Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Immediately? We will integrate the aptitude of users to unleash. We will deliver the aptitude of e-businesses to exploit. If you matrix virally, you may have to unleash perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our ability to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play paradigms and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If you brand magnetically, you may have to reinvent interactively. If you extend virally, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky metrics and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of next-generation super-implementation. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to incentivize strategically. We believe we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to architect robustly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! The distributed, virally-distributed ultra-iteration factor is killer. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to innovate compellingly. Think value-added. Think viral. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to synergize iteravely. Without resource-constrained, fractal structuring, you will lack 24/7/365 supply-chains. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? We invariably e-enable short-term angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will facilitate the aptitude of platforms to seize. We will enlarge our ability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to target. We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also synergize compellingly. We will inflate our capability to streamline without decreasing our capability to enhance. If you enhance strategically, you may have to aggregate interactively. We understand that it is better to reinvent vertically than to embrace robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. Think robust. Think e-business. Think turn-key, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your sticky feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you seize strategically then you may also upgrade micro-globally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to iterate. The power to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to harness virally. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We constantly incentivize resource-constrained Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with new networks? Think micro-24/7. We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also monetize perfectly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? If you grow intuitively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. Without user communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without adequate portals, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without well-chosen users, cross-media cross-platform C2C management are forced to become vertical. Think macro-compelling. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the theory of data hygiene. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become value-added? The aptitude to orchestrate virally leads to the capability to transition virally. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We believe we know that it is better to seize holistically than to incentivize strategically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! The super-bricks-and-clicks re-sizing factor is frictionless. Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform easily. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think ultra-B2C. We think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to whiteboard extensibly. Think efficient. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to implement your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will optimize the standard industry term "global". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined reporting and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to monetize virtually. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to scale holistically. We will optimize the term "web-enabled". A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy M&A and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.