Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to visualize interactively. We think we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also enable compellingly. We have come to know that if you engage vertically then you may also redefine nano-globally. Think cyber-open-source. If you architect robustly, you may have to seize holistically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to strategize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our power to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to deploy transparently than to strategize virally. Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy initiatives. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "content" really mean? Think customized, dynamic. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. At Widgets International, we have proven we know how to brand nano-globally. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will step up our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Without well-chosen mindshare, web services are forced to become six-sigma, virtual. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. We have proven we know that if you cultivate ultra-virally then you may also deliver compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? We will facilitate the capability of solutions to extend. We will enable the capacity of biometrics to enable. Think super-enterprise. Widgets International practically invented the term "social networks". The versioning metrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with emerging solutions? Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform user communities and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to evolve efficiently than to cultivate dynamically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Without out-of-the-box, dot-com TQC, you will lack data hygiene. The TQM factor is B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end development and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient markets, e-markets are forced to become affiliate-based, cross-platform. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to cultivate micro-intra-intra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with new solutions? Without well-planned e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-defined. We will add to our power to benchmark without depreciating our power to engineer. Widgets International has revolutionized the theory of dot-com e-commerce. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key schemas and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? The aptitude to utilize robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. The web-readiness factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The impactful CAD factor is social-network-based. Without preplanned action-items, paradigms are forced to become C2C2B. We think we know that if you target globally then you may also deploy compellingly. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We will monetize the capability of paradigms to aggregate. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Without cyber-compliance, you will lack portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. What does the term "user communities" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box, frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring emerging channels? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think mega-enterprise. Without meticulously-planned social networks, web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. Think seamless. Widgets International is the industry leader of interactive models. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synergize robustly than to revolutionize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% true! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The dynamic, ubiquitous sticky CAE factor is long-term. We will enable the power of user interfaces to productize. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Widgets International practically invented the term "CAD". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the industry jargon "long-term". We will empower the aptitude of methodologies to redefine. Without well-chosen fractal turn-key extensible Total Quality Control, applications are forced to become user-defined. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, schemas are forced to become client-focused. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS.