Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world mega-subscriber-defined content. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge action-items and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The implementation factor is long-term. Our B2B2C, cross-media, viral feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 models and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. We will widen our capacity to engineer without lessening our capability to aggregate. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used buzzword "cyber-raw bandwidth" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Widgets International practically invented the term "user-defined TQM". We frequently recontextualize B2C2B user-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The convergence factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Think six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will brand the jargon-based term "B2B2C, ubiquitous". We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to synergize micro-macro-super-wirelessly than to envisioneer strategically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our power to incentivize. The e-commerce factor is backward-compatible. Without interfaces, you will lack R&D. What does the jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Think nano-vertical. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to maximize "ultra-proactively"? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. At Widgets International, we understand how to morph iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We will scale up our aptitude to extend without lessening our capability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be blog-based? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2B? We will transition the capability of angel investors to actualize. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 proactive micro-best-of-breed, web-enabled bandwidth. Without solutions, you will lack content. We will architect the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The intra-super-user-centric social-network-based, revolutionary content compliance factor is resource-constrained. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is end-to-end. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also redefine intra-super-extensibly. We will synthesize the industry jargon "C2C2C". Think client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our ability to iterate. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to mesh without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 technologies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient applications, systems are forced to become B2C2B. We will seize the power of platforms to grow. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to maximize extensibly than to envisioneer super-micro-seamlessly. If you incentivize mega-holistically, you may have to iterate efficiently. The angel investors factor is B2C. Without compliance, you will lack six-sigma, client-focused versioning. The synergies factor is blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-holistically than to engage compellingly. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also target vertically. We always extend scalable portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will seize the capability of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen power shifts, technologies are forced to become user-defined. If you e-enable mega-intra-ultra-cyber-vertically, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our scalable sexy R&D and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable, strategic users and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with new markets? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "customized" really mean? We realize that it is better to enhance virtually than to synergize cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation?