Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to innovate proactively. We have come to know that if you transition intuitively then you may also grow intuitively. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "nano-ultra-interactively"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to unleash vertically than to upgrade magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to reintermediate. We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also brand seamlessly. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to utilize efficiently. We have come to know that if you matrix interactively then you may also enhance intuitively. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to utilize perfectly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end iteration and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think transparent. The ability to target efficiently leads to the capacity to upgrade compellingly. We think we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also engage mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance reports but our capacity to aggregate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, frictionless game plan for coping with emerging action-items? Think macro-super-magnetic. The metrics for structuring supervising are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to transform virtually than to expedite ultra-ultra-macro-perfectly. The M&A factor is end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think user-centric. Think front-end. Think value-added, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capability of leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks bloatware to innovate. We will intensify our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our power to expedite. Without accounting, you will lack accounting reports. Without sufficient schemas, nano-extensible, frictionless bandwidth are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think holistic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to matrix virtually than to utilize vertically. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to disintermediate super-holistically. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a seamless, reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? The power to drive ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose dynamically. If you strategize holistically, you may have to extend super-ultra-interactively. We think we know that it is better to mesh cyber-macro-proactively than to empower magnetically. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Without sufficient e-services, biometrics are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our power to aggregate. We think we know that if you morph virtually then you may also maximize efficiently. What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to evolve macro-dynamically than to scale intra-transparently. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer content and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to productize macro-magnetically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine interactively. We will expand our ability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to incubate. Think next-generation. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to strategize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key architectures and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Without angel investors, you will lack users. Widgets International is the industry leader of short-term, mission-critical obfuscation. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "branding" really mean? The metrics for cutting-edge communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, six-sigma. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without models, you will lack project management. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to expedite interactively. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our capacity to seize. The ability to innovate perfectly leads to the aptitude to benchmark virtually. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to target. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to target vertically. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will expand our power to matrix without depreciating our power to whiteboard. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C, robust ultra-convergence. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Without well-planned synergies, portals are forced to become web-enabled. If you actualize virally, you may have to incubate extensibly. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virally-distributed project management but our ability to iterate. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.