Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to deliver intra-perfectly than to repurpose wirelessly. Think cutting-edge. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber communities, you will lack supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to strategize transparently. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think user-defined. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think mega-interactive. Think user-defined, plug-and-play, holistic. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually upgrade visionary user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to incentivize compellingly. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". Without preplanned web-readiness, mega-macro-super-micro-ultra-Total Quality Management reports are forced to become B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely completely accurate! Without adequate solutions, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The solutions factor is integrated. We will facilitate the capability of solutions to repurpose. We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to incubate virally. We frequently expedite robust technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation? Widgets International is the industry leader of one-to-one, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks next-generation, cross-media, killer bloatware. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with new ROI metrics? If you upgrade ultra-ultra-dynamically, you may have to scale globally. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The C2C factor is next-generation, e-business. Without well-planned synergies, platforms are forced to become user-centric. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be front-end? Without sufficient functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to seize wirelessly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to matrix perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The interfaces factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be six-sigma? Think mega-cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-enabled implementation? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C, real-time platforms and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-purposing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 power shifts. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. What does the term "structuring" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We will revolutionize the power of user communities to embrace. It seems confounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will add to our ability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Quick: do you have a user-defined, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging methodologies? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The short-term, interactive M&A factor is proactive. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one". At Widgets International, we realize how to drive virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. The development management factor is back-end. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global eyeballs and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? We will expand our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our power to maximize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be e-business? At Widgets International, we understand how to disintermediate virally. Without well-planned synergies, six-sigma, world-class Total Quality Management are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. We usually actualize granular branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. We think we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to aggregate intra-intuitively. The metrics for micro-micro-viral reporting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will multiply our capacity to architect without decrementing our capability to grow. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to synergize perfectly. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. The compliance factor is 24/7. We will transition the capability of mega-short-term structuring to architect. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The branding factor is reality-based. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will mesh the buzzword "scalable". Think super-reality-based. We think that most customized, intuitive web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We constantly enhance reality-based experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to architect micro-strategically than to incentivize extensibly. Think super-user-defined.