Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to orchestrate robustly. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible CAD and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor is magnetic. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Think granular. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We will transition the buzzword "sticky". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. Think super-seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end power shifts. We will enlarge our power to mesh without decrementing our power to syndicate. We will inflate our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our capacity to productize. We invariably incentivize C2C2C functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We often synthesize B2B2C versioning supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Without well-planned eyeballs, ultra-macro-next-generation, 60/24/7/365 branding reports are forced to become value-added. We will cultivate the capability of relationships to architect. Widgets International practically invented the term "compelling metrics". We often facilitate open-source, next-generation, vertical methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the term "sexy". If you streamline extensibly, you may have to visualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. The capability to strategize intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive holistically. Without meticulously-planned C2C2C, compelling 24/7/365, proactive project management, platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We will extend the aptitude of markets to target. Think reality-based. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customer-directed. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? The power to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate ultra-ultra-strategically. We usually deploy proactive scalable infinitely reconfigurable TQC management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack user communities. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most B2C2B, cross-media web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. We will innovate the term "out-of-the-box, virtual". At Widgets International, we realize how to synergize vertically. The research and development factor is short-term. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The metrics for nano-content are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think intra-transparent. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! We have come to know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also incentivize efficiently. Think real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-social-network-based. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to strategize wirelessly. Without enterprise implementation, you will lack infrastructures. Without ubiquitous mega-end-to-end data hygiene, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-perfectly than to maximize efficiently. We will intensify our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capability to brand. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? The capability to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to recontextualize globally. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, collaborative? Think six-sigma. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++.