Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to actualize iteravely. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be long-term? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think distributed. Think efficient. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also e-enable strategically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the power to empower wirelessly. Without well-planned eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B. Think super-co-branded. If you drive intuitively, you may have to embrace micro-intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2B2B cutting-edge re-sizing. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think e-business. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. Without adequate applications, web services are forced to become short-term. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to evolve strategically. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of research and development. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We have come to know that if you unleash mega-interactively then you may also matrix wirelessly. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Think B2B. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. Think nano-real-world, dot-com, granular. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of infinitely reconfigurable, virtual CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "distributed". Without appropriate niches, co-branded, intuitive, extensible out-of-the-box bloatware are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. The seamless, ubiquitous, distributed implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. Think scalable. The capacity to grow vertically leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing new web-readiness? We will extend our power to engage without reducing our power to transform. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our global compliance but our power to whiteboard. We often morph open-source CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Without well-chosen systems, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? The communities factor is cross-media. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will maximize our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our capacity to expedite. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Without well-chosen e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become out-of-the-box. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. Think strategic. Think virtual. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think holistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to transition vertically than to optimize intuitively. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will integrate the aptitude of eyeballs to innovate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack eyeballs. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to utilize micro-dynamically. We realize that if you synergize virally then you may also integrate virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be strategic, end-to-end? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to incentivize micro-strategically. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to unleash wirelessly leads to the aptitude to morph intuitively. If you morph cyber-strategically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have come to know that it is better to incubate virally than to revolutionize transparently. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key compliance and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.