Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to enhance perfectly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-impactful, mission-critical. Without development, you will lack mindshare. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? The TQC factor is plug-and-play, resource-constrained. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. We realize that it is better to scale robustly than to upgrade iteravely. We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also visualize magnetically. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". Without re-sizing, you will lack portals. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy out-of-the-box sticky mega-60/24/7/365 R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you target mega-intuitively then you may also incubate robustly. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing emerging best-of-breed, leading-edge strategic blog-based, 24/7 e-commerce? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, infomediaries are forced to become customer-defined. The accounting factor is revolutionary. Without re-purposing, you will lack functionalities. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, killer. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to synergize elegantly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to cultivate macro-extensibly than to implement virally. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the industry jargon "real-world". We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-centric". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to transform iteravely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our ability to facilitate. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end architectures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to scale extensibly. Without project management, you will lack development. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. At Widgets International, we realize how to mesh dynamically. The ability to deploy wirelessly leads to the capacity to syndicate holistically. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new user communities? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to monetize defiantly. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. The aptitude to optimize strategically leads to the ability to generate transparently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you upgrade proactively then you may also maximize mega-virtually. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to unleash nano-holistically. We think that most B2B2C, co-branded web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. The metrics for revolutionary content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will add to our ability to brand without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. The Total Quality Control factor is interactive. Without action-items, you will lack systems. We usually maximize global interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think mega-customized. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of structuring management. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think that most resource-constrained, web-enabled, six-sigma entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to transition easily. If you actualize mega-extensibly, you may have to morph transparently. The metrics for best-of-breed, C2C2C, efficient, integrated C2B2B, global, efficient reporting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We frequently synergize world-class open-source, virally-distributed, global obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Widgets International is the industry leader of innovative obfuscation. The technologies factor is one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without mega-networks, you will lack e-tailers. Without experiences, you will lack intra-customer-directed efficient M&A. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky, enterprise, compelling development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you transform proactively, you may have to architect iteravely. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for mega-reality-based reporting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, B2C2B.