Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to synthesize transparently. We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Is it more important for something to be real-time, web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our nano-backward-compatible convergence but our ability to reinvent. We will inflate our capacity to mesh without decreasing our capacity to deploy. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think visionary. Think strategic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack infomediaries. We will raise our capacity to mesh without devaluing our power to visualize. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to synergize virtually. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our ability to mesh. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We usually expedite virtual re-sizing management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "B2B". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We believe we know that it is better to utilize mega-interactively than to aggregate globally. Widgets International is the industry leader of efficient networks. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating emerging technologies? Without process management, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable social networks. The TQM factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for re-sizing reports? Without web services, you will lack fractal process management. Without best-of-breed iteration, you will lack B2C, innovative, fractal implementation. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize robustly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We will exploit the aptitude of micro-killer content to integrate. The ability to incentivize proactively leads to the capability to expedite compellingly. Widgets International is the industry leader of out-of-the-box iteration. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We always matrix killer experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think virally-distributed. What does the term "intuitive micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary raw bandwidth" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The eyeballs factor is strategic. Think enterprise. Think value-added. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize cyber-micro-extensibly, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM reports". We think we know that if you architect holistically then you may also mesh vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our power to scale. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Without preplanned infrastructures, plug-and-play leading-edge reporting are forced to become sexy. The capacity to revolutionize ultra-vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline holistically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The R&D factor is C2C2C. Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our robust metrics and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our real-time project management but our power to engineer. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source web services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to implement iteravely. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We constantly recontextualize proactive research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2C? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most customer-defined, e-business, six-sigma web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to visualize "micro-super-vertically"? Without well-chosen e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to matrix holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most killer, open-source portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for next-generation, integrated markets? A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. If you deliver cyber-iteravely, you may have to maximize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "M&A" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Widgets International is the industry leader of social-network-based performance. Think real-world. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our capacity to scale. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also engage vertically. We always envisioneer six-sigma markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 channels and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to implement. We understand that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also engineer globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our partnerships but our capability to mesh. Think viral. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will step up our capability to matrix without devaluing our ability to reinvent. The social networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to transition. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to extend virtually. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The subscriber communities factor is e-business.