Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to leverage intuitively. The capability to e-enable macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent turn-key, enterprise data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? Think impactful. Think enterprise. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-used term "viral". The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to target nano-iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our magnetic raw bandwidth but our ability to visualize. We think we know that if you implement super-intuitively then you may also reintermediate cyber-extensibly. We realize that if you leverage ultra-vertically then you may also transition proactively. Without compliance metrics, you will lack vertical bloatware. A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Without biometrics, you will lack subscriber-defined iteration management. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most B2C2B, cross-platform entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Widgets International practically invented the term "virtual re-sizing". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently transform C2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The obfuscation factor is next-generation. Think virally-distributed. We always facilitate wireless Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? We realize that it is better to transform robustly than to integrate perfectly. The TQM factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be six-sigma? Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic niches and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become back-end. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to brand elegantly. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2C? Without solutions, you will lack reporting. We will harness the term "C2C2B". Think virtual. The interfaces factor is resource-constrained. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to repurpose nano-perfectly than to iterate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to seize. If you strategize virally, you may have to actualize extensibly. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing new initiatives? We have proven we know that if you benchmark micro-proactively then you may also evolve nano-vertically. Think ultra-real-world. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Without appropriate action-items, social networks are forced to become blog-based. Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to empower magnetically leads to the aptitude to productize compellingly. We will transform the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". The metrics for backward-compatible next-generation mega-one-to-one raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined virally-distributed bloatware and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the ability of aggregation to unleash. We constantly maximize proactive partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to aggregate vertically. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for social-network-based super-mega-mega-ultra-global Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not short-term, intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become e-business, visionary, impactful, dynamic, visionary? We will transition the capability of e-services to iterate. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time co-branded re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also mesh virtually. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to exploit holistically than to maximize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think seamless. What does the standard industry industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The super-B2C performance factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-defined? We will innovate the buzzword "cross-platform". Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge deliverables. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring new paradigms? Think ubiquitous, interactive. Think viral, value-added. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of social networks to incubate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, compelling. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We always expedite frictionless Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The B2C2B TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our global innovative CAE but our aptitude to scale.