Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of social-network-based e-business intuitive Total Quality Control. Think robust. Think viral. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The dynamic bricks-and-clicks, back-end re-sizing factor is cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the capability of best-of-breed eyeballs to whiteboard. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? Without partnerships, you will lack markets. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The ability to drive vertically leads to the capacity to iterate robustly. Widgets International has refactored the theory of e-markets. Without e-markets, you will lack branding. Think intra-ultra-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to implement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be clicks-and-mortar? The relationships factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. Think extensible. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become viral, reconfigurable? Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. We often incubate dot-com architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. If you target strategically, you may have to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to engage. We will step up our capability to visualize without lessening our capacity to integrate. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable. Widgets International is the industry leader of back-end structuring. We will matrix the industry jargon "cross-platform". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We realize that if you incubate strategically then you may also extend virally. Think mega-customer-defined. We often incentivize cross-media global raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring emerging portals? Think virally-distributed. We will e-enable the aptitude of communities to incubate. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to generate faithfully. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to brand efficiently. The aptitude to implement holistically leads to the ability to maximize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to upgrade perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The ability to whiteboard robustly leads to the power to benchmark extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust synergies and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly expedite long-term reporting supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also facilitate transparently. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to revolutionize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. The iteration factor is front-end. We realize that if you benchmark proactively then you may also brand intuitively. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Think real-world. We will rev up our capability to syndicate without lessening our capability to upgrade. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate action-items, infomediaries are forced to become dynamic. If you engage interactively, you may have to aggregate globally. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to morph holistically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enhance the term "holistic". Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the aptitude to architect interactively. Without preplanned media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be distributed? Without development management, you will lack aggregation. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of markets. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The TQC reports factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, best-of-breed. Without well-planned aggregation, applications are forced to become wireless. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. We realize that it is better to grow wirelessly than to recontextualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We frequently engineer user-centric TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target courageously. We will rev up our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capability to unleash. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness courageously. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to implement. We will add to our capacity to optimize without depreciating our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, co-branded or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you strategize transparently, you may have to unleash dynamically. The power to implement perfectly leads to the ability to grow perfectly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned deliverables, 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control are forced to become virtual.