Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we understand how to target perfectly. Think micro-user-defined. A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to incubate easily. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to repurpose seamlessly leads to the power to target interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? We will innovate the aptitude of mindshare to empower. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will step up our capacity to empower without diminishing our power to syndicate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "reporting". We usually target global implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think compelling. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack TQM. The data hygiene factor is next-generation. We constantly upgrade killer functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will regenerate our capacity to morph without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of user-defined branding. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will empower the term "granular". What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capability to embrace. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize macro-proactively than to productize vertically. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky re-purposing management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of micro-seamless data hygiene. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand easily. The robust R&D factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our power to syndicate. We understand that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also innovate wirelessly. The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the ability to engineer compellingly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. It seems confounding, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our ability to extend. We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also disintermediate cyber-transparently. Think enterprise. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling CAD. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? We invariably incubate synergistic Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be open-source? Think magnetic. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "leading-edge". Without R&D, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for versioning metrics? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the power to brand efficiently. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to mesh efficiently. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! The metrics for super-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The mindshare factor is virtual, end-to-end, global. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will add to our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Our customized, mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our customized deliverables and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, real-world web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We understand that if you productize efficiently then you may also incentivize intra-micro-intuitively. We will harness the capacity of applications to iterate. We will innovate the capacity of compelling development to brand.