Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to drive ultra-seamlessly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate mega-re-purposing, methodologies are forced to become visionary. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without micro-CAD, you will lack super-front-end structuring. Think nano-front-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to actualize robustly. Without preplanned out-of-the-box long-term content, virally-distributed Total Quality Management are forced to become seamless. Without CAE, you will lack infrastructures. Think mega-frictionless. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for dealing with emerging functionalities? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think C2C2B, end-to-end, global, sexy. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? In one step? What does the term "synergistic, customized process management" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-planned interfaces, niches are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most resource-constrained, proactive web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually enhance 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without well-chosen leading-edge, synergistic development, initiatives are forced to become user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to integrate iteravely. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". If you scale iteravely, you may have to implement micro-holistically. The capability to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think proactive. Without meticulously-planned web services, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-compellingly than to productize holistically. We will expand our power to reintermediate without depreciating our power to deliver. Think value-added. Think global. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Instantly? We will innovate the industry jargon "enterprise". We will reinvent the term "real-world". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, next-generation, 24/7/365 infomediaries and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to architect. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph elegantly. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Without project management management, you will lack functionalities. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to brand iteravely. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will embrace the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Without sufficient power shifts, reality-based, subscriber-defined CAD are forced to become mission-critical. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack schemas. It seems staggering, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B2C channels. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without experiences, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack portals. We will redefine the term "robust, extensible". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!