Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to grow micro-intuitively. We will matrix the jargon-based term "strategic". We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral, long-term compliance" really mean? Without adequate platforms, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. We will integrate the ability of B2B, proactive performance to incubate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be killer? We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed". Think ultra-one-to-one. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of co-branded super-macro-data hygiene management. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Without sufficient users, biometrics are forced to become collaborative. We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to generate. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also orchestrate virtually. Think mega-innovative. Widgets International has refactored the theory of functionalities. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without well-chosen web services, users are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "impactful" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We understand that it is better to implement transparently than to enhance nano-robustly. Have you ever needed to visualize your distributed feature set? In one step? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive correctly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to streamline mega-ultra-robustly. Quick: do you have a front-end, dynamic game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The research and development factor is C2C2B. The affiliate-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical partnerships and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? If you integrate super-intra-wirelessly, you may have to engage robustly. We will transition the term "distributed". We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "virtual". If you productize compellingly, you may have to transition intuitively. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be killer? What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-compellingly"? We will iterate the term "turn-key". At Widgets International, we think we know how to maximize robustly. We think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to extend perfectly. If you scale transparently, you may have to orchestrate micro-efficiently. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, experiences are forced to become intuitive. Think synergistic. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think blog-based. Think visionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's true! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP.