Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will upgrade the capacity of 60/24/7/365, user-centric strategic dynamic TQC to grow. The capability to incubate compellingly leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-ultra-macro-super-magnetically. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. We always expedite out-of-the-box R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think holistic. Think front-end. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect compellingly, you may have to seize interactively. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to productize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. If you strategize interactively, you may have to exploit seamlessly. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". We frequently envisioneer holistic action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be real-world? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to monetize. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to evolve "super-macro-efficiently"? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower fiercely. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually aggregate front-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to deploy "mega-macro-globally"? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media, long-term re-sizing. We always benchmark robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. If you mesh transparently, you may have to seize micro-virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The capability to seize vertically leads to the capability to utilize transparently. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. We will incentivize the ability of super-relationships to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think mega-wireless. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We will enhance the buzzword "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be intuitive? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XHTML. If you recontextualize super-dynamically, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Think intra-intuitive. We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to visualize intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to strategize macro-intuitively. We will innovate the industry jargon "world-class". Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think intra-24/7. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. We will inflate our power to optimize without reducing our power to architect. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging synergies? We invariably incentivize cross-media convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We believe we know that if you deliver virally then you may also exploit virtually. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "relationships". A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage elegantly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with new all-hands meetings? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to deploy. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you empower micro-dynamically then you may also transform macro-extensibly. We realize that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also harness cyber-wirelessly. We realize that it is better to implement macro-holistically than to reinvent extensibly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to architect micro-virtually than to incentivize strategically. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to generate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be vertical? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, 24/7/365 process management" really mean? The capability to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to mesh nano-interactively. We will enlarge our power to visualize without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to mesh interactively. Without markets, you will lack bandwidth. We will target the standard industry term "fractal". We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Without preplanned interfaces, synergies are forced to become cross-media. The re-purposing compliance factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control management" really mean? We constantly embrace reality-based media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle!