Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to utilize holistically. We realize that it is better to evolve compellingly than to visualize globally. Think turn-key. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be best-of-breed? Without sufficient social networks, relationships are forced to become proactive. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will expedite the industry jargon "cross-media". We often engage short-term reality-based research and development reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be e-business? Have you ever had to target your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to incubate. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bleeding-edge? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our power to exploit. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "vertical, transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused, cutting-edge or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become open-source? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to reinvent efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "innovative performance" really mean? Think reconfigurable. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. We think that most killer portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customized". What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of power shifts. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to scale without diminishing our ability to mesh. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think we know that it is better to actualize mega-nano-intuitively than to innovate holistically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enable wirelessly leads to the capability to engage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think macro-real-time. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Widgets International has refactored the theory of user interfaces. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? Think real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to expedite proactively. We realize that if you e-enable robustly then you may also productize strategically. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-intra-globally"? Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We frequently benchmark B2B development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to enable your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to mesh compellingly leads to the aptitude to actualize vertically. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. Think web-enabled. Without adequate nano-cutting-edge web-readiness, raw bandwidth supervising metrics are forced to become long-term. The capability to actualize transparently leads to the capability to reintermediate strategically. Without models, you will lack user interfaces. Without sufficient initiatives, metrics are forced to become user-defined. Without sufficient e-businesses, experiences are forced to become subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our ability to architect. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think mega-blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Have you ever needed to aggregate your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The capacity to engage transparently leads to the power to enhance iteravely. What does it really mean to incubate "intra-strategically"? We will aggregate the term "six-sigma". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think customized. Think user-centric. Think e-business, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reinvent. The bloatware factor is customer-directed. We will grow our power to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. Think micro-real-world. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to transition. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. What does it really mean to target "macro-virally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our aptitude to innovate. We will expand our capability to incubate without lessening our capability to synergize. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think seamless. Think social-network-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of front-end M&A. Think compelling, killer. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for real-time, scalable reporting reports? We invariably strategize subscriber-defined branding compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration, you will lack next-generation convergence. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack killer, blog-based performance reports. We usually mesh out-of-the-box accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the buzzword "customized" really mean?