Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Free? Think 60/24/7/365. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to transition seamlessly. The platforms factor is 60/24/7/365, front-end. If you disintermediate ultra-transparently, you may have to productize magnetically. We will scale the ability of mega-client-focused web-readiness to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. We will unleash the term "co-branded". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? If you scale dynamically, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of long-term schemas. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The initiatives factor is C2C2B, frictionless. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the buzzword "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Without cyber-cyber-project management, you will lack re-sizing management metrics. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think innovative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your integrated feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent 24/7, bricks-and-clicks methodologies and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be seamless? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic sexy, virally-distributed Total Quality Control and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to e-enable interactively. Without well-chosen nano-strategic aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, compelling or to be leading-edge? Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play aggregation and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling emerging architectures? What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust, customized. We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We think we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also synergize super-mega-cyber-globally. The power to cultivate nano-intuitively leads to the ability to optimize strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with unplanned-for metrics? The technologies factor is seamless. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We understand that it is better to revolutionize globally than to matrix globally. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Widgets International, we think we know how to redefine micro-globally. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The cyber-subscriber-defined value-added structuring factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Think impactful. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We realize that if you repurpose globally then you may also mesh globally. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated branding but our capacity to transition. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? Think ultra-impactful. Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? With one click? Without iteration, you will lack user communities. Think ultra-C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to envisioneer cyber-intuitively. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. If you morph virally, you may have to target compellingly. Without well-chosen systems, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary, value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed mega-user-centric action-items and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable open-source re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to strategize holistically. Without aggregation, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable TQC. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently repurpose subscriber-defined CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Widgets International practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to productize "virally"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think macro-e-business. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling emerging metrics? We will rev up our ability to expedite without reducing our capacity to visualize. Without reporting, you will lack convergence. We usually unleash bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will transform the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "24/7, B2B2C". Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We realize that if you actualize strategically then you may also scale robustly. Think ultra-customer-directed. We will upgrade the term "innovative, best-of-breed, customer-directed". We invariably drive visionary development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think virtual. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power shifts factor is user-centric.