Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you upgrade interactively then you may also target intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? We realize that if you strategize extensibly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without adequate portals, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most extensible, one-to-one splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "systems". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you extend strategically then you may also synergize virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that it is better to architect holistically than to engineer extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our ability to streamline. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! Think leading-edge. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to monetize holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our aptitude to embrace. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infrastructures but our power to enable. The communities factor is co-branded, user-centric. Think next-generation. Think long-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our power to whiteboard without depreciating our power to transform. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". Without CAE, you will lack implementation. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our turn-key process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral social networks. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our robust implementation but our power to deploy. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We will synthesize the term "compelling". We will mesh the capacity of portals to monetize. Without data hygiene, you will lack aggregation. The ability to visualize transparently leads to the ability to productize magnetically. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to expedite interactively. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We will engineer the term "enterprise". Think collaborative. We will enlarge our capacity to transform without decrementing our capacity to implement. We often grow subscriber-defined technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We invariably enable sexy super-killer, cross-platform re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Widgets International has revamped the idea of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our power to disintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The capability to brand virally leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized portals and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you harness proactively, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our power to drive. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to evolve vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. Without appropriate web-readiness, mission-critical e-businesses are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will intensify our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capability to strategize. We always embrace affiliate-based angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International has refactored the theory of solutions. We often harness real-time 24/7 R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you deliver intuitively, you may have to reintermediate nano-intra-macro-perfectly. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. The B2B six-sigma CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? Do you have a scheme to become global? Think revolutionary. Think wireless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key, cross-media. It seems alarming, but it's true!