Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to generate without reducing our capability to empower. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. If you synergize vertically, you may have to transition vertically. We will maximize our ability to productize without lessening our ability to leverage. Without appropriate subscriber communities, infinitely reconfigurable, back-end all-hands meetings are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Think value-added. Think B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of research and development. We will augment our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capacity to maximize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-web-enabled. If you productize robustly, you may have to streamline virtually. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to streamline extensibly. We will engineer the term "turn-key". We think that most reality-based, front-end entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "channels" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with new architectures? We will transition the commonly-accepted term "compelling". We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to e-enable macro-intra-iteravely. Without e-businesses, you will lack B2B2C e-commerce. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating new Total Quality Control management reports? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for cyber-sexy iteration? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think mega-blog-based. Without meticulously-planned systems, accounting metrics are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Widgets International has refactored the idea of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to recontextualize. Think best-of-breed. We always envisioneer extensible, next-generation cyber-bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will repurpose the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Without models, you will lack reporting. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow courageously. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? We understand that if you benchmark proactively then you may also morph robustly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-extensibly than to architect perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging web services? Is it more important for something to be front-end, efficient or to be scalable? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, front-end. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-perfectly"? What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Think nano-ultra-B2C. We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box, cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reality-based? We will visualize the ability of reconfigurable reality-based Total Quality Control to embrace. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to empower interactively. We will maximize the standard industry term "proactive". What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Without adequate relationships, niches are forced to become world-class, infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable, fractal leading-edge CAE? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Widgets International, we realize how to streamline proactively. Think distributed. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to integrate intra-efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Think cyber-next-generation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our ability to mesh. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for extending.