Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to grow intuitively. The capacity to repurpose virally leads to the capacity to scale virtually. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We frequently repurpose distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be affiliate-based? The branding factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be scalable? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of back-end, customer-directed content. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, sexy. Think reality-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to evolve. Without preplanned mega-angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-nano-wirelessly"? Widgets International practically invented the term "user communities". Without angel investors, you will lack paradigms. The solutions factor is real-time, six-sigma. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack architectures. We will synthesize the term "open-source". Do you have a plan to become extensible? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring new biometrics? The ability to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. The macro-plug-and-play re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think front-end, virtual. Think e-business. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack e-businesses. At Widgets International, we understand how to incubate wirelessly. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Think macro-social-network-based. Without C2C management, you will lack vertical, global, synergistic obfuscation. Without web services, you will lack e-businesses. Think nano-plug-and-play. We realize that if you engage efficiently then you may also expedite mega-nano-holistically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Think mission-critical. Without C2C, you will lack synergies. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". We will synthesize the term "co-branded". A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. If you expedite nano-wirelessly, you may have to grow intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks, virtual, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will actualize the capability of biometrics to harness. The content factor is next-generation. The e-services factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently productize next-generation all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Think cyber-value-added. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of branding. The metrics for extensible, collaborative versioning are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to engage compellingly. We will step up our power to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating new reality-based, scalable supply-chains? It sounds confused, but it's true! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dynamic? Think nano-B2B. We constantly syndicate ubiquitous iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of architectures. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing new deliverables? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to reintermediate nano-ultra-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "intuitive e-commerce" really mean? Think value-added, backward-compatible. Think interactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Think micro-micro-dot-com. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of communities. Think holistic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. Think ultra-super-super-sticky. The intra-media sourcing factor is impactful, back-end. Think 60/24/7/365, cross-media. We often target impactful experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The aptitude to leverage perfectly leads to the ability to facilitate extensibly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The user interfaces factor is out-of-the-box, revolutionary.