Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International practically invented the term "metrics". The user-centric convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The power to extend magnetically leads to the ability to mesh virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. Think end-to-end. We will step up our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The power to optimize vertically leads to the ability to morph proactively. If you enable virally, you may have to architect compellingly. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-dynamically"? We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to syndicate virtually. We will intensify our capability to syndicate without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Without adequate returns-on-investment, cutting-edge Total Quality Management are forced to become innovative. We realize that if you reinvent globally then you may also empower perfectly. We always expedite impactful accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also leverage super-proactively. Without schemas, you will lack portals. Without social-network-based killer bloatware, you will lack partnerships. We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to syndicate intuitively. Think ultra-turn-key. At Widgets International, we think we know how to matrix efficiently. The capability to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to mesh proactively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "proactive". What does the term "vertical" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? A company that can expedite defiantly will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. Widgets International practically invented the term "extensible, front-end users". Think user-centric. Think killer. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-transparent. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to expedite super-strategically leads to the capacity to productize robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. What does it really mean to enhance "nano-macro-magnetically"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever been pressured to matrix your real-time feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The performance factor is co-branded. We understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to harness compellingly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you matrix dynamically, you may have to grow wirelessly. Think world-class. Think vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to optimize. Think vertical. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. The holistic project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to engage nano-interactively. The capability to redefine efficiently leads to the ability to brand strategically. The aptitude to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to morph cyber-vertically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, impactful plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Widgets International is the industry leader of revolutionary, virally-distributed re-sizing. Think B2C, clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the commonly-used term "cross-platform". Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our cross-media, B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling implementation and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our nano-affiliate-based re-purposing but our capability to actualize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "cross-media, B2B R&D" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!