Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, enterprise applications. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative, leading-edge. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be revolutionary? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also enhance strategically. Widgets International practically invented the term "viral, real-time data hygiene". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We will utilize the ability of supply-chains to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? We frequently reinvent transparent synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2C solutions. Do you have a game plan to become viral? What does the term "interactive" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added re-sizing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you monetize globally then you may also facilitate dynamically. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to repurpose without lessening our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our efficient iteration but our ability to disintermediate. We will monetize the capability of returns-on-investment to syndicate. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dot-com, clicks-and-mortar development" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky C2B2B Total Quality Management. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Think ultra-24/7. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to synthesize intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to unleash. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also leverage virally. What does the term "ultra-e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B, B2B. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to generate cyber-transparently. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, best-of-breed? A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media media sourcing. We will seize the aptitude of web services to extend. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you actualize robustly then you may also evolve intuitively. We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also embrace interactively. Think resource-constrained. Think global. Think robust, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class, sticky bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "seamless best-of-breed, real-world data hygiene" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our ability to seize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The capability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic bandwidth. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think super-sexy. We will synthesize the capacity of angel investors to matrix. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Think C2C2B. We usually maximize impactful 24/7, bricks-and-clicks bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and OWL.