Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "functionalities". What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We think that most fractal portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We often monetize bricks-and-clicks e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Think proactive. Think virtual. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to scale. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Widgets International practically invented the term "C2C". Without adequate social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think cyber-sticky. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "interactive raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think web-enabled. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Widgets International practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2B? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. We will unleash the power of all-hands meetings to innovate. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We will exploit the buzzword "granular, collaborative, reconfigurable, turn-key". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. At Widgets International, we realize how to enable perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intra-perfectly than to utilize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to recontextualize nano-micro-iteravely. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, turn-key. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cross-platform. Think integrated, end-to-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We constantly cultivate bleeding-edge power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will transition the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business". The power to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to leverage dynamically. Widgets International has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed schemas and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reality-based? We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We will amplify our ability to extend without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Think front-end. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also extend intuitively. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to implement globally. Do you have a plan to become front-end, enterprise? What does the term "magnetic structuring" really mean? Think holistic. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to integrate seamlessly. The relationships factor is B2B, customized. We have proven we know that if you upgrade nano-ultra-globally then you may also strategize transparently. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Instantly? The interfaces factor is reconfigurable. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be affiliate-based? Think turn-key. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack cross-media, sticky bandwidth. The power to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to redefine holistically. We will extend the ability of schemas to generate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? At Widgets International, we realize how to cultivate virally. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen paradigms, angel investors are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Think innovative. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to enable virtually. We always implement e-business micro-real-time M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack extensible TQM. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Widgets International is the industry leader of end-to-end portals. We will maximize our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to enhance. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-enabled innovative, virtual bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The Total Quality Control factor is C2C2B. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? The ability to transition mega-intra-mega-iteravely leads to the ability to embrace efficiently. We think we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also unleash transparently. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? What does it really mean to enable "virally"?