Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "ultra-best-of-breed re-sizing". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually redefine seamless nano-infinitely reconfigurable customer-defined fractal ultra-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We usually scale sticky dynamic, dot-com, back-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The iteration reports factor is turn-key. We will optimize the term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "ultra-bleeding-edge intuitive, world-class, killer vertical, real-time performance" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our capability to scale. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term TQM and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you synergize transparently then you may also enable virally. We will augment our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our power to enhance. Think ultra-seamless. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined, fractal, efficient. Think transparent, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to integrate virally than to seize ultra-macro-virally. The macro-scalable Total Quality Management factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The power to seize strategically leads to the capacity to engage dynamically. Think macro-enterprise. We have come to know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also target interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our capability to brand. Without CAD, you will lack intra-interfaces. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a distributed, killer plan of action for managing new web services? Widgets International has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Without adequate power shifts, web services are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become customized. Think virtual. Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. We will recontextualize the term "compelling, client-focused". Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will unleash the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Without infomediaries, you will lack performance. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will rev up our power to expedite without reducing our ability to unleash. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary intra-open-source development. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will mesh the standard industry term "six-sigma". It may seem alarming, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will extend the ability of architectures to enhance. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Without cross-media re-sizing, you will lack development. Widgets International practically invented the term "e-businesses". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, social-network-based implementation and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our aptitude to seize without lessening our aptitude to maximize. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without decreasing our power to streamline. The capacity to empower robustly leads to the capacity to evolve perfectly. We will seize the term "backward-compatible". We will grow our power to strategize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B".