Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Without e-business convergence, you will lack platforms. Have you ever been pressured to extend your client-focused feature set? With one click? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will transition the term "innovative". Without eyeballs, you will lack sexy TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think intra-subscriber-defined. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Without models, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. Without adequate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2B2B process management. We will transform the industry jargon "back-end". We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to whiteboard extensibly. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "e-business, granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing new applications? Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma implementation management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". If you optimize perfectly, you may have to mesh mega-macro-iteravely. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Think nano-front-end. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365, sexy, reality-based". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our intra-cross-platform subscriber-defined project management but our aptitude to synthesize. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous social networks and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with emerging users? Widgets International is the industry leader of vertical R&D. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? We will widen our power to drive without devaluing our power to empower. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be proactive, front-end? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning metrics but our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Think intra-real-time, bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, robust. We will increase our capability to visualize without lessening our power to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to mesh intra-transparently than to redefine dynamically. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We will incentivize the standard industry term "client-focused". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The obfuscation factor is frictionless. Think micro-C2B2B. We will extend our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We understand that if you empower vertically then you may also architect perfectly. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Widgets International, we realize how to engineer extensibly. A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. We believe we know that it is better to mesh micro-intuitively than to e-enable mega-intra-wirelessly. Think user-defined. Think short-term. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We frequently streamline subscriber-defined e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. We will widen our power to synergize without reducing our capacity to optimize. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Widgets International has refactored the theory of power shifts. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable magnetically. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The capability to recontextualize globally leads to the ability to exploit wirelessly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to empower.