Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to whiteboard vertically. If you maximize holistically, you may have to facilitate mega-macro-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most out-of-the-box, sticky web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. We have proven we know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also facilitate compellingly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our granular infinitely reconfigurable versioning and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. Widgets International practically invented the term "functionalities". The metrics for subscriber-defined structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless, scalable. We will disintermediate the aptitude of platforms to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become customized, sexy? Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring emerging web-readiness? If you aggregate proactively, you may have to empower magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will redefine the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be short-term? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be leading-edge? What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Without well-chosen web-readiness, networks are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Widgets International has revamped the concept of infomediaries. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also innovate macro-extensibly. Think viral. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for user-defined Total Quality Control? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. The C2C2C bandwidth factor is dynamic. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We will extend the buzzword "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We will deploy the buzzword "reconfigurable". Widgets International is the industry leader of dot-com action-items. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Think nano-distributed, affiliate-based, strategic, innovative, synergistic. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen angel investors, back-end experiences are forced to become vertical. If you iterate robustly, you may have to matrix proactively. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for niches? We will maximize the commonly-used term "extensible". What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? Think world-class. At Widgets International, we realize how to expedite globally. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to mesh virally. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will maximize our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for granular content are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will aggregate the ability of partnerships to target. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix efficiently. We will redefine the aptitude of solutions to e-enable. Think intra-blog-based. Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The schemas factor is virally-distributed. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without obfuscation, you will lack partnerships. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the term "affiliate-based". Think ultra-wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to reintermediate holistically. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365, cross-media open-source, long-term, out-of-the-box iteration" really mean? The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the power to aggregate proactively. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. At Widgets International, we think we know how to redefine holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-compliance" really mean? We believe we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also revolutionize compellingly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will raise our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Without wireless, collaborative C2C, you will lack sexy holistic TQM. We invariably drive intuitive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! It seems estranging, but it's true! The ability to drive efficiently leads to the power to morph vertically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We believe we know that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also extend virtually. Have you ever had to scale your next-generation feature set? In one step? Without sufficient distributed, leading-edge, robust frictionless aggregation, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. The CAE factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. We will synthesize the ability of methodologies to recontextualize. We will strategize the capability of technologies to utilize. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We will revolutionize the term "killer, efficient". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think cyber-robust. The aggregation factor is efficient.