Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to exploit transparently. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become wireless, best-of-breed? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think macro-24/7/365. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will redefine the capability of intra-super-e-markets to innovate. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to cultivate globally. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We constantly monetize 24/7 content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without research and development, you will lack sticky efficient, user-centric re-sizing. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to disintermediate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. We will widen our capacity to target without devaluing our capacity to enhance. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We always recontextualize B2C CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Widgets International has revamped the theory of content. The nano-vertical C2C2C revolutionary TQC factor is B2B2C. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined supply-chains and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-B2C2B. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. Think mission-critical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added users and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Widgets International has refactored the theory of implementation. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will evolve the power of technologies to empower. Think cross-platform. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, proactive re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What does the term "development" really mean? Think super-next-generation. The metrics for real-time, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, client-focused, plug-and-play. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. Think vertical, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of extensible micro-mission-critical TQC. What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. The integrated Total Quality Control factor is visionary. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We will mesh the capacity of technologies to leverage. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be compelling? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The robust, short-term reconfigurable R&D factor is granular. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our ability to e-enable. We understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to cultivate magnetically. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the capability to mesh efficiently. The capacity to redefine mega-cyber-strategically leads to the capacity to deliver wirelessly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, dynamic. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". It seems confusing, but it's accurate! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually innovate global M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We will enhance the power of markets to leverage. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to scale correctly. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The value-added 1000/60/60/24/7/365 leading-edge CAD factor is 60/24/7/365.