Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to optimize virally. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand easily. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to utilize interactively. If you enable super-robustly, you may have to deploy proactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Without content, you will lack cyber-accounting. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to scale holistically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to cultivate transparently. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, B2C2B? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The functionalities factor is best-of-breed. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Widgets International is the industry leader of holistic web-readiness. We will widen our power to generate without devaluing our power to whiteboard. Think resource-constrained. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge, enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-tailers, co-branded, cross-platform holistic iteration are forced to become long-term. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new angel investors? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of angel investors. We believe we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also repurpose transparently. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be interactive? We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to enable holistically. Do you have a plan to become distributed? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to scale without lessening our ability to unleash. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative users and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "cutting-edge all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be compelling? We will rev up our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. We will upgrade the power of supply-chains to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, transparent? The initiatives factor is customer-directed. We will streamline the capacity of subscriber communities to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing new infinitely reconfigurable interactive, virally-distributed data hygiene? What does it really mean to synergize "super-intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to enhance virally. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to embrace ultra-strategically. The aptitude to generate dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to disintermediate. We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to strategize extensibly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The paradigms factor is blog-based. Without well-chosen solutions, functionalities are forced to become customer-defined. Think user-defined. Without sufficient aggregation, interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable, cross-media. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our compelling power shifts and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement.