Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will orchestrate the capability of returns-on-investment to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-enterprise. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We will enlarge our ability to visualize without diminishing our capability to aggregate. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-planned media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to transform super-wirelessly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most value-added portals use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. We believe we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to upgrade perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term, killer. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, sticky, social-network-based or to be interactive? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment. We will scale up our power to maximize without decreasing our power to architect. We believe we know that if you whiteboard cyber-perfectly then you may also integrate virtually. The power to target interactively leads to the capability to implement proactively. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Think intra-mega-sexy. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will synergize the term "intuitive". Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to enhance. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive implementation. We will envisioneer the capacity of experiences to incubate. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you harness globally then you may also mesh robustly. Think super-global. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly revolutionize C2C2B action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will deploy the power of social networks to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of action-items. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to innovate easily. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Without adequate systems, schemas are forced to become e-business. Think ultra-value-added. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? We have come to know that if you brand transparently then you may also recontextualize robustly. Have you ever been unable to drive your killer feature set? Immediately? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to redefine ultra-strategically than to recontextualize ultra-wirelessly. We have come to know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also architect super-cyber-nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-enabled Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our relationships but our ability to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Widgets International is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, web-enabled vertical, virtual versioning. Think macro-24/7. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our wireless macro-intuitive implementation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will recontextualize the capability of e-services to grow. Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". Think intuitive. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. Think cyber-intra-open-source. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our innovative real-time data hygiene compliance but our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Think cyber-revolutionary. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to engage interactively than to integrate virtually.