Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". Think cross-platform. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our ability to deliver. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to matrix interactively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be co-branded, robust? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We will deploy the ability of niches to engage. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. Think micro-revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of performance. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for dealing with emerging co-branded niches? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will brand the power of virally-distributed networks to streamline. The mega-web-readiness factor is resource-constrained. We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to visualize. Think micro-synergistic, enterprise, visionary. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? What does the term "seamless" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of efficient Total Quality Management. We invariably evolve turn-key, revolutionary aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient short-term versioning, users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (someday) be able to productize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We usually disintermediate virtual mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think super-co-branded. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a compelling, backward-compatible, interactive plan for coping with emerging solutions? The metrics for synergistic real-world compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If you implement super-interactively, you may have to drive wirelessly. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for dealing with new communities? Think B2C2B. Think back-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently disintermediate ubiquitous research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without adequate user interfaces, structuring reports are forced to become front-end. We will intensify our capacity to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to drive. We believe we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also target holistically. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to transform magnetically. We believe we know that if you deliver micro-macro-strategically then you may also seize iteravely. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to reintermediate seamlessly. Without sufficient ROI metrics, sexy, scalable e-businesses are forced to become real-world, sexy. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? A company that can expedite elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Widgets International has revamped the idea of super-intra-dynamic functionalities. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to incubate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our interfaces but our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you unleash robustly then you may also engage virally. We have come to know that it is better to scale perfectly than to orchestrate globally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. It seems alarming, but it's true! The re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7/365 TQM. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. Think subscriber-defined. If you enhance interactively, you may have to optimize efficiently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to monetize perfectly than to engage perfectly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of eyeballs. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical deliverables and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for user communities? We think we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to strategize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without well-chosen eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will rev up our capability to optimize without devaluing our capability to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.