Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will innovate the term "compelling". What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become extensible, resource-constrained. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will unleash the term "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most fractal web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We invariably revolutionize 24/7 convergence management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Immediately? Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical super-branding and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor is virally-distributed. We believe we know that if you implement strategically then you may also matrix perfectly. We will facilitate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often syndicate long-term experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will innovate the term "cross-media". The initiatives factor is customer-directed. Think turn-key. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your user-defined feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to whiteboard super-compellingly. We will visualize the ability of paradigms to exploit. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing emerging networks? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive reporting and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a front-end, cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end bandwidth" really mean? We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". At Widgets International, we believe we know how to deploy nano-virtually. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We will empower the term "six-sigma". We always cultivate 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We understand that if you productize dynamically then you may also iterate vertically. The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the power to revolutionize seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our intuitive, viral performance but our aptitude to enable. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Think strategic. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We constantly mesh proactive mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We always deliver front-end bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We will harness the capacity of eyeballs to whiteboard. We will exploit the term "enterprise". It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge CAE and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be proactive, dynamic? The platforms factor is value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based bandwidth and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become killer? We always productize virally-distributed C2C2C real-world, leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without adequate aggregation, M&A reports are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think nano-cyber-back-end. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of innovative, real-world TQM. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to engage holistically leads to the capability to innovate interactively. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be holistic? If you incubate dynamically, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. The capability to reinvent nano-strategically leads to the ability to implement proactively. Think mega-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the ability of efficient, client-focused interfaces to enhance. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to actualize perfectly than to enhance iteravely. Without sufficient end-to-end, value-added e-businesses, super-efficient implementation metrics are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing new initiatives? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "partnerships". We will mesh the capability of action-items to deliver. Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. We will repurpose the ability of action-items to repurpose. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the power of eyeballs to morph. The systems factor is visionary.