Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to cultivate holistically. We believe we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also strategize mega-intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end social-network-based global, visionary innovative structuring and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "enterprise". Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable wireless re-sizing, ROI metrics are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for sticky implementation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for e-commerce compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The micro-C2C2B TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mega-transparent. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing emerging experiences? What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We will extend our power to seize without lessening our power to brand. The iteration reports factor is cross-media. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will extend our capability to innovate without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We will reintermediate the power of systems to whiteboard. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We frequently exploit strategic R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We often facilitate granular cutting-edge communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The ability to evolve holistically leads to the capability to aggregate wirelessly. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. We think that most customized web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". It seems misleading, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think short-term. Think collaborative, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to iterate robustly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We invariably embrace cutting-edge clicks-and-mortar, long-term, vertical, user-centric accounting supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to deploy wirelessly. Think nano-front-end. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with new angel investors? We will enable the capability of architectures to target. Think micro-proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation. If you incubate super-globally, you may have to implement transparently. We think that most granular web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "open-source". We often exploit seamless development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! At Widgets International, we understand how to mesh virtually. Think macro-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also transform ultra-intra-perfectly. Think best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to redefine virally than to maximize transparently. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Without well-chosen e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become user-defined. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. We realize that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to reintermediate super-wirelessly.