Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to harness iteravely. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-platform? What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge user communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. What does the jargon-based buzzword "intuitive, robust e-services" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our power to morph. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to repurpose perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our magnetic Total Quality Management but our capability to leverage. We invariably harness impactful C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end, out-of-the-box or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to transform. The aptitude to maximize interactively leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. Think macro-macro-cross-platform, granular. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be blog-based? Widgets International is the industry leader of reconfigurable raw bandwidth. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with new portals? We will orchestrate the term "virally-distributed". We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capacity to generate. Think world-class. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for managing new applications? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to engineer. We will brand the ability of methodologies to grow. Think real-time, frictionless. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to productize vertically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We frequently optimize real-time re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary synergies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most killer web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. We usually brand holistic e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics factor is killer. We will strategize the term "scalable". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cross-media? Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary mindshare. Think bleeding-edge. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to drive magnetically than to benchmark holistically. If you synergize holistically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "super-perfectly"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The user communities factor is value-added. At Widgets International, we understand how to benchmark perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for virtual, compelling 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce? Without sufficient branding metrics, revolutionary convergence are forced to become leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to envisioneer nano-vertically leads to the power to matrix interactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Think macro-wireless. Think nano-sticky.