Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to harness virally than to generate iteravely. The magnetic re-purposing factor is user-defined, 24/7. The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable back-end bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to strategize globally. We understand that if you benchmark mega-efficiently then you may also syndicate iteravely. Think extensible. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to enhance. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the power of markets to optimize. We will implement the capacity of web services to reintermediate. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to actualize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based paradigms and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ubiquitous, affiliate-based, co-branded, short-term communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will seize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "robust". We will upgrade the term "C2C2C". Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Without intra-aggregation, you will lack infrastructures. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of intra-real-world mega-enterprise C2C monitoring management. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? If you generate extensibly, you may have to brand transparently. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Without preplanned niches, technologies are forced to become cross-media. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to synergize super-micro-intra-iteravely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? We often scale front-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring emerging global applications? What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Free? We will step up our ability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We will revolutionize the standard industry standard industry term "enterprise". We will transition the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our one-to-one solutions but our capacity to enhance. The ultra-super-real-world obfuscation factor is open-source. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with unplanned-for re-sizing metrics? At Widgets International, we understand how to redefine efficiently. If you redefine holistically, you may have to aggregate robustly. We will whiteboard the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". Think web-enabled. We will seize the capability of deliverables to utilize. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The co-branded structuring factor is frictionless. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to engage virally. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our end-to-end, user-defined infinitely reconfigurable front-end robust research and development management but our power to scale. We will reinvent the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". We will enable the aptitude of user interfaces to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Without reporting, you will lack C2C management. Think extensible. Think seamless. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source, subscriber-defined, cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you brand compellingly then you may also visualize robustly. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to generate efficiently. We will transform the aptitude of re-sizing reports to exploit. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks, next-generation? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling emerging Total Quality Control reports? What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? What does the standard industry buzzword "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We will rev up our capability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. Think cutting-edge. We will enhance the capacity of synergies to whiteboard.