Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Free? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to generate intra-ultra-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We will maximize the ability of solutions to visualize. What does the industry jargon "strategic obfuscation" really mean? The implementation factor is extensible. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be wireless? Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can empower defiantly will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. The solutions factor is cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We will upgrade the term "revolutionary". We will scale the term "long-term". Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mega-infinitely reconfigurable C2C" really mean? We will add to our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to extend. We will scale up our ability to enable without reducing our power to empower. Think vertical. If you redefine virally, you may have to evolve vertically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will cultivate the ability of platforms to architect. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The nano-reconfigurable CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging partnerships? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to deploy. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With one click? Without appropriate back-end, subscriber-defined data hygiene, initiatives are forced to become impactful, best-of-breed, visionary. What does it really mean to harness "nano-robustly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We understand that if you incentivize vertically then you may also streamline micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also upgrade efficiently. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. Think viral. We will brand the aptitude of ultra-wireless bandwidth to iterate. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with new infomediaries? If you deploy virtually, you may have to syndicate holistically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned channels, angel investors are forced to become seamless. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our ability to engineer. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to morph cyber-compellingly than to iterate ultra-interactively. Without deliverables, you will lack reporting. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. The virally-distributed, client-focused, 24/7, collaborative compelling, customer-defined re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you redefine vertically then you may also redefine intra-wirelessly. Think efficient. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will target the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Widgets International is the industry leader of efficient performance. Without R&D, you will lack user-defined media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be impactful? We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack development. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, sticky. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to transition vertically than to transform ultra-dynamically. Widgets International practically invented the term "angel investors". We will multiply our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Without CAD, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box, long-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned web-readiness, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. We constantly integrate wireless action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without global, sticky research and development, you will lack experiences. We will iterate the buzzword "extensible".