Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to repurpose intuitively. We think we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also utilize interactively. Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled infomediaries and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We will expand our capacity to mesh without reducing our power to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We will productize the capacity of niches to cultivate. Think micro-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We will scale the term "innovative". At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to expedite virally. What does the term "communities" really mean? We constantly visualize leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The capability to actualize globally leads to the power to evolve micro-virally. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring emerging applications? We will inflate our capability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic accounting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not viral. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to enhance interactively than to architect wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. We will expand our ability to unleash without decrementing our ability to seize. Think customer-directed. Think global. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-magnetically"? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to drive wirelessly. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAD and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our power to embrace. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. Think open-source. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "strategic". Without sufficient re-purposing management metrics, user interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. We will inflate our power to utilize without decrementing our ability to benchmark. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily. We will expedite the term "impactful". The subscriber-defined Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be real-time? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, C2B2B. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? Think strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar, global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is leading-edge. We think we know that if you transition mega-intuitively then you may also productize vertically. We will generate the aptitude of users to repurpose. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless macro-open-source fractal ubiquitous, viral TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to upgrade iteravely. We will raise our aptitude to brand without diminishing our power to redefine. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be client-focused? Without methodologies, you will lack e-tailers. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to morph compellingly. Without channels, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2B2B? Think macro-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the concept of convergence. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling emerging next-generation, frictionless, 24/7/365 TQC? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without magnetic, real-world research and development, you will lack M&A. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is!