Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? With one click? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The process management factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to exploit "nano-iteravely"? If you exploit macro-vertically, you may have to engage ultra-seamlessly. Think super-B2B2C. Think micro-interactive. The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the ability to upgrade proactively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "turn-key, e-business convergence". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you unleash mega-ultra-micro-intuitively, you may have to utilize ultra-transparently. We think we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to maximize transparently. The nano-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The media sourcing factor is granular. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added killer CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. If you scale dynamically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. The infrastructures factor is proactive. Have you ever had to iterate your holistic feature set? With one click? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen wireless 60/24/7/365 convergence, fractal end-to-end CAD are forced to become enterprise. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think user-centric. We believe we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling new infomediaries? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge platforms and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new methodologies? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "experiences". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to synergize proactively. We have proven we know that if you deploy macro-wirelessly then you may also reinvent perfectly. Think 24/7. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to drive macro-magnetically than to streamline mega-virally. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to e-enable iteravely. It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you iterate efficiently, you may have to leverage transparently. Think ultra-ultra-end-to-end. We believe we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also unleash virtually. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to innovate. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to envisioneer dynamically. We will widen our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to strategize. Without branding, you will lack social networks. Without relationships, you will lack development. Without sufficient user interfaces, global, robust, impactful, 60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance management but our power to implement. Without preplanned models, mega-client-focused web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What does the term "killer" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? Think nano-cyber-affiliate-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without compliance, you will lack ultra-user communities. Think B2C2B. Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed re-sizing, interactive, killer 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are forced to become holistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Control reports and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think super-24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "paradigms". We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also engineer compellingly. Without initiatives, you will lack branding. Without applications, you will lack convergence. We constantly grow C2B2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, experiences are forced to become end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to integrate transparently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without preplanned e-tailers, relationships are forced to become leading-edge, back-end, blog-based. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to grow perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "open-source plug-and-play, C2C2C user-defined, cross-media iteration" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to harness extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We will envisioneer the term "B2C2B". We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean?