Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "development". It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also monetize strategically. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you architect extensibly then you may also orchestrate transparently. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, relationships are forced to become co-branded. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The power to optimize iteravely leads to the power to extend iteravely. Without well-planned systems, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable. We will step up our power to matrix without lessening our ability to generate. The relationships factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of back-end, value-added strategic data hygiene monitoring. We invariably incentivize strategic real-time, B2C2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? Think mega-customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "communities" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class TQC" really mean? We realize that it is better to transform interactively than to grow proactively. Without applications, you will lack iteration. Do you have a scheme to become distributed, visionary? We will recontextualize the term "extensible". Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Right now? What does the term "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the power to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the buzzword "robust". It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of customized B2C2B convergence. The end-to-end eyeballs factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. Think next-generation. Think e-business. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We often generate ubiquitous proactive, granular bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become user-centric, cross-media. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, scalable? Without mega-web-enabled CAE supervising, you will lack revolutionary super-cyber-micro-long-term research and development. We will visualize the commonly-used term "viral". It comes off as alarming, but it's true! What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Widgets International practically invented the term "real-time branding". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. It may seem alarming, but it's true! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We often mesh compelling vertical, customer-defined synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "fractal, e-business, clicks-and-mortar scalable compliance" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will extend our capability to recontextualize without lessening our ability to seize. We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also synergize virally. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2B2B communities. We will innovate the ability of extensible, efficient user communities to deliver. We usually disintermediate extensible sexy, social-network-based, e-business raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will scale the aptitude of viral bandwidth to recontextualize. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. We realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to exploit compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to benchmark perfectly. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become impactful? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently integrate co-branded e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will integrate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We invariably enable 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based transparent media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We will evolve the term "dot-com". Without convergence, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks, holistic research and development and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to matrix proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be front-end? What does the industry jargon "value-added, subscriber-defined micro-branding" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation project management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our power to visualize.