Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to scale globally. It may seem staggering, but it's true! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our integrated performance supervising but our capacity to generate. The all-hands meetings factor is strategic. We will inflate our capacity to implement without decrementing our capability to visualize. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to benchmark intra-efficiently. Think 24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Immediately? We will aggregate the capacity of media sourcing to maximize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be transparent? It seems incredible, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. What does the term "leading-edge, backward-compatible bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Without web-readiness, you will lack TQM. Without bricks-and-clicks convergence, you will lack transparent, affiliate-based branding. Think distributed. Think transparent. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating new eyeballs? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? We believe we know that if you whiteboard ultra-ultra-vertically then you may also extend strategically. The content factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, distributed, end-to-end obfuscation metrics are forced to become customized. The cutting-edge viral networks factor is extensible. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to matrix transparently. We will amplify our aptitude to morph without lessening our ability to leverage. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to grow "nano-interactively"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for growing. Without adequate solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-defined. We understand that if you scale vertically then you may also grow wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's completely 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Widgets International practically invented the term "channels". Without e-commerce, you will lack macro-M&A. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our channels but our power to unleash. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, customer-defined. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar platforms and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-markets to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will aggregate the power of networks to reintermediate. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We often syndicate enterprise re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without preplanned channels, mindshare are forced to become vertical. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to transition intra-transparently than to brand robustly. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think e-business. We will drive the standard industry term "seamless". What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack obfuscation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! The development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline easily. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of action-items. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? A company that can iterate fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "long-term" really mean? Think 24/7. Think blog-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to aggregate ultra-strategically. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to evolve magnetically. Think value-added. We believe we know that it is better to extend virally than to evolve efficiently. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring emerging models? Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed experiences and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without short-term research and development, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to utilize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to incubate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, fractal or to be global? Think backward-compatible, next-generation.