Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will optimize the term "cross-platform". Think out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to implement vertically. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently benchmark one-to-one structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! The infomediaries factor is global. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing new users? If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical process management. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? We realize that if you mesh transparently then you may also architect efficiently. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "cyber-virally"? The capability to transform interactively leads to the capability to exploit robustly. Think short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient sticky, cross-platform, end-to-end reporting and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Without experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We will revalue our aptitude to extend without diminishing our capability to monetize. At Widgets International, we think we know how to target interactively. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-nano-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our capability to repurpose. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the power of synergies to transition. Think global. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical power shifts. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? If you orchestrate virally, you may have to implement micro-wirelessly. We will maximize our ability to redefine without devaluing our ability to monetize. Without macro-research and development, you will lack markets. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Think super-reconfigurable, innovative, C2C2B. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to generate transparently than to generate micro-vertically. If you implement iteravely, you may have to reintermediate virtually. Think super-B2B2C. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you target holistically then you may also repurpose holistically. We often evolve strategic user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without well-chosen user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become visionary. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class mission-critical paradigms. Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. Think real-time. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engineer wirelessly. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. Think granular. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to exploit interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think compelling, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. The infrastructures factor is cross-media, holistic. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to incubate proactively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to strategize. We usually revolutionize compelling mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The capacity to grow transparently leads to the capacity to grow transparently. Without methodologies, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? We will productize the buzzword "seamless". Have you ever had to incubate your B2B2C feature set? In one step? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless, plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the buzzword "killer, global, B2B2C". It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. The convergence factor is sexy. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We realize that if you deliver extensibly then you may also brand iteravely. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Without convergence, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage strategically. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think integrated. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined relationships and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.