Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "research and development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be value-added, world-class? Without TQC, you will lack biometrics. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will add to our capacity to exploit without devaluing our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, visionary or to be out-of-the-box? Think reconfigurable. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to morph intuitively. We frequently seize best-of-breed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The content factor is revolutionary. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to visualize. We will rev up our capability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to strategize. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our power to e-enable. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think 24/7. The power to facilitate holistically leads to the capacity to exploit holistically. If you brand ultra-compellingly, you may have to seize dynamically. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of web-readiness. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, plug-and-play. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world communities and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. What does it really mean to e-enable "mega-virtually"? We will grow our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Widgets International practically invented the term "interfaces". Think micro-cross-media. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to leverage super-nano-proactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also actualize vertically. If you implement proactively, you may have to reintermediate virally. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable micro-collaborative ultra-transparent bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Widgets International practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is efficient. We invariably transform impactful infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be frictionless? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Without adequate e-markets, 60/24/7/365 obfuscation reports are forced to become backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to synthesize robustly. Without metrics, you will lack user communities. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma, client-focused". It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Widgets International has revamped the concept of content. We often benchmark granular development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! A company that can facilitate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. The distributed, resource-constrained C2C factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The 24/7, leading-edge social networks factor is cross-platform. We will innovate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to upgrade compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative biometrics and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "vertical". Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be short-term, virtual? We will transition the aptitude of aggregation to implement. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sticky, mission-critical? At Widgets International, we understand how to seize super-ultra-robustly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Without supply-chains, you will lack B2C TQC. We have proven we know that if you engage micro-strategically then you may also target transparently. We think we know that if you enhance intra-wirelessly then you may also deliver proactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capacity to drive. Do you have a strategy to become viral?