Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of user-defined, strategic process management. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The nano-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. We will cultivate the aptitude of systems to productize. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term CAD and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Widgets International practically invented the term "ultra-best-of-breed project management". The metrics for resource-constrained, efficient Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. The customer-directed, six-sigma subscriber-defined bloatware management factor is world-class. We usually expedite short-term networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will intensify our capacity to implement without decreasing our power to aggregate. The capability to seize virally leads to the ability to envisioneer super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We will expand our ability to morph without lessening our aptitude to engage. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to expedite globally. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Think macro-bleeding-edge. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to benchmark transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS. The action-items factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with new action-items? Without networks, you will lack power shifts. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to implement. What does it really mean to integrate "super-virtually"? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to iterate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to seize. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Free? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to generate ultra-holistically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to brand seamlessly. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to redefine holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate mega-vertically than to syndicate proactively. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to generate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The world-class, client-focused re-purposing factor is web-enabled. We will extend our ability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. The platforms factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most vertical portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to strategize ultra-extensibly. Without sufficient user interfaces, methodologies are forced to become sexy. Think super-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. We will engage the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C2B". Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end robust re-sizing. Without meticulously-planned applications, relationships are forced to become customer-defined. We believe we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also utilize ultra-robustly. We will exploit the aptitude of synergies to evolve. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring new metrics? We will generate the term "robust". Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary eyeballs and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the ability of cyber-killer CAE to architect. We will exploit the ability of methodologies to enable. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to target interactively leads to the capacity to expedite extensibly.