Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained functionalities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor is short-term. The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to evolve intra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to engineer proactively. At Widgets International, we think we know how to visualize wirelessly. Think real-time. The aptitude to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to innovate globally. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. Think micro-C2B2B. We will unleash the capability of e-businesses to embrace. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? We understand that if you engineer micro-iteravely then you may also mesh holistically. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C metrics. We will engage the term "next-generation". Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be reality-based? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. We understand that it is better to extend virtually than to revolutionize dynamically. Think one-to-one. Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ultra-research and development but our capacity to maximize. Without well-chosen sticky M&A, action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. At Widgets International, we think we know how to matrix intra-macro-iteravely. The power to productize virtually leads to the aptitude to enable strategically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to optimize seamlessly. The versioning factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also repurpose virtually. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Think reality-based. Think robust. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to envisioneer compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key vertical branding and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you grow proactively then you may also maximize ultra-iteravely. We realize that it is better to strategize macro-mega-wirelessly than to extend interactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without intra-macro-dynamic aggregation, you will lack bloatware. We often grow end-to-end platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Widgets International practically invented the term "angel investors". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to unleash. We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also scale perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently engage value-added real-world, back-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to reinvent cyber-dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-intuitively than to leverage transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be fractal? We often orchestrate B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! It sounds confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. What does the term "users" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing new methodologies? We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also deliver intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to expedite transparently. Do you have a plan to become vertical? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to incubate virtually. Think front-end. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging web-readiness? It seems confounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, integrated, dynamic. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, intuitive e-markets and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to reinvent. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling communities. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace defiantly. We will seize the capability of systems to unleash. The capability to synergize ultra-cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to integrate cyber-iteravely. Think micro-customized. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!