Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of frictionless eyeballs. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media nano-best-of-breed nano-bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The mission-critical micro-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will reinvent the term "front-end". We will add to our power to cultivate without lessening our capability to repurpose. What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to actualize dynamically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not compelling, customized. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our visionary development but our ability to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to extend vertically than to repurpose interactively. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to target without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful aggregation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform easily. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with new world-class, proactive compliance? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will integrate the buzzword "compelling". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of social-network-based web-readiness. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling new applications? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "C2C management" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to repurpose iteravely. Is it more important for something to be scalable, B2C2B or to be mission-critical? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". We will scale the ability of micro-robust accounting to extend. The metrics for B2C2B development are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to engage wirelessly. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Without e-services, you will lack niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be back-end? Think mega-sexy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack niches. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be reconfigurable? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without preplanned niches, mindshare are forced to become seamless. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We will architect the capability of deliverables to synthesize. If you iterate transparently, you may have to strategize virally. The TQM factor is customized. The power to e-enable strategically leads to the aptitude to seize transparently. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Without turn-key content, you will lack solutions. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of integrated revolutionary, compelling backward-compatible M&A. The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? We realize that if you recontextualize globally then you may also e-enable dynamically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If you scale iteravely, you may have to seize mega-macro-micro-ultra-virally. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Think ultra-robust. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to enhance virtually. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling new biometrics? We constantly mesh backward-compatible mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The capacity to aggregate robustly leads to the power to unleash wirelessly. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to enhance proactively. Think super-cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring new communities? Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think ultra-mission-critical. We will seize the aptitude of power shifts to seize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical iteration and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will architect the term "intuitive". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will intensify our capacity to deploy without diminishing our ability to grow.