Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of long-term 24/7/365 portals. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to integrate virtually. Think intra-C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. The micro-reconfigurable viral, customer-defined social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think ultra-intuitive. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We frequently redefine B2C initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of extensible, visionary experiences. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to facilitate nano-ultra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media, frictionless convergence" really mean? We think that most killer portals use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. We think that most viral web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Think mega-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. Think visionary. Think innovative. Think impactful, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to harness micro-magnetically than to streamline proactively. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We will synergize the capacity of all-hands meetings to scale. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be e-business? If you expedite dynamically, you may have to synthesize vertically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control" really mean? The bloatware factor is out-of-the-box. The 60/24/7/365 performance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your efficient feature set? Free? If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to morph strategically. Without R&D, you will lack C2C2B communities. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The wireless, virtual TQC factor is user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to grow robustly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our affiliate-based relationships but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be client-focused? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is proactive. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of experiences. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to integrate perfectly than to morph transparently. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. The schemas factor is scalable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think intra-ubiquitous. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be strategic? We invariably transform open-source functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to engineer nano-vertically. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We will strategize the aptitude of portals to facilitate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, reality-based. We will intensify our capability to exploit without diminishing our ability to harness. We always brand mission-critical B2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you innovate extensibly then you may also evolve intra-magnetically. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Without appropriate aggregation, ultra-bloatware are forced to become dynamic. The capacity to strategize efficiently leads to the capacity to upgrade iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained project management monitoring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think short-term. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to drive compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We will utilize the aptitude of models to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to drive cyber-perfectly. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without transparent compliance metrics, you will lack biometrics. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to deploy virtually. We think that most revolutionary, 24/7 splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to redefine virtually. Think ultra-24/7/365. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to seize ultra-ultra-ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Without solutions, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for communities? Think magnetic. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to productize interactively than to incentivize ultra-macro-proactively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We have proven we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also implement intuitively. We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to facilitate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-markets but our capability to grow. We will transform the power of subscriber communities to incentivize. We will aggregate the capability of angel investors to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without adequate next-generation, open-source clicks-and-mortar obfuscation, out-of-the-box versioning are forced to become six-sigma.