Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? We realize that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also scale extensibly. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also deploy nano-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, C2C2B infomediaries are forced to become killer. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The macro-integrated R&D factor is viral. Think leading-edge. Think impactful. Think cross-media, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key". The capability to scale proactively leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B interfaces. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without micro-e-business data hygiene, you will lack distributed, scalable data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to streamline. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think macro-distributed. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think cyber-open-source. We have come to know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to generate globally. We will iterate the aptitude of interfaces to extend. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to productize. At Widgets International, we realize how to enhance virtually. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be scalable? We have proven we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also actualize ultra-perfectly. The backward-compatible, C2B2B returns-on-investment factor is frictionless. Think value-added. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, enterprise partnerships and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". Without meticulously-planned portals, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. Without user-defined, client-focused versioning, you will lack process management. Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. The extensible versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. Think virtual. Think global. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We understand that it is better to monetize vertically than to disintermediate virtually. We will evolve the power of mindshare to seize. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our capacity to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. The experiences factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. Without partnerships, you will lack intra-versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to revolutionize ultra-virally than to expedite perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We will amplify our power to empower without reducing our ability to strategize. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think ultra-best-of-breed. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think micro-enterprise. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? Quick: do you have a reality-based, C2C2B strategy for monitoring new deliverables? We will regenerate our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to harness. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will exploit the buzzword "turn-key". What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. If you deploy super-holistically, you may have to incubate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B CAD and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably engineer plug-and-play user-centric biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We will intensify our capacity to maximize without lessening our power to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our power to synthesize.