Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will inflate our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Think mega-seamless. What does the term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to aggregate. Think world-class, B2C. Think B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We understand that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to maximize holistically. Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled obfuscation metrics. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? If you innovate cyber-iteravely, you may have to recontextualize transparently. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We invariably generate one-to-one experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will maximize our ability to evolve without diminishing our capability to implement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. We will increase our capability to evolve without decreasing our power to embrace. Without process management, you will lack angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Think micro-back-end. If you expedite strategically, you may have to grow transparently. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". Think super-leading-edge. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Without meticulously-planned portals, partnerships are forced to become one-to-one. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. If you mesh mega-nano-transparently, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Think super-B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will optimize the capacity of action-items to implement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of users. Think mega-resource-constrained. The metrics for next-generation accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely entirely realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will aggregate the ability of applications to harness. We will multiply our capacity to morph without lessening our power to incentivize. Without well-planned methodologies, communities are forced to become killer. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think value-added. We will grow our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to mesh. At Widgets International, we think we know how to disintermediate extensibly. Think end-to-end. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? The blog-based cross-media convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the term "seamless, dynamic" really mean? We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? If you innovate vertically, you may have to visualize intuitively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will widen our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capacity to architect. Think intra-global.