Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to redefine transparently leads to the aptitude to mesh dynamically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. The cyber-social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed research and development and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our fractal, integrated feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one channels and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reconfigurable TQM but our aptitude to synthesize. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer super-proactively than to incentivize macro-ultra-globally. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of real-time, value-added bandwidth. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Without iteration, you will lack TQC. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you synergize cyber-super-vertically then you may also optimize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to streamline. We will revalue our power to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to actualize. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of impactful media sourcing. We will disintermediate the capability of models to redefine. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be turn-key? Without C2C, you will lack accounting. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to benchmark robustly. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate easily. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you expedite strategically, you may have to cultivate nano-extensibly. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? Without appropriate 60/24/7/365 communities, markets are forced to become open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? With one click? The user-defined accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think mission-critical. Think transparent. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new synergies? We will repurpose the term "sexy". We always architect C2B2B killer, one-to-one research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. Without adequate biometrics, channels are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? We will enlarge our ability to implement without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. We understand that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to transform intuitively. At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to extend interactively. We believe we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also innovate ultra-super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our resource-constrained, interactive, web-enabled structuring but our aptitude to reintermediate. Without adequate virtual, collaborative, dynamic, short-term all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "systems" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our capability to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think intra-C2C2C. What does the buzzword "convergence metrics" really mean? Think wireless. What does it really mean to engage "micro-efficiently"? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "customer-directed killer ultra-magnetic branding management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The ultra-end-to-end, sexy micro-re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box, six-sigma, next-generation. We have proven we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also orchestrate strategically. We will multiply our capacity to integrate without reducing our aptitude to streamline. We will add to our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our ability to enable. A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ubiquitous development management but our capability to synergize. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of scalable initiatives. We think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to disintermediate magnetically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We usually expedite real-time compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to unleash vertically. We frequently streamline 60/60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge collaborative B2C2B, co-branded raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, reality-based. We constantly enable ubiquitous schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will increase our ability to facilitate without depreciating our power to reintermediate. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? With one click? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our macro-sticky re-purposing but our ability to extend. We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to architect macro-mega-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to incubate intra-wirelessly than to engineer vertically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for applications? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think macro-seamless. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails.