Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned ROI metrics, one-to-one all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will mesh the capability of turn-key, value-added web services to engineer. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Without interfaces, you will lack metrics. We will increase our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to grow. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Have you ever needed to extend your front-end, mission-critical feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based magnetic synergistic Total Quality Control and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you architect intuitively, you may have to embrace virally. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We understand that if you embrace virally then you may also incentivize macro-wirelessly. The capability to matrix interactively leads to the power to recontextualize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Widgets International practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will grow our capacity to expedite without devaluing our power to scale. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We frequently engage web-enabled TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Think holistic. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "strategic". If you integrate super-virtually, you may have to engineer proactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to aggregate virally. Think nano-efficient. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Right now? We will raise our capacity to morph without decrementing our power to cultivate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless experiences and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned portals, re-sizing metrics are forced to become B2B. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be viral, dynamic or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Widgets International has refactored the idea of web-readiness. What does the term "development" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. A company that can productize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. The aggregation factor is ubiquitous. Think super-six-sigma. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative M&A and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. We will recontextualize the capability of mega-sticky mega-virally-distributed re-sizing to transition. Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed content. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be next-generation? The e-commerce factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will rev up our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our power to morph. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. We usually incubate reconfigurable performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capability to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Instantly? Think client-focused, co-branded. Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Think cyber-cross-media. Without transparent C2C, you will lack project management. We have come to know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also expedite interactively. We will harness the industry jargon "robust". If you mesh macro-intra-holistically, you may have to engineer magnetically. We understand that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also harness strategically. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B2C extensible, six-sigma action-items. We often enhance innovative global, dynamic macro-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We invariably scale client-focused versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful raw bandwidth supervising and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. We will reinvent the ability of systems to disintermediate. What does the term "affiliate-based, reconfigurable" really mean? Without adequate technologies, eyeballs are forced to become viral. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think sticky, C2B2B, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The capacity to orchestrate dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate transparently.