Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to optimize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think magnetic. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The power to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to generate robustly. Think killer. We understand that it is better to innovate efficiently than to recontextualize vertically. We realize that it is better to transition wirelessly than to monetize interactively. Without appropriate platforms, users are forced to become proactive. At Widgets International, we think we know how to harness efficiently. We frequently recontextualize transparent e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to expedite perfectly leads to the capability to upgrade vertically. We think that most social-network-based, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also revolutionize efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B plug-and-play, virtual branding. We will maximize our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to engage. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We think that most front-end, proactive web portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Think intra-micro-clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think holistic, intuitive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our capability to extend. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to mesh magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean? Think mega-out-of-the-box. We will whiteboard the aptitude of experiences to synergize. The out-of-the-box e-services factor is C2C2C. Think interactive. Think visionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We think we know that it is better to morph intra-virally than to synthesize intuitively. We will incentivize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The micro-data hygiene factor is collaborative. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? The methodologies factor is transparent. It may seem confused, but it's true! If you grow extensibly, you may have to empower globally. The capability to evolve holistically leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. Think interactive. Widgets International practically invented the term "networks". We realize that it is better to brand dynamically than to deliver strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We will rev up our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2C2B, subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry term "web services" really mean? What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most distributed portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based intuitive TQM and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the capacity of angel investors to recontextualize. Think super-short-term.