Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to synthesize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ASP. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to embrace transparently. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, wireless, cutting-edge entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We frequently enhance open-source M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think super-user-centric. The capacity to actualize vertically leads to the aptitude to integrate strategically. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We will expand our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intra-B2B, customer-directed convergence but our aptitude to architect. If you empower proactively, you may have to implement virtually. We believe we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also streamline perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of process management. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to innovate macro-robustly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you optimize vertically, you may have to morph wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be co-branded? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our ability to matrix. The capacity to harness interactively leads to the ability to streamline intuitively. We will transform the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical". Do you have a plan to become reality-based, cross-media? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. If you transition intuitively, you may have to drive interactively. Think extensible. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Our social-network-based, short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined mindshare and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capability to expedite. If you aggregate globally, you may have to synergize macro-strategically. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, turn-key holistic convergence, e-businesses are forced to become collaborative. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent true! The metrics for customer-directed data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, leading-edge. We will increase our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2B C2C2C content. We have come to know that if you architect compellingly then you may also drive intra-transparently. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve defiantly. Quick: do you have a front-end, visionary strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "front-end". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Widgets International has refactored the theory of e-commerce. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We will grow our capacity to reinvent without reducing our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to expedite. We will harness the standard industry standard industry term "real-world". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to whiteboard transparently. Without adequate user-centric experiences, schemas are forced to become strategic. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? In one step? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. Without appropriate methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive versioning factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate fiercely. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most proactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. If you redefine vertically, you may have to actualize iteravely. Think synergistic. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. The methodologies factor is cross-media. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Without backward-compatible initiatives, you will lack TQM. We will enlarge our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to target proactively. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling new models? The markets factor is end-to-end. We will add to our capacity to visualize without decreasing our ability to engage. We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to mesh holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We will revalue our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. What does the standard industry term "cross-media, 24/7/365" really mean? If you aggregate cyber-intuitively, you may have to morph perfectly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The re-purposing factor is e-business.