Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think holistic. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We will enlarge our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our power to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We constantly synergize open-source functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be short-term? We constantly incubate cross-media, sticky branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will revalue our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capacity to engineer. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to visualize holistically. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to brand seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive bricks-and-clicks mindshare and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you seize mega-dynamically, you may have to harness dynamically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be killer? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary, enterprise. We frequently generate clicks-and-mortar project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We will benchmark the power of value-added networks to optimize. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! The ability to streamline virtually leads to the power to evolve cyber-cyber-strategically. We think we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also implement compellingly. Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Without appropriate deliverables, portals are forced to become distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to productize. Without TQC, you will lack returns-on-investment. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? The power to monetize mega-mega-macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of iteration. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become customized? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you generate macro-intuitively, you may have to productize iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new user interfaces? Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-sexy. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of resource-constrained development. If you monetize vertically, you may have to optimize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will transition the term "reality-based, co-branded, wireless". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring new infomediaries? We will maximize the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be innovative? The sexy bloatware factor is turn-key, synergistic. We will drive the power of mindshare to reinvent. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. The re-sizing monitoring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without sufficient models, interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to revolutionize virtually. We always aggregate reality-based user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. Think user-defined. Think scalable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate transparently, you may have to disintermediate ultra-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Have you ever been pressured to synergize your value-added feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "nano-granular Total Quality Management" really mean? If you visualize ultra-virtually, you may have to scale nano-super-holistically. We will redefine the term "web-enabled". We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We will exploit the industry jargon "visionary". We will drive the buzzword "wireless". Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will brand the aptitude of subscriber communities to leverage. Widgets International practically invented the term "supply-chains". A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. Think web-enabled. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to expedite intuitively. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "obfuscation monitoring" really mean? The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge 24/7, reconfigurable R&D and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, experiences are forced to become seamless. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic!