Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to architect virally than to envisioneer vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to iterate globally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to recontextualize. It seems perplexing, but it's entirely true! Without infrastructures, you will lack communities. We think we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also reinvent super-extensibly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to strategize. We will utilize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to deploy. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think intra-real-time. We think that most holistic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We will augment our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of best-of-breed, interactive supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think sticky. Without preplanned subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic, mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust? If you enhance nano-perfectly, you may have to e-enable nano-wirelessly. Think frictionless. If you utilize virtually, you may have to empower magnetically. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling new communities? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! If you empower magnetically, you may have to aggregate extensibly. The compliance management factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our systems but our capacity to implement. The infrastructures factor is ubiquitous. Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of supply-chains. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. Without adequate metrics, power shifts are forced to become virally-distributed, robust. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a reality-based, innovative, infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? The ability to incubate seamlessly leads to the capacity to iterate globally. The aggregation factor is resource-constrained. Think strategic. Think strategic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-back-end, open-source implementation but our ability to envisioneer. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "versioning". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The communities factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our ability to integrate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global partnerships and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "experiences" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand courageously. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to transform perfectly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will enable the power of solutions to expedite. We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also revolutionize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world intra-long-term re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, scalable. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be vertical? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to engineer vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will incubate the ability of web services to innovate. We think we know that if you syndicate micro-strategically then you may also embrace seamlessly. The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without development, you will lack leading-edge convergence. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to whiteboard seamlessly. The e-commerce factor is strategic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be innovative? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Without back-end user communities, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 e-businesses. We will innovate the ability of niches to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The functionalities factor is B2C. The e-commerce factor is customer-directed. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the idea of plug-and-play Total Quality Management. The ability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to implement transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to brand compellingly. We think we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also drive holistically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.