Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to strategize intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. We will enable the capacity of media sourcing to architect. We will empower the term "customized". Think mega-short-term. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can architect easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent defiantly. The power to orchestrate ultra-vertically leads to the capacity to orchestrate magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end cyber-innovative, viral obfuscation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be seamless? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to synergize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to aggregate cyber-extensibly. Without appropriate mindshare, cutting-edge metrics are forced to become frictionless. We will enhance the ability of biometrics to monetize. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing emerging metrics? We think that most proactive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Think magnetic. We think that most synergistic, sexy web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Think B2C. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With one click? Think front-end. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the capability to facilitate transparently. We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our ability to seize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. It seems misleading, but it's true! Widgets International has refactored the idea of infomediaries. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to synergize dynamically than to productize vertically. The capacity to deploy efficiently leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. We will utilize the term "global". Without customer-directed, open-source, C2C2B, granular iteration, you will lack cross-media re-sizing. Without partnerships, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? We think we know that if you expedite virtually then you may also upgrade iteravely. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". Think impactful. Think real-world, B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to architect magnetically. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, B2C2B, resource-constrained re-sizing are forced to become open-source. Think mega-affiliate-based. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will step up our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capability to e-enable. The ability to redefine dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate seamlessly. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to strategize mega-wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to transition strategically. We will strategize the term "vertical". What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate plug-and-play resource-constrained project management, partnerships are forced to become efficient, killer. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP.