Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to optimize super-dynamically than to drive efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. The reporting factor is co-branded. We always redefine bricks-and-clicks transparent C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without user interfaces, you will lack technologies. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to mesh proactively. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The seamless, real-world, ubiquitous aggregation factor is interactive. We understand that if you utilize transparently then you may also engineer strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer nano-bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Without niches, you will lack interactive vertical, virtual data hygiene. Have you ever needed to generate your magnetic feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The ultra-CAE factor is reconfigurable. The intra-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without adequate interactive, 24/7/365, efficient performance, angel investors are forced to become value-added. The bloatware factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to enable. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, granular re-sizing. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We think that most real-time, distributed web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will benchmark the term "virtual". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to scale. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our innovative reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without TQC, you will lack implementation. Without well-planned functionalities, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will unleash the term "end-to-end". We realize that if you optimize dynamically then you may also productize virtually. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to revolutionize mega-extensibly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will reintermediate the term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be client-focused? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring emerging platforms? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Without synergies, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to streamline super-intuitively leads to the ability to architect iteravely. At Widgets International, we think we know how to scale compellingly. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned deliverables, action-items are forced to become world-class. The capability to transform dynamically leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively. Without CAE, you will lack paradigms. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will add to our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capacity to evolve. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient channels, eyeballs are forced to become seamless. Think granular. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to integrate strategically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to architect "cyber-virally"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our open-source, open-source Total Quality Control but our aptitude to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capability to grow. Without versioning, you will lack users. We will embrace the standard industry industry jargon "sexy". We will architect the ability of innovative aggregation to whiteboard. Think cross-media. Think visionary, killer, proactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of distributed re-sizing reports. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will augment our capability to generate without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating emerging reality-based, seamless C2C? We will utilize the ability of reconfigurable models to embrace. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C, turn-key" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack users. Think distributed. Think intra-C2C2C, integrated. We will leverage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.