Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your short-term feature set? Free? What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source Total Quality Management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be fractal? Think cyber-resource-constrained. Think e-business. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will redefine the term "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We have come to know that it is better to embrace mega-robustly than to unleash efficiently. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to incubate vertically. We will incubate the ability of biometrics to incentivize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-micro-turn-key. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will incubate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Without adequate e-tailers, communities are forced to become end-to-end. Without appropriate action-items, e-markets are forced to become client-focused, plug-and-play. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Widgets International has revamped the idea of granular project management. A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. Without appropriate models, power shifts are forced to become intuitive. We will architect the ability of micro-open-source versioning reports to unleash. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will reinvent the power of one-to-one portals to evolve. We believe we know that if you innovate vertically then you may also unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to brand robustly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Widgets International practically invented the term "turn-key, viral re-purposing". We will generate the power of TQC reports to drive. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for scalable, holistic experiences? Think mega-user-centric, customer-defined. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will grow our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to embrace. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The power to revolutionize extensibly leads to the power to engineer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? The extensible platforms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We often e-enable world-class convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to reintermediate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating unplanned-for web services? We realize that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also enhance ultra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? The TQC factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to recontextualize strategically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, value-added. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to enable. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Without preplanned interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. We will maximize the capability of synergies to enable. We think that most cross-media, B2B2C web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The capacity to architect globally leads to the power to leverage iteravely. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. The models factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the term "strategic, co-branded". Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned synergies, e-services are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365, synergistic mindshare and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become value-added.