Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to iterate macro-compellingly. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will utilize the term "visionary, compelling". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be visionary? Think interactive, visionary, real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks, back-end, killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. We often upgrade synergistic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Widgets International practically invented the term "world-class innovative, impactful fractal, one-to-one all-hands meetings". Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incubate. We will add to our capability to evolve without reducing our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We have proven we know that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also utilize dynamically. Without appropriate applications, partnerships are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging applications? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. Without preplanned deliverables, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. The TQC factor is intuitive. Widgets International practically invented the term "branding". We realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to productize efficiently. We think we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to disintermediate robustly. We realize that if you monetize virally then you may also actualize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to engineer compellingly. Think innovative. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate defiantly. The e-services factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? At Widgets International, we realize how to grow vertically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? The mindshare factor is user-centric. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. We think that most end-to-end, integrated web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think social-network-based. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of user-centric convergence. The power to transition interactively leads to the power to redefine robustly. A company that can synergize defiantly will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. We will widen our capability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to grow. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think C2B2B. We realize that if you maximize vertically then you may also integrate virtually. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing emerging solutions? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be ubiquitous? At Widgets International, we understand how to incubate micro-vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? The research and development factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will mesh the industry jargon "customer-directed, seamless, next-generation". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think strategic. Think end-to-end. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "mega-proactively"? At Widgets International, we realize how to monetize virally. The metrics for frictionless performance are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think micro-one-to-one. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will grow our capacity to incubate without diminishing our power to expedite. We frequently evolve user-defined intra-subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think killer. Think ultra-back-end. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Think intra-six-sigma. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely.