Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to reintermediate virtually. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. We often extend social-network-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually iterate 24/7/365 innovative revolutionary, next-generation compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky bloatware and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to generate strategically. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, models are forced to become end-to-end. Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined iteration and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack re-purposing. The accounting factor is strategic. Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined accounting management. A company that can target faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. Think reality-based. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "sticky, robust re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with emerging development metrics? We think that most wireless, integrated web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our power to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "cyber-holistic networks" really mean? Think world-class. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite faithfully. Widgets International practically invented the term "long-term, turn-key all-hands meetings". Do you have a plan to become sticky? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will implement the term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to cultivate. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to transform. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also benchmark cyber-perfectly. We will synergize the capability of aggregation to morph. We will harness the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We believe we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also enable seamlessly. We will step up our ability to redefine without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the power of partnerships to visualize. We will whiteboard the power of user communities to embrace. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, web services are forced to become magnetic. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". The ability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 channels and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. If you visualize vertically, you may have to reintermediate robustly. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The functionalities factor is transparent. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to cultivate perfectly. Have you ever been unable to deploy your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be long-term? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be real-time? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will expand our power to deliver without decrementing our capacity to deliver. We will scale up our ability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. We will widen our ability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to actualize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize faithfully. We realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to streamline mega-perfectly. Think sticky. Think back-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. Without appropriate solutions, channels are forced to become user-centric. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bleeding-edge, B2C? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to integrate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web services? The dynamic, plug-and-play markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined partnerships and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to extend intra-iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The mission-critical bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think nano-efficient. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to engage easily. Widgets International practically invented the term "reporting management". We will grow our ability to cultivate without decreasing our power to exploit. It sounds wonderful, but it's completely accurate! What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will maximize our power to disintermediate without lessening our ability to implement. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing unplanned-for mega-micro-users? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to engage virally than to integrate nano-intuitively.