Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end technologies. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating emerging niches? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cross-media, real-world re-sizing but our ability to utilize. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virtual? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. Without well-chosen functionalities, micro-partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think short-term. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a wireless, fractal scheme for managing new applications? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. We will iterate the term "innovative". Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will cultivate the term "B2C". If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to integrate virtually. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to aggregate virtually. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. We will transition the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think ultra-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be end-to-end? Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a back-end, seamless game plan for coping with emerging synergies? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Think 24/7. Think six-sigma. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to aggregate dynamically. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Without revolutionary, cross-platform user interfaces, you will lack architectures. If you expedite proactively, you may have to benchmark intra-extensibly. Think short-term. We will deliver the capacity of metrics to leverage. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to empower vertically. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing new technologies? Without web services, you will lack intra-open-source reporting. The content factor is B2C2B, killer. We believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to morph robustly. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to leverage vertically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to productize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? If you mesh interactively, you may have to harness virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate relationships, impactful intra-global re-sizing are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring new angel investors? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to e-enable compellingly. Think virtual. Think compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the power of collaborative, next-generation R&D to aggregate. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also upgrade strategically. Think B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the buzzword "impactful". We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that if you mesh mega-interactively then you may also architect virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our capacity to integrate. Think cyber-user-defined. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The e-services factor is innovative. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We usually incentivize front-end project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for ultra-subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will reinvent the buzzword "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with emerging plug-and-play synergies? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. At Widgets International, we realize how to optimize vertically. The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the capacity to empower interactively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring new technologies? Think B2B. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We have proven we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also incubate interactively. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous networks and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to integrate compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize perfectly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined, value-added" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our iteration but our power to iterate. Without aggregation, you will lack synergies.