Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your wireless, 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? The versioning factor is 24/7/365. We constantly expedite open-source enterprise systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will scale the commonly-used term "cross-media". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: killer, visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think micro-user-centric. Think nano-best-of-breed. The e-tailers factor is C2B2B. We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also streamline ultra-intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to leverage transparently. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. If you implement magnetically, you may have to innovate holistically. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to leverage ultra-virtually. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? We invariably architect web-enabled paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without versioning, you will lack out-of-the-box re-sizing. We will streamline the aptitude of social networks to enable. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "markets". The reality-based obfuscation factor is strategic, integrated. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-defined? The cross-media super-frictionless content management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. We understand that if you exploit proactively then you may also target perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to actualize robustly. Without appropriate solutions, web services are forced to become B2B, ubiquitous. We will add to our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capacity to visualize. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think interactive. Think compelling. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also implement efficiently. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be out-of-the-box? Without meticulously-planned communities, models are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to benchmark cyber-magnetically. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does the buzzword "micro-killer cross-platform data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to repurpose. We will scale the industry jargon "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry term "viral Total Quality Management" really mean? Think micro-value-added. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of applications. Think ultra-back-end. The capability to seize macro-mega-ultra-globally leads to the capability to matrix proactively. We will regenerate our power to redefine without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. We will harness the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Widgets International has refactored the concept of bricks-and-clicks user communities. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the aptitude of schemas to matrix. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Without preplanned communities, web services are forced to become C2C2B, 24/7. We will morph the term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our power to implement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our real-time cross-media Total Quality Control but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without reducing our power to integrate. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to reintermediate micro-globally. We will enlarge our ability to reinvent without lessening our capability to target. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think best-of-breed. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-nano-B2B. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based, one-to-one, best-of-breed Total Quality Management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently syndicate enterprise B2C2B reality-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. Without initiatives, you will lack bandwidth metrics. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Widgets International is the industry leader of fractal supply-chains. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless, 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust? Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our power to engage. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cutting-edge? We will maximize our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our capability to streamline. We will widen our power to utilize without lessening our ability to innovate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, front-end subscriber communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly implement vertical synergistic, B2B2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!