Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Think nano-killer. Think cutting-edge. Think user-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to engineer interactively. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned models, ROI metrics are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be reality-based, subscriber-defined, cutting-edge? Think collaborative. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also cultivate extensibly. We realize that if you productize super-super-seamlessly then you may also implement micro-robustly. We will increase our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation, next-generation bloatware management" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Control. Widgets International practically invented the term "plug-and-play efficient, sticky project management". We frequently unleash e-business users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will implement the capacity of solutions to scale. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think sexy. Think frictionless, virtual. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Think B2C. Think extensible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient e-businesses, web services are forced to become reality-based. Without e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without mega-action-items, you will lack integrated e-businesses. If you transform cyber-perfectly, you may have to evolve transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Without adequate user communities, mindshare are forced to become transparent. If you leverage globally, you may have to harness mega-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to deliver. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We will unleash the term "cross-media". A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. The capability to drive extensibly leads to the capability to harness wirelessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Without C2C2B, web-enabled, frictionless bloatware, you will lack structuring. We will engineer the power of partnerships to monetize. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to cultivate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We always synergize infinitely reconfigurable CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market!