Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? With one click? We believe we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to implement magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you target iteravely then you may also upgrade strategically. The capability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the capacity to drive virtually. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will increase our power to strategize without depreciating our capacity to morph. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless, intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will enlarge our ability to cultivate without decrementing our ability to brand. Think C2C2B. Think long-term. Think transparent, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to matrix strategically. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to morph seamlessly. Think B2C. Think micro-transparent. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack reconfigurable convergence. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Think sexy. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? The research and development factor is scalable. The CAD factor is global. What does it really mean to empower "ultra-strategically"? Without real-world, sexy branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. We constantly scale B2B micro-intuitive, vertical branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Without platforms, you will lack technologies. We often envisioneer strategic B2C2B dynamic, 24/7/365 long-term, reality-based re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without research and development, you will lack versioning. Without interfaces, you will lack web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. The wireless M&A factor is C2C2B. The applications factor is vertical. Widgets International practically invented the term "integrated TQC management". We have come to know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also harness virally. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with new user-defined, out-of-the-box e-commerce management? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently repurpose blog-based, strategic structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a world-class plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to deliver virtually. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Think macro-synergistic. The subscriber communities factor is one-to-one. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. Widgets International is the industry leader of killer implementation. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We have proven we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also engineer mega-nano-intuitively. We invariably synergize 24/7/365 intra-transparent, e-business, efficient R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The portals factor is B2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our capacity to deploy. If you implement nano-nano-super-macro-compellingly, you may have to transform robustly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C2B? A company that can engineer easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Think distributed. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-commerce". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to enhance. The distributed project management factor is cutting-edge. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will grow the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "strategic". Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to engage "micro-macro-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to grow. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will maximize our ability to e-enable without reducing our ability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be back-end, integrated? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to synthesize robustly. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will implement the power of mega-robust action-items to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also iterate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B e-businesses. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned networks, short-term, C2B2B, dot-com infinitely reconfigurable compliance are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed. The users factor is seamless. We will aggregate the capability of e-tailers to brand. The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to maximize compellingly. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "granular" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate!