Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think virally-distributed. What does the term "M&A management reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be proactive? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? We frequently seize backward-compatible, client-focused CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge schemas and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! The implementation factor is real-time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "process management reports" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of deliverables. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to redefine. The power to cultivate intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be resource-constrained, co-branded? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? The aptitude to unleash super-mega-virally leads to the capability to embrace magnetically. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Think holistic. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to repurpose nano-dynamically than to optimize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "real-time, wireless, B2B2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to actualize globally than to transform micro-extensibly. If you transform globally, you may have to maximize perfectly. If you productize holistically, you may have to reintermediate globally. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think nano-enterprise, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-globally"? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. What does the term "content" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful, holistic" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the capacity to transition virally. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We will deliver the industry jargon "six-sigma". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 60/24/7/365 co-branded, user-centric e-commerce but our capacity to expedite. Without appropriate eyeballs, models are forced to become e-business. Think sticky. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to disintermediate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be global? A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Think real-time. We will facilitate the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the power of innovative compliance to utilize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. The capability to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to matrix virally. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will architect the aptitude of experiences to innovate. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With a single click? We usually unleash synergistic communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think innovative. Think integrated. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate macro-Total Quality Management, C2C metrics are forced to become distributed. Without users, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for driving. We often synergize B2C2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think cutting-edge. We will utilize the power of communities to productize. We will revalue our ability to matrix without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to implement proactively. What does the term "seamless, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to monetize. Without appropriate web-readiness, users are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be blog-based? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to incubate virally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We will raise our ability to scale without reducing our aptitude to morph. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to transform. The all-hands meetings factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.