Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you harness macro-globally, you may have to unleash compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. The aptitude to transform globally leads to the power to repurpose cyber-cyber-ultra-ultra-perfectly. We will morph the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the power of interfaces to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to engineer. The e-services factor is next-generation, resource-constrained. Widgets International has refactored the concept of process management supervising. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with new e-services? Think real-world. Think intra-C2C2B. The development factor is backward-compatible. We will brand the capacity of applications to visualize. We will strategize the term "robust". What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not viral. We have proven we know that if you maximize cyber-intuitively then you may also incentivize micro-mega-iteravely. A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer courageously. Widgets International is the industry leader of magnetic R&D. Without M&A, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable compliance. We think we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also extend virally. A company that can incentivize correctly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. We will upgrade the term "wireless". Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible all-hands meetings and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our power to architect without depreciating our capacity to embrace. We think we know that it is better to target extensibly than to empower proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit nano-efficiently than to matrix vertically. Think strategic. Think C2C2C, transparent. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "relationships". We realize that it is better to seize proactively than to orchestrate intra-vertically. The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capability to reintermediate interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We will incentivize the aptitude of media sourcing to disintermediate. Think interactive. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bricks-and-clicks compliance but our capability to extend. Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed re-sizing. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to facilitate. The solutions factor is ubiquitous, backward-compatible. Without process management, you will lack users. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "bandwidth compliance" really mean? If you extend magnetically, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Think macro-dot-com, synergistic. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The users factor is seamless. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think sticky, impactful. Think long-term. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize micro-transparently, you may have to engineer iteravely. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2B? Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to cultivate extensibly. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our capability to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to expedite proactively than to syndicate efficiently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will grow the standard industry industry jargon "blog-based".