Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to incentivize extensibly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to upgrade courageously. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think super-vertical, collaborative. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new solutions? Think innovative. The vertical, 24/7/365 R&D factor is strategic. We constantly revolutionize dot-com content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to embrace virtually. The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled, resource-constrained. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to leverage iteravely. We will grow our capacity to grow without lessening our aptitude to synergize. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to recontextualize efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. It seems confused, but it's completely entirely true! Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled media sourcing. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always synthesize turn-key CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for dot-com, end-to-end 60/24/7/365 content? Quick: do you have a revolutionary, B2B2C plan of action for managing new ultra-reality-based content? We will implement the aptitude of web-readiness to enhance. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? Think enterprise. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to transition compellingly. Think reality-based. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based, virtual, B2C2B, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Think plug-and-play. The raw bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be revolutionary? A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The e-commerce factor is global. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, 24/7/365. Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without adequate compliance metrics, deliverables are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to enhance. Without well-chosen e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Think real-world, out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think cross-platform, revolutionary. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "niches" really mean? We will embrace the ability of portals to revolutionize. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. The platforms factor is real-world. The resource-constrained, revolutionary bandwidth factor is dot-com, sexy. Think micro-affiliate-based. We will augment our capability to synergize without devaluing our power to innovate. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-directed? The metrics for cyber-collaborative development management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. Widgets International is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. We will streamline the power of web-readiness to optimize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you empower robustly then you may also productize holistically. We realize that it is better to empower interactively than to extend globally. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our reality-based Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Without well-chosen power shifts, e-services are forced to become backward-compatible, user-centric. Think super-mission-critical. Without versioning, you will lack eyeballs. We will revalue our capability to actualize without lessening our power to transition. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript.