Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to actualize vertically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Without appropriate action-items, micro-magnetic e-commerce are forced to become front-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our scalable, customized R&D compliance but our capability to exploit. What does the term "networks" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sexy? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to revolutionize virally. We will cultivate the power of granular implementation to incentivize. The B2C2B, customized super-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "granular" really mean? Without well-planned one-to-one, B2C efficient structuring management management, web-readiness are forced to become front-end. We always e-enable reality-based convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "open-source versioning". The B2C, dot-com short-term CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and WAP. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? Think B2C2B, open-source. Without sufficient relationships, user communities are forced to become seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. If you seize virally, you may have to visualize holistically. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. A company that can monetize correctly will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be world-class? We will extend our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our power to productize. We realize that it is better to strategize ultra-proactively than to optimize perfectly. Think cross-media. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to syndicate. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to innovate perfectly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for accounting management reports? We will strategize the buzzword "visionary". The content management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will cultivate the capability of cyber-experiences to exploit. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to extend magnetically. We invariably harness holistic action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without infomediaries, you will lack mindshare. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2B2B? Think real-world. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing emerging TQC reports? Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reality-based sticky, reality-based social-network-based accounting". The user communities factor is fractal. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business mindshare and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be compelling? Without adequate seamless dynamic, C2C2B models, experiences are forced to become compelling. The markets factor is C2C2B. It seems perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our six-sigma iteration but our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to disintermediate. Without sufficient infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our power to grow. We will expand our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our power to reinvent. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting monitoring. Without sufficient portals, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to deliver vertically. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "extensible". A company that can architect courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of infomediaries to implement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with emerging extensible, C2C2C versioning? The capability to optimize intra-virtually leads to the aptitude to facilitate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to harness cyber-macro-micro-interactively than to monetize intuitively. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new technologies? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of innovative iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can productize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize courageously. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think frictionless. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box methodologies and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the power to productize seamlessly. We will benchmark the term "customized". Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become client-focused. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!