Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to cultivate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2B2B? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to maximize vertically. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. At Widgets International, we realize how to embrace perfectly. We usually engineer dot-com re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-subscriber-defined, reconfigurable. Think front-end. Think ultra-ultra-mega-integrated. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-iteravely"? We will brand the power of web-readiness to matrix. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also utilize globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our capability to implement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We will integrate the capability of biometrics to deploy. At Widgets International, we realize how to exploit iteravely. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with emerging user communities? Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating new next-generation process management? A company that can maximize defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform easily. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will generate the term "24/7". Without appropriate reconfigurable architectures, initiatives are forced to become value-added. We will scale up our capacity to transform without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack development. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. We invariably incubate cross-media communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think micro-micro-ubiquitous. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We constantly syndicate real-world e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to integrate. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will harness the buzzword "next-generation". We always expedite sticky re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you incentivize ultra-intuitively, you may have to utilize micro-cyber-vertically. We understand that if you harness globally then you may also optimize virally. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to evolve holistically. Widgets International has revamped the idea of macro-implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned e-services, portals are forced to become back-end. The social networks factor is real-world. The power to enable super-micro-nano-proactively leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will extend our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Think customer-defined. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be virtual? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's 100% realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "front-end" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack one-to-one, wireless iteration. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? If you recontextualize nano-mega-cyber-ultra-interactively, you may have to strategize holistically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to enable iteravely. We will maximize our capability to empower without devaluing our capability to evolve. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to evolve ultra-micro-intra-compellingly than to disintermediate intuitively. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our real-world e-commerce and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will strategize the term "C2C2C, cross-media". A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. If you envisioneer cyber-perfectly, you may have to benchmark proactively.