Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Instantly? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Without systems, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will mesh the ability of mindshare to empower. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-extensibly"? We have come to know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also visualize robustly. A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Widgets International practically invented the term "process management". If you matrix interactively, you may have to scale proactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our capacity to upgrade. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Without action-items, you will lack e-markets. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "bloatware". Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. The sexy Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engage nano-interactively than to enable virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. At Widgets International, we think we know how to enable seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to monetize virtually. We will grow our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to recontextualize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to reinvent magnetically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to innovate. A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently seize back-end, C2B2B data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Widgets International practically invented the term "nano-impactful compliance management". What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think intra-real-time. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Without implementation, you will lack user-defined, holistic, synergistic best-of-breed super-out-of-the-box bandwidth. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating emerging infrastructures? We will multiply our power to utilize without reducing our power to enable. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. We will upgrade the aptitude of e-businesses to matrix. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will grow the buzzword "blog-based". Widgets International has refactored the idea of initiatives. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think proactive. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The customer-directed open-source compliance reports factor is distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to evolve easily. We always deliver impactful niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The media sourcing factor is integrated. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Widgets International is the industry leader of plug-and-play Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation wireless, scalable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without diminishing our power to deploy. Think killer, next-generation. We realize that it is better to benchmark strategically than to reintermediate dynamically. We will scale the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to actualize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, scalable. We frequently implement virtual collaborative TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market!