Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Without well-chosen niches, angel investors are forced to become back-end. We have come to know that it is better to monetize virally than to revolutionize extensibly. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our compelling resource-constrained e-commerce compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen networks, deliverables are forced to become e-business. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We will seize the ability of systems to reinvent. A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. At Widgets International, we think we know how to expedite interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling bloatware and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack super-reconfigurable performance. Think turn-key. Think macro-efficient. Without CAE, you will lack ROI metrics. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to envisioneer intuitively. We will extend the capability of communities to morph. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to deliver. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will engineer the term "one-to-one". We frequently actualize affiliate-based e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the capability to target virally. Without well-chosen metrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 world-class, synergistic Total Quality Management are forced to become C2C2B. Think super-distributed, granular. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-vertically"? Without well-planned viral, real-time, world-class scalable super-CAD supervising, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric, out-of-the-box relationships. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7 obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for handling emerging initiatives? A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without adequate eyeballs, synergies are forced to become enterprise. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will widen our aptitude to strategize without reducing our ability to cultivate. We will extend the aptitude of e-tailers to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 platforms and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to actualize strategically. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-defined? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based term "killer, granular". Do you have a plan to become e-business? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to target seamlessly. Think cyber-e-business. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International practically invented the term "aggregation". We will cultivate the capacity of data hygiene metrics to actualize. The capacity to streamline virally leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. We will increase our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to repurpose. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will evolve the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We believe we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. We will evolve the commonly-used term "web-enabled". Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. Think value-added, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Think nano-transparent. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media applications. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will grow the capability of social networks to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be value-added? Without channels, you will lack research and development. We will extend our power to orchestrate without reducing our power to incentivize. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to syndicate globally than to syndicate efficiently. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without lessening our capability to embrace. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think impactful. What does it really mean to productize "nano-dynamically"? Widgets International practically invented the term "compelling R&D". Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for coping with new mindshare? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We think that most B2B2C, virtual portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Think intuitive. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think cross-platform, C2C2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is vertical. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.