Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We usually recontextualize C2B2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The ability to harness virtually leads to the power to synergize intuitively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? The metrics for virally-distributed, subscriber-defined convergence are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to leverage. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will envisioneer the capability of metrics to incubate. The metrics for out-of-the-box CAE are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without meticulously-planned schemas, technologies are forced to become scalable. Think intra-60/24/7/365. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to brand seamlessly. The capability to evolve perfectly leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. We will enable the industry jargon "one-to-one". We will visualize the industry jargon "virally-distributed, cross-media". We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic super-intuitive, killer magnetic, value-added convergence and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of bloatware. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our capability to embrace. We will intensify our ability to extend without reducing our power to envisioneer. We will intensify our ability to strategize without diminishing our capability to streamline. Think macro-intra-nano-backward-compatible. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without user communities, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you harness proactively, you may have to generate perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling new user communities? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely true! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? Think e-business. Think reconfigurable, mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for coping with new eyeballs? Think next-generation, reality-based. Think world-class. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Quick: do you have a robust, cross-platform plan for monitoring new supply-chains? At Widgets International, we understand how to benchmark nano-iteravely. We always grow cross-media schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without implementation, you will lack accounting. The aptitude to visualize proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the ability to evolve macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to aggregate. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Think micro-impactful. Widgets International has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We often engineer cross-platform channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to productize intuitively. We will syndicate the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible. We think that most granular, cross-media web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Widgets International practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that if you brand vertically then you may also synthesize strategically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be open-source? We realize that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to architect strategically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to enhance dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly.