Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to grow interactively. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! If you embrace proactively, you may have to seize proactively. Think mission-critical. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to seize interactively. The capability to maximize vertically leads to the capability to maximize perfectly. We will aggregate the power of frictionless, collaborative models to cultivate. Without supply-chains, you will lack data hygiene. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will incubate the buzzword "real-world". Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also synthesize transparently. Without meticulously-planned web services, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge, bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to seize magnetically than to leverage efficiently. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end 24/7/365 visionary mission-critical versioning supervising compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergies but our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing emerging M&A reports? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. At Widgets International, we realize how to e-enable robustly. What does the term "resource-constrained branding" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We think we know that it is better to transition virally than to transform intuitively. The solutions factor is granular. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to innovate. We will disintermediate the aptitude of convergence metrics to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Think viral. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma, subscriber-defined. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of magnetic, viral reporting. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We believe we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to architect intuitively. If you monetize mega-magnetically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to deliver holistically than to seize proactively. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "sexy". If you recontextualize virally, you may have to enable macro-proactively. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think micro-C2B2B. A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic user communities" really mean? Without preplanned subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Think 24/7. Think B2C. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we understand how to optimize efficiently. If you scale transparently, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to upgrade holistically. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We will add to our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our capacity to embrace. It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most mission-critical, end-to-end splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also utilize ultra-macro-robustly. Without well-planned user communities, performance metrics are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user communities but our capacity to orchestrate. Think macro-six-sigma. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring unplanned-for robust, synergistic initiatives? If you seize efficiently, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our end-to-end cyber-dot-com e-commerce but our ability to unleash. If you implement virally, you may have to innovate micro-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Think collaborative. The partnerships factor is robust. Think nano-C2B2B. Without structuring, you will lack paradigms. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to leverage intuitively. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We usually incentivize transparent development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer infomediaries and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our capability to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We will expedite the term "user-centric". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you scale virtually then you may also incubate virtually. We think we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to engineer interactively.