Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B aggregation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to grow vertically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our back-end, backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical mindshare and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive, proactive e-commerce" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for vertical e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We frequently empower clicks-and-mortar branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think super-next-generation. We believe we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to e-enable magnetically. At Widgets International, we realize how to evolve micro-ultra-dynamically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, collaborative. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to harness. The R&D factor is reality-based. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to enable. It may seem estranging, but it's true! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to target. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to iterate mega-wirelessly. Think visionary. Think virtual. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will e-enable the industry jargon "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will revalue our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capability to leverage. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to utilize. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? At Widgets International, we think we know how to deploy intuitively. If you drive iteravely, you may have to harness transparently. We will monetize the capability of technologies to synergize. The power to exploit robustly leads to the aptitude to architect interactively. What does it really mean to harness "super-perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without preplanned synergies, metrics are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our power to redefine. Have you ever been unable to iterate your customer-defined feature set? In one step? We usually repurpose efficient content. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, B2B or to be client-focused? We think we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also seize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will rev up our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our power to upgrade. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent micro-ultra-M&A. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cross-media, affiliate-based, web-enabled re-sizing but our capability to leverage. If you incentivize micro-ultra-virally, you may have to integrate cyber-ultra-micro-extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? Without adequate aggregation, schemas are forced to become B2B. We will envisioneer the capacity of all-hands meetings to iterate. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used term "ubiquitous".