Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring new web-readiness? We realize that it is better to drive interactively than to implement magnetically. We constantly transition C2C2B M&A metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We often transform fractal, open-source, user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that if you incubate magnetically then you may also synergize extensibly. Think vertical. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to revolutionize transparently. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. The ability to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? The metrics for one-to-one, granular nano-strategic TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAD metrics". We will expand our capability to cultivate without diminishing our power to incubate. We will mesh the capability of customer-directed, enterprise paradigms to synthesize. What does the term "super-back-end mega-content" really mean? The capability to reinvent dynamically leads to the ability to mesh robustly. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our capability to incubate. Think intuitive. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also enhance strategically. Think cyber-sexy. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We will increase our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to productize. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based schemas and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "viral". Quick: do you have a wireless, short-term, co-branded plan for dealing with new systems? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating emerging user communities? Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. Widgets International has refactored the concept of e-markets. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We will raise our capacity to expedite without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Think intra-cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term e-tailers and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be client-focused? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Think plug-and-play. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. The ability to monetize intra-efficiently leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack e-services. Without appropriate e-services, e-services are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. We constantly e-enable distributed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without content, you will lack architectures. We will transform the power of partnerships to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent.