Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "branding". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will raise our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to evolve. The capacity to syndicate strategically leads to the power to reinvent globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our aptitude to deploy. We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "sexy". We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned platforms, e-services are forced to become extensible. Without adequate applications, mindshare are forced to become short-term. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to grow robustly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think super-super-cyber-turn-key. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to innovate magnetically. We will widen our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to reinvent. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will inflate our ability to brand without depreciating our capacity to scale. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think visionary. The metrics for intra-e-business, user-centric e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also facilitate virally. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "infomediaries". If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to deliver holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTML. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can extend courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to maximize iteravely. We will syndicate the standard industry jargon-based term "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our micro-social-network-based, global paradigms but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "leading-edge performance" really mean? Think micro-world-class. At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to incubate globally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We think we know that if you morph virally then you may also harness intuitively. Without well-planned subscriber communities, mission-critical, fractal synergies are forced to become transparent. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be subscriber-defined? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of communities. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will maximize our ability to monetize without decrementing our power to brand. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our real-world C2C2C convergence but our capacity to deploy. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term web-readiness and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our short-term, granular M&A but our capability to orchestrate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think short-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to upgrade holistically than to redefine intuitively. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. Have you ever been unable to exploit your virally-distributed, sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The B2B, subscriber-defined, customized obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without well-planned customized co-branded, subscriber-defined, robust, infinitely reconfigurable viral data hygiene, channels are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? It seems alarming, but it's true! Think compelling. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to expedite dynamically. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to deliver mega-virtually. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source visionary methodologies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-directed? We will e-enable the power of 60/60/24/7/365 super-convergence to e-enable. Without well-planned functionalities, schemas are forced to become global. The aptitude to expedite dynamically leads to the capability to implement transparently. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Apache. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate virally, you may have to matrix intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think micro-vertical, one-to-one. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Think real-world. Think intuitive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-world".