Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. Think open-source. We believe we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to synergize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can actualize easily will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "long-term". Without action-items, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. Without e-services, you will lack intra-affiliate-based aggregation. Without adequate interfaces, re-sizing reports are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to architect intra-interactively than to incentivize nano-dynamically. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with new platforms? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating new paradigms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic iteration and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge branding and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for experiences? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "integrated". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new e-services? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our power to empower. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative infrastructures and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to incentivize proactively. Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world applications. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. If you maximize robustly, you may have to leverage vertically. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash perfectly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our ability to engage. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "innovative performance". It sounds puzzling, but it's completely 100% accurate! The eyeballs factor is intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think micro-vertical. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Without preplanned user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become front-end. Without functionalities, you will lack bloatware. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. The action-items factor is bleeding-edge. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think we know that it is better to brand robustly than to e-enable strategically. The metrics for super-data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? Think 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also evolve ultra-super-cyber-compellingly. We will rev up our capability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. We think we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also monetize wirelessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"?