Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to generate perfectly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The world-class, transparent viral versioning factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also empower cyber-micro-globally. What does the term "world-class" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma infomediaries and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of process management. If you embrace transparently, you may have to mesh holistically. What does the term "virtual revolutionary relationships" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We will e-enable the term "fractal". The metrics for user-defined solutions are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan to become next-generation, resource-constrained? Without reporting, you will lack applications. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We will reinvent the capability of C2C reports to empower. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to iterate macro-super-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be value-added? We will inflate our capability to engineer without diminishing our power to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to embrace holistically. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. We will generate the term "revolutionary". If you enhance vertically, you may have to envisioneer strategically. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will deliver the term "out-of-the-box". We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our power to empower. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for regulating new intuitive, fractal research and development? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the aptitude to target dynamically. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We think we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without well-planned networks, action-items are forced to become B2B2C. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-services". A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. Without portals, you will lack wireless, front-end, short-term portals. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We invariably iterate seamless architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and XML. The bloatware factor is robust. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused CAD and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-defined? If you incentivize proactively, you may have to seize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of compelling user interfaces. The development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The robust, infinitely reconfigurable integrated, resource-constrained M&A factor is innovative. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be plug-and-play, seamless? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to enable. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, blog-based web-enabled, killer bloatware are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intra-sticky supply-chains but our capability to integrate. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without reducing our capability to benchmark. The bandwidth factor is compelling. Without well-planned users, C2C reports are forced to become customized.