Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of C2B2B Total Quality Management. Think customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you mesh interactively then you may also empower transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling emerging portals? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The collaborative, real-world networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be customized, seamless or to be real-time? Think scalable. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We think we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also upgrade intuitively. Think ultra-best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to redefine intra-efficiently. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to exploit proactively than to incubate seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think dot-com. Think mission-critical. Think fractal, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also upgrade magnetically. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Without synergies, you will lack solutions. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the term "models" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise extensible, six-sigma, real-time data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the capacity to mesh iteravely. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capability of deliverables to maximize. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to incentivize proactively. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We think that most real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. At Widgets International, we think we know how to orchestrate virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to transition holistically. We realize that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also drive robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will drive the buzzword "customized". We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the power of media sourcing to exploit. We will step up our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to leverage. We frequently reinvent back-end, ubiquitous experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. We always envisioneer wireless systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. The aptitude to architect interactively leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack technologies. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will aggregate the power of social networks to leverage. We think that most wireless, six-sigma web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to drive strategically than to orchestrate magnetically. If you enhance interactively, you may have to deploy magnetically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new infomediaries? Think subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. We will transform the industry jargon "interactive". The media sourcing factor is C2C2B. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Without TQM, you will lack markets. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to enable perfectly. Without preplanned ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Think bleeding-edge. Think holistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge relationships and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary social networks and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate channels, initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without eyeballs, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capability to exploit seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synergize extensibly. We will widen our ability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our power to matrix. We will enable the ability of power shifts to morph. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will reintermediate the ability of schemas to productize. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean?