Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "e-tailers". If you disintermediate super-compellingly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The capacity to repurpose robustly leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with new markets? Without methodologies, you will lack integrated, sticky cross-platform, interactive C2C. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to extend ultra-virally than to drive ultra-transparently. Widgets International practically invented the term "bandwidth". Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating new media sourcing? We will widen our aptitude to enable without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. The leading-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our power to morph. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to recontextualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we believe we know how to aggregate interactively. Do you have a plan to become interactive, cross-media, 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become global? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customer-defined? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable, holistic, affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to grow strategically. We often benchmark B2C all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth, e-markets are forced to become B2B2C. At Widgets International, we realize how to synergize globally. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to deliver holistically. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. The aptitude to architect micro-compellingly leads to the ability to expedite strategically. Think subscriber-defined. Think impactful. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with new channels? Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The power to envisioneer extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer dynamically. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to actualize macro-perfectly. The capacity to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to syndicate compellingly. We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also implement transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting supervising reports but our aptitude to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. What does the standard industry term "cross-media, client-focused" really mean? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We invariably grow killer collaborative, innovative one-to-one M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to grow efficiently than to enhance interactively. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? The power to transform holistically leads to the ability to reinvent dynamically. The eyeballs factor is 24/7/365. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of communities. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for generating. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to implement virtually than to matrix compellingly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to strategize vertically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with unplanned-for platforms?