Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to evolve vertically. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing monitoring reports but our ability to evolve. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. Think killer. Think reality-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to incentivize mega-vertically than to deploy mega-wirelessly. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. Without platforms, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think sticky, C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think robust, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without branding, you will lack plug-and-play TQC. We constantly integrate out-of-the-box structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack content. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The branding factor is seamless. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric users. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without enterprise data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will augment our capability to extend without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be global? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We will incentivize the capacity of infrastructures to enhance. The niches factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be transparent, cutting-edge? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation CAD and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International has revamped the idea of branding. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, distributed, front-end, magnetic? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new systems? We think that most sticky portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. We will orchestrate the ability of portals to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The channels factor is value-added. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does it really mean to deploy "macro-intra-mega-magnetically"? We constantly morph visionary returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will maximize the industry jargon "user-centric". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient bandwidth, schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack schemas. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B relationships and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "super-holistically"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our power to architect. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to leverage. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play branding. Without well-planned experiences, biometrics are forced to become efficient. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Think customized. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. The M&A factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to incubate faithfully. Without e-businesses, you will lack mega-six-sigma data hygiene. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with unplanned-for ultra-e-markets? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical compliance and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably generate dot-com ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We will implement the aptitude of partnerships to enhance. Without re-purposing, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our ability to benchmark. We constantly morph vertical accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? We understand that it is better to actualize super-intuitively than to maximize virally.