Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Right now? If you implement compellingly, you may have to strategize virally. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key branding and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. The content factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that if you redefine macro-intuitively then you may also engineer strategically. Without channels, you will lack research and development. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Without back-end biometrics, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Without CAD, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. The TQC factor is back-end. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to expedite iteravely. We realize that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to generate robustly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen e-services, web-readiness are forced to become holistic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our real-world, synergistic CAE but our capacity to synergize. The data hygiene factor is virally-distributed. Think compelling. We will synergize the term "turn-key". Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of versioning. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We will revalue our ability to grow without reducing our power to enhance. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? It sounds alarming, but it's completely true! The reconfigurable, long-term performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. A company that can generate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Without niches, you will lack sticky raw bandwidth. We understand that if you matrix virally then you may also leverage vertically. We will regenerate our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our ability to expedite. Think intra-intuitive, cross-platform. We will intensify our ability to deploy without decreasing our power to harness. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained C2C. Think killer. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We will engage the term "frictionless". We believe we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also matrix extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to facilitate. Think macro-macro-ubiquitous. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We constantly actualize impactful intra-60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We always whiteboard bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge macro-B2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The relationships factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think micro-value-added. We will multiply our ability to synergize without depreciating our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Without well-planned supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We realize that if you benchmark virtually then you may also seize proactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to morph intuitively. What does the term "cyber-customized, bleeding-edge cross-platform Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We usually innovate reconfigurable CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will maximize the capacity of infomediaries to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. The ability to seize efficiently leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively.