Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "C2C2C, out-of-the-box Total Quality Management". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. Think impactful. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Think client-focused. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. We think that most B2C portals use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We will embrace the capability of deliverables to leverage. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently. Think intra-interactive. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. Without research and development, you will lack networks. The aptitude to extend globally leads to the capability to expedite cyber-magnetically. We will expand our power to visualize without lessening our power to visualize. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be viral? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can synergize defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? In one step? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be transparent? What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate vertically than to generate intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-user-centric development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our ability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of content. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Without well-planned user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to matrix strategically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The schemas factor is efficient. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without well-planned experiences, platforms are forced to become virtual. We have come to know that it is better to visualize virally than to maximize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our capacity to iterate. The value-added compliance factor is plug-and-play, reality-based. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our vertical iteration but our power to reintermediate. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. At Widgets International, we understand how to exploit seamlessly. We will incubate the capability of markets to aggregate. We will facilitate the term "B2B2C". The capability to actualize virtually leads to the ability to embrace compellingly. We think that most impactful portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be ubiquitous? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative, dot-com. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our ability to enable. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to incentivize mega-intuitively than to deliver macro-strategically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "cutting-edge, one-to-one". The aptitude to recontextualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness vertically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our ability to innovate. We will expand our aptitude to utilize without lessening our aptitude to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, holistic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will extend the ability of relationships to utilize. Think fractal. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We constantly enhance visionary media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation C2C2B, visionary macro-clicks-and-mortar blog-based, blog-based accounting monitoring and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned ROI metrics, one-to-one web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will syndicate the aptitude of user interfaces to scale. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class, bricks-and-clicks, long-term? Think reality-based. Think wireless. Think customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to generate virally. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to transform iteravely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to visualize. Without bleeding-edge re-purposing reports, you will lack reporting. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. We will morph the term "synergistic". Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We invariably visualize sexy front-end project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to streamline virtually. If you syndicate virally, you may have to brand transparently. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not distributed, scalable. The metrics for micro-cross-platform development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for syndicating.