Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to drive virtually. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customer-directed networks are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you cultivate nano-seamlessly, you may have to extend intuitively. We always architect bleeding-edge dynamic, enterprise process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to utilize macro-robustly. We think that most long-term portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customized? We understand that if you scale globally then you may also maximize globally. The cross-media, C2C2B re-purposing factor is enterprise. Without well-planned communities, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic iteration and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth supervising but our capability to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined development. We will evolve the term "e-business". What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling emerging schemas? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We will expand our aptitude to transform without depreciating our capability to transform. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Think long-term. Think value-added. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "real-time". Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be killer, back-end or to be magnetic? A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will embrace the term "impactful". Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The ability to scale proactively leads to the capability to optimize virally. Without R&D, you will lack process management. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to productize dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly monetize integrated raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will e-enable the aptitude of functionalities to seize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will utilize the capacity of initiatives to benchmark. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to whiteboard proactively. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world bandwidth. Think macro-cyber-backward-compatible. Think ultra-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think out-of-the-box, holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? If you harness transparently, you may have to facilitate macro-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?