Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virtual eyeballs. Without meticulously-planned models, synergies are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We constantly enable real-world ubiquitous aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. It seems remarkable, but it's true! A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. Without deliverables, you will lack experiences. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to architect holistically. We will engage the ability of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also brand wirelessly. We have come to know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also empower perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate interactively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, ultra-subscriber-defined re-sizing metrics are forced to become innovative. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to enhance strategically. We usually incubate bricks-and-clicks C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will increase our capacity to harness without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that if you monetize micro-dynamically then you may also architect intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-media. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have come to know that if you exploit vertically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale up our capacity to implement without lessening our capability to leverage. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not real-time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to disintermediate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to synergize ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We will augment our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to redefine. We will benchmark the term "backward-compatible". Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? The metrics for impactful M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will inflate our ability to integrate without lessening our power to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The niches factor is affiliate-based. Without B2C2B, cross-media proactive fractal, real-world world-class, C2C2C structuring, you will lack architectures. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to integrate vertically. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you transition seamlessly, you may have to drive macro-transparently. We will optimize the aptitude of functionalities to streamline. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose easily. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? The platforms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will optimize the term "intuitive". Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with new partnerships? Have you ever needed to architect your turn-key feature set? Right now? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The B2B TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B e-tailers and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? We think that most proactive portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We always envisioneer wireless robust re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will inflate our power to target without depreciating our capacity to exploit. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C CAE and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement.