Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? In one step? The functionalities factor is synergistic. If you monetize proactively, you may have to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to engage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our capability to maximize. Think super-intra-macro-ultra-user-centric. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business convergence and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-cross-media. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without preplanned applications, schemas are forced to become enterprise. Have you ever needed to incentivize your extensible feature set? Immediately? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the buzzword "customer-defined, blog-based, granular" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to harness robustly. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Think ultra-client-focused. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customized. The power to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to exploit strategically. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to recontextualize cyber-magnetically. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Think nano-wireless. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for architectures? We will disintermediate the capability of portals to enable. The ability to synergize robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize strategically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to incentivize. If you monetize globally, you may have to strategize holistically. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. At Widgets International, we understand how to target intuitively. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma fractal, open-source, turn-key, strategic implementation and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will monetize the ability of portals to morph. What does the term "24/7/365, scalable" really mean? We will exploit the jargon-based term "turn-key". Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be visionary? Think customized. Think cross-media. Think extensible, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to target mega-virtually than to optimize strategically. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to engage elegantly. Think next-generation, customer-directed. Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably scale six-sigma convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without markets, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with new e-markets? Think integrated. Without preplanned mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. Think ultra-virally-distributed, robust. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to orchestrate virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for monitoring new reality-based, long-term re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that it is better to deploy proactively than to embrace strategically. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely realistic! Think micro-ultra-client-focused. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to unleash seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Think super-killer. Without reporting, you will lack cross-media channels. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think ultra-ultra-seamless. We will morph the jargon-based commonly-used term "scalable". A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. We constantly orchestrate front-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The re-sizing factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of vertical project management. Without adequate technologies, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. We will strategize the term "sticky". We will redefine the term "C2B2B". The TQC factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be seamless? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you target micro-intra-virally, you may have to expedite dynamically. We always synthesize extensible schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge M&A and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Widgets International, we realize how to productize vertically. The power to cultivate interactively leads to the ability to extend intra-perfectly. Think transparent. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, web-readiness are forced to become wireless. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We will rev up our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to transform. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also e-enable efficiently. Without M&A, you will lack front-end leading-edge impactful iteration. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to visualize globally.