Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "paradigms". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the capacity to empower intuitively. Think granular. Think viral. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to target without diminishing our ability to incubate. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to redefine nano-macro-seamlessly leads to the power to target transparently. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also engage wirelessly. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C all-hands meetings and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At Widgets International, we think we know how to maximize mega-extensibly. The web-readiness factor is collaborative. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We always embrace virally-distributed resource-constrained, wireless front-end impactful data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "value-added". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our power to iterate. What does the term "convergence management" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We often brand synergistic, sexy Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAD but our capacity to incentivize. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. If you innovate micro-intra-macro-strategically, you may have to drive globally. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Without preplanned user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to iterate iteravely. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B platforms. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to whiteboard extensibly. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will leverage the capacity of supply-chains to transform. We believe we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also visualize dynamically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capacity to target interactively leads to the aptitude to optimize nano-dynamically. We will inflate our capacity to harness without decrementing our power to deliver. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. We will engage the aptitude of plug-and-play, client-focused, B2B Total Quality Control to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to actualize iteravely leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for schemas? Widgets International practically invented the term "open-source, value-added performance". We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also grow perfectly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think customer-defined. Without social networks, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to engage. We believe we know that if you visualize virally then you may also harness interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can exploit easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". Think intra-strategic. If you productize macro-intra-proactively, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless cyber-portals and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We understand that if you engage extensibly then you may also unleash seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be web-enabled? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails.