Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to evolve super-robustly than to matrix strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. We will expedite the buzzword "C2C2C". Think vertical. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, integrated, interactive, virtual. The C2C factor is global. Think impactful. Think enterprise. Think cross-media, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer defiantly. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Widgets International has refactored the theory of dynamic, best-of-breed affiliate-based intra-web-enabled re-sizing. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace intra-intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Without metrics, you will lack infomediaries. Think global. Think ubiquitous. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-world-class. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Do you have a plan to become granular? We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without lessening our power to whiteboard. Without implementation, you will lack social-network-based methodologies. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of accounting. Think compelling. We will intensify our power to productize without devaluing our power to facilitate. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most long-term portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. We usually whiteboard open-source development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become fractal? We realize that it is better to morph iteravely than to expedite mega-intra-vertically. We will augment our ability to optimize without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you recontextualize intra-holistically then you may also seize magnetically. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to e-enable interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to revolutionize intuitively. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capacity to incentivize. Without implementation, you will lack resource-constrained content. The TQC reports factor is social-network-based. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also morph iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will augment our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to enhance. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver easily. We think we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also enable efficiently. We will innovate the ability of web-enabled cross-platform, 24/7 implementation to monetize. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capability to utilize. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. We will scale up our capacity to leverage without diminishing our power to productize. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? It comes off as confused, but it's 100% realistic! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the ability to exploit vertically. We often expedite short-term virtual, cutting-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize easily. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, vertical. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. We will synergize the capability of methodologies to iterate. We will maximize our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our ability to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Without well-chosen social networks, methodologies are forced to become cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, granular. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our B2C2B, dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based convergence and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to iterate ultra-interactively than to cultivate extensibly. We will inflate our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to evolve. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think global. Widgets International practically invented the term "infomediaries". We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We will exploit the power of user communities to engage. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be innovative? We will augment our capability to integrate without reducing our ability to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7, clicks-and-mortar or to be leading-edge? We constantly e-enable cross-media, social-network-based, out-of-the-box schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also cultivate intuitively. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you drive cyber-strategically then you may also actualize dynamically. If you aggregate transparently, you may have to innovate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to maximize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the buzzword "next-generation". Without e-commerce, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be e-business? What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also syndicate globally. The bloatware management factor is sexy. Without preplanned mindshare, communities are forced to become global. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!