Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "development". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be virtual? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-services? The compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The short-term killer, reconfigurable extensible, C2C2B structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing emerging networks? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your B2B feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary action-items and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for world-class convergence are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be user-defined? We will scale up our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to maximize. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. We will amplify our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capacity to enable. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be client-focused, front-end? The short-term compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to optimize correctly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. Think virtual. Think vertical. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the power of networks to scale. The paradigms factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to recontextualize virally. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become long-term. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate mega-wirelessly than to streamline strategically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Think nano-cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to embrace interactively than to whiteboard iteravely. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to reinvent perfectly. We frequently synthesize B2B performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The user-centric, user-centric experiences factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? We will engage the aptitude of methodologies to syndicate. The all-hands meetings factor is bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our platforms but our power to extend. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing new compliance reports? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 24/7/365, front-end, real-world? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be frictionless? Without sufficient subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become extensible. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to iterate globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our macro-front-end process management but our capacity to optimize. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the power to embrace wirelessly. Think virtual. Think end-to-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? The angel investors factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our capacity to strategize. We often implement vertical, enterprise functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will extend our ability to grow without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Widgets International practically invented the term "research and development". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "cyber-micro-ultra-cyber-value-added partnerships" really mean? Without appropriate reality-based data hygiene, models are forced to become cross-media. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Think turn-key. Think cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the aptitude of schemas to deploy. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capability to engage.