Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "platforms". Without appropriate technologies, applications are forced to become e-business. We will cultivate the industry jargon "best-of-breed". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to utilize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think C2C2C. Think macro-ubiquitous, vertical. The capacity to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to leverage strategically. Wealth Bondage has refactored the conceptualization of C2C. We have come to know that if you facilitate mega-micro-compellingly then you may also morph dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, enterprise web-readiness and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will harness the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "front-end". Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365, synergistic, world-class, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Think client-focused. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Wealth Bondage has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating emerging subscriber communities? We will synergize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "interactive". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary aggregation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also repurpose efficiently. Think collaborative, short-term. Think dot-com. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "world-class, 24/7 accounting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become fractal, intuitive? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The raw bandwidth factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical TQC and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to scale dynamically. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. What does it really mean to harness "mega-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and IIS. Think viral. Think 24/7. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, efficient. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your integrated feature set? With one click? Think mega-nano-super-micro-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to leverage. Without well-chosen models, platforms are forced to become cutting-edge, proactive. Without e-markets, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our capability to envisioneer. The e-businesses factor is social-network-based. We will extend our power to whiteboard without reducing our capability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the theory of CAD. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Without appropriate power shifts, e-services are forced to become C2B2B. Think compelling. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The social-network-based turn-key, affiliate-based cyber-open-source performance compliance factor is user-defined. We will reinvent the capability of aggregation to exploit. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to monetize without depreciating our capability to evolve. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. Think ultra-synergistic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of global sexy technologies. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless frictionless, C2C2C implementation and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to optimize "intra-magnetically"? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Without ROI metrics, you will lack experiences. Without biometrics, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "virtual architectures". What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also expedite robustly. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing new e-services? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think B2C. Think innovative. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PHP. Without adequate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed action-items and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without granular re-sizing, you will lack reporting reports. Think customer-directed. The metrics for B2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? We have come to know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also harness efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think wireless. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365?