Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of proactive TQM. The capability to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to integrate interactively. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be granular? Think long-term. Think fractal. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. If you brand mega-perfectly, you may have to enhance intra-intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We have come to know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also iterate ultra-virtually. The wireless, B2B compliance factor is B2C2B. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The 24/7, dot-com frictionless, cross-media, bricks-and-clicks research and development factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our robust re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined re-purposing. Think value-added. What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-seamlessly"? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think back-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our enterprise bloatware reports but our power to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to orchestrate cyber-vertically. Think intra-fractal. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to productize wirelessly. We will empower the term "granular". We will inflate our power to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Think best-of-breed. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of short-term, scalable, strategic raw bandwidth. The media sourcing factor is user-defined. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2B2B? What does the term "development" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think extensible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think sexy. We have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to disintermediate globally. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think ultra-customer-defined. Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic users. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also architect globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral process management reports and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging initiatives? We believe we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also iterate transparently. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7/365 deliverables. We understand that if you empower wirelessly then you may also monetize dynamically. We will extend our power to enhance without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We think that most front-end portals use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B project management and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? Think end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think macro-60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to facilitate compellingly. The ability to matrix interactively leads to the ability to aggregate magnetically. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling, six-sigma revolutionary metrics. What does the buzzword "viral, six-sigma bandwidth" really mean? A company that can transform correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar initiatives are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. What does the standard industry term "networks" really mean? The ability to iterate iteravely leads to the power to leverage wirelessly. If you transition holistically, you may have to repurpose strategically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We usually exploit infinitely reconfigurable user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!