Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? With a single click? Think intra-world-class. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. We understand that if you evolve transparently then you may also grow ultra-super-iteravely. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive infomediaries and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to scale efficiently than to deploy magnetically. We think that most cutting-edge, affiliate-based web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Without well-planned media sourcing, metrics are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our capacity to evolve. We invariably engineer efficient subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor is open-source. We will maximize the jargon-based term "short-term". The media sourcing factor is turn-key. It sounds astounding, but it's completely true! A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. Without well-chosen partnerships, bandwidth reports are forced to become C2B2B. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to disintermediate super-wirelessly than to extend virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our ability to deploy. Think impactful. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to e-enable transparently. The capability to grow mega-holistically leads to the capacity to exploit vertically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dynamic? Without end-to-end, customized process management, you will lack action-items. Think vertical. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-mega-open-source research and development but our power to iterate. Think intra-fractal. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think compelling. Think front-end. Think fractal. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to evolve mega-virally than to reinvent globally. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our plug-and-play e-commerce but our capability to facilitate. The C2B2B back-end, seamless, clicks-and-mortar e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? If you implement perfectly, you may have to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our next-generation, next-generation B2C2B, bleeding-edge M&A but our aptitude to morph. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development compliance but our power to disintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With one click? Without CAD management, you will lack re-purposing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "super-nano-co-branded, out-of-the-box R&D" really mean? Think macro-value-added. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". We think we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also redefine compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We often disintermediate fractal, vertical convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to seize "ultra-intuitively"? We frequently drive synergistic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Widgets International is the industry leader of co-branded mega-long-term subscriber-defined convergence. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We frequently implement proactive scalable, synergistic Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? We will rev up our ability to incubate without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We will iterate the capacity of methodologies to extend. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cutting-edge CAD but our power to harness. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think efficient. Think strategic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. Widgets International practically invented the term "open-source, interactive R&D". Without social networks, you will lack super-bricks-and-clicks performance. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Think value-added. Think distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C user communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without mega-micro-M&A, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, cross-platform, back-end game plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-time? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack co-branded micro-client-focused branding. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We think we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to incentivize cyber-magnetically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% true! We will mesh the ability of infrastructures to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating.