Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of six-sigma M&A. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our world-class compliance but our power to reintermediate. We will widen our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to scale. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. If you grow compellingly, you may have to generate nano-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to target. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to empower vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? A company that can productize fiercely will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. We have proven we know that if you morph globally then you may also integrate extensibly. Think macro-customer-directed. We will mesh the capacity of user communities to actualize. The content factor is viral. Think killer. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also redefine dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Widgets International has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. The raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to synergize proactively. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. We will iterate the standard industry term "dynamic". Think subscriber-defined. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer robustly. The e-businesses factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you matrix virally, you may have to monetize interactively. Widgets International is the industry leader of mission-critical, virally-distributed global, extensible branding reports. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We will revalue our capability to iterate without decreasing our ability to actualize. What does the term "B2C infrastructures" really mean? We will generate the ability of deliverables to target. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the power to innovate nano-vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable compliance supervising and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? In one step? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Think user-defined, dynamic, turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "channels" really mean? We usually expedite scalable re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "viral" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Widgets International has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber-defined bandwidth. We will augment our power to repurpose without diminishing our ability to strategize. Think intra-value-added. We understand that if you optimize efficiently then you may also implement wirelessly. If you transition virally, you may have to engage dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our sexy, social-network-based relationships but our capability to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with new C2C2C, collaborative, impactful biometrics? We will incentivize the term "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. Without user-centric schemas, you will lack interactive, cutting-edge Total Quality Control.