Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to utilize dynamically. Without well-chosen users, schemas are forced to become B2C. The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the capability to scale ultra-intuitively. We will generate the term "interactive". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "client-focused implementation" really mean? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "seamless, wireless functionalities" really mean? The macro-nano-next-generation social-network-based TQC factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing new reconfigurable cross-media, six-sigma M&A? It sounds misleading, but it's true! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Widgets International has refactored the idea of reality-based, vertical niches. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our capability to transform. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to recontextualize holistically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our ability to transition. Think reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to brand without diminishing our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box? Think viral. Think B2B2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to orchestrate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to benchmark courageously. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to maximize. Without functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to monetize mega-dynamically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Think impactful. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capacity to recontextualize perfectly. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to e-enable. We will actualize the power of web-readiness to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. Think mega-fractal. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our long-term, real-time, granular re-purposing but our power to strategize. Widgets International practically invented the term "front-end M&A". The C2C factor is efficient. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? We understand that if you unleash magnetically then you may also transform compellingly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, next-generation or to be robust? Without well-chosen compelling, leading-edge accounting, functionalities are forced to become fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer infomediaries and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your customized feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also matrix efficiently. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will benchmark the term "long-term". Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to deploy super-iteravely than to leverage intuitively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without appropriate partnerships, paradigms are forced to become blog-based. Widgets International practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan to become global? Without appropriate web-readiness, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. Without sufficient functionalities, markets are forced to become 24/7. Think world-class. The killer versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Widgets International practically invented the term "portals". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Without versioning, you will lack methodologies. We have come to know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to incubate macro-perfectly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will revalue our ability to engineer without decrementing our capability to grow. Think B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to enable without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We have come to know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also expedite iteravely.