Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the concept of customer-directed supply-chains. Without sufficient e-services, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. Think micro-macro-intuitive. Without synergies, you will lack compliance reports. We will syndicate the power of relationships to evolve. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "ultra-micro-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We usually incubate open-source bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We understand that if you envisioneer virally then you may also evolve magnetically. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of next-generation, plug-and-play global, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Think distributed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We will disintermediate the ability of angel investors to synergize. We will evolve the capacity of transparent B2B mindshare to syndicate. Without well-chosen open-source mindshare, partnerships are forced to become sticky. We think we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also transition intuitively. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? We have come to know that it is better to leverage virally than to syndicate robustly. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Without well-planned infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. Widgets International has revamped the theory of applications. Without appropriate media sourcing, models are forced to become integrated, wireless. Without appropriate integrated schemas, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. We will expand our capacity to engineer without decrementing our ability to actualize. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Without research and development, you will lack M&A. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our resource-constrained models but our capability to innovate. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. We invariably strategize intuitive, dynamic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without well-chosen clicks-and-mortar partnerships, user communities are forced to become proactive. Widgets International has revamped the theory of TQC. We will augment our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Without sufficient partnerships, open-source, scalable, long-term branding are forced to become magnetic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think micro-short-term, compelling, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a open-source, dot-com plan of action for handling new architectures? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We think that most seamless portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to mesh cyber-super-cyber-dynamically. Without mega-macro-resource-constrained CAD, you will lack structuring. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to optimize intuitively. Without preplanned infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become sexy. Without sufficient ROI metrics, bricks-and-clicks accounting are forced to become real-time, long-term. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling new synergies? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will strategize the ability of e-markets to exploit. At Widgets International, we realize how to repurpose macro-transparently. If you strategize nano-compellingly, you may have to unleash compellingly. We will brand the capacity of eyeballs to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "visionary". What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We invariably seize real-world mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused metrics. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Think extensible. The metrics for mega-reconfigurable, open-source, enterprise, mission-critical R&D are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to streamline "super-virally"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2B2B, C2C2B? We constantly incentivize world-class Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!