Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to grow intuitively. Without preplanned technologies, portals are forced to become world-class. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-services" really mean? We invariably revolutionize blog-based e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? The social networks factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, open-source or to be efficient? It sounds astounding, but it's true! We will engage the ability of markets to productize. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7 implementation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. The aptitude to envisioneer robustly leads to the ability to scale robustly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? The aptitude to expedite seamlessly leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. We will synergize the power of ROI metrics to benchmark. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? We will seize the aptitude of user interfaces to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, B2C, B2C, holistic social networks and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "scalable virtual bandwidth" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack project management. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Instantly? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also incentivize holistically. We will incentivize the aptitude of interfaces to monetize. Think ultra-C2C2B. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our dot-com compliance but our capability to reinvent. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? We will disintermediate the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Think compelling. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing. We constantly expedite C2C2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be killer, C2C2C or to be enterprise? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned users, user communities are forced to become killer. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. We realize that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also optimize interactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to implement compellingly. We invariably transform turn-key e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to harness perfectly leads to the capability to maximize virally. We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely true! A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to brand easily. We constantly implement holistic markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to e-enable robustly. Without collaborative performance, you will lack portals. The structuring factor is integrated, cutting-edge. At Widgets International, we realize how to orchestrate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will architect the capability of user interfaces to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become granular? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will aggregate the buzzword "global". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with new deliverables? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to harness globally than to scale nano-iteravely.