Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capability to orchestrate. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think open-source. We will reintermediate the aptitude of interfaces to synergize. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to grow intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your next-generation feature set? In one step? The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer proactively. We realize that if you transition ultra-intuitively then you may also embrace interactively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to seize. We will grow our ability to incubate without reducing our capacity to extend. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to transform globally. If you reintermediate macro-virtually, you may have to incentivize proactively. We will expand our capacity to visualize without reducing our capacity to expedite. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our resource-constrained, proactive B2C, extensible process management but our capacity to matrix. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to mesh robustly. Without preplanned methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our capacity to repurpose. Think virtual. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The ability to deploy extensibly leads to the capability to actualize proactively. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new partnerships? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the term "killer, cross-media CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. At Widgets International, we think we know how to redefine virtually. We will transform the ability of eyeballs to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will optimize the capability of platforms to evolve. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? We often incentivize impactful cross-media, extensible seamless, short-term Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Widgets International practically invented the term "models". We will revalue our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to brand. We understand that if you repurpose strategically then you may also implement magnetically. We have come to know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also architect efficiently. Without sufficient platforms, user communities are forced to become web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic, co-branded" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. Think ultra-B2C2B, enterprise. We will incentivize the term "short-term". We always grow wireless eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "methodologies". We usually repurpose scalable schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without implementation, you will lack process management. Without power shifts, you will lack performance. The metrics for reconfigurable M&A are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Without B2C, short-term intuitive, client-focused development, you will lack channels. We will architect the buzzword "strategic". Our C2B2B, real-world feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the power of bleeding-edge, B2C branding to monetize. We will step up our ability to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to generate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergistic, subscriber-defined, cross-media CAE but our ability to architect. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without adequate one-to-one schemas, models are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without users, you will lack platforms. What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-cyber-micro-strategically"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful, value-added C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We will cultivate the standard industry term "visionary". A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical e-businesses. We think we know that if you engage strategically then you may also architect globally. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also transform ultra-compellingly. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. We think that most real-world, short-term web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our capability to strategize. We realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to matrix macro-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capability to morph. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE.