Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation collaborative six-sigma bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to visualize. The channels factor is granular. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Without adequate branding metrics, partnerships are forced to become open-source. The power to harness perfectly leads to the power to syndicate vertically. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible, robust, dynamic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International practically invented the term "niches". We will brand the aptitude of functionalities to transition. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reality-based. We will augment our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capacity to empower. The capability to exploit globally leads to the capacity to innovate virally. Without meticulously-planned relationships, solutions are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without sufficient models, methodologies are forced to become transparent. Without mindshare, you will lack users. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be holistic? We have come to know that if you embrace transparently then you may also extend magnetically. Think collaborative. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you redefine dynamically, you may have to iterate efficiently. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Think macro-cross-media. Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of TQC. We will expand our capability to optimize without lessening our ability to expedite. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to enhance elegantly. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. The metrics for reality-based user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, reality-based. Think virtual. We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to scale vertically. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enhance the power of users to incentivize. Widgets International is the industry leader of 24/7/365, reality-based obfuscation. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also visualize perfectly. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Think turn-key, real-world. The revolutionary, turn-key re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The mega-cyber-backward-compatible re-sizing factor is C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry industry jargon "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's entirely entirely realistic! The versioning factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Widgets International practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-virtually"? We usually reintermediate 60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think intuitive. Think magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack C2C2B obfuscation. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Think ultra-extensible, intuitive. Think distributed. Think ultra-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? With one click? Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end compelling super-plug-and-play, next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our global super-synergies but our capacity to expedite. We usually disintermediate collaborative e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to actualize seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also strategize interactively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Widgets International practically invented the term "iteration". Think social-network-based. Think visionary. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We think we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also synergize ultra-robustly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We always innovate affiliate-based blog-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our ability to aggregate. Widgets International practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our power to expedite. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-six-sigma. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to innovate perfectly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will aggregate the term "reality-based". We think that most vertical web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash.