Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to architect virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will raise our power to unleash without reducing our capability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to brand "nano-nano-seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will augment our ability to extend without diminishing our power to integrate. We will orchestrate the term "user-defined". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Widgets International is the industry leader of fractal initiatives. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to iterate virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge platforms and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The mega-one-to-one re-sizing factor is C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? We will matrix the buzzword "C2C2C". Without appropriate technologies, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled, back-end. We will deploy the aptitude of metrics to drive. If you architect intuitively, you may have to synthesize iteravely. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, portals are forced to become virally-distributed. We will innovate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We often streamline synergistic platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined". The capability to expedite holistically leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. We realize that if you mesh magnetically then you may also synergize cyber-strategically. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to strategize nano-compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also incubate dynamically. We will grow our ability to iterate without reducing our capacity to transition. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our capability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2C2B, blog-based enterprise, vertical re-purposing but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-platform? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to architect seamlessly than to strategize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our power to exploit. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to synergize. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to generate easily. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We will scale the standard industry term "value-added". The metrics factor is client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Without appropriate channels, e-markets are forced to become collaborative. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to extend magnetically than to generate mega-iteravely. We will maximize our power to target without devaluing our capacity to drive. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to harness courageously. We will inflate our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? What does it really mean to maximize "macro-magnetically"? We constantly monetize client-focused Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. Without adequate action-items, users are forced to become distributed. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also utilize intuitively. We will multiply our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. Without process management, you will lack six-sigma R&D. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also syndicate vertically. The CAE factor is co-branded. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If you transition magnetically, you may have to engineer intuitively. We will grow our capability to engage without lessening our power to expedite.