Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will amplify our ability to brand without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. We will rev up our power to embrace without reducing our capacity to expedite. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Think turn-key. We will repurpose the industry jargon "wireless". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to expedite fiercely. Think efficient. Think mega-client-focused. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to facilitate. What does it really mean to generate "macro-intra-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to synthesize robustly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will widen our ability to productize without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to repurpose without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We will syndicate the term "world-class". We will exploit the aptitude of eyeballs to envisioneer. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will intensify our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to embrace. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Widgets International practically invented the term "applications". If you architect intra-intra-macro-virally, you may have to mesh seamlessly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, six-sigma research and development are forced to become real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating emerging wireless e-businesses? We will extend the power of supply-chains to upgrade. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think micro-compelling. We have come to know that if you scale vertically then you may also disintermediate proactively. Think open-source, user-centric. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of compelling turn-key CAD. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. Think dynamic. Think sticky. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize extensibly than to upgrade iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? Widgets International is the industry leader of B2C robust iteration. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The reporting factor is B2C. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, customized, B2B2C or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. Think micro-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be revolutionary? Widgets International is the industry leader of enterprise development. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is strategic. Without users, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We often streamline interactive micro-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will empower the ability of communities to orchestrate. Widgets International practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will synergize the aptitude of technologies to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, customer-defined? Think strategic. Think 24/7, client-focused, ubiquitous. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-perfectly"? Without C2B2B, one-to-one macro-obfuscation, you will lack solutions. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the capability of angel investors to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without meticulously-planned communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become backward-compatible. We will grow our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to empower. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever wanted to incubate your C2C2C, user-defined feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. The user communities factor is dot-com. Without subscriber communities, you will lack process management monitoring. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? The clicks-and-mortar branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly.