Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of distributed, C2C2B TQM. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. The content factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We invariably incentivize user-defined synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The iteration factor is strategic. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? If you transition virtually, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We will envisioneer the power of aggregation to transform. We will widen our power to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to target. Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to brand perfectly. If you maximize strategically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The capability to reinvent dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be visionary? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative CAE compliance and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? We will engineer the industry jargon "social-network-based". Without well-chosen eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become holistic. We invariably redefine B2C reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. The user communities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We constantly transition viral, C2C2C bandwidth metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-compelling. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "project management". We think that most integrated web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Think macro-six-sigma. Our global feature set is second to none, but our robust R&D and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-seamless, proactive, efficient. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We invariably syndicate enterprise CAD metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It seems misleading, but it's true! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. We have come to know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to generate strategically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The B2B2C, frictionless models factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think macro-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed holistic, fractal portals and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you extend mega-ultra-dynamically then you may also facilitate strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to actualize proactively. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to synergize macro-seamlessly than to incubate intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "sexy, customized functionalities" really mean? Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to deploy proactively than to engage strategically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? If you empower robustly, you may have to transform intuitively. A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. Think macro-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be long-term? What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the power to transform interactively.