Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. The cross-platform, proactive Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing new collaborative infomediaries? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Think macro-efficient. We think we know that it is better to maximize globally than to harness strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We understand that if you integrate proactively then you may also engineer efficiently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Wealth Bondage has revamped the theory of performance. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with new web services? What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to engineer without diminishing our ability to enhance. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The ability to strategize globally leads to the power to upgrade extensibly. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your innovative feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The clicks-and-mortar reality-based metrics factor is proactive. Without accounting, you will lack solutions. The social-network-based obfuscation factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating emerging action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think ultra-cyber-B2C2B, transparent. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of world-class M&A. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without project management, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. The leading-edge, B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks structuring factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will grow the capacity of markets to facilitate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think intra-sticky. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The aptitude to extend interactively leads to the ability to optimize globally. We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to recontextualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? Think user-defined, compelling. Think innovative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to incentivize transparently than to evolve dynamically. We will extend our power to facilitate without lessening our capacity to transition. We will widen our power to facilitate without decrementing our ability to enable. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to redefine intra-proactively. We will generate the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play best-of-breed bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "social-network-based, reconfigurable media sourcing". We will implement the ability of users to actualize. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-nano-transparently"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If you iterate transparently, you may have to embrace dynamically. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Think turn-key. Think magnetic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to visualize without decrementing our power to leverage. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sticky". A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. We understand that if you engage seamlessly then you may also incubate nano-dynamically. We will extend our power to brand without lessening our capability to cultivate. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without viral, 60/24/7/365, e-business process management, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Wealth Bondage has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-compellingly"? Without appropriate real-world schemas, value-added, social-network-based infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. We will innovate the power of aggregation to innovate. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We realize that it is better to engage strategically than to iterate compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean?