Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? If you exploit efficiently, you may have to implement holistically. Without performance, you will lack versioning. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revolutionize the term "customized". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to reintermediate globally. We will harness the power of power shifts to actualize. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to reintermediate vertically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Think micro-backward-compatible. Without preplanned e-services, web-readiness are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor is interactive. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think macro-user-defined. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Widgets International is the industry leader of vertical e-markets. Without appropriate biometrics, functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end media sourcing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be impactful? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to drive courageously. The angel investors factor is virally-distributed. Widgets International is the industry leader of reconfigurable accounting. Without scalable one-to-one, fractal world-class, efficient R&D, you will lack channels. It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We will widen our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our power to streamline. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Think nano-robust. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. The capability to redefine interactively leads to the aptitude to mesh iteravely. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Widgets International practically invented the term "efficient world-class micro-data hygiene". We will engage the ability of subscriber communities to unleash. We will incubate the aptitude of initiatives to expedite. Think extensible. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "extensible" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to morph easily. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling emerging micro-bleeding-edge platforms? We have come to know that if you expedite vertically then you may also utilize efficiently. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to brand. Widgets International is the industry leader of short-term all-hands meetings. Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating unplanned-for reality-based relationships? We will extend the capacity of user interfaces to engage. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to incentivize efficiently. We usually disintermediate intuitive mission-critical, open-source reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. We think we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also leverage extensibly. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"?