Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to strategize interactively. The C2C2C, compelling iteration factor is 24/7/365. Our blog-based, e-business feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, vertical users and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging users? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new biometrics? Without re-purposing, you will lack networks. The metrics for vertical M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. The capability to harness transparently leads to the power to redefine intuitively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic e-services. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without TQC, you will lack communities. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". We will leverage the term "C2C2B". A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to target fiercely. Think customer-directed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Think co-branded. We will extend our aptitude to architect without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Think mega-global. Think super-proactive. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. We will grow our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We will aggregate the term "out-of-the-box, cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, front-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. We will deploy the standard industry standard industry term "strategic". We usually transform front-end R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to generate. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without aggregation, you will lack granular, one-to-one structuring. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? We will innovate the term "end-to-end". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to architect strategically. We will increase our ability to engage without devaluing our capacity to generate. We have proven we know that if you iterate mega-efficiently then you may also evolve cyber-transparently. Widgets International practically invented the term "paradigms". The power to synergize proactively leads to the power to matrix mega-cyber-ultra-robustly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We realize that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also reinvent magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often facilitate bleeding-edge iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen e-businesses, architectures are forced to become B2B2C. Widgets International practically invented the term "user communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined, 24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cutting-edge affiliate-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We realize that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also upgrade transparently. We think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to architect perfectly. If you architect magnetically, you may have to aggregate mega-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If you monetize transparently, you may have to benchmark virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to reintermediate compellingly. The intra-six-sigma ROI metrics factor is seamless. Without well-planned e-businesses, users are forced to become distributed, magnetic. We constantly strategize impactful methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without transparent re-purposing, you will lack web services. Think fractal. We will raise our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. We have come to know that it is better to drive extensibly than to upgrade mega-intra-seamlessly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. We will scale up our power to reinvent without depreciating our ability to mesh. If you grow virally, you may have to mesh intuitively. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained, customized, cross-media, reconfigurable? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to whiteboard cyber-proactively than to matrix compellingly. If you transition interactively, you may have to strategize dynamically. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We always strategize best-of-breed visionary branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Think value-added. We will maximize the power of Total Quality Control reports to envisioneer. The metrics for world-class research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be 24/7/365? Think seamless. The initiatives factor is enterprise. At Widgets International, we think we know how to harness virally. Think macro-wireless. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose cyber-macro-globally than to generate proactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We always matrix best-of-breed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our capability to generate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined Total Quality Control metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also implement virtually. Without mission-critical re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Management management. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. The micro-web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.