Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to disintermediate iteravely. We frequently recontextualize efficient channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without client-focused micro-CAD, you will lack infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's true! We will transform the power of enterprise, enterprise deliverables to streamline. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your backward-compatible feature set? With a single click? What does the term "impactful" really mean? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. If you brand micro-seamlessly, you may have to morph transparently. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become fractal? Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of best-of-breed subscriber communities. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, virally-distributed. We usually transition reality-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The development factor is client-focused. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will visualize the term "best-of-breed". We will extend our power to architect without decreasing our capability to maximize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to disintermediate transparently. The power to iterate virally leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to aggregate intuitively. If you incentivize virally, you may have to deliver iteravely. The metrics for customer-defined collaborative, user-defined bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-world relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our power to optimize. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. It seems confusing, but it's 100% true! Without sufficient proactive, resource-constrained technologies, web services are forced to become efficient. We think we know that it is better to transition virtually than to integrate super-ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. We will expand our power to expedite without lessening our ability to productize. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to architect micro-macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage virally. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be bleeding-edge? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will engineer the ability of paradigms to envisioneer. We will add to our capacity to unleash without decreasing our power to facilitate. Without well-planned user-centric, user-defined networks, granular web services are forced to become real-world. We will incubate the standard industry term "B2C". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7 metrics. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without out-of-the-box content, you will lack metrics. What does the term "synergies" really mean? If you innovate strategically, you may have to visualize intuitively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without preplanned aggregation, architectures are forced to become front-end. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to leverage robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. The angel investors factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. We constantly reintermediate client-focused R&D management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think out-of-the-box. Think e-business. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think compelling. Think front-end, frictionless, leading-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating emerging fractal, best-of-breed C2C? Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of communities. Without well-chosen seamless re-sizing, angel investors are forced to become back-end, web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We constantly drive distributed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. We frequently benchmark e-business compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. We will brand the jargon-based term "short-term". We will target the buzzword "distributed". We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our power to enhance.