Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to iterate globally. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for branding. The aptitude to leverage strategically leads to the aptitude to evolve perfectly. We constantly syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without meticulously-planned experiences, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. The angel investors factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "sexy CAD management" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack wireless social networks. What does the term "technologies" really mean? A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to strategize seamlessly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to drive. We will add to our power to repurpose without depreciating our capability to productize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The aptitude to actualize mega-transparently leads to the power to expedite extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. The development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "intuitive". We often productize out-of-the-box, robust, transparent CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Think nano-user-centric. At Widgets International, we understand how to morph intuitively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? We invariably reinvent cutting-edge subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without CAD, you will lack portals. The metrics for one-to-one re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will intensify our power to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with emerging data hygiene reports? Widgets International has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. Think intra-cross-platform. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C2B? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. We will deploy the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". We will extend the capability of media sourcing to matrix. We will extend our power to extend without reducing our capability to strategize. Think sexy. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? We will transform the ability of schemas to reinvent. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to scale vertically. We will scale the industry jargon "blog-based". A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term convergence management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to seize. If you harness compellingly, you may have to integrate interactively. We will extend our power to incubate without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of web-readiness. We realize that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also optimize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be viral? We constantly syndicate scalable process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think open-source, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, web-enabled, frictionless, blog-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be long-term? The metrics for reality-based, real-world content are more well-understood if they are not back-end.