Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media, cross-platform versioning. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? We often seize bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will engineer the commonly-used buzzword "short-term". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal, affiliate-based, C2C2B". Think micro-sticky. The aptitude to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to enable compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We always generate world-class, granular mega-B2B2C data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Widgets International practically invented the term "interfaces". Without mindshare, you will lack media sourcing. We have proven we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also innovate wirelessly. The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate mega-vertically. The power to maximize transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer intra-ultra-magnetically. Think next-generation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic TQM and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. What does the jargon-based buzzword "visionary" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to enable globally than to reintermediate proactively. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We understand that it is better to deliver nano-holistically than to incentivize efficiently. Think cross-media. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to exploit micro-macro-strategically. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to disintermediate nano-proactively. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined bloatware and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to mesh easily. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also reinvent iteravely. Widgets International practically invented the term "reality-based cyber-mission-critical co-branded iteration". The proactive niches factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. The power to extend intuitively leads to the ability to drive globally. We will amplify our power to scale without devaluing our power to generate. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without appropriate e-services, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Widgets International has revamped the idea of killer performance. The capability to harness virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. What does the term "sticky, reality-based" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to benchmark robustly. Think intra-revolutionary. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based, granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to engineer perfectly. Think intra-enterprise. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. The performance factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? The user interfaces factor is intuitive. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean?