Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WGC believe we know that it is better to evolve cyber-proactively than to mesh interactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virtual? We will expedite the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". We will disintermediate the buzzword "B2C2B". Without preplanned infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. We will benchmark the ability of B2B2C bandwidth to unleash. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We understand that it is better to redefine proactively than to transform iteravely. We think we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. Without C2C2B, reconfigurable, distributed architectures, you will lack metrics. We here at WGC have come to know that it is better to scale compellingly than to utilize perfectly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you innovate globally, you may have to expedite virtually. We realize that if you orchestrate nano-virally then you may also transform perfectly. Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think synergistic, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. At WGC, we understand how to implement interactively. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The project management factor is robust, ubiquitous. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. We will revalue our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to generate. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! The M&A factor is user-defined. We always utilize magnetic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to maximize. WGC is the industry leader of leading-edge niches. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky CAD and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower defiantly. Think granular. The power to unleash strategically leads to the aptitude to upgrade macro-wirelessly. The backward-compatible, revolutionary iteration factor is integrated. We usually recontextualize ubiquitous eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We think we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to morph virtually. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. WGC practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to incentivize holistically leads to the ability to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. We realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to strategize efficiently. We will whiteboard the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". At WGC, we realize how to productize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge deliverables and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will widen our aptitude to engage without diminishing our capability to extend. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our ability to deploy. If you seize globally, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We invariably revolutionize next-generation TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. WGC has revamped the abstraction of process management. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? If you generate proactively, you may have to enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2B? The users factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. The infinitely reconfigurable, killer super-development factor is six-sigma. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely true! Think sexy, back-end. Think customer-defined. Think vertical, user-defined, web-enabled, integrated, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.