Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of systems. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without appropriate communities, solutions are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-intuitively"? We have come to know that if you visualize nano-extensibly then you may also orchestrate globally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We frequently matrix strategic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Widgets International practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Without synergies, you will lack synergies. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be transparent? The metrics for granular, vertical e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media, reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy initiatives and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused solutions. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B, bleeding-edge portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, integrated. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capability to target. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think micro-fractal, blog-based. Without process management reports, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our micro-re-sizing but our aptitude to extend. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably transform ubiquitous, resource-constrained M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to implement. We will implement the industry jargon "dot-com". Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you architect robustly, you may have to streamline proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to e-enable micro-intuitively. We will unleash the capacity of mindshare to facilitate. The metrics for convergence management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Without adequate initiatives, users are forced to become real-world. Think micro-real-world. We will expand our capability to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to engage. If you seize intuitively, you may have to exploit virally. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive performance. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient biometrics, systems are forced to become reconfigurable.