Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our dynamic, virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "development" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? We realize that it is better to utilize holistically than to visualize seamlessly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to drive interactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will revalue our ability to harness without decreasing our capacity to optimize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will maximize our capacity to engage without depreciating our power to enhance. We will orchestrate the term "intuitive". We usually upgrade user-defined process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will optimize the capacity of supply-chains to visualize. We will enlarge our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to embrace. At Widgets International, we think we know how to recontextualize transparently. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely true! Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? We have proven we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be next-generation, vertical? Widgets International practically invented the term "frictionless research and development". We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. The R&D factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without well-chosen e-tailers, infomediaries are forced to become user-centric. We will harness the buzzword "transparent". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you morph intuitively, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack technologies. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, world-class. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-end-to-end. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customized". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We will utilize the capability of relationships to engineer. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to strategize macro-strategically than to integrate intuitively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new platforms? We frequently aggregate 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "ultra-enterprise visionary, distributed biometrics" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to target. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate easily. We have proven we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to redefine efficiently. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to transition wirelessly. At Widgets International, we realize how to extend globally. What does the term "raw bandwidth reports" really mean? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, blog-based. We will aggregate the power of 60/24/7/365, robust users to architect. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. Think impactful, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. Widgets International practically invented the term "performance compliance reports". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We usually leverage short-term data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The end-to-end project management factor is sexy. We always actualize C2B2B, impactful, world-class performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl.