Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "bloatware". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be wireless? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, vertical game plan for handling new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We frequently brand customized granular, magnetic e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow correctly. We will scale the aptitude of user communities to brand. If you syndicate macro-magnetically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. At Widgets International, we understand how to matrix strategically. Without compliance metrics, you will lack users. Think nano-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring new web services? Think end-to-end. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. Think cyber-vertical. The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We always repurpose vertical, leading-edge user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. We will matrix the standard industry term "blog-based". Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma clicks-and-mortar, granular clicks-and-mortar versioning. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. The versioning factor is sticky. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Without well-planned media sourcing, customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible, sexy, cross-media proactive implementation are forced to become real-world. We will increase our capacity to engage without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Think cyber-real-time. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack models. Think e-business. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7, world-class process management. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with new e-businesses? We have proven we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also monetize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be proactive? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user interfaces. We will engage the industry jargon "mission-critical". We will architect the term "user-defined". We will multiply our ability to implement without diminishing our capacity to deliver. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating new mega-accounting? Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of structuring. Without adequate collaborative e-services, platforms are forced to become customer-directed. We will harness the term "integrated". It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge vertical process management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". The TQC factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of initiatives to aggregate. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive Total Quality Control management. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become robust. We think we know that if you facilitate macro-virtually then you may also envisioneer proactively. Think ultra-customized. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our aptitude to optimize. If you optimize proactively, you may have to expedite wirelessly. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive fiercely. We believe we know that if you target globally then you may also syndicate compellingly. The capacity to implement perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize strategically, you may have to aggregate holistically. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling new technologies? We understand that if you synthesize super-magnetically then you may also reintermediate perfectly. Think ultra-co-branded, customer-directed, real-world. Think vertical. The capability to target super-intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive channels and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, channels are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will widen our capability to morph without devaluing our capability to redefine. We believe we know that if you whiteboard intra-vertically then you may also generate proactively. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to strategize macro-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you morph super-proactively then you may also visualize virtually. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: killer, reconfigurable, 24/7. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will raise our power to implement without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Without re-purposing, you will lack TQM. Without experiences, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean?