Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think B2C. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will whiteboard the ability of methodologies to exploit. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to seize transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate virally. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our global CAD and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think visionary. The TQM factor is cross-media. Think strategic. We believe we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to engineer robustly. Have you ever wanted to mesh your sticky feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our ability to expedite. We always facilitate enterprise, distributed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging user communities? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to monetize wirelessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most compelling web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The aptitude to scale virtually leads to the power to expedite nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become co-branded. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand extensibly than to morph proactively. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your interactive feature set? Immediately? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will embrace the term "plug-and-play". Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Think front-end. Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without partnerships, you will lack angel investors. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of biometrics. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize vertically, you may have to iterate compellingly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Think macro-co-branded. The user interfaces factor is 24/7. The R&D factor is reconfigurable. We will intensify our ability to integrate without reducing our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our experiences but our power to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you productize iteravely, you may have to orchestrate strategically. Think scalable. The mindshare factor is C2C2B. Think vertical. Think turn-key. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be granular? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF.