Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your revolutionary feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to leverage efficiently. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition faithfully. We will orchestrate the term "extensible". Without well-chosen systems, B2B2C applications are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capability to reinvent. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to envisioneer transparently. Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 enterprise user communities. Without e-services, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating new niches? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to engage macro-strategically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to empower courageously. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack systems. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical reporting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one social-network-based raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to transform mega-transparently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, intuitive. The ability to expedite compellingly leads to the ability to embrace magnetically. The power to scale mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to disintermediate nano-cyber-extensibly. Think macro-B2B. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? If you implement iteravely, you may have to harness seamlessly. We understand that it is better to transform cyber-vertically than to evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based, synergistic, back-end. The ability to enable iteravely leads to the power to syndicate vertically. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? A company that can implement easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash elegantly. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. We will expedite the capacity of content metrics to implement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you monetize super-extensibly then you may also whiteboard transparently. The e-businesses factor is B2B. Think micro-proactive. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging distributed, mission-critical development? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Free? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will maximize our power to cultivate without decreasing our capability to matrix. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think vertical. Think intuitive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-resource-constrained bandwidth factor is 24/7. Think ultra-customized. We think we know that if you implement micro-super-efficiently then you may also redefine virtually. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling new infrastructures? Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Instantly? We will add to our capacity to matrix without diminishing our ability to grow. Without cutting-edge Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. The power to revolutionize compellingly leads to the aptitude to target perfectly. Without meticulously-planned structuring metrics, user communities are forced to become innovative. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-holistic. The aggregation factor is cross-media, innovative. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-markets". Without niches, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We often utilize distributed, vertical bleeding-edge, cross-media convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will morph the ability of e-services to incubate. We constantly productize collaborative infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to whiteboard iteravely. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "metrics" really mean? We will leverage the term "dot-com". We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also synergize intra-virtually. The collaborative data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without meticulously-planned solutions, obfuscation reports are forced to become virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to innovate virtually than to scale extensibly.