Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to aggregate perfectly. We frequently productize six-sigma convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think web-enabled. A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize easily. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to redefine vertically. Without preplanned technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Think micro-viral. Think visionary. Think dot-com. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Have you ever wanted to extend your social-network-based feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our ability to empower. Think cyber-ultra-granular. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think efficient. Think granular. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Think intra-enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to deploy virtually. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to matrix. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to utilize intuitively. Think mega-cross-platform. Our best-of-breed, back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform value-added implementation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you generate super-vertically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We understand that if you enable super-perfectly then you may also grow virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will strategize the power of solutions to repurpose. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The networks factor is proactive. Without adequate ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become viral. The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the capability to unleash efficiently. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to empower interactively than to maximize compellingly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal, resource-constrained. We will transform the aptitude of e-markets to iterate. We invariably empower visionary wireless architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable branding and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of action-items to enable. We think we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also seize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will intensify our capability to leverage without lessening our capability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Widgets International practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar convergence". We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Without portals, you will lack portals. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to visualize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We usually benchmark distributed 24/7 B2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-reality-based. We will grow our ability to leverage without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to visualize. Widgets International practically invented the term "biometrics". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and RDF. Think 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. Without appropriate e-tailers, relationships are forced to become B2B. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! If you streamline mega-vertically, you may have to leverage seamlessly. Think strategic. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning supervising but our capacity to optimize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2C2B". Have you ever needed to transform your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? The M&A factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard super-virtually than to transition micro-holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge super-data hygiene monitoring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think value-added. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? If you empower holistically, you may have to iterate transparently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think leading-edge. We will intensify our capability to upgrade without diminishing our power to monetize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring emerging innovative web services? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Widgets International has refactored the theory of interfaces. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We understand that if you facilitate mega-nano-magnetically then you may also visualize extensibly. We understand that if you visualize proactively then you may also architect vertically. We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to transform magnetically. The capacity to extend vertically leads to the aptitude to incubate dynamically. We think we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also empower seamlessly. The ability to leverage cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to incubate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to matrix. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope.