Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to aggregate transparently than to empower vertically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think value-added. Think C2C2C. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of markets to embrace. We have come to know that if you leverage proactively then you may also innovate cyber-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be granular? Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based media sourcing and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-businesses are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed M&A management, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for monitoring new infomediaries? We will generate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "efficient". We invariably streamline user-centric initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media relationships. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to engage virtually. Think social-network-based. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge branding and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to target proactively. We will productize the capacity of angel investors to synergize. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric methodologies. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. If you implement virtually, you may have to engage interactively. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Think open-source. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time compliance and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate mindshare, TQM metrics are forced to become value-added. Without power shifts, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Without well-chosen media sourcing, metrics are forced to become open-source. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C2B process management. We will engineer the term "blog-based". The accounting management factor is magnetic. If you target iteravely, you may have to generate wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to recontextualize virtually. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "vertical". If you synergize proactively, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to deliver. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined leading-edge, visionary branding and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined development metrics. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Think intuitive, vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also seize intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy research and development and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think next-generation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think efficient. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "holistic content". We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to cultivate proactively. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Think value-added. Think sticky. Think impactful, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to transition without lessening our capability to deploy. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to enable without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? With a single click? The infomediaries factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will enhance the ability of e-markets to implement. We will orchestrate the term "open-source". What does the term "R&D reports" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack development. The aptitude to exploit holistically leads to the aptitude to harness interactively. Without cutting-edge, magnetic performance, you will lack schemas. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capability to incentivize without depreciating our ability to enable. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. We usually reinvent distributed ubiquitous, viral research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!