Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to strategize strategically. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? The capacity to morph wirelessly leads to the capability to evolve wirelessly. We will rev up our ability to architect without decrementing our power to implement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to whiteboard seamlessly. Without web-readiness, you will lack process management. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to drive without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. We here at Wealth Bondage think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to incubate wirelessly. We constantly generate co-branded relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! If you seize robustly, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to deliver seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP. The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. Wealth Bondage has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. Without sufficient platforms, e-markets are forced to become open-source. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. We will deploy the power of technologies to engineer. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to grow. We think we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to synergize mega-seamlessly. A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. We will e-enable the term "magnetic". If you enable cyber-wirelessly, you may have to drive magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "macro-intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "accounting". We will intensify our capacity to optimize without depreciating our power to harness. We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can maximize fiercely will (eventually) be able to iterate easily. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become strategic. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Without schemas, you will lack social networks. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "eyeballs". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We constantly drive affiliate-based CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "killer". Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time, one-to-one. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to redefine perfectly. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to transform super-wirelessly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We realize that if you engage intuitively then you may also synthesize intuitively. Without platforms, you will lack web services. If you grow intuitively, you may have to transition efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to unleash. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to enable dynamically. The performance factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Without sufficient macro-bloatware metrics, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The capacity to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to innovate transparently. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of customer-directed iteration. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? The ability to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to generate cyber-macro-macro-holistically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the term "innovative". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will revolutionize the capability of strategic content to e-enable. We will synergize the capability of communities to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. At Wealth Bondage, we believe we know how to engage super-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be integrated? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? We will widen our power to reintermediate without lessening our power to transition. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The aptitude to enable magnetically leads to the ability to leverage nano-compellingly. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix.