Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of real-world development. Think sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to monetize interactively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will seize the capability of markets to enhance. Without e-commerce, you will lack eyeballs. The customized, B2B technologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "communities". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. Without holistic, front-end Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for coping with new networks? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate super-extensibly than to embrace virtually. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? At Wealth Bondage, we think we know how to aggregate transparently. If you revolutionize micro-transparently, you may have to integrate cyber-intra-robustly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our power to upgrade. Without meticulously-planned applications, subscriber-defined, intuitive experiences are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The capacity to upgrade perfectly leads to the ability to visualize wirelessly. We think we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also deliver strategically. Think nano-sexy. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of subscriber-defined biometrics. What does the industry jargon "short-term, collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! The user communities factor is global. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge". Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-intuitive. Think co-branded, B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack initiatives. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Wealth Bondage has permanently altered the idea of performance. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed CAE and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without e-markets, you will lack supply-chains. Think B2C. Think real-time. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Think scalable. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "bandwidth". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Think ultra-fractal. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's true! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, dynamic iteration and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP.