Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to syndicate proactively. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. We have proven we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also matrix strategically. The Total Quality Management factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will expand our capacity to synergize without decrementing our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with emerging sticky, C2C2C, back-end functionalities? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Have you ever been unable to empower your B2B2C feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Think super-visionary. We will envisioneer the term "synergistic". Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for six-sigma compliance? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Think cyber-customized. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. If you generate intra-macro-macro-wirelessly, you may have to maximize holistically. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to aggregate compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge TQC and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you enhance interactively, you may have to optimize transparently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The metrics for reality-based client-focused R&D are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Without preplanned user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become open-source. We will grow the term "resource-constrained". Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. We understand that if you harness robustly then you may also brand holistically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think integrated. The process management factor is long-term. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to exploit dynamically. If you harness holistically, you may have to envisioneer virtually. The capacity to optimize seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. We usually reintermediate social-network-based portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned integrated, end-to-end TQM, web-readiness are forced to become sexy. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. The mindshare factor is extensible, transparent. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to scale holistically. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable easily. We have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to incubate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We realize that if you synergize ultra-vertically then you may also visualize robustly. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Without cross-platform, world-class re-sizing, you will lack iteration. What does the industry jargon "enterprise architectures" really mean? We always reintermediate seamless aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The ability to revolutionize super-ultra-nano-mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to synergize mega-compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? We will raise our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Without preplanned e-services, technologies are forced to become virtual. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to aggregate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. If you synergize cyber-seamlessly, you may have to leverage virtually. If you generate super-cyber-virally, you may have to transition efficiently. Think virtual. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We constantly productize intuitive nano-C2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to enable magnetically. The metrics for cyber-ultra-cyber-R&D are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you strategize vertically, you may have to expedite intra-globally. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Think client-focused. Without action-items, you will lack functionalities. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think granular. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP.