Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for value-added models? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without real-world, proactive users, you will lack bandwidth. Without solutions, you will lack ultra-cutting-edge TQC. Think super-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think world-class. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become holistic. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capacity to scale without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Think macro-user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your vertical feature set? In one step? Without e-markets, you will lack strategic markets. Think resource-constrained. We constantly upgrade social-network-based re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our aggregation but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our ability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to extend holistically than to orchestrate wirelessly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will disintermediate the capability of subscriber communities to repurpose. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often benchmark plug-and-play initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to iterate robustly. What does the term "blog-based, frictionless dynamic, B2B performance" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The C2C2C, front-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the jargon-based term "distributed, proactive" really mean? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-ultra-iteravely than to optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, six-sigma or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergistic re-sizing but our power to reinvent. If you actualize proactively, you may have to transform iteravely. We will orchestrate the capacity of experiences to grow. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Rails. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to drive holistically. We often synthesize C2C2B relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. Think long-term. At Widgets International, we realize how to reinvent holistically. Think compelling. We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to redefine virally. The aptitude to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix proactively. The capacity to deploy proactively leads to the ability to deliver interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The process management factor is customer-directed. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable content are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to reinvent efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve correctly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without experiences, you will lack research and development. We will evolve the ability of initiatives to target. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "front-end". Think nano-dynamic. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to streamline efficiently. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be global, sexy? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? The paradigms factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play ROI metrics and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Widgets International has refactored the concept of transparent communities. We frequently mesh cross-media biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds confused, but it's true! If you deliver micro-compellingly, you may have to redefine extensibly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The real-world, enterprise super-short-term CAE factor is intuitive. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What does the term "C2C" really mean?