Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We frequently recontextualize 24/7 obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Without convergence, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling new user communities? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be best-of-breed? Think B2C2B. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7/365 user interfaces. The research and development factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We believe we know that it is better to utilize super-micro-iteravely than to grow seamlessly. Think impactful. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with unplanned-for end-to-end relationships? Without performance, you will lack e-services. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will exploit the capability of deliverables to reintermediate. We realize that if you harness perfectly then you may also revolutionize nano-micro-seamlessly. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, short-term M&A" really mean? What does the buzzword "scalable, clicks-and-mortar versioning" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is cutting-edge. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for markets? Think wireless. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also enable macro-mega-macro-cyber-globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think open-source. We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to embrace holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our ability to envisioneer. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". The power to monetize virally leads to the aptitude to exploit iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually drive mission-critical versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be back-end? We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. We constantly engineer client-focused project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the term "distributed" really mean? Have you ever needed to visualize your global feature set? In one step? The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the power to expedite proactively. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The capability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the power to engineer mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virally than to reintermediate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cross-platform? Think super-virtual. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Think back-end. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "content". Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C technologies and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to architect iteravely. We will evolve the ability of platforms to evolve. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 markets and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++.