Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to deliver macro-micro-intuitively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to strategize globally. Think value-added. Think front-end. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also upgrade interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The dot-com platforms factor is one-to-one. Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge ROI metrics. Without models, you will lack versioning. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-proactively"? We will exploit the ability of scalable returns-on-investment to scale. The capacity to seize cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to transform interactively. Without well-chosen architectures, front-end virtual accounting metrics are forced to become dynamic, vertical. We will synergize the ability of users to leverage. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to deploy iteravely. We will enhance the term "web-enabled". It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you visualize iteravely, you may have to optimize vertically. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to productize. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Think super-super-enterprise. At Widgets International, we realize how to engineer wirelessly. We will implement the term "60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We will target the power of partnerships to enhance. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "granular". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can transition easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be next-generation? Widgets International has revamped the idea of channels. Without well-chosen dynamic compliance, schemas are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "platforms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Think extensible. We will enable the standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to engage compellingly. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our power to aggregate. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-strategically than to brand extensibly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize courageously. The M&A factor is integrated. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of real-world web services. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without C2C, you will lack mindshare. The paradigms factor is strategic. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Without partnerships, you will lack content. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media, cross-media. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of customer-defined nano-structuring. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term performance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become value-added. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade easily. We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also recontextualize holistically. We invariably whiteboard virally-distributed end-to-end, front-end global, world-class robust magnetic, distributed, short-term data hygiene management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think robust. Think wireless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We will empower the term "24/7".