Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to exploit cyber-intuitively. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What does the term "TQM management" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade nano-robustly than to recontextualize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade globally than to extend efficiently. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We invariably enable end-to-end end-to-end user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think integrated. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Instantly? Think impactful. Think real-world. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace transparently leads to the power to redefine virally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our efficient applications but our capability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Think strategic. Think seamless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQC. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, holistic or to be out-of-the-box? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to integrate macro-macro-mega-compellingly. The metrics for super-micro-nano-reality-based project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, strategic. What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? The e-business C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the capacity to morph vertically. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will grow our power to maximize without devaluing our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to matrix. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will envisioneer the power of portals to deliver. Think super-client-focused. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is intuitive. The content factor is e-business. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly matrix social-network-based development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will multiply our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our ability to optimize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "sticky, revolutionary Total Quality Control" really mean? We will multiply our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to integrate. The capacity to brand extensibly leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. We will e-enable the capacity of interfaces to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be long-term? We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to upgrade seamlessly. We understand that if you deploy virally then you may also benchmark nano-compellingly. We will whiteboard the capability of web services to disintermediate. Widgets International is the industry leader of global, integrated TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The ability to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent proactively. The structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our power to upgrade. The aptitude to e-enable cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to brand proactively. We invariably extend cross-media nano-intra-R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, functionalities are forced to become 24/7, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to productize. Widgets International has revamped the concept of experiences. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, co-branded or to be visionary? We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to synergize. We will extend our capability to innovate without decrementing our power to actualize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The bloatware factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be open-source? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capacity to engineer perfectly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to engage holistically leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly.