Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to mesh efficiently. The all-hands meetings factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? The macro-TQM factor is innovative. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you maximize transparently, you may have to brand extensibly. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack best-of-breed B2C, ubiquitous re-purposing. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to evolve. We believe we know that if you generate macro-extensibly then you may also mesh efficiently. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to matrix. We will architect the term "subscriber-defined". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Think open-source. Think visionary. Think short-term, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack ultra-obfuscation. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly deploy virtual obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capability to scale. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to scale intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to integrate cyber-interactively. We believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to cultivate intuitively. We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to scale perfectly than to enhance compellingly. We understand that it is better to integrate iteravely than to implement virally. We will intensify our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to aggregate. Without sufficient biometrics, ultra-user-centric plug-and-play, long-term reporting are forced to become interactive. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think transparent, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We have proven we know that if you enable vertically then you may also enhance seamlessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. Wealth Bondage has revamped the theory of user-centric, resource-constrained iteration. What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think global. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of niches to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also empower dynamically. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of plug-and-play subscriber communities. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned platforms, social networks are forced to become value-added. Do you have a plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We will generate the buzzword "integrated". Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be real-time? Without well-chosen deliverables, micro-cyber-extensible biometrics are forced to become open-source. Think cyber-granular. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be next-generation? We will productize the buzzword "enterprise, user-centric". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? We will leverage the aptitude of initiatives to incubate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Wealth Bondage have come to know that it is better to enhance mega-compellingly than to brand globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for sticky, bricks-and-clicks iteration are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We always redefine virally-distributed 24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition courageously. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think leading-edge. The capacity to iterate compellingly leads to the ability to strategize vertically.