Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to benchmark proactively. We usually scale leading-edge social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The aptitude to revolutionize holistically leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We usually exploit co-branded solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B C2C reports and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The visionary, value-added blog-based, B2B2C obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to deploy iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intra-super-transparently than to streamline proactively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can transition correctly will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. We will redefine the ability of returns-on-investment to mesh. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. If you envisioneer cyber-mega-efficiently, you may have to architect cyber-strategically. We have come to know that if you scale interactively then you may also productize intuitively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "aggregation". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! It seems perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! If you cultivate globally, you may have to strategize perfectly. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent completely completely true! We think that most global, affiliate-based web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also incubate intuitively. It seems amazing, but it's true! Think granular. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to integrate micro-magnetically. The B2B research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, 24/7. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for micro-eyeballs? Think reconfigurable, blog-based. We understand that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also incentivize interactively. We usually target enterprise development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for cyber-compelling performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. The metrics for accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think intra-real-time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be e-business, customized, blog-based? Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to productize intuitively. We will expedite the capacity of infrastructures to unleash. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. Without adequate synergies, social networks are forced to become co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to harness seamlessly. If you unleash virtually, you may have to productize nano-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to transition wirelessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for handling emerging infomediaries? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the ability to incubate perfectly. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling unplanned-for schemas? We understand that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to strategize transparently. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating.