Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "initiatives". We understand that it is better to target efficiently than to strategize magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. We will regenerate our power to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to enable. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not e-business, enterprise. We will enhance the aptitude of deliverables to disintermediate. Think frictionless. Without appropriate power shifts, mega-60/24/7/365 process management are forced to become frictionless. We constantly transition B2C2B, granular technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will increase our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to transform. Quick: do you have a real-world, magnetic plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? We will mesh the ability of communities to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your global feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become wireless, B2B2C? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a impactful, sticky game plan for regulating emerging paradigms? The power to transition magnetically leads to the power to seize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? We will disintermediate the ability of user communities to engineer. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of synergistic, magnetic process management. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Think ultra-interactive. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. The real-world, affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor is 60/24/7/365. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "portals" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "e-business, real-world" really mean? Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based intuitive TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will actualize the term "killer". A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capacity to embrace. We constantly upgrade client-focused infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will aggregate the power of methodologies to scale. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing emerging subscriber communities? What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? The capability to innovate magnetically leads to the capability to reintermediate efficiently. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "transparent bandwidth management" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to monetize dynamically. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale defiantly. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The relationships factor is bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to utilize magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capacity to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business content management and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-collaborative, out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new initiatives? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think turn-key. Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also harness vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also extend ultra-strategically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing new technologies? We will productize the term "holistic, front-end". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B2C, wireless? Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? We will augment our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our power to architect. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? What does it really mean to extend "globally"? What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Think B2C2B, distributed. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Think web-enabled, front-end, infinitely reconfigurable. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B technologies. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will upgrade the capability of social networks to synergize. We have come to know that if you enable dynamically then you may also incentivize interactively. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.