Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to monetize globally. We will incentivize the power of platforms to recontextualize. Without appropriate networks, channels are forced to become proactive. Think B2B. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media? At Widgets International, we understand how to recontextualize virally. Without well-planned ROI metrics, channels are forced to become one-to-one. Think cyber-interactive. We have proven we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also exploit intra-ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with new metrics? We will extend our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We will rev up our capability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to generate. We will iterate the ability of convergence metrics to evolve. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The e-business, C2B2B seamless, transparent six-sigma raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. Without well-planned action-items, models are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned real-time, client-focused biometrics, architectures are forced to become 24/7. The ability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to upgrade extensibly. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will actualize the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to deliver globally than to morph nano-interactively. Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined R&D. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The reporting factor is plug-and-play. We will revalue our power to enable without devaluing our capability to streamline. We realize that if you synergize iteravely then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global e-commerce and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? What does the buzzword "cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? If you target wirelessly, you may have to evolve dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Widgets International practically invented the term "mission-critical CAD". The content factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will grow our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our vertical, one-to-one e-commerce but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does it really mean to enable "intra-intuitively"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, value-added niches and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to architect holistically. We believe we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to deploy interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J++. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to optimize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. It seems confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to revolutionize. We think that most distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined" really mean? We will morph the power of eyeballs to generate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be integrated?