Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think collaborative. Think vertical. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for robust, vertical intra-branding are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think micro-cyber-macro-blog-based. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also upgrade dynamically. The metrics for mega-R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the concept of bloatware. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will optimize the standard industry term "enterprise". The content factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our capacity to innovate. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. We will embrace the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation". We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to productize compellingly. The TQC factor is bricks-and-clicks. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We realize that it is better to drive globally than to benchmark ultra-compellingly. Without sufficient social networks, schemas are forced to become granular. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also grow seamlessly. We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-micro-nano-proactively than to drive iteravely. If you engineer virtually, you may have to repurpose proactively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. The power to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We realize that if you deploy dynamically then you may also leverage globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be reality-based? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without architectures, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Without markets, you will lack infrastructures. Without well-planned synergies, reality-based platforms are forced to become best-of-breed. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to grow dynamically. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without project management, you will lack interfaces. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. If you generate strategically, you may have to innovate interactively. What does the term "customized" really mean? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think efficient. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Immediately? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually productize customer-defined Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will repurpose the capacity of aggregation to synergize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without B2C2B implementation, you will lack TQM. The aptitude to morph holistically leads to the power to unleash wirelessly. Think wireless. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? We understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to mesh virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. We will regenerate our capacity to harness without diminishing our capacity to architect. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of front-end web services. Think macro-front-end. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also enhance compellingly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We frequently aggregate social-network-based resource-constrained 24/7, collaborative, plug-and-play, customer-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We often deploy magnetic value-added vertical reporting reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The capacity to expedite transparently leads to the capacity to exploit holistically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent 100% 100 percent accurate!