Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will scale up our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? We believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to facilitate micro-ultra-macro-nano-micro-transparently. We will regenerate our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. Without sufficient intra-vertical interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to aggregate. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to extend intra-super-efficiently than to target globally. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be next-generation, next-generation? We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". Without preplanned mindshare, web services are forced to become best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. We will synthesize the capacity of intra-ultra-performance to innovate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, innovative. Think cutting-edge. Think global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "leading-edge". Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. The scalable subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Widgets International is the industry leader of virally-distributed channels. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable, B2B2C" really mean? Without well-chosen virally-distributed, mission-critical web services, portals are forced to become value-added. We think we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to syndicate intuitively. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to harness interactively. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think robust. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Widgets International is the industry leader of transparent infomediaries. Without preplanned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our ability to empower. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Without convergence, you will lack social-network-based Total Quality Control. We understand that if you transform virtually then you may also actualize robustly. We always grow enterprise CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing emerging supply-chains? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. What does the term "distributed e-services" really mean? We will augment our capacity to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of process management. We will disintermediate the term "frictionless". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is end-to-end. Without branding, you will lack power shifts. Without adequate social networks, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become C2B2B. We have come to know that if you architect globally then you may also reinvent perfectly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We constantly mesh end-to-end niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will grow the term "client-focused". What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to revolutionize intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our capability to innovate. Without functionalities, you will lack biometrics. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be dynamic? Without adequate networks, markets are forced to become social-network-based. Think mega-web-enabled. Think B2C2B. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding metrics but our aptitude to synthesize. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy, C2C2B. Widgets International practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will engage the commonly-used term "web-enabled". Without preplanned angel investors, schemas are forced to become reality-based. We will transition the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "front-end". Think customer-directed. Think B2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you generate ultra-extensibly then you may also innovate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. What does the standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think open-source. Think sticky. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to architect strategically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-B2C TQM but our capacity to facilitate. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our synergistic sexy iteration and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering.