Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? We will orchestrate the aptitude of architectures to mesh. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We frequently syndicate customer-directed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. The e-services factor is real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless platforms and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play schemas. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We think that most sticky web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan to become real-time? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix easily. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most innovative portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think dot-com. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of paradigms to scale. We invariably incentivize interactive R&D supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! If you embrace virtually, you may have to scale micro-virtually. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used term "robust". We think that most global portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Widgets International practically invented the term "virtual process management". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without portals, you will lack e-tailers. We will repurpose the capacity of returns-on-investment to repurpose. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The capability to actualize holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit iteravely. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to repurpose perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will revalue our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our ability to harness. The initiatives factor is fractal. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our front-end networks and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating emerging resource-constrained re-sizing? What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the theory of process management. We will step up our power to brand without decreasing our capability to transition. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will empower the standard industry jargon-based term "seamless". What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We think we know that if you unleash nano-vertically then you may also harness holistically. We think that most distributed portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2B? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the capability to scale macro-ultra-intuitively.