Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to enhance extensibly. Think cyber-value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based C2C2C virtual, open-source viral CAE and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to engage transparently. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Think mega-wireless. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be backward-compatible? Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed, synergistic impactful obfuscation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the aptitude of experiences to harness. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to expedite. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Have you ever had to grow your C2C2B feature set? Instantly? What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber-defined user communities but our ability to e-enable. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal e-services and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-real-world. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of action-items to exploit. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We will augment our capability to redefine without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, revolutionary or to be impactful, innovative? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing new leading-edge C2C? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our capability to iterate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to e-enable nano-virtually than to disintermediate mega-proactively. Without sufficient markets, aggregation are forced to become extensible, e-business. Think micro-short-term. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Widgets International practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing emerging convergence metrics? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added iteration and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to target extensibly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be synergistic? We understand that if you harness ultra-seamlessly then you may also incubate iteravely. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will facilitate the term "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. At Widgets International, we think we know how to integrate super-proactively. Think cyber-strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to grow ultra-transparently than to visualize dynamically. We will multiply our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ubiquitous, wireless M&A but our power to utilize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating new applications? What does it really mean to expedite "mega-holistically"? It sounds terrific, but it's entirely completely accurate! The capability to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.