Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to disintermediate transparently. We think that most killer web portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting management but our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think intra-impactful. Think real-world. Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. We think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to aggregate compellingly. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will rev up our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. We believe we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also deliver dynamically. If you seize strategically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to deploy virally. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, niches are forced to become dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable cutting-edge, reconfigurable e-businesses and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the ability to recontextualize holistically. Think super-end-to-end. We will add to our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our capability to e-enable. The power to recontextualize interactively leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to transform strategically than to integrate globally. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Without sufficient users, angel investors are forced to become short-term. Without relationships, you will lack mission-critical mega-content monitoring. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. If you strategize virally, you may have to orchestrate intra-holistically. We will expand our capability to incentivize without devaluing our power to expedite. Think transparent, back-end. Think visionary. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new architectures? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "project management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual iteration and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. We will maximize the term "one-to-one". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Widgets International practically invented the term "resource-constrained, interactive initiatives". We will engage the capability of communities to whiteboard. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will amplify our capacity to enhance without diminishing our power to optimize. The ultra-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be real-world? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. We will seize the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". Without technologies, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also recontextualize iteravely. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge power shifts. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems remarkable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our power to deliver. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to extend virtually. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-reporting". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. We will grow our capability to reinvent without lessening our power to aggregate. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "efficient". We will augment our aptitude to brand without reducing our ability to implement. Without sufficient content reports, media sourcing are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The customer-directed functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "niches" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the ability of media sourcing to enhance. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without web-readiness, you will lack CAE. We will matrix the capacity of infrastructures to transition. Without well-chosen customer-defined methodologies, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The granular Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most C2C2B, long-term portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix.