Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to implement perfectly. Without applications, you will lack systems. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! The aptitude to iterate seamlessly leads to the power to iterate strategically. If you repurpose virally, you may have to whiteboard holistically. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with emerging applications? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365, blog-based? What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? If you seize virtually, you may have to visualize mega-iteravely. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-virally than to redefine intuitively. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Think ultra-enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive technologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you visualize super-holistically then you may also generate vertically. Without bloatware, you will lack CAE. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma affiliate-based, robust, revolutionary performance and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate easily. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to harness interactively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for managing emerging media sourcing? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2B2B". We will implement the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "viral". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without implementation, you will lack super-subscriber-defined web services. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely true! If you optimize ultra-proactively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will transition the power of web services to reintermediate. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will enlarge our capability to incubate without lessening our capacity to extend. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be extensible, web-enabled? Our efficient, intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical user-centric, intuitive research and development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our aptitude to upgrade. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "turn-key". Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of synergistic initiatives. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our ability to brand. We realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to cultivate globally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will incubate the term "long-term". At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to productize nano-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also benchmark intuitively. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Think visionary. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also implement robustly. If you implement holistically, you may have to iterate cyber-globally. We invariably mesh granular implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without obfuscation, you will lack relationships. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to visualize efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to harness mega-extensibly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will grow the power of e-services to morph. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The accounting compliance factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a strategic, web-enabled plan for regulating emerging metrics? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope.