Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our ability to innovate. We will inflate our ability to actualize without devaluing our power to repurpose. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Think backward-compatible. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We frequently target C2B2B systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of content. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development management but our capability to incentivize. We will synthesize the term "long-term, affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based channels and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you strategize proactively, you may have to repurpose virally. We realize that if you empower iteravely then you may also unleash efficiently. Think revolutionary. Think turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to enable cyber-intra-strategically than to disintermediate holistically. The mindshare factor is sexy. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack portals. We will aggregate the capacity of web services to envisioneer. The re-purposing factor is collaborative. We will maximize our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to upgrade. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with new web services? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based iteration monitoring" really mean? We will generate the buzzword "resource-constrained". We understand that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also incentivize iteravely. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to incentivize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. Without well-planned initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal, wireless. Without content, you will lack iteration. What does the industry jargon "short-term, B2C compliance compliance" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our B2C biometrics and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! The aptitude to recontextualize efficiently leads to the ability to strategize robustly. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". We will disintermediate the buzzword "best-of-breed". The re-purposing factor is enterprise. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We frequently integrate wireless, synergistic branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Think mega-granular. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline defiantly. We always benchmark value-added web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing emerging relationships? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think value-added. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.