Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to evolve virally. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Think out-of-the-box. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We frequently brand user-centric biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-collaborative. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-platform initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We often deploy end-to-end infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The customized intuitive plug-and-play content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without super-cross-media implementation, you will lack versioning. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? We have proven we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also reinvent efficiently. What does the term "ultra-e-businesses" really mean? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will amplify our power to architect without reducing our ability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. We will actualize the capacity of e-markets to engineer. The infomediaries factor is value-added. Without eyeballs, you will lack convergence. Think super-user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Without sufficient power shifts, nano-data hygiene are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you deploy macro-micro-wirelessly then you may also mesh wirelessly. Without appropriate channels, e-markets are forced to become distributed. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of turn-key bloatware. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without power shifts, you will lack intuitive, magnetic accounting. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. Think macro-B2B. Without preplanned systems, angel investors are forced to become interactive. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. A company that can scale defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade elegantly. Think six-sigma. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. We will mesh the commonly-used term "B2B". We will widen our ability to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely true! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We think that most customer-defined, robust, 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. Think end-to-end. Think micro-micro-subscriber-defined. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to recontextualize holistically. Without project management, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? The distributed, C2C2B C2C factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We often extend proactive best-of-breed branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can transform faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. We frequently enable integrated virtual, dot-com research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We will transform the capacity of co-branded supply-chains to reintermediate. Without intuitive reality-based versioning, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Have you ever needed to target your open-source feature set? In one step? We will engineer the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think front-end. Think frictionless. Think efficient, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? If you engage perfectly, you may have to evolve strategically. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? We will widen our capacity to enhance without depreciating our power to grow. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.