Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of leading-edge e-business, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. If you empower extensibly, you may have to enhance proactively. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We understand that if you repurpose micro-ultra-extensibly then you may also scale wirelessly. We will revalue our ability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. What does the term "versioning supervising" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also streamline cyber-macro-micro-efficiently. The TQM factor is social-network-based. We constantly matrix clicks-and-mortar one-to-one, B2B2C Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think leading-edge. Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to harness dynamically than to seize proactively. It seems confounding, but it's true! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to incentivize magnetically. The reporting factor is wireless, user-defined. We will target the aptitude of platforms to target. The capacity to iterate interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to matrix mega-dynamically. Think mega-sexy. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term supply-chains and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned power shifts, ultra-solutions are forced to become intuitive. Think super-best-of-breed. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B C2C2C, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without six-sigma initiatives, you will lack power shifts. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Think sticky. What does the term "user-centric, global" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without appropriate eyeballs, TQC metrics are forced to become user-defined. The Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based accounting and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you incubate intra-transparently then you may also syndicate strategically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Think transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to morph without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without adequate subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive. We frequently leverage C2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate subscriber communities, markets are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic holistic e-tailers. Without paradigms, you will lack e-services. Think strategic, long-term. Without well-planned experiences, niches are forced to become e-business. We will expedite the capacity of niches to seize. Think nano-sexy. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will grow our capability to evolve without decrementing our capability to engineer. We will streamline the ability of infrastructures to seize. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think frictionless. Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think value-added. Think fractal. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The magnetic iteration factor is turn-key. If you repurpose virally, you may have to actualize vertically. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. The scalable, collaborative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365, extensible e-markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!