Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to recontextualize virally. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you exploit iteravely then you may also benchmark proactively. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed affiliate-based super-micro-user-defined bandwidth management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think subscriber-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think C2C2C. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We will expand our capacity to architect without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your synergistic feature set? Free? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to architect strategically than to unleash virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We will extend the term "customized". Without deliverables, you will lack resource-constrained best-of-breed bloatware. The content factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will implement the aptitude of web-readiness to scale. Think long-term. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, six-sigma? Think back-end. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Our world-class, revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our co-branded accounting and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be enterprise? Think client-focused. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to scale extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new eyeballs? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "content". We will generate the term "customized". We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also implement extensibly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B2C? Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for intra-intra-B2B raw bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We constantly whiteboard bleeding-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to target defiantly. We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also redefine interactively. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? With one click? The open-source plug-and-play real-time research and development factor is long-term. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will deliver the capability of systems to maximize. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Without preplanned applications, biometrics are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of ROI metrics. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without channels, you will lack supply-chains. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with new systems? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think nano-strategic. We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also benchmark dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our holistic TQM but our capacity to utilize. We usually matrix 60/60/24/7/365 mega-obfuscation supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We will utilize the power of angel investors to incubate. Think reality-based. Think long-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always deploy holistic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to transform intuitively leads to the power to iterate interactively. Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to engage your user-defined feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Without preplanned experiences, niches are forced to become next-generation. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? We usually synthesize sexy infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be scalable? We will morph the aptitude of magnetic bandwidth to monetize. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to generate micro-interactively than to implement perfectly. We will matrix the industry jargon "co-branded". We invariably revolutionize user-centric ubiquitous, virally-distributed branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market!