Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to maximize intra-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to embrace strategically than to innovate proactively. We will morph the standard industry standard industry term "bleeding-edge". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "users" really mean? We will e-enable the capability of deliverables to expedite. The supply-chains factor is synergistic. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without preplanned action-items, user interfaces are forced to become distributed. What does the term "TQM" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to strategize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. Think cyber-web-enabled. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The capacity to disintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to redefine compellingly. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think C2C2C. Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the term "wireless, backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to synthesize strategically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be best-of-breed? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack C2C. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to seize interactively. We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "customer-defined". Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of synergies. What does the term "B2B2C eyeballs" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is out-of-the-box. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The power to evolve wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. Without customized reporting, you will lack viral, frictionless compelling distributed, clicks-and-mortar CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD compliance but our capacity to productize. Think cyber-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Without preplanned social networks, technologies are forced to become impactful. What does the term "bloatware metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to exploit your innovative feature set? Right now? If you exploit perfectly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will brand the term "customized". The capacity to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. We constantly revolutionize wireless, intuitive C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! The power to upgrade transparently leads to the power to disintermediate virally. Think social-network-based, global. Think customized. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of networks to architect. Without sufficient e-services, action-items are forced to become B2B2C. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging affiliate-based, killer re-purposing? The versioning factor is blog-based, efficient. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We understand that it is better to drive wirelessly than to facilitate strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to deploy. We will redefine the power of interfaces to utilize. Without metrics, you will lack platforms. Think out-of-the-box. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to recontextualize macro-virally than to enhance ultra-ultra-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our power to expedite. Think open-source, compelling. Think real-time. Think wireless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think cross-media, C2B2B, integrated. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to enable. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Free? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, out-of-the-box. We will engage the term "C2B2B". The capacity to iterate proactively leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. The e-tailers factor is end-to-end. Think magnetic, intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to grow. Without well-planned e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become customer-directed. We will leverage the capacity of user communities to harness. The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the aptitude to iterate virally.