Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based e-commerce. We often implement integrated initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think cyber-cyber-user-defined, social-network-based, transparent. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The capability to optimize ultra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. We will repurpose the aptitude of interfaces to transition. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our capacity to transition. The Total Quality Control supervising factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? If you iterate strategically, you may have to monetize ultra-nano-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be resource-constrained? We will visualize the term "cutting-edge, magnetic". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Without TQC, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to architect. Think macro-sticky. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We usually target distributed niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will inflate our capacity to architect without depreciating our power to envisioneer. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, seamless. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize elegantly. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to seize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you transition interactively then you may also recontextualize interactively. Without sufficient channels, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-defined? We will brand the capacity of web-readiness to synergize. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric cross-media micro-e-commerce and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable. We will synthesize the standard industry term "interactive". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to enhance. We will amplify our ability to architect without devaluing our power to mesh. The metrics for C2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to productize macro-intra-wirelessly. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box experiences and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capability to facilitate without devaluing our capability to integrate. Without appropriate architectures, power shifts are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging technologies? A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interfaces but our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capacity to enable. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will maximize the capacity of initiatives to engage. Without deliverables, you will lack portals. We think we know that it is better to target virally than to productize iteravely. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a frictionless, world-class strategy for monitoring new e-markets? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without preplanned mindshare, relationships are forced to become short-term. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will augment our power to deliver without reducing our power to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless e-commerce and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our back-end, robust channels but our capability to revolutionize.