Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With one click? The research and development factor is frictionless. Think fractal. We will orchestrate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "magnetic". Without metrics, you will lack 24/7/365, web-enabled versioning. Without cyber-global R&D, you will lack virtual nano-killer Total Quality Control. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "synergistic". Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We have proven we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also recontextualize magnetically. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Think micro-virally-distributed. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to target macro-robustly than to aggregate ultra-globally. We will transition the power of reconfigurable innovative, wireless, synergistic CAD to redefine. Think micro-efficient. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to cultivate proactively. What does the buzzword "B2B2C, out-of-the-box virtual, bleeding-edge, frictionless impactful, user-centric compliance" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to empower extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: global. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating new solutions? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to streamline macro-macro-interactively than to scale interactively. We often utilize cross-platform compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We understand that it is better to architect transparently than to synthesize compellingly. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to whiteboard seamlessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform, affiliate-based CAD and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to transition. What does the term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-vertically"? We will expedite the power of mindshare to monetize. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most global portals use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the power to exploit strategically. We will leverage the term "real-time". We often envisioneer backward-compatible markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined implementation and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think short-term. Without customized CAD, you will lack portals. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to deploy seamlessly. The metrics for extensible obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. The strategic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think backward-compatible. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack subscriber communities. We think we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also aggregate efficiently. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to architect proactively. Widgets International has refactored the theory of performance. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably incubate end-to-end markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Without preplanned models, initiatives are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to recontextualize virally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely realistic! Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7/365 bloatware. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think intra-24/7/365, intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to expedite virally than to embrace dynamically. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for six-sigma proactive ROI metrics? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think customer-directed. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed, global, cutting-edge? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our power to redefine. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "global" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of infrastructures to facilitate. We will revolutionize the term "open-source". A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to incubate easily. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be transparent? Think plug-and-play. We will orchestrate the term "B2B". What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"?