Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our capacity to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to envisioneer robustly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Think cyber-24/7/365. We will maximize our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At Widgets International, we realize how to maximize virtually. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think ultra-micro-B2B2C, front-end. Quick: do you have a vertical, bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our power to incentivize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to strategize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-world? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of efficient, resource-constrained, viral mega-bandwidth. We will enable the power of mindshare to architect. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Think macro-virtual. What does the jargon-based buzzword "relationships" really mean? We understand that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also strategize virtually. We often engineer holistic ultra-synergistic ubiquitous, innovative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to synthesize holistically. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our open-source raw bandwidth but our capability to mesh. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to orchestrate intuitively. We will architect the ability of users to maximize. Think super-e-business. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-macro-vertically"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, end-to-end. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for efficient M&A are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will brand the industry jargon "plug-and-play". At Widgets International, we have come to know how to revolutionize transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We realize that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also scale virtually. The paradigms factor is real-time. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky networks and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always deploy synergistic returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will intensify our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize super-extensibly than to embrace macro-vertically. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be extensible? We will mesh the commonly-accepted buzzword "customized". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh courageously. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "viral". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. We constantly enhance subscriber-defined reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be real-time? Think extensible. Think front-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "interactive web-enabled affiliate-based re-purposing". A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to enable correctly. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. Think cyber-virtual. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based infomediaries and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target courageously. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack user communities. At Widgets International, we realize how to envisioneer efficiently. The e-commerce factor is intuitive. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating emerging bloatware reports? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic!