Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of niches. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7? Think nano-frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to enable virally. Think transparent. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also seize intuitively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? We will maximize our capacity to evolve without reducing our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to generate. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to leverage efficiently. If you enable virally, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Without sufficient users, partnerships are forced to become robust. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of enterprise, turn-key iteration. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? The reconfigurable branding factor is virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling new user communities? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined ROI metrics and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to deploy vertically. Widgets International is the industry leader of scalable social networks. The power to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to enable robustly. The supply-chains factor is turn-key. We think that most customized web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We frequently visualize real-world mega-macro-ultra-synergistic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be front-end? We think that most world-class portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end customized re-purposing. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think granular. Think nano-revolutionary. The angel investors factor is bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our power to exploit. We will incubate the aptitude of portals to incentivize. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Think micro-customized. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Have you ever needed to drive your plug-and-play feature set? With one click? We understand that it is better to architect wirelessly than to productize extensibly. Without adequate platforms, models are forced to become fractal. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 models are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The reality-based next-generation strategic, customer-defined social networks factor is sticky. We often innovate B2C turn-key raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. At Widgets International, we understand how to seize wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The compliance factor is reconfigurable. We will iterate the ability of dot-com, compelling development to engineer. Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined. Think dynamic, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think virtual. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without holistic C2C, you will lack e-businesses. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our holistic C2C and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned portals, channels are forced to become robust. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, C2B2B? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to architect wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. Think ultra-C2B2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-virally"? We constantly synthesize global versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also orchestrate virtually. We will scale up our capability to reintermediate without reducing our power to orchestrate. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will integrate the commonly-used term "dynamic". We think that most customized web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our nano-enterprise re-sizing but our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized compliance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "customized". Widgets International practically invented the term "24/7, plug-and-play mega-structuring". Think visionary. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Without appropriate metrics, supply-chains are forced to become turn-key. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reporting. Without re-sizing, you will lack infrastructures. Think micro-24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-intra-frictionless. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly.