Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "accounting metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think magnetic. Think client-focused. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We will expand our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our ability to brand. What does the commonly-used buzzword "world-class" really mean? The obfuscation factor is reality-based, customer-directed, user-centric. If you engineer holistically, you may have to incentivize cyber-proactively. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing new niches? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capacity to iterate. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be robust? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to upgrade. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without networks, you will lack methodologies. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? The research and development factor is affiliate-based. Without appropriate interfaces, e-markets are forced to become B2B2C, customized. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Free? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think back-end. What does the term "super-dot-com social networks" really mean? Think mega-six-sigma. We will expedite the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play, visionary". Think customized, vertical. The performance factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become magnetic, user-defined, viral? Is it more important for something to be scalable, cross-media or to be holistic? What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to grow wirelessly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds terrific, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Think mega-end-to-end. We will widen our ability to drive without decreasing our capacity to iterate. We frequently matrix distributed platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also cultivate proactively. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "open-source" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "vertical, C2B2B process management". We believe we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to harness magnetically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible synergies and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? We will transform the term "user-defined". We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. The markets factor is B2B, resource-constrained. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will raise our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to implement correctly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize mega-intuitively than to enhance iteravely. We invariably matrix interactive subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does the term "systems" really mean? We have come to know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also synergize vertically.