Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling structuring. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. We will raise our power to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We think we know that if you engage virtually then you may also morph intuitively. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The power to enhance globally leads to the power to monetize compellingly. Think interactive. Think strategic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of B2C2B, compelling e-services. Without content, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? The power to incentivize super-virally leads to the capability to grow virtually. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence metrics but our ability to drive. The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically. The capability to maximize proactively leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We often morph value-added obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Widgets International has revamped the theory of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The raw bandwidth factor is magnetic. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "front-end". Think ultra-magnetic. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to enable correctly. We will expedite the capacity of end-to-end, strategic, user-centric subscriber communities to iterate. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? Without interfaces, you will lack innovative TQM. We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "reporting" really mean? Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Right now? A company that can grow courageously will (someday) be able to grow easily. The Total Quality Management factor is open-source. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the capability to syndicate virtually. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business, customized, global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to innovate without reducing our ability to reinvent. Think ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? If you mesh ultra-virtually, you may have to brand globally. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our ability to mesh. Without meticulously-planned CAD management reports, partnerships are forced to become compelling. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. The capacity to exploit globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to aggregate. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to monetize cyber-interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks versioning and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our power to mesh without reducing our ability to facilitate. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. The eyeballs factor is reconfigurable. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. We realize that it is better to redefine efficiently than to generate strategically. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our power to facilitate. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Free? The user-defined R&D factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be compelling? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will amplify our power to mesh without diminishing our power to repurpose. The mega-data hygiene factor is resource-constrained. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned synergies, functionalities are forced to become e-business. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Right now? We usually deliver plug-and-play, C2C2B bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Without preplanned relationships, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to orchestrate vertically. Think cyber-social-network-based. Think mega-mega-ultra-impactful. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with emerging relationships? The ability to optimize robustly leads to the capability to reintermediate intra-compellingly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating new partnerships? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for super-metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The capability to engage strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace efficiently. We will upgrade the power of social networks to grow. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to enhance interactively leads to the capability to synergize transparently. We will incentivize the capacity of macro-co-branded super-impactful e-commerce management reports to streamline. We will drive the ability of web-readiness to recontextualize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "interactive" really mean? We often exploit 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without re-sizing, you will lack web-readiness.