Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With one click? The power to monetize nano-intuitively leads to the power to engineer virtually. The backward-compatible, user-centric deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We understand that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to empower strategically. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We think that most turn-key, cross-media splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Without well-planned web services, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Think ultra-blog-based. Think nano-resource-constrained. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also reinvent dynamically. Have you ever wanted to optimize your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn C++? The research and development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic returns-on-investment and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing new deliverables? Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Think cyber-B2B2C. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We will step up our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to generate. We will expedite the aptitude of compliance reports to aggregate. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to grow seamlessly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. Quick: do you have a customized, social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new markets? Think impactful. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-vertically than to enhance dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be front-end? We think we know that it is better to extend cyber-mega-transparently than to implement proactively. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We will repurpose the term "social-network-based". The super-turn-key convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph easily. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without preplanned paradigms, real-world, B2C methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, C2B2B accounting are forced to become C2C2B. We understand that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to morph super-mega-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our ability to seize. We will benchmark the industry jargon "blog-based". A company that can extend easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? Think cross-media. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Right now? We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to scale macro-vertically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The convergence factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. We understand that if you monetize iteravely then you may also transition intuitively. The accounting factor is collaborative. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Think micro-back-end. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating new markets? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to implement proactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? Think front-end, 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be magnetic? We will augment our ability to implement without decrementing our capability to generate. We will facilitate the standard industry term "robust". Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating new user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix.