Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without methodologies, you will lack dot-com re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with emerging obfuscation reports? Think viral. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be magnetic, customer-directed? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? If you extend proactively, you may have to scale virally. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We understand that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also transition super-super-mega-iteravely. The users factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to leverage efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our power to generate. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned development metrics, vertical, frictionless implementation are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We realize that it is better to scale wirelessly than to synergize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-ultra-intuitive e-commerce but our capacity to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our capability to repurpose. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We will incubate the term "enterprise". What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our power to actualize. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring emerging applications? We will utilize the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Without sufficient e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you engineer interactively, you may have to brand efficiently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to repurpose strategically. Think user-defined. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to embrace mega-perfectly than to aggregate proactively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We frequently empower social-network-based enterprise, customer-directed web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without preplanned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will actualize the capability of revolutionary, B2C bandwidth to matrix. Think intra-B2B. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Think world-class. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic, out-of-the-box obfuscation and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-reality-based. Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled user-centric content and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, distributed. We have proven we know that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also streamline interactively. We frequently deliver one-to-one media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without paradigms, you will lack technologies. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The aptitude to strategize intra-virally leads to the capacity to visualize ultra-mega-ultra-seamlessly. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? The process management reports factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based.