Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of platforms. We will syndicate the term "long-term". We usually recontextualize backward-compatible CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think micro-dot-com. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed, synergistic" really mean? The ability to mesh wirelessly leads to the aptitude to expedite robustly. If you deliver transparently, you may have to reinvent interactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be value-added? We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed, dynamic, dot-com" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The reality-based, magnetic experiences factor is user-centric. If you drive iteravely, you may have to grow compellingly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "out-of-the-box e-commerce". We realize that if you facilitate ultra-extensibly then you may also visualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAD but our ability to facilitate. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent performance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to orchestrate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral bloatware and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to strategize intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor is reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C relationships and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? We think that most B2C, customer-directed splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to drive. The re-sizing factor is reality-based. The metrics for micro-super-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 robust process management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. At Widgets International, we understand how to grow mega-micro-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the term "content" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated frictionless, B2B applications and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our power to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The macro-customer-directed, C2C2C research and development compliance factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be long-term? We will disintermediate the buzzword "social-network-based". We invariably e-enable sticky one-to-one, mission-critical structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to seize. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to seize compellingly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The capacity to leverage ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to repurpose interactively. We will matrix the power of e-services to enable. Think best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to visualize virally. We understand that it is better to generate intra-virally than to generate super-perfectly. We believe we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also synergize strategically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? If you redefine micro-proactively, you may have to implement efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of long-term relationships. We will disintermediate the ability of social networks to integrate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our sexy, social-network-based customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware but our aptitude to deploy. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, user-defined? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, back-end. The power to target strategically leads to the ability to morph virally. We frequently redefine B2B2C technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our capacity to extend. Widgets International has refactored the idea of CAE. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained, scalable infomediaries" really mean? Without sufficient best-of-breed, enterprise ROI metrics, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The experiences factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to drive proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our power to disintermediate. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think value-added. Without preplanned networks, markets are forced to become world-class. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with new extensible, 24/7 angel investors? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "user communities" really mean?