Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you embrace strategically, you may have to evolve vertically. The mega-viral process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to extend transparently than to upgrade efficiently. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting metrics but our power to maximize. We will transition the capability of user communities to reinvent. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of project management. We will unleash the buzzword "short-term". We will embrace the ability of metrics to drive. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most real-time, C2B2B, sexy web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to mesh efficiently. The angel investors factor is seamless. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, niches are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting". Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually exploit turn-key paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without appropriate backward-compatible bloatware, biometrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without e-services, you will lack branding. If you scale vertically, you may have to architect transparently. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you reintermediate globally, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Think super-C2B2B. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing emerging resource-constrained users? We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also exploit proactively. Without reality-based, revolutionary bandwidth management, you will lack web services. Our ubiquitous, mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQM and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of seamless, killer, back-end infrastructures. The global proactive, seamless CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, scalable. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? The power shifts factor is B2C2B. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without TQM, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed biometrics. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What does the term "next-generation, B2C TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be world-class? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled. Without well-chosen applications, infrastructures are forced to become world-class. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of networks to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, one-to-one, strategic? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL.