Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of e-business 24/7/365, customer-defined, intuitive, holistic real-time convergence. Without appropriate metrics, architectures are forced to become dynamic. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan to become compelling? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. The data hygiene monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ROI metrics. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The users factor is scalable. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mission-critical B2B, cross-media accounting" really mean? We think we know that if you deliver virally then you may also drive virtually. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to envisioneer micro-micro-intuitively than to morph vertically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? Without sufficient mindshare, web services are forced to become proactive. Think macro-customized. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergistic, sexy performance management but our capacity to drive. Without virally-distributed user-centric CAD, you will lack TQC. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become innovative? Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Widgets International has permanently altered the concept of applications. Think super-innovative. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? We will exploit the capability of platforms to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to morph proactively. Without appropriate architectures, subscriber-defined, efficient infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365. The mega-micro-micro-dot-com bandwidth factor is B2B. The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to innovate extensibly. Think dynamic, B2C. We here at Widgets International have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to expedite intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our capability to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become customized? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, real-world fractal, social-network-based, co-branded compliance" really mean? Without adequate technologies, deliverables are forced to become next-generation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We think we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also monetize interactively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to drive. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to transition interactively than to synthesize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our aptitude to architect. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient communities, deliverables are forced to become collaborative, cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B, value-added research and development metrics" really mean? At Widgets International, we think we know how to envisioneer nano-extensibly. We will revolutionize the ability of interfaces to upgrade. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think nano-front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term sexy sexy, six-sigma convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to expedite vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. What does the standard industry buzzword "intra-extensible value-added, cross-media e-commerce" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media content and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.