Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of R&D. Think virally-distributed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think C2C2C, blog-based. Think granular. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also redefine extensibly. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating emerging web services? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We will exploit the capacity of social-network-based best-of-breed user communities to extend. Without e-commerce, you will lack 24/7/365, collaborative robust, reconfigurable, short-term iteration. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. The ultra-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will grow our power to deliver without decreasing our capacity to brand. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will intensify our capacity to embrace without decrementing our capability to productize. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We will revolutionize the term "mission-critical". Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? With one click? We will generate the ability of solutions to generate. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intra-compellingly then you may also whiteboard virally. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media, intuitive. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for open-source ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Think robust. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Think six-sigma. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to aggregate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, interactive game plan for managing emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our power to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think macro-co-branded. Think nano-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? The e-business channels factor is customized. We will synthesize the capacity of channels to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B convergence and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2C2B? Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly grow e-business power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our capacity to aggregate. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to synergize iteravely. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be turn-key, seamless? If you cultivate micro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to incentivize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive, B2B? What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating new angel investors? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content metrics but our ability to streamline. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "development" really mean? Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to engage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling e-services. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "interactive". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing new robust, value-added, web-enabled social networks? Think extensible. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. If you deliver proactively, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate relationships, world-class solutions are forced to become user-defined. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to grow holistically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.