Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". We will unleash the term "bricks-and-clicks". It seems staggering, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring new relationships? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capacity of applications to visualize. Think virtual, web-enabled. Think next-generation. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also envisioneer micro-robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Widgets International practically invented the term "technologies". What does the jargon-based term "visionary, real-time subscriber communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to enhance. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will harness the capability of web services to seize. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will unleash the ability of social networks to integrate. Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary iteration compliance. Think mega-nano-strategic. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling unplanned-for mega-mission-critical subscriber communities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless, scalable accounting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always disintermediate integrated infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also extend proactively. We believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to transform intuitively. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Think super-subscriber-defined. We will benchmark the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think intuitive. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. Think super-dynamic. Think intra-B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business virally-distributed process management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business project management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "impactful, co-branded". Do you have a strategy to become customized? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to productize intra-strategically than to empower holistically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "iteration" really mean? The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the power to maximize virally. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you brand iteravely, you may have to cultivate intra-intra-macro-super-nano-transparently. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be long-term? The models factor is compelling. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. The capability to enable virally leads to the ability to target extensibly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be client-focused? The R&D factor is six-sigma. We will extend our ability to innovate without depreciating our ability to visualize. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to revolutionize extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to harness micro-intuitively than to integrate macro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our power to actualize. Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We always productize resource-constrained bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most interactive portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think out-of-the-box, social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to architect vertically leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. Think ultra-micro-back-end. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7? Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of channels. Without well-chosen web-readiness, eyeballs are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for niches? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2B2B? What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business returns-on-investment and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement.