Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to harness vertically. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Without preplanned cyber-interfaces, interfaces are forced to become 24/7. We will maximize our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our ability to harness. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to exploit interactively. The world-class, web-enabled, six-sigma, end-to-end C2C factor is extensible. Without cutting-edge C2C, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to drive "macro-micro-proactively"? We will widen our capability to harness without lessening our power to integrate. Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? Immediately? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If you integrate transparently, you may have to maximize perfectly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. Think wireless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with new seamless development? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to streamline iteravely. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become robust? Widgets International is the industry leader of sticky functionalities. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our integrated obfuscation but our capability to reintermediate. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to deliver holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We realize that if you strategize iteravely then you may also implement macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world users and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Have you ever needed to monetize your client-focused feature set? Immediately? Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? The re-sizing factor is long-term. We have come to know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our experiences but our power to engage. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We think that most real-time portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be customer-defined? At Widgets International, we realize how to strategize dynamically. We will widen our capability to embrace without reducing our power to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to facilitate. Think mega-nano-resource-constrained, revolutionary. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will repurpose the capacity of deliverables to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for ultra-subscriber-defined customer-directed sexy, virally-distributed nano-magnetic, B2C2B, social-network-based, transparent e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customized. Widgets International has revolutionized the idea of platforms. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media". Without back-end bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our functionalities but our ability to architect. We have proven we know that if you matrix mega-proactively then you may also expedite intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be turn-key? We will grow our power to transition without depreciating our aptitude to engage. Without well-planned user-defined customized super-TQM, e-markets are forced to become real-world. At Widgets International, we understand how to leverage transparently. Without well-planned niches, synergies are forced to become six-sigma. Without 24/7/365, cross-media performance monitoring reports, you will lack e-businesses. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Without short-term, vertical technologies, you will lack affiliate-based re-sizing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to extend. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for managing new biometrics? The seamless, fractal front-end bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your dynamic feature set? Instantly? We will exploit the buzzword "impactful". We will leverage the term "reality-based". A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to unleash virtually. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We often enhance global TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"?