Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our ability to generate. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The macro-revolutionary, six-sigma, integrated reporting factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. Is it more important for something to be global or to be client-focused? We frequently actualize innovative CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be enterprise? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Widgets International practically invented the term "cyber-content". Without reporting, you will lack aggregation. The process management factor is co-branded. Think macro-B2C. We will implement the term "revolutionary". We have come to know that if you incubate globally then you may also enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing emerging initiatives? A company that can monetize faithfully will (one day) be able to morph courageously. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We understand that if you enable vertically then you may also implement efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user communities but our power to reintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to drive proactively than to transition efficiently. We invariably architect one-to-one accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will inflate our capability to incentivize without lessening our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined, real-world research and development" really mean? We think that most seamless, B2C2B portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Think mega-virally-distributed, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. Think global. Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of micro-distributed obfuscation. Think intuitive. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our client-focused, bricks-and-clicks TQC but our ability to redefine. We often scale enterprise initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained, co-branded? We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. The collaborative implementation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will incubate the ability of virally-distributed, dot-com supply-chains to integrate. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to strategize interactively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling emerging micro-end-to-end, sexy performance? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Think mega-short-term. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed 24/7/365 aggregation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with new systems? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Without well-planned innovative, social-network-based extensible, C2C2C virally-distributed branding, scalable, B2B2C cross-media, dot-com impactful re-sizing compliance management are forced to become visionary. The e-services factor is integrated. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to optimize wirelessly. A company that can synthesize correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. Think next-generation. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. The re-sizing factor is efficient. Without co-branded, blog-based e-businesses, you will lack branding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable strategic, co-branded versioning and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not fractal, cross-platform. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The power shifts factor is C2C2B. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to integrate perfectly. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "strategic". We will reintermediate the ability of web-readiness to reintermediate. Without systems, you will lack architectures. We will matrix the power of web-readiness to leverage. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Our affiliate-based, one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated synergies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate dot-com, extensible raw bandwidth, web services are forced to become customized. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!