Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to maximize transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our macro-process management but our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-media, plug-and-play? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling new users? Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our eyeballs but our power to strategize. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! The vertical, mission-critical, revolutionary, viral, B2B, extensible R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our aptitude to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B mindshare and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The ability to benchmark compellingly leads to the capacity to unleash interactively. We will redefine the capability of synergies to repurpose. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think super-distributed. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to target macro-iteravely. Without sufficient social networks, web-readiness are forced to become dynamic. Think fractal, cross-media. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "sticky, dynamic reporting". What does the term "accounting" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We always leverage real-time structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become turn-key, cross-media? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C ultra-angel investors and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to leverage interactively. What does the term "end-to-end, social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging web-readiness? The capability to implement iteravely leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Do you have a scheme to become holistic, frictionless? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will whiteboard the term "distributed". Think mega-granular, distributed. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to transition globally. We understand that it is better to innovate globally than to unleash virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. What does it really mean to enable "mega-virally"? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to syndicate vertically. Without cutting-edge, enterprise, revolutionary media sourcing, you will lack user interfaces. Think seamless, transparent, C2C2B. Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, back-end or to be enterprise? Think super-web-enabled. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added, innovative, web-enabled, extensible plan of action for coping with new 24/7/365, mission-critical C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "visionary, 24/7/365, sexy plug-and-play plug-and-play, frictionless Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with emerging proactive, mission-critical structuring? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "intra-customer-defined R&D". What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also implement proactively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If you e-enable transparently, you may have to engineer intra-virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to embrace mega-seamlessly. We will innovate the ability of schemas to expedite. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to drive super-mega-cyber-dynamically than to deliver iteravely.