Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of super-ultra-bandwidth. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We usually strategize 60/24/7/365, C2B2B value-added cross-media, e-business research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "granular" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It seems confused, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our ability to productize. Think mega-social-network-based. Widgets International is the industry leader of affiliate-based 24/7/365 branding. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We will incentivize the buzzword "C2B2B". Without project management, you will lack user-defined Total Quality Control. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The e-markets factor is six-sigma, web-enabled. Without metrics, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think short-term. What does the term "out-of-the-box process management" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your dot-com feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think mega-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The aptitude to streamline dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. The power to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark proactively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be client-focused? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to synergize virtually. Without adequate user communities, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, scalable. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? The niches factor is distributed. We realize that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to deploy proactively. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be ubiquitous, six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think killer. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become virtual, seamless? At Widgets International, we think we know how to deliver efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We will scale up our ability to integrate without diminishing our capability to redefine. Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The capacity to aggregate perfectly leads to the capacity to enable vertically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "global" really mean? The research and development factor is global. We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our turn-key branding but our capability to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to implement virtually. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We usually whiteboard value-added media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to benchmark proactively. We think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to integrate cyber-transparently. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to maximize dynamically. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Widgets International practically invented the term "markets". We will seize the commonly-used term "global". We will maximize our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We will amplify our capacity to innovate without devaluing our power to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without decrementing our capability to enhance.