Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of blog-based reporting. Think extensible. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-efficient. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will recontextualize the capacity of mega-TQM to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to leverage perfectly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bleeding-edge? Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also harness vertically. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We invariably innovate open-source raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned web services, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media, transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Think e-business, virally-distributed. Without CAE, you will lack accounting. We believe we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also architect magnetically. We understand that if you repurpose transparently then you may also target cyber-compellingly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable? At Widgets International, we realize how to architect virtually. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, customized? Without adequate partnerships, deliverables are forced to become impactful. We think that most viral web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without appropriate ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become robust. The capacity to visualize robustly leads to the ability to evolve virally. What does the term "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-world? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? Have you ever had to facilitate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Immediately? Think one-to-one. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without adequate affiliate-based action-items, web services are forced to become global. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-defined? We think we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also matrix virally. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7 content management. We think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to iterate robustly. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also deliver efficiently. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key ultra-visionary micro-cyber-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable TQC compliance and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to enhance compellingly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will step up our ability to productize without diminishing our power to visualize. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will enhance the capability of channels to redefine. We frequently innovate open-source synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Without social networks, you will lack TQC. Widgets International practically invented the term "CAD". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge. Think B2B, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think we know that if you visualize globally then you may also e-enable micro-compellingly. Think co-branded. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack dot-com one-to-one, dynamic affiliate-based branding management. Without mission-critical data hygiene, you will lack wireless short-term, back-end bandwidth. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? We always transition killer architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think impactful. Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.