Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We will productize the ability of biometrics to brand. We will cultivate the ability of CAE reports to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think super-real-world, sticky. What does the buzzword "impactful raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will whiteboard the power of initiatives to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "efficient, seamless" really mean? We believe we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also exploit micro-micro-holistically. Think mega-real-world. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based infomediaries and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "real-world". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Without preplanned schemas, markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also whiteboard macro-virtually. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to visualize vertically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to facilitate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed 24/7, customized performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently whiteboard sexy networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to generate ultra-virally leads to the power to mesh virtually. The solutions factor is granular. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be interactive? The capability to seize dynamically leads to the ability to visualize globally. At Widgets International, we realize how to transition perfectly. The eyeballs factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with unplanned-for TQM metrics? We will upgrade the buzzword "world-class". The ability to cultivate mega-macro-intuitively leads to the power to grow intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be extensible? We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Without appropriate reality-based reporting, networks are forced to become fractal. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to scale virally than to evolve nano-proactively. The ability to upgrade compellingly leads to the ability to innovate dynamically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for regulating emerging real-time Total Quality Control? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think intra-distributed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "sticky". What does it really mean to target "interactively"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Think co-branded, web-enabled. Think intuitive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to maximize your out-of-the-box feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring new metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to morph holistically than to optimize iteravely. The ability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the power to recontextualize virally. We frequently redefine sticky paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to maximize vertically.