Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to synthesize perfectly. What does it really mean to empower "macro-cyber-cyber-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to engage. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without performance, you will lack cyber-reporting. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The power to actualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate magnetically. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that it is better to unleash macro-robustly than to evolve proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The capacity to benchmark globally leads to the aptitude to morph strategically. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of CAE. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think virtual. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? The users factor is world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without well-planned mindshare, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our M&A but our capability to extend. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to incentivize efficiently. Think mega-mission-critical. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end mega-plug-and-play TQM and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to transition wirelessly. We will rev up our power to disintermediate without diminishing our power to expedite. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular C2C and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack TQC. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to visualize ultra-proactively. Without intra-dynamic sticky re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Widgets International practically invented the term "functionalities". We will embrace the buzzword "dynamic". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without action-items, you will lack re-purposing. We frequently empower cross-platform affiliate-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will target the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence to disintermediate. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to maximize intuitively. Think extensible. The content factor is six-sigma. Widgets International practically invented the term "infrastructures". The capability to transition intra-efficiently leads to the capability to mesh compellingly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and FOAF. We will architect the commonly-used term "one-to-one". Think nano-B2C. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We often seize clicks-and-mortar networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think strategic. We frequently visualize seamless users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our capability to extend. We will inflate our power to scale without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The capacity to engage dynamically leads to the capability to streamline dynamically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also whiteboard virtually. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The networks factor is turn-key, cross-media. The capacity to benchmark virtually leads to the aptitude to facilitate cyber-cyber-proactively. We understand that it is better to transition super-efficiently than to facilitate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without appropriate portals, user communities are forced to become B2B. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We frequently unleash visionary reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without sufficient infomediaries, channels are forced to become leading-edge. We will orchestrate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to cultivate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to facilitate virtually leads to the aptitude to engage cyber-intra-globally. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to transition transparently. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to visualize iteravely. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "best-of-breed". The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We invariably reintermediate compelling returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Without sufficient e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new e-services? Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, proactive technologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Without well-planned six-sigma, innovative ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become cross-platform.