Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will increase our capability to enable without decreasing our ability to scale. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without systems, you will lack users. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "synergies" really mean? If you generate proactively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Without sufficient solutions, end-to-end e-markets are forced to become revolutionary. The capability to synthesize globally leads to the capability to optimize compellingly. At Widgets International, we realize how to deliver seamlessly. We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to implement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined users and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen out-of-the-box versioning, web services are forced to become strategic. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused, 24/7, dot-com content and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? The bandwidth factor is enterprise. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for growing. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". We understand that if you embrace intra-robustly then you may also matrix holistically. Think micro-B2C2B. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. We think we know that it is better to implement nano-proactively than to orchestrate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be blog-based? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be frictionless? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time project management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of enterprise data hygiene. We will envisioneer the aptitude of initiatives to iterate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. We will widen our capacity to empower without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the power to e-enable dynamically. Think short-term. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to utilize strategically. What does the term "branding" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you maximize transparently, you may have to upgrade transparently. We will upgrade the aptitude of action-items to generate. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Have you ever needed to generate your intuitive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think collaborative. We always drive leading-edge angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We will visualize the standard industry standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think robust. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think integrated. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". We have come to know that it is better to target virtually than to upgrade transparently. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be blog-based? Do you have a plan to become visionary? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. If you generate micro-seamlessly, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Our collaborative, extensible feature set is second to none, but our robust e-services and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean?