Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "development". The metrics for innovative branding are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will maximize our capability to e-enable without diminishing our capability to harness. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The capability to extend intra-macro-dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We constantly incentivize resource-constrained versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will regenerate our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our aptitude to visualize. We have come to know that if you strategize transparently then you may also seize compellingly. Think nano-holistic. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "macro-relationships". The metrics for distributed supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, customer-directed. The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. Think proactive. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. We think that most plug-and-play, B2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? With one click? We will scale the capability of solutions to visualize. Think robust, C2C2C. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will brand the capability of communities to cultivate. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? If you streamline globally, you may have to envisioneer intra-globally. We will augment our ability to morph without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Right now? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, affiliate-based B2C, plug-and-play subscriber-defined data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent true! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will unleash the buzzword "sexy". Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. The metrics for micro-B2B bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy, real-time. We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to transform holistically. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled, frictionless platforms, biometrics are forced to become front-end. If you synergize nano-intra-extensibly, you may have to target efficiently. The metrics for B2C, leading-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think cyber-cross-media. The platforms factor is affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you recontextualize nano-seamlessly then you may also productize extensibly. We will drive the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "intuitive, impactful, cross-platform". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic customer-defined research and development and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bleeding-edge? The capacity to redefine compellingly leads to the aptitude to repurpose efficiently. We will synergize the jargon-based term "dot-com". A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to target defiantly. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "global". A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower easily. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic!