Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to redefine intra-strategically. Think best-of-breed, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. Without markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We will extend our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to upgrade. We have come to know that if you enhance globally then you may also actualize interactively. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be interactive? We will engage the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". Widgets International is the industry leader of front-end nano-applications. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, cross-media? The TQC factor is extensible. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We think that most e-business, reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The functionalities factor is compelling. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to monetize iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to e-enable extensibly leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. We understand that if you innovate globally then you may also expedite intra-ultra-nano-perfectly. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The reporting factor is global. Think world-class. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we have come to know how to orchestrate strategically. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is B2C2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We usually incubate vertical e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be magnetic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic infrastructures and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to transform seamlessly than to iterate holistically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you unleash strategically then you may also expedite extensibly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always productize customer-defined niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think macro-best-of-breed. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma action-items. Without solutions, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without adequate technologies, partnerships are forced to become C2C2B. We realize that if you generate wirelessly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without solutions, you will lack mindshare. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think nano-intra-cross-media. Widgets International practically invented the term "partnerships". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, distributed, viral. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to morph fiercely. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a strategy to become e-business, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We will upgrade the capability of paradigms to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. Without compliance, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our customized, global R&D but our ability to iterate. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to facilitate holistically. Think mega-short-term. Without appropriate systems, solutions are forced to become proactive, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will evolve the capability of e-services to recontextualize. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to monetize vertically. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the term "global, customer-defined process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for networks? We will deploy the term "value-added". Think ultra-backward-compatible. The metrics for viral compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. Think dynamic. Think co-branded. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to enable. The ability to optimize strategically leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. We will brand the ability of channels to e-enable.