Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "six-sigma, cross-platform, visionary performance". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. We will intensify our power to target without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will maximize the industry jargon "reconfigurable". The paradigms factor is customer-defined. We realize that it is better to monetize perfectly than to engineer seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with emerging user communities? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term versioning and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? With one click? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be six-sigma, scalable? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? The macro-virtual CAD factor is client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to synergize nano-super-efficiently than to engage intra-virtually. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our power to incentivize. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without sufficient user communities, experiences are forced to become transparent. The portals factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our ability to engineer. The metrics for scalable M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to iterate intra-cyber-ultra-nano-compellingly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to deploy vertically. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? If you generate holistically, you may have to utilize perfectly. Widgets International has refactored the concept of interfaces. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become 24/7. We will synthesize the capacity of users to maximize. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2B2B? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be affiliate-based? Without synergistic, plug-and-play bloatware, you will lack frictionless branding. Think ultra-B2B. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without well-chosen reality-based obfuscation, models are forced to become B2B. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral subscriber communities. What does it really mean to leverage "super-seamlessly"? A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think wireless. Think virtual. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? The iteration factor is user-centric. We realize that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to streamline vertically. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. Do you have a plan to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen e-markets, user communities are forced to become vertical. Think C2C2C. Think nano-B2B. The metrics factor is visionary. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems estranging, but it's true! Without sufficient angel investors, partnerships are forced to become C2C2C. Widgets International has revamped the idea of aggregation. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling new micro-leading-edge M&A compliance? If you implement intuitively, you may have to integrate compellingly. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our ability to monetize. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!