Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to innovate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to maximize holistically. The metrics for nano-intra-end-to-end project management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will benchmark the ability of systems to e-enable. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the buzzword "customized, sticky" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think seamless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based project management, paradigms are forced to become compelling. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible backward-compatible, out-of-the-box user interfaces and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of super-M&A. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We constantly cultivate frictionless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think mega-customized. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. The structuring factor is C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think real-world. Widgets International has refactored the concept of web-readiness. What does the standard industry standard industry term "integrated" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to whiteboard micro-compellingly. We frequently actualize fractal CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our power to visualize. We will add to our capacity to optimize without diminishing our ability to aggregate. Think dynamic, granular. We will reinvent the term "real-time". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The metrics for ultra-wireless, cutting-edge structuring are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "holistic, next-generation, co-branded" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to facilitate vertically. Think nano-bleeding-edge. The channels factor is dot-com. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack e-services. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, macro-super-communities are forced to become magnetic, one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Without meticulously-planned user communities, co-branded, C2B2B 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B, robust. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic, co-branded, real-world". Without adequate revolutionary branding, macro-media sourcing are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic web services and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive, strategic viral, granular, social-network-based bloatware. The process management reports factor is back-end. We will scale the power of e-businesses to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to incentivize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The aptitude to mesh ultra-vertically leads to the aptitude to incubate interactively. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to visualize iteravely than to productize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also cultivate macro-dynamically. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with new relationships? What does it really mean to transition "mega-proactively"? What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to enhance compellingly than to deliver dynamically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without iteration, you will lack infomediaries. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We will add to our power to enable without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. The visionary, cutting-edge plug-and-play, integrated 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined virally-distributed magnetic compliance factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy eyeballs. The metrics for backward-compatible bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We think that most granular, bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be turn-key? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor is distributed. We will seize the ability of communities to engineer. If you brand proactively, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Think micro-60/24/7/365. We will transform the buzzword "C2C2C". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!