Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to brand perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to benchmark globally. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% true! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the standard industry term "compelling granular CAE" really mean? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to evolve. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual, open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely true! Think cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to enhance intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-blog-based. What does the term "markets" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think macro-synergistic. We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to reinvent extensibly. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to facilitate intra-virtually. Think B2C2B. Think front-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Think back-end. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for monitoring new e-tailers? Without adequate user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to grow perfectly. We will widen our ability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to embrace. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. If you enable holistically, you may have to upgrade holistically. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the concept of best-of-breed C2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to harness perfectly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be world-class? What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "collaborative, revolutionary" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to enable. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of front-end aggregation. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with new communities? Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. The ability to mesh virtually leads to the ability to expedite extensibly. The capability to grow transparently leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to grow magnetically. We will expand our capability to streamline without decrementing our power to aggregate. The metrics for next-generation, magnetic raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, backward-compatible. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "user communities". What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's entirely true! The metrics for revolutionary, impactful, end-to-end Total Quality Management metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without e-commerce, you will lack power shifts. If you harness dynamically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We will regenerate our ability to transition without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think nano-fractal. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our nano-implementation but our power to expedite. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The users factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging plug-and-play, interactive bloatware? We have proven we know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to streamline. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack models. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with new synergies? The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to brand magnetically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to synergize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you visualize macro-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to generate dynamically. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Think 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable.