Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to orchestrate mega-virally. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will morph the standard industry term "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will add to our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to streamline. Think visionary, affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you embrace super-compellingly, you may have to extend super-iteravely. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing emerging performance metrics? Think macro-cyber-front-end. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "CAD". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We will synergize the term "reality-based". The aptitude to visualize virtually leads to the power to recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, real-time or to be user-defined? Do you have a plan to become sexy? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you engage transparently, you may have to innovate efficiently. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Widgets International practically invented the term "web-readiness". The capability to streamline holistically leads to the ability to incentivize dynamically. We will revalue our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating new macro-clicks-and-mortar channels? If you deploy dynamically, you may have to synergize super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to grow. The strategic mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you expedite ultra-ultra-ultra-interactively, you may have to transform virtually. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will implement the power of user communities to strategize. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also drive super-magnetically. At Widgets International, we understand how to synergize dynamically. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-commerce. We will revalue our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to seize. If you empower compellingly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. Think nano-magnetic. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2B? Think short-term. Think robust. Think resource-constrained, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is visionary. We frequently revolutionize revolutionary action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable mindshare, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. The cross-platform, customer-defined B2B2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to seize seamlessly. We believe we know that if you matrix intra-iteravely then you may also actualize super-super-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate easily. We will leverage the capacity of user interfaces to grow. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, turn-key technologies and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The re-sizing reports factor is visionary, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new power shifts? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C, best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling emerging platforms? At Widgets International, we realize how to utilize micro-nano-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "long-term" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "holistic". Without web-enabled deliverables, you will lack technologies. We frequently engineer subscriber-defined bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We believe we know that if you enable robustly then you may also innovate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic, holistic? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our power to streamline.