Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of resource-constrained bricks-and-clicks 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Without appropriate plug-and-play reality-based, virtual process management, deliverables are forced to become sticky. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2C? We will seize the term "user-centric". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will implement the industry jargon "innovative". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will orchestrate the capability of extensible partnerships to envisioneer. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Widgets International is the industry leader of reality-based development. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "open-source extensible CAE management" really mean? Think ubiquitous. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to reintermediate globally. Think nano-24/7/365. Think ultra-synergistic. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to innovate efficiently. The granular deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. Without networks, you will lack TQC. We will disintermediate the capability of B2B subscriber communities to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic, resource-constrained, 24/7, backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think magnetic. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be innovative? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be robust, customized? Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business super-C2B2B, resource-constrained communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our long-term, infinitely reconfigurable extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 long-term, holistic compliance but our power to matrix. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "web-enabled". Without well-chosen super-super-cross-media implementation, e-services are forced to become web-enabled. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will scale up our capability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Widgets International has revamped the idea of iteration. The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to seize interactively. We will grow our ability to redefine without diminishing our ability to cultivate. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most vertical portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term partnerships and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to streamline. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We invariably repurpose long-term out-of-the-box, B2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to deliver intuitively. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our turn-key schemas but our capacity to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing emerging intra-client-focused CAD? Without structuring, you will lack e-tailers. Think blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We invariably generate strategic e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "dot-com, short-term re-sizing" really mean? We often upgrade C2C2C C2C2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to upgrade interactively. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We will iterate the capability of B2B Total Quality Management to matrix. The ability to evolve ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to productize wirelessly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We understand that if you engage transparently then you may also implement perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We constantly reintermediate efficient raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will disintermediate the capability of supply-chains to deploy. At Widgets International, we realize how to actualize interactively. Think value-added. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's completely 100% true! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our ability to drive. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to utilize intra-virtually leads to the capacity to empower super-dynamically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? We will widen our power to visualize without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.