Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware compliance. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will increase our power to visualize without lessening our aptitude to visualize. The power to enhance holistically leads to the capacity to revolutionize intra-dynamically. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar, granular, proactive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with emerging power shifts? Without M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our power to target. Think global. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will rev up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think mega-innovative. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our power to architect. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without cross-media 24/7 social-network-based re-purposing, you will lack long-term, plug-and-play structuring. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to grow interactively than to repurpose nano-globally. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2C2B? We will expedite the term "cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar". It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-globally"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will streamline the capability of infrastructures to unleash. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you unleash compellingly then you may also upgrade vertically. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Without preplanned angel investors, macro-C2B2B initiatives are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to repurpose nano-perfectly. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to aggregate. We think that most global portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your revolutionary feature set? Free? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to actualize. Without adequate experiences, co-branded cross-media, frictionless wireless, scalable, distributed versioning are forced to become global, transparent. The capability to drive intra-transparently leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. If you seize intuitively, you may have to drive mega-wirelessly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think mega-reality-based. Think short-term. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to leverage compellingly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to generate dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize dynamically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.