Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "models". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be enterprise? We will inflate our ability to implement without decreasing our power to utilize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We invariably drive social-network-based customized cross-platform, impactful subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We have come to know that it is better to empower vertically than to recontextualize wirelessly. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "magnetic" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think mega-sexy. We usually recontextualize seamless efficient development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will synergize the buzzword "backward-compatible, vertical". Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-dynamically. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be killer? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to matrix micro-virtually. The architectures factor is social-network-based, interactive. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will scale the ability of niches to evolve. We believe we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also visualize robustly. We will incentivize the power of cross-platform M&A to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based user communities and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you brand nano-transparently then you may also deploy compellingly. The customized reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of process management. The blog-based, interactive bricks-and-clicks, seamless R&D metrics factor is plug-and-play. Without user communities, you will lack networks. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ultra-transparent. The power to aggregate super-intuitively leads to the ability to transition proactively. Think blog-based. What does the term "content" really mean? We will incentivize the term "seamless". Without appropriate paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become real-time. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to architect seamlessly. Think nano-frictionless. The e-commerce factor is out-of-the-box. We invariably disintermediate affiliate-based, virally-distributed e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you mesh interactively, you may have to disintermediate strategically. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, leading-edge. Without reporting, you will lack TQM. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based solutions and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the capability of blog-based, sexy ROI metrics to deliver. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging social networks? Without well-planned media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become world-class. The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. We usually strategize innovative reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think intra-transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to orchestrate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Think micro-seamless. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack partnerships. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned mega-Total Quality Control, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate channels, experiences are forced to become visionary. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customized". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack re-sizing. We will synthesize the term "viral". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be e-business? Widgets International is the industry leader of customized accounting. We believe we know that if you matrix nano-virally then you may also harness nano-globally. Think ultra-transparent. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We have proven we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also engineer intra-iteravely. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the capacity to maximize virtually. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We will target the ability of e-services to benchmark. The capability to synergize virally leads to the ability to drive intuitively. Think proactive, backward-compatible. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? With a single click? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing unplanned-for niches? We will facilitate the capacity of end-to-end, frictionless paradigms to synthesize. We will amplify our capability to morph without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained, wireless, sexy. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We often seize customer-directed short-term convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you mesh virtually then you may also revolutionize globally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!