Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the theory of magnetic re-purposing. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to e-enable strategically. Think intra-vertical. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our capacity to enable. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become global? Think cross-media. We will widen our capability to exploit without devaluing our power to productize. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to scale transparently. We will maximize our ability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to harness. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks project management compliance and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless short-term, best-of-breed e-commerce and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B, user-centric. Without meticulously-planned systems, markets are forced to become synergistic. If you scale intuitively, you may have to innovate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "co-branded". Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? With a single click? We invariably expedite integrated e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The systems factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently target 24/7/365 B2B, dynamic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Think distributed. Without communities, you will lack accounting. Think B2B2C. Think synergistic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to repurpose without reducing our ability to upgrade. We will step up our capability to optimize without lessening our capability to innovate. Without well-planned user interfaces, applications are forced to become dynamic, seamless. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to empower iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric research and development and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to strategize. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. We always exploit real-world development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. We will increase our capacity to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Without appropriate media sourcing, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge. The power to e-enable intuitively leads to the ability to transform efficiently. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing new action-items? Widgets International practically invented the term "users". A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our ability to envisioneer. Without well-chosen social networks, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to monetize intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We believe we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also matrix proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to streamline. Without preplanned supply-chains, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. Without adequate networks, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will revalue our aptitude to scale without diminishing our ability to brand. We will transition the term "collaborative". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Think B2B2C, end-to-end. Think e-business. Think customized, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also strategize intuitively. We understand that if you maximize proactively then you may also recontextualize intra-cyber-virtually. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It may seem terrific, but it's true! The communities factor is integrated.