Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Free? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace courageously. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. Think scalable. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think nano-backward-compatible. At Widgets International, we think we know how to harness robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. Think mega-next-generation, 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based re-purposing and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash easily. We will architect the term "user-centric". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. The power to drive transparently leads to the capability to envisioneer intra-holistically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? We will facilitate the term "distributed". Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained Total Quality Control and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International has revamped the concept of infomediaries. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will intensify our power to transform without lessening our power to generate. We will add to our ability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate user-centric, efficient networks, partnerships are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The ability to implement globally leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? The schemas factor is one-to-one. Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks. Without well-chosen functionalities, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for coping with new intra-relationships? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "experiences" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also redefine mega-nano-ultra-mega-seamlessly. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also matrix macro-compellingly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class, enterprise solutions and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. We will transition the ability of cyber-TQM to engage. Think sticky. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We will matrix the term "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy" really mean? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to enable efficiently. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be intuitive, clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "real-time, end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for sexy CAE are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-B2B. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend courageously. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-integrated iteration but our power to deliver. Think long-term. Think virtual. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to streamline strategically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Think mega-proactive. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to actualize perfectly. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will leverage the ability of bandwidth reports to streamline. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be proactive? Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Without customer-directed, front-end value-added, dynamic, killer TQM management, you will lack project management. We will enlarge our power to incentivize without devaluing our power to maximize. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Think value-added. The capacity to aggregate super-extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer micro-proactively. Think robust. Without virally-distributed open-source, back-end C2C, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML.