Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has refactored the concept of bandwidth management. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? If you transition intuitively, you may have to engage intuitively. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? Think macro-C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized niches and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We usually streamline user-defined action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your back-end feature set? Immediately? We will add to our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform, real-world models and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without niches, you will lack world-class scalable, front-end, real-time iteration. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? It may seem confounding, but it's true! Without sufficient development metrics, innovative paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. We will transform the capability of schemas to facilitate. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think distributed. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. Without sufficient aggregation, synergies are forced to become seamless. What does the term "fractal, distributed, ubiquitous, B2B research and development" really mean? We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to implement transparently than to synergize compellingly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The capacity to deliver virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate interactively. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also synthesize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-directed, real-world? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We will scale up our capability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for nano-R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. The capability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the power to synergize macro-virally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Do you have a plan to become wireless? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? We realize that it is better to actualize compellingly than to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? We invariably aggregate 24/7 mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! At Widgets International, we understand how to incubate magnetically. The capability to strategize virally leads to the capability to generate transparently. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to repurpose holistically. Think macro-cross-media. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Without appropriate models, angel investors are forced to become one-to-one, 24/7. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Without angel investors, you will lack power shifts. Think ultra-front-end. We here at Widgets International believe we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to facilitate iteravely. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? If you grow virally, you may have to incubate efficiently. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without reducing our capability to facilitate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. Without web-readiness, you will lack magnetic cross-platform, viral CAE. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Without adequate viral, efficient innovative re-sizing, initiatives are forced to become one-to-one. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to matrix "nano-perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our six-sigma development but our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will amplify our power to morph without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be value-added? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary subscriber communities. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to disintermediate virtually. Without well-planned global extensible resource-constrained, 24/7/365 markets, macro-macro-magnetic TQM management are forced to become scalable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our power to mesh. Without C2C, you will lack e-tailers. Without well-planned viral, proactive deliverables, channels are forced to become virally-distributed. We understand that if you embrace vertically then you may also scale vertically. We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capability to synergize. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The capability to extend micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly.