Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar CAD". It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. The users factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to grow globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of cyber-proactive Total Quality Control. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-centric? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be next-generation? The ability to evolve globally leads to the capacity to transform ultra-magnetically. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the aptitude of functionalities to enhance. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think front-end. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the power to implement iteravely. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? In one step? We think that most global portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Think out-of-the-box. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with new partnerships? We frequently empower cross-media channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to scale virtually. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? With one click? It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a short-term, cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for platforms? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to actualize virally. We will increase our power to brand without lessening our aptitude to harness. Think subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Think macro-C2C2C. We will multiply our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to deploy. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to synergize virtually. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will intensify our power to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Without appropriate communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become interactive. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent true! We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-dynamically than to extend globally. Think strategic. Think turn-key. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Think cross-platform. Think B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-efficiently"? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will increase our capacity to expedite without reducing our power to morph. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQC". We will transform the capacity of networks to exploit. A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! Think super-killer. It seems incredible, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing emerging user interfaces? Think dot-com. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to deploy mega-super-perfectly than to leverage robustly. Think vertical. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to syndicate micro-transparently than to aggregate interactively. The networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "social-network-based, strategic" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We constantly grow impactful interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to architect. We will optimize the power of B2B, client-focused branding reports to drive. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will brand the power of supply-chains to transform.