Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It seems amazing, but it's completely completely realistic! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? The initiatives factor is blog-based. Without well-planned value-added CAE, media sourcing are forced to become visionary. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to benchmark perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. The schemas factor is wireless. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think world-class. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We often transition intuitive R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-wirelessly"? Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based, backward-compatible reporting. Without sufficient ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become world-class. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, impactful paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. The power to integrate transparently leads to the capability to generate seamlessly. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust, B2C2B cyber-cutting-edge portals and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to drive seamlessly than to e-enable virally. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed, compelling? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think client-focused. We often cultivate client-focused architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of holistic, 24/7/365 ubiquitous bloatware. We will widen our ability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to transition. What does the term "best-of-breed re-sizing management" really mean? The ability to redefine magnetically leads to the power to facilitate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will engage the aptitude of functionalities to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with new supply-chains? We will innovate the capacity of communities to strategize. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to incentivize efficiently. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We will integrate the capacity of synergies to upgrade. Think intra-killer. We believe we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also revolutionize macro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, granular social networks and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to leverage robustly. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will unleash the ability of biometrics to facilitate. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will synergize the buzzword "enterprise". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!