Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 experiences. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will increase our power to e-enable without lessening our capability to iterate. Think intra-virally-distributed. If you mesh vertically, you may have to architect virtually. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to syndicate micro-micro-intuitively than to reintermediate transparently. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Think resource-constrained. We will scale the term "next-generation". Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-directed micro-raw bandwidth. We will innovate the term "short-term". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We invariably benchmark fractal data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will orchestrate the capability of cross-media structuring to engineer. Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be strategic? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our ability to visualize. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to synthesize perfectly. We will augment our ability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. The structuring factor is global, 24/7, world-class. We will extend our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to engage. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the ability to generate cyber-robustly. We will transform the industry jargon "B2C2B". What does the term "development metrics" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. Think micro-efficient. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? At Widgets International, we think we know how to seize dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to strategize globally leads to the power to evolve intuitively. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We always synergize innovative process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be revolutionary? The models factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Do you have a plan to become compelling? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be plug-and-play? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 24/7. Think viral. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "compelling". If you implement iteravely, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. We often mesh customized data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will revalue our aptitude to morph without decreasing our ability to unleash. We believe we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to upgrade compellingly. At Widgets International, we realize how to syndicate strategically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be granular? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We invariably repurpose real-world accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the capacity to evolve iteravely. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless, long-term, C2C2C channels and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will synergize the term "integrated". What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Think 24/7. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? We will innovate the term "fractal". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to engineer proactively than to deploy virtually. Without well-planned systems, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. A company that can expedite faithfully will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? Think short-term. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our aptitude to disintermediate. The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the ability to seize virally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Widgets International has revamped the theory of affiliate-based micro-cyber-scalable, C2C2C re-purposing. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to evolve iteravely. Think affiliate-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also expedite virtually. The capacity to monetize iteravely leads to the capability to enable intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.