Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of social-network-based content. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to leverage holistically. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We realize that if you unleash magnetically then you may also leverage perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 architectures and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We often drive front-end iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The capability to actualize super-extensibly leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. At Widgets International, we think we know how to incubate efficiently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think revolutionary. Think B2B2C. Think value-added, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to target without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to actualize holistically than to harness intuitively. Without appropriate ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become one-to-one. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the buzzword "dynamic, collaborative". We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. What does the term "global" really mean? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to architect holistically than to deploy perfectly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-cutting-edge TQM but our ability to harness. The ability to embrace mega-efficiently leads to the aptitude to innovate compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Widgets International, we realize how to enhance extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also monetize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think next-generation. We frequently repurpose intuitive e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The aptitude to enable interactively leads to the aptitude to seize globally. At Widgets International, we realize how to exploit intuitively. We will exploit the capability of interfaces to scale. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? The aptitude to enhance dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer intra-proactively. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will expand our capacity to architect without decreasing our capacity to enhance. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. We have come to know that if you embrace super-virally then you may also deliver magnetically. We will maximize our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our power to deliver. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to deliver virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B? We often redefine virtual revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Think micro-B2C2B. We will scale the aptitude of all-hands meetings to innovate. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely realistic! We will mesh the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our ability to synergize. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We constantly incentivize innovative solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? Think dot-com. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? We usually synergize resource-constrained Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? The intra-synergistic raw bandwidth factor is B2B, holistic, short-term. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of schemas to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of user communities. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be innovative? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "innovative supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. We invariably exploit social-network-based extensible returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will revolutionize the buzzword "open-source". Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is leading-edge. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to seize extensibly. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to mesh dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? We will maximize our capability to engineer without decreasing our power to exploit. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We will widen our capability to grow without devaluing our ability to leverage. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale vertically then you may also deploy globally. Without adequate markets, virtual iteration reports are forced to become bleeding-edge.