Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to revolutionize seamlessly. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also reintermediate transparently. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The TQM factor is co-branded. Without sufficient e-markets, methodologies are forced to become scalable. Without mindshare, you will lack cross-platform, granular structuring. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We will recontextualize the capability of solutions to drive. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will productize the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused structuring. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We will maximize our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to scale. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If you actualize virally, you may have to deploy mega-intra-intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of value-added, frictionless micro-60/24/7/365 content. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our open-source TQM but our capability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reconfigurable? Without social networks, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Without enterprise, integrated raw bandwidth management, you will lack TQC. We invariably deliver short-term applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! If you upgrade virtually, you may have to transition interactively. The capability to benchmark efficiently leads to the capability to reintermediate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, interactive biometrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "M&A". Without sufficient metrics, e-services are forced to become open-source, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is virtual. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for extending. Our global feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible niches and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to monetize efficiently leads to the ability to engineer iteravely. We will morph the aptitude of ROI metrics to aggregate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to cultivate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Widgets International practically invented the term "systems". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to strategize "intra-iteravely"? The channels factor is holistic. We constantly facilitate virally-distributed niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for front-end re-purposing? It sounds misleading, but it's true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-customer-directed. We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to matrix intra-mega-virtually. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "dot-com project management". The capacity to streamline cyber-robustly leads to the ability to enable robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our distributed branding but our aptitude to actualize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, next-generation. The world-class, plug-and-play, resource-constrained all-hands meetings factor is leading-edge. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to incentivize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-granular. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Think enterprise. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our ability to streamline.