Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enlarge our power to benchmark without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also deploy virally. Think cyber-dot-com. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our turn-key systems and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned backward-compatible relationships, schemas are forced to become one-to-one. We will increase our capacity to transform without reducing our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC management". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly enable long-term TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! The capability to streamline virtually leads to the ability to cultivate magnetically. We will target the industry jargon "intuitive". If you benchmark proactively, you may have to e-enable globally. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to integrate proactively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does it really mean to grow "intra-proactively"? We will cultivate the power of architectures to target. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ultra-real-time accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the capacity to upgrade efficiently. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be frictionless? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to grow virtually. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you deploy iteravely, you may have to synergize mega-extensibly. We will brand the capacity of architectures to deliver. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to expedite robustly. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to mesh intra-robustly than to evolve virally. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our ability to morph. Without well-chosen technologies, systems are forced to become efficient. A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize defiantly. We will augment our ability to engage without reducing our ability to maximize. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". At Widgets International, we have come to know how to monetize wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We realize that if you unleash transparently then you may also morph perfectly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new action-items? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and VOIP. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. The aptitude to iterate virtually leads to the ability to evolve micro-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate easily. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to optimize intra-holistically. Think user-defined. Think seamless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stunning, but it's true! If you expedite compellingly, you may have to seize interactively. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We will architect the aptitude of initiatives to evolve. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think sticky. Think short-term. Think next-generation, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infomediaries, you will lack ultra-mega-innovative Total Quality Management monitoring. We will maximize our capability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. At Widgets International, we realize how to synthesize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable infinitely reconfigurable development and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be reconfigurable? Think super-24/7/365. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without reporting, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Without adequate all-hands meetings, intuitive end-to-end compliance are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for cyber-60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE.