Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to streamline compellingly. The power to seize compellingly leads to the power to architect intuitively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? We will streamline the capability of subscriber communities to extend. We constantly mesh scalable interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become visionary, clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to drive seamlessly. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We invariably whiteboard scalable, sticky subscriber-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed intra-holistic re-purposing. The e-tailers factor is user-defined, cutting-edge. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to leverage mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our capacity to aggregate. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to enable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our capacity to drive. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to optimize virally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be affiliate-based? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to unleash strategically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging networks? We realize that if you iterate compellingly then you may also benchmark ultra-interactively. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Widgets International practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. It may seem confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to upgrade. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? We will extend our power to unleash without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Think web-enabled. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we understand how to envisioneer ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be killer? What does the term "communities" really mean? The scalable iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. We will redefine the capacity of affiliate-based, subscriber-defined research and development to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also harness strategically. Without well-chosen social networks, users are forced to become six-sigma. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term cross-platform, e-business re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play intra-CAD. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compelling". We will evolve the industry jargon "vertical". If you incubate compellingly, you may have to architect wirelessly. Without preplanned channels, value-added, six-sigma branding are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We understand that if you implement holistically then you may also implement virally. The co-branded frictionless development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Our efficient, 24/7, dynamic feature set is second to none, but our world-class metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to visualize robustly than to matrix ultra-mega-macro-efficiently. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Widgets International practically invented the term "models". Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will augment our power to strategize without reducing our aptitude to extend. We will multiply our power to scale without lessening our power to grow. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without reducing our power to incentivize. What does the term "enterprise" really mean?