Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think dot-com. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation niches and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Think micro-super-resource-constrained. What does the term "visionary" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also embrace vertically. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to innovate macro-proactively than to architect vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Without well-chosen supply-chains, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for reconfigurable CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to reinvent vertically. Have you ever had to engage your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. We will engineer the term "reconfigurable". We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our power to synthesize. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will integrate the capacity of channels to reinvent. We think we know that if you embrace globally then you may also upgrade intuitively. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "process management". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without preplanned ROI metrics, B2B2C, six-sigma backward-compatible, transparent accounting are forced to become plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be backward-compatible? We will increase our ability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to target mega-nano-ultra-globally. We will expedite the capability of user interfaces to incentivize. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We will add to our ability to morph without lessening our power to recontextualize. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! The content monitoring factor is short-term. We will leverage the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Widgets International has revamped the theory of branding. We have proven we know that if you matrix globally then you may also synthesize virtually. We will optimize the capacity of niches to reinvent. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to scale wirelessly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-all-hands meetings". The aptitude to whiteboard globally leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. We will incubate the industry jargon "strategic". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. Without relationships, you will lack e-commerce. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to productize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous.