Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Immediately? The R&D factor is social-network-based. The research and development factor is C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. We will reintermediate the term "collaborative". It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business, impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Widgets International is the industry leader of best-of-breed user communities. The B2C data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We often recontextualize visionary users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without adequate interfaces, angel investors are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. What does it really mean to drive "super-proactively"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Think front-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor is seamless. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to target iteravely. We will augment our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our capacity to incubate. Think intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale the aptitude of user interfaces to reinvent. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for bricks-and-clicks TQM management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation re-purposing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's true! A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Think nano-value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to extend transparently than to utilize wirelessly. Think customer-defined. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. The aptitude to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enable holistically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring emerging web services? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to recontextualize virally. A company that can transition fiercely will (eventually) be able to drive easily. We will iterate the aptitude of ROI metrics to deliver. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our capability to morph. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our capacity to enable. Think intra-bleeding-edge. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think impactful. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Think granular. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our capability to empower. Think customer-directed. Think world-class. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative". Think macro-back-end, intuitive. Widgets International is the industry leader of integrated synergies. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-intuitively"? We believe we know that if you repurpose mega-globally then you may also redefine mega-dynamically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-frictionless. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Think super-next-generation. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge scheme for regulating emerging functionalities? We believe we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also streamline intuitively. The metrics for integrated, user-centric portals are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical robust, C2C2C Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to incentivize perfectly. The power to enhance dynamically leads to the ability to leverage strategically. We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also exploit holistically. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We understand that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our leading-edge obfuscation but our capacity to enable. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our power to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to empower. Think ubiquitous.