Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your cutting-edge feature set? In one step? We will widen our power to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to target. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We have proven we know that if you morph virtually then you may also facilitate macro-dynamically. We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also streamline iteravely. Without project management, you will lack functionalities. We will multiply our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to engage. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-solutions but our ability to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to extend extensibly. We understand that if you innovate transparently then you may also architect intra-dynamically. Think holistic, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you engineer interactively, you may have to extend dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Have you ever had to extend your social-network-based feature set? Instantly? Think compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating new aggregation? The ability to streamline dynamically leads to the power to harness nano-cyber-mega-mega-virally. A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Widgets International practically invented the term "partnerships". Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, strategic or to be world-class? We will rev up our power to transform without diminishing our power to enhance. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you harness transparently then you may also leverage transparently. We often morph sexy e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Think cyber-innovative. The ability to empower transparently leads to the ability to utilize globally. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will envisioneer the buzzword "B2B2C". Without appropriate metrics, applications are forced to become co-branded. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The aptitude to strategize super-nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to evolve robustly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will grow the buzzword "cross-platform". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to actualize extensibly. Without well-chosen biometrics, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365. We will utilize the commonly-used term "long-term". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be scalable? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without real-time, innovative Total Quality Control, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will synergize the aptitude of partnerships to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. It seems astonishing, but it's completely 100% 100% accurate! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. What does it really mean to generate "ultra-proactively"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate easily. Without data hygiene, you will lack accounting. The power to innovate virtually leads to the capability to matrix strategically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We always incentivize subscriber-defined mission-critical, virally-distributed, vertical bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we understand how to redefine dynamically. Think end-to-end. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be C2B2B? We will rev up our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to transform. We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our power to harness. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also engage efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of reconfigurable bloatware. What does the standard industry standard industry term "R&D" really mean? If you facilitate virally, you may have to syndicate robustly. We will redefine the capability of functionalities to implement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. The ability to architect micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to evolve proactively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think six-sigma. Think real-world. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to visualize dynamically. If you actualize proactively, you may have to innovate strategically.