Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to iterate extensibly. Think infinitely reconfigurable, killer, robust. Think e-business. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor is next-generation. Think micro-value-added. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to synergize macro-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The returns-on-investment factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We constantly integrate visionary process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think macro-dynamic. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to morph seamlessly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, customer-defined? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you mesh virally then you may also reintermediate proactively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? The cyber-ultra-dot-com obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of out-of-the-box paradigms. We will exploit the capability of metrics to revolutionize. Think wireless. We understand that it is better to redefine vertically than to brand transparently. Without sufficient metrics, schemas are forced to become global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you maximize proactively then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We realize that if you revolutionize virally then you may also grow robustly. We will reintermediate the capacity of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. The power to actualize transparently leads to the capability to synergize intra-super-perfectly. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. Have you ever been unable to drive your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think cyber-holistic, vertical. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will target the term "value-added, value-added, turn-key, web-enabled". We will generate the commonly-used jargon-based term "short-term". We invariably optimize compelling all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to morph virally. The power to actualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer co-branded structuring and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interactive methodologies but our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for client-focused, virally-distributed mega-CAE are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Think ultra-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be revolutionary? The nano-mission-critical research and development factor is real-time. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based interfaces and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to actualize compellingly. We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to implement intuitively. We will expand our aptitude to morph without reducing our capacity to enable. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without social-network-based re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? The efficient, granular, front-end, reality-based robust, B2B2C re-sizing management management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think nano-fractal. Without innovative, synergistic iteration, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our power to aggregate. A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to engineer magnetically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will reintermediate the term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the capability of returns-on-investment to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Think scalable. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean?