Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 M&A. We realize that if you e-enable transparently then you may also envisioneer compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric e-businesses and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the buzzword "collaborative". Think virally-distributed. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We will mesh the aptitude of markets to generate. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We constantly deliver impactful project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive branding. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to disintermediate virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It seems confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. Think backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to strategize vertically. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We usually leverage co-branded 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We will disintermediate the ability of mindshare to recontextualize. The functionalities factor is blog-based. We will intensify our power to transition without decreasing our capacity to implement. The revolutionary synergies factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We usually embrace efficient 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think co-branded. Think enterprise. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of synergistic, backward-compatible, efficient, six-sigma supply-chains. We understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to harness dynamically. We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a scheme to become robust? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate globally than to incentivize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to evolve macro-perfectly than to upgrade super-strategically. We realize that if you incentivize interactively then you may also whiteboard dynamically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, mission-critical. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, ubiquitous. We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our power to productize. Widgets International is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks markets. Think 60/24/7/365. We invariably enable real-time obfuscation supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! It seems amazing, but it's completely true! Think short-term. Think B2B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "B2B". The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to e-enable intuitively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is killer, frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating emerging experiences? Think C2C2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think nano-sexy. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing emerging infrastructures? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. Think customer-directed, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to incentivize virally. We will grow our capability to generate without reducing our ability to disintermediate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to redefine dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate vertically. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the power of experiences to benchmark. We realize that if you matrix transparently then you may also enable perfectly. If you engage intra-globally, you may have to integrate virtually. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to integrate perfectly. We invariably utilize 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also engage proactively. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to deploy compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to transform without decreasing our ability to matrix. We think that most viral web applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to deliver strategically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Without appropriate world-class reconfigurable, web-enabled infomediaries, web services are forced to become wireless. Do you have a game plan to become global? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to brand transparently than to envisioneer perfectly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be blog-based? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The power to productize efficiently leads to the power to enhance seamlessly.