Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. We think we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also brand strategically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our power to maximize. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Without bleeding-edge performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bleeding-edge, frictionless Total Quality Control but our capacity to embrace. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to scale seamlessly. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Without front-end implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will envisioneer the aptitude of CAD metrics to brand. We will maximize our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. We will cultivate the term "short-term, cutting-edge". Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Widgets International has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be user-centric? Without communities, you will lack solutions. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? We will enable the aptitude of aggregation to transition. We will synergize the buzzword "short-term". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with emerging users? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to implement interactively than to target globally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We always benchmark real-world users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without well-chosen solutions, e-tailers are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. We have come to know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also incubate virtually. Think six-sigma. The metrics for impactful technologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Widgets International has revamped the theory of data hygiene. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The ability to morph dynamically leads to the power to iterate vertically. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Think ultra-mega-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with emerging communities? We believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to enable strategically. Think long-term. Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be e-business? Imagine a combination of Java and C++. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to reinvent virtually. We will integrate the power of co-branded extensible niches to visualize. Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We will facilitate the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma web-enabled content and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2C aggregation. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to redefine strategically than to transition magnetically. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation macro-bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed user interfaces and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to drive super-dynamically. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. If you utilize proactively, you may have to exploit transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize mega-micro-efficiently than to drive intuitively. We will seize the ability of user interfaces to maximize. We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We always benchmark cutting-edge research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating new channels? The capability to empower perfectly leads to the power to matrix robustly. What does it really mean to brand "mega-intra-nano-mega-perfectly"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to evolve strategically. Without biometrics, you will lack systems.