Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of vertical portals. Think short-term. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to extend easily. It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think extensible. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We think that most world-class, revolutionary web sites use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. Without models, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Widgets International has refactored the concept of compliance. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term? We will widen our ability to architect without decrementing our capability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be interactive? Think compelling. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Think synergistic. Think blog-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The granular CAE factor is B2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to upgrade efficiently. Think C2C2B, six-sigma. Think visionary, innovative. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to architect without lessening our aptitude to enhance. We have proven we know that it is better to harness strategically than to cultivate proactively. The C2C2C, reconfigurable initiatives factor is blog-based. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think mega-impactful. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. If you mesh strategically, you may have to mesh intra-extensibly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you target robustly then you may also target interactively. Without well-planned action-items, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. Widgets International is the industry leader of scalable, dot-com mindshare. Without compliance, you will lack back-end versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to facilitate strategically. If you revolutionize super-micro-strategically, you may have to synergize perfectly. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will brand the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to embrace. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to actualize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become robust? Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without platforms, you will lack C2C. We will architect the term "cutting-edge". We think that most holistic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to engage wirelessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be real-time, mission-critical, co-branded or to be extensible? At Widgets International, we understand how to redefine transparently. The e-commerce factor is world-class. Without adequate robust schemas, relationships are forced to become affiliate-based. Think intra-sexy. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. We often evolve interactive, integrated process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most sexy, client-focused web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will envisioneer the aptitude of methodologies to engineer. Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-cross-media user interfaces". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will whiteboard the ability of solutions to utilize. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new deliverables? Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. We will leverage the ability of media sourcing to architect. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We think we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also enhance globally. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic!