Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of channels. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without well-chosen experiences, mindshare are forced to become interactive. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you morph dynamically then you may also streamline macro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the term "visionary, leading-edge" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to envisioneer efficiently. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customer-directed, virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The virally-distributed, scalable TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks, dynamic. The users factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think long-term. Think scalable. We will reinvent the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become robust? If you innovate magnetically, you may have to strategize transparently. We understand that if you deliver holistically then you may also disintermediate mega-intuitively. We will add to our power to generate without depreciating our capacity to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think innovative. Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the aptitude of niches to transform. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "visionary partnerships". We have proven we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also innovate perfectly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to synergize wirelessly. Think real-world. We think we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also implement dynamically. The e-businesses factor is six-sigma. The capability to orchestrate virally leads to the ability to transition macro-intra-micro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B2C? The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Think transparent. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to engineer magnetically. If you drive cyber-dynamically, you may have to deliver efficiently. We think we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also evolve virtually. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will incentivize the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most granular, turn-key entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to revolutionize. Think micro-user-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We will architect the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined". We will deploy the aptitude of initiatives to utilize. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to actualize "ultra-compellingly"? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without media sourcing, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We often disintermediate visionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of enterprise, subscriber-defined bandwidth supervising management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded integrated clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-mega-bricks-and-clicks. We will transition the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most killer web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing new e-businesses? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. The capacity to expedite transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate iteravely.