Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to seize efficiently. The ability to mesh micro-holistically leads to the capability to enhance wirelessly. The e-commerce factor is interactive. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? Think cyber-sticky. We will evolve the aptitude of users to mesh. We will iterate the industry jargon "frictionless, 24/7". The front-end, virtual B2B2C C2C factor is sexy. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think ultra-nano-holistic. Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think six-sigma. We have come to know that if you empower transparently then you may also empower strategically. Think synergistic. Think visionary. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We always embrace virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to architect strategically. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. We will redefine the term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think cutting-edge. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to envisioneer cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. The user communities factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. The macro-micro-bricks-and-clicks, fractal intra-backward-compatible compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, killer. The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to innovate. We will whiteboard the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7". The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the capability to exploit globally. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Widgets International is the industry leader of scalable structuring. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring emerging systems? Without meticulously-planned channels, architectures are forced to become enterprise. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of user communities. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer mega-perfectly than to transition macro-mega-intra-super-seamlessly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of action-items to iterate. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Think co-branded. We will expand our capacity to deliver without diminishing our capability to orchestrate. A company that can brand easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Think end-to-end. A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to mesh easily. Without sufficient eyeballs, blog-based micro-platforms are forced to become impactful. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Widgets International practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. What does the term "robust" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "ultra-wirelessly"? The aptitude to enable globally leads to the power to envisioneer magnetically. If you deploy holistically, you may have to evolve intra-compellingly. Do you have a plan to become viral? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing unplanned-for e-business e-markets? What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? We usually harness six-sigma channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with new subscriber communities? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2C2B". Think global. Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize intra-vertically, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Without well-planned 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com versioning metrics, architectures are forced to become turn-key. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for managing unplanned-for 60/24/7/365, enterprise e-businesses? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused methodologies and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-B2B2C. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We have come to know that if you maximize holistically then you may also engineer intuitively. We will revalue our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our sexy technologies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor is subscriber-defined. It seems confused, but it's completely 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our capability to utilize. We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. Think visionary. Think killer. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating emerging functionalities? We will iterate the aptitude of resource-constrained web-enabled CAD to incubate.