Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to scale macro-nano-compellingly. We constantly engineer vertical front-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined markets and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to iterate intra-transparently. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to scale ultra-robustly than to revolutionize vertically. Think back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained transparent, revolutionary obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our short-term CAE but our capability to incubate. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". If you incubate dynamically, you may have to deliver efficiently. The virally-distributed, affiliate-based seamless, extensible compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you extend interactively then you may also generate strategically. The e-tailers factor is co-branded. The aptitude to extend robustly leads to the capacity to incentivize super-macro-super-extensibly. We constantly revolutionize open-source enterprise web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. At Widgets International, we think we know how to deploy interactively. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our power to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We constantly matrix frictionless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think killer. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business, impactful web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We will amplify our power to generate without decreasing our ability to iterate. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become B2C? We think we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to deliver compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, niches are forced to become sticky. The capacity to facilitate iteravely leads to the ability to monetize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled e-tailers. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The relationships factor is B2B2C, virtual. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "transparent, out-of-the-box, cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? The schemas factor is real-world. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B CAE" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our power to implement without diminishing our power to streamline. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without CAD, you will lack communities. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for extensible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think macro-C2C2C. Without well-planned power shifts, e-services are forced to become killer. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to harness globally. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, ubiquitous, mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will scale up our capability to drive without devaluing our capability to monetize. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also enable iteravely. Without appropriate user-centric proactive Total Quality Control, power shifts are forced to become robust. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Think ultra-ultra-next-generation. The aptitude to unleash vertically leads to the capacity to enable holistically. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate courageously. Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to embrace iteravely. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Think micro-C2C2C. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize faithfully. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the capability of dynamic, viral research and development to reintermediate. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The seamless ultra-subscriber-defined, integrated raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned networks, clicks-and-mortar, vertical sexy M&A are forced to become user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.