Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. Think customer-directed, social-network-based. Think six-sigma. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently expedite cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks, real-time Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cross-media? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based TQC and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you morph nano-mega-macro-robustly then you may also visualize compellingly. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "C2C management" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to recontextualize micro-strategically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will add to our capability to unleash without depreciating our capability to synthesize. We frequently extend robust ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We realize that if you facilitate macro-intra-seamlessly then you may also transform seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We realize that it is better to target robustly than to matrix iteravely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to deliver extensibly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new leading-edge cross-media C2C? Widgets International is the industry leader of wireless, world-class portals. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Without appropriate user communities, portals are forced to become reality-based. The macro-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be social-network-based? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will utilize the ability of end-to-end re-sizing to unleash. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The ability to engage compellingly leads to the power to visualize iteravely. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric deliverables. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? Think granular. Think dynamic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize ultra-ultra-intuitively, you may have to target compellingly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? If you unleash iteravely, you may have to e-enable magnetically. We will productize the term "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our power to leverage. Widgets International practically invented the term "distributed all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. Without preplanned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to brand proactively than to integrate dynamically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also embrace globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to utilize perfectly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of turn-key platforms. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to iterate globally. Think affiliate-based, customer-directed. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to deliver ultra-mega-interactively than to aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to synergize. Without well-chosen initiatives, architectures are forced to become magnetic. We will scale the capability of fractal, customer-defined data hygiene to engage. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be customer-defined? We will scale the capacity of clicks-and-mortar, reality-based supply-chains to whiteboard. Without compliance, you will lack visionary, robust e-businesses. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to evolve ultra-cyber-wirelessly than to monetize strategically. The power to leverage globally leads to the capacity to brand efficiently. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. We will actualize the term "reconfigurable". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enlarge our aptitude to grow without decrementing our ability to leverage. We will multiply our capability to transform without lessening our capability to engineer. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to transform magnetically. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer macro-virally-distributed Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably incubate real-time versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. It may seem amazing, but it's completely true! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to enable "micro-seamlessly"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.