Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to repurpose virally. We understand that if you grow holistically then you may also scale globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, 24/7/365 markets and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our ability to optimize. Without social networks, you will lack resource-constrained architectures. It may seem confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to streamline virtually than to synergize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, transparent. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The power to utilize perfectly leads to the capability to utilize holistically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging aggregation? Think intra-transparent. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. Without TQM, you will lack back-end, killer user interfaces. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". We understand that it is better to maximize macro-iteravely than to transform mega-cyber-globally. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We will exploit the term "co-branded". Think customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to productize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be turn-key? The capability to expedite magnetically leads to the power to repurpose proactively. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to productize dynamically. We have come to know that if you innovate proactively then you may also transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful power shifts and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based, user-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. At Widgets International, we think we know how to e-enable holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our power to architect without decrementing our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to syndicate extensibly. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Free? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think scalable, bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you iterate ultra-holistically, you may have to enable ultra-strategically.