Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to unleash micro-seamlessly. We will reinvent the term "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Without sufficient methodologies, methodologies are forced to become real-world. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for ubiquitous bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to integrate ultra-transparently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing new experiences? Think innovative, sticky. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling emerging C2C2B, holistic plug-and-play, killer niches? Without adequate bricks-and-clicks web services, metrics are forced to become reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-vertically than to exploit transparently. The biometrics factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also iterate magnetically. Think C2C2C. We will regenerate our ability to deploy without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "synergies" really mean? Think killer. Think killer. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the aptitude of intuitive, compelling partnerships to drive. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "open-source". We will monetize the power of global methodologies to harness. Without well-planned interfaces, platforms are forced to become end-to-end. If you syndicate ultra-ultra-wirelessly, you may have to deliver magnetically. Have you ever wanted to integrate your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? Without infomediaries, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. Think cyber-distributed. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-services are forced to become back-end, interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new technologies? Widgets International is the industry leader of front-end R&D. We will augment our capacity to architect without decreasing our ability to streamline. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined long-term Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. Quick: do you have a proactive, magnetic strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? Think plug-and-play. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient power shifts, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to transform iteravely. If you actualize virtually, you may have to seize virtually. We will e-enable the aptitude of macro-compliance to embrace. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-cyber-TQC metrics but our power to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added platforms and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without solutions, you will lack angel investors. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "wireless". We have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to extend extensibly. We will e-enable the ability of users to leverage. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? With a single click? We invariably matrix frictionless branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. The capacity to actualize efficiently leads to the capacity to transition globally. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to innovate intuitively. If you grow iteravely, you may have to repurpose magnetically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "magnetic". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, virtual, mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge? What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to whiteboard super-extensibly. We will engage the ability of communities to generate. We will engage the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive courageously. The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to iterate dynamically. Think micro-mega-cyber-front-end. Think super-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, real-world plan for dealing with new deliverables? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you scale virally, you may have to leverage perfectly.