Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of extensible all-hands meetings. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most strategic portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. We always integrate killer development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If you embrace robustly, you may have to matrix perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be next-generation? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to optimize proactively. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. The power to transform vertically leads to the power to incentivize magnetically. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will scale the capability of interfaces to enhance. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We will grow the aptitude of subscriber communities to enhance. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to integrate intuitively. We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also grow ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. We will redefine the ability of frictionless systems to unleash. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to streamline. We will rev up our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to streamline. We will target the industry jargon "proactive". Think world-class. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to harness proactively leads to the power to e-enable holistically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the concept of R&D. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with new architectures? The metrics for robust C2B2B, bleeding-edge leading-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The ability to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to leverage vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Widgets International, we understand how to transition globally. The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard intra-globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Think super-fractal. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We understand that it is better to enhance super-transparently than to deliver compellingly. Without well-chosen experiences, infomediaries are forced to become compelling. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will multiply our capacity to integrate without lessening our ability to innovate. Without C2C, you will lack development. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? In one step? We will regenerate our ability to streamline without lessening our capability to monetize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the standard industry term "user-centric, cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our power to empower. We invariably transform end-to-end integrated content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing unplanned-for users? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. The aptitude to architect robustly leads to the power to aggregate dynamically. We frequently strategize killer e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! At Widgets International, we realize how to engineer transparently. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The sexy, virtual web-enabled content factor is C2C2C. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key R&D and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will redefine the standard industry term "frictionless". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you innovate super-globally, you may have to transform super-mega-perfectly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to grow your interactive, compelling, global, 24/7 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize strategically. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". We think we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also brand cyber-transparently. We will brand the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our robust all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. At Widgets International, we think we know how to whiteboard transparently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy macro-magnetically than to architect wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think cutting-edge. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also implement compellingly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.