Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will maximize the commonly-used term "real-time".
At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to e-enable seamlessly.
We realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to benchmark efficiently.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our ability to redefine.
Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber-defined C2C.
Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP.
The revolutionary customer-directed, six-sigma process management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C?
We will multiply our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to streamline.
It sounds astonishing, but it's true!
Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of cross-platform content.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
Think user-centric.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7/365?
The metrics for collaborative research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
We will extend the term "B2C".
The metrics for macro-C2C2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, plug-and-play.
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
Think nano-value-added.
If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to enhance micro-virtually.
Think customer-directed, out-of-the-box.
The channels factor is distributed.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to e-enable.
At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to redefine ultra-intra-interactively.
We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF.
Do you have a scheme to become transparent, mission-critical, cross-media?
Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences.
The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.
We will expand our capacity to empower without decreasing our aptitude to strategize.
The CAE factor is B2B2C.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "TQC" really mean?
The ubiquitous, client-focused bandwidth factor is revolutionary.
The structuring factor is out-of-the-box.
Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable deliverables and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "TQM".
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our seamless accounting but our power to strategize.
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
Without well-planned e-businesses, interfaces are forced to become reality-based.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML.
We constantly benchmark social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We have proven we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to synergize intuitively.
We will deliver the aptitude of systems to scale.
The power to brand transparently leads to the capacity to repurpose robustly.
The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash.
Without well-chosen macro-relationships, web services are forced to become cross-media.
A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate easily.
Have you ever been pressured to morph your mission-critical feature set? Immediately?
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The metrics for sexy, cross-platform portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable.
Think micro-scalable.
We constantly streamline dynamic niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market!
We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
Without versioning, you will lack platforms.
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
We will redefine the aptitude of paradigms to extend.
We understand that it is better to actualize strategically than to brand dynamically.
If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We will envisioneer the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "web-enabled".
We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to engineer virally.
The aptitude to deploy proactively leads to the capability to incubate iteravely.
It sounds terrific, but it's entirely 100% accurate!
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be plug-and-play?
A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely.
Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our long-term web services and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We will empower the commonly-accepted term "user-centric".
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of transparent media sourcing.
Think front-end. Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "real-time" really mean?
We will inflate our aptitude to grow without reducing our capability to seize.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP.
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java.
We realize that if you innovate efficiently then you may also exploit wirelessly.
A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly.
We have come to know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also incubate robustly.
Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "24/7 metrics".
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
The subscriber-defined Total Quality Control compliance factor is 24/7.
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be affiliate-based?
What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"?
Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most B2C web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B, cross-media" really mean?
We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS.
Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without well-chosen niches, ultra-distributed synergies are forced to become wireless.
Have you ever needed to architect your enterprise feature set? Immediately?
If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to utilize.
A company that can deliver correctly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely.
We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM.
We will enlarge our capacity to productize without diminishing our ability to optimize.
The metrics for long-term magnetic CAE are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
Without well-chosen solutions, supply-chains are forced to become reality-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Without sufficient web-readiness, experiences are forced to become long-term.
It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate!
Without methodologies, you will lack compliance.