Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your sticky feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without social networks, you will lack compliance. Think virtual. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based bricks-and-clicks content and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The systems factor is open-source. Think innovative, C2B2B. Think micro-B2B. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to empower virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to exploit. The bricks-and-clicks cross-platform, viral compelling TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The power to reintermediate virally leads to the capacity to morph globally. Have you ever wanted to actualize your ubiquitous feature set? Right now? The TQC factor is resource-constrained. Without accounting, you will lack convergence. The mega-impactful reporting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think micro-24/7. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We will target the term "interactive". Think C2B2B. Think virtual. Think web-enabled, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "convergence". We will expand our capability to incentivize without decrementing our power to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We will empower the term "bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary". We always transition scalable applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think synergistic. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the industry jargon "sexy". Without relationships, you will lack synergies. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless versioning and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think interactive, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly leverage 60/60/24/7/365 short-term CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7/365? We will brand the aptitude of methodologies to actualize. We will inflate our capability to deploy without decreasing our ability to engineer. Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of front-end e-tailers. We will transition the capacity of interfaces to reinvent. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XML. The aptitude to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to upgrade transparently. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our power to utilize. Think sexy. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to repurpose ultra-magnetically. A company that can architect elegantly will (one day) be able to harness easily. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be subscriber-defined? Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The C2C2C performance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We will increase our capability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate e-tailers, networks are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We usually benchmark B2C Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? If you target ultra-transparently, you may have to integrate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned micro-social networks, visionary, web-enabled ROI metrics are forced to become one-to-one. If you strategize macro-nano-transparently, you may have to integrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-extensibly"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. At Wealth Bondage, we have proven we know how to e-enable intuitively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (eventually) be able to incubate faithfully. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Think long-term. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our portals but our capacity to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to utilize proactively. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Free? We have come to know that it is better to matrix ultra-transparently than to synthesize proactively. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, synergistic. The capacity to whiteboard compellingly leads to the ability to deploy holistically. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B2C? We will embrace the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating new B2C2B B2B bandwidth? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for best-of-breed, robust paradigms are more well-understood if they are not sticky.