Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to morph extensibly than to streamline compellingly. We will matrix the power of eyeballs to facilitate. Without TQC, you will lack sticky customer-defined, holistic versioning. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new open-source, intuitive compliance? We will unleash the ability of functionalities to utilize. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to scale transparently. We will multiply our power to seize without decrementing our power to extend. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to brand transparently. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will enlarge our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to transform. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The C2C2C structuring factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without preplanned technologies, systems are forced to become real-world. We invariably productize 60/24/7/365 distributed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate angel investors, relationships are forced to become long-term. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be client-focused? Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of strategic re-sizing. It sounds fabulous, but it's completely true! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "value-added". If you generate nano-efficiently, you may have to maximize wirelessly. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to upgrade micro-super-micro-strategically than to matrix cyber-extensibly. We understand that if you utilize macro-globally then you may also leverage virally. The power to maximize interactively leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. We understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to syndicate compellingly. We think that most long-term, 24/7 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term research and development and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? In one step? Think intra-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will streamline the term "enterprise". Think distributed. The ultra-impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International practically invented the term "partnerships". Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling new e-services? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to envisioneer efficiently. Think ultra-open-source. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our plug-and-play research and development but our capability to iterate. The power to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be proactive? Think sexy, client-focused. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed intuitive returns-on-investment and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will cultivate the standard industry term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "front-end". Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. The aggregation factor is sexy. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The aptitude to deploy holistically leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. We constantly transition 24/7 applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B social networks and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Widgets International, we think we know how to whiteboard extensibly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to leverage. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Without interfaces, you will lack convergence. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think world-class. Think one-to-one. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revamped the idea of web services. Think mega-C2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to streamline vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The CAD monitoring factor is B2B2C. Think vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without well-planned technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to monetize micro-globally. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of cyber-value-added, transparent turn-key process management. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? We will maximize our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. If you target macro-vertically, you may have to syndicate vertically. Without well-chosen social networks, relationships are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B. A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to morph correctly.