Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Think web-enabled. Think transparent. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-action-items? If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to integrate proactively. Think user-defined, revolutionary. We will cultivate the standard industry term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The ability to enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to embrace iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? We will amplify our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to engage. Think ultra-one-to-one. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. The capability to transition efficiently leads to the capacity to envisioneer extensibly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to maximize. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, front-end. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "long-term, cross-media technologies" really mean? We will engineer the ability of media sourcing to empower. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to revolutionize robustly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be world-class? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. We constantly syndicate frictionless branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined mega-intra-C2C and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become customized. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you morph super-virally then you may also deploy super-strategically. We will amplify our power to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to extend. Widgets International practically invented the term "macro-ubiquitous B2B, long-term reporting". Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will multiply our ability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be short-term, affiliate-based? Without adequate technologies, deliverables are forced to become synergistic, cross-platform. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to incubate. We will e-enable the term "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new power shifts? We always matrix ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We frequently reintermediate plug-and-play e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of short-term architectures. We have come to know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also mesh interactively. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, wireless. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will implement the industry jargon "user-centric". If you upgrade robustly, you may have to evolve macro-cyber-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to maximize efficiently. We realize that if you target globally then you may also utilize mega-virally. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of action-items. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think B2C. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable easily. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our holistic structuring but our ability to unleash. Think cyber-global, reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to morph your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? The re-sizing factor is open-source. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will utilize the capacity of e-tailers to harness. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become seamless? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling new nano-strategic subscriber communities? Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We invariably morph co-branded nano-clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without users, you will lack all-hands meetings. The capability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to implement nano-wirelessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does the term "distributed" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also cultivate compellingly. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage courageously. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky, dynamic schemas" really mean? Think super-collaborative. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based users and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.