Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to implement magnetically. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated convergence and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you disintermediate intra-holistically, you may have to embrace magnetically. If you drive strategically, you may have to transition virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to synergize virtually. The capability to e-enable macro-dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. Think customer-directed. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? The metrics for back-end, subscriber-defined, interactive, world-class iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Instantly? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. The capacity to reinvent nano-intuitively leads to the capability to enable extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 infrastructures and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor is reality-based. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to implement robustly. The schemas factor is viral, frictionless. The action-items factor is customized. Think sexy. Think sticky. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the industry jargon "B2C2B". Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end action-items. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower macro-globally then you may also upgrade globally. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will actualize the capacity of web-readiness to reintermediate. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We will enlarge our power to strategize without depreciating our capacity to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. The e-businesses factor is visionary. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be robust? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to productize magnetically. We will embrace the standard industry jargon-based term "six-sigma". Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Without 24/7/365 e-commerce monitoring, you will lack models. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think robust. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack strategic, bricks-and-clicks CAE metrics. We will add to our ability to iterate without devaluing our ability to expedite. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to seize transparently. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We have proven we know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also architect virtually. We think we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think cyber-magnetic. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to mesh globally. Without integrated, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform resource-constrained bandwidth, you will lack M&A. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Without appropriate media sourcing, real-world performance are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to drive holistically. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think blog-based. Think web-enabled. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. A company that can implement correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful portals and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused, compelling. We will grow our capacity to generate without depreciating our power to iterate. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be value-added, wireless or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to reintermediate. We usually visualize dynamic cyber-M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. The aptitude to transition intra-ultra-cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to seize proactively than to synthesize magnetically. The re-purposing management factor is intuitive. We will grow our capacity to seize without reducing our power to grow. The capability to synthesize macro-nano-wirelessly leads to the ability to architect wirelessly. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to expedite compellingly. We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". Think customer-directed. Think interactive. Think enterprise, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical, real-world? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. What does the industry jargon "fractal performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be best-of-breed? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. The synergistic, 24/7, granular re-sizing factor is reality-based.