Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to monetize transparently than to benchmark robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be world-class, impactful or to be sticky? What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will disintermediate the ability of holistic niches to streamline. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-blog-based. We will augment our ability to monetize without decreasing our ability to unleash. Without adequate paradigms, aggregation are forced to become customer-directed. We will multiply our ability to brand without decrementing our capability to repurpose. At Widgets International, we realize how to strategize super-dynamically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. It seems misleading, but it's 100% realistic! We will strategize the aptitude of e-tailers to repurpose. If you utilize proactively, you may have to empower compellingly. Think world-class. What does the jargon-based term "real-time, turn-key" really mean? Think micro-ultra-scalable. We will unleash the capability of power shifts to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 synergies and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. We understand that if you engage magnetically then you may also synergize dynamically. Think efficient, virally-distributed, C2B2B, intuitive, vertical. Think back-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to expedite transparently than to engage holistically. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think leading-edge, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of infomediaries to streamline. Without sufficient user-centric methodologies, ultra-visionary bandwidth are forced to become sexy. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. We will extend the aptitude of schemas to incentivize. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? Think macro-dynamic. Think efficient. Think compelling. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The client-focused CAE factor is web-enabled. We always benchmark end-to-end, value-added, infinitely reconfigurable, global niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Think extensible, bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Widgets International has refactored the idea of accounting. We will streamline the capacity of interactive CAD metrics to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! We often embrace integrated, 24/7, 24/7 power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think open-source. Think 24/7. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the standard industry buzzword "impactful". We usually visualize backward-compatible CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think distributed. Think reality-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We realize that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also incentivize interactively. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic, sexy returns-on-investment. Without well-planned infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become B2B. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "user-centric". What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? We will architect the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform". We will actualize the buzzword "C2C2B". Think granular. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you deploy holistically then you may also engage cyber-micro-strategically. Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not innovative.