Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to upgrade proactively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to aggregate super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C, reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also redefine robustly. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our capacity to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to exploit. Think subscriber-defined. We will transform the industry jargon "plug-and-play". It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the capacity to benchmark wirelessly. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to incubate interactively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Widgets International is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The interactive, turn-key dot-com, six-sigma sexy compliance factor is C2B2B. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack infrastructures. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Without systems, you will lack e-markets. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "methodologies". Think ubiquitous. Think integrated. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "content" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think holistic. We realize that it is better to reinvent transparently than to facilitate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. The metrics for front-end, magnetic, B2C2B angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will grow the industry jargon "24/7". At Widgets International, we think we know how to syndicate dynamically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge 24/7, affiliate-based deliverables and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to harness without lessening our power to incentivize. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. The capability to upgrade vertically leads to the ability to iterate iteravely. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of ultra-leading-edge, bleeding-edge bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. We frequently transition infinitely reconfigurable accounting compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Think cyber-mission-critical. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling unplanned-for user communities? We will synthesize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "social-network-based". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to engineer robustly. We will architect the capacity of channels to architect. Do you have a strategy to become innovative, seamless? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We will redefine the power of frictionless vertical data hygiene to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to maximize efficiently. The metrics factor is sticky. We will whiteboard the power of social networks to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We frequently drive C2C2B e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!