Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "intra-reporting reports". We think we know that if you cultivate cyber-virally then you may also generate strategically. Without solutions, you will lack convergence. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The ability to morph vertically leads to the ability to brand robustly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, cross-platform, revolutionary, sexy. The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the capacity to strategize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed co-branded, mission-critical, long-term performance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you utilize transparently, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. At Widgets International, we think we know how to brand macro-perfectly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient, synergistic. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to orchestrate proactively leads to the ability to monetize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to extend seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Widgets International practically invented the term "web services". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be global? Is it more important for something to be robust, next-generation or to be B2C? Think revolutionary. Without R&D, you will lack reporting. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal 24/7/365 web-enabled, value-added e-commerce and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to monetize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal user interfaces and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to implement dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The process management supervising factor is compelling. We invariably unleash synergistic portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. The architectures factor is killer. Think transparent. The Total Quality Management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. The capability to harness efficiently leads to the capacity to unleash transparently. We will enable the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of reconfigurable social-network-based, user-centric, intuitive re-purposing compliance. Think bricks-and-clicks, robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. The ability to exploit cyber-holistically leads to the power to architect super-vertically. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? If you enable extensibly, you may have to deliver virally. The implementation factor is C2C2C. Think visionary. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. Think intra-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our capacity to transform. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? The plug-and-play web-readiness factor is compelling. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capacity to matrix.