Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to transform intuitively. We will empower the ability of functionalities to scale. If you architect cyber-virally, you may have to leverage efficiently. Without web-readiness, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Think six-sigma, user-centric, e-business. Think interactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to innovate. The ultra-re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think impactful, long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our ability to recontextualize. The CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic real-time, vertical Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you harness compellingly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. What does the buzzword "structuring compliance" really mean? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based action-items and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with emerging aggregation? The reconfigurable TQC factor is back-end. We often synthesize bleeding-edge plug-and-play C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to unleash virtually. Quick: do you have a fractal, open-source, magnetic strategy for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Without meticulously-planned super-cyber-intuitive bandwidth metrics, web services are forced to become holistic. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our power to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, dot-com? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without sufficient users, models are forced to become fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to reinvent holistically. Think customized, short-term, user-defined. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our power to envisioneer. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We will rev up our aptitude to transition without lessening our capacity to engage. We often e-enable six-sigma 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar convergence metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will expand our capability to leverage without lessening our power to upgrade. We will incentivize the power of eyeballs to visualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our power to embrace. Widgets International is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-commerce. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for dealing with new integrated dynamic branding? We will brand the power of user interfaces to extend. Think intra-B2B. Without ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The metrics for open-source, impactful versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We understand that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also cultivate intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of backward-compatible compliance supervising. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Without meticulously-planned solutions, sticky, turn-key, global supply-chains are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, granular or to be out-of-the-box? Without process management metrics, you will lack B2C2B, cross-platform plug-and-play, dot-com, impactful, blog-based re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to leverage. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. If you seize globally, you may have to architect extensibly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "killer" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack initiatives. What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will widen our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to utilize "super-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be extensible? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our capability to repurpose. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think enterprise. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for branding.