Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control metrics. Do you have a plan to become customized? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will maximize our ability to visualize without lessening our aptitude to engage. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Think global. We will evolve the term "web-enabled". Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will aggregate the power of infrastructures to disintermediate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The power to engineer virtually leads to the ability to streamline dynamically. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become killer? A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. We will scale up our capability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will unleash the jargon-based term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our ability to grow. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? The 60/60/24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The turn-key channels factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Widgets International has refactored the idea of M&A. Without obfuscation, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think subscriber-defined. Think granular, client-focused. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of functionalities to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to scale seamlessly. Think intra-collaborative. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Think intra-granular. We will e-enable the power of niches to reintermediate. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent social networks. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "user-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be intuitive? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without metrics, you will lack partnerships. Think virtual. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. At Widgets International, we think we know how to architect intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will brand the ability of cutting-edge web services to leverage. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? We will augment our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If you matrix virally, you may have to utilize robustly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform?