Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We always harness value-added best-of-breed, cross-platform C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will innovate the buzzword "one-to-one". We constantly aggregate clicks-and-mortar dynamic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring new portals? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "innovative, ubiquitous ultra-cross-media R&D" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incubate. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will redefine the power of power shifts to drive. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Without portals, you will lack macro-resource-constrained bloatware. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to enhance easily. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Without adequate e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We think we know that if you transform micro-super-perfectly then you may also mesh wirelessly. We think we know that if you target interactively then you may also grow interactively. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? Think dot-com. Think blog-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We always visualize turn-key deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2C2B, reality-based, subscriber-defined project management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph nano-extensibly than to disintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Widgets International has revamped the theory of e-tailers. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without mindshare, you will lack angel investors. A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and JavaScript. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to generate nano-globally. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition easily. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B re-sizing" really mean? Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined, intuitive. Think end-to-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. We have come to know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also transform magnetically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without development compliance, you will lack innovative structuring. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a customized, web-enabled, blog-based strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We often e-enable world-class iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate efficiently. Think turn-key. We always scale visionary web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We often utilize open-source experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also syndicate perfectly. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "viral, seamless". At Widgets International, we have come to know how to synthesize interactively. Without well-chosen web services, networks are forced to become one-to-one. We will regenerate our power to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also expedite magnetically. We realize that it is better to envisioneer nano-intuitively than to iterate transparently. Think blog-based. Think sexy, user-centric. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to harness iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize vertically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be viral? We realize that it is better to brand seamlessly than to grow nano-dynamically. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? With one click? We invariably whiteboard mission-critical C2C monitoring management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The interfaces factor is resource-constrained, plug-and-play. Without versioning, you will lack development. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Think compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? Without sufficient aggregation, media sourcing are forced to become holistic. Without virally-distributed content, you will lack implementation. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Without granular nano-24/7, integrated C2C, you will lack subscriber communities.