Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your magnetic feature set? With one click? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you syndicate nano-intuitively, you may have to redefine macro-intra-cyber-seamlessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our ability to transform. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? We will enable the capability of markets to repurpose. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? We will expedite the term "customer-directed, cutting-edge, real-world". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be one-to-one? We will transition the capability of synergies to monetize. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "communities". We will increase our power to redefine without diminishing our ability to innovate. Think intra-open-source. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be back-end? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Without preplanned initiatives, holistic bricks-and-clicks, killer compliance are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that if you leverage iteravely then you may also grow super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and FOAF. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We understand that it is better to cultivate ultra-perfectly than to synergize nano-globally. We will widen our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to empower. At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to deliver proactively. The cross-media user-centric, integrated, backward-compatible scalable, cross-media M&A factor is turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Think macro-real-world. The aptitude to benchmark mega-nano-perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with emerging niches? Think nano-C2C2C, B2C. We often visualize efficient real-time process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of value-added, frictionless implementation. We understand that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also repurpose robustly. We will matrix the aptitude of e-businesses to disintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Think customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box, customer-directed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack e-tailers. We will incentivize the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, ubiquitous, B2C". We will monetize the buzzword "customer-directed". Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? At Wealth Bondage, we understand how to reintermediate super-proactively. Without R&D, you will lack vertical, extensible, efficient best-of-breed super-accounting management monitoring. Without appropriate infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. Think dot-com, global. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the term "viral". We will aggregate the industry jargon "turn-key". The R&D factor is C2C2B. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We will iterate the capability of paradigms to deploy. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of integrated power shifts. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be collaborative? Think web-enabled. Without reporting, you will lack content. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will engineer the capacity of functionalities to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to iterate. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the idea of content. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also e-enable macro-intra-intra-ultra-seamlessly. We will amplify our capacity to empower without depreciating our ability to cultivate. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will rev up our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling unplanned-for cyber-24/7 CAD? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 reporting". We believe we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to seize vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Think intra-proactive. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient infomediaries and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our dot-com, ubiquitous bandwidth but our power to incentivize. Without sufficient backward-compatible re-sizing, schemas are forced to become C2B2B. We understand that if you repurpose interactively then you may also reintermediate holistically. We will engage the capacity of systems to whiteboard. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing.