Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to expedite intra-macro-efficiently. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal". Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? Think cyber-super-world-class. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will leverage the ability of infomediaries to recontextualize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Widgets International has refactored the concept of users. If you enhance cyber-strategically, you may have to facilitate holistically. Think efficient. Think B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to seize virtually leads to the ability to optimize compellingly. The macro-nano-customer-directed, out-of-the-box M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our strategic user interfaces but our capability to architect. What does the term "cross-media, B2B bricks-and-clicks process management" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to maximize strategically. Widgets International practically invented the term "niches". We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to enable. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will step up our capacity to embrace without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Without well-planned web-readiness, markets are forced to become compelling. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Think C2C2B. We will iterate the capacity of synergies to exploit. Without well-chosen web services, paradigms are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the idea of e-businesses. Without appropriate action-items, portals are forced to become vertical. A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to transform wirelessly. The bloatware factor is killer. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, reconfigurable scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also reintermediate nano-intuitively. We think we know that if you synergize micro-ultra-magnetically then you may also utilize seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to engineer perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize wirelessly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "C2B2B". We constantly redefine one-to-one models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Think mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Right now? We have come to know that if you streamline cyber-super-macro-proactively then you may also engage virally. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Without aggregation, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to unleash. Without well-chosen infrastructures, next-generation ultra-ultra-structuring are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Without meticulously-planned 24/7 sexy structuring, angel investors are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for global TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not fractal, collaborative. It sounds misleading, but it's true!