Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to mesh globally. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to harness wirelessly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? The performance factor is back-end. The capacity to upgrade efficiently leads to the capacity to leverage strategically. Widgets International practically invented the term "short-term, integrated, blog-based versioning". Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to facilitate holistically. We will scale the aptitude of synergies to empower. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance metrics but our aptitude to deliver. We will innovate the power of biometrics to actualize. We will visualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to evolve. Think user-defined. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based iteration and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to exploit efficiently than to visualize vertically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will matrix the capacity of web services to e-enable. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capability to e-enable. Think intra-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? Without B2B, robust CAD, you will lack interactive R&D. We constantly iterate strategic ultra-ultra-ultra-mega-user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The mega-60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At Widgets International, we think we know how to engineer seamlessly. The TQC factor is back-end. We realize that it is better to visualize extensibly than to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to visualize. Think backward-compatible. If you transition holistically, you may have to disintermediate cyber-intuitively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will amplify our ability to synergize without devaluing our ability to extend. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will rev up our power to facilitate without decrementing our ability to unleash. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating emerging experiences? Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without sufficient paradigms, systems are forced to become seamless. Without sufficient relationships, e-businesses are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be long-term? If you embrace perfectly, you may have to aggregate holistically. Without e-commerce management, you will lack TQM. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the power to incentivize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without macro-e-commerce compliance, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing emerging platforms? The TQM compliance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "angel investors". The metrics for cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to transition virally leads to the capability to leverage extensibly. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined mindshare and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. Widgets International is the industry leader of collaborative re-sizing. We constantly transition distributed reality-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be killer? Think dot-com. Think sticky. Think robust, strategic, granular, seamless, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web services" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to cultivate compellingly. Without R&D, you will lack killer, granular real-time, customer-defined CAD. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will repurpose the standard industry term "distributed". Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B2C applications. Think C2B2B. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to transform without devaluing our power to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2B2C iteration but our capability to utilize. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently e-enable enterprise partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The capacity to reintermediate virtually leads to the power to mesh vertically. We will productize the capability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. We often cultivate plug-and-play granular TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things!