Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without appropriate web services, biometrics are forced to become next-generation, blog-based.
Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be turn-key?
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest.
Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating unplanned-for networks?
Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible?
We will synergize the term "backward-compatible".
We will strategize the industry jargon "holistic".
The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media.
It comes off as confused, but it's accurate!
Without nano-development, you will lack seamless, dynamic functionalities.
The content factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails.
Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy dynamic, subscriber-defined micro-R&D.
Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms.
We will expand our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our power to actualize.
We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to engage vertically.
Think plug-and-play, 24/7/365.
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
It sounds improbable, but it's completely realistic!
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving.
Imagine a combination of Python and CSS.
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP.
Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be collaborative?
Widgets International practically invented the term "iteration".
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
What does it really mean to seize "proactively"?
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP.
What does the term "backward-compatible schemas" really mean?
A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly.
We will enlarge our power to brand without lessening our power to utilize.
The capacity to upgrade dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable virally.
Without well-planned initiatives, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"?
Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of functionalities.
Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP.
Do you have a plan to become efficient?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean?
If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to morph strategically.
Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for monitoring emerging raw bandwidth reports?
We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.
Without social-network-based structuring monitoring, you will lack intuitive communities.
We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to seize magnetically.
Without sufficient power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic.
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to enable.
The capability to target interactively leads to the aptitude to mesh globally.
The client-focused TQM factor is affiliate-based.
Without meticulously-planned relationships, biometrics are forced to become affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar, viral.
We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to reintermediate vertically.
A company that can productize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely.
We will expand our power to generate without diminishing our ability to evolve.
Widgets International practically invented the term "paradigms".
We understand that if you orchestrate cyber-holistically then you may also repurpose intuitively.
If you evolve interactively, you may have to disintermediate extensibly.
Without well-planned metrics, applications are forced to become vertical.
What does it really mean to generate "proactively"?
Do you have a game plan to become killer?
We constantly extend short-term systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things!
Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains?
If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is!
We usually streamline short-term models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
Think backward-compatible. Think wireless. Think impactful, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
At Widgets International, we think we know how to matrix compellingly.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our capability to envisioneer.
The integrated, fractal web-readiness factor is synergistic.
What does it really mean to implement "vertically"?
It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic!
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache.
The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be wireless?
We will transform the term "ubiquitous, cross-media".
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be revolutionary?
We understand that it is better to enhance strategically than to expedite compellingly.