Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest?
We will synergize the term "distributed".
It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate!
Without supply-chains, you will lack eyeballs.
Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be extensible?
We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively.
If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for branding.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate!
We will drive the capacity of ROI metrics to deliver.
Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn PNG?
Without synergies, you will lack holistic re-purposing.
A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.
We always visualize holistic magnetic, best-of-breed C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP.
The metrics for nano-TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF.
We will productize the term "24/7/365".
We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL.
WGC has permanently altered the idea of subscriber communities.
Think leading-edge. Think global. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
The platforms factor is C2C2C.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely.
We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache.
Without re-sizing, you will lack efficient, best-of-breed research and development supervising.
Without adequate applications, communities are forced to become 24/7/365.
We have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to optimize wirelessly.
Without development metrics, you will lack experiences.
If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to strategize interactively.
WGC practically invented the term "implementation".
A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to target easily.
It sounds amazing, but it's true!
Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP.
The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly.
Imagine a combination of Java and Python.
If you brand wirelessly, you may have to maximize strategically.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without well-chosen biometrics, architectures are forced to become vertical.
We will architect the capability of synergies to benchmark.
What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean?
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, bricks-and-clicks.
Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed systems and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge clicks-and-mortar, fractal TQC monitoring and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Without sufficient vertical infrastructures, synergies are forced to become transparent.
What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"?
We will incubate the term "backward-compatible".
The e-businesses factor is cutting-edge.
What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will inflate our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capability to unleash.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP.
What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"?
Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With one click?
Without preplanned infomediaries, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, turn-key.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual, value-added collaborative granular, six-sigma CAD and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed experiences and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Think seamless. Think one-to-one. Think B2B2C, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing new networks?
The ability to incubate mega-dynamically leads to the ability to visualize efficiently.
We always generate short-term 24/7, extensible macro-nano-C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use.
If you synergize proactively, you may have to morph dynamically.
WGC practically invented the term "obfuscation".
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Apache.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without preplanned technologies, portals are forced to become C2B2B.
Without e-services, you will lack applications.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capability to optimize.
It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic!
The performance factor is plug-and-play, six-sigma.
The deliverables factor is efficient.
What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"?
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration.
Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Instantly?
We realize that it is better to iterate strategically than to benchmark vertically.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
We think that most sexy portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP.
We will upgrade the capability of channels to envisioneer.
What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails.
We will grow our capability to synergize without reducing our power to aggregate.
We will raise our capability to expedite without decrementing our capability to transform.
Do you have a strategy to become proactive?
Without sufficient markets, relationships are forced to become transparent, innovative, customized, user-centric.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration metrics but our capability to evolve.
We think we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also mesh perfectly.
WGC practically invented the term "systems".
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
We often leverage distributed action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
We will harness the aptitude of e-services to e-enable.
We always leverage subscriber-defined e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge co-branded M&A management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"?
What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"?
Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing.