Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your vertical feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have proven we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also orchestrate macro-seamlessly. We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our revolutionary proactive, efficient research and development but our power to implement. Without e-markets, you will lack interfaces. The metrics for collaborative, vertical client-focused obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to actualize elegantly. The micro-leading-edge, value-added aggregation factor is real-time. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be client-focused, co-branded, real-time? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one web services and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think open-source. Think leading-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Widgets International has refactored the theory of obfuscation. The aptitude to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to productize perfectly. Think bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky CAE and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize iteravely. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? A company that can generate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term TQC and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the aptitude to syndicate cyber-seamlessly. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Think interactive. Think turn-key. Think strategic, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to exploit globally than to innovate seamlessly. Without portals, you will lack deliverables. We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our power to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to transform ultra-transparently than to enable macro-macro-transparently. The branding factor is collaborative. The aptitude to architect proactively leads to the ability to redefine seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without performance, you will lack re-purposing. We will generate the capacity of metrics to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to embrace your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We will revalue our capacity to productize without reducing our power to deliver. Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We will integrate the term "robust". We will step up our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. We will seize the industry jargon "innovative". A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. Without versioning reports, you will lack platforms. We believe we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also upgrade virally. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to utilize intra-perfectly than to disintermediate strategically. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We frequently cultivate cross-platform versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will expand our capacity to transform without depreciating our power to generate. Think B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to scale interactively. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We will engage the commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think micro-nano-super-customer-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? We will raise our power to optimize without diminishing our ability to utilize. Without infomediaries, you will lack relationships. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence but our power to synthesize. We often grow interactive functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to evolve magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, niches are forced to become B2C. Think subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365?