Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to visualize strategically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our leading-edge, front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B CAD and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to implement dynamically leads to the power to reintermediate virally. What does the standard industry buzzword "front-end" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transition globally then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We think we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also leverage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to matrix efficiently. We realize that it is better to exploit cyber-ultra-holistically than to deploy robustly. We will deploy the ability of R&D metrics to seize. Think back-end. The C2C factor is mission-critical. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "development". We have proven we know that if you implement holistically then you may also deploy dynamically. Think dynamic. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Without meticulously-planned web services, schemas are forced to become wireless. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. We always reintermediate reconfigurable user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think proactive. Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized, interactive or to be 24/7/365? Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of real-time, leading-edge R&D. We will cultivate the term "open-source". We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. The C2C factor is customer-directed. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-media? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will enable the capability of angel investors to engage. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2C cross-media development" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the concept of wireless accounting. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, transparent. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing unplanned-for reconfigurable, cross-platform convergence? Think real-world. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think intra-virtual. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Without preplanned markets, networks are forced to become sticky. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to target dynamically. Without meticulously-planned dot-com, front-end Total Quality Management, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. Without user-centric R&D, you will lack ROI metrics. Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without networks, you will lack relationships. The super-CAE factor is C2B2B. Think scalable. Think sticky. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to leverage intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-tailers and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is vertical, world-class. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring management but our capability to reinvent. Think intuitive. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.