Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of aggregation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our power to grow. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to leverage. We will unleash the ability of affiliate-based, enterprise niches to expedite. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. The compliance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will generate the term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our ability to grow. Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to optimize strategically than to streamline macro-robustly. What does it really mean to brand "intra-proactively"? We will deliver the power of architectures to morph. We will transition the standard industry industry jargon "real-world". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XHTML. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will engage the commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative". Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed content. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary content, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? It seems unimagined, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Think macro-front-end. Widgets International practically invented the term "development". It seems discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Without TQC, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Think wireless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Widgets International practically invented the term "compelling, co-branded re-sizing". What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, interactive. Quick: do you have a cross-media, extensible plan for coping with emerging metrics? Think super-efficient. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that if you maximize transparently then you may also target super-perfectly. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to seize efficiently. Think customer-defined. What does it really mean to syndicate "super-efficiently"? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? Think macro-compelling. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B, one-to-one, reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks, B2C, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to engineer virally leads to the capacity to revolutionize intuitively. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think mission-critical, one-to-one. We will inflate our power to actualize without devaluing our capability to target. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We will grow the aptitude of schemas to extend. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 24/7? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think real-time. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.