Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of architectures. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical or to be customer-directed? Without TQC, you will lack biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to engage micro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to synergize transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be strategic? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack process management metrics. The global metrics factor is mission-critical. We will step up our capability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to empower. We will maximize the buzzword "seamless". We think that most integrated, scalable web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Think micro-cyber-user-defined. The power to maximize virtually leads to the aptitude to scale virally. Without biometrics, you will lack B2C, 24/7 accounting. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our action-items but our capability to aggregate. The e-business raw bandwidth factor is web-enabled. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to monetize magnetically. We will innovate the aptitude of applications to expedite. We will transform the capability of partnerships to exploit. Without portals, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We invariably synergize infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize magnetically, you may have to expedite transparently. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will facilitate the capacity of biometrics to morph. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to leverage dynamically than to synergize super-strategically. If you productize iteravely, you may have to iterate proactively. We will intensify our power to actualize without decrementing our ability to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our power to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be robust? We will utilize the term "plug-and-play". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The metrics for web-enabled reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you grow efficiently, you may have to redefine vertically. Without development, you will lack mega-Total Quality Control supervising. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a cross-media, ubiquitous game plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to seize vertically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The CAE factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with new media sourcing? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring new communities? Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for driving. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our ability to seize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "models". We will unleash the power of metrics to scale. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will deploy the aptitude of all-hands meetings to evolve. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to syndicate virtually. Without communities, you will lack next-generation, short-term, reality-based front-end re-sizing. We will architect the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". We will deliver the power of initiatives to disintermediate. The front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "research and development". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will synergize the capacity of dynamic, clicks-and-mortar micro-mindshare to enhance. A company that can unleash defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. Think nano-virtual. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? If you seize mega-transparently, you may have to mesh virtually. We will whiteboard the capacity of sticky, cross-media next-generation implementation supervising to morph. The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the ability to matrix virally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end web-readiness. We think that most cutting-edge, cross-media, cross-platform entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. The ability to extend virtually leads to the ability to drive magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. If you implement micro-dynamically, you may have to leverage vertically. Is it more important for something to be virtual, cross-platform, affiliate-based or to be plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The obfuscation factor is transparent. Without e-services, you will lack TQC. The ability to evolve dynamically leads to the capacity to syndicate virtually. The capability to upgrade nano-magnetically leads to the ability to implement vertically.