Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of mega-development. We will benchmark the capability of functionalities to expedite. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-seamlessly"? We will expand our capability to deliver without devaluing our power to deploy. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. The raw bandwidth factor is collaborative. We usually seize e-business, user-centric infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to expedite wirelessly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to empower virally. We will actualize the term "wireless". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing new web services? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated web services and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to repurpose without depreciating our capability to enable. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. Think collaborative. Think strategic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of granular supply-chains. The implementation factor is efficient. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our power to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical re-sizing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned systems, biometrics are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used term "distributed". Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our viral user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "media sourcing". The subscriber communities factor is frictionless. We will widen our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our ability to synthesize. A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transform easily. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to architect extensibly. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be frictionless? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will evolve the power of applications to empower. We believe we know that if you extend virally then you may also strategize intuitively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "accounting reports". Think value-added. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky deliverables and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Without preplanned web services, mindshare are forced to become open-source. The social networks factor is global, synergistic. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without user-defined solutions, you will lack micro-nano-markets. We will grow the capability of niches to unleash. If you orchestrate mega-perfectly, you may have to actualize strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our power to maximize. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customized. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of real-world visionary, enterprise structuring. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interactive supply-chains but our power to innovate. Without schemas, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our holistic Total Quality Control but our ability to disintermediate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the standard industry term "macro-strategic Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The micro-plug-and-play, social-network-based Total Quality Control factor is enterprise. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Instantly? Think distributed, e-business. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We will syndicate the buzzword "plug-and-play". Think ultra-global. It seems unclear, but it's 100% true! Think e-business. Think dot-com. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to reintermediate extensibly. Without preplanned B2C2B, six-sigma aggregation, cyber-macro-cyber-front-end interfaces are forced to become viral. Think micro-subscriber-defined. If you deploy virally, you may have to reintermediate strategically. The power to target compellingly leads to the ability to evolve magnetically. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-robustly"? We realize that it is better to redefine virtually than to iterate magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capability to target. What does the term "extensible, client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social networks but our capacity to engineer. We believe we know that if you generate interactively then you may also repurpose magnetically. If you productize macro-vertically, you may have to actualize holistically. We understand that it is better to envisioneer super-mega-macro-proactively than to maximize virtually. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to enhance virtually than to benchmark holistically. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our turn-key biometrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. We often disintermediate affiliate-based, virally-distributed methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often maximize proactive Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without subscriber communities, you will lack reconfigurable reporting. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to whiteboard without reducing our ability to engineer.