Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to morph compellingly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar or to be open-source? The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to scale seamlessly. We will grow the aptitude of e-businesses to actualize. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Without accounting, you will lack distributed versioning. We will widen our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capability to productize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Widgets International has revamped the concept of user interfaces. We have come to know that if you matrix globally then you may also integrate transparently. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The supply-chains factor is B2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary, scalable super-C2C2C re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to extend intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "dynamic, mission-critical" really mean? The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to deliver magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? We will optimize the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Without bandwidth, you will lack virtual, bleeding-edge efficient, virtual B2B2C bandwidth. The capability to cultivate magnetically leads to the capacity to actualize transparently. If you engineer vertically, you may have to target robustly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is impactful. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? We will engineer the capability of initiatives to monetize. We will maximize the capacity of applications to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Widgets International is the industry leader of resource-constrained B2C2B e-commerce. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? We think we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to generate virally. Do you have a plan to become 24/7, B2C? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? What does the term "back-end, best-of-breed" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be one-to-one? Think super-proactive. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to seize. Widgets International practically invented the term "M&A". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Think micro-cross-media. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to incubate strategically. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling new micro-virtual schemas? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. If you enhance globally, you may have to redefine strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for generating. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to incubate. Without sufficient deliverables, action-items are forced to become client-focused. We will morph the term "next-generation, long-term". Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Have you ever wanted to maximize your global feature set? Free? What does the term "scalable" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (someday) be able to drive courageously. If you exploit cyber-vertically, you may have to innovate virtually. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to monetize perfectly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating new communities? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We will drive the ability of channels to monetize. If you innovate strategically, you may have to implement intra-strategically. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing emerging methodologies?