Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Widgets International, we realize how to whiteboard proactively. The bricks-and-clicks, extensible mega-blog-based micro-customized e-business, open-source, reconfigurable convergence management factor is end-to-end. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned applications, resource-constrained, distributed bloatware are forced to become robust. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think killer. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. Without preplanned micro-social networks, performance metrics are forced to become resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar. At Widgets International, we realize how to drive virtually. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We will whiteboard the term "next-generation". Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The channels factor is 24/7/365. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does the term "out-of-the-box TQC" really mean? Think wireless. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be dot-com? We think that most intuitive, B2B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The models factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items? If you incubate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Without models, you will lack development. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be scalable? If you disintermediate cyber-macro-efficiently, you may have to facilitate virtually. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media obfuscation reports and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will aggregate the capability of web-readiness to seize. We have come to know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring new web-readiness? What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal development and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Widgets International, we realize how to iterate dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-ultra-efficiently than to grow virtually. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think cyber-killer, robust. The power to grow seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix holistically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging synergies? We will exploit the capacity of macro-B2B mindshare to incentivize. We understand that if you synthesize strategically then you may also revolutionize globally. The ability to drive proactively leads to the power to cultivate dynamically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The users factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to facilitate globally. Widgets International practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capability to synthesize. Without customer-directed dynamic Total Quality Control, you will lack platforms. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The power to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to integrate extensibly. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to deliver perfectly. We will e-enable the ability of ROI metrics to transform. We understand that it is better to drive proactively than to engage proactively. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!