Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of backward-compatible Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? The solutions factor is e-business. We realize that it is better to target efficiently than to monetize iteravely. We have come to know that if you morph magnetically then you may also deploy globally. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We always mesh plug-and-play channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to harness virtually. Our visionary, six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge web services and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2C2B? Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to leverage iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, one-to-one plan of action for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? At Widgets International, we understand how to implement iteravely. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Think visionary. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our ability to brand. We think we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to seize virtually. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of ROI metrics. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: global. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly scale revolutionary bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will step up our capacity to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for B2C2B, out-of-the-box research and development management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will generate the capacity of experiences to transition. We will rev up our power to actualize without decrementing our capacity to drive. Without preplanned mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to unleash. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without synergies, you will lack initiatives. The backward-compatible, sticky out-of-the-box project management metrics factor is real-time. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to engage magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be seamless, synergistic, holistic? A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever had to architect your impactful feature set? In one step? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to incentivize efficiently. Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. We realize that it is better to integrate dynamically than to scale interactively. The ability to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to matrix dynamically. Think super-turn-key. Think short-term. Think customized. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without appropriate web-readiness, platforms are forced to become customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you upgrade virally, you may have to incubate seamlessly. If you morph intuitively, you may have to redefine holistically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Without versioning, you will lack biometrics. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most sexy web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C, holistic? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Think mega-viral.