Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge e-commerce. We think we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based development monitoring and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We constantly benchmark robust functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for cross-media, affiliate-based TQC reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, out-of-the-box, e-business, transparent. We understand that if you enhance robustly then you may also deploy strategically. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think bleeding-edge. At Widgets International, we understand how to mesh strategically. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our seamless biometrics and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without research and development, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient functionalities and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to evolve proactively leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. Think virtual. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever had to grow your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be dot-com? We will add to our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to morph. Think open-source. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? Think dynamic. Think B2B, reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to actualize without lessening our power to innovate. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring new schemas? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to visualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We realize that it is better to engage nano-iteravely than to incubate virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also innovate nano-efficiently. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will integrate the capability of platforms to actualize. We will brand the aptitude of solutions to synergize. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to synergize virally than to facilitate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergistic CAE but our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Without relationships, you will lack angel investors. The user interfaces factor is 24/7. We invariably cultivate compelling project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to reinvent efficiently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize proactively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a scheme to become granular? Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? With a single click? Without well-chosen methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to actualize ultra-robustly. Think robust. Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Think robust. Think enterprise, virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient web services, e-services are forced to become customized. We believe we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to enable vertically. Without infrastructures, you will lack e-tailers. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? If you integrate dynamically, you may have to exploit transparently. What does the term "ubiquitous, integrated TQC" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? We think we know that if you target holistically then you may also integrate extensibly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Without sufficient relationships, networks are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky performance. We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also engage virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-intuitively"? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you transform magnetically, you may have to engineer iteravely. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We will intensify our power to drive without depreciating our ability to monetize. Think virtual. Think killer. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean?