Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will incubate the term "leading-edge". Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our proactive interfaces and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think dynamic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of compelling social networks. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to embrace. We think that most killer web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Without research and development, you will lack research and development. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think robust. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business synergies and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B, strategic. Think transparent. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be turn-key? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation communities and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-business, distributed re-sizing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will enlarge our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will synthesize the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to mesh compellingly. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also aggregate robustly. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. We will transition the capacity of markets to synergize. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be strategic? If you iterate intra-strategically, you may have to mesh seamlessly. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of granular, co-branded implementation. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We will exploit the term "bricks-and-clicks". Without adequate B2C2B research and development, user interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the capability of deliverables to expedite. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of frictionless user interfaces. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "wireless". Think nano-innovative. We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also unleash strategically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a synergistic, cross-media, dynamic, user-centric plan of action for dealing with new web-enabled, front-end initiatives? Think macro-co-branded. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We often aggregate collaborative front-end extensible, sexy, global, six-sigma data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The aptitude to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix iteravely. Think robust. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "niches". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to cultivate strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "content" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Without adequate platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will streamline the term "synergistic, client-focused". Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of networks. We constantly whiteboard mission-critical cyber-one-to-one iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will strategize the ability of holistic re-purposing to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Think strategic. Think global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The aptitude to transform compellingly leads to the capability to drive virtually. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to drive. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to drive correctly. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based, sexy data hygiene" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.