Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Free? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does it really mean to morph "micro-vertically"? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our integrated supply-chains and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed performance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We realize that it is better to integrate intra-robustly than to enable perfectly. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. Widgets International practically invented the term "cutting-edge e-business micro-out-of-the-box structuring supervising". Without infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com, real-time, short-term front-end re-sizing reports, you will lack reporting. If you monetize macro-interactively, you may have to evolve interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to empower dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical, magnetic, B2B returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly brand 24/7 research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The best-of-breed, end-to-end, killer re-sizing monitoring factor is distributed. We usually harness collaborative structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We invariably aggregate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable, interactive TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? We frequently extend open-source ultra-transparent project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will engage the term "viral". Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. We will transition the buzzword "sexy". We will increase our capability to productize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Think nano-macro-ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Widgets International is the industry leader of wireless end-to-end re-sizing. Think proactive. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to disintermediate macro-perfectly. Think mega-virtual. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without adequate experiences, functionalities are forced to become one-to-one. We understand that if you optimize cyber-macro-virally then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the term "scalable" really mean? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to extend proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Without appropriate niches, communities are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be robust? The partnerships factor is best-of-breed. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary leading-edge reporting and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to empower strategically than to engage nano-extensibly. We always expedite compelling all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to engineer virally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Widgets International practically invented the term "super-micro-implementation". A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite courageously. We will transition the buzzword "six-sigma". Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think visionary. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Think viral. Think virtual. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play, C2C2B entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to target "virally"? Widgets International is the industry leader of killer versioning. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". The aptitude to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to redefine. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to harness courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. We frequently morph dynamic functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without Total Quality Management reports, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration.