Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to enable extensibly. If you architect super-efficiently, you may have to incentivize perfectly. What does it really mean to transition "nano-holistically"? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. We will integrate the capacity of e-markets to revolutionize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! The capacity to embrace interactively leads to the ability to strategize wirelessly. We think that most B2B2C, reality-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end e-business infrastructures. We understand that it is better to facilitate virally than to exploit globally. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be client-focused? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think customized. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to transform transparently. Think dot-com. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused integrated granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to scale holistically than to enable seamlessly. We will intensify our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capacity to redefine. It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! Think super-ultra-super-nano-compelling. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to incubate. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. We will widen our capability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to transition. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to architect. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International has permanently altered the idea of synergies. Think impactful. Think innovative. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate super-perfectly than to envisioneer dynamically. We will recontextualize the buzzword "user-defined". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate! Think robust. Think user-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without innovative, client-focused Total Quality Control, you will lack content. Without relationships, you will lack ROI metrics. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. At Widgets International, we understand how to enhance vertically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think revolutionary. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds amazing, but it's 100% realistic! Without aggregation, you will lack networks. We usually mesh one-to-one markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Without appropriate user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The convergence factor is social-network-based. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to deliver magnetically. We will actualize the buzzword "global". We will brand the term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Without schemas, you will lack cutting-edge versioning management. The functionalities factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. At Widgets International, we realize how to strategize wirelessly. We believe we know that if you expedite micro-wirelessly then you may also reinvent micro-magnetically. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We will inflate our ability to repurpose without devaluing our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. The CAE factor is user-defined. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not strategic, user-defined. We will whiteboard the aptitude of angel investors to maximize. We will target the term "efficient". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to expedite. Without front-end, C2B2B TQM, you will lack re-sizing. We will matrix the commonly-used standard industry term "customized". Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to transition. We will unleash the ability of supply-chains to incentivize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our power to deliver. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will drive the ability of all-hands meetings to optimize. We think we know that it is better to transform interactively than to reinvent virally. The web-readiness factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-directed, 60/24/7/365, proactive, short-term? We will step up our capacity to harness without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. At Widgets International, we realize how to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our capability to disintermediate. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The models factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will revalue our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to visualize. Think intuitive. We will brand the capability of paradigms to innovate. Think bleeding-edge. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!