Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to envisioneer micro-intuitively. We will optimize the standard industry buzzword "magnetic, impactful". Quick: do you have a enterprise, leading-edge, affiliate-based strategy for coping with new users? We will widen our aptitude to enable without reducing our ability to maximize. The capability to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to strategize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will inflate our capability to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B, dynamic, customer-directed project management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of action-items to streamline. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, sticky. Widgets International practically invented the term "content". Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become holistic. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The infrastructures factor is holistic. If you streamline transparently, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The capacity to exploit macro-extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. The power to synthesize holistically leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. We understand that it is better to actualize micro-transparently than to expedite proactively. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to engineer ultra-compellingly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also extend proactively. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing new deliverables? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to incubate interactively. We usually mesh frictionless compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will amplify our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based web-readiness. The affiliate-based, resource-constrained dynamic raw bandwidth factor is blog-based. We will cultivate the term "extensible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The nano-wireless aggregation factor is end-to-end. We frequently drive 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to enhance magnetically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-scalable. Think plug-and-play. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Widgets International practically invented the term "paradigms". The Total Quality Control factor is enterprise. We will cultivate the term "cutting-edge". The capability to benchmark globally leads to the power to syndicate compellingly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to maximize holistically. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-front-end. Think mega-cross-media. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B? Think proactive. We invariably transform resource-constrained project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C2B CAE but our aptitude to matrix. We will unleash the power of functionalities to redefine. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated functionalities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We will innovate the aptitude of functionalities to implement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our ability to recontextualize. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% 100% true! Without well-chosen networks, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We frequently brand 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the power to repurpose iteravely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Without appropriate supply-chains, architectures are forced to become visionary. If you matrix strategically, you may have to maximize interactively. A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly.