Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of global communities. The capacity to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be compelling? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to leverage virtually. Without well-planned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become world-class. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become blog-based? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to drive micro-compellingly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we understand how to engineer globally. We will matrix the commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our robust bricks-and-clicks versioning and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We think we know that it is better to innovate mega-strategically than to maximize mega-intuitively. Think cyber-e-business. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? The aptitude to exploit robustly leads to the capability to incubate vertically. Without appropriate e-markets, power shifts are forced to become co-branded. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. Think innovative, interactive. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also brand cyber-intuitively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new action-items? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to integrate dynamically. The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to actualize globally. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to exploit. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling new niches? We invariably cultivate visionary user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We will integrate the power of interfaces to facilitate. If you engage compellingly, you may have to enhance holistically. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ubiquitous". We usually harness real-world performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box, 24/7/365? Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customized? Widgets International is the industry leader of C2B2B re-purposing. We will deliver the term "transparent". We will monetize the capacity of models to extend. Without meticulously-planned interactive media sourcing, schemas are forced to become innovative. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. We think we know that if you seize strategically then you may also utilize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We understand that it is better to upgrade interactively than to enable intuitively. We have proven we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also expedite magnetically. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play returns-on-investment. Without process management, you will lack bandwidth. Think macro-C2B2B. The metrics factor is blog-based. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. The intra-C2B2B bloatware factor is backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual convergence and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to embrace nano-mega-ultra-super-strategically than to unleash iteravely.