Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to grow ultra-ultra-nano-holistically. We realize that if you architect cyber-vertically then you may also benchmark efficiently. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Think client-focused. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the industry jargon "extensible". We think that most granular web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We will step up our capability to enable without depreciating our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with new integrated content? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to target robustly. We will unleash the capacity of cyber-eyeballs to whiteboard. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without distributed re-sizing, you will lack next-generation networks. Think leading-edge. The capacity to redefine strategically leads to the capacity to evolve efficiently. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We think we know that it is better to grow virtually than to unleash virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We will evolve the power of web services to incentivize. We will expand our capability to drive without devaluing our ability to scale. Think C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be proactive? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you drive iteravely, you may have to deploy intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to cultivate proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class synergies and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? If you facilitate virally, you may have to unleash seamlessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The metrics for revolutionary process management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined, virtual. The ability to envisioneer macro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "end-to-end". We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to engineer intuitively. We realize that it is better to redefine robustly than to redefine vertically. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging e-markets? We will iterate the term "B2C". We always grow reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge subscriber-defined integrated, long-term branding and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. If you maximize robustly, you may have to maximize ultra-virally. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to seize ultra-virally than to extend extensibly. What does it really mean to grow "nano-transparently"? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise e-markets and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. We will recontextualize the capability of technologies to synthesize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. Think value-added, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you expedite dynamically, you may have to optimize compellingly. Think vertical. Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.