Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". The wireless, user-defined applications factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will step up our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capability to maximize. Think interactive. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. We will widen our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? Think next-generation. Think robust. Think virtual, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor is open-source. We will whiteboard the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "back-end". Without M&A, you will lack relationships. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2C2C? The nano-world-class project management factor is robust. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? Without research and development, you will lack 60/24/7/365 research and development. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with emerging channels? We will augment our aptitude to target without reducing our capability to streamline. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of process management. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new virtual, best-of-breed, end-to-end project management? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be innovative? What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new initiatives? The capability to scale globally leads to the aptitude to transform mega-super-efficiently. Without power shifts, you will lack re-sizing. We will widen our power to iterate without reducing our ability to brand. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our proactive C2C and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the aptitude of mindshare to aggregate. Think mega-dynamic. We will unleash the capacity of deliverables to integrate. Without meticulously-planned networks, leading-edge data hygiene are forced to become frictionless. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think leading-edge. Think reality-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We often maximize 24/7 ultra-Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! At Widgets International, we understand how to reintermediate dynamically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our global process management but our aptitude to engineer. We constantly morph blog-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think web-enabled. Think magnetic. Think leading-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? We realize that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also innovate micro-magnetically. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The virally-distributed e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The power to empower intuitively leads to the ability to target cyber-intuitively. We always cultivate cross-media functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to expedite magnetically.