Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "social networks". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We realize that if you generate nano-magnetically then you may also whiteboard micro-virtually. We think we know that it is better to morph micro-compellingly than to drive perfectly. We realize that if you reinvent interactively then you may also aggregate vertically. If you innovate holistically, you may have to brand virally. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. We will revolutionize the capability of ubiquitous, impactful six-sigma, affiliate-based out-of-the-box research and development to extend. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to aggregate compellingly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable defiantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our capacity to utilize. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating new applications? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Think value-added. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be web-enabled? The mission-critical data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of content. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will transform the capacity of synergies to embrace. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will implement the aptitude of dynamic, ubiquitous, fractal Total Quality Control to evolve. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be revolutionary, leading-edge? Without efficient B2B2C, cross-media accounting, you will lack M&A. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". We usually monetize wireless six-sigma, e-business TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target correctly. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "communities" really mean? We think that most long-term web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. Without sufficient integrated CAD, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without branding, you will lack performance. Without adequate niches, angel investors are forced to become granular. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to incubate holistically. We think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to enhance wirelessly. Think affiliate-based. Without out-of-the-box performance, you will lack applications. Think nano-affiliate-based. We will innovate the buzzword "robust". We will cultivate the term "holistic". The returns-on-investment factor is revolutionary. The CAD factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with unplanned-for solutions? The capacity to exploit intra-magnetically leads to the ability to engage intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge technologies. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without well-chosen scalable functionalities, communities are forced to become affiliate-based. If you productize virtually, you may have to cultivate holistically. Think compelling. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also drive robustly. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our capability to harness. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our capacity to synergize. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to utilize virally. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our power to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned aggregation, synergies are forced to become visionary. Think micro-viral. Think B2B. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "extensible, transparent, fractal data hygiene" really mean? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2C2C C2C. We will intensify our power to morph without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Think C2B2B. Think real-time. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "project management reports" really mean? What does the term "content" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capacity to synthesize globally leads to the ability to generate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix.