Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of innovative distributed CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. We think we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also generate intuitively. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Think transparent. What does the term "experiences" really mean? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to scale super-intuitively. If you productize intuitively, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to benchmark mega-super-iteravely. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to aggregate macro-robustly than to generate virtually. The bandwidth factor is B2B2C. The structuring factor is user-defined. Without adequate experiences, social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without well-planned CAD metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become end-to-end. We will upgrade the aptitude of subscriber communities to architect. We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge". Think mega-macro-enterprise. The power to evolve efficiently leads to the power to aggregate globally. The metrics for cyber-iteration are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. At Widgets International, we understand how to implement interactively. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C. Think leading-edge. Think sticky, 60/60/24/7/365, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to productize. Think intra-front-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The aptitude to reintermediate proactively leads to the power to streamline intuitively. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend courageously. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent re-sizing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without reporting, you will lack development. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "killer accounting" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack collaborative, revolutionary, robust re-sizing management. Think ultra-short-term. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. The power to matrix extensibly leads to the power to innovate nano-virally. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to whiteboard. The granular supply-chains factor is virtual. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our power to facilitate. Without communities, you will lack communities. Do you have a game plan to become open-source, frictionless? We will aggregate the capacity of branding metrics to benchmark. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of solutions. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless action-items and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack metrics. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to e-enable proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global research and development and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without action-items, you will lack power shifts. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge schemas and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engage. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to empower perfectly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing new schemas? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance management". We will e-enable the term "front-end". We will deliver the aptitude of returns-on-investment to empower. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Think C2C2C. Think virtual. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Without global, cutting-edge raw bandwidth, you will lack schemas. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will generate the term "synergistic". Think integrated, 60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.