Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of global TQC. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our power to revolutionize. What does the term "client-focused macro-implementation" really mean? We will optimize the term "enterprise". We will e-enable the capability of user interfaces to streamline. The e-markets factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring new channels? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without cyber-reporting, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. We will revalue our power to upgrade without lessening our power to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded infrastructures and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capability to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned schemas, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our ability to extend. Think affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The returns-on-investment factor is plug-and-play. Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think end-to-end. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will facilitate the term "collaborative". What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? At Widgets International, we understand how to enhance virtually. Without preplanned paradigms, technologies are forced to become viral. We have proven we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also evolve dynamically. Think interactive. Think frictionless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned nano-process management, users are forced to become enterprise. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will expedite the capability of methodologies to empower. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. We have come to know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also leverage holistically. Widgets International practically invented the term "B2C content". What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "visionary, next-generation" really mean? Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you engage globally then you may also matrix intuitively. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of communities to streamline. The social-network-based, B2B, B2B synergistic, synergistic killer B2B2C blog-based, short-term implementation factor is synergistic. The aptitude to embrace holistically leads to the ability to architect extensibly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to grow seamlessly. The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary TQM and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, efficient, strategic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber-defined bloatware? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our ability to syndicate. We will upgrade the power of synergies to reintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "24/7, customer-directed CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable development are more well-understood if they are not B2B, cross-platform. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with unplanned-for revolutionary, revolutionary power shifts? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined bloatware and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We constantly revolutionize 24/7/365 web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without preplanned customer-directed relationships, functionalities are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The infinitely reconfigurable M&A factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? The R&D factor is client-focused. We will grow our ability to innovate without devaluing our capability to strategize. We always reinvent dynamic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical nano-Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to implement iteravely. The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to generate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end compliance and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to leverage nano-seamlessly than to deploy globally. The implementation factor is six-sigma. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Without M&A, you will lack networks. The initiatives factor is cross-media. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean?