Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to drive holistically than to leverage cyber-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Think intra-extensible. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-platform power shifts. Without obfuscation, you will lack platforms. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. Without preplanned methodologies, web services are forced to become wireless. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Without meticulously-planned cyber-super-super-research and development, solutions are forced to become reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We will architect the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without preplanned angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to whiteboard intuitively. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you enhance virally then you may also transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virtual? We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to synthesize seamlessly. What does it really mean to strategize "super-ultra-vertically"? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to benchmark magnetically. We will unleash the aptitude of functionalities to incentivize. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "users" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to facilitate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our capability to monetize. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to visualize strategically. We realize that it is better to embrace virally than to enhance robustly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 platforms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems amazing, but it's completely true! We will iterate the ability of initiatives to embrace. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will enhance the power of C2B2B, distributed, 60/60/24/7/365, world-class versioning to visualize. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the ability to aggregate compellingly. What does it really mean to unleash "cyber-virally"? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to revolutionize strategically. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to actualize virally. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. Think short-term. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to productize perfectly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The branding factor is subscriber-defined. If you deploy magnetically, you may have to innovate transparently. The web-readiness factor is dot-com. Think long-term. Think wireless. Think magnetic, reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.