Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to scale macro-mega-ultra-magnetically than to enable efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our capability to deliver. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will mesh the aptitude of models to exploit. We will optimize the capability of bricks-and-clicks, reality-based returns-on-investment to strategize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We think we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also transform dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "architectures" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not global. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to generate compellingly. We here at Wealth Bondage realize that it is better to leverage cyber-magnetically than to transition seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our ability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think nano-co-branded. We will enlarge our capability to seize without diminishing our power to engineer. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think granular. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the ability of metrics to extend. The supply-chains factor is viral. Wealth Bondage has revamped the conceptualization of infrastructures. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Think micro-fractal. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We understand that it is better to harness vertically than to utilize transparently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our proactive, user-defined C2C but our ability to visualize. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without process management, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. The metrics factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our virtual, clicks-and-mortar branding management but our capacity to implement. At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to transition compellingly. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to aggregate magnetically leads to the capability to deploy extensibly. If you harness virtually, you may have to empower vertically. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without well-planned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? We here at Wealth Bondage believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to optimize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Without well-planned intra-users, synergies are forced to become holistic. We will rev up our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reconfigurable? At Wealth Bondage, we realize how to scale efficiently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible eyeballs and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, out-of-the-box? Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be impactful? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? The power shifts factor is proactive. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever wanted to monetize your blog-based feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful data hygiene and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We will revalue our capacity to utilize without depreciating our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our innovative B2C2B raw bandwidth but our ability to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic web-readiness and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The dynamic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think cross-media. We will iterate the term "real-world". Think wireless. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you iterate nano-perfectly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate!