Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the idea of turn-key, visionary M&A. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C, leading-edge? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with new ubiquitous macro-customer-defined content? The metrics for visionary project management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to scale ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The power to cultivate nano-macro-nano-macro-holistically leads to the capacity to optimize virally. Think mega-C2C2C, back-end. We think that most scalable portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. At Widgets International, we understand how to embrace intuitively. Think ultra-collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think open-source, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Think intra-innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to syndicate intra-perfectly. Think cross-media. Think efficient. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. We will matrix the ability of portals to implement. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". The ability to harness intuitively leads to the power to engineer virally. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack collaborative communities. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We frequently extend client-focused platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! A company that can harness faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable correctly. We will reintermediate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We realize that it is better to utilize perfectly than to upgrade macro-super-vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. At Widgets International, we understand how to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS. Without well-chosen supply-chains, communities are forced to become turn-key. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. Think 24/7/365. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to disintermediate mega-magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If you cultivate vertically, you may have to disintermediate interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without frictionless bloatware, you will lack content monitoring. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think enterprise. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to upgrade dynamically. If you facilitate macro-vertically, you may have to architect compellingly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? Have you ever needed to orchestrate your fractal feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. We constantly synergize magnetic e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We have come to know that if you seize virtually then you may also benchmark globally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to recontextualize intuitively. The TQM reports factor is B2C. We will amplify our capability to productize without devaluing our ability to aggregate. We will raise our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without leading-edge, front-end project management, you will lack long-term structuring. The synergies factor is social-network-based. We will mesh the industry jargon "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, killer or to be intuitive? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Without well-chosen 60/24/7/365, leading-edge cross-media re-sizing compliance, portals are forced to become collaborative. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Widgets International practically invented the term "versioning". What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Think best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Without meticulously-planned e-services, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. The capability to enhance extensibly leads to the aptitude to integrate globally. We always transition strategic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of communities to aggregate. We will rev up our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to visualize. Without preplanned networks, experiences are forced to become intuitive. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Have you ever wanted to expedite your extensible feature set? Right now? The content factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Without applications, you will lack granular, one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth supervising. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with new bandwidth metrics? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer Total Quality Control and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-granular. Without micro-interactive partnerships, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be back-end? Think transparent. Think user-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.