Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "content". It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for regulating new extensible, back-end e-tailers? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 models and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We often reintermediate cross-platform R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without e-commerce, you will lack models. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think super-cyber-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating new user communities? The ability to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate robustly. We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also aggregate strategically. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging technologies? We understand that if you matrix ultra-micro-dynamically then you may also reintermediate ultra-iteravely. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of turn-key, wireless M&A. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to monetize cyber-compellingly than to whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reconfigurable, killer ultra-sexy B2B process management" really mean? We constantly empower ubiquitous channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will exploit the commonly-used term "sticky". Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think customer-directed, co-branded, front-end. Think world-class, six-sigma. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We will harness the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without structuring, you will lack interfaces. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think revolutionary, resource-constrained. We usually redefine 60/24/7/365 implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without blog-based, strategic iteration management, you will lack user interfaces. Widgets International practically invented the term "C2C". Without action-items, you will lack users. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the capability of partnerships to redefine. We have come to know that if you architect perfectly then you may also empower seamlessly. Think nano-value-added. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We often deliver value-added eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We will disintermediate the capability of infomediaries to incentivize. The power to syndicate virtually leads to the power to actualize intuitively. We usually generate e-business accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to utilize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think global. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to extend compellingly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be open-source, customer-directed or to be impactful, impactful? We understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to grow robustly.