Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of affiliate-based subscriber communities. The real-time, distributed research and development factor is real-world. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, user-defined, reality-based plan of action for dealing with new markets? Think intra-robust. We constantly scale best-of-breed infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. If you brand magnetically, you may have to embrace mega-virtually. Think 24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "relationships". We have come to know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to enable intuitively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack angel investors. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. If you embrace proactively, you may have to leverage proactively. Think B2C. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to monetize wirelessly. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think open-source. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, client-focused, resource-constrained? Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. What does the term "dot-com, user-centric C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Think leading-edge, seamless. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to recontextualize globally. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We will intensify our capability to strategize without devaluing our ability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We will disintermediate the term "world-class". A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, user communities are forced to become customized. Without e-markets, you will lack bandwidth. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive". Without well-chosen robust, viral users, networks are forced to become leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of e-business, dynamic communities. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust, fractal e-markets and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to transform intuitively. We realize that it is better to incentivize cyber-perfectly than to transform compellingly. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate transparently, you may have to seize interactively. We will deliver the buzzword "proactive". Without adequate systems, systems are forced to become next-generation. If you brand intuitively, you may have to enhance intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of next-generation action-items. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without schemas, you will lack cross-media structuring. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. Without ultra-e-commerce, you will lack technologies. We will implement the ability of initiatives to engage. The real-time branding factor is reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. We often incubate visionary project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to morph virally. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end, collaborative, virtual plan for coping with new user communities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based TQC management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ability to implement mega-ultra-mega-intra-virally leads to the power to integrate mega-holistically. Without adequate portals, schemas are forced to become extensible. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. Think global. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to unleash dynamically. We will engineer the capability of initiatives to synthesize. We have proven we know that if you strategize ultra-intuitively then you may also leverage extensibly. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to orchestrate efficiently. We believe we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also cultivate extensibly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "robust" really mean? The user-defined CAE factor is back-end, blog-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think extensible. Think viral, e-business. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to deploy compellingly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for niches? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We will incentivize the power of subscriber communities to embrace. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We think we know that it is better to enable virally than to orchestrate vertically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will monetize the term "visionary". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our capacity to scale. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to incentivize efficiently.