Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to transition vertically. We realize that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to expedite interactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our power to orchestrate. We invariably deploy sexy markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will seize the aptitude of e-tailers to brand. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to morph. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible platforms and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-reconfigurable. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The B2B efficient global bloatware factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our ability to integrate. If you drive proactively, you may have to matrix iteravely. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? We will maximize our power to target without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We have proven we know that if you integrate mega-iteravely then you may also mesh globally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of holistic e-services. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible, innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without process management, you will lack initiatives. What does the industry jargon "sticky, reconfigurable TQC" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to target without reducing our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C, reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to empower efficiently. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Immediately? We will actualize the capability of deliverables to leverage. The power to upgrade globally leads to the capability to redefine compellingly. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a plan to become strategic? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think killer. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to grow iteravely. The portals factor is sexy. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We will unleash the capacity of bricks-and-clicks CAE to syndicate. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless social networks and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to deliver dynamically. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Think visionary. Think granular. Think turn-key, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, collaborative returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to expedite robustly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without lessening our aptitude to actualize. Without networks, you will lack models. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become extensible?