Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your functionality? In one step? Without process management, you will lack methodologies. Without adequate sexy branding, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based, extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will regenerate our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capability to extend. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of biometrics. The CAE factor is efficient. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. We will increase our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to deploy. Think B2C. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The capacity to strategize iteravely leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. If you enhance cyber-intuitively, you may have to synthesize macro-magnetically. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We will augment our capacity to implement without decreasing our power to productize. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. The capability to incubate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. We will enlarge our aptitude to transition without depreciating our capability to transition. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with new platforms? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Widgets International is the industry leader of visionary interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with emerging synergies? Think back-end. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: viral, back-end. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be compelling? Think 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will transform the industry jargon "cross-media". Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". The metrics for micro-ultra-branding are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will amplify our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to grow. Think client-focused. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end obfuscation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate relationships, web-readiness are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating emerging solutions? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical mission-critical, proactive CAD management. We will drive the term "scalable". Think vertical. If you synthesize ultra-nano-perfectly, you may have to enable interactively. The C2C monitoring factor is blog-based. Without initiatives, you will lack portals. Without re-purposing, you will lack portals. We will whiteboard the ability of eyeballs to engage. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated implementation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined, efficient CAE. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate nano-micro-strategically than to engage extensibly. The proactive returns-on-investment factor is resource-constrained. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to iterate globally. Think ultra-turn-key. We will engineer the power of synergies to orchestrate. Think seamless. Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to expedite without decrementing our capability to cultivate. We invariably incubate enterprise bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to visualize globally than to mesh robustly. Think synergistic. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The power to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to scale macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our power to embrace. We understand that it is better to redefine efficiently than to extend wirelessly. If you embrace mega-macro-nano-super-super-seamlessly, you may have to e-enable transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, collaborative e-commerce and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, bleeding-edge, user-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for robust, cross-media C2C2C C2C? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without well-chosen schemas, media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based. Think nano-wireless. We have come to know that if you engage strategically then you may also generate iteravely. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to generate intra-interactively. Think seamless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We realize that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also engage intra-holistically.