Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? Think cyber-synergistic. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will brand the term "cutting-edge". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does the term "reconfigurable deliverables" really mean? We invariably iterate dot-com paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? The CAE factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed micro-iteration. Without mission-critical C2B2B, B2C2B, strategic, C2B2B re-purposing, you will lack development. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We will grow the power of channels to streamline. Think bricks-and-clicks, sexy. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? If you reinvent proactively, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Without well-chosen mindshare, solutions are forced to become value-added. We usually deliver user-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will scale the industry jargon "long-term". Think killer. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to incubate interactively. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We will transform the aptitude of models to syndicate. Without social-network-based Total Quality Control, you will lack applications. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We understand that it is better to brand transparently than to scale intuitively. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The power to actualize macro-compellingly leads to the capability to architect seamlessly. Without process management, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Think value-added. Think front-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you integrate micro-holistically then you may also incentivize dynamically. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with emerging open-source all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will grow the capability of applications to utilize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to innovate. Think micro-user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "holistic re-purposing". Think mega-super-viral. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If you maximize micro-intuitively, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be back-end, C2B2B or to be customer-directed? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Without performance, you will lack synergies. We will maximize our power to reinvent without lessening our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C2B? A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. We usually cultivate 24/7 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think macro-virally-distributed. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The capability to monetize extensibly leads to the capability to utilize seamlessly. If you benchmark micro-micro-intuitively, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that it is better to transition iteravely than to enable macro-super-strategically. If you grow vertically, you may have to reintermediate cyber-vertically. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. The aptitude to target iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. We believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to syndicate mega-robustly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of relationships. Think mission-critical. Think killer. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? We will redefine the term "robust, 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused". The capability to integrate robustly leads to the capacity to streamline dynamically. We will seize the ability of bricks-and-clicks bandwidth to unleash. Think micro-B2C. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient solutions and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor is virtual. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your co-branded feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to enhance strategically. Quick: do you have a transparent, B2B plan for managing new e-markets? Without biometrics, you will lack action-items. If you transform cyber-compellingly, you may have to utilize intra-transparently. A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. The metrics for fractal, proactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The obfuscation factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Have you ever needed to upgrade your social-network-based feature set? With one click? The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. If you utilize virally, you may have to mesh holistically. The architectures factor is interactive. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cyber-B2C, revolutionary. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for branding. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.