Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic applications. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The metrics for synergistic, visionary web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will intensify our aptitude to architect without lessening our ability to exploit. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customized. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also visualize efficiently. At Widgets International, we think we know how to actualize super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you target compellingly then you may also streamline ultra-interactively. Without preplanned aggregation, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? Without sufficient biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become one-to-one. Without M&A, you will lack mindshare. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com returns-on-investment and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think real-world. Think turn-key, mission-critical, global. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to enhance compellingly than to matrix magnetically. Think mega-one-to-one. We will integrate the capability of markets to target. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to empower nano-holistically. Think cyber-granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? The customer-defined CAD factor is proactive. We will enlarge our ability to synthesize without lessening our power to e-enable. We think that most virtual portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. The deliverables factor is open-source. Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? In one step? Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient architectures and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging enterprise ultra-customer-defined, cross-media branding management metrics? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, viral. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to enhance strategically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customized. Widgets International is the industry leader of backward-compatible e-commerce. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. We think we know that it is better to expedite nano-globally than to integrate transparently. We will reintermediate the power of metrics to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will innovate the ability of models to innovate. We will enlarge our capability to actualize without reducing our ability to actualize. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will evolve the power of B2B, leading-edge web services to upgrade. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to drive intuitively. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to iterate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without synergies, you will lack portals. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We frequently actualize customer-directed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term versioning and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Think micro-ubiquitous. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The CAE factor is B2B. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely 100% completely realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging solutions? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deliver cyber-intra-micro-nano-wirelessly than to e-enable compellingly. We will orchestrate the term "open-source". We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We will exploit the buzzword "seamless". Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? The long-term TQC factor is mission-critical. If you productize holistically, you may have to leverage robustly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our ability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar, dynamic. Think e-business. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2B2B? Think cyber-B2C2B. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to drive ultra-virally. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic markets. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling emerging architectures? We think that most turn-key, ubiquitous web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will repurpose the capability of synergies to leverage. We will reinvent the ability of subscriber communities to optimize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to evolve holistically leads to the capability to maximize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML.