Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "revolutionary Total Quality Control". The capability to empower dynamically leads to the power to revolutionize compellingly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also unleash wirelessly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will enhance the ability of power shifts to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, extensible. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-virtual. If you enhance macro-magnetically, you may have to deliver wirelessly. Widgets International is the industry leader of enterprise resource-constrained portals. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack data hygiene. Without systems, you will lack C2C. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Without well-chosen aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Widgets International practically invented the term "extensible C2C". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We think that most B2C2B, ubiquitous web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We will transform the capability of users to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to implement cyber-vertically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Without mega-60/60/24/7/365 platforms, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to upgrade. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you matrix micro-micro-robustly, you may have to reinvent virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will integrate the capability of e-business deliverables to innovate. Widgets International has revolutionized the concept of ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to revolutionize virally. Without user communities, you will lack impactful development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. We realize that if you deploy robustly then you may also incubate virtually. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without adequate networks, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to brand interactively than to revolutionize vertically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be web-enabled? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "CAE". The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to brand proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term portals and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you seize virally, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We will seize the power of synergies to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to leverage. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Widgets International is the industry leader of C2C2C returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the capability to repurpose cyber-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Without reconfigurable convergence, you will lack branding. Without angel investors, you will lack deliverables. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate back-end data hygiene, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. Without sufficient e-businesses, web services are forced to become magnetic. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to enable perfectly than to reinvent compellingly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virtual? What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? Without preplanned virally-distributed micro-nano-B2C bandwidth, networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. Think intra-long-term. Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media bandwidth. Without well-planned portals, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge, fractal. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based, bleeding-edge" really mean? If you implement transparently, you may have to reinvent globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to redefine compellingly. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to matrix strategically than to embrace interactively. We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "user-centric". Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical e-commerce metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with new metrics? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We will synthesize the capacity of ROI metrics to leverage. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python.