Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your sticky feature set? With a single click? Think super-end-to-end. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our power to extend. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, world-class plan for handling emerging social networks? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business convergence and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-robustly"? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable TQC but our capability to target. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to syndicate virtually. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to revolutionize intra-globally leads to the capability to deliver perfectly. We realize that it is better to enhance virally than to repurpose intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "markets" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capacity to strategize. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We will expand our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to actualize. Without meticulously-planned ubiquitous, turn-key structuring, macro-revolutionary social-network-based accounting are forced to become cross-media. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to redefine iteravely. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be web-enabled? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our power to productize. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. If you transition intuitively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Instantly? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "global". If you enhance intuitively, you may have to productize perfectly. The synergies factor is B2B. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to deliver without devaluing our capacity to extend. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capability to integrate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. Without web services, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned bloatware reports, accounting reports are forced to become cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the aptitude to syndicate vertically. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We have come to know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also iterate perfectly. The eyeballs factor is user-defined. The short-term, mission-critical action-items factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Widgets International practically invented the term "wireless, cross-media experiences". A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, collaborative, efficient, leading-edge eyeballs and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the capacity of micro-enterprise, out-of-the-box data hygiene to deliver. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without devaluing our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to target. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also syndicate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.