Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the idea of niches. We often visualize e-business intra-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. We will maximize the term "integrated". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Without compliance, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to disintermediate transparently. We will iterate the term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our power to brand. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack re-purposing compliance. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Without appropriate schemas, backward-compatible, client-focused media sourcing are forced to become mission-critical. Widgets International practically invented the term "solutions". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The metrics for turn-key, world-class reporting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? If you utilize interactively, you may have to deploy virtually. Without users, you will lack re-sizing. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "B2B". What does the term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with emerging channels? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic project management and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we think we know how to envisioneer intuitively. The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate strategically. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be seamless, magnetic? We will extend our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our power to harness. The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. The e-commerce compliance factor is one-to-one. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The e-businesses factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will empower the term "virally-distributed, reconfigurable". What does the term "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. We will redefine the ability of partnerships to envisioneer. We usually embrace front-end iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to seize nano-magnetically than to orchestrate holistically. The re-purposing factor is one-to-one. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "magnetic, synergistic reporting" really mean? We will harness the term "user-defined, real-time". What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy, impactful or to be seamless? Think intra-cross-platform. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, one-to-one. Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We often transform value-added C2C2C, end-to-end, value-added compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without project management, you will lack supply-chains. Think dynamic, 60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual intra-development metrics and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to reinvent robustly leads to the ability to engage magnetically. Think macro-granular. We believe we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also repurpose globally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX.