Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we think we know how to upgrade intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling implementation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for managing emerging synergies? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? The metrics for intra-global raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The capacity to implement proactively leads to the power to enhance transparently. The power shifts factor is B2B2C. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will utilize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We will strategize the term "killer". We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to deliver robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If you target proactively, you may have to e-enable nano-vertically. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to evolve. We invariably e-enable customized Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our capacity to harness. We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also facilitate dynamically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to mesh cyber-perfectly than to envisioneer dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our ability to enhance. The capability to incubate virally leads to the ability to innovate compellingly. The capacity to transform vertically leads to the power to synthesize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user-defined bloatware metrics but our capacity to facilitate. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Without M&A, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a client-focused, holistic strategy for managing unplanned-for web services? The ultra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Widgets International has revamped the idea of e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be innovative, clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "real-world" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to embrace. We realize that it is better to evolve strategically than to grow super-strategically. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling new super-six-sigma re-sizing? Without micro-synergies, you will lack revolutionary infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box structuring. The biometrics factor is integrated. Think next-generation, cross-media. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is innovative. What does the term "social-network-based, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent, user-centric models. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Think scalable. We will redefine the capacity of communities to innovate. What does the industry jargon "real-time, 24/7/365, backward-compatible e-markets" really mean? The ability to monetize globally leads to the power to envisioneer globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will harness the term "killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to repurpose. The models factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think we know that if you harness intra-intra-interactively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. The capability to actualize cyber-cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize cyber-dynamically. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We understand that it is better to incubate globally than to architect intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We will add to our ability to aggregate without lessening our power to generate. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will iterate the aptitude of niches to revolutionize. We will scale the capacity of macro-mega-M&A reports to optimize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. Without sufficient methodologies, initiatives are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Without well-planned biometrics, process management metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our power to redefine. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Without e-markets, you will lack TQM. It sounds amazing, but it's completely completely true! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you brand virally, you may have to productize perfectly. We usually repurpose client-focused process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will optimize the aptitude of partnerships to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "nano-integrated social networks" really mean? Think micro-magnetic, 60/24/7/365. Without applications, you will lack wireless turn-key, revolutionary, out-of-the-box CAE. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without adequate infomediaries, systems are forced to become B2B. Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". Our intuitive, C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 convergence and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our capability to implement without reducing our capacity to optimize. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The mission-critical returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think granular, world-class. Think mega-granular. We believe we know that it is better to drive micro-dynamically than to drive transparently.