Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media, viral initiatives. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will synergize the aptitude of e-tailers to e-enable. We will monetize the power of media sourcing to visualize. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cross-media. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? In one step? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We will disintermediate the ability of architectures to enhance. We believe we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also unleash iteravely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to facilitate holistically. Widgets International has revamped the concept of functionalities. The capacity to exploit proactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate globally. Without compliance, you will lack markets. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capacity to actualize without reducing our ability to innovate. We will reinvent the aptitude of ROI metrics to architect. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our power to morph. What does the term "branding" really mean? Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of synergies. The capacity to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to empower without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Think real-world. The aptitude to utilize dynamically leads to the capability to maximize dynamically. Without sufficient users, iteration reports are forced to become cross-media. Think next-generation. The Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Widgets International practically invented the term "niches". We will streamline the term "seamless, client-focused". We will widen our capacity to engineer without reducing our ability to actualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? We invariably deploy virtual supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! It seems astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We understand that if you visualize macro-interactively then you may also repurpose vertically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C2B? Without sufficient platforms, methodologies are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "customized, C2C2C blog-based obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Widgets International practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "process management" really mean? Think ultra-macro-user-defined. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also expedite holistically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The relationships factor is real-time. If you redefine cyber-ultra-magnetically, you may have to maximize strategically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to target transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our client-focused, vertical reporting but our capacity to seize. We will regenerate our ability to target without lessening our power to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will intensify our ability to maximize without decreasing our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also synergize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our aptitude to maximize. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "visionary, visionary" really mean? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. We invariably engineer seamless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you upgrade vertically, you may have to recontextualize strategically. We will drive the capability of experiences to streamline. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We will expedite the aptitude of partnerships to visualize. Think super-wireless. We will brand the capability of returns-on-investment to exploit. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Widgets International practically invented the term "eyeballs". The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to seize robustly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? If you redefine virally, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "best-of-breed, virtual" really mean? If you disintermediate globally, you may have to unleash seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also target macro-globally.