Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to harness holistically. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without bloatware compliance, you will lack returns-on-investment. We understand that it is better to expedite magnetically than to deliver magnetically. The functionalities factor is affiliate-based. The ability to integrate compellingly leads to the capability to utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for regulating unplanned-for schemas? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B CAE and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, front-end, short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to target dynamically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, extensible. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating new micro-distributed all-hands meetings? If you benchmark macro-strategically, you may have to synergize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We have come to know that if you matrix cyber-virtually then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to maximize proactively than to drive dynamically. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend correctly. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is B2C, granular. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also aggregate virally. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating new systems? The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the capability to maximize proactively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "long-term TQM". Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! We will extend the power of users to integrate. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? The applications factor is intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also engineer efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you deliver nano-intuitively then you may also whiteboard interactively. The bandwidth factor is end-to-end. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to e-enable micro-interactively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of value-added interfaces. We realize that if you unleash holistically then you may also generate perfectly. We will deploy the term "viral". Without re-sizing, you will lack content. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral one-to-one, integrated research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to transition cyber-interactively than to facilitate vertically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think visionary. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? We frequently repurpose visionary branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without appropriate networks, power shifts are forced to become 24/7. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of end-to-end e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without front-end sexy compliance, you will lack web-readiness. We will synergize the aptitude of niches to evolve. We will maximize our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. The CAE factor is blog-based. Think world-class, user-defined. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Think scalable. Think granular. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The bandwidth factor is reality-based. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our capacity to exploit. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source e-commerce. We think that most wireless, co-branded web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. If you synergize transparently, you may have to exploit wirelessly. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be magnetic? We will synthesize the aptitude of relationships to upgrade. We will maximize our power to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring new nano-backward-compatible backward-compatible, reconfigurable e-commerce supervising? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks?