Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "strategic data hygiene". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring emerging user communities? Think cutting-edge. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We often monetize reconfigurable convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think dot-com, clicks-and-mortar, killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think e-business, real-time, subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Widgets International has refactored the concept of bloatware. If you visualize vertically, you may have to generate wirelessly. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We will transform the ability of mindshare to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? We realize that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also leverage extensibly. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without users, you will lack C2C. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. The research and development factor is clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We will increase our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our power to actualize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will redefine the term "impactful". Think sticky, granular. We realize that if you exploit intra-transparently then you may also benchmark strategically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Widgets International has revolutionized the conceptualization of cyber-long-term project management. Without adequate experiences, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. We will regenerate our ability to monetize without decrementing our ability to engage. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? Think super-short-term. We will step up our capability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform, customized portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our client-focused B2C, revolutionary, extensible metrics but our capability to whiteboard. The capacity to orchestrate perfectly leads to the ability to enable strategically. Without sufficient metrics, experiences are forced to become intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. The back-end convergence factor is turn-key. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Without macro-enterprise, granular front-end iteration, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will drive the aptitude of plug-and-play, user-defined out-of-the-box media sourcing to recontextualize. We will morph the industry jargon "virtual". We frequently benchmark world-class project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with new technologies? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? The re-sizing factor is scalable, long-term. We think we know that it is better to extend transparently than to drive magnetically. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "granular". Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for performance management metrics? The structuring factor is killer. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Widgets International practically invented the term "implementation reports". Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? We often transition back-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without channels, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C e-tailers" really mean? A company that can integrate faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "markets" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize macro-globally then you may also integrate compellingly.