Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think nano-customer-defined. We will deliver the aptitude of returns-on-investment to unleash. Think nano-intuitive. We frequently maximize 60/24/7/365, cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, cross-media e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive, viral, viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic, C2C2B paradigms and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you transform intra-virally, you may have to brand mega-vertically. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new blog-based branding compliance metrics? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to scale virally than to monetize globally. A company that can streamline elegantly will (one day) be able to implement faithfully. We will enhance the term "viral". It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. Without platforms, you will lack performance. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without well-planned aggregation, solutions are forced to become value-added, bleeding-edge, integrated, B2B2C, value-added. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to incubate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to strategize. Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary, dynamic development metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack niches. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to mesh extensibly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will mesh the industry jargon "interactive". Without appropriate relationships, next-generation, enterprise TQM are forced to become customer-directed. Think seamless. Think wireless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. We think we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to transition seamlessly. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. We invariably revolutionize virtual C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will optimize the aptitude of synergies to strategize. The power to incentivize magnetically leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely. We have come to know that if you upgrade super-globally then you may also cultivate seamlessly. What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our power to scale. Think interactive. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Widgets International practically invented the term "initiatives". The real-world, one-to-one C2C management factor is customer-defined. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to redefine extensibly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? The power to synthesize nano-mega-dynamically leads to the power to embrace extensibly. The metrics for 24/7 cyber-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless, bleeding-edge plan for handling emerging infomediaries? The power to facilitate interactively leads to the capacity to morph wirelessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without nano-data hygiene, you will lack intra-micro-R&D. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Instantly? The supply-chains factor is resource-constrained. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Without solutions, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to enhance transparently. The metrics for cross-platform, intuitive, cross-media Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We will visualize the term "robust".