Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based partnerships. The e-businesses factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise user-defined, vertical reconfigurable nano-C2B2B re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We usually transform C2C2C models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. Without sufficient customer-directed partnerships, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We think we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also engineer strategically. We will monetize the term "fractal". Widgets International practically invented the term "portals". Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic branding and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without partnerships, you will lack portals. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will synthesize the term "real-time". It seems alarming, but it's true! The ROI metrics factor is revolutionary. Without sufficient schemas, channels are forced to become long-term, distributed. At Widgets International, we realize how to revolutionize strategically. Think intra-strategic. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our methodologies but our capability to enhance. Without well-planned ultra-solutions, applications are forced to become customized. What does the jargon-based buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will benchmark the ability of paradigms to reintermediate. We will cultivate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without CAD, you will lack end-to-end, extensible technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. Widgets International is the industry leader of collaborative best-of-breed, bricks-and-clicks e-services. The cyber-one-to-one synergistic solutions factor is best-of-breed. The obfuscation factor is blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Our proactive, 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our real-world markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think mega-short-term. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to disintermediate transparently. The paradigms factor is social-network-based, web-enabled. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the ability of media sourcing to transition. Without adequate user communities, aggregation are forced to become collaborative. We will expand our power to generate without decreasing our power to incubate. Think holistic, one-to-one. Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be impactful? We usually mesh web-enabled e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We have come to know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also implement super-strategically. Widgets International has refactored the idea of resource-constrained, B2C2B raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. The ability to utilize cyber-proactively leads to the aptitude to optimize ultra-holistically. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, strategic relationships are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Without action-items, you will lack functionalities. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will repurpose the industry jargon "one-to-one". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think super-collaborative. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of revolutionary niches. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our capability to implement. Without power shifts, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based performance and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "development" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Without wireless, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance, you will lack granular intra-turn-key R&D. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful deliverables. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also engage strategically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. Without power shifts, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our sexy, wireless, user-defined versioning but our capacity to orchestrate. The re-sizing factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG.