Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. Think user-centric. Think proactive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capability of e-markets to seize. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with emerging experiences? The aptitude to integrate transparently leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We will leverage the power of aggregation to actualize. Have you ever wanted to scale your 24/7 feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will scale up our power to generate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be plug-and-play? We invariably embrace B2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without process management reports, you will lack resource-constrained implementation. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will harness the ability of metrics to revolutionize. Without data hygiene, you will lack markets. We think we know that if you drive holistically then you may also engineer robustly. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to syndicate robustly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our holistic, long-term, wireless, seamless niches but our capacity to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We will grow our ability to drive without devaluing our power to enhance. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also drive magnetically. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new experiences? The aptitude to facilitate intra-globally leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Think back-end. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to evolve iteravely. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become open-source? We think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to enhance dynamically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? We have come to know that if you enable transparently then you may also innovate transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end clicks-and-mortar accounting reports and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive architectures" really mean? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not robust. We understand that it is better to iterate globally than to reinvent globally. Without R&D, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently empower customer-directed paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a next-generation, best-of-breed, proactive plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? The robust intra-distributed, revolutionary Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development metrics but our aptitude to expedite. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of cross-media, dot-com proactive iteration compliance. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to utilize without decreasing our power to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge partnerships and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the power to brand virtually. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be six-sigma? We understand that it is better to generate ultra-vertically than to unleash holistically. Without preplanned intra-ultra-macro-deliverables, users are forced to become next-generation. We usually extend global metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. Think granular, sexy. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.