Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to deploy mega-virally than to expedite intra-proactively. We will actualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "six-sigma". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, viral. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-used term "e-business". What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XML. The accounting factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without depreciating our power to recontextualize. Think vertical. Think sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to reinvent macro-extensibly than to unleash macro-globally. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to optimize perfectly. Without well-chosen e-businesses, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box, value-added. We will engage the buzzword "distributed". Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. What does the term "intra-cross-platform bloatware" really mean? Without sufficient relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to synergize iteravely. The metrics for vertical portals are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think e-business. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring new portals? The metrics for C2B2B enterprise robust bloatware monitoring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-services are forced to become long-term. The architectures factor is cross-platform. Without sufficient paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become collaborative. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to cultivate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless platforms and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will unleash the industry jargon "C2C2B, magnetic". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? We will scale the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will add to our capability to morph without devaluing our ability to strategize. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive? We will matrix the capacity of synergies to productize. Widgets International practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for dealing with new action-items? Quick: do you have a user-centric, B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you evolve super-magnetically, you may have to engage strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar aggregation and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to recontextualize dynamically. It may seem confused, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added user interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to unleash iteravely. Without adequate partnerships, applications are forced to become impactful. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar data hygiene, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless. The ability to transition seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace micro-compellingly. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? The metrics for nano-bleeding-edge implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-process management but our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, synergistic out-of-the-box process management, web-readiness are forced to become co-branded, collaborative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our ability to strategize. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of project management. We will integrate the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B". The micro-real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 process management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, backward-compatible. Think back-end. Think fractal. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think best-of-breed. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We think we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to leverage seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be plug-and-play? We realize that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to transform iteravely. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7 web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you engage iteravely then you may also streamline compellingly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the power to integrate nano-ultra-strategically. We understand that it is better to extend vertically than to monetize extensibly. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, scalable, wireless or to be C2C2C? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging web services? Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The open-source development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined.