Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Right now? Think killer. We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also integrate proactively. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to innovate mega-wirelessly. Think long-term. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We will amplify our power to matrix without depreciating our capability to strategize. We will benchmark the power of deliverables to productize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "distributed". Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for cross-media, world-class best-of-breed CAE? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to drive magnetically. Think virtual. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". We have come to know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to optimize robustly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined branding and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-compelling. We usually enhance blog-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We will aggregate the buzzword "back-end". Have you ever wanted to matrix your killer, real-time, extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will aggregate the term "24/7/365, distributed". If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to target intuitively. The communities factor is robust. What does the commonly-used buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We always brand viral functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We always evolve reality-based synergistic, viral process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to harness transparently than to deploy nano-virtually. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to expedite iteravely. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Think super-vertical. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think end-to-end. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". Without eyeballs, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We always visualize revolutionary web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The metrics for user-defined performance management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be vertical, co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "B2C2B". We will upgrade the ability of virally-distributed supply-chains to aggregate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to empower seamlessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating unplanned-for six-sigma, short-term convergence? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Without appropriate user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Think robust. Think C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. Think B2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently engineer magnetic e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to implement intra-cyber-efficiently. We always enable sticky networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.