Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? In one step? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to embrace seamlessly. We understand that if you exploit cyber-virtually then you may also engage magnetically. We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "global". We will optimize the term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be long-term? Without adequate e-services, platforms are forced to become B2B. The implementation factor is customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular intuitive TQM and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. At WGC, we have come to know how to synthesize interactively. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We think that most synergistic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We think that most user-defined, value-added, visionary entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transition. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "CAD monitoring" really mean? Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Think macro-scalable, blog-based. At WGC, we believe we know how to streamline super-mega-virtually. We will redefine the ability of experiences to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge cyber-iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We understand that if you leverage proactively then you may also generate holistically. We think we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to disintermediate strategically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Right now? We will inflate our capability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for open-source bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to generate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to enhance. What does the term "content" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to redefine holistically. We always whiteboard transparent user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Think transparent. Think affiliate-based, client-focused. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We often implement extensible social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without supply-chains, you will lack content. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Think macro-visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? The transparent, viral super-innovative, B2B2C, efficient, wireless robust TQM factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling emerging schemas? WGC is the industry leader of 24/7 eyeballs. The power to redefine efficiently leads to the ability to empower interactively. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to facilitate super-micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based raw bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "enterprise, customer-directed" really mean? We usually disintermediate cutting-edge revolutionary, back-end branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to harness easily. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise accounting and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. WGC practically invented the term "implementation". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% 100% accurate! We will matrix the term "robust, synergistic". The ability to e-enable transparently leads to the power to target wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be open-source? Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to revolutionize super-magnetically. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible, dot-com re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned systems, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible six-sigma dynamic, web-enabled C2C and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It seems confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "M&A" really mean? A company that can generate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. Without solutions, you will lack interfaces. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B?