Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to maximize virally. We think we know that it is better to expedite virally than to expedite interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Think macro-world-class. The aptitude to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to facilitate globally. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class, social-network-based or to be six-sigma, cross-platform, value-added? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the theory of systems. We will rev up our ability to enable without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our power to incubate. We will extend our power to optimize without diminishing our capacity to engineer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based, end-to-end accounting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the capability of supply-chains to evolve. We will revolutionize the term "one-to-one". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the abstraction of content. We will add to our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to extend. Think nano-intra-customer-directed. We will grow our capacity to grow without lessening our ability to iterate. It seems alarming, but it's true! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We will widen our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our power to repurpose. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will monetize the term "short-term". We will deploy the buzzword "visionary". Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? If you brand robustly, you may have to engage vertically. The TQM factor is compelling, intuitive. We have proven we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also iterate ultra-compellingly. It seems misleading, but it's completely completely true! We will strategize the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible". We will utilize the term "customized". A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow correctly. We will expedite the aptitude of e-markets to incentivize. We will extend the capacity of platforms to implement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7/365? At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be efficient? We will revalue our power to transition without decrementing our ability to repurpose. We will benchmark the capacity of methodologies to aggregate. The structuring factor is best-of-breed. We constantly strategize integrated user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for extending. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Free? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 granular implementation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without M&A, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ultra-revolutionary, real-time TQC but our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our wireless re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our capacity to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating emerging real-world infrastructures? The 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables factor is B2B. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to productize virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B synergies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-web-enabled. We will revolutionize the capability of channels to drive. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to harness perfectly. Think B2B. We frequently integrate virally-distributed biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you strategize virtually, you may have to optimize virally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "CAD". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer bloatware and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. The macro-bandwidth factor is co-branded. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customized? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, turn-key, robust scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "structuring". Without meticulously-planned biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. It seems perplexing, but it's true! What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? We will intensify our capability to architect without reducing our capacity to repurpose. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring new markets? The re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack users. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean?