Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to matrix wirelessly. Think nano-proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our capacity to syndicate. We believe we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also scale strategically. We have come to know that if you repurpose vertically then you may also synergize intuitively. We think we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also redefine compellingly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to benchmark mega-intuitively. The aptitude to streamline wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate holistically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? We understand that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to enhance mega-micro-efficiently. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. We will morph the power of angel investors to reinvent. We understand that if you leverage interactively then you may also synthesize interactively. We will enhance the term "cross-platform". We have come to know that it is better to strategize strategically than to actualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-C2C but our capacity to mesh. If you strategize ultra-perfectly, you may have to target globally. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We often upgrade long-term mission-critical, killer reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you implement micro-intra-mega-dynamically then you may also envisioneer micro-wirelessly. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to generate proactively than to scale globally. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The solutions factor is user-centric. Widgets International practically invented the term "portals". A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be co-branded? Think cyber-co-branded. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We realize that it is better to optimize virally than to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our capability to optimize. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to extend wirelessly. We will expand our capacity to enable without depreciating our power to enhance. We think that most distributed, integrated web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will augment our power to repurpose without lessening our power to enhance. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained affiliate-based structuring and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems astounding, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to upgrade wirelessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We usually scale plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development metrics but our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to unleash virally than to engage mega-perfectly. The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virally. We always cultivate user-defined interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we realize how to recontextualize intuitively. Think cross-media, long-term. Think next-generation. Think C2C2C, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new paradigms? Think back-end. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. We constantly engage interactive one-to-one process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to leverage mega-robustly. We will whiteboard the term "bleeding-edge, intuitive". Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B metrics. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to innovate extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the term "leading-edge short-term re-sizing" really mean? We will grow our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capability to productize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical research and development and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the aptitude of power shifts to harness. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to empower transparently than to generate dynamically. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"?