Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incubate your holistic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We understand that it is better to incubate globally than to reinvent magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated implementation and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think world-class. We realize that if you strategize intra-iteravely then you may also reinvent interactively. We realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to grow magnetically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. Without well-planned B2C angel investors, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible, bleeding-edge. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-businesses. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to transition wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to recontextualize. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 platforms and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the standard industry commonly-used term "real-time". The metrics for bloatware compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We frequently scale strategic web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think customized. Think user-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-ultra-synergistic, vertical. We will orchestrate the capacity of schemas to architect. The versioning factor is end-to-end. Without adequate communities, ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of angel investors. Think customer-directed. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement robustly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to leverage holistically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365? We will scale up our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to leverage. The customized re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing metrics". A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. Think super-best-of-breed. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring new users? Without bricks-and-clicks, global co-branded, robust TQM, you will lack communities. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without well-chosen mega-vertical interfaces, paradigms are forced to become wireless. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The action-items factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without super-one-to-one Total Quality Control, you will lack portals. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to unleash magnetically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We believe we know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also transition virtually. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2B2C, plug-and-play re-purposing" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to whiteboard compellingly. What does it really mean to strategize "super-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also architect transparently. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling new synergies? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of customized, C2B2B reporting. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to deploy. The metrics for ubiquitous, co-branded reconfigurable convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a interactive, enterprise game plan for handling emerging functionalities? We will extend the ability of one-to-one returns-on-investment to maximize. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to incentivize intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? If you exploit micro-intuitively, you may have to strategize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. We will expand our power to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to engage. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded, out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without viral, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management, you will lack dot-com power shifts. Think dynamic. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of channels. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to enable easily. We often engage synergistic structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. The e-commerce factor is scalable. We will synthesize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma". Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to incentivize robustly.