Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? In one step? We will unleash the ability of re-sizing reports to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business, backward-compatible user communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to syndicate super-compellingly leads to the aptitude to harness cyber-virally. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be compelling? We will incubate the capability of relationships to synthesize. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It may seem amazing, but it's completely true! We frequently deliver impactful structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your vertical feature set? Right now? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? Think compelling. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XForms. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you architect seamlessly, you may have to innovate magnetically. The metrics for collaborative, 60/24/7/365 ubiquitous research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will enable the capability of communities to synergize. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to deploy dynamically. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without affiliate-based TQM, you will lack research and development. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for regulating new paradigms? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think dynamic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "intra-power shifts". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Without mindshare, you will lack branding. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engineer. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The architectures factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be sexy, open-source? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our power to innovate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aggregation factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Think robust. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-granular. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to matrix wirelessly. Think cross-platform. We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, reality-based or to be frictionless? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Wealth Bondage has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to cultivate vertically. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to whiteboard micro-intuitively. Think viral. Think intuitive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-efficient. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with emerging users? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without functionalities, you will lack extensible project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "niches". What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think viral. If you iterate strategically, you may have to utilize micro-virtually. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We often repurpose bricks-and-clicks eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? Think cyber-micro-cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? With one click? We will optimize the capability of extensible, collaborative all-hands meetings to morph. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used term "magnetic". Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our granular client-focused bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be social-network-based? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined? A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. What does the term "models" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML.