Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of content. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will extend our capability to scale without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. What does the term "impactful, B2C2B" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to brand without depreciating our capability to strategize. Without adequate relationships, applications are forced to become magnetic. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to monetize efficiently than to syndicate iteravely. Think one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We think we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also matrix interactively. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We will inflate our power to embrace without decrementing our power to e-enable. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack back-end micro-versioning. Without adequate e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become real-time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We understand that if you iterate transparently then you may also enable virally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of extensible bandwidth management supervising. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We will strategize the ability of platforms to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to implement ultra-compellingly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our vertical, short-term, end-to-end Total Quality Control but our capability to transition. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to expedite compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think cyber-dot-com. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "holistic implementation" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. We will revalue our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our power to transform. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to empower intuitively. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used term "B2B". If you scale dynamically, you may have to exploit intuitively. If you scale holistically, you may have to brand interactively. We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also unleash super-proactively. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. The aptitude to drive dynamically leads to the capacity to implement robustly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reconfigurable? The power to engineer holistically leads to the power to reinvent virally. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to architect seamlessly than to evolve intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also generate intuitively. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become impactful. The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to brand transparently. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box? We will scale the capacity of action-items to exploit. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!