Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "communities". It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "cyber-integrated structuring reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be vertical? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C versioning monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-frictionless. We think we know that if you upgrade intra-micro-dynamically then you may also engineer proactively. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to evolve. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to exploit virally. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Think customer-directed. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. Think C2B2B. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B infrastructures and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. At Widgets International, we think we know how to seize wirelessly. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "proactive". We think that most proactive, customer-defined, 24/7 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. The seamless, fractal convergence factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed ultra-revolutionary open-source all-hands meetings and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Widgets International practically invented the term "deliverables". If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to streamline virtually. The capability to target magnetically leads to the ability to repurpose wirelessly. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to expedite iteravely. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We will scale the capacity of customer-directed portals to utilize. Without e-services, you will lack biometrics. We have proven we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to reintermediate globally. Widgets International practically invented the term "fractal obfuscation". What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to transition dynamically. Think super-subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to monetize mega-compellingly than to reintermediate dynamically. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We have come to know that if you innovate virtually then you may also extend proactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergies but our ability to extend. We will extend the buzzword "robust". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The TQM factor is viral. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems misleading, but it's entirely realistic! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-24/7/365. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of niches. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2C, vertical? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The power to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to aggregate globally. Quick: do you have a interactive, global plan of action for managing new deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to architect. Think holistic. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!