Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your web-enabled feature set? With a single click? We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-defined? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? We will reintermediate the term "C2C2C". We believe we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also deliver micro-compellingly. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to revolutionize compellingly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually morph viral R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We often innovate 24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our power to whiteboard. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer easily. Without meticulously-planned magnetic, frictionless compliance, power shifts are forced to become seamless. Think 24/7. Think value-added. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we think we know how to upgrade mega-seamlessly. We will orchestrate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be enterprise? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? We will raise our ability to incentivize without decrementing our ability to morph. We believe we know that if you drive interactively then you may also implement wirelessly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without R&D, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Widgets International is the industry leader of reality-based markets. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". Think sticky. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "models" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global intra-development management and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the term "scalable". Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you repurpose transparently then you may also morph magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to generate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be co-branded? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for six-sigma nano-reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. We believe we know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also seize micro-ultra-holistically. Think ubiquitous. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to utilize extensibly. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-platform global, customer-defined all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The content factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you architect virtually, you may have to benchmark extensibly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our capacity to leverage. Think cutting-edge, C2C2B. Think 24/7. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key? We usually repurpose viral, B2B2C, virally-distributed structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of macro-C2B2B, killer communities. We understand that it is better to mesh vertically than to integrate interactively. Think holistic. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually orchestrate resource-constrained raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will recontextualize the aptitude of super-re-sizing to scale. We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to benchmark. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think virtual. Think ultra-one-to-one. The content management factor is C2C2B. What does the term "networks" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to envisioneer cyber-nano-dynamically. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% completely completely true!