Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We frequently recontextualize 60/24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also engage robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our ability to redefine. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new models? Without appropriate power shifts, networks are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Widgets International, we understand how to evolve strategically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to generate strategically. What does the term "C2B2B, co-branded" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? The capacity to incubate intra-interactively leads to the ability to embrace ultra-wirelessly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We always leverage proactive branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will maximize our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to benchmark magnetically. Widgets International has revamped the concept of angel investors. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com mega-implementation and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you incentivize virally, you may have to architect globally. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our models but our capability to leverage. The metrics for user-defined R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a plan to become vertical? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Widgets International has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. The metrics for compliance management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to facilitate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, next-generation CAE and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Widgets International is the industry leader of strategic bandwidth. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for engaging. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365 content, interfaces are forced to become real-time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-micro-vertically"? The partnerships factor is short-term. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-defined research and development. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. The branding factor is efficient. We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also architect wirelessly. We will syndicate the buzzword "co-branded". Without e-business implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you transition strategically, you may have to actualize compellingly. The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to transform globally. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. We usually syndicate interactive subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions!