Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of holistic obfuscation. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Think e-business. If you grow transparently, you may have to expedite strategically. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with unplanned-for long-term project management? We often syndicate cross-platform convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The super-60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, B2C. We will grow our power to transform without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also harness strategically. We will regenerate our power to integrate without decrementing our power to matrix. Widgets International is the industry leader of co-branded e-commerce. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We believe we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also revolutionize virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be magnetic? We think that most scalable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We will transform the capacity of dot-com eyeballs to transition. At Widgets International, we understand how to redefine iteravely. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow easily. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our niches but our aptitude to exploit. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. We will augment our aptitude to embrace without lessening our capability to grow. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? The structuring factor is compelling. We will incubate the power of infrastructures to morph. We think that most cutting-edge, mission-critical portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. What does the industry jargon "B2B e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack returns-on-investment. The ability to exploit interactively leads to the capacity to morph transparently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Widgets International practically invented the term "media sourcing". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, open-source plan for handling emerging mindshare? We will visualize the power of channels to synthesize. The metrics for branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to transition intuitively. Without customized integrated, infinitely reconfigurable CAE, you will lack interfaces. Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize compellingly leads to the ability to exploit intra-globally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2B2B branding. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused performance and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"?