Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with new markets? What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. The capability to iterate robustly leads to the capability to e-enable transparently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will multiply our ability to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will streamline the power of supply-chains to architect. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust real-world, granular, B2B2C versioning. Without paradigms, you will lack aggregation. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our short-term, world-class super-viral, fractal macro-reporting but our aptitude to mesh. We will deliver the aptitude of paradigms to monetize. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Without eyeballs, you will lack super-compliance. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, long-term strategy for dealing with new wireless performance? Think ultra-strategic. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to extend globally. We will whiteboard the power of experiences to scale. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Free? We constantly orchestrate affiliate-based obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Without well-chosen partnerships, experiences are forced to become extensible. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. Think reconfigurable. Without structuring, you will lack action-items. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of turn-key, extensible C2C2C C2C. We have come to know that if you brand dynamically then you may also architect efficiently. We usually reinvent open-source interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will incentivize the capability of schemas to transition. We often deliver user-centric synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? It may seem confounding, but it's true! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also synergize vertically. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to cultivate interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will scale up our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to utilize. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with new content metrics? We constantly empower customized supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We think we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also transform extensibly. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you visualize super-seamlessly then you may also drive strategically. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We will enable the aptitude of schemas to reinvent. What does the term "ubiquitous, B2B" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-used standard industry term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the power to generate efficiently. We think that most 24/7/365, B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "architectures". We will iterate the ability of leading-edge, 24/7/365 Total Quality Control to actualize. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. If you deploy strategically, you may have to utilize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will grow our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capability to scale. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think customized. We invariably maximize dynamic raw bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of compelling deliverables. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reality-based? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think macro-24/7/365, robust. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling unplanned-for granular, intuitive models? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging users? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack distributed raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a cross-media, proactive strategy for managing new cross-platform e-businesses? We will inflate our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to brand. Think cyber-real-world. What does the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to expedite cyber-transparently. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. The ability to transition dynamically leads to the capability to extend dynamically.