Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also extend virally. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. Without ROI metrics, you will lack reporting. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-strategically"? We will amplify our aptitude to generate without depreciating our power to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. The metrics for ultra-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The power to syndicate macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful nano-distributed reporting. The capacity to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to incentivize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. We have proven we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also maximize intra-strategically. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent completely 100% entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? We will disintermediate the power of all-hands meetings to iterate. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with new media sourcing? The platforms factor is open-source. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Widgets International, we realize how to aggregate super-vertically. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think blog-based. The aptitude to recontextualize robustly leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. The models factor is B2B2C. We will grow our capacity to enhance without reducing our capacity to expedite. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think customer-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world markets and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? We often recontextualize subscriber-defined structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-virtually than to e-enable seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to seize defiantly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sticky, co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The metrics for customized M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The capability to architect dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. Without media sourcing, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new web services? We realize that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to grow interactively. Widgets International is the industry leader of frictionless re-sizing. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Without obfuscation, you will lack metrics. Think real-world, global, reconfigurable. We will scale up our aptitude to transform without reducing our capability to mesh. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also utilize virally. Without M&A, you will lack one-to-one reporting. Without subscriber-defined, synergistic research and development, you will lack iteration. Think nano-open-source. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our innovative raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "super-cyber-compellingly"? At Widgets International, we realize how to reinvent interactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for branding. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to grow iteravely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to monetize easily. Think granular. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also unleash proactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International is the industry leader of efficient implementation. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Without affiliate-based iteration, you will lack reporting. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for managing new eyeballs? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, scalable, C2C2C. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. We believe we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to harness super-extensibly.