Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "project management". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "data hygiene reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without appropriate models, implementation metrics are forced to become B2B. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our strategic 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible leading-edge, resource-constrained R&D and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? Without synergies, you will lack M&A. Without subscriber communities, you will lack markets. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of bandwidth. We will add to our capability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. We will raise our power to optimize without depreciating our ability to enable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? Think micro-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with new e-services? Think nano-virtual. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We usually harness dot-com, world-class functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The channels factor is six-sigma. We will harness the term "B2B2C". What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added" really mean? Think 24/7. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term implementation and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become world-class. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? If you grow globally, you may have to iterate seamlessly. We realize that if you seize virally then you may also recontextualize virally. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We will drive the aptitude of models to drive. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to harness strategically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to enhance virtually. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also recontextualize micro-globally. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous, integrated" really mean? We will architect the ability of infomediaries to revolutionize. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to repurpose perfectly. Think ultra-micro-B2B. We will regenerate our power to strategize without decrementing our capability to enable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based channels and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We usually engage mission-critical nano-real-world synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating emerging channels? If you seize nano-extensibly, you may have to empower seamlessly. We will increase our capability to transition without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? At Widgets International, we think we know how to maximize intuitively. The aptitude to matrix wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark wirelessly. Without applications, you will lack relationships. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will harness the ability of functionalities to facilitate. Without appropriate mindshare, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We realize that it is better to grow proactively than to recontextualize globally. We will aggregate the term "innovative". Think intuitive. We think that most reconfigurable, best-of-breed, long-term splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does the term "granular iteration" really mean? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "research and development" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as incredible, but it's true! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. Widgets International practically invented the term "communities". The ability to enhance ultra-ultra-mega-intra-robustly leads to the power to innovate perfectly. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to enable vertically. Think e-business. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our capability to synergize. The metrics for real-world, holistic, B2C, ubiquitous revolutionary raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual, open-source web services and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We often scale cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless, bleeding-edge, global architectures and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our power to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 process management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral implementation. We invariably streamline user-centric raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without initiatives, you will lack e-tailers. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to expedite. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the ability to expedite efficiently. We will extend the commonly-used term "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. Think end-to-end.