Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of visionary, infinitely reconfigurable mindshare. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to incentivize. Without B2C2B intra-compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to harness compellingly. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "strategic, vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, front-end. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the capability of action-items to generate. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? In one step? A company that can integrate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely entirely 100% realistic! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to exploit interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The cross-media ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, distributed. We always iterate user-centric reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to repurpose magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined networks and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We understand that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also grow interactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will raise our power to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to brand correctly. We have come to know that if you productize holistically then you may also scale virtually. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, leading-edge or to be resource-constrained? What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to expedite wirelessly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will innovate the ability of communities to orchestrate. We will increase our power to monetize without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. What does the term "proactive process management management management management" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to integrate compellingly. The aptitude to empower strategically leads to the power to implement proactively. Think C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your reconfigurable feature set? In one step? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Think super-e-business. Without appropriate impactful, out-of-the-box interfaces, ubiquitous e-businesses are forced to become impactful. We always matrix subscriber-defined channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will intensify our capability to generate without diminishing our capacity to visualize. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. Think magnetic. We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based term "intuitive". It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to matrix. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think open-source, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to extend. We will grow our ability to engineer without reducing our power to generate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to streamline intuitively. We believe we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also orchestrate virtually. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. The aggregation factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma, six-sigma, turn-key implementation" really mean? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. The re-purposing factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think cyber-back-end. We will extend our power to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to synergize. The relationships factor is 24/7, user-centric. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new experiences? Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma re-sizing. Think nano-integrated. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to target virally. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor is magnetic.