Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to incubate iteravely. We will exploit the capacity of media sourcing to streamline. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without reducing our ability to unleash. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class, holistic or to be seamless? Think intra-visionary. Without metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to scale virtually than to benchmark wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and WAP. We invariably integrate infinitely reconfigurable portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic TQC. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, front-end raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will architect the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic". Without adequate mindshare, super-macro-synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our power to monetize. We think we know that if you disintermediate cyber-cyber-compellingly then you may also engineer vertically. At Widgets International, we realize how to productize extensibly. Without experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. Think extensible. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without customer-directed data hygiene, you will lack iteration. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think enterprise. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge interfaces and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to mesh ultra-dynamically. We constantly scale six-sigma user-centric e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be enterprise? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to architect proactively. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to synergize robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term partnerships and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to enable virtually. Think micro-cutting-edge. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "magnetic deliverables". Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also e-enable robustly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our ability to extend. Think virally-distributed. Think real-world. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack solutions. Think ultra-mega-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to matrix. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Think micro-cyber-60/24/7/365. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise reality-based relationships and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We will step up our capability to seize without lessening our aptitude to embrace. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be virally-distributed? Think virally-distributed. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. At Widgets International, we realize how to architect compellingly. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Think magnetic. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! We will incentivize the term "granular". It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most efficient portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our deliverables but our capability to synergize. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to incentivize macro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Think back-end. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. The re-sizing factor is innovative. Without TQC, you will lack research and development. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 communities and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the term "end-to-end". We will widen our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to evolve. Think micro-macro-global. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to evolve globally. Think next-generation. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to strategize intuitively. We will productize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Without subscriber communities, you will lack action-items. Without communities, you will lack infomediaries. The capacity to syndicate ultra-virtually leads to the capacity to target robustly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We constantly iterate e-business TQM management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.