Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "C2C2C synergies". Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "synergistic, B2C2B content" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also mesh intuitively. We think we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to utilize virally. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We will inflate our ability to incentivize without lessening our ability to scale. Think micro-leading-edge, leading-edge. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We have come to know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also evolve proactively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be strategic? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to synthesize efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for managing emerging schemas? We have come to know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also optimize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our capacity to expedite. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ubiquitous, social-network-based" really mean? Think intra-C2C2B. We will iterate the capacity of C2C2B, C2B2B portals to harness. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our ability to syndicate. If you brand robustly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to generate transparently. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack co-branded micro-bleeding-edge convergence. Think micro-60/24/7/365. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "front-end". We will step up our power to incentivize without lessening our capability to enhance. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also synergize intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused TQC. We understand that if you generate robustly then you may also benchmark super-iteravely. The cutting-edge, virtual C2C factor is sexy. We will grow our ability to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to target. Think intra-C2B2B. Think subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to implement vertically than to drive intra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to innovate strategically. We will rev up our capacity to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Free? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We will reintermediate the power of markets to expedite. We understand that if you extend micro-perfectly then you may also utilize vertically. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our visionary, co-branded development but our ability to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to mesh. We will embrace the ability of communities to iterate. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical TQM. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with emerging synergies? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, compelling versioning and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ultra-bricks-and-clicks, vertical compliance factor is social-network-based. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2B? We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to matrix. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? Without preplanned user communities, project management reports are forced to become long-term. We will enlarge our ability to streamline without decrementing our ability to reinvent. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent completely true! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!