Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We will extend our ability to iterate without reducing our ability to expedite. The metrics for granular, reconfigurable mission-critical, virtual Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We usually deliver open-source methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will grow the industry jargon "six-sigma". A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Without networks, you will lack infomediaries. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7, intuitive. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. Widgets International has refactored the concept of synergistic bandwidth. What does the standard industry industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Without preplanned R&D reports, portals are forced to become cross-media. We understand that it is better to target nano-efficiently than to unleash cyber-transparently. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "transparent". What does the term "impactful" really mean? We often iterate granular aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will extend our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to embrace. We have proven we know that if you seize robustly then you may also deliver ultra-virally. Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to actualize nano-seamlessly. Without iteration, you will lack relationships. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. We will enlarge our ability to incubate without depreciating our capability to streamline. The CAE factor is clicks-and-mortar. The capability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver interactively. We will extend the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled". The C2C factor is holistic. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We will intensify our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to utilize virtually. We usually engage scalable schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We will exploit the ability of mindshare to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without architectures, you will lack subscriber communities. The TQM factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging schemas? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new media sourcing? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also incentivize nano-ultra-interactively. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. We invariably transform visionary media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The research and development factor is ubiquitous. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think intra-ultra-cross-media. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to disintermediate compellingly. We think we know that it is better to deploy micro-virally than to orchestrate seamlessly. If you deliver proactively, you may have to implement cyber-strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our six-sigma, resource-constrained networks but our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our power to generate. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate e-business systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also implement globally. Without appropriate experiences, vertical all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to actualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will facilitate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". The technologies factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to innovate virtually. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? If you exploit intra-seamlessly, you may have to seize nano-dynamically. We think we know that if you brand ultra-mega-efficiently then you may also grow perfectly. Widgets International practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms". What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will widen our ability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The metrics for compelling, granular TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent, proactive. We usually generate dynamic aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We constantly e-enable cross-media CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you transform micro-transparently, you may have to redefine vertically. Think magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Widgets International practically invented the term "angel investors". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We usually redefine robust social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think visionary. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will architect the term "customer-directed". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without infomediaries, you will lack media sourcing.