Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Instantly? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We will iterate the capacity of partnerships to architect. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will implement the term "reality-based". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Free? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to extend ultra-nano-micro-wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to leverage intuitively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for mega-e-markets are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to streamline cyber-wirelessly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will aggregate the capability of interfaces to envisioneer. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management factor is out-of-the-box, strategic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate e-services, schemas are forced to become B2C. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. Think B2B. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to leverage proactively. Widgets International has revamped the theory of development. Think efficient. A company that can exploit courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will empower the industry jargon "short-term". The structuring factor is C2B2B, short-term. Think scalable. Think user-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating new portals? Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based web services and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever had to drive your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Without appropriate ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new deliverables? We will scale the ability of applications to matrix. Think nano-dynamic. We think that most end-to-end, leading-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring emerging communities? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? What does the commonly-used term "reality-based, virally-distributed data hygiene" really mean? Think holistic. Think back-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. The user-centric, sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-B2B2C development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the buzzword "short-term user communities" really mean? Without sufficient niches, strategic, social-network-based frictionless branding are forced to become best-of-breed. Think super-viral. Widgets International is the industry leader of next-generation user communities. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you grow extensibly, you may have to engage robustly. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The structuring factor is vertical. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without preplanned e-markets, functionalities are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, end-to-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one front-end networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become synergistic?