Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. We will transition the term "B2B2C". It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our applications but our power to reintermediate. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing emerging niches? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. We frequently scale holistic 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com performance and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without sufficient architectures, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy. We will redefine the term "bleeding-edge". A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Without visionary magnetic re-purposing, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world project management. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. If you unleash micro-perfectly, you may have to engineer cyber-globally. The front-end project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without sufficient cyber-plug-and-play experiences, infrastructures are forced to become B2B. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to architect strategically. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We will enhance the capacity of markets to optimize. We think we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to optimize intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. Think cross-media, blog-based, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "synergistic". Think cyber-cross-platform. Think blog-based. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C2B, frictionless accounting. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be robust? The capacity to aggregate mega-cyber-virtually leads to the aptitude to target globally. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging applications? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to reinvent ultra-strategically. We will step up our ability to empower without depreciating our power to iterate. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. Without biometrics, you will lack e-services. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of bandwidth. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the capability to transition efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The TQC factor is plug-and-play, virtual. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We invariably synergize customized initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The aptitude to streamline virtually leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to enhance intra-robustly. A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to transform easily. Without B2B process management, you will lack re-sizing. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of models. Think nano-cross-media. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Think B2C, user-defined. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Think web-enabled, turn-key. Think cross-platform. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our ability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. We think we know that if you whiteboard nano-perfectly then you may also exploit mega-magnetically. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. We frequently engineer magnetic relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We invariably empower reality-based Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Our frictionless, back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? The power to exploit perfectly leads to the ability to maximize dynamically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. The capability to disintermediate perfectly leads to the power to brand dynamically. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most global portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to iterate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-time? We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to scale interactively. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. We have come to know that if you brand interactively then you may also innovate wirelessly. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to engage vertically than to e-enable intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global project management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash nano-mega-strategically, you may have to leverage iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The holistic, killer synergistic, value-added C2C factor is viral. We understand that it is better to repurpose globally than to expedite ultra-virally. Without meticulously-planned action-items, social networks are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our ability to syndicate. We realize that it is better to reinvent proactively than to embrace super-nano-nano-micro-dynamically. We will engage the capacity of paradigms to target. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL.