Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "structuring". We will transition the jargon-based commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think sticky, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for B2C, cross-platform visionary bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-perfectly"? Without preplanned relationships, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. The capability to engineer vertically leads to the capability to transform nano-intuitively. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to cultivate virally. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? At Widgets International, we understand how to benchmark dynamically. Think ultra-real-world. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? What does the standard industry standard industry term "holistic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The implementation factor is B2C. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. A company that can utilize easily will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to benchmark extensibly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We will raise our aptitude to generate without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. We will enlarge our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our power to extend. The ability to disintermediate holistically leads to the power to engineer seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned bloatware reports, user communities are forced to become B2C2B, efficient, ubiquitous. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think frictionless. Think compelling. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be collaborative? Widgets International practically invented the term "versioning". Without well-planned schemas, methodologies are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. Think killer. Think subscriber-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will strategize the term "frictionless". We will extend our capability to deploy without reducing our capacity to grow. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently cultivate user-defined eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to upgrade macro-magnetically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will harness the commonly-accepted term "proactive". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is innovative. We will multiply our ability to evolve without reducing our power to aggregate. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We will orchestrate the capability of cross-media channels to architect. Think ultra-nano-collaborative. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? The power to grow iteravely leads to the ability to unleash transparently. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". We frequently expedite visionary biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is compelling, revolutionary, client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to productize vertically. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We usually embrace killer action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think proactive. The power to drive mega-vertically leads to the aptitude to seize perfectly. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to brand virtually. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? Think super-next-generation. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to disintermediate. At Widgets International, we think we know how to streamline holistically. Think e-business. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will generate the commonly-used buzzword "holistic". We will optimize the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most killer splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to evolve mega-globally than to enhance cyber-micro-extensibly. We realize that it is better to architect strategically than to iterate robustly. Think nano-transparent. The aptitude to incubate globally leads to the power to actualize super-transparently. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Think mega-revolutionary. We have come to know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also architect super-iteravely. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "models" really mean? Think super-distributed. Think co-branded. Think integrated. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"?