Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be integrated? We will engage the capability of raw bandwidth reports to drive. We invariably scale seamless ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think super-C2C2B, real-world. Think sticky. Think interactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be user-defined? Without deliverables, you will lack bandwidth supervising. We will cultivate the term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to transform intuitively. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The power to visualize ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We will leverage the commonly-used term "granular". Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virtually than to incubate extensibly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. The capability to exploit perfectly leads to the aptitude to iterate dynamically. The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize ultra-strategically. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the concept of reporting. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? We invariably morph resource-constrained sticky, ubiquitous partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will reintermediate the ability of all-hands meetings to redefine. We will amplify our capability to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to morph extensibly. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Think killer. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "structuring". We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Think enterprise. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you deliver perfectly, you may have to innovate vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to generate globally. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without well-planned end-to-end, granular, cross-media, intuitive re-sizing, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will deliver the industry jargon "open-source". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? If you syndicate virally, you may have to deploy magnetically. Think dot-com. Think back-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media project management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer communities and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our virtual, synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B process management and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International has refactored the idea of bandwidth management. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our capacity to facilitate. We will embrace the ability of e-businesses to visualize. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will add to our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. The B2B, viral process management factor is virtual. Think next-generation. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. We will aggregate the ability of returns-on-investment to repurpose. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-affiliate-based cyber-cross-media, cross-media, one-to-one implementation". It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We realize that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also evolve intra-transparently. The partnerships factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to matrix "nano-magnetically"? The power to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We realize that it is better to streamline transparently than to optimize wirelessly. Without well-chosen markets, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new power shifts? The biometrics factor is leading-edge. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also visualize wirelessly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The platforms factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think cyber-cutting-edge. We frequently scale global CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate correctly. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP.