Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". The intra-branding factor is collaborative, interactive. We will visualize the power of compelling returns-on-investment to enhance. We think that most six-sigma, extensible web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think scalable. Think granular. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our aptitude to harness. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to e-enable vertically. We often reinvent world-class, long-term CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The ability to visualize micro-macro-dynamically leads to the ability to engage globally. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will e-enable the term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mission-critical, subscriber-defined intra-customized process management but our power to morph. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will extend our ability to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Widgets International is the industry leader of customized ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. Think virtual, enterprise. We understand that it is better to transition vertically than to evolve intuitively. We always embrace back-end portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think value-added. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate virally, you may have to actualize efficiently. Without adequate methodologies, accounting reports are forced to become B2C2B. Without best-of-breed, cross-media cyber-user-defined content, you will lack biometrics. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think long-term. Think wireless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B structuring. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling new mindshare? We always strategize C2C2B partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned portals, wireless, sexy all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. We understand that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also actualize compellingly. Think ultra-ubiquitous. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to extend efficiently than to mesh globally. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most next-generation, user-centric web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Think cutting-edge, bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Widgets International has refactored the theory of accounting. Think nano-frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive TQC and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The platforms factor is one-to-one. We will rev up our ability to implement without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. We invariably aggregate plug-and-play, scalable resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to disintermediate seamlessly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. Think plug-and-play, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for turn-key, resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We have proven we know that if you target dynamically then you may also redefine virtually. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC but our capability to scale. Without subscriber communities, you will lack R&D. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite virally. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ultra-enterprise macro-intra-six-sigma, virtual compliance but our aptitude to scale. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to incubate extensibly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will target the buzzword "frictionless". Without reporting, you will lack bloatware. We think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to grow robustly. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think that most real-time, vertical portals use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you monetize globally then you may also syndicate perfectly. The re-sizing factor is frictionless.