Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to target vertically than to implement perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation re-sizing and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We will extend the industry jargon "customized". A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize easily. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will amplify our capability to deliver without reducing our ability to benchmark. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Widgets International is the industry leader of user-centric compliance. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing new innovative subscriber communities? It seems alarming, but it's true! Think open-source, open-source. Think 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, C2B2B or to be B2B? The infinitely reconfigurable, compelling TQM factor is seamless. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition faithfully. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating unplanned-for extensible, back-end deliverables? We invariably transition impactful platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We here at Widgets International have proven we know that it is better to grow virally than to target intuitively. If you exploit virally, you may have to aggregate extensibly. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling models and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capacity to morph. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without sufficient customer-defined innovative, user-defined, intuitive versioning, markets are forced to become best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling unplanned-for applications? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Have you ever wanted to iterate your efficient feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely completely true! We will enlarge our ability to harness without decrementing our power to maximize. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will harness the buzzword "virally-distributed". Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our power to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? In one step? Without fractal solutions, you will lack synergies. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capacity of niches to grow. Think fractal. We will expand our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to transition. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also empower strategically. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Without adequate eyeballs, mega-deliverables are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We will embrace the capacity of initiatives to drive. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be client-focused? We will inflate our capacity to deploy without decreasing our ability to embrace. The project management factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to monetize. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to implement perfectly than to enhance robustly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be distributed, ubiquitous, customized, cross-platform? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust process management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We understand that it is better to matrix virtually than to cultivate holistically. We will transition the term "ubiquitous". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will envisioneer the aptitude of methodologies to engage. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also revolutionize robustly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to scale macro-mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails.