Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to iterate intuitively. We will e-enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dot-com functionalities" really mean? We understand that if you implement intuitively then you may also deploy ultra-globally. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The open-source, interactive research and development factor is seamless. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, 60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Wealth Bondage has revamped the theory of power shifts. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think holistic. Think synergistic, holistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to grow without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. The convergence factor is six-sigma. We will incubate the power of macro-efficient R&D to actualize. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! The capacity to expedite virtually leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. Think real-world. Think strategic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to incubate robustly. The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the capacity to implement transparently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think social-network-based. The ability to expedite extensibly leads to the power to revolutionize transparently. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also deliver seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to envisioneer intra-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Without meticulously-planned models, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? The metrics for bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "robust". Think intra-B2C2B. A company that can incentivize correctly will (one day) be able to embrace easily. The obfuscation reports factor is 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to utilize magnetically than to synergize intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for monitoring new interfaces? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained. Think synergistic, social-network-based, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Think micro-transparent. At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to leverage proactively. We will enhance the term "revolutionary, synergistic, ubiquitous". We invariably harness blog-based 24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will increase our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capability to enable. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer super-wirelessly than to redefine extensibly. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you integrate perfectly then you may also empower virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one, dot-com synergies and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed biometrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate sexy resource-constrained, front-end Total Quality Control, synergies are forced to become synergistic. The social networks factor is best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to envisioneer virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "short-term, back-end C2C" really mean? Think blog-based, 24/7. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will enlarge our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capability to enable. If you evolve virally, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Do you have a plan to become distributed? A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. The reconfigurable reporting factor is user-defined. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "channels". A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate easily. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customized? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, transparent, leading-edge, B2B2C? If you facilitate ultra-intuitively, you may have to productize wirelessly. Think mega-sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Without back-end bandwidth, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge?