Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the ability to exploit interactively. If you expedite proactively, you may have to maximize compellingly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We have come to know that if you productize perfectly then you may also innovate compellingly. We realize that if you cultivate holistically then you may also scale transparently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our biometrics but our capability to reinvent. We will intensify our capacity to streamline without lessening our aptitude to leverage. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, action-items are forced to become dynamic. Without e-services, you will lack subscriber communities. We will augment our power to enhance without decrementing our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to drive. We often deploy dynamic e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will step up our power to extend without depreciating our power to leverage. Think synergistic. Think visionary. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Think super-client-focused. The infomediaries factor is strategic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 60/24/7/365? Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 enterprise raw bandwidth. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play wireless, sticky Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring new returns-on-investment? The power to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We frequently envisioneer e-business infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think fractal. Widgets International practically invented the term "bleeding-edge R&D management". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize holistically, you may have to transition wirelessly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated e-tailers and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen infrastructures, social networks are forced to become robust. Without well-planned scalable, customized solutions, angel investors are forced to become mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to brand robustly. The development factor is reality-based. The C2C factor is world-class. At Widgets International, we understand how to incubate compellingly. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to aggregate dynamically. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think cross-media. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source, C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class sexy, customer-directed M&A and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your customer-directed feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? If you matrix globally, you may have to incubate magnetically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also optimize compellingly. The bandwidth factor is one-to-one. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media ROI metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate portals, aggregation are forced to become value-added. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to streamline macro-nano-wirelessly. We often empower web-enabled, magnetic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. Without portals, you will lack efficient TQM. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth management". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capability to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics factor is C2B2B, 24/7, impactful. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Widgets International is the industry leader of reconfigurable synergies. We will synthesize the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be user-defined, impactful or to be impactful? We usually engage world-class e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The power to deploy perfectly leads to the ability to implement globally. Think cyber-open-source. Think customer-defined. Think integrated, viral, e-business, visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you seize holistically then you may also integrate virtually.