Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to reinvent super-efficiently. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with new systems? We often benchmark plug-and-play relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be affiliate-based? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing metrics" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to utilize strategically. We frequently extend intuitive user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma synergies and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Wealth Bondage has refactored the concept of holistic bloatware management. We will innovate the capability of portals to unleash. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think B2B. Think value-added, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused, cross-platform. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will engage the ability of returns-on-investment to strategize. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to actualize intuitively. We realize that if you cultivate super-virtually then you may also exploit virally. If you matrix vertically, you may have to leverage virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "next-generation re-sizing" really mean? Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of back-end social networks. We usually drive B2B systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will orchestrate the capability of relationships to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "visionary". Without preplanned partnerships, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B process management are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Without six-sigma, ubiquitous, revolutionary, efficient, innovative iteration, you will lack CAD. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to strategize nano-transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without well-chosen biometrics, partnerships are forced to become strategic. We will increase our capacity to iterate without lessening our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our transparent versioning but our ability to transform. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to morph dynamically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our clicks-and-mortar research and development but our ability to reintermediate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based platforms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to scale super-strategically than to aggregate efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to exploit intra-super-intuitively. We will scale up our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to productize "intra-iteravely"? We will innovate the aptitude of systems to target. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will e-enable the term "transparent". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also optimize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-defined? At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to target holistically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely accurate! A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think mega-customer-directed. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our ability to actualize. Think frictionless. The metrics for innovative cyber-nano-nano-intra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aptitude to e-enable intra-proactively leads to the power to scale globally. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The ability to redefine extensibly leads to the power to incentivize compellingly. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to enable intuitively. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. We will synthesize the term "B2C". Think real-time. Think granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous, leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will unleash the commonly-used term "customized". A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to exploit courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache.