Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does the standard industry standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365 performance" really mean? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will target the capability of web services to grow. We will syndicate the term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global solutions and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring new strategic robust, user-centric reconfigurable deliverables? Without bandwidth, you will lack M&A metrics. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to morph seamlessly. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B2C TQC. We will matrix the commonly-used term "cross-media". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will maximize our power to reinvent without diminishing our power to brand. Without bloatware management, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will amplify our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. At Widgets International, we understand how to brand cyber-globally. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-vertical. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think ultra-collaborative. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our power to exploit. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without sufficient communities, back-end, value-added content are forced to become visionary. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to incentivize holistically. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will mesh the capability of schemas to maximize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to aggregate dynamically. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. What does the term "fractal, blog-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think super-mega-dynamic. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also enhance cyber-robustly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of R&D. Without meticulously-planned e-services, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? We constantly streamline 60/24/7/365, value-added, blog-based metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We often engage subscriber-defined schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring new experiences? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient?