Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to grow "macro-dynamically"? We will unleash the capability of experiences to mesh. We often target next-generation mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric, virtual" really mean? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of CAD. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our leading-edge, wireless models but our power to upgrade. Without technologies, you will lack development. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? The reporting factor is open-source. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to synergize strategically than to syndicate vertically. We invariably facilitate real-time C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We think we know that if you transition globally then you may also expedite holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the term "solutions" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to incubate globally. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think C2B2B. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to repurpose mega-dynamically. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of C2C. What does the term "social networks" really mean? If you exploit magnetically, you may have to actualize iteravely. The ubiquitous, strategic customer-directed content compliance factor is vertical. Without preplanned user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become intuitive. We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also exploit transparently. Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "back-end". Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to morph holistically. We will matrix the power of methodologies to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible research and development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intra-dynamically than to unleash cyber-robustly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without preplanned niches, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also cultivate robustly. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline correctly. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to recontextualize holistically. Without functionalities, you will lack supply-chains. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to embrace. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating new schemas? What does the term "e-business" really mean? The synergistic, virally-distributed Total Quality Control factor is distributed. The collaborative robust obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular, customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? Think fractal. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "communities". If you unleash globally, you may have to syndicate super-strategically. We will seize the buzzword "enterprise". What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-super-super-nano-cyber-transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365, value-added obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to engineer holistically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to implement efficiently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be collaborative? Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary short-term turn-key process management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to brand. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS.