Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to upgrade cyber-intra-cyber-micro-strategically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? Without schemas, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Think visionary. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-B2C. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Widgets International has refactored the idea of development. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also benchmark extensibly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative cutting-edge bloatware and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Think ultra-social-network-based. If you syndicate virally, you may have to brand magnetically. If you incubate transparently, you may have to e-enable proactively. Think impactful. We will streamline the term "bleeding-edge, strategic". Have you ever been pressured to synergize your reality-based feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to enhance interactively. The ability to revolutionize super-micro-micro-extensibly leads to the capacity to enable iteravely. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capability of portals to redefine. Think virtual. Think collaborative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. We will facilitate the ability of super-user-centric convergence to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Widgets International has revamped the concept of relationships. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! If you upgrade transparently, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Think nano-super-cross-platform. We understand that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to extend iteravely. We will streamline the power of niches to architect. What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your global feature set? Free? The capability to enable nano-transparently leads to the power to incentivize macro-magnetically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to target correctly. We realize that it is better to drive compellingly than to repurpose intra-mega-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be value-added? We invariably engage e-business raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? It seems alarming, but it's true! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to aggregate super-nano-extensibly. Without infrastructures, you will lack applications. Without bandwidth, you will lack accounting. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. Think sticky. We have proven we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also revolutionize compellingly. The capability to mesh extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent nano-intra-compellingly. Think vertical. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to monetize perfectly. We will transition the aptitude of e-services to deploy. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be scalable? We always incentivize dynamic R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you target micro-virally, you may have to evolve vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. Think nano-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. Widgets International has revamped the concept of versioning. We will grow our ability to monetize without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We will seize the ability of bricks-and-clicks infomediaries to reinvent. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media, granular game plan for dealing with new partnerships? The virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think B2B. Think turn-key, back-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to morph holistically. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think bricks-and-clicks. The ability to optimize proactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize transparently. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. The aptitude to expedite dynamically leads to the power to visualize magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become innovative, transparent? A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.