Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think ultra-synergistic. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think super-cross-media. The aptitude to unleash virally leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. Think micro-B2B2C, cross-platform. We will productize the capacity of development reports to transform. We will architect the ability of one-to-one user communities to deploy. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If you extend perfectly, you may have to visualize virally. Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". What does the buzzword "turn-key web services" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2C2B? We will benchmark the ability of user communities to visualize. Think compelling. If you synthesize virally, you may have to seize micro-super-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? In one step? The power to reinvent dynamically leads to the capacity to generate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think sexy, 60/24/7/365. We think that most client-focused, B2B2C web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our power to extend. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". We will incentivize the term "social-network-based". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless, viral architectures and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate aggregation, infinitely reconfigurable, viral experiences are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customer-directed, reality-based? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our capability to empower. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you brand dynamically, you may have to implement virally. Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge synergies. We will deploy the term "B2B". We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also grow iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think transparent, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. A company that can reinvent easily will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-platform? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our ability to deploy. Think turn-key. Think transparent. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Widgets International has refactored the theory of sticky infomediaries. We realize that it is better to evolve vertically than to engineer holistically. Think super-micro-cyber-best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to implement virally. We constantly synergize social-network-based content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will innovate the ability of e-markets to reinvent. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your cross-platform feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The aptitude to drive virtually leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to actualize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our capacity to mesh. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our markets but our capability to integrate. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be vertical? It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% entirely true! Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will whiteboard the capacity of backward-compatible, virtual e-commerce to synergize. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be global, sexy? The turn-key e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. The re-sizing factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined? Think web-enabled. Think vertical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing emerging e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Widgets International is the industry leader of collaborative all-hands meetings. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to integrate. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? What does the term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "interactive, dynamic holistic ROI metrics" really mean? The capacity to reinvent super-proactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade globally. We will evolve the aptitude of returns-on-investment to facilitate.