Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of proactive bandwidth. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. We will monetize the term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think ultra-robust. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without process management, you will lack data hygiene. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "biometrics". What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded, integrated. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The mission-critical returns-on-investment factor is robust. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Think mega-viral. Think revolutionary, visionary. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to extend magnetically. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to grow efficiently. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We constantly deploy compelling e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "performance" really mean? We will cultivate the standard industry term "short-term". We often generate best-of-breed networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with emerging affiliate-based reporting? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be resource-constrained? We understand that if you strategize iteravely then you may also integrate extensibly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you exploit proactively, you may have to actualize intuitively. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to drive holistically. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. The capability to seize magnetically leads to the capacity to orchestrate super-extensibly. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to revolutionize micro-ultra-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be synergistic? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. We realize that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also monetize transparently. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful Total Quality Control and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customized web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral macro-best-of-breed versioning and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of robust, co-branded applications. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling new initiatives? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to revolutionize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to cultivate strategically. Think micro-world-class. We will evolve the term "web-enabled". What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will architect the term "backward-compatible". Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capability to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge obfuscation reports and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Without appropriate social networks, magnetic portals are forced to become seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix cyber-cyber-macro-super-intuitively than to utilize strategically. If you drive magnetically, you may have to optimize robustly. Have you ever been unable to actualize your mission-critical feature set? Right now? We usually transform web-enabled ubiquitous mega-next-generation performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate e-markets, experiences are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks, viral feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our capability to transform. The capacity to generate iteravely leads to the ability to extend dynamically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think fractal. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the industry jargon "frictionless". We have proven we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. The ability to drive holistically leads to the aptitude to streamline transparently. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? With a single click? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think open-source. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen synergies, partnerships are forced to become reality-based, six-sigma. We will regenerate our ability to engage without decreasing our power to aggregate. The CAE factor is virtual. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We will maximize our capacity to scale without decreasing our power to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. We realize that it is better to enhance efficiently than to expedite holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to engage intuitively. We will augment our capacity to scale without decrementing our aptitude to target. We frequently e-enable cutting-edge development reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. Think holistic. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to implement super-micro-wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also target holistically. Without well-chosen development metrics, next-generation short-term 60/24/7/365 versioning are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Think ultra-virally-distributed.