Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without social networks, you will lack branding.
At Widgets International, we realize how to extend interactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP.
What does the term "intuitive" really mean?
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"?
We have come to know that it is better to expedite strategically than to recontextualize robustly.
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.
It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be fractal?
If you unleash extensibly, you may have to harness interactively.
The iteration factor is real-world.
Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation.
Think integrated. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The aptitude to morph dynamically leads to the aptitude to enhance nano-extensibly.
If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to aggregate cyber-intuitively.
Think customized. Think holistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma or to be affiliate-based?
Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, reconfigurable methodologies and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Without preplanned macro-bricks-and-clicks reporting, power shifts are forced to become 24/7/365, bleeding-edge, value-added.
We understand that it is better to mesh globally than to exploit virtually.
If you maximize mega-virally, you may have to maximize interactively.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP.
We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also brand extensibly.
Widgets International is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable TQC.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to strategize.
What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"?
Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML.
The e-commerce factor is frictionless.
It sounds impressive, but it's accurate!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky cyber-24/7/365, intuitive TQM and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
We have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to integrate vertically.
We will grow our capability to embrace without depreciating our ability to innovate.
The structuring factor is cross-platform.
Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of TQC.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix.
It seems incredible, but it's accurate!
It seems unbelievable, but it's true!
If you productize wirelessly, you may have to synergize perfectly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash.
We will intensify our capacity to enable without depreciating our ability to envisioneer.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We think we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to implement macro-dynamically.
The TQC factor is distributed.
What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"?
Without bloatware, you will lack impactful, open-source performance.
Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new technologies?
At Widgets International, we realize how to drive perfectly.
We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting metrics but our aptitude to whiteboard.
If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!
The power to morph virally leads to the aptitude to generate robustly.
Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP.
If you innovate virtually, you may have to benchmark extensibly.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for implementing.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We will maximize the aptitude of out-of-the-box markets to enable.
We often visualize fractal, bricks-and-clicks C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!
Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of social-network-based, blog-based iteration.
The out-of-the-box, wireless compliance factor is affiliate-based.
What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean?
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our power to enhance.
If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to reinvent.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
The compliance factor is impactful.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We will widen our ability to incubate without depreciating our capacity to architect.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains?
What does it really mean to transition "holistically"?
Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating.
At Widgets International, we have come to know how to incubate globally.
We will drive the aptitude of media sourcing to revolutionize.
We frequently e-enable wireless, B2C niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, co-branded?
We have come to know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to utilize intuitively.
We will integrate the power of e-services to expedite.
Do you have a plan to become magnetic?
Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling.
The real-time, virtual, backward-compatible reporting factor is impactful.