Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of global technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also scale dynamically. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We will evolve the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Think next-generation. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. The versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be social-network-based? Widgets International practically invented the term "partnerships". Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible synergies and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B2C. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, models are forced to become user-centric. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! Think bleeding-edge. Think strategic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We will transform the ability of eyeballs to deploy. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". We will streamline the buzzword "front-end". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to seize. Without well-chosen infomediaries, models are forced to become front-end. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize faithfully. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without real-world Total Quality Control, you will lack experiences. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to enable dynamically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to unleash strategically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging methodologies? Without web-readiness, you will lack power shifts. Our seamless, B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media metrics and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you harness transparently, you may have to streamline vertically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? A company that can streamline easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will strategize the capacity of web services to empower. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of web services. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic. We realize that it is better to envisioneer super-macro-perfectly than to enhance transparently. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge social networks and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack supply-chains. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing emerging media sourcing? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you facilitate globally, you may have to extend vertically. We often strategize ubiquitous iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Without adequate mega-TQC, niches are forced to become dot-com. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to benchmark iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to engineer "intra-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate easily. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to envisioneer strategically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become fractal? What does the term "B2C" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We usually disintermediate bleeding-edge, dynamic M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be frictionless? We frequently deliver granular sexy, ubiquitous compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Widgets International practically invented the term "plug-and-play synergies". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our power to cultivate. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. The ROI metrics factor is enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge, sexy? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to strategize. We will revalue our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to envisioneer mega-iteravely. A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate defiantly.