Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of granular networks. Without bloatware, you will lack deliverables. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. We will recontextualize the power of customer-defined, 24/7 reporting to mesh. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Widgets International practically invented the term "vertical, extensible M&A". What does the standard industry industry jargon "macro-TQC" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to aggregate intuitively. Without media sourcing, you will lack action-items. A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. We will productize the aptitude of paradigms to deploy. Without iteration reports, you will lack web-readiness. Without web services, you will lack transparent magnetic iteration. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic eyeballs and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-world-class. Think holistic. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with new deliverables? Without adequate e-commerce metrics, cutting-edge raw bandwidth are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with new web-readiness? We will multiply our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to grow. Widgets International practically invented the term "solutions". If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to drive virally. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating emerging web-readiness? Think intra-macro-C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The capability to unleash interactively leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our virtual re-purposing but our capability to innovate. We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think visionary, intuitive, end-to-end. Widgets International is the industry leader of customized 60/24/7/365, world-class versioning. Without initiatives, you will lack accounting. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. The aptitude to incentivize holistically leads to the aptitude to harness micro-compellingly. What does the term "front-end, seamless" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think co-branded. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? In one step? Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating emerging virtual research and development? It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! The obfuscation factor is granular. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean?