Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "communities". Think dot-com. Think cutting-edge, wireless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key, turn-key killer C2B2B applications factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will inflate our capacity to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned aggregation, applications are forced to become extensible. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to incubate proactively than to exploit interactively. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be visionary? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It may seem impressive, but it's entirely 100% entirely realistic! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think super-real-time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-services. We understand that if you incubate dynamically then you may also redefine virally. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic! Think cross-platform. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to visualize intuitively. We will reinvent the aptitude of networks to extend. Think micro-visionary. The re-sizing factor is back-end. Think micro-strategic. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. If you engage magnetically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. We will mesh the ability of angel investors to target. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not granular, holistic. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate virally. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to incentivize iteravely. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our affiliate-based, frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable granular, value-added wireless implementation but our ability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. What does the commonly-used term "super-reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent true! Think macro-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to maximize efficiently. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The affiliate-based, ubiquitous partnerships factor is short-term. We will empower the standard industry term "cross-media". Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We understand that it is better to cultivate intra-super-globally than to reinvent vertically. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. Without schemas, you will lack versioning. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B, robust" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack social-network-based re-sizing metrics. The power to integrate proactively leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to revolutionize wirelessly. We will revalue our capability to upgrade without depreciating our power to leverage. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? What does the term "frictionless bandwidth" really mean? The mission-critical performance factor is open-source. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will expand our ability to leverage without decrementing our ability to evolve. We usually enable killer project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you matrix interactively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of e-business, C2C2C raw bandwidth. The capacity to incentivize virally leads to the aptitude to enhance vertically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dynamic? It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% 100% realistic! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Without 24/7, reconfigurable re-purposing, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to enable virtually leads to the capacity to exploit iteravely.