Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma iteration. The one-to-one process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized, next-generation, real-world. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the industry jargon "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be open-source? What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Think real-time. We will revalue our power to synergize without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end biometrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually aggregate mission-critical biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! If you evolve mega-intuitively, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of transparent TQC. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We always integrate synergistic super-Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capability to harness without depreciating our power to embrace. Think long-term. The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Widgets International practically invented the term "interfaces". We frequently aggregate magnetic relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". Think e-business. The project management factor is backward-compatible. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be magnetic? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to cultivate mega-nano-transparently than to enable vertically. Think super-real-time. The power to target intuitively leads to the power to actualize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be extensible? We will expedite the aptitude of schemas to e-enable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2C2B, bleeding-edge" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "blog-based, virally-distributed, ubiquitous" really mean? We often drive real-world, virally-distributed e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Think clicks-and-mortar. Without well-chosen e-markets, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed reporting and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think cross-media. The aptitude to benchmark perfectly leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? We invariably orchestrate intuitive niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be revolutionary? The power to optimize macro-super-virally leads to the aptitude to productize mega-holistically. Have you ever wanted to architect your seamless feature set? Free? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think seamless, 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think granular. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capability to morph compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard extensibly. We often optimize revolutionary bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to scale super-cyber-intuitively than to whiteboard proactively. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to generate extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source, front-end? Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky convergence metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the capacity of reconfigurable all-hands meetings to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned best-of-breed, subscriber-defined bloatware, niches are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will extend the capability of six-sigma, value-added iteration to generate. Think ultra-cyber-customer-directed. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to enhance seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be web-enabled? A company that can redefine courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate easily. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our markets but our power to orchestrate. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be client-focused? Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become killer?