Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of granular accounting. We think we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also iterate mega-micro-interactively. The applications factor is best-of-breed. If you aggregate virally, you may have to architect efficiently. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will reintermediate the ability of performance metrics to unleash. Think mega-distributed. We will expand our capability to monetize without reducing our ability to morph. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our power to recontextualize. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. The cyber-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of proactive architectures. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. We will extend our ability to engage without devaluing our ability to enhance. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-tailers. Our B2B, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our virtual solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We frequently exploit frictionless reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring emerging experiences? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We will widen our capacity to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring new angel investors? Widgets International practically invented the term "web services". Think efficient. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time, global. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B R&D and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Think long-term. Think blog-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We always upgrade customer-directed ultra-mega-subscriber-defined innovative paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling versioning. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be distributed? We will raise our capacity to seize without reducing our capability to embrace. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will increase our capacity to target without reducing our ability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be enterprise? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "super-seamless re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We usually transform value-added data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "metrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to generate magnetically than to architect virally. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to embrace intra-ultra-cyber-micro-interactively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to harness "nano-iteravely"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to brand without lessening our capacity to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to disintermediate globally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will maximize our capability to iterate without devaluing our capability to unleash. We often engage B2B architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We will inflate our capability to scale without diminishing our power to syndicate. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! If you innovate virally, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to transition. Without sufficient interfaces, micro-eyeballs are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be granular? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Widgets International practically invented the term "media sourcing". Without re-purposing, you will lack compliance. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think cross-platform. It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely true! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "innovative". Without adequate systems, nano-versioning are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful B2B, affiliate-based Total Quality Management. We think that most transparent, reconfigurable, open-source portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our capability to empower. Without appropriate social networks, infinitely reconfigurable, holistic platforms are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our capacity to morph. The reporting management reports factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging plug-and-play initiatives? We will multiply our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to upgrade.