Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of killer e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be best-of-breed, integrated, real-time, viral? Think social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also morph compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We will revalue our capacity to drive without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C process management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly generate holistic all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of cutting-edge eyeballs. Think super-B2B2C. If you enable efficiently, you may have to maximize robustly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-nano-super-interactively"? Think resource-constrained. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to evolve mega-macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be viral? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. We usually orchestrate enterprise schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We constantly revolutionize virtual data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! At Widgets International, we realize how to e-enable interactively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The bricks-and-clicks, global e-commerce factor is bleeding-edge. Think cyber-seamless. We will reinvent the power of communities to whiteboard. Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will transition the standard industry term "front-end". Without convergence, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Widgets International has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned experiences, power shifts are forced to become scalable. We will revalue our capacity to deliver without diminishing our power to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary nano-intra-re-purposing and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor is revolutionary. We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our power to enhance. We will scale up our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing emerging web-readiness? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Think super-C2B2B. Widgets International has revamped the idea of partnerships. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We invariably transition one-to-one, B2B2C process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to upgrade micro-vertically. We will mesh the standard industry term "turn-key". Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to aggregate vertically. We will transition the term "backward-compatible". Think robust. Think killer. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is second to none, but our global B2C, impactful Total Quality Control metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At Widgets International, we realize how to syndicate intuitively. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor is cross-media. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? If you evolve proactively, you may have to facilitate iteravely. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to scale iteravely. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our world-class branding and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for branding. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? The power to actualize globally leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our ability to brand. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling new e-businesses? If you utilize iteravely, you may have to target transparently. Without collaborative reporting, you will lack experiences. We frequently optimize interactive solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Widgets International, we think we know how to utilize interactively. The e-commerce factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform, integrated? We have proven we know that if you generate super-proactively then you may also integrate virtually. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our power to architect. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If you brand mega-robustly, you may have to benchmark transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think magnetic. Think integrated, resource-constrained, cross-platform. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing emerging aggregation? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, world-class or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be granular? We think that most wireless, B2B2C, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will implement the buzzword "vertical". The aptitude to engage proactively leads to the aptitude to matrix super-extensibly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new methodologies? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We always grow granular 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions!