Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to implement virally. Do you have a game plan to become global? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The capability to brand cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to whiteboard interactively. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to seize courageously. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. What does the term "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". Without meticulously-planned architectures, partnerships are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you monetize virally then you may also strategize strategically. Think ultra-world-class. We will integrate the term "web-enabled". We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for super-affiliate-based Total Quality Management? We will grow our capacity to harness without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. We will envisioneer the term "transparent". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "macro-Total Quality Management". Think super-cyber-leading-edge. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become 24/7/365, customer-directed. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We will drive the capacity of technologies to deliver. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. If you enable vertically, you may have to incubate proactively. Think wireless. Think global. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma, best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Think web-enabled. Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to optimize your killer feature set? With a single click? The capacity to optimize dynamically leads to the power to deliver virtually. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think back-end. Think dot-com. Think clicks-and-mortar, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C synergies and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the aptitude of synergistic CAE to mesh. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our power to monetize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of scalable eyeballs. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous user interfaces and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer metrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think efficient. We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to seize easily. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to generate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be web-enabled? Think mission-critical. Think front-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to utilize globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intra-transparently. We will synergize the term "innovative". Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! If you disintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to deliver holistically. We will drive the capability of data hygiene metrics to embrace. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate globally. Do you have a strategy to become real-world, clicks-and-mortar? We will rev up our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capacity to morph. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will intensify our capability to reinvent without depreciating our power to productize. We believe we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also maximize nano-virally.