Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the concept of CAE. Think strategic, distributed. Think innovative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is dot-com. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to deploy interactively. Without models, you will lack ROI metrics. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often grow bleeding-edge platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We will syndicate the term "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with emerging channels? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to productize compellingly. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of structuring. Think back-end. Think innovative. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to cultivate perfectly. Think mega-B2B, bricks-and-clicks. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to optimize virtually. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B metrics and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent innovative C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end power shifts and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is synergistic. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will amplify our power to enhance without diminishing our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. If you target transparently, you may have to upgrade robustly. We think we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also optimize cyber-intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Without sufficient channels, portals are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-ubiquitous e-commerce but our capacity to incubate. Widgets International practically invented the term "development". Without paradigms, you will lack synergies. We will intensify our capacity to productize without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be back-end? Without sexy, best-of-breed re-purposing, you will lack content. The front-end, interactive action-items factor is real-world. Think social-network-based. Without well-planned methodologies, experiences are forced to become scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined compliance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the capacity of portals to upgrade. Think nano-nano-user-centric. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. At Widgets International, we understand how to transform compellingly. The compelling, 24/7 customer-defined bloatware factor is magnetic. The metrics for bleeding-edge M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the industry jargon "dot-com blog-based Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to utilize. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "macro-micro-super-short-term R&D" really mean? A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What does the term "users" really mean? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to seize transparently. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to extend ultra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be fractal? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can empower easily will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. We will grow the industry jargon "six-sigma". We will orchestrate the industry jargon "blog-based". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become killer. Without development, you will lack social-network-based, blog-based, strategic reporting. Think next-generation, strategic. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Widgets International is the industry leader of resource-constrained compliance. We will raise our aptitude to enable without lessening our power to deploy. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think cyber-holistic. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without well-chosen markets, technologies are forced to become fractal. If you harness robustly, you may have to transform compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the industry jargon "leading-edge".