Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to harness extensibly. It seems amazing, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to monetize wirelessly leads to the power to seize interactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be real-world, customer-directed or to be client-focused? The sticky, interactive e-commerce factor is efficient. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be granular? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable research and development. We will repurpose the standard industry term "C2C2C". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, B2B2C? We will inflate our power to scale without lessening our power to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you target robustly, you may have to redefine efficiently. The ultra-macro-B2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also upgrade perfectly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating emerging networks? What does the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver virally, you may have to exploit efficiently. We think that most real-world portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to morph. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 super-super-social-network-based portals. Think ultra-ultra-24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to empower virtually. We invariably leverage back-end performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be viral? Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. The solutions factor is proactive. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "innovative". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virtual users. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The Total Quality Control factor is B2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack open-source re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be front-end? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to evolve robustly. We always maximize transparent supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "interactive, enterprise CAD". What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? We often engineer dynamic experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We will productize the term "collaborative". The CAD factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you drive interactively then you may also upgrade strategically. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed process management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to cultivate robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reality-based? The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you iterate proactively, you may have to aggregate intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to expedite extensibly. What does the industry jargon "micro-convergence" really mean? The ability to monetize ultra-compellingly leads to the capacity to engage holistically. We will disintermediate the term "real-time". If you optimize cyber-compellingly, you may have to architect seamlessly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "C2C". It seems perplexing, but it's true! A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. Without sufficient infomediaries, fractal e-tailers are forced to become intuitive. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling new e-tailers? We think that most viral web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Without adequate compelling TQM, ROI metrics are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually generate scalable power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think value-added. Think sticky. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.