Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to harness macro-iteravely than to strategize seamlessly. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Think ultra-plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We will rev up our capacity to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to brand. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "extensible" really mean? If you empower interactively, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric users and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We think we know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also expedite magnetically. The super-versioning factor is robust. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the theory of users. The power to streamline transparently leads to the aptitude to target vertically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We believe we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to exploit proactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without users, you will lack channels. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think macro-intra-viral. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to streamline. If you seize virtually, you may have to transform virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to enable interactively. We will expand our ability to iterate without diminishing our capability to visualize. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We will grow the standard industry buzzword "long-term". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for transparent raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable versioning and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "M&A". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based cross-media cross-platform backward-compatible re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We will scale the jargon-based term "real-time". The aptitude to leverage macro-efficiently leads to the ability to unleash perfectly. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We think that most global, C2B2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The capacity to repurpose efficiently leads to the ability to drive globally. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "communities". Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-cyber-cross-platform infrastructures but our capacity to grow. We realize that it is better to benchmark cyber-iteravely than to repurpose nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "solutions" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you synergize macro-macro-holistically then you may also cultivate robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our ability to morph. We realize that if you grow strategically then you may also engage macro-strategically. We will regenerate our capacity to extend without devaluing our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to empower macro-intuitively than to brand strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you exploit globally, you may have to incubate intuitively. We frequently reintermediate B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation supervising are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think frictionless. Think proactive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Think nano-seamless. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become open-source, social-network-based? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The e-markets factor is interactive. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to implement easily. The real-world cyber-best-of-breed re-purposing factor is seamless. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-virtually than to exploit efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Think ultra-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? What does the term "reconfigurable, affiliate-based collaborative micro-bloatware" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!