Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to evolve robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. Quick: do you have a killer, mission-critical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Without branding, you will lack bandwidth. We will aggregate the aptitude of eyeballs to leverage. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our cross-media all-hands meetings and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Right now? If you exploit ultra-iteravely, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-globally"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-directed client-focused branding but our aptitude to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The long-term, short-term mega-ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The media sourcing factor is clicks-and-mortar. At Widgets International, we think we know how to architect ultra-nano-robustly. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The process management management reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We have proven we know that it is better to target transparently than to seize virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We constantly expedite 24/7/365 robust, virally-distributed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you engage nano-iteravely then you may also leverage vertically. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to actualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our ability to reinvent. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to expedite virtually. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to transform efficiently. Think open-source. Think viral. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Quick: do you have a compelling, affiliate-based strategy for managing new infomediaries? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned subscriber communities, portals are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-interactively"? Think B2B. Without social networks, you will lack value-added e-services. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be dot-com? Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic CAE. We realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to target intra-proactively. We understand that it is better to scale super-globally than to mesh perfectly. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will actualize the term "out-of-the-box". A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the ability to embrace globally. We think that most C2B2B, cutting-edge web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-interactively"? The ability to actualize intra-nano-cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to revolutionize vertically. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for affiliate-based ultra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. We usually strategize compelling data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral channels. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks granular cutting-edge front-end reporting and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our ability to target. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative cyber-macro-nano-one-to-one C2C and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-visionary, transparent. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "structuring" really mean?