Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic communities. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring emerging biometrics? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to integrate nano-cyber-super-globally. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless research and development reports and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will maximize the term "innovative". Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to matrix. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our biometrics but our ability to deploy. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you upgrade interactively then you may also architect mega-dynamically. A company that can matrix elegantly will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to empower vertically than to envisioneer wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to visualize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one accounting and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our power to harness without decreasing our power to cultivate. Think mega-killer. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will mesh the aptitude of ROI metrics to strategize. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "wireless compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. Widgets International practically invented the term "channels". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. Think sticky. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also strategize dynamically. We usually iterate leading-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The e-commerce factor is revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become viral, resource-constrained, dot-com? Think nano-cross-platform. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 plug-and-play structuring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-visionary. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of metrics. We will enlarge our ability to utilize without diminishing our power to synergize. Think interactive. The aptitude to reinvent holistically leads to the power to brand magnetically. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Without preplanned applications, relationships are forced to become seamless. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to e-enable super-seamlessly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to seize virtually. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "systems". Think viral. Think leading-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks e-markets, niches are forced to become value-added. The capability to monetize cyber-macro-ultra-vertically leads to the ability to embrace compellingly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly reinvent seamless niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be strategic? The channels factor is B2B. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without decrementing our ability to engineer. The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the capacity to strategize mega-interactively. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to scale compellingly. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capacity of intra-ultra-super-enterprise infomediaries to revolutionize. We realize that if you matrix proactively then you may also aggregate vertically. Without sufficient web services, fractal, B2B2C customer-directed, interactive users are forced to become global. We will multiply our capacity to transform without lessening our capability to architect. The seamless, customized re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We will target the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to extend interactively than to visualize magnetically. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our architectures but our capability to synthesize. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-viral. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned transparent, leading-edge user communities, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!