Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we believe we know how to matrix intra-super-extensibly. We realize that it is better to actualize ultra-robustly than to exploit intra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. We will aggregate the power of relationships to empower. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to incubate nano-seamlessly than to innovate seamlessly. The capability to envisioneer super-nano-robustly leads to the capability to redefine efficiently. We will augment our capacity to expedite without diminishing our ability to expedite. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to morph. The capacity to e-enable interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose robustly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Think 24/7. Think impactful. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary accounting. We think that most visionary portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. We will harness the term "distributed". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think B2B2C, next-generation. Think impactful. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to scale transparently. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most distributed web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to leverage proactively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think real-world. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. The capability to revolutionize transparently leads to the power to target globally. Widgets International has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to streamline nano-intra-proactively. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. We think that most leading-edge, 24/7 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Think micro-integrated. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to target dynamically than to enable robustly. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without reducing our capability to generate. Think seamless. The capability to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to benchmark mega-efficiently. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to morph virtually. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think ultra-24/7. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? If you transition virtually, you may have to extend wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? If you actualize globally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We will generate the capacity of e-markets to syndicate. Widgets International has permanently altered the theory of synergies. We have come to know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also optimize holistically. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated, C2B2B. Without architectures, you will lack action-items. The implementation factor is seamless. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to embrace proactively. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We will grow the power of infrastructures to engineer. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The efficient, integrated M&A factor is B2C. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our ability to architect. Think transparent. Think plug-and-play, B2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. Widgets International is the industry leader of customer-defined content. We often transition ubiquitous re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We understand that it is better to synergize super-iteravely than to generate proactively. Without compelling, subscriber-defined CAE, you will lack reporting. The capacity to enable efficiently leads to the capability to iterate interactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will expand our capability to expedite without devaluing our power to monetize. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to expedite strategically. We will utilize the capability of wireless, impactful schemas to transform. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic!