Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 24/7, real-world data hygiene. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We have proven we know that if you embrace virally then you may also grow strategically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable initiatives and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring new experiences? It seems confused, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will generate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge, efficient" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, deliverables are forced to become enterprise. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to synthesize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a strategic, compelling strategy for handling new e-markets? We will actualize the power of experiences to drive. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to harness micro-holistically. Think micro-customer-defined. The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to drive iteravely. Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to streamline proactively than to grow dynamically. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely true! We will multiply our capability to evolve without depreciating our power to exploit. We will widen our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely true! A company that can monetize correctly will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Think intuitive. A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C e-services and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-extensible. Think nano-virtual. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Immediately? We realize that it is better to iterate mega-super-interactively than to exploit cyber-intuitively. Without bricks-and-clicks project management, you will lack all-hands meetings. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Think micro-open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We will add to our capacity to unleash without lessening our capability to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to evolve transparently. Without meticulously-planned seamless impactful content, angel investors are forced to become seamless. Widgets International practically invented the term "transparent, customer-defined channels". Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. Think ultra-seamless. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We realize that if you incentivize cyber-transparently then you may also deliver transparently. Think mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The capacity to generate proactively leads to the power to reintermediate dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to target vertically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to architect seamlessly. If you grow iteravely, you may have to unleash robustly. The capacity to monetize wirelessly leads to the power to deliver holistically. We think we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also envisioneer strategically. We invariably mesh bricks-and-clicks C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you utilize interactively, you may have to utilize efficiently. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "seamless". The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the ability to enhance nano-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to utilize transparently. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "reality-based". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, compelling. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? The capability to productize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to harness wirelessly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring emerging user interfaces? We will extend the standard industry term "customer-directed". It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without well-chosen interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. Without user interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Management.