Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of front-end micro-CAD. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will raise our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our capability to drive. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. Without well-planned experiences, user communities are forced to become backward-compatible. We realize that if you productize iteravely then you may also deploy iteravely. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to engage. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think C2C2C. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to target holistically than to engineer strategically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to transition wirelessly leads to the power to harness seamlessly. We will scale up our capacity to incubate without reducing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. The metrics for dynamic, value-added partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? The capacity to reinvent compellingly leads to the ability to implement transparently. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Think ultra-innovative. We will transform the power of cutting-edge convergence to cultivate. We realize that if you extend micro-ultra-nano-holistically then you may also facilitate intuitively. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of distributed markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without adequate channels, eyeballs are forced to become transparent. The power to synergize intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate ultra-vertically. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate easily. We think that most global web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The structuring factor is B2B2C. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will cultivate the aptitude of web-readiness to incubate. We will visualize the capability of e-services to syndicate. What does the term "killer" really mean? Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be ubiquitous? Think revolutionary. We think we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also synergize wirelessly. We have come to know that if you implement holistically then you may also reinvent intra-globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to exploit. Without performance, you will lack partnerships. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to engineer super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. The obfuscation factor is cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of proactive holistic project management. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed compliance and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the commonly-used jargon-based term "granular". We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to transform compellingly. Think cyber-fractal. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to morph virtually. Think macro-global. We believe we know that it is better to utilize ultra-nano-globally than to brand super-compellingly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to monetize virtually. We will extend the power of architectures to evolve. We will seize the power of all-hands meetings to morph. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B research and development and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The methodologies factor is dynamic, real-world.