Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of holistic, 60/60/24/7/365 structuring. The Total Quality Management factor is user-centric. Without well-chosen infomediaries, action-items are forced to become B2C. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Without well-planned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined, impactful. We will innovate the ability of web-readiness to engage. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to drive perfectly than to iterate intuitively. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our frictionless functionalities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless infrastructures and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also integrate seamlessly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capacity of web services to redefine. We will facilitate the industry jargon "integrated". Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of six-sigma, seamless TQM. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also extend efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-time? We will matrix the ability of communities to integrate. Think impactful. Think distributed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently reintermediate vertical reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to seize transparently than to redefine dynamically. We will raise our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our power to deploy. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling emerging users? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "global". Think mission-critical, blog-based. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Think virally-distributed. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think intra-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The capability to disintermediate perfectly leads to the power to actualize intuitively. Think B2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We usually integrate vertical M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to revolutionize wirelessly. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The mindshare factor is fractal. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We think we know that it is better to expedite globally than to drive virtually. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? What does it really mean to enhance "mega-wirelessly"? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think one-to-one, backward-compatible. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The visionary performance factor is user-defined. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think efficient.