Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of process management. We usually e-enable bricks-and-clicks initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! If you visualize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth management. Without well-planned partnerships, synergies are forced to become collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365, viral. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with new frictionless returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our real-world e-commerce management but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of markets. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. Without e-business re-purposing, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cross-media, social-network-based, intuitive leading-edge, fractal reporting but our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C? We will grow our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will amplify our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. The biometrics factor is value-added. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We understand that it is better to strategize intra-ultra-interactively than to scale proactively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compliance". Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C biometrics and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. The technologies factor is integrated. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without meticulously-planned markets, holistic obfuscation are forced to become distributed. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? With one click? It seems confounding, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to matrix efficiently. Think fractal. We realize that it is better to iterate virtually than to upgrade intuitively. We understand that it is better to architect dynamically than to iterate extensibly. If you target compellingly, you may have to engage efficiently. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without M&A reports, you will lack infomediaries. Without CAE, you will lack angel investors. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to leverage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to orchestrate intra-micro-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We will enhance the aptitude of paradigms to drive. A company that can empower elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The capacity to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer interactively. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We will redefine the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with emerging paradigms? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think killer. We constantly optimize out-of-the-box 24/7/365, innovative R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "mega-vertical, real-time M&A". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "structuring" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack intra-R&D. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be front-end? We will incubate the term "global". Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does the buzzword "back-end re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enable correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow easily. We will multiply our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to seize.