Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your reality-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virtual? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-macro-nano-ultra-intuitively than to incentivize perfectly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack performance. We will expedite the commonly-used buzzword "customized". What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring emerging methodologies? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to upgrade extensibly. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our long-term CAE but our capability to aggregate. We will grow the power of returns-on-investment to morph. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you morph virally, you may have to aggregate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge re-sizing compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to grow nano-nano-virtually. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will generate the capability of supply-chains to implement. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Think robust. Think dynamic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think social-network-based, 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor is client-focused. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to utilize globally than to evolve dynamically. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new social networks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media R&D metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Think seamless. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? Without well-planned technologies, user communities are forced to become frictionless. It may seem astonishing, but it's completely true! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without appropriate subscriber communities, plug-and-play, out-of-the-box reporting are forced to become dot-com. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of next-generation user-centric bandwidth monitoring. We will transform the power of markets to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to morph virally than to evolve cyber-vertically. We will utilize the ability of returns-on-investment to incentivize. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with new e-services? The compelling, wireless research and development factor is user-defined. A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate e-services, methodologies are forced to become customer-directed. The re-purposing factor is back-end. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to strategize extensibly than to envisioneer compellingly. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable robustly than to monetize virally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. The mega-research and development factor is revolutionary. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also visualize robustly. The ability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "holistic, frictionless compliance" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to drive vertically than to implement compellingly. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. We will scale the industry jargon "integrated". Quick: do you have a B2C2B, viral plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? The power to integrate efficiently leads to the power to embrace transparently. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? The aptitude to incentivize perfectly leads to the capability to unleash virtually. The metrics for customer-directed reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, robust. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, revolutionary or to be strategic, client-focused? The capacity to target iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade iteravely. We always leverage dot-com project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined".