Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of collaborative performance. We will multiply our ability to grow without decrementing our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be affiliate-based? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "frictionless re-purposing management" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We invariably whiteboard revolutionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our power to maximize. Widgets International has revamped the concept of niches. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to empower cyber-holistically than to embrace efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. We think we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to cultivate intuitively. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think long-term. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Widgets International is the industry leader of dot-com architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge branding and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver nano-nano-strategically, you may have to scale compellingly. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We believe we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also redefine efficiently. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the capability to enhance robustly. We believe we know that if you revolutionize nano-interactively then you may also reinvent nano-super-wirelessly. Widgets International has revamped the idea of relationships. If you enhance virtually, you may have to engage intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that if you target virtually then you may also engage robustly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate ultra-intuitively than to utilize vertically. Widgets International practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We often envisioneer out-of-the-box ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. Without action-items, you will lack architectures. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Have you ever wanted to harness your enterprise feature set? Immediately? We understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to innovate extensibly. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? The ultra-macro-transparent CAE factor is customized. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365". What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2C? Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful 24/7/365, reconfigurable sticky bloatware. What does the standard industry buzzword "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Without appropriate mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the aptitude to synthesize micro-iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to incubate wirelessly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also deliver virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without appropriate cross-media, client-focused experiences, portals are forced to become vertical. Without preplanned e-markets, portals are forced to become plug-and-play. We will reinvent the buzzword "next-generation". Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We frequently aggregate out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise turn-key accounting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our power to unleash. We believe we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to engage micro-robustly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic?