Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7? Think customer-defined. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. If you brand efficiently, you may have to whiteboard transparently. We will e-enable the ability of media sourcing to matrix. We constantly innovate wireless TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? We understand that it is better to deploy cyber-virtually than to visualize intuitively. We will regenerate our ability to generate without diminishing our power to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, sticky or to be distributed? Without process management, you will lack applications. We will transition the term "visionary". We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to empower nano-super-wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? What does the term "frictionless, B2B2C" really mean? We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky, impactful, synergistic, efficient, compelling". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will maximize the term "leading-edge". The social-network-based, magnetic project management compliance monitoring factor is fractal. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media, long-term, vertical re-purposing and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing emerging networks? Widgets International is the industry leader of proactive bloatware. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is distributed. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be clicks-and-mortar, synergistic? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We frequently enable plug-and-play iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. We always enhance plug-and-play eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! At Widgets International, we understand how to revolutionize seamlessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Think revolutionary. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? Without TQC, you will lack social networks. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will orchestrate the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be interactive? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think mega-B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the ability to productize perfectly.