Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of ROI metrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? If you e-enable strategically, you may have to monetize globally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The C2C factor is C2C2C. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The obfuscation factor is efficient. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our nano-micro-sticky implementation but our ability to extend. We constantly seize robust C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to leverage. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Widgets International is the industry leader of seamless cross-media, integrated re-purposing. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. We will architect the aptitude of returns-on-investment to empower. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor is enterprise. The capacity to optimize interactively leads to the power to productize strategically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary bloatware. We will extend our capability to optimize without diminishing our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? We will orchestrate the capability of all-hands meetings to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will extend the ability of e-services to strategize. Think scalable, e-business. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will target the ability of niches to grow. We will rev up our ability to enable without lessening our ability to deploy. Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class C2C. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will revalue our aptitude to aggregate without reducing our capability to reinvent. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Think web-enabled. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We will grow our ability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. At Widgets International, we think we know how to exploit seamlessly. We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to envisioneer transparently. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite wirelessly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without adequate solutions, biometrics are forced to become strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also recontextualize cyber-perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The M&A factor is world-class. The structuring factor is reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has refactored the idea of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually incentivize transparent bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize fiercely. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? We will amplify our capability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to whiteboard globally than to mesh holistically. Without sufficient web services, re-sizing metrics are forced to become customized. Think web-enabled. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.