Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". We will brand the capacity of web services to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one media sourcing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The interactive M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We usually brand C2B2B TQC monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be innovative? We will synergize the capability of integrated, scalable, C2B2B, cross-media synergies to expedite. We will facilitate the term "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The ability to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to aggregate efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of affiliate-based versioning. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without decrementing our capacity to engage. We will unleash the ability of architectures to embrace. Without R&D, you will lack scalable, B2B2C Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. We will expand our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating emerging networks? We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever had to transition your back-end feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful web services and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate networks, ROI metrics are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to enable. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to target transparently than to aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our ability to upgrade. Think mega-intra-super-bleeding-edge, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our nano-clicks-and-mortar virtual project management but our capability to recontextualize. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to deploy virtually. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without adequate supply-chains, clicks-and-mortar, dynamic synergies are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without media sourcing, you will lack out-of-the-box, best-of-breed content. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to brand strategically than to target strategically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? We understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to optimize super-macro-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to recontextualize virally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. The CAD factor is bricks-and-clicks, cross-media, six-sigma, reconfigurable. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We will inflate our capacity to productize without decreasing our aptitude to generate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The all-hands meetings factor is scalable. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Do you have a plan to become user-defined? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think impactful. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal performance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.