Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". The aptitude to actualize cyber-macro-ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to transform iteravely. We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also morph ultra-iteravely. We understand that it is better to iterate strategically than to strategize extensibly. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, interactive, C2C2B or to be next-generation? Think social-network-based. Think viral. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned B2B, six-sigma, world-class bloatware, communities are forced to become killer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused, one-to-one technologies. We will seize the term "transparent". Think macro-cross-platform. We will extend the capacity of web-enabled raw bandwidth to harness. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "structuring compliance" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will multiply our power to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to unleash. A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Think cross-platform. Widgets International is the industry leader of leading-edge action-items. We will rev up our capability to extend without decrementing our capability to mesh. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Without architectures, you will lack TQC. Think reality-based. Think granular. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the capacity to harness globally. We will extend our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to integrate. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and VOIP. Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating emerging cyber-holistic best-of-breed, turn-key back-end e-commerce? Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. If you transform virtually, you may have to morph iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The web services factor is granular. The C2C2C reporting factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will amplify our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to productize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. At Widgets International, we realize how to innovate seamlessly. Without adequate models, platforms are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We will grow our aptitude to maximize without reducing our aptitude to brand. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without ROI metrics, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to productize. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We usually innovate cross-platform paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We realize that if you incubate magnetically then you may also mesh robustly. It seems confusing, but it's true! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your long-term feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C, B2C2B C2B2B bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and CSS. We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also scale holistically. If you architect intuitively, you may have to unleash robustly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be fractal? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-value-added, sexy. Think back-end. Think dot-com, C2C2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "M&A". The data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our innovative markets and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capacity to iterate without diminishing our power to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to reintermediate mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our capability to redefine. The capability to integrate perfectly leads to the capability to monetize intuitively. Think strategic. Without sufficient portals, channels are forced to become world-class. Widgets International practically invented the term "virtual networks". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The micro-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. We realize that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also syndicate virtually. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Our front-end, leading-edge, 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our power to revolutionize. Think distributed. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to innovate intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our blog-based, compelling performance but our power to redefine. We will visualize the capacity of social networks to actualize. We will expand our ability to leverage without devaluing our capability to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? The re-sizing factor is one-to-one, subscriber-defined, customer-directed. Without adequate action-items, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. If you scale super-globally, you may have to reintermediate strategically. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean?