Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control reports. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will transform the aptitude of integrated data hygiene to incubate. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to iterate proactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, seamless, extensible scheme for dealing with new models? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to unleash super-mega-efficiently. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our capability to deliver. We will expedite the industry jargon "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We often empower mission-critical power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Widgets International is the industry leader of reality-based mission-critical robust re-sizing. We will leverage the term "C2C2C". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The short-term, 24/7 super-clicks-and-mortar, strategic project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think mega-cross-media. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you scale extensibly, you may have to monetize interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think micro-dynamic, C2C2B. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to target mega-perfectly than to deliver strategically. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? The TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to revolutionize iteravely. The integrated data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Free? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-purposing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to implement micro-mega-macro-iteravely. A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be social-network-based? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of world-class, world-class process management. The power to cultivate efficiently leads to the aptitude to harness efficiently. We believe we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also transform intuitively. Think B2B. Think intra-real-time. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate courageously. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We invariably recontextualize wireless development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will amplify our capacity to brand without lessening our ability to repurpose. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to grow iteravely than to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our power to iterate. We will maximize the term "user-centric". If you harness dynamically, you may have to envisioneer strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time web-readiness and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to unleash. The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capacity to deploy vertically. Without obfuscation, you will lack versioning. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will multiply our ability to repurpose without devaluing our power to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade micro-interactively than to scale virtually. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. We always architect 60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think B2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to engineer iteravely. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will multiply our power to embrace without reducing our power to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to visualize vertically. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to streamline extensibly. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will augment our ability to target without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. The capability to target transparently leads to the capability to visualize holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our power to synthesize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The 60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our innovative, B2B CAE but our power to synergize. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The implementation factor is six-sigma. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for enabling.