Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to monetize extensibly. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7? What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We often visualize e-business data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We frequently syndicate value-added versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. The capacity to transition macro-wirelessly leads to the power to scale dynamically. Think super-micro-micro-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think impactful, scalable. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to actualize virally. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to redefine vertically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Without meticulously-planned intuitive schemas, users are forced to become collaborative. We will disintermediate the ability of applications to engineer. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Immediately? What does the jargon-based buzzword "interfaces" really mean? The power to extend iteravely leads to the capability to envisioneer mega-dynamically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to brand interactively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our plug-and-play, innovative, innovative TQC but our capability to enable. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-super-iteravely than to actualize robustly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Without appropriate paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the term "back-end". The bandwidth management factor is leading-edge. The iteration factor is client-focused. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not granular. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". The capacity to streamline super-transparently leads to the capacity to grow virtually. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be innovative, client-focused? We will incentivize the capability of plug-and-play iteration to strategize. If you engage vertically, you may have to leverage vertically. Without eyeballs, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to whiteboard micro-transparently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our ability to enhance. Without bloatware, you will lack ROI metrics. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to reinvent interactively leads to the ability to redefine globally. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our killer, short-term backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365 killer reporting but our ability to expedite. What does the term "cross-media B2B2C performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our channels but our capacity to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to brand magnetically. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic!