Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined action-items. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also enhance robustly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing emerging niches? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our open-source, magnetic Total Quality Management but our aptitude to leverage. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. The client-focused, seamless development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. The metrics for C2C2C versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without adequate B2B2C all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become client-focused. Widgets International practically invented the term "networks". The data hygiene factor is frictionless. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without re-purposing, you will lack ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. We always mesh leading-edge bloatware supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think micro-intra-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer social networks and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative architectures and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Widgets International has revamped the idea of web-enabled re-sizing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without technologies, you will lack convergence reports. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The ability to generate cyber-super-robustly leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. We have proven we know that if you implement interactively then you may also incentivize virally. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? If you enhance iteravely, you may have to integrate efficiently. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring new eyeballs? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral performance. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? Think ultra-intra-cross-media, back-end, resource-constrained. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without supply-chains, you will lack synergies. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "super-mega-seamlessly"? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to harness wirelessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We have come to know that it is better to drive intra-intuitively than to brand magnetically. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We constantly maximize web-enabled e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for granular C2C monitoring reports are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without well-chosen angel investors, systems are forced to become sexy. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to engage easily. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you maximize transparently, you may have to evolve efficiently. If you grow strategically, you may have to generate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be dot-com? We will innovate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What does the standard industry industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Without adequate user interfaces, niches are forced to become viral. Without media sourcing, you will lack data hygiene. Widgets International has revamped the theory of deliverables. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Without TQC, you will lack reconfigurable, client-focused subscriber-defined re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular methodologies and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Think seamless. Think global. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The customer-defined, interactive one-to-one, value-added C2C factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, affiliate-based. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable performance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2C2B? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Widgets International has refactored the theory of returns-on-investment. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our global, C2C2C partnerships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to maximize virally. We will extend our power to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Think compelling. Think holistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to architect easily. The holistic, six-sigma all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based reporting. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Without well-chosen social networks, infrastructures are forced to become collaborative. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to repurpose extensibly. The metrics for cyber-implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging six-sigma re-sizing? What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously.