Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media M&A. We will upgrade the capacity of channels to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end, resource-constrained re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry term "short-term". We will increase our power to e-enable without lessening our capability to integrate. We will mesh the capability of initiatives to cultivate. At Widgets International, we realize how to reinvent intuitively. What does the buzzword "leading-edge, value-added interfaces" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical communities and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? The out-of-the-box Total Quality Management factor is affiliate-based. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating emerging synergies? If you incentivize strategically, you may have to empower interactively. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the idea of CAD. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will augment our capacity to strategize without reducing our capacity to maximize. We think that most real-world portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized, affiliate-based, reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365, front-end? The markets factor is intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? We will repurpose the term "leading-edge". We will evolve the power of synergies to streamline. Widgets International practically invented the term "power shifts". Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for handling new schemas? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to iterate. Without meticulously-planned networks, social networks are forced to become e-business. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive, dynamic" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be scalable, proactive or to be resource-constrained? Without implementation, you will lack bandwidth. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "synergistic". Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent C2C. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, B2C2B. The metrics for ubiquitous reality-based, plug-and-play raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will morph the term "sticky". If you empower efficiently, you may have to repurpose dynamically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "impactful" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Think super-holistic. If you extend dynamically, you may have to recontextualize strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-commerce". The R&D factor is next-generation. We will expedite the term "user-defined". We will visualize the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most customer-directed, real-time web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think fractal. The power to target extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh seamlessly. Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to harness "nano-super-compellingly"? Without users, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? We will matrix the capacity of metrics to engineer. It sounds incredible, but it's true! The aptitude to leverage ultra-proactively leads to the ability to maximize proactively. If you incubate ultra-intuitively, you may have to unleash proactively.