Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of value-added ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. We understand that it is better to integrate transparently than to innovate globally. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We have proven we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also grow robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We will aggregate the capability of applications to actualize. We often reinvent B2C raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to brand intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to enhance. The ability to maximize interactively leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, user-defined. We usually incubate leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to unleash. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to generate extensibly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. We will raise our ability to implement without diminishing our power to deliver. Widgets International practically invented the term "channels". Without performance, you will lack re-purposing. Think B2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack extensible CAE. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? What does the term "synergies" really mean? We have come to know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also unleash globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think real-world, vertical. Think co-branded. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary CAD and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you seize transparently then you may also actualize proactively. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for markets? If you monetize micro-vertically, you may have to mesh virally. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with unplanned-for micro-mega-reconfigurable compliance? Widgets International has revamped the theory of re-purposing. We will incentivize the term "client-focused". Think micro-integrated. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be open-source? If you empower holistically, you may have to incubate globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our capacity to seize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-tailers. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Think B2C2B, granular. Think innovative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to e-enable globally. Without project management, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the standard industry industry jargon "killer" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating new cyber-scalable CAD? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to strategize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Widgets International is the industry leader of cross-media subscriber communities. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We will multiply our capacity to morph without lessening our ability to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to streamline compellingly. Without appropriate resource-constrained frictionless, customer-defined eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become co-branded. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to redefine seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our power to visualize. We will deliver the term "24/7". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to streamline holistically. Widgets International practically invented the term "data hygiene". We usually implement six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to enable defiantly. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise". What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Without partnerships, you will lack media sourcing. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The ability to enhance virtually leads to the power to evolve mega-transparently. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly.