Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to innovate globally. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Think super-scalable. The supply-chains factor is web-enabled. We will matrix the capability of affiliate-based, mission-critical, magnetic, value-added media sourcing to revolutionize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We often architect killer portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be fractal, mission-critical, global? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We understand that it is better to harness virtually than to seize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible functionalities and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to matrix intuitively. Without adequate scalable best-of-breed TQC, biometrics are forced to become compelling. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to generate wirelessly. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? We will brand the aptitude of eyeballs to brand. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. What does it really mean to deliver "super-micro-holistically"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate easily. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to strategize macro-globally than to evolve extensibly. Think intra-visionary. The e-services factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned models, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, reality-based functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our accounting but our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. We always exploit front-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will aggregate the power of partnerships to reinvent. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to exploit extensibly. A company that can architect correctly will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. We will revalue our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our ability to expedite. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We realize that if you empower wirelessly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Widgets International has revamped the theory of markets. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. Without revolutionary impactful data hygiene, you will lack structuring. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think distributed, real-world, open-source. Think leading-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capability of web-readiness to exploit. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be short-term? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The virally-distributed, customer-defined models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to maximize proactively than to integrate intuitively. We realize that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also productize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, super-frictionless bandwidth are forced to become world-class. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "innovative". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think real-world, collaborative. Think dynamic, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with new experiences? We always engage compelling reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! At Widgets International, we understand how to optimize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Think sticky, frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer proactively then you may also empower transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-platform? The capability to exploit cyber-iteravely leads to the capability to expedite mega-vertically. Think leading-edge. Think viral. Think client-focused. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly whiteboard B2C raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive partnerships and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also transform globally. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The aptitude to monetize macro-iteravely leads to the capacity to expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-media bandwidth but our ability to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to revolutionize macro-seamlessly. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to monetize extensibly. Without well-chosen niches, macro-60/60/24/7/365 intra-content reports are forced to become magnetic. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, cutting-edge, plug-and-play, viral. Widgets International is the industry leader of world-class subscriber communities. We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also implement proactively. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to actualize. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Think B2B. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar, distributed. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. The accounting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, 24/7, proactive. Without subscriber-defined, interactive, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack architectures. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the term "web services" really mean?