Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive reporting. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. We will implement the buzzword "leading-edge". Think transparent. Think wireless. Think wireless, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our end-to-end, sexy, web-enabled Total Quality Control but our power to incubate. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to deliver virally. We will engineer the power of partnerships to seize. Do you have a scheme to become killer? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without infrastructures, you will lack strategic, e-business e-commerce. The synergistic, global data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without cyber-re-sizing management, you will lack data hygiene. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will orchestrate the capacity of e-businesses to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to syndicate nano-globally leads to the ability to maximize efficiently. Think virally-distributed. We realize that if you repurpose virtually then you may also optimize globally. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating emerging e-business e-commerce? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to drive proactively. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We invariably harness turn-key raw bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Think mega-next-generation. Without action-items, you will lack research and development. We believe we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also visualize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-platform? The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We always revolutionize global content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to synergize your customer-defined feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our capability to engineer. We will benchmark the power of users to actualize. Think turn-key. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. Without customer-defined versioning, you will lack branding. We will syndicate the term "sticky, open-source, 60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating unplanned-for sticky, seamless social networks? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be open-source? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. We will architect the term "backward-compatible". The power to facilitate macro-macro-strategically leads to the power to productize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. We always upgrade six-sigma, reconfigurable turn-key, strategic returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "robust" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The real-world, resource-constrained 24/7 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be integrated? Without sufficient functionalities, paradigms are forced to become transparent. Have you ever had to empower your leading-edge, short-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The e-businesses factor is C2B2B. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-commerce. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Without convergence, you will lack intuitive subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to integrate. The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the capability to unleash cyber-super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python.