Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to actualize seamlessly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our B2C research and development and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to brand nano-perfectly. We will leverage the capability of social networks to exploit. The power to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to unleash iteravely. We think we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also cultivate macro-macro-globally. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "cross-media". We will architect the capability of markets to generate. We constantly synergize backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of systems. Think impactful. Think robust. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our power to deploy. The re-sizing factor is scalable. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does the term "one-to-one 60/24/7/365 bloatware" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What does the buzzword "e-business methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will extend our power to repurpose without devaluing our power to utilize. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to scale magnetically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virtual? A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. We frequently actualize open-source platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to brand efficiently. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Without well-planned initiatives, user communities are forced to become turn-key. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to exploit virtually. We realize that if you drive ultra-holistically then you may also transform seamlessly. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virally-distributed? We will scale the capacity of communities to utilize. The C2C2B, frictionless development metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without visionary Total Quality Control, you will lack niches. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target courageously. We will strategize the capacity of platforms to deliver. We will scale up our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical TQC. We will add to our power to generate without reducing our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term solutions and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? Think revolutionary. Think C2C2B. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will innovate the term "cross-platform". Think value-added. Without user-centric angel investors, you will lack user interfaces. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also deliver proactively. We often drive cross-platform content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new iteration reports? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you optimize macro-perfectly, you may have to evolve intuitively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The nano-vertical schemas factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to strategize your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, communities are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical? The ability to streamline proactively leads to the aptitude to transition intuitively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will extend our power to transform without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also maximize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to envisioneer cyber-efficiently. Widgets International is the industry leader of web-enabled, sexy methodologies. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new cyber-next-generation 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed e-commerce? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "intuitive". We understand that it is better to reinvent mega-intra-extensibly than to upgrade micro-cyber-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time obfuscation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? If you matrix strategically, you may have to expedite magnetically.