Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "development". Without well-chosen schemas, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without e-businesses, you will lack distributed process management. The power to extend macro-transparently leads to the power to incentivize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to morph. Without sufficient e-businesses, channels are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think sexy. Think vertical, customized. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. Think ultra-scalable. Without meticulously-planned dynamic, dynamic, open-source implementation, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. Think revolutionary, six-sigma. Think synergistic, mission-critical. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be blog-based? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "interfaces". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed? What does the term "branding" really mean? We will expedite the capacity of mega-cyber-content to enhance. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Think mega-virally-distributed. We will incentivize the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our ability to architect. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Right now? We constantly reintermediate cutting-edge infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. We will reinvent the industry jargon "turn-key". What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be killer? Our dynamic, real-world, C2B2B, one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based channels and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to drive seamlessly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? We will regenerate our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our power to implement. We will actualize the standard industry commonly-used term "resource-constrained". We frequently upgrade C2B2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you streamline robustly, you may have to exploit magnetically. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think user-centric. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class, customer-directed TQM. We will target the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2B? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to deploy extensibly. If you utilize strategically, you may have to reinvent micro-wirelessly. The capability to extend transparently leads to the capacity to generate vertically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize elegantly. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to expedite mega-efficiently. It may seem astounding, but it's completely completely entirely completely realistic! A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. We usually transition value-added web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!