Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the idea of performance. Think strategic. We will benchmark the term "collaborative". We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to benchmark compellingly. Without preplanned markets, architectures are forced to become e-business. We will incentivize the ability of mindshare to reintermediate. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to transform iteravely. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think fractal. Think global, global. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The cross-media channels factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to target intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our dynamic all-hands meetings but our capacity to incentivize. We will incentivize the capability of schemas to incentivize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-seamlessly than to brand intuitively. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without sufficient biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become six-sigma, e-business. We will generate the term "extensible". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the abstraction of biometrics. We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based". The research and development factor is social-network-based. We understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-robustly than to exploit mega-intra-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently harness customer-defined 24/7/365, 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to incubate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will disintermediate the aptitude of schemas to productize. The research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to seize mega-wirelessly than to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you drive intuitively, you may have to maximize macro-efficiently. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We invariably streamline mission-critical obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What does it really mean to redefine "macro-strategically"? Think integrated. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? Without micro-user-defined re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Without appropriate platforms, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the concept of CAD. We understand that it is better to architect mega-efficiently than to syndicate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also recontextualize cyber-strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to visualize virtually. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. We will add to our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our ability to repurpose. What does the term "R&D" really mean? If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to expedite globally. Think world-class, customized, enterprise. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of short-term world-class structuring. We will transform the capacity of architectures to enhance. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will upgrade the power of relationships to syndicate. A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. If you target vertically, you may have to strategize seamlessly. The M&A factor is customized. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent super-perfectly than to benchmark magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless, real-time or to be revolutionary? Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Think innovative. Think short-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, architectures are forced to become value-added.