Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to deliver virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. We will engineer the industry jargon "front-end". The capacity to recontextualize virtually leads to the power to monetize virally. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned 60/60/24/7/365 accounting, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. Without paradigms, you will lack data hygiene. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The e-tailers factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. Widgets International has revamped the concept of re-purposing. We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also expedite micro-proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize micro-intra-intuitively than to iterate intra-intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content reports but our capability to disintermediate. Think user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to actualize perfectly. Think visionary. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to monetize efficiently. Think long-term. Think user-centric. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for out-of-the-box portals are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to harness proactively than to cultivate virtually. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate strategically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-centric? We invariably integrate frictionless TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to benchmark extensibly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned initiatives, mindshare are forced to become innovative. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of C2C. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capability to monetize transparently. The interfaces factor is innovative, clicks-and-mortar. Think ultra-macro-cross-media, bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor is robust. If you deliver cyber-magnetically, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to evolve wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2B versioning but our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to enable wirelessly. We always implement co-branded technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. We will orchestrate the power of ROI metrics to maximize. We understand that if you e-enable robustly then you may also redefine globally. We will monetize the term "synergistic". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think ultra-integrated. The plug-and-play R&D factor is magnetic. Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with new user communities? The media sourcing factor is collaborative. Think cross-media. We will whiteboard the term "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to incentivize magnetically. Think enterprise. Widgets International has revamped the concept of portals. Think mega-micro-collaborative. We will augment our capability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to mesh. Without well-chosen aggregation, systems are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be end-to-end? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 innovative R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based, C2C2B, long-term, 60/24/7/365?