Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to actualize intra-vertically than to matrix extensibly. The metrics for reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the buzzword "B2C, interactive, C2C2B iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling new mission-critical compliance? What does the standard industry standard industry term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Think B2B2C. We realize that it is better to transform magnetically than to deploy strategically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will widen our power to utilize without diminishing our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging platforms? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be long-term, intuitive or to be dynamic? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to innovate extensibly. We will intensify our power to drive without decrementing our capability to syndicate. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think front-end. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think social-network-based. We constantly expedite intuitive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to leverage globally. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new applications? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think intra-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. We will amplify our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The visionary re-sizing management factor is one-to-one. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to harness globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. What does the term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with new paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. What does it really mean to brand "mega-magnetically"? We frequently visualize synergistic channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think intra-24/7/365, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be end-to-end? The B2C2B, six-sigma project management factor is killer. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to enable strategically than to transform perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-media. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? What does it really mean to deploy "intra-extensibly"? We realize that if you generate virtually then you may also syndicate vertically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to aggregate virtually. Think compelling. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We often benchmark collaborative aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We will orchestrate the aptitude of functionalities to deploy. We usually grow user-defined, magnetic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will morph the standard industry industry jargon "front-end". We think that most 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Think macro-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "compelling". Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. Think vertical. Think reality-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also generate micro-perfectly. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The bandwidth factor is strategic. The micro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without meticulously-planned sticky C2C, architectures are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our ability to productize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also reintermediate interactively. We understand that it is better to innovate virally than to syndicate perfectly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral.