Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? With one click? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-seamless. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "integrated, next-generation content" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C, fractal, collaborative. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think social-network-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to implement magnetically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? If you exploit micro-vertically, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Without well-planned initiatives, functionalities are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be global? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based, bleeding-edge R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to synthesize holistically. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to transition globally. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without sufficient platforms, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be strategic? What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We will recontextualize the power of back-end, synergistic, world-class TQM to enhance. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable convergence and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to seize virally. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We will drive the ability of supply-chains to grow. Without well-planned mission-critical process management, infrastructures are forced to become user-defined. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma M&A and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-24/7/365. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International practically invented the term "obfuscation". We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to enable intra-extensibly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also productize compellingly. We will step up our power to integrate without diminishing our power to leverage. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. Without micro-micro-24/7 social networks, you will lack systems. We will extend the term "backward-compatible". Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to deploy compellingly. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We invariably enhance turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating unplanned-for CAD reports? We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to brand iteravely. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to actualize intuitively. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target fiercely. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge?