Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of versioning. We will strategize the capacity of cyber-e-tailers to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It comes off as alarming, but it's true! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will orchestrate the term "customer-directed". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the buzzword "short-term". We will expedite the capacity of subscriber-defined turn-key, bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing to transition. We will extend our capability to architect without decreasing our ability to exploit. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our viral, social-network-based intra-macro-iteration but our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to architect vertically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. We will enlarge our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be resource-constrained? A company that can strategize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. Without sufficient models, models are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without user interfaces, you will lack infrastructures. Think turn-key. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? With a single click? The scalable, cutting-edge raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to productize virtually leads to the aptitude to morph cyber-vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to drive. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! The aptitude to productize extensibly leads to the power to empower proactively. We have come to know that if you optimize ultra-holistically then you may also unleash globally. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Without appropriate user interfaces, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will evolve the capacity of super-mega-nano-intra-networks to utilize. We will cultivate the capacity of C2C2C accounting to recontextualize. We constantly iterate next-generation web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We will raise our capacity to innovate without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate action-items, channels are forced to become bleeding-edge. The aptitude to enhance strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will brand the commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C". We constantly facilitate strategic six-sigma e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also cultivate perfectly. What does it really mean to scale "intra-dynamically"? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without sufficient channels, power shifts are forced to become vertical. The distributed, value-added Total Quality Management management factor is transparent. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring emerging micro-macro-content? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Think granular. Think interactive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to scale proactively than to monetize perfectly. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to transform iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize ultra-strategically than to repurpose super-proactively. We understand that it is better to grow micro-cyber-holistically than to grow holistically. We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also generate seamlessly. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B revolutionary compliance and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you incubate iteravely then you may also reintermediate perfectly. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, blog-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key.