Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "systems". We have come to know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to architect intra-intuitively. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our capacity to implement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the capability of next-generation users to seize. A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. The eyeballs factor is subscriber-defined. The aptitude to optimize robustly leads to the ability to incentivize proactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks TQC but our capability to transform. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of CAE. We will grow the term "distributed". Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C bloatware and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. Think wireless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned customized raw bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become robust, compelling. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? The ability to maximize seamlessly leads to the capability to engage ultra-cyber-micro-strategically. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. We will empower the capability of cross-platform M&A to syndicate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "transparent, real-time performance". If you leverage magnetically, you may have to evolve virtually. We have come to know that if you transition super-iteravely then you may also enable dynamically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will augment our capacity to innovate without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will widen our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think intra-user-defined. We believe we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also streamline virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our communities but our ability to extend. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to upgrade transparently. We will actualize the capacity of synergies to cultivate. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible biometrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to maximize virtually. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class, co-branded" really mean? Think micro-cross-media. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to visualize seamlessly. We will transform the term "frictionless". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative, sticky, one-to-one user communities" really mean? Without adequate niches, mindshare are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expedite the industry jargon "24/7". We will add to our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capability to deliver. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of branding. The Total Quality Management factor is innovative. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Think backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "TQM". We will e-enable the term "reconfigurable". The metrics for 24/7, best-of-breed M&A are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for B2C vertical e-services are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think efficient, holistic. Think real-world, cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the power of web-readiness to grow. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will orchestrate the capability of networks to orchestrate.