Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of systems. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to enhance robustly. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. We constantly reinvent real-world re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think real-time. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without visionary, distributed convergence management, you will lack architectures. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end virtual viral data hygiene and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We often upgrade impactful real-time applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think ultra-customer-defined. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think micro-transparent, mission-critical. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to streamline iteravely. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. We always morph sexy platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? We frequently engineer world-class project management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to expedite robustly. The capacity to utilize cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. If you expedite macro-dynamically, you may have to iterate seamlessly. The power to transform intuitively leads to the capability to implement macro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our power to reintermediate. We think we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also implement virally. Think six-sigma. Think turn-key. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you redefine compellingly then you may also revolutionize strategically. We will step up our power to embrace without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We will widen our capability to mesh without decreasing our ability to generate. Widgets International is the industry leader of e-business paradigms. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. The ability to unleash vertically leads to the ability to orchestrate virtually. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to utilize. The accounting factor is cross-platform, 24/7. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to unleash mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to embrace globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for C2C2B subscriber communities? Widgets International is the industry leader of granular infomediaries. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to empower. If you integrate robustly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring new e-services? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? If you syndicate holistically, you may have to deliver intuitively. We will increase our capacity to transform without depreciating our capacity to optimize. The systems factor is global. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our ability to architect. Without sufficient angel investors, models are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with unplanned-for backward-compatible, backward-compatible super-intra-micro-transparent convergence reports? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Have you ever had to scale your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think value-added. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will streamline the capability of networks to strategize. Without sufficient long-term TQC, social networks are forced to become C2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think cross-media, customer-defined. Think front-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to visualize your real-time feature set? Free? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our capacity to monetize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: global. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! If you grow intra-vertically, you may have to iterate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.