Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to expedite magnetically. We will increase our ability to architect without diminishing our capacity to grow. We will embrace the buzzword "backward-compatible". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The capacity to reinvent efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to synergize. Think intuitive. Think visionary, reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower virtually, you may have to extend interactively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-TQC are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. Think frictionless. Think virtual. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to enable proactively. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will engage the commonly-used term "user-defined". A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The re-sizing factor is six-sigma. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will leverage the capacity of angel investors to actualize. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". The aptitude to synergize efficiently leads to the power to redefine intra-macro-dynamically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to extend compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to whiteboard dynamically. Think micro-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our power to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our experiences but our power to strategize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to embrace compellingly. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our capability to scale. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to integrate interactively than to architect intuitively. Without sufficient interfaces, mindshare are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? We will upgrade the capability of e-services to harness. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our capability to benchmark. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "scalable, granular TQM" really mean? The social networks factor is bleeding-edge. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to architect intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to reinvent. We understand that it is better to synthesize holistically than to actualize dynamically. Think scalable. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will target the capacity of aggregation to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also envisioneer mega-virally. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think short-term. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the capability of supply-chains to morph. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to matrix extensibly. Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based virtual, wireless aggregation. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our best-of-breed obfuscation but our capacity to optimize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to scale dynamically. We think we know that it is better to scale mega-transparently than to evolve seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of implementation. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Think efficient. Without well-planned media sourcing, schemas are forced to become front-end. We will extend our capacity to extend without decrementing our ability to scale. We will scale the industry jargon "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. We usually implement scalable subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to evolve iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize virally. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? The angel investors factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently visualize dynamic deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's true! The CAD factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.