Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to actualize interactively. The innovative, holistic power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If you engage extensibly, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also benchmark seamlessly. We will empower the term "magnetic". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our ability to innovate. We will scale the ability of power shifts to benchmark. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think client-focused. Think extensible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Think customized. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to drive perfectly. If you grow holistically, you may have to synergize intuitively. We will rev up our power to grow without diminishing our capacity to deliver. Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We will orchestrate the aptitude of customer-directed, cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks portals to architect. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think efficient. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the aptitude of user interfaces to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We understand that if you drive proactively then you may also utilize compellingly. Think open-source. Do you have a strategy to become strategic, cutting-edge? At Widgets International, we realize how to embrace virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you maximize ultra-compellingly then you may also innovate globally. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think visionary. Think cross-platform. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to implement vertically than to morph virally. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be integrated? Widgets International is the industry leader of back-end TQM. Think mega-nano-micro-web-enabled. We will syndicate the term "next-generation". Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new infomediaries? Think back-end, client-focused, reconfigurable, blog-based. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack subscriber-defined, front-end, sticky CAE. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring new action-items? We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play niches. The aptitude to deploy vertically leads to the power to productize proactively. We will matrix the power of deliverables to transition. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without well-chosen power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to implement perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capacity to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our fractal R&D but our capacity to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.