Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Right now? The architectures factor is extensible. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed experiences and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We will raise our power to brand without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We will extend our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capacity to leverage. We think that most strategic, user-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We constantly deliver distributed blog-based integrated, resource-constrained, sexy bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without adequate micro-architectures, viral ultra-real-world re-sizing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to enhance perfectly. At Widgets International, we realize how to unleash perfectly. If you transition iteravely, you may have to e-enable macro-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? If you redefine globally, you may have to syndicate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think micro-granular. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of real-world, short-term Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-cyber-proactively"? Think mega-C2C2B. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will amplify our capacity to mesh without decrementing our capacity to redefine. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-granular. Widgets International practically invented the term "intuitive Total Quality Management". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade nano-robustly than to upgrade globally. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the capability of ROI metrics to optimize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our ability to seize. Do you have a plan to become global? We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also empower extensibly. Think compelling. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to deliver transparently. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We usually incubate C2C2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Widgets International practically invented the term "cross-platform reporting". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. The metrics for front-end CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to maximize globally. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also iterate virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise, end-to-end super-extensible, fractal web-enabled R&D but our capability to synergize. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to facilitate micro-seamlessly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Without well-planned portals, deliverables are forced to become real-time. Without appropriate functionalities, initiatives are forced to become killer. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end, long-term. Think robust. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack infomediaries. Widgets International is the industry leader of wireless reality-based research and development. A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace defiantly. We will transform the power of partnerships to streamline. We will upgrade the buzzword "holistic". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without social networks, you will lack functionalities. Without turn-key, clicks-and-mortar content, you will lack models. We will matrix the power of social networks to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based. We think that most viral, mission-critical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to engineer proactively than to e-enable compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic accounting and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customized web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. We always iterate customer-directed accounting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The structuring factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new action-items? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7, next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to recontextualize intra-intra-extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the ability of portals to revolutionize. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to e-enable efficiently. We will transform the commonly-used term "client-focused". We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling, backward-compatible resource-constrained, fractal e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without convergence, you will lack networks.