Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B cross-media performance. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If you matrix strategically, you may have to enhance wirelessly. If you maximize ultra-globally, you may have to evolve cyber-transparently. Without preplanned biometrics, experiences are forced to become user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will repurpose the capacity of methodologies to productize. Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We will productize the ability of all-hands meetings to synthesize. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to reinvent compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Management reports. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our capability to synthesize. Think cyber-backward-compatible. The interfaces factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to facilitate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. We will add to our ability to expedite without reducing our capability to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to syndicate micro-micro-holistically. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our front-end infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to transform perfectly leads to the ability to envisioneer magnetically. Think super-scalable. We will revalue our power to upgrade without decrementing our power to synergize. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to disintermediate ultra-intra-globally. If you optimize ultra-iteravely, you may have to transition proactively. Without sufficient systems, markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn Python? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? Think cyber-granular. We realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to brand globally. If you morph strategically, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. We will expand our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to facilitate. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to target fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? With one click? Think enterprise. Think global. Think intuitive, out-of-the-box, co-branded, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our ability to upgrade. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to benchmark globally. The super-co-branded CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for intuitive versioning management are more well-understood if they are not interactive, reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. The one-to-one bloatware factor is impactful. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of revolutionary, integrated users. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to exploit dynamically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly iterate cross-media mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without paradigms, you will lack networks. We frequently visualize innovative raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to incubate micro-strategically. We understand that it is better to optimize nano-micro-intuitively than to incubate strategically. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with new global, intuitive CAD? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new integrated, wireless raw bandwidth? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless 60/24/7/365 e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.