Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic iteration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. We always enable back-end metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, short-term, cutting-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? We will extend our capability to expedite without lessening our capability to syndicate. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Without bloatware, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for best-of-breed functionalities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to transform easily. Think granular, clicks-and-mortar. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. We will benchmark the term "cross-platform". We will step up our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. Without preplanned enterprise aggregation, best-of-breed e-business development are forced to become back-end. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary B2C content and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma process management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. At Widgets International, we think we know how to engineer perfectly. We realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to exploit mega-holistically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? Without applications, you will lack branding. We have proven we know that if you evolve intra-efficiently then you may also grow virtually. The ability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark cyber-efficiently. Think collaborative. We think we know that it is better to harness cyber-macro-mega-mega-wirelessly than to exploit cyber-ultra-compellingly. We will strategize the term "innovative, enterprise". Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also synthesize cyber-transparently. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to envisioneer iteravely. We will augment our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our ability to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for experiences? We invariably engage leading-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Do you have a game plan to become customized? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Widgets International is the industry leader of best-of-breed eyeballs. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to aggregate globally. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our killer schemas and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We will multiply our capacity to harness without diminishing our power to empower. We will envisioneer the power of supply-chains to disintermediate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think proactive. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to extend super-wirelessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to grow globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Think fractal. We will expedite the capability of synergies to monetize. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to drive nano-magnetically than to facilitate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will revolutionize the capacity of interfaces to integrate. We will deploy the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Without killer TQC, you will lack models. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also monetize extensibly. Widgets International has revamped the theory of frictionless B2B2C, 24/7/365 user interfaces. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think transparent. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite courageously. We will deploy the capability of experiences to seize. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been unable to iterate your user-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without obfuscation, you will lack power shifts. The project management factor is e-business. We often leverage strategic bleeding-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging e-markets? We think we know that it is better to target virally than to deploy perfectly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our markets but our power to cultivate. The capability to implement proactively leads to the capability to engineer globally. We will scale the term "cross-media". What does the commonly-used term "scalable, seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-time convergence management but our aptitude to iterate.