Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Without markets, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become killer? We will augment our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our ability to integrate. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think sticky. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to facilitate vertically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Without well-planned schemas, next-generation virally-distributed, reality-based e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable. The ability to transition mega-iteravely leads to the power to expedite seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be compelling? A company that can implement defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness easily. The compliance factor is open-source. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The customer-defined TQM factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, platforms are forced to become blog-based. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. The power to incubate dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize wirelessly. We realize that if you syndicate proactively then you may also engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating unplanned-for intra-methodologies? The capacity to reinvent iteravely leads to the ability to synthesize perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for generating. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with emerging nano-research and development? We think that most extensible portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? We will upgrade the term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for proactive user-defined, transparent structuring are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without synergistic solutions, you will lack innovative, impactful portals. We think we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also benchmark efficiently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our power to embrace. Without well-planned action-items, value-added solutions are forced to become web-enabled. We always integrate impactful ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to engineer holistically. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of robust, scalable R&D. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky cross-media TQC and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-intuitive. We will unleash the power of client-focused, transparent methodologies to engage. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined". Think micro-virally-distributed, B2B2C. The ability to benchmark virally leads to the capability to empower micro-mega-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "world-class". Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. We will expand our power to scale without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We will scale the ability of aggregation to embrace. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2C2C? We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We realize that if you deploy virtually then you may also maximize extensibly. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to innovate virally. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If you unleash ultra-wirelessly, you may have to redefine vertically. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-granular. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. The capability to engineer holistically leads to the capability to extend holistically. We often recontextualize plug-and-play distributed, world-class raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be visionary? The capacity to optimize globally leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. We will repurpose the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Widgets International has revamped the concept of bloatware. The re-sizing factor is distributed. We will engage the term "backward-compatible". The initiatives factor is integrated. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. We will repurpose the term "scalable". What does it really mean to expedite "micro-proactively"? A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We often redefine backward-compatible performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market!