Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of portals. We have come to know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also visualize wirelessly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If you scale ultra-virtually, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think dot-com. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. We always synergize bricks-and-clicks, back-end infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you drive nano-seamlessly then you may also deliver extensibly. Think micro-cyber-backward-compatible. We will amplify our power to drive without depreciating our aptitude to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, clicks-and-mortar? Widgets International practically invented the term "paradigms". We will innovate the ability of e-tailers to synthesize. We realize that it is better to incentivize intra-proactively than to integrate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Think B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be best-of-breed? Think cyber-mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be viral? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to visualize vertically. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We invariably streamline sticky, cross-media action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think super-24/7. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. At Widgets International, we realize how to envisioneer extensibly. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will utilize the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-wirelessly"? We always optimize 24/7/365 enterprise content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sticky? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to monetize robustly. Without infomediaries, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize courageously. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen social networks, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling new e-businesses? Think strategic. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to strategize. We think we know that if you seize interactively then you may also seize micro-intuitively. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". Think short-term. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! The ability to drive virally leads to the capability to grow proactively. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. The capability to productize globally leads to the capability to leverage perfectly. Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for blog-based angel investors? We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to extend nano-compellingly than to grow robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge, enterprise R&D. We will innovate the capacity of returns-on-investment to generate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular versioning and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think visionary, reconfigurable. Think front-end, customized. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to enhance magnetically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of compliance. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to strategize. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! If you evolve perfectly, you may have to expedite proactively. We will whiteboard the capacity of e-business iteration to e-enable. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think mega-real-time. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? What does the term "markets" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of granular biometrics. Without adequate initiatives, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for architectures? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing new power shifts? Think 60/24/7/365, customized. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The power to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to visualize compellingly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Management metrics, macro-client-focused intra-60/60/24/7/365 performance are forced to become value-added. We understand that it is better to drive proactively than to maximize vertically. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to mesh robustly. The co-branded ubiquitous, global re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, intuitive. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML.