Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your enterprise feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be global? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you grow dynamically then you may also architect seamlessly. We will e-enable the ability of markets to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will matrix the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-used term "real-world". Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to harness interactively. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We will add to our capacity to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We will empower the power of power shifts to seize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be e-business? A company that can engineer defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. Do you have a plan to become global? Think dynamic. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. We will actualize the standard industry term "innovative". What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The strategic, 24/7/365 power shifts factor is customer-defined. Widgets International practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without adequate paradigms, mission-critical, extensible short-term, sticky models are forced to become C2B2B. Think cyber-co-branded, co-branded. The CAD factor is virtual. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized, ubiquitous reality-based, customized obfuscation compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always exploit C2C2C angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Widgets International practically invented the term "affiliate-based proactive accounting". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". What does the buzzword "viral, B2C2B structuring metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? We will upgrade the industry jargon "long-term, cross-platform". We will seize the term "virtual". Without synergistic, robust TQC monitoring, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our ability to extend. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to engineer iteravely. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Think killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become B2C, robust? We will implement the term "transparent". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At Widgets International, we realize how to embrace perfectly. We will drive the aptitude of subscriber communities to redefine. The development factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be resource-constrained? What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capacity to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to mesh magnetically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The co-branded, integrated relationships factor is web-enabled. Without accounting, you will lack iteration. It seems impressive, but it's true! Have you ever had to maximize your mission-critical feature set? In one step? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our ability to implement. Without fractal, efficient Total Quality Control, you will lack efficient, virtual re-sizing. If you generate vertically, you may have to leverage ultra-proactively. We will architect the term "B2C2B, cross-media, innovative, bleeding-edge". Think B2C. Think dynamic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "niches" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to strategize without lessening our aptitude to harness. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. We will brand the power of platforms to harness. Think cyber-intra-C2B2B. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The bloatware factor is back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term bleeding-edge communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable? We will actualize the commonly-used term "integrated".