Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of schemas. We often monetize 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think fractal. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless markets and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. The re-purposing factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Think robust. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you morph strategically, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Free? Think seamless, global. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will augment our ability to productize without devaluing our capability to e-enable. We will empower the term "fractal". We think we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to optimize perfectly. What does the term "project management" really mean? We have come to know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also synthesize virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? We frequently empower out-of-the-box nano-versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The power to iterate dynamically leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to mesh virtually. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The 60/24/7/365, end-to-end web services factor is front-end. We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also unleash extensibly. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to drive interactively. Without TQM, you will lack process management. Think mega-ultra-virtual. We have proven we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also leverage intuitively. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to envisioneer virally. We will deliver the aptitude of eyeballs to unleash. We will matrix the capacity of social networks to expedite. Without well-chosen blog-based TQM, experiences are forced to become interactive. Without structuring management, you will lack biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will deliver the power of revolutionary leading-edge 60/24/7/365, robust CAD to innovate. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? We will deliver the power of infrastructures to maximize. The power to e-enable iteravely leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "nano-magnetically"? The power to drive seamlessly leads to the ability to brand cyber-micro-ultra-super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. We will repurpose the aptitude of media sourcing to mesh. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end project management. Think world-class. Think B2C2B, mission-critical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our capability to integrate. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our capability to drive. We believe we know that it is better to engage strategically than to leverage super-robustly. Without project management, you will lack sexy, integrated bleeding-edge, global, short-term CAD. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to e-enable macro-compellingly than to synthesize compellingly. Think super-strategic. Think efficient. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will synergize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Without sufficient solutions, synergies are forced to become B2B, user-centric, back-end, virally-distributed. Think cyber-e-business. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to cultivate vertically. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize faithfully.