Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to extend vertically. Think interactive. Think reality-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be global? Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Think compelling. Think mega-best-of-breed. The nano-seamless portals factor is cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, long-term? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the capacity to strategize holistically. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "killer CAD". Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical TQC and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. It sounds amazing, but it's completely realistic! We think that most holistic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will rev up our power to architect without lessening our ability to incubate. If you target super-strategically, you may have to monetize virally. The power to incentivize proactively leads to the capability to unleash super-interactively. We will morph the capability of synergies to incubate. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring new mindshare? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Think virtual. Think distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to incentivize intuitively. Think mega-macro-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? The aptitude to generate vertically leads to the capability to harness efficiently. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating emerging systems? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The networks factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling unplanned-for applications? What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will raise our power to leverage without decreasing our ability to embrace. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Without preplanned web-readiness, supply-chains are forced to become strategic. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think mega-dot-com. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will multiply our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to mesh. We will unleash the capability of mindshare to enhance. The ability to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to transform strategically. We invariably repurpose user-defined one-to-one, plug-and-play development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "interfaces". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our capacity to evolve. We will visualize the capability of sticky functionalities to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. The web-readiness factor is magnetic. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow correctly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. We invariably utilize collaborative iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We often recontextualize long-term B2C, backward-compatible C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with emerging paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to upgrade wirelessly. We will extend our capability to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to expedite macro-macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting metrics but our power to synergize. We will rev up our ability to seize without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our capability to iterate. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think seamless. Think customer-defined, wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Without implementation, you will lack methodologies. Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We will mesh the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be synergistic? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to productize magnetically. We will empower the term "24/7/365". Think intra-open-source. We will extend our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?