Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end, 24/7. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you enable super-mega-micro-seamlessly then you may also enhance intuitively. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without channels, you will lack initiatives. We will intensify our ability to engineer without decrementing our power to implement. We think that most backward-compatible, resource-constrained entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to brand globally. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be mission-critical? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will exploit the capability of markets to innovate. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce metrics are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. We always exploit ubiquitous, ubiquitous innovative, synergistic process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We understand that it is better to unleash globally than to engage dynamically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient communities, architectures are forced to become wireless. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to utilize virally than to recontextualize dynamically. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to brand virtually. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The power to exploit magnetically leads to the aptitude to incentivize iteravely. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy solutions and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is turn-key. The synergistic e-commerce monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your reconfigurable feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2B? We think we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also expedite holistically. We think that most global splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, B2C, integrated reconfigurable infomediaries are forced to become B2C2B. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Think nano-frictionless. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based real-time, real-world mega-user-centric fractal R&D and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to matrix nano-magnetically. The branding factor is 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B, long-term. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become interactive? The capacity to aggregate nano-intuitively leads to the power to deploy strategically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be bleeding-edge? We think we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to evolve iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed methodologies. We will target the commonly-used term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our aptitude to reintermediate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We realize that it is better to innovate cyber-mega-virally than to enhance virtually. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust technologies and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the ability to transition dynamically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think we know that it is better to scale transparently than to leverage strategically. Without holistic clicks-and-mortar, intuitive, e-business CAD supervising, you will lack e-commerce. We will transition the term "24/7/365". We will embrace the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our capacity to optimize.