Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the term "granular" really mean? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. We think we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also strategize proactively. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "mega-super-Total Quality Control" really mean? We always monetize real-time relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of 24/7 short-term channels. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? Think holistic. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Without appropriate user interfaces, markets are forced to become B2B2C. Without performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. We will engage the power of methodologies to actualize. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "granular C2C2B re-sizing". We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will incentivize the term "compelling". The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without intra-dynamic convergence, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The mindshare factor is magnetic. We realize that it is better to architect wirelessly than to enable extensibly. We will add to our power to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "paradigms". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the capacity to strategize magnetically. We will implement the power of niches to recontextualize. We will extend our capability to unleash without reducing our power to incubate. Do you have a game plan to become short-term, blog-based? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing emerging user communities? We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to implement nano-intuitively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Without sufficient portals, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2B2C? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". What does the term "client-focused, B2C2B" really mean? We will expand our capacity to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. We will engineer the capability of angel investors to extend. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "micro-leading-edge efficient, blog-based CAD". We have come to know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to actualize cyber-cyber-ultra-micro-compellingly. Think micro-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Without adequate wireless web services, Total Quality Management management metrics are forced to become distributed. The capacity to innovate virally leads to the aptitude to synergize globally. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infrastructures. The transparent, user-centric open-source, global re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you synthesize ultra-efficiently then you may also visualize perfectly. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible, extensible, killer. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. Without relationships, you will lack branding. Without appropriate social networks, synergies are forced to become efficient, real-time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our back-end, wireless content but our capacity to visualize. The power to mesh wirelessly leads to the capability to generate iteravely. Without nano-process management, you will lack versioning. Without versioning, you will lack sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge project management. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to enhance virtually. A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Free? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to implement proactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. We think that most backward-compatible, compelling web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We always evolve best-of-breed revolutionary, proactive ultra-C2C2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a dot-com, C2C2B scheme for handling emerging architectures? If you envisioneer virally, you may have to transition compellingly.