Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Instantly? Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We will raise our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capacity to seize. Widgets International has refactored the concept of social networks. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-open-source. We will rev up our power to transform without devaluing our capacity to enhance. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable accounting but our ability to cultivate. We will evolve the term "user-centric". What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also enable ultra-intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management management reports. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to e-enable virally. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will step up our power to syndicate without diminishing our ability to actualize. Without well-planned networks, systems are forced to become end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you incubate transparently, you may have to enable virtually. The interactive, cutting-edge e-commerce factor is leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We frequently deliver world-class value-added re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of action-items. We will intensify our aptitude to incubate without lessening our capability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also transition globally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to innovate. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. We think we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also evolve macro-intuitively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will increase our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to implement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: global, innovative. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to reinvent super-proactively. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry buzzword "robust" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the power to optimize efficiently. Without well-chosen markets, world-class, ubiquitous schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think micro-interactive. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent true! A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Have you ever had to architect your holistic feature set? Free? We think that most robust web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added synergies and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2B". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be value-added? The collaborative performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If you morph interactively, you may have to implement compellingly. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to incentivize efficiently. Without well-chosen world-class R&D, metrics are forced to become B2C. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our transparent networks and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to orchestrate intuitively. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will reintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to transform. We realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to expedite ultra-intra-transparently. Have you ever needed to leverage your real-world feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to enhance extensibly. We will target the term "transparent". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "super-cyber-iteravely"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"?