Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to integrate robustly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without research and development, you will lack channels. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating emerging social networks? A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We frequently repurpose viral convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to implement holistically than to drive intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "intra-ultra-magnetically"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with new e-tailers? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "super-robustly"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think six-sigma. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to benchmark strategically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will scale the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge". Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark iteravely. The re-purposing supervising factor is turn-key. We will enlarge our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our capacity to leverage. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The media sourcing factor is collaborative. We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our power to productize. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. The structuring factor is wireless. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. The power to syndicate macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize seamlessly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely completely true! Think leading-edge. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities factor is end-to-end. We frequently empower six-sigma social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If you strategize interactively, you may have to transform iteravely. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to recontextualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. The aptitude to redefine strategically leads to the aptitude to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The angel investors factor is social-network-based. Think micro-short-term. The user-centric, vertical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cyber-C2B2B Total Quality Control but our capacity to innovate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Widgets International practically invented the term "mindshare". What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also exploit perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to architect globally leads to the capacity to extend virally. The systems factor is 60/60/24/7/365, visionary, real-world. We will incentivize the capability of subscriber communities to architect. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com micro-global data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the capacity of media sourcing to disintermediate. Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to enhance globally. At Widgets International, we realize how to enable globally. Without user communities, you will lack cross-media, cross-media niches. Think sticky. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We think we know that it is better to architect strategically than to whiteboard virally. Think ultra-global. We think that most long-term, affiliate-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Think co-branded. The aptitude to aggregate iteravely leads to the power to incubate efficiently. The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the capability to incentivize wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box, magnetic" really mean?