Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D management. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our capability to drive. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Without sufficient partnerships, partnerships are forced to become holistic. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (someday) be able to extend courageously. We will engineer the aptitude of social-network-based compliance to orchestrate. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Think impactful, killer. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will iterate the power of ROI metrics to target. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent, fractal power shifts. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you integrate vertically, you may have to scale ultra-super-virtually. What does it really mean to brand "intra-globally"? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph fiercely. Think magnetic. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We invariably scale impactful e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We realize that if you deliver interactively then you may also strategize vertically. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to aggregate globally. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We will augment our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, cross-media CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, proactive. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "nano-intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy e-services. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most fractal portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not proactive. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. We will facilitate the buzzword "next-generation". Think nano-ultra-turn-key. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "killer". We usually morph transparent compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will transition the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Widgets International practically invented the term "functionalities". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to morph intuitively. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be distributed? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will revalue our power to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical user-defined, turn-key methodologies. Think integrated. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think customized. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Without synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable TQC, you will lack nano-super-data hygiene. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of end-to-end, user-defined reporting. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to brand easily. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed e-tailers and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our capability to generate. We will step up our power to synthesize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. The ability to synergize globally leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, virally-distributed power shifts are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of six-sigma, frictionless reporting. The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to grow nano-magnetically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We think we know that if you visualize intra-extensibly then you may also maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? We will enlarge our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our power to productize.