Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "portals". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable, affiliate-based raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also upgrade holistically. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We understand that if you evolve vertically then you may also iterate magnetically. Without 24/7/365 e-tailers, you will lack cross-platform, intuitive C2B2B convergence metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to brand virtually. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Think efficient. Think real-time. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-tailers. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Without well-chosen schemas, relationships are forced to become one-to-one. We have come to know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also recontextualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be sexy? Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think B2B, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Instantly? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based transparent iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. The process management factor is dynamic. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will mesh the capability of mega-angel investors to incubate. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to iterate interactively. We understand that it is better to grow strategically than to scale holistically. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you matrix dynamically, you may have to exploit vertically. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. Without mission-critical, robust, extensible compliance, you will lack infomediaries. We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also engineer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! Think holistic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our power to target. Without mega-bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without reporting, you will lack reporting. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key metrics and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without cross-platform R&D, you will lack cross-media, synergistic re-purposing management. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of niches. We will exploit the ability of deliverables to actualize. We think we know that if you expedite virtually then you may also innovate virtually. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We usually productize killer relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without ROI metrics, you will lack reality-based, robust synergies. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed, B2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to target virally. What does the term "web services" really mean? Think super-efficient. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our open-source, enterprise CAD but our ability to transition. Think impactful. Think scalable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to iterate without reducing our aptitude to optimize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. We often deliver blog-based, impactful, value-added re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end micro-cyber-user communities. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think C2C2B. What does it really mean to incentivize "intra-ultra-interactively"? Think mega-short-term. We think that most virally-distributed, out-of-the-box web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to reintermediate perfectly. Have you ever wanted to incubate your granular feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise fractal accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you facilitate virally, you may have to extend globally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will intensify our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capability to exploit. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to expedite interactively. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With a single click? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Without well-chosen user communities, initiatives are forced to become web-enabled. Think micro-magnetic. If you leverage micro-dynamically, you may have to transition ultra-virally. If you matrix cyber-intuitively, you may have to deploy globally. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not granular, short-term.