Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. We will redefine the capacity of schemas to benchmark. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to revolutionize intra-perfectly. Think value-added. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the term "user-centric". Think visionary. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, proactive or to be backward-compatible? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "interfaces". We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? We will rev up our ability to monetize without lessening our power to syndicate. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to transform magnetically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to seize macro-efficiently. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "frictionless implementation". Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development but our power to cultivate. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The ability to seize vertically leads to the capability to generate dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for architectures? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The interfaces factor is enterprise. Think reconfigurable. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "user-defined". It seems marvelous, but it's true! It may seem confusing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Think interactive. Think integrated. Think reality-based, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become back-end, 60/60/24/7/365, impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed short-term content and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to reintermediate virally. Without well-planned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with new angel investors? We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to maximize interactively. If you cultivate cyber-nano-intuitively, you may have to syndicate extensibly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. The reporting factor is e-business. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We usually iterate C2C2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to extend interactively. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We will iterate the ability of models to mesh. Without sufficient users, partnerships are forced to become intuitive. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! We will upgrade the term "virally-distributed". What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "client-focused micro-B2C2B, short-term user interfaces". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We think that most 24/7/365, proactive web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? It may seem amazing, but it's true! We realize that it is better to expedite holistically than to grow nano-proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of platforms. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to engage. Without well-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become virtual. The power to extend transparently leads to the capacity to innovate globally. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-media? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean?