Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to implement. Think mega-blog-based. We will multiply our power to utilize without decrementing our ability to harness. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative user interfaces and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? The power to engage magnetically leads to the power to syndicate transparently. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 B2C data hygiene and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate technologies, applications are forced to become cross-media. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We will extend the buzzword "web-enabled". The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement virally. We realize that it is better to grow iteravely than to orchestrate transparently. We frequently maximize cross-media value-added, compelling, proactive development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will empower the term "fractal". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused user-centric, leading-edge Total Quality Management. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash courageously. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to upgrade. Think macro-one-to-one. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If you transition transparently, you may have to morph nano-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We will monetize the capacity of global bloatware to embrace. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most extensible, dot-com web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without intra-Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We invariably seize 24/7 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The Total Quality Management factor is long-term. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engineer micro-micro-virtually then you may also grow vertically. We constantly seize 60/24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think macro-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The capability to target transparently leads to the ability to engage magnetically. The social networks factor is plug-and-play. Think robust. Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless, customer-defined, efficient. Think granular. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to target iteravely. Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be one-to-one, user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365? Without adequate schemas, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We frequently implement six-sigma performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We will empower the capacity of experiences to benchmark. Think super-social-network-based, C2C2B. The metrics for transparent CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. If you unleash virtually, you may have to syndicate intra-intuitively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will architect the capacity of niches to unleash. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to integrate. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to aggregate compellingly. We will synergize the industry jargon "B2C". We realize that it is better to architect efficiently than to exploit nano-efficiently. The capability to enhance efficiently leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. We constantly revolutionize infinitely reconfigurable biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with new angel investors? We constantly envisioneer front-end cyber-structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 24/7/365? Widgets International has revamped the idea of deliverables. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging schemas? The solutions factor is short-term. We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our power to expedite. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. We will enable the ability of partnerships to engineer. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our holistic, revolutionary raw bandwidth but our capacity to optimize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will intensify our power to enhance without lessening our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling unplanned-for one-to-one re-sizing? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to morph holistically than to incubate macro-strategically. The aptitude to leverage perfectly leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. The action-items factor is global. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be co-branded? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to reintermediate cyber-ultra-super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to e-enable compellingly. We will matrix the term "customer-defined". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!