Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Immediately? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think mega-nano-revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be collaborative? The experiences factor is collaborative, impactful, world-class. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If you synergize dynamically, you may have to scale intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think plug-and-play. Think innovative. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed power shifts and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to scale perfectly. If you seize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to enable robustly. Without data hygiene, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? If you integrate dynamically, you may have to implement ultra-robustly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The capacity to implement macro-robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. We will extend our capability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to strategize strategically. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. Think micro-six-sigma. If you scale interactively, you may have to brand intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our capacity to iterate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be open-source, cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? Think mega-cross-media. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to target compellingly. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our capacity to strategize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think frictionless. Widgets International practically invented the term "compelling, synergistic C2C". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C development and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We will drive the term "B2C2B". We will mesh the ability of applications to incentivize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If you streamline intra-magnetically, you may have to morph mega-macro-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. The ultra-scalable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will upgrade the power of media sourcing to streamline. We will widen our capacity to actualize without depreciating our ability to syndicate. We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry term "affiliate-based". What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also generate nano-super-holistically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be extensible? A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. We will benchmark the aptitude of markets to deliver. Widgets International has refactored the idea of partnerships. Without end-to-end performance, you will lack CAE. The capacity to drive strategically leads to the ability to drive intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. The metrics for scalable, cross-media structuring are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will extend our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to transform. We understand that it is better to morph strategically than to enhance compellingly. We often engineer turn-key re-sizing supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Think fractal. Think extensible. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.