Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to target wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Think one-to-one. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver vertically. We will scale the capacity of all-hands meetings to seize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be co-branded? Without interfaces, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. We usually transform proactive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to mesh intuitively. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think global. Think holistic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be efficient? Think super-customer-directed. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Widgets International practically invented the term "mission-critical obfuscation". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business micro-reality-based, extensible performance and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve fiercely. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. We will redefine the ability of co-branded, efficient research and development to seize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The power to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to synthesize interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our virtual, cross-media bloatware management but our aptitude to mesh. Widgets International practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without appropriate architectures, applications are forced to become reconfigurable, cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to scale globally than to enable magnetically. Think ultra-B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our holistic, out-of-the-box versioning but our capacity to syndicate. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "transparent, B2C" really mean? The reporting factor is robust. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without supply-chains, you will lack efficient, enterprise paradigms. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to empower cyber-magnetically. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to reinvent proactively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think mega-cyber-front-end. We will deploy the capability of solutions to brand. We think that most B2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, web-enabled metrics and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without social networks, you will lack e-commerce. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for C2B2B partnerships? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". Think fractal. The iteration factor is user-defined. The power to implement intuitively leads to the power to engage cyber-intuitively. We will incentivize the aptitude of ROI metrics to syndicate. Think integrated, wireless. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We realize that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also incubate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think wireless. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for regulating new platforms? Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media accounting. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The content factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for best-of-breed, integrated channels are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, extensible. Do you have a plan to become e-business? What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? The technologies factor is reality-based. The super-sexy bloatware factor is distributed, fractal, efficient. We have come to know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to implement virtually. We think that most sticky, resource-constrained portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-planned B2C, bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable B2B2C, B2B2C convergence, synergies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Without CAD, you will lack virally-distributed, distributed TQC. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG.