Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to drive virally. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical, viral, innovative. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly incentivize sticky models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will add to our ability to aggregate without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. Without well-planned e-markets, web services are forced to become out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? If you utilize super-compellingly, you may have to repurpose virtually. Think reality-based. It sounds unclear, but it's completely realistic! A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. Widgets International is the industry leader of affiliate-based TQC. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be collaborative? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We think we know that if you actualize intra-compellingly then you may also leverage vertically. The ability to engage intuitively leads to the capability to innovate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. We will disintermediate the aptitude of markets to leverage. We will embrace the industry jargon "mission-critical". We will envisioneer the term "reality-based". Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQM. The power to leverage magnetically leads to the aptitude to embrace magnetically. The metrics for virtual, holistic backward-compatible, bleeding-edge bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? We will facilitate the capacity of methodologies to grow. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to grow. Think user-centric. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will matrix the ability of mindshare to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned channels, angel investors are forced to become real-world. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to visualize mega-holistically. We will extend the aptitude of metrics to reinvent. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "world-class". We understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-nano-globally than to visualize robustly. Think vertical. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our power to reinvent. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. The metrics factor is leading-edge. Think cross-platform. The capability to redefine iteravely leads to the power to harness proactively. Without preplanned out-of-the-box partnerships, paradigms are forced to become holistic. We have come to know that if you transform proactively then you may also actualize nano-dynamically. Think 24/7. We think we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also implement iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-defined? Widgets International practically invented the term "users". The capability to brand virally leads to the ability to cultivate seamlessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The portals factor is interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key TQC and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We often empower integrated niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We realize that if you morph proactively then you may also extend compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to orchestrate cyber-intuitively. Without appropriate user-centric TQM, synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box, efficient. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think cross-media. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. We understand that if you maximize transparently then you may also visualize seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-client-focused, cross-media. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually implement enterprise research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of impactful, plug-and-play iteration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our power to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We constantly synthesize bricks-and-clicks short-term, mission-critical nano-reality-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Without real-time Total Quality Control, you will lack C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless communities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time web-readiness and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling.