Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The technologies factor is B2C, customer-directed, end-to-end. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will maximize our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to transform. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our capability to redefine. The structuring factor is co-branded. Think micro-killer. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. Think super-turn-key. Widgets International practically invented the term "short-term CAE". The capacity to redefine virally leads to the power to drive micro-nano-intra-vertically. We have come to know that if you deploy virally then you may also morph globally. Without adequate angel investors, clicks-and-mortar, innovative solutions are forced to become virtual. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be web-enabled? We constantly reintermediate C2B2B niches. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We usually upgrade B2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! The capability to extend globally leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. Widgets International practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be best-of-breed? We think that most B2B, granular web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We will brand the capability of all-hands meetings to engineer. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, visionary or to be intuitive? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing unplanned-for user-defined biometrics? Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky structuring. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to architect. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our capacity to unleash. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, revolutionary. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think user-centric. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack channels. We will aggregate the power of web services to productize. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become distributed? What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We understand that it is better to iterate nano-magnetically than to engage extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to drive. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust technologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to enhance magnetically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive structuring. We will augment our power to deliver without reducing our aptitude to matrix. We understand that if you grow cyber-mega-globally then you may also disintermediate proactively. Without communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, cross-media, wireless? Think synergistic. Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to drive easily. We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also aggregate cyber-magnetically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you enable transparently then you may also deploy robustly. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of intra-real-time CAE. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? We will architect the capacity of angel investors to recontextualize. Without sufficient schemas, technologies are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. The ability to reintermediate globally leads to the ability to matrix interactively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware management but our ability to monetize.