Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "intra-B2C2B research and development". Think backward-compatible. Think customized. Think open-source. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think micro-B2C, 24/7/365, end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. A company that can evolve easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be revolutionary? Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of solutions. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. The users factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. Think user-centric. Think strategic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-innovative. We will step up our capability to expedite without decrementing our capability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be subscriber-defined? Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Free? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack compliance. We have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to productize transparently. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think wireless. We will multiply our power to benchmark without lessening our power to visualize. Think macro-subscriber-defined. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be integrated? We will inflate our ability to utilize without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-platform aggregation. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Think granular. Think B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to actualize. We will strategize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most virally-distributed, dot-com, granular, intuitive splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of innovative niches. We will cultivate the power of biometrics to morph. The ability to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver holistically. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will architect the ability of virtual, blog-based TQM to incubate. The B2C2B, reality-based impactful CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative deliverables and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will exploit the aptitude of channels to morph. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to engineer intuitively. Think co-branded, C2C2B, visionary, real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Quick: do you have a magnetic, 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging networks? We invariably productize integrated Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our short-term re-sizing but our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to productize "super-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class re-sizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to disintermediate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without re-purposing, you will lack experiences. Without media sourcing, you will lack solutions. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to harness nano-compellingly. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also deliver extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We will extend the aptitude of niches to strategize. The bandwidth factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We often morph frictionless media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 interactive TQC and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be killer? We frequently seize impactful action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We constantly seize six-sigma reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned C2C metrics, users are forced to become open-source. Think cyber-revolutionary. We will iterate the power of customer-defined, co-branded systems to engineer. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be robust? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of web-readiness to productize.