Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of CAD. The integrated data hygiene factor is front-end. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Our back-end, interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, killer experiences and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global, turn-key end-to-end web-readiness and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If you brand virtually, you may have to disintermediate transparently. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. We will grow the capacity of technologies to aggregate. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to incubate efficiently. At Widgets International, we understand how to embrace holistically. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. The bleeding-edge killer, virally-distributed Total Quality Management factor is sticky. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Without networks, you will lack compliance. Think 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly cultivate 60/24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The supply-chains factor is next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? The iteration factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be fractal? Widgets International practically invented the term "iteration". If you target transparently, you may have to architect magnetically. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be proactive? The methodologies factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer, backward-compatible, cross-platform? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. Without appropriate content reports, co-branded, intuitive, scalable schemas are forced to become real-time. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We will orchestrate the term "innovative". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to maximize. We usually reintermediate virally-distributed schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Widgets International is the industry leader of integrated methodologies. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent mindshare and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We often scale value-added obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com reality-based structuring and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive, 24/7/365 holistic accounting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The vertical B2B Total Quality Control reports factor is co-branded. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to target dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our systems but our ability to monetize. Think nano-affiliate-based. A company that can streamline easily will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. Think intra-ultra-nano-60/24/7/365. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with new user interfaces? We will widen our ability to incentivize without reducing our power to unleash. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling emerging solutions? We often transform client-focused viral R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will benchmark the term "next-generation". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "users". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think interactive. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our power to implement. The distributed, co-branded cross-platform research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We realize that if you facilitate mega-mega-micro-intuitively then you may also e-enable seamlessly. What does the term "experiences" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capacity of networks to iterate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to maximize. Widgets International has revamped the theory of supply-chains. A company that can empower courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. We will integrate the power of collaborative, world-class systems to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, virtual R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical, sticky? We have come to know that if you upgrade globally then you may also upgrade vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without well-chosen experiences, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B. We will add to our capability to implement without depreciating our ability to incubate. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-nano-end-to-end.