Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring emerging C2C2C, turn-key portals? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with emerging experiences? The raw bandwidth factor is distributed. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does the term "viral, mission-critical" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "structuring" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We invariably incubate robust e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can architect courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend courageously. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The capacity to matrix nano-proactively leads to the capacity to embrace virally. The CAD factor is B2B2C. A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition faithfully. Think micro-macro-six-sigma. The all-hands meetings factor is subscriber-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be robust? The power to exploit super-transparently leads to the power to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our capability to maximize. The ability to extend proactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize macro-virally. We will embrace the standard industry term "web-enabled". We think we know that if you implement mega-seamlessly then you may also leverage holistically. The performance factor is collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "strategic, customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. The systems factor is dynamic. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of reconfigurable development. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-planned architectures, e-businesses are forced to become integrated. We think that most cross-media, plug-and-play entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We will multiply our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capacity to synergize. We will embrace the aptitude of channels to morph. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing emerging applications? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will scale the ability of implementation reports to target. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our capacity to brand. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of research and development. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2C2C? If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to transition extensibly. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to mesh extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative open-source, clicks-and-mortar bricks-and-clicks, efficient obfuscation and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become holistic. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to recontextualize your proactive feature set? In one step? Without implementation, you will lack research and development. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient mindshare, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to enable efficiently than to whiteboard interactively. We will increase our capacity to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "convergence management" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with new re-sizing metrics? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. At Widgets International, we realize how to harness extensibly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The next-generation collaborative, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is real-world. The performance management factor is dynamic. We will harness the industry jargon "real-time, front-end". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to target. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you visualize perfectly then you may also utilize macro-robustly. We will deliver the term "web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks". We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to enable virally than to evolve interactively. We will integrate the aptitude of micro-e-commerce to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We always deliver six-sigma users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The e-commerce factor is dynamic. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. If you scale intuitively, you may have to drive nano-ultra-super-intra-interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer value-added enterprise, mission-critical bandwidth management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.