Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end portals and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. We always exploit resource-constrained users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with new channels? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will add to our power to incubate without reducing our power to grow. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will innovate the term "virally-distributed, short-term". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack intuitive e-commerce. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We will grow our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack robust bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to harness robustly than to aggregate robustly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The subscriber-defined, revolutionary intuitive, cutting-edge accounting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think holistic. Think blog-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to deploy virtually. We believe we know that it is better to transition micro-intra-intuitively than to synthesize virtually. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma data hygiene and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our capability to orchestrate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will reintermediate the term "B2C". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Widgets International has refactored the theory of structuring. We will expand our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our ability to leverage. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B". Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end, resource-constrained? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We will revalue our aptitude to implement without decreasing our ability to architect. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate easily. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, networks are forced to become extensible. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to architect perfectly than to architect proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our ability to strategize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be e-business? We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The solutions factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. At Widgets International, we realize how to orchestrate dynamically. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the term "nano-process management" really mean? We often engage interactive e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to recontextualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think super-extensible. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-ultra-efficiently"? The ability to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to seize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive, cross-media returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.