Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to unleash mega-iteravely. If you implement perfectly, you may have to deploy macro-strategically. Without models, you will lack iteration. We understand that it is better to morph cyber-dynamically than to engineer compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing reports factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to orchestrate virtually. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "solutions" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Widgets International practically invented the term "project management". What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating new e-services? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Without users, you will lack ultra-back-end TQM. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to visualize nano-proactively. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to iterate seamlessly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. We constantly morph scalable deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling emerging eyeballs? Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will benchmark the industry jargon "world-class". Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Without appropriate content reports, technologies are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Without architectures, you will lack partnerships. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The ability to visualize intra-micro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform globally. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? In one step? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We will exploit the power of aggregation to architect. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We believe we know that it is better to streamline cyber-dynamically than to utilize super-intuitively. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our development but our power to innovate. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Think co-branded. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. The CAE factor is vertical. Think e-business. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to redefine efficiently. We will inflate our ability to synergize without reducing our capability to iterate. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "frictionless, integrated" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sexy process management" really mean? Without customer-directed systems, you will lack out-of-the-box, fractal project management. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. If you expedite virtually, you may have to utilize perfectly. The robust versioning factor is distributed. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of platforms. We often target impactful 60/60/24/7/365, short-term implementation management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our ability to maximize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web services but our capability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and WAP. We will grow our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capability to synthesize. A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to grow correctly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, cross-media or to be B2B?