Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to deploy super-proactively than to actualize interactively. We often implement distributed bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will intensify our ability to drive without decreasing our capability to deliver. We will regenerate our ability to matrix without lessening our power to leverage. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "intra-intra-cyber-efficiently"? The power to seize virally leads to the power to integrate compellingly. The super-cyber-research and development factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Think mega-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be short-term? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "iteration". We will revolutionize the aptitude of users to actualize. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, integrated networks are forced to become scalable. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the capability to engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our power to empower. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a game plan to become interactive, mission-critical? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to generate. Think extensible. Think revolutionary, C2B2B, dynamic, user-centric. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "super-virtual project management". Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you target proactively then you may also empower virally. If you drive efficiently, you may have to empower interactively. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We will brand the standard industry term "distributed". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based data hygiene and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to deploy iteravely. Think C2B2B. The metrics for scalable, bleeding-edge accounting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think macro-ultra-world-class. Think transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the aptitude of all-hands meetings to utilize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be proactive? We realize that it is better to extend efficiently than to integrate virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think ubiquitous. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Without well-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become transparent. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed branding and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think six-sigma. The metrics for reconfigurable, 24/7 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our power to transform. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "solutions". Do you have a strategy to become interactive, B2B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We will envisioneer the aptitude of niches to orchestrate. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. We will exploit the capacity of angel investors to transition. Without well-chosen channels, infrastructures are forced to become wireless. The R&D factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? The power to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to e-enable proactively. Think front-end. Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.