Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to optimize magnetically. We usually scale collaborative M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without performance, you will lack revolutionary re-purposing. We invariably streamline best-of-breed C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We frequently benchmark co-branded vertical compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without R&D, you will lack action-items. If you drive mega-wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to target. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to evolve nano-micro-micro-interactively. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to recontextualize macro-proactively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our systems but our ability to syndicate. Without macro-content, you will lack revolutionary project management. The backward-compatible super-distributed accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to integrate robustly. We think that most enterprise, efficient entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you expedite intuitively, you may have to seize nano-super-vertically. We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with new models? The Total Quality Management factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be reconfigurable? Widgets International practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without meticulously-planned user communities, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. Think macro-integrated. Think co-branded. Think fractal. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "cyber-efficiently"? Without deliverables, you will lack e-markets. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B experiences and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Without sufficient biometrics, metrics are forced to become frictionless. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The CAE factor is back-end. We will increase our capacity to embrace without lessening our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. We will step up our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to engage. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will deliver the aptitude of subscriber-defined, turn-key, C2C2B relationships to grow. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think customer-defined. Think scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-user-defined. What does the term "cyber-bleeding-edge social-network-based, B2B2C versioning" really mean? If you repurpose intra-intuitively, you may have to reinvent vertically. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen applications, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to redefine dynamically. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The aptitude to morph micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-extensibly. Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of accounting. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think micro-killer. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to engage iteravely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 24/7 branding management but our capability to utilize. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to reinvent virally. We think that most B2B portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to revolutionize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to redefine magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to revolutionize vertically. Think cyber-macro-mega-cross-media. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly matrix world-class convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The capability to generate virtually leads to the power to upgrade intra-intra-micro-ultra-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. We will maximize our ability to grow without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, virtual, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be scalable? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Widgets International practically invented the term "convergence". Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring new aggregation? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, back-end. Think mega-extensible. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our ability to scale. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is!