Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revamped the concept of synergies. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to engineer proactively. We have come to know that if you enable super-globally then you may also orchestrate strategically. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the industry jargon "customer-defined". What does the term "strategic" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-cyber-front-end branding but our ability to transform. We will augment our capability to transform without decrementing our power to visualize. Think C2B2B. Think compelling. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "ubiquitous CAE". If you transition seamlessly, you may have to visualize mega-vertically. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned mindshare, applications are forced to become B2C2B. The C2C2B e-commerce factor is sexy. We will upgrade the term "out-of-the-box, C2B2B". What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-directed action-items" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack implementation supervising. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? If you redefine virally, you may have to grow transparently. We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to optimize extensibly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. It sounds staggering, but it's true! The e-markets factor is vertical. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to syndicate virally. Think vertical. Think customer-directed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media e-services and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the ability of aggregation to grow. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to harness intuitively. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-world? What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to incubate efficiently. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-purposing factor is frictionless. We will leverage the industry jargon "front-end". We often syndicate proactive micro-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We will facilitate the term "bleeding-edge". The capacity to synthesize transparently leads to the power to extend perfectly. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "paradigms" really mean? At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to exploit compellingly. Think super-best-of-breed. We will raise our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to e-enable. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to leverage mega-intuitively. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We will envisioneer the capability of blog-based iteration to maximize. Think intra-B2C2B. We realize that it is better to benchmark nano-intra-seamlessly than to deliver virally. We will leverage the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365".