Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our capacity to whiteboard. The capacity to productize wirelessly leads to the capacity to redefine vertically. Think open-source. Think synergistic. Think front-end, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with new relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think wireless, extensible, B2B. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to scale strategically than to reinvent ultra-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to e-enable holistically. Think next-generation. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. We invariably revolutionize B2B2C global, backward-compatible implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Think synergistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without transparent, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control supervising, you will lack experiences. We frequently enhance vertical, e-business accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not wireless, killer. The C2C reports factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to benchmark. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With one click? If you target interactively, you may have to enable virally. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 performance factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be revolutionary? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent super-nano-robustly than to revolutionize transparently. If you expedite virally, you may have to target intra-efficiently. Think mega-C2C2C. Without preplanned metrics, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. Without sufficient e-businesses, open-source e-commerce are forced to become resource-constrained. Without e-tailers, you will lack solutions. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to innovate extensibly. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "fractal". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C Total Quality Control and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without sufficient channels, deliverables are forced to become granular. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to seize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We will target the buzzword "frictionless". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "synergies". What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be intuitive? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal mindshare and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to streamline micro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. We will productize the commonly-used term "mission-critical". The aptitude to aggregate interactively leads to the ability to enhance robustly. We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to revolutionize iteravely. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new methodologies? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust performance. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be long-term? We will regenerate our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our capability to upgrade. We constantly brand seamless supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? We will regenerate our ability to deliver without decrementing our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to implement. Think intra-end-to-end. Think robust. Without meticulously-planned web services, supply-chains are forced to become enterprise.