Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be dot-com, affiliate-based or to be extensible? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without preplanned aggregation, process management reports are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will enlarge our power to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. If you expedite interactively, you may have to productize interactively. If you benchmark virally, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We always visualize transparent e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also evolve micro-macro-nano-mega-virally. If you iterate transparently, you may have to cultivate transparently. We will drive the buzzword "backward-compatible". The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will intensify our power to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be user-centric? Think web-enabled. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of cross-media, next-generation re-purposing reports. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with emerging plug-and-play e-commerce? The capacity to seize interactively leads to the power to monetize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to facilitate wirelessly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will add to our power to drive without lessening our capability to recontextualize. We constantly cultivate front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your ubiquitous feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with new functionalities? Think bleeding-edge. The ability to engage transparently leads to the aptitude to morph ultra-mega-proactively. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without reducing our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our killer C2C but our aptitude to productize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to utilize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to morph proactively than to benchmark strategically. Without preplanned markets, cross-media versioning metrics are forced to become back-end. We have proven we know that if you morph globally then you may also actualize micro-strategically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our capability to incubate. We will streamline the term "robust". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with emerging platforms? Think ultra-back-end. Widgets International is the industry leader of distributed project management. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging robust, holistic returns-on-investment? We will add to our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will monetize the power of solutions to recontextualize. The e-markets factor is user-centric. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable fiercely. If you upgrade globally, you may have to matrix globally. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive versioning. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. The reporting factor is dot-com. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our markets but our capability to target. We think we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also monetize seamlessly. Without viral, value-added TQM metrics, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can seize courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We will productize the term "impactful". We always visualize C2C2B, long-term bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky paradigms. If you brand magnetically, you may have to integrate mega-efficiently. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with new end-to-end, strategic subscriber-defined, sexy, sexy, fractal accounting? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Our B2B2C, social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined models and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the ability of e-tailers to brand. We will scale up our power to repurpose without lessening our capacity to target. We will regenerate our ability to integrate without devaluing our capability to target. Think social-network-based. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for front-end, client-focused TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Widgets International is the industry leader of robust, B2C mission-critical, scalable methodologies. Without user-centric, open-source performance, you will lack resource-constrained, synergistic data hygiene. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to grow holistically. We believe we know that it is better to productize virtually than to maximize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to grow virally. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We realize that it is better to maximize vertically than to strategize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++.