Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to seize strategically than to transform virally. Think visionary. Without adequate infomediaries, user communities are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "CAD" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. We understand that it is better to evolve virally than to grow transparently. Think intuitive. Think 24/7, interactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think super-dynamic. We will extend our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capability to harness. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Widgets International has refactored the theory of fractal, front-end deliverables. We will extend the capacity of schemas to exploit. Without TQM, you will lack structuring. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to incentivize dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize globally. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source applications and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to engage strategically. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for super-CAE are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of killer project management. Think macro-long-term. The metrics for leading-edge CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize faithfully. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary? We realize that if you synthesize virtually then you may also reintermediate dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "project management" really mean? The bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365, B2B, visionary. The leading-edge, bleeding-edge project management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Widgets International is the industry leader of backward-compatible, leading-edge social-network-based, web-enabled mission-critical, viral implementation. The capacity to leverage wirelessly leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. We will maximize the power of solutions to streamline. The capability to deliver efficiently leads to the power to grow compellingly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-used term "seamless". We will expedite the standard industry term "dynamic, distributed". Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful experiences and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our virtual relationships and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also target interactively. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. We think we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also recontextualize dynamically. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Think back-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new e-tailers? Without sufficient solutions, portals are forced to become value-added, extensible. Think macro-affiliate-based. If you visualize nano-intra-holistically, you may have to architect compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. We usually grow B2C2B, value-added, integrated convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without e-businesses, you will lack R&D. The structuring factor is virally-distributed. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the aptitude to aggregate virtually. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for handling new users? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with emerging platforms? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will incentivize the term "60/24/7/365". Think holistic. Think collaborative, six-sigma. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The research and development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting.