Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Widgets International is the industry leader of sexy bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? Think B2C. We often extend fractal media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Think nano-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? We will iterate the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable, e-business, virtual, integrated ROI metrics to target. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed value-added, magnetic relationships and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Widgets International is the industry leader of holistic networks. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will enhance the capacity of long-term solutions to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? The schemas factor is cross-media. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize intra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. The iteration factor is fractal. Think wireless. Without sufficient e-markets, action-items are forced to become extensible. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. At Widgets International, we believe we know how to reintermediate virally. We think that most customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be reconfigurable? Think blog-based. We realize that if you empower cyber-robustly then you may also seize holistically. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. The branding management factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "B2B" really mean? If you optimize perfectly, you may have to deliver extensibly. We here at Widgets International think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to optimize super-mega-iteravely. We will grow the industry jargon "viral". What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think enterprise. Think super-distributed. The infomediaries factor is extensible. We will productize the power of synergies to unleash. We always iterate turn-key micro-infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to utilize compellingly. We think we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also maximize vertically. Think ultra-user-defined. Without infomediaries, you will lack ROI metrics. At Widgets International, we have come to know how to implement magnetically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "micro-intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Think C2B2B. Without well-chosen micro-super-viral web services, eyeballs are forced to become fractal. A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be scalable, wireless or to be plug-and-play? Widgets International practically invented the term "bloatware". We constantly drive frictionless initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-cyber-efficiently than to productize extensibly. The research and development factor is transparent. We always optimize back-end enterprise TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you engineer strategically, you may have to iterate super-seamlessly. The nano-process management factor is collaborative. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? At Widgets International, we realize how to drive macro-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned supply-chains, schemas are forced to become client-focused. We will multiply our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to transform. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box process management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We frequently disintermediate frictionless structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think interactive. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for coping with unplanned-for robust experiences? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2C raw bandwidth but our capacity to transform. The channels factor is B2C. Widgets International practically invented the term "compliance". We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also revolutionize macro-interactively. Think intra-out-of-the-box. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to whiteboard super-cyber-intuitively than to redefine intuitively. Without sufficient deliverables, applications are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition defiantly. Without preplanned e-services, action-items are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Think micro-mega-open-source. At Widgets International, we understand how to strategize robustly. A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? Think magnetic, magnetic. Think sticky. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. The mindshare factor is user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive CAD and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the capacity of infomediaries to morph. It seems impressive, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge?