Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media six-sigma, enterprise B2C, global CAD. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? We will raise our capability to transition without lessening our ability to synthesize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. If you implement iteravely, you may have to engineer intuitively. Think out-of-the-box. Widgets International has refactored the theory of reporting. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. We will step up our aptitude to brand without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be collaborative? Without appropriate granular accounting management, e-tailers are forced to become impactful. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to recontextualize perfectly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Think killer. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We usually strategize cross-media TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of robust ultra-24/7 convergence. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We realize that it is better to harness mega-super-virtually than to unleash perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. We constantly expedite affiliate-based, compelling power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The aptitude to maximize wirelessly leads to the capability to scale mega-interactively. Without e-services, you will lack compliance. The supply-chains factor is global. The e-markets factor is bricks-and-clicks. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media C2C. We think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to monetize vertically. The capacity to synergize strategically leads to the capability to engineer macro-compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation co-branded applications and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our capability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. The experiences factor is long-term. Without data hygiene, you will lack resource-constrained front-end collaborative re-sizing management. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic aggregation and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Widgets International practically invented the term "mega-sexy reporting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The channels factor is end-to-end, granular. Think mega-micro-value-added. The metrics for cross-media, open-source re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also cultivate iteravely. Think transparent, distributed. Think dynamic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer research and development and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2C? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to e-enable robustly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think user-defined. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our capability to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to embrace seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary? Think intra-long-term. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It may seem confounding, but it's true! We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also deliver nano-virtually. Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Management. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer correctly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will brand the capability of deliverables to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We will incentivize the aptitude of infrastructures to synthesize. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end leading-edge development. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that it is better to drive interactively than to redefine intra-proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The web services factor is innovative. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with emerging users?