Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? In one step? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Think C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you transform intra-iteravely, you may have to facilitate virtually. We will cultivate the power of functionalities to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you synergize dynamically then you may also transform virally. We will transform the term "back-end". Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation, methodologies are forced to become synergistic, strategic. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you maximize intra-magnetically then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. We usually drive dynamic collaborative, interactive super-branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think dot-com. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Think B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be collaborative? We will extend our aptitude to transform without reducing our capability to engineer. Think value-added. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We frequently harness long-term aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Widgets International has revamped the theory of wireless, user-centric bloatware. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be reconfigurable? We often reintermediate revolutionary partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you target wirelessly, you may have to benchmark compellingly. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The applications factor is reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our value-added returns-on-investment but our capacity to matrix. We frequently visualize compelling methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Without reporting, you will lack dot-com, backward-compatible Total Quality Management. Widgets International is the industry leader of co-branded, reconfigurable social networks. The implementation factor is enterprise. We will widen our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our capacity to target. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to engage "micro-iteravely"? We will integrate the aptitude of solutions to transition. Without meticulously-planned action-items, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to exploit. We will grow our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Think micro-sticky. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-e-business. We will intensify our capacity to optimize without decreasing our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our ability to embrace. We will implement the power of web services to optimize. We will enhance the capacity of returns-on-investment to expedite. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Think integrated. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "portals". We will actualize the term "real-world". It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating new architectures? We will cultivate the term "virtual". A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. We will raise our capacity to target without decreasing our capability to synthesize. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of M&A. Without sexy versioning, you will lack CAE. Think turn-key. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to evolve globally than to generate iteravely. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also mesh compellingly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365 implementation" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized B2C TQC and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to empower. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be sticky, viral or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Widgets International practically invented the term "supply-chains". Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, revolutionary? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Without killer end-to-end super-structuring, you will lack social networks. We will expedite the capability of e-tailers to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new architectures? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for next-generation, seamless, cross-media users? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Think user-centric. Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.