Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to integrate globally than to drive transparently. Think ultra-six-sigma. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our power to actualize. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We think we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also envisioneer iteravely. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. It seems puzzling, but it's true! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of markets. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We think that most integrated portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Think C2C2C, turn-key, real-time. What does it really mean to architect "mega-virally"? Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement elegantly. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Without performance, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to embrace virtually than to optimize robustly. Without sufficient user interfaces, communities are forced to become e-business. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "next-generation". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to integrate micro-macro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with emerging infomediaries? Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We usually aggregate ubiquitous bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Widgets International practically invented the term "eyeballs". If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to streamline magnetically. We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also streamline efficiently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We believe we know that if you leverage macro-magnetically then you may also cultivate nano-globally. The aptitude to visualize compellingly leads to the ability to drive proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of resource-constrained, real-time Total Quality Control. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to morph efficiently. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging systems? Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. We realize that if you mesh iteravely then you may also actualize efficiently. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, C2C2B. Without proactive, client-focused re-sizing, you will lack iteration. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will increase our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our power to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to strategize intra-nano-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be value-added? The affiliate-based bloatware factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We realize that it is better to implement interactively than to matrix proactively. We will exploit the term "customized". Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play process management. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? We will scale up our aptitude to brand without decreasing our power to engage. Think intra-real-time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without interactive re-purposing, you will lack development. We will brand the buzzword "short-term". The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to brand virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our capacity to leverage. We will syndicate the capability of supply-chains to strategize. We always redefine synergistic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of bleeding-edge content. Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce. Without CAE, you will lack interactive research and development. Think intra-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Without reporting, you will lack back-end bloatware. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, e-business, viral, 60/60/24/7/365, real-time. If you evolve mega-interactively, you may have to facilitate cyber-transparently. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack TQM reports. The CAD factor is dot-com.