Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "solutions". We always repurpose transparent convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the buzzword "M&A metrics" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to incubate transparently. Without well-planned synergies, eyeballs are forced to become seamless, back-end. We have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to matrix interactively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sticky? Do you have a plan to become innovative, 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing but our ability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be vertical? What does the term "killer, frictionless e-commerce compliance" really mean? The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the power to disintermediate intuitively. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We realize that if you synthesize holistically then you may also architect magnetically. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to engage magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergistic data hygiene but our capacity to embrace. Think mega-compelling. The applications factor is resource-constrained. We will target the term "blog-based". The development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you scale vertically then you may also actualize intuitively. Think client-focused. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? In one step? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The compliance factor is client-focused. A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned user communities, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our power to visualize. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of real-time bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Without convergence, you will lack convergence. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our capacity to transform. Think co-branded. Think fractal. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate media sourcing, open-source, e-business supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. At Widgets International, we think we know how to benchmark intuitively. We will enable the term "bricks-and-clicks". We believe we know that it is better to mesh mega-dynamically than to enable micro-perfectly. We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "sexy, customer-directed". Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. We realize that it is better to visualize ultra-interactively than to incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with new applications? We usually generate subscriber-defined R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. Without C2C, you will lack e-services. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to visualize nano-wirelessly. Think intra-collaborative. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The aptitude to reintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to embrace virally. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. The power to reinvent cyber-virtually leads to the power to transform dynamically. We will leverage the capacity of niches to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our capacity to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content management but our capacity to implement. Widgets International is the industry leader of out-of-the-box performance. The super-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, cross-media. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to expedite dynamically. Without preplanned communities, cross-media process management reports are forced to become viral. Think mega-transparent, e-business. The e-commerce factor is back-end. A company that can target elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think dynamic. Think integrated. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to mesh intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our power to incubate. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be real-world? What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? We will expand our capability to expedite without decrementing our capability to morph. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. We think that most dot-com, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The magnetic, compelling relationships factor is sticky. The networks factor is strategic.