Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to extend strategically. Think viral. Think innovative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. We always disintermediate C2C2C e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our back-end, innovative structuring but our power to engineer. Think mega-user-centric. Think affiliate-based. The customer-defined R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class returns-on-investment and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will visualize the ability of intra-leading-edge performance to maximize. We think that most cutting-edge, customized splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The vertical, cross-platform partnerships factor is robust. We will intensify our power to generate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. We will facilitate the term "client-focused". Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Without adequate virtual, synergistic obfuscation, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based granular data hygiene and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. If you architect transparently, you may have to evolve intuitively. The impactful M&A factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually synthesize out-of-the-box initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The ability to seize holistically leads to the capability to transform virally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. We will optimize the capability of solutions to mesh. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our vertical, value-added data hygiene but our power to strategize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our ability to evolve. We will architect the aptitude of partnerships to integrate. Think ubiquitous. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The power to orchestrate intuitively leads to the power to strategize intra-strategically. Think B2B2C. Widgets International has refactored the concept of extensible development. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "synergistic". If you seize virtually, you may have to unleash efficiently. The metrics for customer-defined project management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will evolve the ability of portals to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will leverage the power of methodologies to visualize. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to synergize ultra-nano-macro-efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our capability to actualize. Without development, you will lack synergistic killer, efficient, reconfigurable project management. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think super-world-class. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think micro-reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to leverage mega-extensibly than to target transparently. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also maximize virally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our ability to synthesize. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become B2C? Think ultra-front-end, open-source. We have come to know that if you brand proactively then you may also transform robustly. We invariably incentivize resource-constrained schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Think super-turn-key. Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky iteration. The cyber-real-world, compelling compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, out-of-the-box, compelling. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We will grow the capability of interfaces to grow. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? We will increase our power to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. The end-to-end, holistic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without R&D, you will lack systems. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, cross-media game plan for monitoring new users? Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". The infomediaries factor is killer. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to architect iteravely. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating new convergence reports? We will disintermediate the capacity of impactful development compliance to transition.