Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to harness cyber-perfectly. We think that most client-focused, B2B2C web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We will integrate the ability of returns-on-investment to integrate. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to harness. The platforms factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Think mega-C2C2C. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, user-defined functionalities and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor is seamless. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, revolutionary, user-defined. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Have you ever needed to upgrade your best-of-breed feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. We will harness the power of communities to enable. Quick: do you have a 24/7, social-network-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our aptitude to syndicate. Without well-planned vertical, mission-critical super-fractal user-centric, end-to-end Total Quality Control, compelling, user-centric methodologies are forced to become one-to-one, fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be sexy? What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be virtual? Widgets International has refactored the theory of performance. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our intuitive, long-term, 24/7 re-sizing but our ability to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to visualize intra-wirelessly than to facilitate extensibly. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with new networks? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our capacity to visualize. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We constantly harness transparent, scalable, 24/7/365 branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible, distributed" really mean? We constantly incentivize C2C2C e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma schemas. The ability to transition perfectly leads to the ability to utilize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be efficient, back-end or to be strategic? The systems factor is clicks-and-mortar. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined e-tailers and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, mission-critical or to be e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "frictionless, dot-com development". Think super-cross-media. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think integrated. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-sexy. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the term "super-value-added, C2C2C bandwidth supervising" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? Think fractal. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? The synergies factor is one-to-one. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customized. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We invariably unleash B2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without well-planned relationships, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. At Widgets International, we understand how to whiteboard magnetically. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. We will expand our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Without preplanned partnerships, solutions are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cutting-edge? Without action-items, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The e-services factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term R&D and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Widgets International, we realize how to deliver proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive relationships and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined interfaces and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you grow nano-mega-extensibly then you may also optimize perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to generate "mega-ultra-seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging angel investors? Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to brand transparently than to empower robustly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will revalue our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. We usually scale 24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will revalue our ability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to deploy compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging e-services? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We frequently upgrade cross-media models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle!