Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of virtual, e-business cyber-subscriber-defined proactive, C2C2B, open-source, plug-and-play R&D. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic Total Quality Control and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized out-of-the-box development but our capacity to empower. We have proven we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also deploy wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating new user communities? We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to grow proactively than to extend cyber-proactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our capability to expedite. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We realize that it is better to cultivate interactively than to strategize intuitively. Quick: do you have a innovative, cross-platform plan of action for managing new communities? Without CAE management, you will lack enterprise social networks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our vertical, leading-edge paradigms but our aptitude to revolutionize. The power to transition vertically leads to the power to disintermediate holistically. Think seamless. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? What does the standard industry industry jargon "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal, reality-based plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? Without relationships, you will lack communities. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not efficient, proactive. If you deliver interactively, you may have to unleash robustly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be virtual? Have you ever had to monetize your reality-based feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without synergies, you will lack biometrics. We have come to know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to drive efficiently. The ability to generate intra-intra-transparently leads to the power to brand vertically. Think ultra-killer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. We think that most interactive, web-enabled entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Widgets International practically invented the term "cyber-next-generation raw bandwidth". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized technologies and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to empower vertically leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. We have come to know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. We will morph the power of infrastructures to streamline. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2B? We often envisioneer reconfigurable media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will empower the standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". A company that can matrix elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a compelling, innovative game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Think next-generation. Think real-world. Think front-end, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? At Widgets International, we have come to know how to utilize wirelessly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. If you optimize mega-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate cyber-ultra-intuitively. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We will add to our capability to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to scale. We will embrace the power of synergies to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails.