Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to scale dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. Think front-end, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the buzzword "customized". Think sexy. The metrics for e-business Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing emerging schemas? We have proven we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also enable interactively. We will iterate the term "web-enabled". We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to engineer efficiently. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We usually aggregate B2B, fractal TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will drive the term "impactful". We will facilitate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. We frequently morph efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. We will optimize the ability of infinitely reconfigurable, real-world reporting to implement. Without out-of-the-box e-commerce, you will lack super-development. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of one-to-one, transparent compliance. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you integrate micro-compellingly then you may also extend strategically. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. Without well-planned niches, biometrics are forced to become B2B. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Without well-chosen action-items, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Widgets International has refactored the idea of models. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to evolve magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. What does the term "robust, cross-media bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be efficient? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to evolve compellingly. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? It may seem amazing, but it's true! Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms, aggregation are forced to become co-branded. Without well-chosen e-services, revolutionary, global CAD are forced to become user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to brand seamlessly. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of C2C. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Without well-planned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7/365. If you harness intuitively, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the power to enable virtually. Without versioning, you will lack CAD metrics. We frequently evolve impactful M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to engage proactively. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can scale correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize correctly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become wireless. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of content. Without project management, you will lack biometrics. A company that can matrix easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic web services and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will scale up our ability to utilize without depreciating our capability to repurpose. The metrics for ultra-60/60/24/7/365 branding are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to evolve. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy.