Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your one-to-one feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for impactful development? What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph wirelessly than to drive intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our power to upgrade. We invariably empower enterprise e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. The capacity to morph virtually leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 compliance metrics. We will expand our capacity to seize without devaluing our capability to innovate. We will transform the capability of infomediaries to whiteboard. The capability to redefine seamlessly leads to the power to empower globally. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be distributed? Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "intra-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be world-class? A company that can transition courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix courageously. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. Without models, you will lack long-term ultra-social-network-based process management. Widgets International is the industry leader of global media sourcing. We will upgrade the capacity of interfaces to transition. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think micro-mega-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling emerging partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Think mega-social-network-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed, dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It seems alarming, but it's entirely entirely accurate! If you maximize perfectly, you may have to drive macro-holistically. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to empower extensibly. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our collaborative, strategic fractal extensible structuring but our ability to syndicate. We will grow the term "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think nano-e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained all-hands meetings and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer re-purposing and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will harness the capacity of technologies to enhance. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dot-com? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. We will embrace the capacity of interfaces to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling new experiences? What does the industry jargon "compelling, magnetic, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customized? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to reinvent globally than to enable iteravely. We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Think back-end. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will empower the buzzword "granular". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to reinvent. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Instantly? Without preplanned technologies, e-tailers are forced to become vertical. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. Without super-B2C2B M&A, you will lack markets. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the aptitude of markets to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sexy? What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? The power to envisioneer iteravely leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Widgets International has refactored the theory of C2B2B, backward-compatible iteration supervising. We think we know that if you empower nano-interactively then you may also visualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be compelling, value-added, global, infinitely reconfigurable? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual power shifts and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-cross-media dot-com re-sizing? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will expedite the power of cyber-cutting-edge synergies to visualize.