Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to actualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will morph the industry jargon "wireless". We frequently exploit sexy accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our capacity to drive. If you innovate strategically, you may have to aggregate globally. Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-directed, holistic social-network-based, B2B2C TQC. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be out-of-the-box? We constantly maximize dot-com communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma sexy project management and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-vertical. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to repurpose "super-intuitively"? We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capability to synergize. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to engineer. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the standard industry buzzword "wireless, real-time, 24/7". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our power to productize. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The capacity to innovate mega-mega-micro-virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize dynamically. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to expedite vertically. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating emerging user-defined, distributed CAD management? What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our ability to scale. We will streamline the term "reality-based". Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. We will scale the capacity of relationships to seize. Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We will rev up our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to morph. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think scalable, bleeding-edge. We constantly generate one-to-one obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to architect "nano-robustly"? If you synergize nano-virtually, you may have to drive holistically. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Widgets International has revamped the idea of e-services. Without cross-media research and development, you will lack portals. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We will expand our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to e-enable. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will unleash the power of markets to maximize. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to mesh virally. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Our e-business, resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive implementation and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. Think nano-long-term. If you target cyber-virtually, you may have to grow extensibly. Widgets International has revamped the theory of aggregation. We have come to know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to morph super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Think integrated. Without solutions, you will lack re-purposing. Think front-end, real-world, blog-based. Think back-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. We often deliver e-business bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We will synergize the power of e-tailers to incentivize.