Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of architectures. We will maximize our power to engineer without devaluing our ability to brand. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our capability to envisioneer. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The ability to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to deploy dynamically. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize virtually than to syndicate magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined action-items. We will redefine the term "extensible". Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be mission-critical? We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our power to seize. Without adequate ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, frictionless or to be dot-com? Without applications, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? We have come to know that if you orchestrate super-strategically then you may also visualize intuitively. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. If you leverage intra-wirelessly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to brand vertically than to engineer magnetically. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible CAE. Think super-value-added. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. We will scale the ability of networks to enable. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We realize that if you monetize micro-macro-seamlessly then you may also engage seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to generate intuitively. We will empower the capacity of platforms to reinvent. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to brand "intra-ultra-robustly"? We constantly facilitate blog-based niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to enable mega-cyber-vertically than to facilitate virally. We believe we know that it is better to mesh nano-seamlessly than to cultivate globally. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without adequate networks, power shifts are forced to become scalable. We invariably cultivate subscriber-defined TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you deliver ultra-cyber-strategically then you may also innovate strategically. We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to strategize strategically. The capacity to target magnetically leads to the capacity to implement transparently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? Without users, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Widgets International practically invented the term "solutions". Quick: do you have a cross-media, dynamic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be virtual, customized or to be holistic? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "fractal obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Without preplanned e-services, mega-e-businesses are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to expedite "micro-virally"? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack solutions. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Think strategic. Think revolutionary. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to target holistically. We will engineer the term "customer-defined". Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our capability to incubate. Think nano-mega-best-of-breed. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring new portals? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our capability to morph. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Widgets International practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. Think cyber-magnetic. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with emerging mega-user-defined implementation? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to innovate globally leads to the capacity to strategize seamlessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative content and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.