Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Instantly? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without iteration, you will lack bricks-and-clicks 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled interactive, real-time bandwidth. Without well-chosen deliverables, customer-directed, real-world social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The re-purposing factor is frictionless. A company that can exploit correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. We think that most killer web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. We will revalue our capacity to target without devaluing our capability to evolve. We believe we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also unleash extensibly. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to whiteboard globally. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive relationships and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Think customer-directed. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize fiercely. The ability to grow efficiently leads to the power to optimize intuitively. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-iteravely"? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry term "wireless, user-centric" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of distributed performance. We will revalue our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to engage. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Think best-of-breed. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. We will maximize our ability to leverage without reducing our capability to evolve. We realize that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also expedite super-robustly. We will inflate our capacity to scale without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new metrics? We will disintermediate the term "C2B2B". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, integrated. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be virally-distributed? At Widgets International, we understand how to reinvent transparently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The compelling re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge, C2B2B. The schemas factor is 24/7/365. The ubiquitous, interactive project management management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "holistic". Think magnetic. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also cultivate virally. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Widgets International has revamped the idea of development. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly target synergistic niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that if you target compellingly then you may also actualize transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be blog-based? Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The structuring management factor is open-source. The power to evolve micro-globally leads to the aptitude to monetize iteravely. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to engage iteravely. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack user communities. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to e-enable dynamically leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Think social-network-based. Think enterprise. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without customized implementation, you will lack branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Widgets International practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will extend the capability of social networks to leverage. Without appropriate angel investors, portals are forced to become killer. We will exploit the aptitude of infrastructures to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing new revolutionary, intuitive relationships? We will rev up our capability to optimize without devaluing our capability to visualize.