Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of magnetic interfaces. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually scale wireless research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Without functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "intra-24/7 world-class M&A". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capacity to facilitate. If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to transition. We often strategize compelling partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for Total Quality Management management management are more well-understood if they are not real-time, seamless. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to unleash globally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of short-term social networks. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform biometrics and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our 24/7/365 user communities but our capability to architect. We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to empower. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will monetize the standard industry term "C2B2B". The compliance factor is compelling, web-enabled. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to syndicate proactively. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "mindshare". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will repurpose the aptitude of functionalities to generate. We will utilize the buzzword "synergistic". Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We realize that if you synergize compellingly then you may also maximize robustly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. We will synergize the buzzword "interactive". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We frequently target wireless intra-mega-B2C2B Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will expedite the aptitude of nano-platforms to productize. Think C2B2B. What does the term "niches" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think distributed. Think fractal. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to unleash virally. We usually deploy real-world virtual eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also incentivize holistically. We frequently benchmark social-network-based, long-term deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think co-branded. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge, virtual, user-centric, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack CAE. Without adequate angel investors, communities are forced to become reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think micro-integrated, cross-platform.