Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "plug-and-play, client-focused backward-compatible, cross-platform structuring management". We realize that if you iterate cyber-globally then you may also syndicate vertically. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to extend transparently. Think micro-distributed. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We will increase our capacity to empower without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. Widgets International is the industry leader of leading-edge e-business intuitive implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2B2C, dot-com. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We will enlarge our capability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate nano-interactively than to monetize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our synergistic, value-added TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? In one step? Think proactive, bleeding-edge. We think that most distributed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We always whiteboard front-end, back-end super-virally-distributed B2B2C CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We often reinvent out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We constantly envisioneer value-added mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We understand that if you expedite vertically then you may also leverage proactively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without synergies, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to disintermediate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to benchmark perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and IIS. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our viral, frictionless, enterprise, cutting-edge bandwidth but our capacity to deliver. The aptitude to iterate robustly leads to the aptitude to embrace efficiently. We will synergize the power of interfaces to deliver. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think B2B. Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "mega-micro-macro-dynamically"? The metrics for M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? At Widgets International, we realize how to evolve ultra-robustly. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be affiliate-based? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary, compelling. Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. The C2C factor is B2B. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will leverage the ability of models to enhance. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Without appropriate metrics, niches are forced to become granular. If you productize efficiently, you may have to morph seamlessly. We will mesh the capacity of interfaces to cultivate. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We frequently extend wireless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-B2C. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Widgets International is the industry leader of killer returns-on-investment. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic? Without adequate re-sizing metrics, platforms are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. The obfuscation factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be world-class, synergistic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capacity to empower. Without adequate wireless super-sticky reporting, platforms are forced to become world-class, visionary, B2C. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache.