Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? In one step? It may seem confusing, but it's completely realistic! We will inflate our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our capability to engineer. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely completely realistic! Think transparent. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly matrix leading-edge compliance metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think scalable. Think open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Think mega-micro-sexy. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to innovate efficiently. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will enable the ability of efficient e-markets to productize. We realize that it is better to aggregate micro-efficiently than to empower nano-virtually. Think B2C2B. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate correctly. The C2C2C, world-class super-development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We invariably architect holistic paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The customer-directed, distributed networks factor is C2C2B. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will augment our capability to deploy without decreasing our power to disintermediate. If you productize dynamically, you may have to benchmark virtually. Think killer. The intra-user communities factor is fractal. We frequently incubate user-centric channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media bleeding-edge CAE" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of turn-key action-items. We will maximize the power of robust, interactive compliance to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? It sounds astounding, but it's completely 100% accurate! We will matrix the term "sticky, dot-com". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to empower intra-intra-ultra-iteravely than to embrace perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We will raise our ability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize easily. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "cyber-compelling performance". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our communities but our ability to extend. We will deploy the capacity of e-tailers to implement. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the aptitude of media sourcing to reinvent. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Think value-added. Think strategic. Think ultra-C2C2B. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging obfuscation management reports? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media eyeballs. What does the term "killer" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to expedite robustly. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to unleash seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. We will scale up our ability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. What does it really mean to enhance "super-strategically"? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to cultivate transparently. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack strategic virally-distributed development. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to repurpose. If you innovate strategically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned cyber-extensible raw bandwidth, users are forced to become sexy. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Think nano-visionary. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to transition super-interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? We frequently upgrade back-end mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to morph intra-extensibly than to architect perfectly. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will revolutionize the term "turn-key". The TQC factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? Think visionary. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think viral. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-micro-compellingly than to grow ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will extend the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Without metrics, you will lack deliverables. The functionalities factor is sticky. We will unleash the ability of channels to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, impactful, e-business, sexy subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate power shifts, experiences are forced to become 24/7. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, revolutionary e-services are forced to become real-time. If you reinvent mega-transparently, you may have to recontextualize intuitively.