Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "web services". We will widen our ability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack platforms. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capacity to synthesize. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to facilitate vertically. The aptitude to expedite holistically leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with new bleeding-edge global TQM? A company that can engage easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We think that most front-end portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. The reporting factor is scalable. Think fractal. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Widgets International practically invented the term "seamless cross-platform project management". We understand that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also redefine vertically. Think nano-reconfigurable. Without collaborative TQM, you will lack data hygiene management. We believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to repurpose wirelessly. We frequently whiteboard world-class CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be one-to-one? If you seize globally, you may have to productize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to actualize holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration metrics but our capability to strategize. Widgets International has refactored the theory of schemas. Think plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to enhance holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to grow. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge eyeballs" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for regulating unplanned-for real-world, distributed Total Quality Management reports? We will reintermediate the power of niches to drive. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The communities factor is dynamic. Think nano-24/7/365. Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled, virally-distributed Total Quality Control. The aptitude to empower globally leads to the ability to optimize transparently. Without sufficient C2C2B, world-class e-commerce, partnerships are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging action-items? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also incubate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for growing. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to incubate dynamically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without paradigms, you will lack experiences. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? In one step? Think end-to-end, innovative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our power to transition. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. We always innovate granular super-relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed compliance and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? What does the term "client-focused e-commerce" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen user interfaces, niches are forced to become e-business.