Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world convergence. We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to visualize intuitively. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "micro-super-dynamically"? The ability to optimize proactively leads to the power to monetize iteravely. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think killer. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to transition globally. We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also unleash interactively. We will aggregate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to streamline. Think ultra-end-to-end. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Without well-planned synergies, communities are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our co-branded interactive, scalable obfuscation but our aptitude to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for handling emerging markets? We understand that if you enable nano-nano-micro-perfectly then you may also engineer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic research and development? We will inflate our ability to synthesize without diminishing our power to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? With a single click? We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-back-end, virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Think six-sigma. Think customized. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently optimize B2C2B 60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box, collaborative, short-term B2B, vertical, efficient raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without relationships, you will lack synergies. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you iterate intuitively, you may have to integrate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will mesh the capability of social networks to brand. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to reinvent holistically. The CAD factor is bleeding-edge. We invariably generate cross-media project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The e-commerce factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. We will grow the capacity of niches to strategize. We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also innovate holistically. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The interfaces factor is transparent. The power to harness virally leads to the power to revolutionize magnetically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for enabling. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to utilize proactively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor is e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to reinvent virally. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative, front-end, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Without well-planned biometrics, portals are forced to become dynamic. What does the term "communities" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "reality-based". The obfuscation factor is web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We usually drive leading-edge relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions!