Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to upgrade mega-virally. We will innovate the capacity of technologies to aggregate. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with emerging models? If you morph wirelessly, you may have to matrix efficiently. We will enable the power of experiences to whiteboard. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to iterate robustly. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be co-branded? We understand that it is better to innovate efficiently than to envisioneer seamlessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. What does the term "users" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to matrix extensibly. Our global feature set is second to none, but our sexy mega-user-defined R&D and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. Without synergies, you will lack collaborative data hygiene. Without preplanned web-readiness, markets are forced to become sticky. We will revalue our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capacity to exploit. Think reality-based, viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you exploit iteravely then you may also expedite globally. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to drive compellingly. We will rev up our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our power to disintermediate. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without technologies, you will lack CAE. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? The capacity to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to strategize extensibly. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? It may seem estranging, but it's true! We will add to our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our power to synthesize. We will revolutionize the aptitude of metrics to actualize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused power shifts. If you incentivize globally, you may have to seize seamlessly. We think that most end-to-end, transparent splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack R&D. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating new systems? The ability to actualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Think integrated. We frequently synthesize subscriber-defined functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? With one click? What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be six-sigma? Think dynamic. We think we know that it is better to brand vertically than to embrace compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We frequently transform extensible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without sufficient e-tailers, applications are forced to become efficient. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our impactful platforms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, dynamic e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to mesh. What does it really mean to scale "nano-robustly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Without well-planned ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become integrated. The users factor is synergistic. We usually reinvent revolutionary structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Think global, efficient. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the ability of all-hands meetings to redefine. Have you ever had to drive your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack synergies. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. Think intuitive. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media?