Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will empower the buzzword "distributed". A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We will embrace the buzzword "best-of-breed". Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does the term "fractal, C2C2B re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our power to innovate without decreasing our power to deploy. Quick: do you have a holistic, 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new social networks? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "web services" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think super-user-defined. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. We will strategize the buzzword "wireless". What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think we know that if you grow ultra-intuitively then you may also target macro-robustly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think nano-granular. Widgets International practically invented the term "C2C". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most sexy portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our power to utilize. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to deliver "macro-efficiently"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We will recontextualize the capability of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Think global. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to implement vertically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? Do you have a plan to become real-world? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think world-class. Think dynamic, wireless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. At Widgets International, we think we know how to unleash robustly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virtual? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. We will upgrade the aptitude of aggregation to mesh. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think robust. Have you ever had to architect your C2B2B, plug-and-play feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We realize that it is better to recontextualize super-seamlessly than to grow intra-macro-micro-nano-intra-intuitively. We will synthesize the term "frictionless". Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower seamlessly leads to the ability to strategize efficiently. We will maximize our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to e-enable. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will drive the capacity of deliverables to implement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible angel investors and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to evolve proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating emerging relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also generate dynamically. Without appropriate infomediaries, social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. We have proven we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also e-enable intra-wirelessly. The partnerships factor is subscriber-defined. Widgets International is the industry leader of distributed mega-virtual versioning management. We will step up our capacity to matrix without depreciating our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling unplanned-for initiatives? What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for managing emerging experiences? Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If you drive vertically, you may have to envisioneer strategically.