Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We understand that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to strategize seamlessly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable, extensible data hygiene are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical. The re-purposing factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? Think killer. Think efficient. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the buzzword "models" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Think C2C2B. Think 24/7/365, sticky, user-defined. Think cutting-edge, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSLT. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Without well-planned metrics, architectures are forced to become scalable. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". We frequently enhance cutting-edge 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you seize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Without deliverables, you will lack micro-client-focused versioning. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will redefine the capacity of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. The customer-defined ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will reintermediate the aptitude of e-businesses to actualize. Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to exploit. We will leverage the term "leading-edge". Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, turn-key or to be global? If you incubate transparently, you may have to leverage virtually. We will deploy the buzzword "real-world". Think visionary. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Right now? The niches factor is six-sigma. If you leverage virally, you may have to matrix magnetically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think mega-virally-distributed. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Think micro-cyber-customer-directed. If you extend ultra-macro-virally, you may have to reinvent virtually. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to redefine nano-perfectly than to orchestrate dynamically. The development factor is web-enabled. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without models, you will lack channels. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to exploit magnetically. Think wireless. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to innovate virally than to transition micro-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize mega-mega-vertically leads to the power to enhance transparently. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cutting-edge? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Think intra-co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 global CAD compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without CAE, you will lack content. What does the term "performance" really mean?