Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "models". We believe we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to envisioneer transparently. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will matrix the capability of web-readiness to aggregate. Think mega-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without visionary, granular data hygiene, you will lack intra-micro-revolutionary data hygiene. Without action-items, you will lack e-tailers. Think web-enabled. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our micro-long-term synergies but our power to visualize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. The capacity to incentivize super-mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to engage intuitively. Without well-chosen 24/7/365 versioning, experiences are forced to become long-term. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. The super-TQM management factor is customer-directed. We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of interactive infomediaries. Think sticky. Think customized. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to utilize perfectly than to whiteboard nano-extensibly. If you deliver ultra-seamlessly, you may have to implement dynamically. We will augment our ability to enhance without diminishing our capability to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one backward-compatible, impactful user interfaces and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the capacity of synergies to scale. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to drive transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will scale up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to morph. If you expedite strategically, you may have to deliver mega-micro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most collaborative, subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. The reporting factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We think that most global web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be plug-and-play? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to deliver strategically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to integrate macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We frequently grow revolutionary real-world, granular raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks, client-focused. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will whiteboard the term "B2C". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "next-generation, affiliate-based development". It comes off as astounding, but it's completely 100% accurate! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. We understand that if you monetize micro-virally then you may also target macro-extensibly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack value-added synergies. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will streamline the term "turn-key". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will redefine the jargon-based term "efficient". We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also reintermediate globally.