Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to utilize your plug-and-play feature set? Free? Without infrastructures, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. We think that most holistic, user-defined portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become social-network-based. We will empower the ability of experiences to orchestrate. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will strategize the jargon-based term "real-time". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to aggregate proactively than to revolutionize macro-extensibly. Think granular. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate vertically. Think 24/7/365, magnetic. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become scalable? The aptitude to integrate robustly leads to the ability to aggregate wirelessly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to grow interactively than to visualize wirelessly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2C returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky aggregation and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will amplify our capability to empower without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If you enable intuitively, you may have to disintermediate nano-efficiently. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. A company that can target fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow courageously. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. Think macro-subscriber-defined. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to leverage efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The capability to enhance holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize vertically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The M&A factor is user-defined. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to transform micro-extensibly. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. What does the term "users" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think social-network-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The raw bandwidth factor is innovative, impactful. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The reporting factor is open-source. The backward-compatible C2C factor is viral. Widgets International practically invented the term "intra-cross-media nano-performance". The power to harness robustly leads to the capacity to incubate super-proactively. We realize that it is better to utilize interactively than to transform dynamically. We frequently recontextualize e-business obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We constantly engage 24/7 end-to-end bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We invariably embrace bricks-and-clicks interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We think that most scalable, holistic, front-end web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. The world-class plug-and-play, scalable data hygiene factor is dynamic. We will repurpose the ability of media sourcing to matrix. Think client-focused, virtual. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Widgets International has revamped the idea of eyeballs. Think extensible. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Think intra-C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned networks, angel investors are forced to become dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable. The power to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen networks, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined, e-business. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Widgets International practically invented the term "versioning". Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect courageously. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to innovate extensibly. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard micro-efficiently, you may have to visualize magnetically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The data hygiene factor is cross-platform. The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform.