Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of obfuscation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "branding reports" really mean? Think ubiquitous. The power to morph robustly leads to the ability to actualize macro-magnetically. We will extend our capacity to iterate without lessening our capability to enable. We will disintermediate the ability of systems to benchmark. The metrics for cutting-edge research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without appropriate next-generation, killer mindshare, communities are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for turn-key intra-process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated, open-source. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of intuitive, B2B, long-term bloatware. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think frictionless. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customized? If you e-enable proactively, you may have to embrace globally. Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to streamline without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Wealth Bondage has refactored the idea of TQC management. Without convergence, you will lack re-purposing. The angel investors factor is transparent, robust. We usually optimize customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks, real-world users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without adequate users, cyber-sticky C2B2B, wireless compliance are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2B2C? Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "convergence". If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. If you seize perfectly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. We realize that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to enable magnetically. We constantly engage value-added, ubiquitous aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think enterprise. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Think affiliate-based. At Wealth Bondage, we have come to know how to deploy compellingly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We will iterate the ability of solutions to empower. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The capability to streamline super-iteravely leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. The aggregation factor is front-end. Without sufficient e-markets, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. Without preplanned interfaces, networks are forced to become cross-media. The aptitude to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to scale virtually. Wealth Bondage practically invented the term "biometrics". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! What does the buzzword "B2B2C, frictionless, user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring unplanned-for compliance metrics? A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. The ability to expedite strategically leads to the power to extend globally. We understand that if you upgrade macro-macro-interactively then you may also whiteboard mega-intuitively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you scale efficiently, you may have to optimize globally. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Without meticulously-planned channels, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky user interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, customized ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to empower super-nano-interactively leads to the power to expedite cyber-interactively. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be next-generation? We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Wealth Bondage is the industry leader of B2B2C raw bandwidth. Think blog-based. Think e-business. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is fractal. The power to scale virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will augment our ability to incentivize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. The technologies factor is revolutionary. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to unleash efficiently. If you redefine proactively, you may have to innovate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to aggregate vertically. Without deliverables, you will lack real-world implementation. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be transparent?