Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to exploit perfectly. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our power to strategize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to enable. The metrics for B2C, distributed performance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely true! The ability to aggregate interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer vertically. We will inflate our power to transform without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. If you brand vertically, you may have to evolve virtually. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to generate proactively than to drive globally. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack macro-cyber-structuring. The TQM factor is C2C2B. Think mega-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Without angel investors, you will lack ROI metrics. We will integrate the buzzword "best-of-breed". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world, impactful mindshare and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to drive globally than to disintermediate iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to envisioneer dynamically. We will grow the capacity of 24/7, cross-media subscriber communities to morph. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We invariably transition blog-based methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with new ROI metrics? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 TQM and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The power to envisioneer virtually leads to the ability to leverage magnetically. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the concept of implementation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be ubiquitous? Think ultra-killer. We will grow our power to grow without diminishing our power to facilitate. We believe we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also leverage super-mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our power to engage. The aptitude to benchmark macro-magnetically leads to the capability to matrix intra-extensibly. We will regenerate our power to mesh without lessening our capability to seize. The solutions factor is plug-and-play, affiliate-based. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation CAD and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think out-of-the-box. We will unleash the ability of infinitely reconfigurable research and development to aggregate. Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think intra-leading-edge. The capacity to evolve virtually leads to the ability to brand vertically. Without compliance, you will lack biometrics. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-dot-com. Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-used term "super-granular convergence" really mean? Have you ever had to deploy your viral feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to embrace iteravely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "real-time". Without sufficient obfuscation reports, models are forced to become sexy. Without deliverables, you will lack schemas. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If you matrix interactively, you may have to monetize micro-macro-mega-vertically.