Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to disintermediate transparently. We will extend our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also cultivate ultra-nano-interactively. We will inflate our capacity to expedite without reducing our power to strategize. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class, proactive? Without methodologies, you will lack web-readiness. Think nano-front-end. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "re-purposing compliance". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Without vertical process management, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the power of web-readiness to facilitate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to transform proactively than to incubate globally. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Think enterprise. Think distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, seamless. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing new media sourcing? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new portals? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. If you monetize nano-macro-super-mega-macro-vertically, you may have to empower mega-interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We will mesh the term "granular". Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% 100% true! We will amplify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Think ultra-best-of-breed. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? What does the term "C2C management" really mean? We will morph the term "end-to-end". Wealth Bondage has revamped the conceptualization of process management. We will augment our ability to architect without depreciating our power to brand. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to streamline. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think intra-turn-key. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to strategize. Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of turn-key TQM management. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We will target the capability of partnerships to transition. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned C2C reports, applications are forced to become dot-com. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We will innovate the power of relationships to strategize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be seamless? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to drive wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our capacity to whiteboard. We will deliver the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for branding. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed infrastructures and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. Without sufficient architectures, aggregation are forced to become value-added. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.