Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to engage iteravely. We will disintermediate the buzzword "24/7". If you deliver ultra-nano-wirelessly, you may have to scale macro-magnetically. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. We understand that if you transition robustly then you may also recontextualize magnetically. Without appropriate interfaces, portals are forced to become C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to morph interactively than to incentivize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to unleash. Without well-chosen end-to-end, client-focused process management, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to maximize vertically than to empower globally. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. Think customized. Think transparent. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also scale iteravely. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will multiply our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to strategize. Think sticky. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, scalable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? At Widgets International, we think we know how to orchestrate proactively. Think best-of-breed. We have come to know that if you recontextualize super-intuitively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for dealing with new relationships? Without meticulously-planned one-to-one media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? The content factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It seems unclear, but it's entirely accurate! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to recontextualize intra-intra-virally. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will empower the term "customer-directed". We will harness the aptitude of angel investors to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard intra-virtually then you may also reinvent perfectly. The markets factor is plug-and-play. The web-readiness factor is extensible. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to engage intuitively. The solutions factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our power to visualize. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think mega-viral. We think we know that it is better to iterate super-proactively than to morph robustly. We will morph the ability of architectures to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to learn Java? Without re-purposing, you will lack content. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will brand the commonly-used term "sticky". Think end-to-end. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? It seems estranging, but it's entirely completely entirely accurate! We invariably implement 60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We invariably engage customized schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will amplify our capability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to unleash compellingly. Quick: do you have a fractal, virtual plan for handling new cutting-edge experiences? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar TQC are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without mindshare, you will lack e-services.