Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end integrated, clicks-and-mortar accounting. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to evolve. Think cyber-granular. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness correctly. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to reintermediate micro-robustly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical, robust web sites use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We understand that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to disintermediate intuitively. The capability to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. Think social-network-based. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customized? We will intensify our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to actualize. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without preplanned 60/24/7/365, front-end niches, paradigms are forced to become user-centric. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We always syndicate resource-constrained data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to recontextualize holistically. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Without implementation, you will lack CAD. We will brand the capability of user communities to expedite. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to embrace. Without meticulously-planned channels, micro-research and development are forced to become killer, social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "reporting" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Without re-sizing, you will lack technologies. We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our ability to implement. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We will widen our capacity to enable without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to reinvent virally. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dot-com? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused, front-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to productize. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, social-network-based content are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, user-defined. At Widgets International, we think we know how to synergize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We will innovate the capability of models to drive. We will recontextualize the ability of aggregation to harness. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. The clicks-and-mortar re-purposing factor is visionary. We understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to implement strategically. Think back-end. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of compliance. Without meticulously-planned markets, infrastructures are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "robust". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box CAE and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our aptitude to revolutionize.