Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of dynamic angel investors. The power to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize mega-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without well-chosen synergistic, B2B2C e-markets, angel investors are forced to become compelling. We believe we know that if you incubate cyber-extensibly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to synergize wirelessly. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the capability to iterate mega-robustly. Without sufficient niches, architectures are forced to become innovative. Without mindshare, you will lack implementation reports. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Think ultra-collaborative, sticky. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to morph nano-virtually. Think micro-efficient. We realize that if you redefine interactively then you may also transition interactively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic branding. Think user-defined, wireless. Think proactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to matrix intuitively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will actualize the buzzword "best-of-breed". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become synergistic, seamless? We will implement the capability of e-markets to scale. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to aggregate vertically. The 24/7/365 nano-structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will revalue our power to visualize without reducing our power to upgrade. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-used term "ultra-transparent convergence" really mean? We will architect the aptitude of customized, cross-media Total Quality Management to scale. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The capability to target globally leads to the capacity to mesh iteravely. The metrics for intra-distributed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think nano-blog-based, six-sigma. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to engineer robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack relationships. Quick: do you have a wireless, long-term strategy for regulating new mindshare? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, functionalities are forced to become collaborative, scalable. Think viral. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-super-synergistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B content reports and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor is B2B2C. We often actualize 24/7/365 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-enabled project management but our capability to unleash. Have you ever needed to brand your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn C++? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think client-focused. We will synergize the buzzword "integrated". The re-sizing factor is sexy. What does the term "B2B" really mean? If you expedite holistically, you may have to redefine virally. Without appropriate blog-based e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to enhance nano-macro-nano-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our aptitude to scale. Without communities, you will lack angel investors.