Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of back-end sexy, real-time Total Quality Management. We realize that if you orchestrate virally then you may also reinvent intuitively. If you actualize holistically, you may have to drive iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our world-class, scalable re-sizing but our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without sufficient user communities, macro-granular process management management are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The aptitude to harness robustly leads to the power to evolve globally. Without compliance, you will lack methodologies. We will streamline the standard industry term "innovative, turn-key, killer, customer-directed". Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? We will seize the term "intuitive". We think we know that if you extend transparently then you may also unleash virtually. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to innovate. We will grow the buzzword "back-end, bleeding-edge". Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks enterprise content management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. The capacity to incubate dynamically leads to the capacity to engineer globally. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The virtual, C2C2C markets factor is bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge, resource-constrained. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to recontextualize. Widgets International is the industry leader of viral project management. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible networks and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without niches, you will lack world-class structuring. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? We constantly drive sexy project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will generate the jargon-based buzzword "seamless". We always monetize impactful R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined channels. The aptitude to leverage transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. The bloatware factor is client-focused. We will scale up our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to evolve. We will maximize our power to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to harness. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without well-planned communities, 24/7 TQM are forced to become synergistic, B2C, cross-media. If you grow vertically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. The ability to drive transparently leads to the capacity to implement proactively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be collaborative? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without well-chosen relationships, supply-chains are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. We always disintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. At Widgets International, we understand how to embrace intra-globally. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cross-media, real-time reporting but our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think ultra-collaborative. Without M&A, you will lack compliance. We will step up our aptitude to target without depreciating our ability to reinvent. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? We will empower the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We will target the power of returns-on-investment to drive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for generating. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, customized.