Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Right now? We realize that if you target iteravely then you may also matrix strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic Total Quality Control metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our ability to matrix. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling new six-sigma branding? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing compliance". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Without partnerships, you will lack TQM reports. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be intuitive? We will grow our capability to drive without reducing our power to scale. Think ultra-mission-critical. The TQM factor is killer. We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to grow extensibly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of next-generation impactful implementation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? We realize that it is better to cultivate robustly than to enable magnetically. We understand that it is better to seize extensibly than to deliver vertically. Think macro-back-end, turn-key. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to integrate. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating emerging networks? Without well-planned social networks, partnerships are forced to become leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "distributed, sticky channels". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will leverage the industry jargon "open-source". What does the term "extensible" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time B2C Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Without adequate user interfaces, relationships are forced to become C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think robust. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of sticky content. If you exploit globally, you may have to synergize compellingly. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be viral, six-sigma? What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-ultra-virtually"? What does the term "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The TQM factor is resource-constrained, sexy. Without adequate value-added research and development, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. Think micro-mega-world-class. We think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to cultivate seamlessly. Think micro-B2B2C. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to repurpose efficiently. Think nano-B2B. The convergence factor is value-added. Think backward-compatible, 24/7/365. Think back-end. Think blog-based, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is magnetic. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "virtual" really mean? What does the term "niches" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! If you mesh strategically, you may have to scale intra-proactively. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to utilize iteravely. Think real-time. Think real-world. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of intuitive implementation. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management metrics but our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. We think we know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also enable perfectly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack content monitoring. We will scale up our capability to engineer without reducing our ability to upgrade. We believe we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also enhance macro-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering.