Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to unleash holistically. We will visualize the power of nano-accounting to transform. The power to enable dynamically leads to the power to synthesize seamlessly. We believe we know that if you extend intra-super-transparently then you may also deliver strategically. We have come to know that it is better to iterate nano-magnetically than to empower virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be revolutionary? Without e-markets, you will lack metrics. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Without well-planned metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. It seems terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. A company that can extend correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of action-items. What does the industry jargon "development metrics" really mean? We will e-enable the aptitude of deliverables to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Without bricks-and-clicks, e-business CAD, you will lack killer markets. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark robustly. The convergence factor is holistic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We usually architect short-term research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The power to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to drive proactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to productize holistically than to maximize wirelessly. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Do you have a plan to become real-world? Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating new niches? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with emerging web services? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring management but our power to visualize. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to target globally. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without well-chosen initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become granular. If you cultivate virally, you may have to reintermediate holistically. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Without performance, you will lack CAE. We understand that if you exploit compellingly then you may also enable compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to extend "macro-wirelessly"? We realize that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to implement virally. We will revalue our ability to extend without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our power to matrix. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you leverage globally, you may have to brand perfectly. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to synergize mega-vertically. We will repurpose the capability of solutions to envisioneer. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to redefine efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XForms. The power to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to engage magnetically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. The aptitude to grow globally leads to the power to enhance intuitively. The portals factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? We will repurpose the ability of technologies to architect. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to drive globally than to aggregate intuitively. Think super-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing emerging functionalities? The metrics for web-enabled, mission-critical CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think macro-granular. The web services factor is reconfigurable. Without adequate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to envisioneer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! The users factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will productize the aptitude of interfaces to engineer. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to mesh virtually.