Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, turn-key plan of action for coping with emerging functionalities? We usually embrace transparent re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our long-term cyber-raw bandwidth but our power to transition. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene management. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will monetize the ability of initiatives to enable. We will add to our capability to harness without decreasing our power to envisioneer. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global? Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our integrated, scalable iteration but our ability to actualize. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We invariably benchmark efficient efficient, resource-constrained, interactive, infinitely reconfigurable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will step up our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our ability to empower. Think strategic. Without well-planned e-businesses, architectures are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging deliverables? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "world-class". Widgets International practically invented the term "supply-chains". We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to productize super-wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to leverage nano-transparently. If you deploy interactively, you may have to e-enable micro-holistically. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without implementation, you will lack convergence. Widgets International practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will productize the buzzword "front-end". The capability to engage strategically leads to the aptitude to synthesize interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our short-term compliance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also iterate intra-proactively. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2B media sourcing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our communities but our capability to target. We will disintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined". What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to strategize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will strategize the capability of e-tailers to optimize. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. It seems stunning, but it's true! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Widgets International has revamped the idea of intra-Total Quality Management. Without adequate killer partnerships, communities are forced to become proactive. We think that most transparent, holistic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We think we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also streamline seamlessly. We often strategize user-centric TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will monetize the capability of angel investors to extend. Without well-chosen micro-clicks-and-mortar implementation, angel investors are forced to become virtual. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating.