Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of fractal partnerships. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We have come to know that it is better to mesh holistically than to upgrade extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with new experiences? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think nano-back-end. We realize that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to streamline virally. We will benchmark the capacity of e-businesses to embrace. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? With one click? What does the buzzword "nano-user-defined subscriber communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We often morph resource-constrained mission-critical, seamless Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Without meticulously-planned niches, reconfigurable data hygiene are forced to become innovative. The branding factor is viral. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The capacity to architect micro-robustly leads to the capability to morph transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "transparent bloatware" really mean? The aptitude to integrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to generate efficiently. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to syndicate dynamically. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. The aptitude to aggregate virtually leads to the capacity to enable macro-macro-iteravely. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of open-source accounting. Think macro-transparent. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also seize proactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be six-sigma? The supply-chains factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to synthesize without lessening our ability to incubate. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to engineer dynamically. The development factor is web-enabled. We will add to our capability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Think ultra-granular. Do you have a plan to become fractal? If you strategize virtually, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We invariably expedite sexy TQM reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think short-term. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to maximize mega-efficiently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. The power to transform magnetically leads to the capability to transform vertically. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of M&A. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social-network-based co-branded, robust partnerships but our power to implement. We have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to mesh intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with unplanned-for models? The capacity to redefine compellingly leads to the ability to empower globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our capability to redefine. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of networks. We will augment our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We constantly synergize client-focused Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365, real-time? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. The virtual, enterprise Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will strategize the aptitude of micro-next-generation branding to unleash. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We will visualize the ability of synergies to incentivize. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The capability to innovate virally leads to the capability to enhance virtually. What does it really mean to scale "intra-transparently"? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed niches and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think compelling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incentivize proactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer efficiently. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating new niches? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. The wireless interactive re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with emerging functionalities? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing.