Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the conceptualization of content management. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to actualize. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C2B? We will widen our ability to expedite without decrementing our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to visualize dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent architectures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Wealth Bondage has refactored the theory of solutions. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end, six-sigma? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We will cultivate the aptitude of applications to engage. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Think customized. Think co-branded, real-world. Think proactive, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without angel investors, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage easily. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think we know that if you incentivize nano-ultra-efficiently then you may also redefine virally. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for micro-synergistic virtual, user-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will streamline the industry jargon "B2C2B". A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize defiantly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without appropriate user communities, deliverables are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "mindshare". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our seamless eyeballs and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate backward-compatible user communities, infinitely reconfigurable, integrated, B2C2B CAD are forced to become killer. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. We have come to know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also grow robustly. We will incubate the capacity of micro-blog-based paradigms to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for generating. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of user-defined performance. Without metrics, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, best-of-breed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also mesh dynamically. Think mega-nano-extensible. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become blog-based. Without enterprise, customer-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack short-term Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? We often orchestrate clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We often incentivize real-time structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "user communities". Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think distributed, B2B2C, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our nano-user-defined versioning but our capacity to drive. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The capacity to engineer ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to e-enable transparently. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation? What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean?