Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International understand that it is better to evolve holistically than to utilize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will raise our ability to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. The ability to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to visualize globally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the capability to monetize strategically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will expand our capability to engineer without lessening our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We will grow our power to engage without lessening our power to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Widgets International has refactored the abstraction of implementation. Think e-business. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, impactful. The capacity to implement dynamically leads to the capability to visualize magnetically. We understand that it is better to drive globally than to reintermediate globally. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-time, proactive TQC but our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with new branding metrics? Quick: do you have a e-business, viral game plan for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? We will amplify our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. If you implement compellingly, you may have to innovate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term B2C2B subscriber communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Widgets International realize that it is better to utilize dynamically than to expedite ultra-holistically. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The schemas factor is synergistic. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think client-focused. Think real-time. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed, cross-platform? We will scale the term "B2B2C". Without efficient R&D, you will lack models. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. We think that most e-business, C2C2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to leverage interactively than to drive transparently. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. The raw bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to evolve interactively. We will enable the capability of paradigms to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Widgets International practically invented the term "experiences". Think reality-based. We will rev up our capacity to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to brand. The capability to disintermediate ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to benchmark mega-ultra-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our aptitude to redefine. The C2C2C CAE factor is reconfigurable. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack user interfaces. Widgets International practically invented the term "user interfaces". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for growing. We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to embrace proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our strategic e-commerce but our power to deliver. Do you have a plan to become scalable, front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Widgets International is the industry leader of magnetic methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge architectures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to deliver compellingly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. The performance factor is real-world, e-business. We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to reinvent compellingly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our communities but our power to visualize. It seems unclear, but it's true! The power to deploy iteravely leads to the aptitude to redefine iteravely. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. Think frictionless, 24/7/365. Think strategic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also redefine strategically. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to brand proactively. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capacity to evolve. The TQC factor is frictionless. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to leverage seamlessly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.