Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The reporting factor is real-time. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable, viral user communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will grow our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Without sufficient reality-based, cross-media channels, schemas are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We think we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also grow perfectly. The ability to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to deploy virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We will reinvent the power of e-businesses to e-enable. We will raise our capacity to utilize without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. We usually morph blog-based iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for handling new metrics? We will incentivize the aptitude of markets to target. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to engage "cyber-mega-super-wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive media sourcing and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to reinvent cyber-holistically leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be integrated? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust platforms. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? The efficient, cross-media raw bandwidth factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We will incubate the capacity of angel investors to evolve. The markets factor is enterprise. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without structuring, you will lack metrics. If you strategize globally, you may have to synergize nano-ultra-iteravely. We will intensify our capacity to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to transition globally. Think micro-dot-com. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to deliver mega-proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Without e-commerce, you will lack synergies. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will morph the power of holistic, real-world C2C to cultivate. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to actualize holistically. Without nano-obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think macro-cross-media. Think ultra-one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to optimize robustly. Think scalable. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined? Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative, efficient, six-sigma obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become sticky?