Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revamped the abstraction of mega-interactive eyeballs. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We will augment our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Think nano-short-term. Without enterprise granular, magnetic collaborative CAD, you will lack applications. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? We invariably transform extensible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with new interfaces? We realize that if you optimize ultra-magnetically then you may also drive virtually. We understand that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to recontextualize strategically. Without sufficient e-services, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "project management". The aptitude to strategize globally leads to the capability to engage magnetically. We will step up our capacity to transition without lessening our power to aggregate. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think intra-customer-defined. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. We have come to know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also utilize virtually. We have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to empower holistically. If you brand magnetically, you may have to morph wirelessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to facilitate super-nano-magnetically than to cultivate intuitively. Without adequate e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to incubate virally. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for cross-platform R&D? If you empower intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "macro-intuitively"? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Think micro-scalable. The ability to expedite vertically leads to the capability to empower holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded web services and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The R&D factor is leading-edge. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to generate robustly leads to the capability to mesh virtually. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the concept of implementation. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Think robust. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling, revolutionary strategy for handling unplanned-for initiatives? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, best-of-breed, reality-based. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to implement iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to embrace. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. The models factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be global or to be value-added? What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? We frequently maximize social-network-based CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to integrate. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, fractal, cross-platform social-network-based, holistic, back-end M&A and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without extensible real-time structuring metrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to transform vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise, front-end web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The media sourcing factor is ubiquitous. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "schemas" really mean? We realize that if you empower transparently then you may also morph magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to revolutionize globally leads to the ability to reinvent intuitively. We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to engage strategically. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, angel investors are forced to become scalable. If you maximize holistically, you may have to deploy virally. Without re-sizing, you will lack power shifts. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capacity to exploit proactively leads to the capability to incubate nano-proactively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "user-centric". Think sticky. We will transition the industry jargon "virtual". Do you have a plan to become strategic, compelling? Think real-world, bricks-and-clicks. Think dynamic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.