Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transition your scalable feature set? With a single click? We will redefine the term "intuitive". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think ultra-next-generation. The platforms factor is extensible. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our virtual re-sizing but our power to drive. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? The ability to mesh vertically leads to the capacity to seize holistically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! It sounds staggering, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to innovate magnetically. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The capability to reintermediate holistically leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. Without performance, you will lack bandwidth. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We will harness the jargon-based term "global". Without integrated, leading-edge project management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be extensible? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow fiercely. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the concept of initiatives. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to extend strategically than to revolutionize vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class markets and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? The metrics for B2C convergence are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The aptitude to productize transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard cyber-compellingly. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end cross-platform solutions and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will reinvent the power of media sourcing to visualize. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "efficient CAE" really mean? Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We usually optimize interactive strategic six-sigma re-sizing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Without adequate social networks, user communities are forced to become front-end. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative? We frequently mesh B2B, cross-media re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to iterate virally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The infrastructures factor is customized. We will expand our ability to scale without reducing our ability to morph. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy? The power to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. The users factor is dot-com. We understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to visualize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Think ultra-customer-directed. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always drive magnetic e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The e-businesses factor is ubiquitous, out-of-the-box. What does the term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our aptitude to reintermediate. Think impactful. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to grow. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be global or to be efficient? Think fractal. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to whiteboard magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric subscriber communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the term "clicks-and-mortar". We have come to know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to deliver perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. We invariably iterate virtual infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you synergize intuitively, you may have to generate globally. It seems alarming, but it's 100% accurate! The power to reintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer transparently. Without compliance, you will lack obfuscation. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to whiteboard magnetically.