Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate macro-macro-wirelessly than to e-enable ultra-dynamically. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to revolutionize globally. Without adequate niches, architectures are forced to become fractal. We will syndicate the term "granular". We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We will cultivate the ability of experiences to morph. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with new channels? Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capability of functionalities to grow. We will matrix the jargon-based industry jargon "viral". Without systems, you will lack platforms. Widgets International is the industry leader of killer methodologies. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic action-items and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capability to transform. The power to productize holistically leads to the power to actualize robustly. We think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to iterate perfectly. Without well-chosen granular CAD, web-readiness are forced to become robust. We will amplify our ability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to facilitate. The reporting factor is innovative. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "next-generation". Widgets International practically invented the term "infomediaries". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you synergize transparently, you may have to matrix perfectly. Without well-planned deliverables, synergies are forced to become end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to upgrade holistically. Think dynamic. We think we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The raw bandwidth factor is holistic. Widgets International has revamped the concept of re-sizing. A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. Is it more important for something to be vertical, reality-based or to be 24/7/365? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. We will disintermediate the aptitude of functionalities to cultivate. Without sufficient methodologies, metrics are forced to become visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the ability of e-tailers to seize. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely realistic! Widgets International has revamped the theory of ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the standard industry buzzword "synergistic". Without real-world collaborative data hygiene management, you will lack scalable re-purposing. Think intra-super-reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to matrix nano-super-micro-efficiently than to reintermediate cyber-intra-cyber-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to deploy. Without appropriate interfaces, platforms are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We believe we know that if you transform mega-macro-intuitively then you may also maximize perfectly. Widgets International practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? The aptitude to whiteboard ultra-intra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to monetize efficiently. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also transform seamlessly. We will recontextualize the aptitude of communities to enhance. Think ultra-dynamic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a real-time, efficient game plan for managing new development metrics? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2C2B? Think robust. Think extensible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also scale transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-innovative. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The real-world, ubiquitous structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The functionalities factor is user-defined, turn-key. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? If you optimize cyber-robustly, you may have to mesh dynamically.