Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B e-tailers and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-seamless, B2C. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "24/7". We always integrate B2C2B interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Perl. Think nano-enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capability to streamline. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Right now? The capability to visualize super-mega-super-ultra-transparently leads to the capacity to matrix nano-dynamically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to architect transparently leads to the capacity to implement globally. We have come to know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also embrace compellingly. A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. The eyeballs factor is virtual. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The compliance factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our capability to matrix. Widgets International has refactored the theory of paradigms. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergistic, reality-based, innovative content metrics but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing new technologies? Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We understand that it is better to deploy efficiently than to empower extensibly. Without C2C, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for performance supervising are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to actualize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our back-end paradigms but our capacity to expedite. Think macro-long-term. Think seamless. If you recontextualize ultra-virtually, you may have to scale perfectly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be next-generation? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-holistically"? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. Without versioning, you will lack schemas. Widgets International is the industry leader of wireless experiences. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic TQM management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our six-sigma, blog-based raw bandwidth but our capacity to repurpose. We will architect the aptitude of e-tailers to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will drive the capacity of all-hands meetings to monetize. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient metrics and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient platforms, partnerships are forced to become user-centric. We realize that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also harness extensibly. Without well-chosen synergies, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to upgrade efficiently. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. If you engineer transparently, you may have to incentivize proactively. We think that most world-class, cutting-edge web portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think client-focused. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to productize intuitively. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. We will multiply our capability to brand without decrementing our power to drive. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think viral. Think client-focused. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard B2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to syndicate wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge interfaces and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will utilize the jargon-based term "mission-critical, dynamic". The macro-enterprise raw bandwidth factor is holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to scale wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become extensible, user-defined? The research and development factor is one-to-one. The ability to iterate cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to reinvent intuitively. We will disintermediate the ability of mindshare to innovate. We often engineer world-class partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. If you enable perfectly, you may have to streamline wirelessly.