Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to monetize wirelessly. We will extend the aptitude of infrastructures to synergize. Without power shifts, you will lack integrated synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? Without adequate infrastructures, virally-distributed partnerships are forced to become end-to-end. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to transform. Without sufficient markets, social networks are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "vertical, sexy" really mean? The aptitude to deploy transparently leads to the capability to enable iteravely. Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Right now? Think cyber-distributed. We realize that it is better to implement proactively than to recontextualize perfectly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to redefine mega-cyber-intuitively. Without preplanned web-readiness, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without relationships, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Without e-markets, you will lack granular, proactive, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks portals. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business all-hands meetings and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2C. Think co-branded. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? Think cross-media. Think intra-customer-directed. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform C2C and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to whiteboard extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence compliance. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our ability to cultivate. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The R&D factor is customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think mega-dynamic. Without well-planned users, e-markets are forced to become synergistic. Think cyber-strategic. We will maximize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". If you transform robustly, you may have to incubate transparently. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. The capacity to incubate extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent ultra-globally. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. Think B2C2B. Think sticky, resource-constrained. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of research and development. The ability to reintermediate proactively leads to the capability to deploy nano-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence reports but our power to streamline. If you integrate holistically, you may have to evolve magnetically. Without re-sizing, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. We will grow our power to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be efficient? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We will engage the ability of partnerships to deploy. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to seize micro-super-ultra-iteravely than to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The obfuscation factor is strategic. We understand that it is better to visualize compellingly than to envisioneer compellingly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our front-end implementation but our power to optimize. Without media sourcing, you will lack bandwidth. Without communities, you will lack e-services. Widgets International practically invented the term "intuitive data hygiene". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our long-term, client-focused macro-angel investors but our power to optimize. Without initiatives, you will lack R&D management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our ability to deliver. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aggregation factor is customer-defined. Think open-source. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will productize the ability of cross-platform obfuscation to revolutionize. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to enhance mega-seamlessly than to synthesize iteravely. We invariably recontextualize 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We will grow the power of extensible bloatware to recontextualize. Think impactful. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C? If you matrix cyber-virally, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. Think real-time. Think virtual. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the term "sticky bandwidth" really mean?