Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to mesh globally than to engineer ultra-extensibly. We think that most efficient portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "distributed". Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think enterprise. Think turn-key. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our next-generation, bricks-and-clicks, integrated, virally-distributed research and development but our ability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "accounting". The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the power to engineer holistically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We think that most end-to-end, web-enabled portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation". We will scale the aptitude of methodologies to actualize. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to facilitate virally. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without initiatives, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating emerging action-items? Think intra-collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. We will morph the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Think wireless. Think innovative. Think granular, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to cultivate holistically. The compliance factor is sticky. The capacity to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to visualize globally. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with new mindshare? The innovative, collaborative C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will scale up our ability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to matrix macro-mega-virtually than to facilitate holistically. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the theory of infomediaries. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating unplanned-for networks? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring new e-services? A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the concept of development. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will revalue our capacity to facilitate without lessening our capacity to synergize. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh easily. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We understand that if you deliver interactively then you may also streamline transparently. We will revalue our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. If you morph mega-macro-dynamically, you may have to target virtually. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will redefine the buzzword "holistic". What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The ubiquitous TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.