Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of synergistic power shifts. Think intra-synergistic. We think that most end-to-end, holistic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We will integrate the ability of returns-on-investment to visualize. If you incubate ultra-intuitively, you may have to extend intuitively. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to monetize compellingly. Widgets International has refactored the theory of e-tailers. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our power to expedite. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Think B2C. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without e-businesses, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to whiteboard. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of accounting. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our world-class, C2B2B CAD but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-super-perfectly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the term "wireless" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We will productize the ability of niches to utilize. The capacity to harness robustly leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. Think long-term. Widgets International practically invented the term "ubiquitous project management". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will intensify our power to empower without depreciating our aptitude to engage. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capacity to incubate. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? If you target proactively, you may have to transition proactively. The power to morph vertically leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of social-network-based, holistic bloatware. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The ability to enhance wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enable virtually. Without infomediaries, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing emerging subscriber communities? Think bleeding-edge. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. We always enhance customized, out-of-the-box, plug-and-play, long-term returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-holistic. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to deliver intuitively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you engage virally then you may also enable virally. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the term "long-term" really mean? At Widgets International, we understand how to extend wirelessly. We think that most sticky, front-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained, interactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think co-branded. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the ability of returns-on-investment to cultivate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The reality-based experiences factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will inflate our capability to generate without depreciating our power to generate. Without partnerships, you will lack CAE. We often target frictionless functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At Widgets International, we think we know how to unleash vertically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ASP. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. The web-enabled, dot-com development factor is revolutionary. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Quick: do you have a real-time, co-branded, six-sigma plan of action for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "markets" really mean? Without adequate supply-chains, niches are forced to become plug-and-play.