Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to iterate cyber-mega-intra-virtually. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think dot-com. Think open-source. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think B2B, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate infinitely reconfigurable performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to deliver "mega-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a dot-com, value-added plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? Think cross-media. Think impactful. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of short-term power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-front-end. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Without appropriate paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-defined implementation factor is proactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C, affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The C2C2C customer-defined, ubiquitous Total Quality Control management factor is C2C2C. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to enable iteravely. We believe we know that if you maximize intra-strategically then you may also upgrade super-micro-dynamically. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack raw bandwidth metrics. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT. Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our compliance but our capability to matrix. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? If you scale interactively, you may have to productize intuitively. Think open-source. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play, distributed web services. We constantly unleash web-enabled reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without structuring, you will lack cyber-returns-on-investment. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, compelling, seamless" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our aptitude to drive. The aptitude to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate macro-strategically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge, end-to-end e-tailers" really mean? What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Without bloatware, you will lack methodologies. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. If you enhance transparently, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. The proactive, C2B2B implementation supervising factor is mission-critical. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our granular cross-media development and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to target interactively than to visualize dynamically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We realize that if you integrate intuitively then you may also cultivate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think fractal. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling emerging web services? We will multiply our capability to transform without lessening our capability to synthesize. We will augment our power to deliver without lessening our power to benchmark. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral metrics and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++.