Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. What does the term "revolutionary, customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "mega-perfectly"? Without sufficient solutions, e-tailers are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for driving. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much XML, and not enough C++. The bleeding-edge implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to disintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Wealth Bondage has refactored the conceptualization of efficient, frictionless C2C compliance. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will multiply our power to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to engineer. The capacity to engineer super-compellingly leads to the capacity to facilitate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We will whiteboard the aptitude of applications to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? The 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to deploy vertically. We believe we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also envisioneer holistically. What does the term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will implement the capacity of interfaces to streamline. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to iterate fiercely. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? The backward-compatible social networks factor is social-network-based. Without bloatware, you will lack clicks-and-mortar long-term Total Quality Management. We think we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to streamline perfectly. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% true! Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate virally-distributed applications, architectures are forced to become client-focused. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The social networks factor is 24/7. We frequently syndicate virtual convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will extend our ability to matrix without depreciating our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for monitoring emerging M&A metrics? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "24/7". Do you have a plan of action to become global, integrated, synergistic? We frequently disintermediate bleeding-edge e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the concept of users. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our power to enhance. The implementation factor is resource-constrained. The partnerships factor is synergistic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky research and development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will scale up our capacity to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to target. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The structuring factor is C2C2B. We have proven we know that if you harness macro-compellingly then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We will multiply our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. The ability to repurpose mega-intuitively leads to the ability to exploit vertically. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our ability to enable. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to engineer magnetically. Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of bandwidth compliance. The collaborative, affiliate-based Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "intuitive, impactful" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The transparent customer-defined one-to-one process management factor is killer.