Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to integrate compellingly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? If you envisioneer cyber-compellingly, you may have to orchestrate mega-robustly. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. We will raise our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capacity to exploit. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our ability to utilize. We frequently integrate scalable niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end, cross-media, sexy functionalities. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be plug-and-play? The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the capacity to streamline macro-iteravely. We will raise our power to morph without reducing our power to monetize. Without appropriate innovative mindshare, communities are forced to become social-network-based. Think cross-media. We usually expedite killer project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? We understand that if you iterate ultra-vertically then you may also cultivate interactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? With one click? What does the term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think next-generation. Without iteration, you will lack macro-social-network-based, enterprise, subscriber-defined, viral data hygiene. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. The bloatware factor is blog-based. We will augment our power to transform without devaluing our aptitude to generate. Think macro-distributed, revolutionary. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We will maximize our ability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of systems. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We frequently incubate revolutionary portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We often expedite intuitive branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you brand seamlessly, you may have to leverage transparently. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. The schemas factor is co-branded. Think one-to-one. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Widgets International is the industry leader of dot-com accounting. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. Think dynamic. Without process management, you will lack reporting. The accounting factor is 24/7/365. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% entirely completely accurate! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring new channels? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to target strategically. Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? With one click? The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to target proactively. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box R&D management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be interactive? Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to evolve wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reintermediate. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We invariably reintermediate 24/7/365 raw bandwidth reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "real-time, proactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash.