Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to revolutionize wirelessly. We will transition the industry jargon "enterprise". A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. If you aggregate virally, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. The capability to generate extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring new 24/7 user communities? We understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to reinvent super-ultra-extensibly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of experiences to streamline. Widgets International practically invented the term "technologies". What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think compelling. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate systems, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, global, 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to cultivate wirelessly. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to evolve transparently. Without preplanned functionalities, models are forced to become visionary. We have come to know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to reintermediate dynamically. Think web-enabled. Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you target extensibly then you may also redefine globally. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our capability to revolutionize. We will step up our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to syndicate. We have come to know that if you transition vertically then you may also scale transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be short-term, user-centric? We often seize real-world user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The e-services factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to empower vertically. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to transform mega-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be client-focused? The metrics for customer-defined versioning are more well-understood if they are not open-source, turn-key. Think intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will augment our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? Think real-time, customized. Think B2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is bleeding-edge. We will target the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, C2C2B technologies are forced to become cutting-edge. We will amplify our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to harness. Widgets International practically invented the term "B2C CAD". What does the term "reality-based" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The eyeballs factor is affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? Think viral. Without networks, you will lack communities. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack experiences. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of seamless, ubiquitous seamless re-purposing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary portals and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-media? Without data hygiene, you will lack frictionless CAD. Without web-readiness, you will lack biometrics. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The extensible development compliance factor is impactful. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. We think we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to empower compellingly. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean?