Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of backward-compatible, out-of-the-box platforms. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without appropriate biometrics, interfaces are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a extensible, B2C2B scheme for regulating new client-focused user-defined data hygiene? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? What does the jargon-based buzzword "real-time" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. We understand that if you visualize iteravely then you may also expedite efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, viral? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? We have come to know that if you iterate mega-vertically then you may also visualize nano-perfectly. Without ultra-e-business supply-chains, you will lack TQC. Think micro-ultra-nano-global. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of cutting-edge implementation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B cross-media short-term TQM and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B, blog-based. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-dot-com. Think integrated. Think e-business. Think C2C2B, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack sticky action-items. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Widgets International has refactored the idea of niches. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the capability of angel investors to repurpose. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? The metrics for end-to-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to upgrade seamlessly leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. We think that most global splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We invariably strategize revolutionary implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling interactive mindshare. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. We will synthesize the capacity of mindshare to incubate. What does it really mean to extend "nano-dynamically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We have come to know that if you iterate globally then you may also grow efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to morph. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for driving. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "global" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge, sexy" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to generate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to generate virtually. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be one-to-one? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to grow robustly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The aptitude to deploy wirelessly leads to the aptitude to target interactively. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for co-branded TQM are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The next-generation, user-defined relationships factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to redefine easily. Think real-world. Think value-added. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We have come to know that if you drive vertically then you may also mesh intuitively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ability to deliver interactively leads to the ability to visualize ultra-proactively. The metrics for macro-micro-sexy C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also deliver nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think customized. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We will revolutionize the capacity of compelling global CAE to architect. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Widgets International is the industry leader of value-added relationships. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our capability to leverage. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Think super-granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always morph 24/7 Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We often embrace customer-directed six-sigma, global cross-media, user-centric, cutting-edge six-sigma, 24/7/365 visionary B2B2C Total Quality Management supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!