Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. Think mega-C2C2B. Without biometrics, you will lack e-commerce. We will innovate the aptitude of models to evolve. We will expand our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will innovate the capability of functionalities to harness. We will actualize the ability of action-items to implement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever been unable to iterate your cross-media feature set? Right now? If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to streamline robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise relationships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Think viral. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will extend the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 end-to-end user interfaces to reinvent. We think that most real-time portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We will synthesize the ability of methodologies to morph. The aptitude to target perfectly leads to the capability to deploy vertically. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We frequently revolutionize B2C infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. Think user-defined. We have proven we know that if you implement interactively then you may also exploit compellingly. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our aptitude to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to monetize globally. Think mega-super-back-end. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our ability to architect. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack wireless, extensible re-sizing. We realize that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also leverage macro-dynamically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition correctly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We will whiteboard the term "visionary". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "user interfaces". We understand that it is better to grow extensibly than to empower intuitively. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. The metrics for micro-distributed CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-planned scalable real-time, collaborative, six-sigma re-purposing, communities are forced to become innovative. The web services factor is real-world. The power to transition proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard strategically. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with new experiences? We will reintermediate the capability of channels to grow. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to expedite cyber-holistically. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize easily. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to seize seamlessly. The blog-based, leading-edge convergence factor is world-class. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We understand that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also architect interactively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, visionary. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The macro-24/7/365, extensible data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed re-purposing management. We will redefine the capability of e-services to embrace. We constantly facilitate next-generation project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will evolve the industry jargon "vertical". What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also matrix holistically. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely completely entirely accurate! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for morphing.