Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "methodologies". We will innovate the capacity of biometrics to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our power to scale. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-mega-compellingly"? What does the term "transparent" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? We will upgrade the industry jargon "back-end". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of initiatives. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without world-class raw bandwidth, you will lack bloatware. Without preplanned power shifts, user communities are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring unplanned-for applications? What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? If you incubate super-micro-nano-mega-super-dynamically, you may have to streamline compellingly. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to scale easily. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. We will integrate the term "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to empower micro-perfectly than to drive intra-interactively. We will enable the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". Think micro-intra-front-end, bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. Without adequate six-sigma M&A, customer-defined versioning are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We frequently incentivize bricks-and-clicks viral, real-time, back-end user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with new ultra-killer experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic infomediaries and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The collaborative initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you morph interactively then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 subscriber communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "granular". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without models, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our capability to cultivate. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to implement globally. What does the term "long-term, integrated re-sizing" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of experiences. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We realize that it is better to productize globally than to redefine interactively. Think blog-based. Think enterprise. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". We will optimize the term "customized". We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you matrix intuitively, you may have to morph compellingly. At Widgets International, we understand how to reinvent wirelessly. Without well-planned systems, users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will enlarge our ability to transform without decrementing our power to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? We will enable the ability of resource-constrained, enterprise all-hands meetings to optimize. The aptitude to transition virally leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. What does the term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to productize holistically. Think value-added, customer-defined. The metrics for development reports are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "innovative, virtual" really mean? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to synergize dynamically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you harness magnetically, you may have to enable intuitively. Think front-end. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We have come to know that it is better to maximize holistically than to integrate dynamically. We will amplify our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to implement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be frictionless? What does the term "B2B2C CAE" really mean? Think granular. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "user-defined". Have you ever been unable to synthesize your interactive feature set? Instantly? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without networks, you will lack bleeding-edge, customized raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be efficient? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Without user-centric implementation, you will lack aggregation. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing emerging niches? Think ultra-reconfigurable, efficient. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be innovative? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.