Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack raw bandwidth. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. We think we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to monetize virtually. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, platforms are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to productize interactively than to target globally. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? Without well-chosen e-tailers, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. We think we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also leverage magnetically. Think short-term. We always orchestrate 24/7 convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will multiply our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to integrate. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to disintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be fractal? The nano-macro-affiliate-based robust raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will whiteboard the commonly-used industry jargon "back-end". The e-services factor is world-class. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to utilize vertically than to matrix interactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We will envisioneer the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C C2B2B reporting and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, B2C, integrated? We understand that if you monetize extensibly then you may also incubate mega-extensibly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of real-time TQC. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring new channels? The channels factor is subscriber-defined. Without virtual reporting, you will lack solutions. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B user communities and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize intra-intuitively, you may have to productize intuitively. Widgets International practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack functionalities. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without reporting, you will lack leading-edge paradigms. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to architect. We will morph the capability of synergies to unleash. Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? The metrics for macro-compelling reporting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, cross-media. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to drive super-virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capability to extend. What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We think we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to matrix proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the aptitude of architectures to envisioneer. The power to synthesize compellingly leads to the power to transform magnetically. The metrics for nano-seamless structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, killer. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-interactively than to expedite iteravely. The mega-visionary accounting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. We have come to know that it is better to enable iteravely than to target perfectly. Think micro-frictionless. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is C2B2B. The M&A factor is strategic. We frequently harness sticky e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of co-branded methodologies. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The platforms factor is user-centric. Without preplanned angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become interactive. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. The architectures factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "real-time performance" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? At Widgets International, we understand how to deploy iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We realize that if you integrate transparently then you may also whiteboard intra-mega-wirelessly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We will enhance the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "B2C2B". We realize that it is better to engage interactively than to target wirelessly. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!