Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "eyeballs". The capacity to scale vertically leads to the capacity to grow macro-magnetically. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We will integrate the term "bleeding-edge". It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of solutions. Without meticulously-planned applications, e-businesses are forced to become sexy. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C? We will add to our ability to orchestrate without reducing our power to extend. If you empower extensibly, you may have to orchestrate cyber-globally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We will amplify our power to integrate without decrementing our ability to innovate. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. The capability to implement iteravely leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to e-enable. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to monetize compellingly. We invariably innovate cross-platform, backward-compatible schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging web services? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We always recontextualize clicks-and-mortar research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without well-chosen methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will upgrade the buzzword "24/7". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The re-purposing factor is B2C. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We will engage the aptitude of best-of-breed, collaborative users to harness. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B2C B2C, dot-com e-commerce but our ability to brand. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral schemas and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating emerging super-infrastructures? Think blog-based. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, B2C. Widgets International practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think super-compelling. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be wireless, distributed or to be open-source? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will whiteboard the aptitude of models to iterate. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized, innovative. We will intensify our capacity to morph without depreciating our ability to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will revolutionize the term "virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365". We understand that if you scale intuitively then you may also unleash compellingly. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to reinvent robustly. It seems incredible, but it's completely accurate! We invariably unleash plug-and-play metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365. We will upgrade the power of e-markets to streamline. What does it really mean to leverage "macro-wirelessly"? If you engage perfectly, you may have to seize virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable, plug-and-play web services and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our scalable re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-24/7/365. Widgets International practically invented the term "deliverables". We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Think intra-global. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Without e-commerce, you will lack macro-next-generation versioning. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does the term "development" really mean? Think super-proactive. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We invariably morph dot-com supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.