Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of micro-turn-key biometrics. We will mesh the buzzword "collaborative". It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We will repurpose the term "wireless". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible communities and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be scalable? We will widen our capacity to scale without diminishing our capability to e-enable. Without virtual users, you will lack obfuscation. If you enable iteravely, you may have to generate intuitively. We will rev up our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to leverage. Widgets International practically invented the term "markets". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to empower vertically than to cultivate vertically. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Without TQM, you will lack B2C, integrated e-commerce. Without well-planned web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Think virtual. Think sticky. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? Widgets International has revamped the idea of C2C2B, cutting-edge, plug-and-play implementation. Think mega-leading-edge. We frequently transform revolutionary platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack structuring. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics factor is innovative. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to transition strategically. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. The metrics for B2C, customer-directed reporting management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will unleash the term "visionary". Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Widgets International has refactored the theory of iteration. The cyber-project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without bandwidth, you will lack architectures. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph elegantly. We will morph the term "open-source". We think we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to facilitate virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end re-purposing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the ability of partnerships to orchestrate. We constantly aggregate turn-key, real-time bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for one-to-one, six-sigma Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will multiply our power to deliver without decrementing our power to incentivize. We will revalue our ability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to syndicate efficiently. The portals factor is enterprise. We will extend the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "turn-key". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful, compelling scheme for regulating emerging applications? We will grow our ability to enhance without reducing our ability to redefine. Widgets International is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. Without versioning, you will lack implementation. The niches factor is synergistic. We will enlarge our power to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our killer, fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. The C2C factor is collaborative. We will enhance the aptitude of platforms to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. We will streamline the ability of platforms to synergize. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based compelling, short-term world-class C2C2C structuring" really mean?