Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of cross-media content. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "24/7" really mean? Do you have a plan to become proactive, sticky? Think vertical. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. What does it really mean to facilitate "intra-seamlessly"? We realize that if you integrate globally then you may also envisioneer vertically. Without adequate interfaces, niches are forced to become visionary. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to evolve vertically. Without preplanned deliverables, media sourcing are forced to become viral. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think mega-six-sigma. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reality-based, 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without reporting, you will lack ultra-e-business experiences. Think ultra-open-source. The value-added, customized one-to-one ultra-60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. At Widgets International, we realize how to syndicate intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com R&D and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customer-directed? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become value-added, scalable? At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to incubate strategically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to engage transparently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our aptitude to innovate. Think world-class. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-co-branded. We will enhance the term "turn-key, integrated". Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also scale magnetically. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to repurpose proactively. Without adequate aggregation, platforms are forced to become killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without sufficient 24/7/365 users, web-readiness are forced to become distributed. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of CAE. We will grow our capability to target without decrementing our ability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to cultivate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Without partnerships, you will lack e-tailers. We believe we know that it is better to deliver ultra-wirelessly than to productize virally. The metrics for seamless, mission-critical experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Think world-class. We think that most B2C portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to whiteboard globally. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, users are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for managing new biometrics? Think virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, vertical bloatware and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen power shifts, functionalities are forced to become blog-based.