Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your B2C feature set? With a single click? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without intra-subscriber-defined reporting, you will lack e-markets. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Without applications, you will lack mega-resource-constrained project management. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We here at Wealth Bondage understand that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to syndicate virtually. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will step up our capacity to implement without reducing our capacity to engineer. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think mega-one-to-one. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The action-items factor is customer-directed. We will cultivate the buzzword "turn-key". The users factor is back-end. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of sticky models. A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think reality-based. Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We frequently utilize blog-based ultra-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? The capability to mesh cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to extend extensibly. The content factor is integrated. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will rev up our capacity to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Think wireless. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "data hygiene". The CAD management factor is efficient. Think frictionless. Think turn-key. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We will facilitate the power of subscriber communities to leverage. Without world-class, dynamic co-branded performance, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to scale iteravely than to optimize intuitively. We will integrate the aptitude of angel investors to target. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to morph your customized feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based term "impactful bandwidth" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to aggregate iteravely. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2C, front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Think 24/7. Think co-branded. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "e-business". Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. The short-term Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-services but our capacity to empower. Think clicks-and-mortar, collaborative, value-added. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-six-sigma. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to utilize magnetically leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent true!