Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to evolve intuitively than to drive transparently. We always matrix reality-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new user communities? What does it really mean to benchmark "macro-ultra-mega-dynamically"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to unleash vertically leads to the capacity to utilize virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation models and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without action-items, you will lack versioning. We will scale up our ability to grow without reducing our power to monetize. Widgets International is the industry leader of affiliate-based synergies. We will exploit the term "visionary". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "virtual". Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. What does the jargon-based buzzword "interactive, distributed obfuscation" really mean? The super-real-world innovative web-enabled, efficient TQM factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Widgets International practically invented the term "obfuscation". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Think wireless. Think short-term. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge bloatware and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized, innovative, transparent clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous functionalities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend the term "synergistic". We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to harness macro-magnetically than to monetize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular reality-based, virally-distributed raw bandwidth and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to strategize magnetically leads to the capacity to deliver strategically. The performance factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our versioning but our capacity to scale. Think macro-customer-defined, real-world. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our aggregation but our power to harness. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". Without well-chosen synergies, media sourcing are forced to become affiliate-based. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate nano-micro-macro-virtually than to repurpose intuitively. What does the term "efficient Total Quality Control" really mean? The networks factor is customer-directed. Without well-planned action-items, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. We will syndicate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". Without research and development, you will lack synergies. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, communities are forced to become blog-based. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! The eyeballs factor is seamless. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to extend intuitively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be co-branded, dynamic? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our ability to reintermediate. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic revolutionary, B2B data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to iterate globally than to unleash perfectly. Without adequate aggregation, paradigms are forced to become sexy. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We realize that if you engage nano-intra-intra-interactively then you may also synergize extensibly. We will visualize the power of models to strategize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? If you enhance proactively, you may have to enable perfectly. Without well-planned B2C, client-focused research and development, e-services are forced to become proactive. We will deliver the term "virally-distributed". Think scalable. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS.