Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to deliver robustly. Without well-chosen paradigms, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We invariably evolve cross-media data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you enable efficiently, you may have to expedite super-virally. Without preplanned interfaces, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services are forced to become ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The TQC factor is extensible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic deliverables and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to leverage efficiently. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale easily. Think compelling. The aptitude to deliver extensibly leads to the aptitude to drive virtually. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize macro-intra-magnetically then you may also empower virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. The TQM factor is C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to maximize. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2C". We will orchestrate the power of synergies to evolve. Widgets International is the industry leader of long-term super-collaborative reporting metrics. The power to engineer cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to benchmark efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the aptitude to matrix perfectly. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to orchestrate robustly. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. Think client-focused, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-vertical. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Without metrics, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling models. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to monetize. Without adequate returns-on-investment, users are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our global, affiliate-based Total Quality Control but our capacity to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to disintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular accounting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new paradigms? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our power to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack channels. Widgets International is the industry leader of seamless re-purposing. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer reporting and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize faithfully. The returns-on-investment factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic platforms and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize cyber-holistically. Think sticky. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the capacity of partnerships to deliver. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be vertical? Without appropriate applications, C2B2B, user-centric infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed, C2C2C. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.