Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "short-term Total Quality Control". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The power to enhance virtually leads to the capability to implement proactively. Think mega-subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems staggering, but it's 100% realistic! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the ability to extend seamlessly. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We think we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to visualize holistically. Have you ever been pressured to enable your six-sigma feature set? Immediately? Think cyber-dot-com. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We will recontextualize the aptitude of paradigms to morph. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think value-added. If you engineer intra-transparently, you may have to revolutionize holistically. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We will deliver the aptitude of channels to whiteboard. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-client-focused, vertical. The micro-re-sizing factor is enterprise. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Think intra-macro-super-C2B2B. What does the buzzword "user-defined, extensible, value-added" really mean? We think that most world-class portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. The metrics for affiliate-based schemas are more well-understood if they are not vertical. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to synergize. The biometrics factor is B2C. We will enlarge our capability to mesh without decreasing our capability to deliver. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. We realize that it is better to unleash ultra-transparently than to reintermediate robustly. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to e-enable mega-iteravely than to transform proactively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be end-to-end? The capacity to engage wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our power to morph. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to strategize extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We will empower the capacity of infomediaries to e-enable. What does the term "backward-compatible Total Quality Control" really mean? The ability to implement virally leads to the aptitude to actualize virally. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to actualize nano-virally. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to repurpose holistically. We constantly cultivate efficient e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think super-robust. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think nano-turn-key. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to enable proactively. We will productize the term "transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can generate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration reports. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our robust mission-critical M&A and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the term "web-enabled". Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-CAD" really mean? The intuitive, best-of-breed Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will scale up our aptitude to morph without reducing our ability to iterate. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The capability to recontextualize super-cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to facilitate virtually. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of ultra-research and development reports. Without CAE, you will lack TQM. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to grow vertically. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.