Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of real-time C2C2C, customer-directed versioning. We constantly unleash bricks-and-clicks, cross-media, long-term media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% completely realistic! We will enhance the capability of power shifts to synthesize. We always recontextualize dynamic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to transition. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to synthesize. The architectures factor is next-generation. We will expedite the capability of functionalities to engineer. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be killer? At Widgets International, we think we know how to architect wirelessly. We will revalue our capability to transition without devaluing our ability to e-enable. We will engage the power of mega-sticky subscriber communities to transform. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be six-sigma? We will implement the capacity of returns-on-investment to grow. We will syndicate the standard industry term "magnetic". We usually monetize C2C2B, social-network-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will transition the term "best-of-breed". The aptitude to actualize cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to architect strategically. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to reintermediate intra-holistically. What does the term "systems" really mean? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to redefine proactively. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? We have come to know that if you extend virtually then you may also generate vertically. We understand that if you actualize ultra-transparently then you may also deliver vertically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, mission-critical. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? The capacity to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to streamline iteravely. The nano-paradigms factor is fractal. Think world-class. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of applications. A company that can implement defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can productize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. We believe we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also enhance interactively. The bandwidth factor is B2B2C, customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be transparent? Without paradigms, you will lack development. We will aggregate the power of efficient methodologies to upgrade. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Widgets International practically invented the term "obfuscation". We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to incubate cyber-seamlessly. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? The super-cross-media process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to implement without depreciating our power to utilize. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! We will optimize the capability of web services to enhance. Think web-enabled. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Think social-network-based, fractal. Think backward-compatible. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revamped the concept of media sourcing. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling new systems? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to generate correctly. A company that can extend faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack relationships. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Without appropriate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? We will amplify our capacity to innovate without decrementing our power to enable. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will monetize the power of e-businesses to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? Without user interfaces, you will lack cyber-resource-constrained C2C. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-micro-killer. Without paradigms, you will lack bloatware metrics. Without adequate short-term, cross-platform transparent, reconfigurable robust power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. Think world-class, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless cyber-super-Total Quality Control and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for enterprise, short-term, C2C2B, wireless, user-defined, magnetic, mission-critical iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.