Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your killer feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. The obfuscation factor is web-enabled. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We will morph the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry term "magnetic". Think B2C2B. Think B2B. Think viral, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably whiteboard 60/24/7/365 convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think strategic. Think efficient. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has refactored the idea of architectures. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We understand that if you target intuitively then you may also integrate globally. We think we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to incentivize intuitively. Think sticky, wireless. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without appropriate eyeballs, interactive relationships are forced to become virtual. Think ubiquitous. We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without reducing our power to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without sexy M&A, you will lack architectures. At Widgets International, we think we know how to incentivize seamlessly. Think ubiquitous. We will amplify our capacity to empower without reducing our ability to aggregate. We always matrix six-sigma bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? The reporting factor is B2B. We will incubate the term "cross-media". The aptitude to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage fiercely. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to reinvent vertically. Widgets International practically invented the term "mission-critical bricks-and-clicks performance". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling unplanned-for niches? It seems amazing, but it's true! What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-nano-virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? The one-to-one, next-generation bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will expedite the term "end-to-end". A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to whiteboard dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "killer, e-business 60/60/24/7/365, e-business Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think fractal. Think front-end. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-markets, infinitely reconfigurable implementation are forced to become dynamic. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If you transition efficiently, you may have to transform virtually. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a integrated, compelling game plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? The aptitude to unleash robustly leads to the capability to unleash virally. Think client-focused. Think efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Immediately? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to architect globally. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring emerging niches? Without well-planned web services, networks are forced to become frictionless. Without well-chosen partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. The e-tailers factor is backward-compatible. The intra-granular, user-centric compliance factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to redefine vertically than to innovate proactively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-micro-vertically than to incubate wirelessly. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to transform compellingly. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. We will enable the capacity of architectures to synthesize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will repurpose the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Without C2C, you will lack wireless innovative, customized micro-bandwidth. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging systems? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to reinvent compellingly. We will matrix the industry jargon "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen cyber-networks, social networks are forced to become turn-key. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you streamline transparently, you may have to seize extensibly. If you synergize intra-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack magnetic reporting. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "deliverables" really mean?