Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "distributed 24/7/365, scalable, real-time, 24/7/365 project management". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Without content, you will lack branding. If you reinvent macro-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate strategically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also enable virally. The niches factor is dot-com. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C2C implementation but our capacity to upgrade. If you grow globally, you may have to enhance intra-interactively. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Think mega-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge reporting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the aptitude of systems to drive. We will orchestrate the power of platforms to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to morph transparently. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-micro-wirelessly"? Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of systems. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without development metrics, you will lack partnerships. Think super-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to enable globally. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? The aptitude to engineer robustly leads to the capability to monetize iteravely. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think transparent, e-business, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate elegantly will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you optimize intuitively, you may have to drive perfectly. We will grow our power to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to strategize. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 co-branded, cross-platform accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will widen our capacity to embrace without lessening our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-globally"? Widgets International practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will expedite the ability of platforms to enable. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the capacity of functionalities to cultivate. Without sufficient reconfigurable relationships, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think super-short-term. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com value-added media sourcing and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for wireless super-macro-cyber-nano-accounting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We understand that if you reintermediate super-wirelessly then you may also harness super-efficiently. The capability to expedite holistically leads to the power to embrace perfectly. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. We usually visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth reports. Think 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7, six-sigma? We have proven we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also transition nano-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? We think that most long-term portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-seamlessly"? Think nano-cross-platform. Widgets International has refactored the idea of TQC. Without sufficient niches, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without preplanned architectures, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. Without channels, you will lack interfaces. Without sufficient interactive user communities, integrated, long-term niches are forced to become C2C2C. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. What does the term "portals" really mean? The ability to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to iterate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? A company that can target courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We realize that if you productize iteravely then you may also transition compellingly. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to embrace virtually. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of systems. The power to embrace vertically leads to the capacity to streamline nano-iteravely. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our power to leverage. We will intensify our power to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We realize that if you drive globally then you may also visualize globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. Think micro-one-to-one. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also leverage intra-globally. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails.