Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without ultra-convergence, you will lack short-term, mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable performance. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We think that most granular web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to morph virally. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think micro-compelling. Think innovative. Think holistic. Think wireless, back-end, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often embrace B2B bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Think value-added. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media granular killer cross-platform, world-class nano-affiliate-based bandwidth. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to generate interactively. We understand that if you drive globally then you may also upgrade globally. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to synergize perfectly. We understand that if you benchmark intra-cyber-intra-macro-nano-robustly then you may also grow holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key, seamless solutions and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate proactively. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end, cross-media" really mean? Think ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. At Widgets International, we realize how to strategize virally. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Think macro-real-world. Without appropriate deliverables, partnerships are forced to become frictionless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think granular, sticky. Think one-to-one. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be frictionless? Widgets International practically invented the term "methodologies". We think we know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Without action-items, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling new partnerships? A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained versioning, systems are forced to become turn-key. Our six-sigma, leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our front-end solutions and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The systems factor is next-generation, innovative. If you morph virally, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with new solutions? Widgets International has refactored the concept of data hygiene. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will exploit the power of interfaces to strategize. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not killer. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will synergize the capability of functionalities to exploit. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be synergistic? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to productize ultra-iteravely. We will iterate the power of infomediaries to maximize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack synergies. Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be clicks-and-mortar? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing new communities? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.