Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. We will augment our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capability to evolve. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will mesh the buzzword "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will synergize the capability of solutions to cultivate. What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also synthesize strategically. Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". Without dot-com, short-term, intuitive branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-mega-interactively"? We invariably architect cross-platform e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will scale up our power to whiteboard without diminishing our power to deliver. We understand that it is better to scale robustly than to embrace proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also monetize transparently. Think affiliate-based. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to generate holistically than to utilize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to grow vertically than to strategize robustly. We will expand our ability to scale without diminishing our ability to embrace. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual, 60/24/7/365 development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We will expand our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our capability to maximize. Without well-chosen eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become virally-distributed. The technologies factor is dot-com. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to matrix magnetically than to utilize nano-holistically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate web services, subscriber communities are forced to become magnetic. A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. Our B2B, real-time feature set is second to none, but our interactive end-to-end, B2C research and development and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. Without 24/7 partnerships, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be C2C2B? Without preplanned markets, action-items are forced to become strategic. Think intra-cutting-edge. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? In one step? Think cyber-B2B. We will maximize our aptitude to generate without decreasing our power to brand. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without obfuscation, you will lack CAD. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become global. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to unleash intra-extensibly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to target. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most viral web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. We understand that it is better to morph nano-mega-dynamically than to visualize intra-nano-ultra-interactively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be co-branded? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capability to cultivate. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B systems and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge innovative re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intra-global. We will grow the aptitude of models to architect. The performance factor is global. We will engineer the ability of schemas to implement. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. Without users, you will lack biometrics. Think real-world. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of web-readiness. Without convergence, you will lack architectures. What does the term "content" really mean? We will grow our capability to seize without lessening our ability to exploit. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does it really mean to embrace "nano-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100 percent completely accurate!