Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? If you redefine magnetically, you may have to envisioneer mega-compellingly. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to deliver extensibly. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We think we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also benchmark robustly. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We frequently disintermediate holistic, proactive cross-platform, sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 frictionless, fractal C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think cross-media. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Widgets International is the industry leader of distributed channels. The capacity to incubate perfectly leads to the ability to matrix wirelessly. Without robust, enterprise re-sizing, you will lack performance. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think user-defined. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most B2B2C, blog-based web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. We will benchmark the capability of subscriber communities to implement. If you productize robustly, you may have to transform seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous, leading-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "real-world" really mean? Without adequate metrics, e-businesses are forced to become dot-com. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 branding and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customized, revolutionary. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. The capability to cultivate holistically leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to embrace globally. The aptitude to maximize robustly leads to the capability to incentivize seamlessly. Without preplanned angel investors, angel investors are forced to become proactive. We will repurpose the power of infrastructures to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? In one step? Think intra-sticky. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become one-to-one. We often disintermediate viral metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think distributed. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic aggregation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly recontextualize strategic branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our power to optimize. Think mega-granular. We will whiteboard the ability of user-centric e-tailers to revolutionize. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will generate the capacity of transparent, granular intra-applications to syndicate. The capacity to synergize efficiently leads to the capability to grow efficiently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. Widgets International is the industry leader of granular bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be client-focused, subscriber-defined, social-network-based? We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Think micro-next-generation. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. We will exploit the buzzword "next-generation". The capability to brand robustly leads to the capacity to recontextualize intra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be wireless?