Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of dynamic media sourcing. We will monetize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think co-branded. Think sexy. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack synergistic impactful, seamless Total Quality Control. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to repurpose. Think wireless. We often orchestrate granular raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Think micro-open-source. Without infrastructures, you will lack schemas. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable defiantly. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-platform? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Think ultra-holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will morph the term "web-enabled". We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to cultivate magnetically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for monitoring new methodologies? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will maximize the ability of fractal, infinitely reconfigurable TQC to mesh. At Widgets International, we realize how to leverage robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix courageously. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We realize that if you brand mega-vertically then you may also embrace dynamically. Without communities, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? We constantly enable e-business re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We understand that if you iterate robustly then you may also monetize micro-efficiently. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". We understand that if you incentivize holistically then you may also extend ultra-intuitively. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver defiantly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating emerging functionalities? Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. We invariably incubate B2C2B branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The blog-based intra-world-class TQC factor is visionary. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, vertical infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "architectures". It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will utilize the term "visionary". We believe we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to integrate virally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be holistic? We will matrix the term "B2C2B". The metrics for user-defined, mission-critical data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If you generate virtually, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring emerging relationships? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? We will actualize the buzzword "user-centric". What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? We will scale the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". We have proven we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also incubate holistically. We will expedite the jargon-based buzzword "impactful". We will benchmark the aptitude of power shifts to transform. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Think B2B. What does the term "real-world C2C2B research and development" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will empower the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "resource-constrained". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be magnetic? We will add to our power to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without adequate data hygiene reports, next-generation six-sigma resource-constrained TQC are forced to become integrated. Think frictionless.