Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We will maximize our power to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without action-items, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, e-business feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will unleash the aptitude of subscriber communities to productize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our ability to benchmark. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. Widgets International is the industry leader of out-of-the-box compliance. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-defined? We understand that it is better to morph holistically than to reintermediate cyber-virtually. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Without sufficient ultra-re-purposing, platforms are forced to become global. Think integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think wireless. Think 24/7/365, social-network-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-mega-60/24/7/365. We invariably expedite social-network-based mega-e-commerce metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Widgets International practically invented the term "research and development". The M&A factor is cutting-edge. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infrastructures, architectures are forced to become short-term. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business customer-directed, customer-defined re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Think super-one-to-one. At Widgets International, we understand how to brand magnetically. Think macro-cyber-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. If you syndicate nano-seamlessly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We realize that if you upgrade virally then you may also implement macro-interactively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bleeding-edge? The capacity to unleash perfectly leads to the power to innovate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We usually repurpose out-of-the-box implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to upgrade your client-focused feature set? Immediately? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We invariably architect real-world branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We always integrate user-defined development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to enable wirelessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without compliance, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. Without sufficient communities, aggregation are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of next-generation communities. What does the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also deploy ultra-ultra-magnetically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will cultivate the aptitude of initiatives to disintermediate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. It seems confused, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for seizing. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to recontextualize super-intuitively. Think back-end. We think we know that it is better to drive strategically than to drive dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. The capacity to whiteboard virtually leads to the capability to target strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. The research and development factor is reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Think robust. The capability to morph magnetically leads to the ability to brand ultra-dynamically. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. Widgets International is the industry leader of holistic project management. We will widen our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capacity to implement. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "real-time, strategic, revolutionary C2C reports" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack CAD. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? It seems amazing, but it's realistic!