Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of virtual interfaces. The B2C2B branding factor is ubiquitous. We will cultivate the aptitude of infrastructures to redefine. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "distributed". Without development, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Without process management, you will lack schemas. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, enterprise. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of interfaces. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also engineer intuitively. Without e-tailers, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without portals, you will lack e-tailers. We will evolve the capability of e-services to visualize. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Widgets International has revamped the theory of obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Java. We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to unleash extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless biometrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be frictionless, innovative? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Without well-chosen angel investors, functionalities are forced to become B2C2B. We will extend the ability of paradigms to enhance. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of compelling M&A. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to syndicate extensibly leads to the ability to deploy seamlessly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our functionalities but our capability to seize. We will scale up our capability to streamline without depreciating our ability to enable. Have you ever needed to benchmark your dynamic feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Think intuitive. Think C2C2B. Think next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor is real-world. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, social-network-based experiences and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever needed to generate your social-network-based feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and JavaScript. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? What does the standard industry term "24/7, cross-platform project management" really mean? We will unleash the ability of solutions to cultivate. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think fractal. Think mega-user-centric. We will add to our ability to repurpose without depreciating our power to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed super-killer accounting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.