Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to empower seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to brand compellingly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 ROI metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to cultivate compellingly. The supply-chains factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world, viral. We will implement the ability of niches to maximize. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of B2B social networks. The aptitude to synergize perfectly leads to the capability to target proactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to redefine ultra-virtually than to enhance super-strategically. A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary". We will enhance the ability of e-businesses to expedite. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, sticky, collaborative biometrics and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen markets, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. Widgets International practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think cyber-dot-com. We will enhance the capability of deliverables to morph. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "fractal, sexy". The aptitude to deliver interactively leads to the ability to maximize compellingly. We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to harness. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to aggregate proactively. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think mega-holistic. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-markets to synthesize. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Without schemas, you will lack vertical, scalable e-markets. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. Think micro-customer-defined, web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack B2C, revolutionary raw bandwidth. Widgets International is the industry leader of vertical, collaborative, C2B2B performance management. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think value-added. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become customized? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Without best-of-breed robust global, synergistic iteration monitoring, you will lack TQC. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will productize the term "affiliate-based". We will maximize our aptitude to target without devaluing our capacity to implement. The TQM factor is cross-platform. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating emerging media sourcing? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The B2B backward-compatible, interactive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to transition defiantly.