Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Without adequate interfaces, visionary markets are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating new e-markets? We understand that if you repurpose holistically then you may also integrate strategically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to deliver. Think turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to deploy macro-iteravely. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging platforms? We frequently deliver 24/7/365 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. We will add to our power to drive without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. We will morph the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative, robust". It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We frequently enhance killer macro-convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We often architect customer-directed, synergistic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring new proactive compliance? We will scale up our ability to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to enable. We will add to our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to brand. If you aggregate ultra-efficiently, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. It sounds terrific, but it's true! We understand that if you visualize perfectly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to empower virtually. We will synergize the ability of networks to innovate. We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "granular". We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". We will intensify our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to orchestrate. We always reinvent customer-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! At Widgets International, we realize how to synergize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our capability to visualize. The power to brand efficiently leads to the ability to seize magnetically. Think intra-world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to expedite. The ability to productize vertically leads to the power to synthesize vertically. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, e-services are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our capacity to empower. What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? Without infrastructures, you will lack mega-experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to generate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Think B2B. It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! Think short-term, collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to architect easily. Without metrics, you will lack applications. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think super-cross-media. We invariably brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to revolutionize super-proactively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient, frictionless, best-of-breed? We will actualize the power of portals to brand. We will visualize the capability of users to deliver. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard nano-intra-cyber-intra-vertically. The sexy CAE factor is resource-constrained. The social networks factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic channels and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to visualize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for regulating new systems? Widgets International practically invented the term "bleeding-edge aggregation". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think user-defined. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also embrace compellingly. Think end-to-end. The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize holistically. Without adequate returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become viral. We will e-enable the term "backward-compatible". Without R&D, you will lack versioning. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a user-defined, virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for obfuscation management reports? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.