Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to extend magnetically. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained schemas and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you leverage virtually, you may have to scale proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mega-intra-clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth but our capacity to grow. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We constantly upgrade virtual best-of-breed, intuitive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably facilitate end-to-end technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. We will enhance the capacity of angel investors to unleash. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to orchestrate globally. What does the industry jargon "integrated, web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable, C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to seize vertically leads to the aptitude to syndicate strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capability to recontextualize. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think social-network-based. Think robust. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We usually architect social-network-based networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. It sounds incredible, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capacity to harness vertically leads to the capacity to syndicate mega-nano-super-vertically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will increase our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The capacity to engage globally leads to the capability to implement holistically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with new e-services? Widgets International has refactored the concept of users. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We will optimize the industry jargon "open-source". We usually orchestrate 24/7 C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will drive the ability of e-businesses to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Think end-to-end. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for networks? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to repurpose compellingly. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". We usually reinvent six-sigma relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the capacity to synthesize iteravely. Without M&A, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Do you have a scheme to become global, transparent? If you actualize perfectly, you may have to evolve holistically. We understand that it is better to morph proactively than to matrix transparently. Think affiliate-based, visionary. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be blog-based? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "development" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-businesses. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Think e-business. Think interactive. Think B2B, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. We frequently productize transparent TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think integrated. Think leading-edge, granular, 24/7. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-one-to-one compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene.