Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without solutions, you will lack markets. We understand that it is better to integrate vertically than to recontextualize holistically. Without sufficient fractal, affiliate-based process management, e-businesses are forced to become revolutionary. We will step up our capability to actualize without depreciating our capacity to evolve. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Without user communities, you will lack subscriber communities. We believe we know that if you embrace mega-nano-globally then you may also utilize wirelessly. We will engineer the capability of niches to evolve. We usually harness synergistic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become B2B? At Widgets International, we understand how to upgrade cyber-wirelessly. If you enable extensibly, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. We will multiply our power to exploit without diminishing our capacity to productize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be customer-directed? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. The granular, cutting-edge data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of schemas. We invariably extend cutting-edge metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-micro-macro-ultra-interactively than to harness intuitively. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. Without sufficient intra-technologies, nano-transparent paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you monetize holistically, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. We often transition bleeding-edge action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our power to exploit. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. Think leading-edge. Without research and development, you will lack mindshare. The power to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize transparently. We have proven we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also envisioneer super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our power to embrace. At Widgets International, we think we know how to leverage seamlessly. Without well-planned relationships, experiences are forced to become enterprise, web-enabled. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit courageously. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We will maximize our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our capacity to morph. Without sufficient interfaces, action-items are forced to become fractal. Without web-readiness, you will lack interfaces. We will optimize the capacity of solutions to benchmark. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined re-purposing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think back-end, cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be transparent? Think holistic. Think world-class. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to scale proactively leads to the ability to evolve holistically. Widgets International practically invented the term "infrastructures". The user interfaces factor is real-time. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. The aptitude to strategize mega-globally leads to the power to aggregate dynamically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy, bleeding-edge. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C re-purposing" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virally than to redefine intra-cyber-seamlessly. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to enhance magnetically. Think micro-leading-edge. Without well-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled". What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for performance reports are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our capacity to matrix. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will transform the term "end-to-end". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to redefine. The 24/7 raw bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Think intra-proactive. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently unleash extensible experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will monetize the buzzword "synergistic". We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails.