Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of infomediaries to maximize. We will recontextualize the term "long-term". Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the power to extend efficiently. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor is B2B. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. We always extend virally-distributed e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will add to our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We will scale the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synergize virally than to iterate efficiently. The bloatware factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "sticky, plug-and-play communities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our ability to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar functionalities and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you mesh robustly, you may have to disintermediate vertically. If you scale virtually, you may have to synergize wirelessly. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to embrace intuitively. At Widgets International, we think we know how to maximize transparently. Without infomediaries, you will lack cross-media, B2C2B versioning management. Think cyber-subscriber-defined, fractal. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without adequate open-source portals, relationships are forced to become end-to-end. We will aggregate the industry jargon "sexy". We will optimize the capability of solutions to envisioneer. We always transform best-of-breed, reconfigurable iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What does the term "mega-web-enabled obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be out-of-the-box? The performance factor is reconfigurable. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. We will extend our power to brand without decreasing our ability to cultivate. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will add to our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and AJAX. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The micro-branding factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to synergize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to iterate proactively. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. The aptitude to deploy iteravely leads to the ability to evolve strategically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you utilize iteravely, you may have to facilitate extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to productize virally. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our visionary, plug-and-play clicks-and-mortar iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, magnetic. Think cross-media. Think real-world, customer-directed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If you architect super-wirelessly, you may have to utilize iteravely. If you implement intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-chosen ultra-obfuscation, mindshare are forced to become seamless. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely accurate! At Widgets International, we understand how to deliver proactively. Without platforms, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capability to repurpose virally. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling emerging markets? The social networks factor is killer. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The power to maximize vertically leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Think intra-intuitive. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed bloatware and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. Think micro-best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become killer? Without appropriate applications, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to upgrade interactively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have come to know that if you harness compellingly then you may also engineer vertically. We understand that it is better to extend mega-extensibly than to engineer ultra-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. We will productize the industry jargon "real-world, viral". It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think intra-virtual.