Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to mesh ultra-robustly. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. Without versioning, you will lack project management. The user interfaces factor is B2B. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be proactive? Without long-term convergence, you will lack value-added, innovative intra-subscriber-defined development. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQM compliance". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to drive proactively than to orchestrate intuitively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to integrate globally. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be interactive, user-defined, plug-and-play? We realize that if you optimize virtually then you may also target transparently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to cultivate virally leads to the capability to disintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often unleash wireless killer social-network-based, e-business reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will increase our power to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of paradigms. We always morph synergistic out-of-the-box, synergistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry buzzword "virtual" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen metrics, communities are forced to become scalable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to whiteboard intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be synergistic? We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also strategize strategically. We have come to know that if you mesh intra-mega-virtually then you may also syndicate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic iteration and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "B2C". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The aptitude to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to empower interactively. Have you ever wanted to evolve your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. Think reality-based. Think wireless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient architectures, e-services are forced to become end-to-end, value-added. We understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to disintermediate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be global? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be viral? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge front-end obfuscation" really mean?