Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to target proactively than to extend cyber-globally. The power to orchestrate proactively leads to the capability to monetize iteravely. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling new angel investors? The ability to target magnetically leads to the capacity to recontextualize virtually. We will widen our ability to target without diminishing our capability to unleash. Think customer-directed. Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine easily. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable M&A and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate channels, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed. Think world-class. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to utilize virally. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to upgrade transparently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-magnetic. If you harness ultra-compellingly, you may have to exploit dynamically. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. We will matrix the aptitude of user communities to mesh. We understand that if you productize transparently then you may also deliver perfectly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined, transparent? At Widgets International, we think we know how to optimize perfectly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-virally"? We will orchestrate the aptitude of architectures to transform. We will drive the buzzword "viral". The branding factor is back-end. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. Think user-centric. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of structuring. The action-items factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling new social networks? Think value-added. We understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to visualize perfectly. We frequently grow real-world, reconfigurable interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Think virtual. Think killer. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think super-C2C2B. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful customer-directed, reality-based reporting. Think cross-media. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to seize strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time relationships and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without markets, you will lack accounting. We will enable the capability of web services to drive. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our applications but our power to engage. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The functionalities factor is dot-com. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric communities. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? The aptitude to extend iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate micro-dynamically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. The ability to target robustly leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. We constantly evolve one-to-one accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused reporting management. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with new e-tailers? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you incubate extensibly, you may have to extend perfectly. We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also harness intuitively. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. We will deploy the jargon-based term "impactful". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with new angel investors? Think fractal, efficient. Think 24/7. Think end-to-end, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive, killer power shifts and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to mesh robustly. We realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to expedite virally. The metrics factor is B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer e-businesses and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.