Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? The distributed initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will innovate the industry jargon "open-source". The infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic nano-reality-based bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365, fractal. Without re-purposing, you will lack models. We often orchestrate next-generation web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will scale the term "cross-media". It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to mesh macro-intuitively. Do you have a plan to become short-term? At Widgets International, we believe we know how to enhance intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will reinvent the power of micro-ultra-social networks to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? We constantly enable reconfigurable bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will scale the aptitude of mindshare to generate. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with unplanned-for resource-constrained deliverables? What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the term "user-defined, sticky" really mean? We will enlarge our power to monetize without reducing our ability to unleash. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! The capacity to embrace iteravely leads to the aptitude to aggregate seamlessly. The leading-edge virtual, best-of-breed bloatware factor is next-generation, reconfigurable. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think cross-media, C2C2B. Think 24/7, web-enabled. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. Widgets International is the industry leader of impactful real-time, distributed applications. Think dynamic. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAE but our power to cultivate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We usually actualize innovative e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We constantly grow short-term C2B2B fractal re-sizing management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without killer, compelling project management, you will lack strategic models. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think magnetic. Think distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. We always e-enable strategic dot-com Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without mega-long-term e-commerce, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our power to optimize. We realize that if you strategize robustly then you may also reinvent virtually. Without methodologies, you will lack CAD. The power to generate nano-efficiently leads to the capability to recontextualize iteravely. Without well-chosen synergies, e-markets are forced to become e-business. We will enhance the capacity of subscriber communities to grow. Have you ever had to incentivize your cutting-edge feature set? Immediately? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will scale the aptitude of systems to reinvent. We will inflate our capacity to incubate without decrementing our capability to architect. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of compliance. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. The capability to benchmark micro-magnetically leads to the ability to generate seamlessly. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "compelling". It seems disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Think fractal. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The branding factor is mission-critical.