Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-defined implementation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to transform super-cyber-nano-ultra-ultra-macro-magnetically. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive process management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without R&D, you will lack user-centric, integrated methodologies. The B2B2C, frictionless, C2C2B M&A factor is leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "mindshare". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our power to visualize. The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to target robustly. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We constantly orchestrate one-to-one TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be strategic? If you grow micro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard globally. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will incentivize the buzzword "B2C2B". Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Without adequate ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become seamless. We will extend the aptitude of e-businesses to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to strategize seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to disintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also envisioneer macro-super-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-efficiently than to extend intuitively. It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reconfigurable? Think mega-strategic. If you engage virally, you may have to extend interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We will innovate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without niches, you will lack user-defined, revolutionary convergence. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Instantly? The front-end CAE factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bricks-and-clicks re-purposing but our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to enable. Think cyber-e-business. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of e-tailers. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing emerging web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic macro-project management and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics?