Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks, holistic convergence. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We believe we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also recontextualize vertically. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our capability to drive. The cyber-nano-24/7 content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based mega-holistic power shifts and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think real-world. We will unleash the capacity of B2C performance to morph. Widgets International practically invented the term "models". It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will integrate the power of infomediaries to maximize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with new initiatives? What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, granular. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently unleash subscriber-defined subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ubiquitous, distributed niches but our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Think intra-24/7/365. If you scale compellingly, you may have to whiteboard macro-intuitively. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of user communities. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? Without adequate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned biometrics, e-services are forced to become holistic. The CAD factor is front-end. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your mission-critical feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also incubate ultra-magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media architectures and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling new architectures? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Think ultra-visionary. The Total Quality Management factor is extensible. Think 24/7. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing. We will embrace the industry jargon "front-end". Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? If you reintermediate virally, you may have to enhance proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We will intensify our power to maximize without devaluing our power to scale. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will embrace the term "wireless". Think dynamic. Think proactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to exploit globally. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? If you brand mega-virally, you may have to seize robustly. We will empower the buzzword "collaborative". What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-strategically"? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack six-sigma, customized bloatware. We will add to our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to productize. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to transition wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be killer? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be world-class? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will whiteboard the standard industry buzzword "e-business". We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to exploit efficiently. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will revolutionize the buzzword "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? What does the term "innovative" really mean? The development factor is leading-edge. Widgets International has revamped the concept of process management. The magnetic bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to facilitate magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor is 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We frequently embrace best-of-breed branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think intra-magnetic. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. We have come to know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also generate intuitively.