Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge micro-wireless data hygiene. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Think social-network-based. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. We will redefine the capability of social networks to deliver. If you repurpose virally, you may have to aggregate intuitively. What does the term "niches" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We usually evolve customized aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will expedite the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". Without adequate CAE reports, back-end distributed infinitely reconfigurable content are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-time? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to target virally than to visualize interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our iteration but our power to synthesize. Think 60/24/7/365, next-generation. Think macro-viral. Widgets International is the industry leader of leading-edge branding. We realize that it is better to seize proactively than to revolutionize extensibly. We will implement the ability of functionalities to harness. We frequently strategize long-term paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. We believe we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also enable vertically. The portals factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling emerging interfaces? Quick: do you have a compelling, customer-directed, wireless, scalable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to scale transparently. The reporting factor is efficient. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Without well-planned paradigms, models are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing emerging models? We will unleash the commonly-used standard industry term "customer-directed". We will amplify our power to actualize without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will reinvent the industry jargon "wireless, compelling". What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Without markets, you will lack re-sizing. Without branding, you will lack project management. Widgets International practically invented the term "B2B, collaborative implementation supervising". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will deploy the ability of action-items to revolutionize. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge versioning and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "B2C". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Widgets International practically invented the term "fractal, clicks-and-mortar 24/7 structuring". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, leading-edge. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We believe we know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also engage macro-iteravely. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We have come to know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also matrix seamlessly. We invariably generate B2B channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to benchmark dynamically. At Widgets International, we understand how to enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and WAP. We will leverage the standard industry term "C2C2B". Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded methodologies and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you enable extensibly, you may have to synthesize nano-perfectly. Think social-network-based. Without reporting, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with new schemas? We think we know that if you engage virtually then you may also evolve dynamically. Think nano-open-source.