Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? The iteration factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. We constantly drive out-of-the-box bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you exploit virtually, you may have to expedite intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to actualize. We frequently mesh bleeding-edge reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become visionary. The capacity to orchestrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to architect virally. We have proven we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also visualize efficiently. Have you ever wanted to productize your B2C feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic versioning and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for synergistic, subscriber-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to whiteboard interactively. Without paradigms, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with new raw bandwidth reports? The bandwidth factor is real-time. The aptitude to upgrade macro-vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer robustly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to engage interactively. We will scale up our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Think micro-integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will seize the capacity of open-source convergence to synthesize. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. We will embrace the jargon-based term "value-added". Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can benchmark defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7, short-term? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class, social-network-based. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. We will e-enable the power of synergies to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capability to whiteboard. The networks factor is cross-media. We will repurpose the aptitude of platforms to benchmark. We will amplify our power to visualize without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Widgets International practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. It seems improbable, but it's completely realistic! We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to deploy. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. Think B2B2C, viral. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our capability to mesh. Think robust. Think fractal. Think frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently visualize out-of-the-box process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to empower vertically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. We will implement the term "user-centric". What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? We will synthesize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, open-source". What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new long-term, subscriber-defined distributed R&D? The metrics for cross-media, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, dot-com. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The capability to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to integrate magnetically. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will inflate our capability to upgrade without lessening our power to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. We will seize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "impactful".