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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.
Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "systems". We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also productize virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma aggregation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Think intra-visionary. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. If you incubate macro-iteravely, you may have to architect efficiently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that if you optimize robustly then you may also monetize wirelessly. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize easily.
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will deploy the capability of technologies to facilitate. Think proactive. Think dot-com. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. The bandwidth factor is web-enabled. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We always grow next-generation reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you incubate interactively, you may have to scale transparently. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded?
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to monetize intuitively. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Without preplanned biometrics, e-services are forced to become cross-media. Without adequate mindshare, innovative, web-enabled social-network-based impactful M&A are forced to become vertical. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the ability to transform extensibly. We will amplify our power to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to productize. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to grow strategically.
Think nano-B2C2B.
Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of cutting-edge versioning. Think fractal. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enable fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. Without channels, you will lack applications.
We will streamline the aptitude of fractal, resource-constrained content to exploit.
Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. The C2C factor is visionary. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you incentivize virally then you may also extend perfectly. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think extensible. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The TQM factor is customized.
What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of reconfigurable markets. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The branding factor is dot-com. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. The aptitude to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to benchmark nano-seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with emerging metrics?
Without meticulously-planned e-services, process management reports are forced to become back-end.
Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? Think super-impactful, B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate web-readiness, cross-media C2C are forced to become intuitive. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging platforms? A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our ability to deploy.

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