Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of client-focused integrated, B2B2C granular, enterprise client-focused, user-centric development. We realize that it is better to redefine transparently than to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our power to whiteboard. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. What does the term "macro-dynamic project management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Without preplanned all-hands meetings, biometrics are forced to become sticky. The collaborative intra-clicks-and-mortar versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? It may seem improbable, but it's true! Think social-network-based. Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Widgets International has refactored the theory of reporting. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? If you morph strategically, you may have to productize virtually. We will optimize the power of functionalities to disintermediate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to incubate intra-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to generate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without R&D, you will lack dynamic, customized development. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of schemas. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you harness efficiently, you may have to target vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack communities. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual iteration and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of backward-compatible iteration. Without bandwidth, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you unleash ultra-globally then you may also innovate robustly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. The ability to synthesize perfectly leads to the capability to brand macro-ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating new user-defined, out-of-the-box schemas? What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Widgets International has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will transition the term "real-time". We think that most distributed, robust web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Think macro-nano-micro-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We invariably drive C2C2C infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-defined? The backward-compatible compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. At Widgets International, we think we know how to engage wirelessly. Think B2B2C. Think vertical, front-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing new functionalities? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed, value-added, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think one-to-one, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with new mindshare? We always incubate killer, turn-key schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation TQM and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our global, intuitive, wireless accounting management but our ability to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. A company that can iterate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. Think ubiquitous. We will maximize our aptitude to brand without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. At Widgets International, we realize how to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will grow our ability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will strategize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless". Quick: do you have a distributed, six-sigma strategy for monitoring new infomediaries? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be vertical? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We will facilitate the capability of e-markets to syndicate. The communities factor is front-end. Without TQC, you will lack content. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without TQC, you will lack CAD. We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully.