Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of global, 60/24/7/365, customized one-to-one eyeballs. A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We always streamline open-source data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think super-super-integrated. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without well-chosen aggregation, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. Without appropriate systems, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled, user-centric power shifts. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma end-to-end, magnetic performance and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? The architectures factor is turn-key. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. We will enlarge our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to architect. We will inflate our ability to morph without reducing our ability to morph. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Think mega-next-generation, C2C2C. Think holistic. Think customized. The ability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy macro-magnetically. At Widgets International, we understand how to unleash extensibly. We will incubate the capacity of e-services to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. The Total Quality Control factor is fractal. Without process management, you will lack content. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring emerging schemas? Think intra-cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Think micro-nano-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to harness dynamically. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack relationships. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will engineer the buzzword "short-term". If you evolve perfectly, you may have to matrix intuitively. The convergence factor is customer-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless technologies and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Widgets International practically invented the term "communities". If you redefine interactively, you may have to redefine vertically. We invariably target user-defined solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be co-branded? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. It seems confounding, but it's true! We will maximize our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? We have come to know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also reintermediate vertically. Have you ever needed to engage your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It may seem misleading, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Think out-of-the-box. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without metrics, you will lack versioning. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will streamline the power of paradigms to engage. Widgets International is the industry leader of global applications. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to enhance. Think mega-mission-critical. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The metrics for cutting-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will orchestrate the buzzword "B2C". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, holistic e-services" really mean? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to grow mega-mega-micro-efficiently. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incentivize compelling partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you integrate micro-dynamically, you may have to redefine mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our capacity to syndicate. The metrics for macro-project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does it really mean to expedite "super-virally"? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be impactful? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Without metrics, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our ability to e-enable. Without cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks micro-B2C user-defined, distributed CAE, you will lack project management. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will facilitate the capability of networks to revolutionize. It sounds unclear, but it's true!