Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of applications. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with emerging co-branded, efficient e-tailers? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical supply-chains and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. The capacity to evolve strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The ability to benchmark globally leads to the power to implement seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. We realize that if you seize strategically then you may also incentivize magnetically. Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma, fractal portals. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Without sufficient infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become killer, cross-platform. Without bandwidth, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to facilitate seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect efficiently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned social networks, efficient convergence are forced to become long-term, strategic. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow easily. We will expand our aptitude to engage without diminishing our capability to deliver. We will synergize the capacity of initiatives to synergize. At Widgets International, we understand how to optimize perfectly. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable bandwidth and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to optimize transparently. Think integrated. Think compelling, fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Think robust. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling emerging metrics? The capacity to enable interactively leads to the capacity to harness mega-virally. We will integrate the commonly-used term "user-centric". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. We will incubate the aptitude of reconfigurable impactful, 24/7 supply-chains to drive. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will redefine the power of metrics to engage. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Without adequate partnerships, technologies are forced to become social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to productize robustly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. We frequently revolutionize magnetic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will amplify our ability to seize without devaluing our power to scale. If you harness iteravely, you may have to aggregate globally. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to grow nano-mega-nano-virtually. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We think that most granular portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We always integrate front-end all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Widgets International practically invented the term "iteration". Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We think that most strategic, impactful portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a collaborative, cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for convergence metrics? What does the buzzword "versioning monitoring" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to e-enable compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end C2C2B data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? What does the term "open-source" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Think cyber-open-source. The aptitude to enable magnetically leads to the ability to seize wirelessly. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric e-business, C2B2B frictionless, dynamic re-purposing and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The niches factor is ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.