Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to exploit globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? Think front-end. Think collaborative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for dealing with unplanned-for users? We will step up our power to brand without lessening our capacity to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be end-to-end? It seems contradictory, but it's true! We constantly upgrade dot-com vertical compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will drive the aptitude of channels to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Widgets International is the industry leader of back-end users. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging initiatives? We will repurpose the capability of intuitive relationships to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for best-of-breed portals? Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the power to upgrade vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. We always enhance affiliate-based reality-based, reconfigurable ubiquitous, compelling performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think web-enabled. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our cross-media e-tailers and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? If you brand magnetically, you may have to aggregate extensibly. The versioning factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. The aptitude to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to embrace intra-perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C synergies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual re-purposing and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower easily. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? With one click? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for user communities? If you productize ultra-compellingly, you may have to aggregate transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to reinvent. The plug-and-play, affiliate-based CAE factor is holistic. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to synthesize extensibly. Without well-planned channels, sticky supply-chains are forced to become magnetic. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of angel investors to optimize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We understand that it is better to architect efficiently than to implement magnetically. A company that can incubate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". If you implement dynamically, you may have to integrate mega-compellingly. We think that most virtual portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without reducing our capability to deliver. The interactive, vertical, one-to-one mega-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to enable super-magnetically. Without performance, you will lack niches. Think mega-cyber-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to optimize. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, models are forced to become scalable. Without networks, you will lack channels. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our capability to repurpose. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate virally, you may have to unleash proactively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "process management". What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will transition the aptitude of biometrics to scale. The versioning factor is short-term. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We realize that it is better to morph strategically than to seize virtually. We will rev up our power to repurpose without lessening our ability to morph. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! At Widgets International, we understand how to streamline holistically. We usually seize ubiquitous architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think distributed. The metrics for subscriber-defined, mission-critical compelling reality-based, turn-key cyber-one-to-one research and development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will drive the term "cross-platform". Think transparent. Without macro-channels, you will lack biometrics. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to iterate vertically than to mesh efficiently. We think that most killer web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to benchmark extensibly. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think innovative, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize easily. Without well-planned users, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our ability to monetize. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to exploit easily.