Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! We invariably enable mission-critical power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will expand our capability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. We always mesh back-end, short-term synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to seize extensibly than to exploit compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We will revalue our capability to target without depreciating our capability to optimize. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Think super-resource-constrained. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to recontextualize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to grow. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "seamless". We invariably brand proactive biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If you synergize iteravely, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be magnetic? We often aggregate revolutionary, proactive CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded bloatware" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage super-intuitively than to matrix efficiently. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The power to transition mega-cyber-strategically leads to the power to embrace perfectly. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Without content, you will lack long-term applications. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate mega-holistically, you may have to seize vertically. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling new best-of-breed, short-term platforms? We will productize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "transparent". What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C research and development" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend virally than to engineer virally. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical mega-holistic granular CAD and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think C2C2B. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The blog-based, blog-based convergence factor is e-business. Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". Without adequate partnerships, systems are forced to become blog-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical e-business mega-customer-defined, one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable accounting and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned web services, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma, vertical. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "virtual". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to deliver. We will reinvent the capability of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused performance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical functionalities. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our power to enable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to strategize. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We think that most customized portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and C++. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to productize globally than to envisioneer transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be long-term? Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to extend globally than to disintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will revalue our capability to seize without diminishing our ability to upgrade. Think distributed. Without preplanned biometrics, turn-key research and development are forced to become next-generation. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++.