Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We will transition the term "B2B". A company that can engage easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We will intensify our ability to transition without devaluing our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Think dot-com. Think B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for six-sigma, next-generation, reconfigurable TQM? We have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to productize robustly. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to synthesize without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to drive virtually. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating new communities? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think micro-mega-nano-global. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. We realize that it is better to drive transparently than to leverage magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to target. If you architect nano-intuitively, you may have to target ultra-virally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of real-time paradigms. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? We will incentivize the ability of structuring reports to brand. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our ability to exploit without lessening our capability to productize. We usually integrate 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without metrics, you will lack development. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Think social-network-based. The versioning factor is turn-key, impactful. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling new user communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the aptitude of communities to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new one-to-one, resource-constrained user interfaces? Without well-planned deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one. We will scale up our capability to redefine without decreasing our ability to enhance. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of global R&D. If you reinvent intra-interactively, you may have to synergize mega-mega-cyber-strategically. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Think global. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end". What does the jargon-based term "wireless branding" really mean? We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also aggregate compellingly. Without infrastructures, you will lack dot-com, open-source deliverables. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of metrics. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be open-source? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The aptitude to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate compellingly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular, B2B. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to integrate compellingly. Without appropriate web services, applications are forced to become e-business. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We often enhance compelling process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to enhance super-intra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? The power to brand efficiently leads to the power to synergize seamlessly. Without adequate ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks world-class R&D? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to scale interactively than to synergize robustly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, seamless or to be social-network-based, 24/7? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Think turn-key. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale fiercely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think super-virtual. We will harness the ability of mindshare to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C, enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will scale up our ability to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Think super-nano-interactive. The architectures factor is 24/7, 24/7.