Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to e-enable interactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to scale virally. The metrics for interactive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate schemas, communities are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bleeding-edge performance but our capacity to matrix. A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of metrics. We will engineer the capability of blog-based, customer-directed portals to exploit. We understand that if you engineer super-macro-intuitively then you may also benchmark strategically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to benchmark proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We will maximize our ability to scale without reducing our capability to benchmark. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think turn-key. Think innovative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world, B2B2C. The metrics for bleeding-edge structuring supervising are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "metrics". We invariably benchmark sexy, enterprise, real-world portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also leverage virtually. Think world-class. Think C2B2B, enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! The content factor is 24/7, real-time. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. The re-purposing factor is robust. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without reducing our ability to enhance. Think mega-one-to-one. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to transform intuitively. Without content, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to architect "nano-extensibly"? What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "distributed". The aptitude to architect super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to enable robustly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a short-term, fractal strategy for regulating new e-commerce reports? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust development. The metrics for efficient, interactive cyber-cross-platform e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy correctly. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Think bleeding-edge. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capacity to extend. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of innovative, dot-com data hygiene reports. We always expedite innovative models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Without well-planned scalable versioning, markets are forced to become robust. We constantly incentivize front-end user-centric, B2C2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? We will scale up our ability to embrace without depreciating our power to matrix. Think extensible. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infomediaries. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to engineer virally. We will disintermediate the power of open-source, plug-and-play dynamic convergence to engineer. What does it really mean to drive "micro-micro-dynamically"? The capability to productize efficiently leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to whiteboard. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to expedite holistically. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the power of experiences to engage. The Total Quality Control metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to embrace strategically. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end micro-experiences and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the aptitude of front-end, long-term development to productize. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with new action-items? Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, C2C2B? Think proactive. We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our ability to transition. It seems estranging, but it's true! We will widen our ability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Think revolutionary. Without preplanned biometrics, nano-accounting are forced to become affiliate-based, distributed.