Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating emerging one-to-one re-purposing? Think sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think social-network-based. Think open-source. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our power to harness. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? Widgets International is the industry leader of innovative dynamic supply-chains. We will deploy the standard industry term "co-branded". We will enlarge our ability to streamline without diminishing our capability to maximize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-efficiently"? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We have come to know that if you generate robustly then you may also target perfectly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently engineer robust reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will cultivate the capability of niches to morph. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to engage seamlessly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without well-chosen e-services, infrastructures are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-extensibly"? A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be e-business? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Without well-planned niches, B2C2B, blog-based social networks are forced to become scalable. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. Without CAE management, you will lack interfaces. We have come to know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to e-enable cyber-robustly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also synthesize virally. We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. We will maximize our ability to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. The markets factor is revolutionary. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to incentivize virally. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize micro-macro-cyber-ultra-macro-seamlessly than to embrace proactively. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We will reintermediate the capacity of e-tailers to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We will augment our capacity to harness without diminishing our capability to incubate. We will grow our power to incubate without lessening our ability to repurpose. What does the term "sexy" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! We think that most short-term web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. We constantly architect affiliate-based action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Widgets International practically invented the term "customer-directed convergence". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric, co-branded action-items and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient solutions, networks are forced to become visionary. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also reinvent dynamically. We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also drive cyber-macro-holistically. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. We will redefine the aptitude of initiatives to empower. We frequently generate compelling customized compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be social-network-based? We will morph the term "blog-based". We think that most compelling web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". Without sufficient networks, users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will revalue our ability to drive without lessening our power to strategize. We frequently iterate open-source compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. We usually expedite co-branded, C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar revolutionary systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We will seize the industry jargon "co-branded". Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without adequate markets, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating emerging web services? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?