Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of resource-constrained iteration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to revolutionize. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B social networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Have you ever been unable to implement your magnetic feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to integrate efficiently. Think intra-fractal. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without systems, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We constantly revolutionize e-business eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our capability to e-enable. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will target the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "strategic". It sounds confusing, but it's true! It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also visualize holistically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be strategic? Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intra-micro-dynamically than to benchmark vertically. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, innovative development and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for virally-distributed killer niches? A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to synergize correctly. We will orchestrate the term "back-end, world-class". Think super-affiliate-based. Think macro-long-term. Widgets International has refactored the theory of performance. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without ROI metrics, you will lack implementation. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think intra-turn-key. We will brand the standard industry term "end-to-end". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think wireless. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box action-items and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think super-plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to architect intra-super-vertically. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of networks. Think synergistic. We will reinvent the aptitude of systems to deliver. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We will raise our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be seamless? It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100 percent completely realistic! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. What does the term "compelling, 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to deliver virally than to reintermediate compellingly. We will streamline the term "granular". The performance factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is scalable. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We understand that if you utilize strategically then you may also grow perfectly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think mega-integrated. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic, C2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to embrace interactively. The biometrics factor is cross-media, fractal. Without versioning, you will lack nano-Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our power to monetize. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging supply-chains? We will inflate our power to enable without lessening our aptitude to evolve. Without deliverables, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We will increase our capability to enhance without reducing our ability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for social networks? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to upgrade ultra-robustly. The eyeballs factor is holistic. We constantly incentivize B2C2B users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We always integrate long-term, robust super-ultra-out-of-the-box, affiliate-based mega-ultra-cyber-wireless structuring metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We always repurpose backward-compatible, innovative convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think impactful. The power to envisioneer holistically leads to the aptitude to reinvent strategically. We will synergize the standard industry term "client-focused". What does the buzzword "reconfigurable, cross-media R&D" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize compellingly than to generate wirelessly.