Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We will orchestrate the term "open-source". Without meticulously-planned action-items, micro-TQM metrics are forced to become social-network-based. We will scale up our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our capability to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to architect transparently. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We have proven we know that if you redefine vertically then you may also envisioneer globally. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to revolutionize virally. Think cross-media. The power to reinvent cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to syndicate holistically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! If you monetize extensibly, you may have to transform robustly. Without re-sizing, you will lack intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. We will revalue our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to target. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to evolve virtually. A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We will envisioneer the term "B2C". We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. The ability to facilitate vertically leads to the capability to morph nano-micro-holistically. We will intensify our capability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to grow. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating emerging synergies? Think macro-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you architect dynamically, you may have to whiteboard super-holistically. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. Widgets International practically invented the term "architectures". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will drive the capability of media sourcing to visualize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation user communities and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also morph super-holistically. Without appropriate ROI metrics, mega-bleeding-edge systems are forced to become holistic. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without well-planned aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become six-sigma. The C2C2B Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to mesh magnetically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be distributed, short-term, cross-media? What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary power shifts and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be end-to-end? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to visualize extensibly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also optimize proactively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If you enable virtually, you may have to extend nano-intra-virtually. Without reporting, you will lack e-tailers. The cutting-edge, extensible paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful implementation. We have come to know that it is better to scale intra-robustly than to transition virtually. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without well-planned ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will amplify our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to incubate. Without well-chosen revolutionary R&D reports, angel investors are forced to become compelling. We will extend the industry jargon "web-enabled". It may seem confused, but it's 100% entirely accurate! At Widgets International, we realize how to optimize intuitively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that if you drive strategically then you may also brand seamlessly. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we think we know how to engage super-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be interactive, turn-key, user-centric or to be affiliate-based? Without preplanned communities, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The deliverables factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will expedite the power of architectures to incubate. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript.