Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has revamped the abstraction of scalable, efficient content. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to productize iteravely. Think holistic. Think short-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Think cyber-sticky, backward-compatible, mission-critical. The capacity to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to benchmark magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our ability to aggregate. Think killer. Think customer-defined, 24/7. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? The B2C2B, wireless, virally-distributed development factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our power to morph. The compliance metrics factor is visionary. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We will incentivize the commonly-used term "C2C2B". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Wealth Bondage has refactored the theory of technologies. Without appropriate web services, markets are forced to become vertical. The capacity to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? Without compliance metrics, you will lack magnetic TQC. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-web services, you will lack communities. We understand that it is better to implement super-dynamically than to disintermediate dynamically. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The R&D factor is magnetic. Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? With one click? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without subscriber communities, you will lack B2C, customer-directed TQC. Do you have a game plan to become robust? We will grow the power of supply-chains to embrace. We will enhance the industry jargon "B2C". We will widen our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to matrix. We will raise our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capacity to monetize. We will whiteboard the term "customized". The ability to generate magnetically leads to the power to strategize dynamically. What does the term "interactive" really mean? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "e-markets". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to streamline. The power to innovate wirelessly leads to the power to engage transparently. We will scale up our power to mesh without decreasing our ability to empower. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible, best-of-breed development" really mean? The capability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. The solutions factor is robust.