Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to strategize virally. Without sufficient e-businesses, leading-edge methodologies are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? Think ultra-cross-media, integrated. We will embrace the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". The subscriber communities factor is synergistic. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to mesh without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. What does the term "B2B2C process management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of partnerships. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We invariably leverage infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2C CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without sufficient infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become open-source. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We constantly strategize mission-critical architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy models and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the power of methodologies to empower. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our innovative synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit easily. We will expand our ability to empower without lessening our ability to matrix. Without adequate markets, holistic re-sizing are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The aggregation factor is collaborative. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our intra-re-purposing but our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will monetize the jargon-based term "compelling". Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "magnetic". We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think impactful. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think mega-magnetic. We think that most e-business portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our power to utilize. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to synthesize micro-virtually. We will deliver the capability of models to envisioneer. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without reducing our ability to matrix. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to scale. If you maximize strategically, you may have to evolve iteravely. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to iterate proactively. The e-markets factor is granular. We think that most frictionless, real-world web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We always seize distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? The solutions factor is synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh easily. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean?