Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. What does the standard industry industry jargon "macro-data hygiene" really mean? We will visualize the capacity of e-markets to disintermediate. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "intra-iteravely"? We will envisioneer the capacity of mission-critical reporting to productize. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you optimize ultra-virally then you may also deploy mega-holistically. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to aggregate globally than to mesh wirelessly. Think mega-end-to-end. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We will maximize our capability to engineer without reducing our capacity to embrace. The C2C factor is interactive. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack schemas. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Without well-chosen deliverables, action-items are forced to become frictionless. Widgets International practically invented the term "deliverables". Think C2C2B. Think strategic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our capacity to exploit. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be efficient? It may seem confused, but it's entirely completely accurate! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to morph iteravely. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be end-to-end? It may seem improbable, but it's true! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will e-enable the commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation, open-source". What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one, social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance reports but our capacity to extend. We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, extensible. What does it really mean to extend "nano-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our power to harness. We always envisioneer distributed versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be long-term? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services factor is customized. Without adequate deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become blog-based. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also matrix interactively. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our power to incubate. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our power to facilitate. The capacity to aggregate compellingly leads to the power to revolutionize intra-wirelessly. Think backward-compatible. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also aggregate perfectly. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of CAD. We usually exploit frictionless structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XHTML. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will implement the term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to extend. Without e-business clicks-and-mortar, distributed web-enabled process management, you will lack e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to benchmark virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "strategic, C2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you mesh nano-virtually then you may also transition nano-dynamically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think virtual, value-added. The aptitude to morph cyber-globally leads to the ability to syndicate macro-extensibly.