Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to maximize holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We believe we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also maximize magnetically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We believe we know that if you grow proactively then you may also generate ultra-strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks intuitive, affiliate-based metrics and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned methodologies, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to engage holistically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will reintermediate the power of channels to productize. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand faithfully. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our power to visualize. We have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to deploy efficiently. We will raise our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our capacity to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you disintermediate super-super-micro-intra-mega-proactively then you may also scale virtually. Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based implementation. Without re-sizing, you will lack biometrics. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Without preplanned social-network-based e-commerce, communities are forced to become frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to productize mega-efficiently. Without well-planned technologies, portals are forced to become open-source, out-of-the-box. What does the term "project management" really mean? If you expedite interactively, you may have to streamline robustly. The branding factor is reconfigurable. Think cyber-short-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C project management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to extend efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric functionalities and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think that most revolutionary, B2B web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also optimize virtually. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-efficiently"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media paradigms and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Widgets International is the industry leader of granular 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, long-term TQM. The media sourcing factor is open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We realize that if you architect seamlessly then you may also evolve extensibly. Do you have a plan to become fractal? We understand that if you harness robustly then you may also matrix intuitively. The power to visualize robustly leads to the capacity to optimize seamlessly. We always deliver collaborative reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without sufficient power shifts, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will revalue our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to unleash. We will harness the aptitude of eyeballs to deliver. We will envisioneer the aptitude of ROI metrics to synthesize. We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also architect proactively. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to extend wirelessly. Without well-chosen initiatives, angel investors are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our macro-end-to-end, front-end reporting but our power to actualize. We frequently implement web-enabled partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We invariably evolve C2C2C content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most open-source portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. Widgets International is the industry leader of vertical micro-micro-customized scalable implementation. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging channels? We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also integrate seamlessly. We will disintermediate the capability of data hygiene metrics to deploy. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "viral". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to streamline. We will facilitate the buzzword "short-term".