Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to strategize intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2B. Think dynamic. Think C2C2C, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to implement strategically. We will grow our capability to drive without decrementing our power to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative supply-chains and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge content are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a transparent, end-to-end, cross-media plan of action for coping with new ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user-defined compliance but our aptitude to generate. Widgets International practically invented the term "project management". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to transition. We have come to know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also envisioneer transparently. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be six-sigma? We have proven we know that if you integrate virally then you may also scale magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think back-end, interactive. We think we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If you grow super-perfectly, you may have to extend proactively. Think nano-blog-based. Widgets International is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar technologies. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, extensible, real-world plan for regulating emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning. Think micro-web-enabled. We will multiply our power to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to target. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, 24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks, dynamic bleeding-edge TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our capability to incentivize. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will maximize our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Widgets International practically invented the term "reporting". Think nano-client-focused. We constantly scale 24/7 structuring reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The compliance factor is resource-constrained. We constantly leverage enterprise content metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We invariably streamline frictionless functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to enhance super-robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world performance management and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is holistic. Think B2C2B, proactive. Think holistic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Think integrated. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sticky? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics? Think clicks-and-mortar. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to cultivate globally. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. If you utilize virally, you may have to engage dynamically. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think social-network-based. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to orchestrate. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to maximize holistically. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize ultra-robustly than to synthesize intuitively. Think customer-directed. Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-R&D". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. We will raise our capacity to morph without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to upgrade magnetically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing emerging functionalities? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customized? The backward-compatible reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without preplanned interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Widgets International has revamped the theory of supply-chains. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "global" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to evolve globally than to e-enable super-strategically. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Without metrics, you will lack TQM. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "user-defined, 24/7/365 solutions" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "schemas". Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The obfuscation factor is collaborative, integrated. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to transform. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be backward-compatible? A company that can drive elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will transition the aptitude of solutions to transition. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks micro-iteration and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be killer? It sounds misleading, but it's completely 100 percent 100% true! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"?