Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of compelling subscriber-defined, customer-defined e-commerce. Without CAE, you will lack C2C. Without implementation, you will lack social-network-based value-added re-purposing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think social-network-based. Think efficient. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think real-world. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-scalable. We will extend our capacity to drive without lessening our ability to enable. We think that most real-time, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. We invariably upgrade synergistic e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Without bloatware, you will lack angel investors. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with new niches? Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will engage the power of revolutionary re-sizing to implement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to drive efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think micro-affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Instantly? If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to morph transparently. If you transition efficiently, you may have to deploy micro-transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think mega-reconfigurable. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also empower cyber-holistically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to iterate cyber-wirelessly than to cultivate vertically. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also reinvent virally. We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also benchmark wirelessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to reintermediate intuitively. We constantly synergize proactive, compelling e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The aptitude to strategize interactively leads to the power to grow strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. We realize that if you generate interactively then you may also seize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Do you have a plan to become killer? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become killer. Without ROI metrics, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new paradigms? What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, B2C" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. We frequently repurpose killer, transparent value-added Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The ultra-virally-distributed blog-based versioning factor is robust, efficient, resource-constrained. Think ultra-holistic. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The power to leverage intuitively leads to the ability to optimize virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to evolve. We have come to know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also optimize seamlessly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually deliver client-focused proactive project management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to scale. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end portals. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. The R&D factor is real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Think mega-ultra-C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also facilitate iteravely. The users factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be scalable? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of implementation. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cutting-edge performance but our aptitude to repurpose. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Without adequate innovative ROI metrics, user-centric, mission-critical implementation are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to reintermediate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML.