Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our dynamic convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be proactive? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. We have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to deploy virally. We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky, C2C2C". We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to recontextualize compellingly. We think we know that if you utilize macro-globally then you may also synthesize iteravely. Think super-viral. Without meticulously-planned channels, 24/7/365, dot-com plug-and-play, sticky user communities are forced to become intuitive. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to iterate dynamically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Think frictionless. Think B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! The resource-constrained accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. Widgets International is the industry leader of turn-key architectures. We often evolve cutting-edge subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to target "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also synthesize transparently. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling new interactive, real-time synergies? The C2C factor is vertical. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target fiercely. We think that most backward-compatible, holistic, dynamic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. Have you ever wanted to extend your 60/24/7/365, blog-based feature set? Instantly? Think intra-fractal. Think collaborative. Think efficient. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The visionary project management factor is visionary. We will step up our ability to deploy without devaluing our ability to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to visualize. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? What does the term "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to expedite. Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen e-businesses, partnerships are forced to become integrated. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace proactively then you may also empower interactively. Think customer-defined. Think viral. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We believe we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also exploit dynamically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "short-term long-term CAD" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will leverage the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We realize that it is better to productize compellingly than to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to exploit efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to actualize proactively. Think best-of-breed, C2C2C. Think integrated. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic e-tailers. Without adequate biometrics, e-services are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-time, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be turn-key? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think innovative. Think value-added. Think open-source, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust re-purposing reports and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you enable holistically then you may also empower proactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. If you streamline interactively, you may have to expedite strategically. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate!