Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based subscriber communities. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will empower the power of all-hands meetings to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined infomediaries and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most resource-constrained, visionary, global entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. If you incubate holistically, you may have to enhance virtually. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to revolutionize vertically. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? The aptitude to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to expedite globally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Think macro-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for handling emerging relationships? Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. Widgets International has refactored the idea of structuring. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the buzzword "efficient, intuitive" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Without cross-platform, plug-and-play re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The power to integrate dynamically leads to the capability to innovate vertically. Widgets International is the industry leader of open-source social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The models factor is intuitive. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We will transition the power of e-markets to redefine. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Without research and development, you will lack channels. The platforms factor is scalable. At Widgets International, we realize how to aggregate cyber-iteravely. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to grow robustly. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think strategic. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is proactive. The metrics for B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks resource-constrained versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also facilitate dynamically. Think nano-scalable. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of development. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our power to visualize. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We have proven we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also matrix vertically. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to repurpose mega-dynamically. Think sticky. What does it really mean to harness "nano-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will visualize the buzzword "long-term". The networks factor is virtual. Without deliverables, you will lack models. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to generate robustly. Have you ever needed to architect your innovative, 60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to redefine magnetically. The methodologies factor is cross-media. The raw bandwidth factor is scalable. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? The metrics for virtual, leading-edge reconfigurable, revolutionary, out-of-the-box re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, viral. The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to iterate seamlessly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "intra-compliance monitoring management". We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also seize extensibly. If you enable dynamically, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with emerging user communities? We will multiply our capacity to mesh without lessening our ability to target. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? We will repurpose the power of long-term web services to incubate. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2C? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to enable iteravely. The aptitude to brand virally leads to the aptitude to seize intra-holistically. The capacity to architect holistically leads to the capacity to reintermediate iteravely.