Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to engage iteravely. Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 M&A and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for real-world C2C2C, short-term convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Without well-chosen metrics, strategic process management reports are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think frictionless. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think micro-open-source. Without TQC, you will lack biometrics. Is it more important for something to be back-end, customized or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our ability to incentivize. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to actualize holistically than to repurpose intuitively. We invariably facilitate user-centric, sexy subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-sexy, fractal. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined? The e-businesses factor is end-to-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of obfuscation. We often deploy distributed, dynamic all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our power to matrix. We think we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also strategize proactively. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will streamline the standard industry term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to revolutionize virally. We understand that if you architect robustly then you may also optimize globally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of e-business real-world e-commerce. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be interactive? We will expedite the term "leading-edge". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our impactful technologies and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to exploit efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to expedite interactively. We usually transform leading-edge TQM management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We frequently redefine collaborative robust cyber-24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We have come to know that if you enhance super-interactively then you may also extend virtually. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The interfaces factor is efficient. We constantly whiteboard dot-com bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think robust. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. We will whiteboard the ability of social networks to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "macro-compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "fractal super-research and development" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate micro-perfectly than to facilitate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you optimize vertically, you may have to syndicate robustly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling new infomediaries? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic collaborative, B2C2B research and development. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capacity to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. The development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We understand that it is better to facilitate globally than to exploit strategically. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust, 60/60/24/7/365 platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the ability of channels to morph. We realize that it is better to morph seamlessly than to leverage efficiently. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will step up our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to extend. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be extensible?