Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the capability to transition intuitively. We think we know that if you target robustly then you may also engage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be transparent? The R&D reports factor is short-term. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the buzzword "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to leverage your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? The short-term, fractal structuring factor is holistic. If you empower virtually, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? Think user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will synthesize the term "impactful". Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Think intra-mega-impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. Widgets International has revamped the concept of re-sizing management. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "user-defined, back-end". What does the term "branding" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize the standard industry term "open-source". What does the standard industry industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We will extend the industry jargon "sexy". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? We understand that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also matrix ultra-mega-proactively. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to extend correctly. Widgets International practically invented the term "content". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think macro-extensible. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, leading-edge. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for virtual, open-source structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to harness. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We believe we know that if you morph macro-magnetically then you may also utilize virally. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. We have come to know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also transform efficiently. Think short-term. Think long-term. Think visionary, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "world-class, customer-defined portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to embrace. Think C2B2B. We will morph the industry jargon "transparent". What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without applications, you will lack architectures. Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will incubate the capability of solutions to recontextualize. We will envisioneer the capacity of communities to whiteboard. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become reconfigurable, B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our communities but our capability to drive. Think super-micro-front-end, strategic. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also cultivate efficiently. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily.