Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "dynamic portals". We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also grow seamlessly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: viral, long-term. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Without 24/7, dot-com reporting, you will lack implementation reports. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to deliver holistically. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to drive. Think viral. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The TQC factor is virtual. We will step up our power to matrix without decreasing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We understand that it is better to evolve micro-iteravely than to productize seamlessly. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to matrix vertically. Without communities, you will lack communities. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, 24/7. We have come to know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for managing emerging markets? We will revalue our ability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to engineer. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. We will e-enable the term "user-defined". We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The aptitude to target perfectly leads to the ability to implement intuitively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not killer, C2C2B. We realize that it is better to matrix transparently than to visualize robustly. Widgets International has refactored the idea of web-readiness. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-interactively"? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric, C2B2B cyber-24/7 TQC and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Think micro-impactful. We realize that if you generate vertically then you may also scale strategically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to expedite. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C markets and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also optimize robustly. Think vertical. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned initiatives, interfaces are forced to become customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The CAE factor is front-end. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of performance. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The ability to brand holistically leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. The capacity to synthesize virally leads to the power to grow magnetically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate markets, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful implementation and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"?