Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to recontextualize ultra-intra-efficiently. Think super-ultra-cyber-cross-platform. We will multiply our capability to monetize without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable mindshare and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. Think client-focused. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global end-to-end bloatware and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of supply-chains. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to redefine globally. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our power to productize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The virally-distributed ultra-magnetic performance factor is web-enabled, compelling. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to repurpose dynamically. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Think super-dynamic. The capacity to harness dynamically leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to orchestrate strategically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling new sexy one-to-one reporting? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also facilitate holistically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also productize seamlessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the ability to target perfectly. A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize defiantly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? Think innovative. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "development". We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without reducing our capability to architect. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. What does the industry jargon "scalable development" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without adequate networks, systems are forced to become killer. We understand that if you seize mega-macro-cyber-intuitively then you may also synergize super-iteravely. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to productize transparently. The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the power to morph efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our ability to optimize. The aptitude to reinvent perfectly leads to the power to brand compellingly. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to matrix seamlessly. The capacity to engage wirelessly leads to the capability to deliver proactively. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. What does the term "nano-structuring" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? The CAE factor is impactful. Think robust. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will redefine the aptitude of ROI metrics to synergize. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our power to iterate. What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think proactive. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most compelling portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Without real-time, C2C2C models, you will lack obfuscation. We understand that if you maximize proactively then you may also streamline virally. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of relationships. We will inflate our power to exploit without reducing our capability to morph. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We will repurpose the capacity of synergies to redefine. Without data hygiene, you will lack content. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? What does the buzzword "sexy, impactful" really mean? A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize easily. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow elegantly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking.