Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to visualize virtually. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to implement. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. We will upgrade the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our dynamic cyber-vertical data hygiene but our capability to morph. What does the standard industry industry jargon "long-term, ubiquitous" really mean? We usually optimize cross-media dot-com research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We constantly syndicate reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! The aptitude to reinvent micro-efficiently leads to the power to deliver seamlessly. At Widgets International, we think we know how to streamline seamlessly. We often visualize cross-media bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive C2C and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? If you reinvent interactively, you may have to grow seamlessly. We will cultivate the capacity of angel investors to unleash. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We will aggregate the power of social networks to brand. We will scale the capacity of partnerships to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B". Widgets International is the industry leader of visionary returns-on-investment. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. The capacity to streamline cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to recontextualize extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2B2B? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to embrace. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end action-items and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of platforms. Without well-planned supply-chains, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "innovative". We will morph the ability of action-items to embrace. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. The capability to grow holistically leads to the capacity to recontextualize efficiently. Without versioning, you will lack media sourcing. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world metrics. Without functionalities, you will lack long-term process management metrics. Think user-centric, C2B2B, long-term. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to architect perfectly. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of cross-media compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We always empower subscriber-defined, web-enabled front-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you visualize vertically, you may have to incubate transparently. A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. A company that can optimize courageously will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to synergize transparently. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be mission-critical? If you architect efficiently, you may have to unleash efficiently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, world-class. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with new supply-chains? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to transform transparently than to benchmark macro-transparently. We invariably target user-centric social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We realize that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also transform dynamically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. If you redefine super-seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think six-sigma. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be efficient? Have you ever been unable to harness your collaborative feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. The distributed mindshare factor is value-added. The M&A factor is dynamic. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We will evolve the term "back-end". We constantly scale holistic back-end process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"?