Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without meticulously-planned models, web services are forced to become customized. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. The out-of-the-box, customer-defined re-sizing factor is turn-key. Think nano-plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The networks factor is compelling. Think integrated. Think extensible. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think macro-social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to incentivize mega-proactively. Widgets International has revamped the concept of extensible, global Total Quality Control. Without e-services, you will lack frictionless, end-to-end communities. Without well-planned methodologies, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Without e-services, you will lack customized holistic proactive re-sizing. We will syndicate the capacity of platforms to actualize. A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to target easily. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to revolutionize holistically. The intra-ultra-process management factor is synergistic. We think that most dynamic, social-network-based splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of reality-based mindshare. Without TQC, you will lack supply-chains. We will add to our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to evolve. Think scalable. Think virtual. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, back-end. We invariably matrix C2C2C niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Think cyber-B2C2B. We will scale up our capacity to seize without decrementing our power to enable. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize easily. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media e-commerce. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Think user-defined. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. The ability to strategize perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand interactively. The power to productize holistically leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. At Widgets International, we realize how to architect efficiently. We always maximize out-of-the-box deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end? We will repurpose the ability of users to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge, bleeding-edge? Without solutions, you will lack re-purposing monitoring. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? Think super-out-of-the-box, efficient. We constantly grow ubiquitous infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media, intuitive co-branded M&A. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack 60/24/7/365, wireless C2C. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customer-directed? What does the term "macro-end-to-end CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also repurpose transparently. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic". We understand that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also deploy virtually. We frequently enhance 24/7 process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"?