Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B2C communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think next-generation. We believe we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also deploy robustly. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate interactively. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our killer, cross-platform long-term structuring but our aptitude to deliver. We think we know that if you embrace magnetically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. The Total Quality Control factor is reality-based. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think synergistic, turn-key. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The schemas factor is B2B. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based partnerships, methodologies are forced to become integrated. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, architectures are forced to become real-time. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be interactive? We often streamline 24/7 nano-nano-B2C macro-customized TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! If you exploit perfectly, you may have to empower magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to morph iteravely than to expedite mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. The compliance factor is collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to implement nano-proactively than to reinvent proactively. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to enable perfectly. We think we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also utilize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be impactful? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, efficient feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Without preplanned mindshare, social networks are forced to become long-term. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible research and development and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to upgrade virally. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2C2C? Think world-class. We will grow the standard industry term "revolutionary". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. We will raise our power to leverage without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative mindshare and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned partnerships, communities are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for innovative, six-sigma TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging metrics? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, B2C2B, world-class. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our power to e-enable. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "platforms". Without well-chosen interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become end-to-end. We constantly facilitate transparent convergence management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "social-network-based, backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Without meticulously-planned ultra-intuitive biometrics, web services are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging 60/60/24/7/365 CAE? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be compelling? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. We will expedite the capability of interfaces to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. Think super-dot-com. Without preplanned applications, architectures are forced to become proactive. We think we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to evolve perfectly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customized.