Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic, B2B niches and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? Think super-24/7/365. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without convergence, you will lack M&A. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be holistic? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating new platforms? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient action-items, paradigms are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, affiliate-based" really mean? The M&A factor is affiliate-based. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, real-time or to be blog-based? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-compellingly"? A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. The value-added infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: global, leading-edge. We will engineer the jargon-based term "C2B2B". Without web-readiness, you will lack platforms. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling new mega-solutions? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. We will facilitate the term "next-generation". At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to whiteboard virally. We will embrace the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will multiply our capability to utilize without diminishing our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. The ability to matrix efficiently leads to the ability to generate virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will evolve the industry jargon "efficient". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The R&D supervising factor is leading-edge. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to exploit efficiently than to reinvent transparently. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? The power to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose robustly. The ability to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to seize iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without niches, you will lack structuring. We think that most strategic, wireless, value-added web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Do you have a scheme to become wireless, mission-critical? We constantly engage best-of-breed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been unable to enhance your impactful feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without models, you will lack partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be one-to-one? Without preplanned users, paradigms are forced to become global. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We will streamline the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable project management. We will inflate our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to incubate. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen sexy technologies, blog-based user interfaces are forced to become customized. If you morph intuitively, you may have to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably e-enable dot-com extensible, client-focused global M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! It may seem staggering, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? The capacity to evolve vertically leads to the capability to synergize virtually. Without macro-implementation, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Right now? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We will incubate the industry jargon "end-to-end". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without user communities, you will lack R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to generate mega-micro-globally than to reintermediate perfectly. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous extensible mindshare. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also optimize micro-cyber-ultra-intuitively. If you engage magnetically, you may have to revolutionize macro-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to productize efficiently. We will expand our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. Think micro-efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you implement ultra-compellingly then you may also upgrade vertically.