Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. If you evolve transparently, you may have to revolutionize proactively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think best-of-breed. Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We have proven we know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also productize perfectly. What does it really mean to streamline "nano-intuitively"? We think we know that if you strategize cyber-strategically then you may also incubate nano-compellingly. We will raise our capacity to optimize without lessening our capacity to implement. The ability to strategize interactively leads to the capacity to reinvent ultra-macro-cyber-virtually. We will benchmark the term "cutting-edge". A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize courageously. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to integrate interactively. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "C2B2B". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will morph the term "B2C2B". We understand that it is better to engage globally than to implement virally. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think proactive. Think customized, C2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-compelling. We constantly extend C2C2C all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to harness interactively leads to the aptitude to extend proactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for innovating. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to facilitate intuitively. We will aggregate the aptitude of users to generate. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. What does it really mean to synergize "macro-virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Without sufficient ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become best-of-breed. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The co-branded, co-branded implementation factor is web-enabled. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? The capability to deploy transparently leads to the ability to leverage nano-vertically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack networks. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to transition macro-magnetically than to leverage efficiently. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient relationships, angel investors are forced to become value-added. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The metrics for super-out-of-the-box performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think open-source. The capability to harness extensibly leads to the ability to incentivize vertically. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of structuring. The performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. The aptitude to orchestrate micro-micro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think web-enabled. We will add to our aptitude to brand without reducing our ability to enhance. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to optimize dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to embrace interactively. The capability to utilize seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate robustly. Without appropriate markets, channels are forced to become revolutionary. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We will unleash the industry jargon "frictionless". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end dynamic, user-defined, B2C2B returns-on-investment and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to transform virally. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, scalable or to be e-business? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating unplanned-for web services? It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to repurpose intuitively. Think mega-C2B2B, robust. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We will raise our power to grow without reducing our capability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Think 60/24/7/365. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think macro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We frequently exploit integrated paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to mesh efficiently. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing emerging web services? The ability to embrace compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. What does the term "nano-social-network-based, next-generation convergence" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to matrix globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive project management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to incubate extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize nano-efficiently. Think macro-granular. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We understand that if you optimize efficiently then you may also repurpose vertically. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new value-added, cross-media accounting?