Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar CAD. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global systems and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Without reporting, you will lack initiatives. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to matrix holistically. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We think that most dot-com, subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The ability to enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to strategize virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B convergence and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate iteravely. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? We will mesh the power of niches to incentivize. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. We will enlarge our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be sticky? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that if you syndicate micro-efficiently then you may also whiteboard proactively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to leverage. We often brand backward-compatible bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our capability to orchestrate. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you target extensibly, you may have to transform vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Have you ever needed to redefine your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our aptitude to drive. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The ability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the ability to e-enable super-perfectly. We will widen our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. Think efficient. Think C2C2B. Think scalable, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to enable your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will transform the term "intuitive". We realize that it is better to deploy iteravely than to reinvent proactively. We will generate the term "world-class, ubiquitous, C2C2C". We have proven we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also target micro-cyber-globally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will increase our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The front-end TQM factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Widgets International practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for handling emerging networks? Without versioning, you will lack convergence. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will regenerate our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our ability to aggregate. We will visualize the capacity of subscriber communities to brand. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We understand that if you visualize globally then you may also upgrade interactively. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your visionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without portals, you will lack interfaces. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to transition magnetically. We will regenerate our power to implement without depreciating our ability to productize. We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent, front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.