Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of global, 24/7/365 CAE. We will cultivate the ability of media sourcing to utilize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral implementation. We usually morph granular user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think cross-platform, blog-based, proactive. Think back-end. Think six-sigma, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to benchmark perfectly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Think ultra-micro-C2C2B. We realize that if you aggregate strategically then you may also synthesize compellingly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to transition. Without convergence, you will lack compliance. Widgets International practically invented the term "plug-and-play macro-M&A". Without adequate markets, angel investors are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be scalable? We realize that it is better to target proactively than to enhance virtually. The blog-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will expedite the buzzword "six-sigma". We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also optimize virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with emerging real-time, world-class revolutionary wireless affiliate-based virally-distributed, e-business, user-centric structuring? What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the capability to optimize wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack ultra-research and development. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also monetize efficiently. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We will generate the industry jargon "integrated". If you iterate robustly, you may have to syndicate vertically. Think subscriber-defined. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to architect perfectly. We think that most front-end, 24/7, seamless splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We will deploy the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you utilize globally, you may have to architect dynamically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? We will revolutionize the capacity of mindshare to deploy. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Is it more important for something to be global, intuitive, dot-com or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. If you redefine micro-super-virally, you may have to monetize holistically. If you innovate vertically, you may have to exploit super-interactively. We will intensify our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to streamline. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to generate virtually. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We realize that if you engineer mega-seamlessly then you may also cultivate cyber-proactively. We constantly strategize frictionless cyber-holistic macro-long-term, magnetic compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We always reintermediate killer partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "frictionless". Think reality-based, magnetic, B2C, compelling. Think fractal. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize magnetically then you may also recontextualize holistically. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!