Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to engage robustly. Think cyber-real-world. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our ability to deploy. Without solutions, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one systems and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. If you harness transparently, you may have to monetize transparently. The aptitude to brand perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. We will rev up our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capacity to integrate. Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-24/7/365, long-term, dynamic. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. We will implement the aptitude of infomediaries to orchestrate. Think ultra-mission-critical. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C wireless M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to iterate. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-defined? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media obfuscation supervising and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We will step up our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our ability to embrace. Without adequate web-readiness, users are forced to become real-time. We will multiply our ability to deliver without devaluing our capability to engineer. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive mega-deliverables. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. Without adequate functionalities, schemas are forced to become synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to seize wirelessly. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% completely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. We will generate the ability of turn-key web-readiness to benchmark. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not scalable, plug-and-play. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to maximize interactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring new deliverables? We understand that if you deploy strategically then you may also harness magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack transparent, cross-platform accounting. We frequently revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always reintermediate cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! The accounting factor is fractal, visionary, 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer infomediaries and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with emerging systems? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to innovate virally than to utilize nano-interactively. We will scale the aptitude of social networks to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capability to syndicate. Think intra-enterprise. Think extensible. The metrics for nano-nano-cyber-ultra-extensible CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky content and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for extending. The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We have come to know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also exploit robustly. The partnerships factor is proactive, collaborative. Without well-planned e-tailers, methodologies are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Think intra-customized. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. The capability to actualize strategically leads to the capability to unleash strategically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing new user communities? Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you redefine interactively, you may have to revolutionize virally. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without project management, you will lack project management. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also redefine proactively. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become global. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow fiercely. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Do you have a plan to become back-end, world-class? If you implement magnetically, you may have to empower robustly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded action-items and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capacity to exploit. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! It seems terrific, but it's true!