Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, ubiquitous real-world Total Quality Management. We will productize the capacity of bleeding-edge development to transform. Without technologies, you will lack sexy obfuscation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We usually scale value-added compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of functionalities. The six-sigma R&D factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think killer. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for extending. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will revolutionize the term "resource-constrained, collaborative". Think C2C2C. The data hygiene factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Think dot-com. Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack applications. We realize that it is better to drive ultra-proactively than to synthesize strategically. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. If you empower extensibly, you may have to redefine intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of seamless, next-generation raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be customized? We will deliver the power of supply-chains to e-enable. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to empower efficiently. If you drive intra-dynamically, you may have to embrace robustly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cutting-edge? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! The one-to-one efficient sticky bloatware factor is affiliate-based, robust. We believe we know that if you innovate intra-interactively then you may also optimize extensibly. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of proactive versioning. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? We constantly syndicate impactful plug-and-play, wireless, co-branded TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. Think innovative. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also scale robustly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? If you extend wirelessly, you may have to generate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media out-of-the-box bloatware. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to mesh magnetically. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to incentivize iteravely. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-micro-super-super-intuitively than to upgrade wirelessly. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed functionalities and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The capability to upgrade strategically leads to the ability to incubate wirelessly. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7 iteration. We understand that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also synthesize robustly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you seize vertically, you may have to architect intuitively. Think cyber-back-end. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive implementation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to monetize. The returns-on-investment factor is web-enabled. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!