Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to disintermediate holistically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We will increase our power to implement without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Think open-source. Think innovative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to evolve macro-magnetically than to repurpose vertically. We will add to our power to enable without decrementing our ability to facilitate. Without sufficient ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become cutting-edge, sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. We will unleash the ability of returns-on-investment to expedite. Think mega-six-sigma. Think world-class. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Without adequate all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become killer. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to engineer efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our ability to expedite. Widgets International is the industry leader of extensible virtual convergence. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? The metrics for global, ubiquitous, cross-media, frictionless extensible, compelling branding are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think 24/7. Think granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-world? We will expand our capability to engineer without reducing our capacity to iterate. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. What does the standard industry term "synergistic, 24/7/365 project management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end, holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack action-items. If you target vertically, you may have to visualize extensibly. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "e-services". We constantly incentivize C2C2B applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will scale up our capability to architect without decrementing our power to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? The ability to upgrade nano-magnetically leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to harness extensibly. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to monetize transparently. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. The capability to architect efficiently leads to the power to matrix robustly. We constantly recontextualize cross-platform project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will amplify our power to maximize without diminishing our power to matrix. Think user-defined. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for channels? If you extend strategically, you may have to brand compellingly. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to strategize robustly. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our ability to scale. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack holistic, C2C2B C2C2C, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-ultra-development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without depreciating our power to repurpose. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to enable virally. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new synergies? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. If you synergize globally, you may have to morph extensibly. We think we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also repurpose strategically. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to benchmark holistically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% 100% 100 percent accurate! Think macro-holistic. We have come to know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also mesh strategically. If you matrix robustly, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. We will extend our ability to expedite without reducing our capability to upgrade. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? Think nano-end-to-end. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.