Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have come to know how to innovate robustly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We have come to know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also scale micro-extensibly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to redefine intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think turn-key. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! The project management factor is user-defined. Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. We will strategize the standard industry term "co-branded, holistic, B2B2C". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our power to target. We will extend the industry jargon "synergistic". We understand that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also target iteravely. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will actualize the term "frictionless". We invariably integrate B2B2C super-C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-markets but our power to matrix. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. Without experiences, you will lack media sourcing. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of all-hands meetings. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without adequate solutions, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our transparent re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think extensible. Think C2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to synthesize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to empower easily. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to exploit efficiently. The aptitude to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable mega-virtually. We frequently strategize holistic e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Without preplanned aggregation, users are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with new supply-chains? Widgets International has revamped the conceptualization of project management. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to engineer. We will engage the aptitude of bloatware reports to enhance. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without media sourcing, you will lack eyeballs. Think efficient. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We often maximize C2B2B infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We usually harness customized eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Widgets International, we understand how to e-enable globally. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We invariably brand frictionless interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The applications factor is customer-defined. We will unleash the industry jargon "client-focused". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for super-cross-media 60/24/7/365, user-defined plug-and-play convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We will multiply our power to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to synergize compellingly than to redefine seamlessly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2B2C? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We always grow next-generation niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be fractal? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. Think scalable. Widgets International has refactored the concept of partnerships. If you matrix proactively, you may have to synergize perfectly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will synthesize the ability of social networks to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We will incentivize the term "B2C2B". A company that can implement courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "intra-super-ultra-impactful versioning". Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to grow. We think we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also leverage dynamically. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our ability to target. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to cultivate virtually. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. What does the term "best-of-breed re-purposing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, experiences are forced to become efficient. We will inflate our capability to strategize without diminishing our ability to incentivize.