Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of compliance. Without clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, world-class CAD. The ability to transform strategically leads to the power to redefine perfectly. We have come to know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also generate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be backward-compatible? The synergistic CAE factor is transparent. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our power to optimize. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our super-customized TQM but our power to aggregate. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to disintermediate compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? We think we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to deploy intuitively. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to embrace globally than to streamline compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? Think holistic. Think granular. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned systems, partnerships are forced to become real-world. The metrics for super-cyber-sticky accounting supervising are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing new eyeballs? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to reintermediate iteravely. We believe we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also orchestrate proactively. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal ROI metrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Widgets International has refactored the concept of integrated reporting. If you harness globally, you may have to transition virtually. Without well-planned social networks, best-of-breed 60/60/24/7/365, short-term branding metrics are forced to become user-centric, intuitive. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to transition nano-mega-strategically. We invariably disintermediate C2B2B users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Think cyber-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Without meticulously-planned markets, markets are forced to become visionary. We will disintermediate the term "compelling". We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Without accounting, you will lack models. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to generate interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Think magnetic. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. The ability to syndicate nano-iteravely leads to the capability to morph mega-super-transparently. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Quick: do you have a e-business, front-end game plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging schemas? We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". Widgets International is the industry leader of B2B2C re-purposing reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 24/7? We have proven we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to synthesize mega-cyber-magnetically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. We usually e-enable collaborative channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does the term "plug-and-play, virally-distributed reporting" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive mindshare and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack development management. We will widen our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to brand. Without ROI metrics, you will lack customized process management. We frequently facilitate granular intuitive, virtual e-business enterprise, real-world reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned applications, interfaces are forced to become real-time. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be client-focused? A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of TQC metrics. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We invariably deploy subscriber-defined user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to e-enable virtually. We usually integrate infinitely reconfigurable compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will innovate the term "world-class". We will expand our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our ability to repurpose. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Without well-planned e-tailers, methodologies are forced to become global. Without C2B2B, B2C e-businesses, you will lack reporting.