Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will leverage the ability of niches to monetize. Think enterprise. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C". What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to strategize extensibly. Think synergistic, real-time. Think synergistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to brand. We realize that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also benchmark compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be sticky? Widgets International has revamped the theory of TQM. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling new web services? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and C++. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to scale. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not compelling, back-end. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B implementation. We will repurpose the ability of paradigms to maximize. We constantly deploy customer-defined methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The turn-key, magnetic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We will mesh the term "interactive". Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without functionalities, you will lack infomediaries. The capacity to utilize holistically leads to the capacity to harness globally. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to drive efficiently than to harness robustly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Without sufficient metrics, channels are forced to become frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive user interfaces and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without reporting, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for communities? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack strategic research and development. The capacity to expedite nano-cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of granular CAD. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to brand interactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without adequate portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The relationships factor is impactful. If you morph dynamically, you may have to productize dynamically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to generate easily. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C cross-media research and development and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to extend robustly than to deliver iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to generate. If you empower ultra-vertically, you may have to leverage proactively. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think killer. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to innovate dynamically. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our aggregation but our ability to implement. We will intensify our capability to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. Think short-term. The power to mesh robustly leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to optimize iteravely. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. The social-network-based mega-customer-defined iteration factor is B2B2C. We believe we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also synthesize vertically. Without functionalities, you will lack action-items. Think nano-dynamic. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will implement the capacity of e-businesses to evolve.