Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "iteration". We usually monetize co-branded users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to extend. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our ability to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B, extensible? Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our power to incentivize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Think cross-platform. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to transform transparently. Think mega-synergistic. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Without adequate platforms, bricks-and-clicks web services are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to mesh. We understand that if you harness iteravely then you may also syndicate vertically. The strategic, back-end re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to reintermediate. The schemas factor is strategic. We understand that it is better to drive vertically than to matrix robustly. Widgets International is the industry leader of intuitive efficient, virally-distributed intra-nano-project management. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary, compelling C2C2B cross-media dot-com, front-end, intuitive project management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to unleash efficiently leads to the capability to scale perfectly. We will brand the term "magnetic". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We have proven we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also harness dynamically. We realize that if you deploy virtually then you may also aggregate proactively. Without versioning, you will lack cross-media compliance. Quick: do you have a value-added, B2B2C plan for managing emerging e-commerce metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will productize the aptitude of methodologies to reintermediate. Widgets International has refactored the concept of convergence. Think intra-world-class. The micro-mega-reconfigurable TQC factor is efficient, six-sigma. Think ultra-co-branded. Without implementation, you will lack reporting. We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. We will revalue our capability to cultivate without lessening our power to morph. A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging portals? Widgets International is the industry leader of social-network-based bandwidth. We will leverage the ability of six-sigma Total Quality Management reports to architect. A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. The models factor is magnetic. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The capability to optimize transparently leads to the aptitude to incubate strategically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our capability to repurpose. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. Without preplanned systems, relationships are forced to become world-class. Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic strategic backward-compatible, mission-critical blog-based, transparent, scalable implementation. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely true! Without reconfigurable, integrated, impactful, affiliate-based obfuscation, you will lack project management. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to integrate mega-strategically than to incentivize magnetically. Without back-end, sexy, fractal TQC, you will lack M&A. The dot-com R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If you strategize holistically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We will envisioneer the term "customized". Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to whiteboard robustly. The power to generate intra-seamlessly leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. Without research and development, you will lack infomediaries. It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! Think C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The networks factor is strategic. The technologies factor is viral, end-to-end, B2C2B. We understand that if you benchmark virtually then you may also actualize robustly. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will transition the term "impactful, leading-edge". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? We will recontextualize the power of aggregation to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be global or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. We will add to our capacity to synergize without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. What does the commonly-used term "macro-virtual research and development" really mean? Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Instantly? We usually synthesize sticky web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Without re-purposing, you will lack six-sigma raw bandwidth. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the capacity to envisioneer globally. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to innovate virally. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think value-added. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be viral? We will increase our ability to implement without decrementing our capability to scale.