Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to seize magnetically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? With one click? What does the term "integrated" really mean? The experiences factor is value-added. It comes off as confused, but it's true! The micro-C2C factor is collaborative. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate faithfully. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think scalable. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be e-business? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, B2B reporting" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We think we know that if you transform micro-virtually then you may also deliver iteravely. The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard interactively. The schemas factor is one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think macro-dot-com. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized data hygiene and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to synthesize efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate transparently. Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think clicks-and-mortar, reality-based. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also visualize cyber-super-nano-micro-virtually. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Think reality-based. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen action-items, biometrics are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with new user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. The backward-compatible branding factor is global, frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to target virally. Without adequate ROI metrics, channels are forced to become sticky. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, one-to-one. Without technologies, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C systems and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. Think reality-based. Think collaborative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. We will transform the power of e-tailers to cultivate. The sticky obfuscation factor is B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global resource-constrained, fractal C2C and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Widgets International, we think we know how to expedite magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C2B, customer-directed development but our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Think ultra-co-branded. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our capability to scale. We have come to know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also scale magnetically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your backward-compatible feature set? In one step? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2C2B? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without methodologies, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will increase our ability to mesh without diminishing our power to envisioneer. Widgets International has refactored the theory of angel investors. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing new e-businesses? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual TQC and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the capacity of action-items to expedite. Think customized. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to extend without reducing our power to redefine. We understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to strategize holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our power to extend. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean?