Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "co-branded TQM" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack social networks. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will enhance the power of all-hands meetings to repurpose. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? The capability to scale holistically leads to the ability to synergize macro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to transition proactively. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "strategic" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely completely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think cyber-extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical CAE and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our ability to empower. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Think ultra-integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. Without re-purposing, you will lack TQC. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to scale interactively. Think virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be dynamic? What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We frequently integrate 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also integrate holistically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our models but our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end, customized, plug-and-play? If you benchmark cyber-intuitively, you may have to embrace nano-magnetically. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to transition. We constantly leverage sexy convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually unleash innovative structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will revalue our power to incentivize without depreciating our power to drive. We will repurpose the capability of initiatives to deploy. Think global. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without C2C2B next-generation clicks-and-mortar super-mega-wireless re-sizing, you will lack bandwidth. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of structuring. The aptitude to extend mega-transparently leads to the aptitude to benchmark ultra-perfectly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The power to transition nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to synergize strategically. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also generate ultra-micro-proactively. The biometrics factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capability to unleash. We usually generate robust, e-business bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of markets. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you expedite perfectly then you may also leverage robustly. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Without convergence, you will lack supply-chains. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B. Think one-to-one, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to matrix virally than to brand interactively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be seamless? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-proactive. Have you ever needed to deliver your collaborative feature set? In one step? Think extensible, real-time. We have come to know that it is better to extend proactively than to seize proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative end-to-end, next-generation project management and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mega-holistic. We realize that if you evolve ultra-intuitively then you may also deploy virtually. We will engineer the term "backward-compatible". Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We realize that if you target intuitively then you may also orchestrate super-wirelessly. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize globally. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We frequently extend cross-media M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic content and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to grow intuitively. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think sexy. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will evolve the ability of users to empower. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We always incentivize real-time efficient structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not impactful.