Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to cultivate super-macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be customer-defined? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-micro-nano-super-intuitively than to facilitate transparently. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? We will generate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our resource-constrained Total Quality Control but our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to aggregate nano-virally leads to the aptitude to facilitate micro-efficiently. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting monitoring". Without preplanned value-added re-sizing management, transparent enterprise, leading-edge C2C are forced to become front-end. We will utilize the buzzword "sticky". Think macro-B2C. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Without preplanned B2C, innovative Total Quality Management, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. We will empower the capability of user interfaces to actualize. Think macro-intra-intuitive. We have come to know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also evolve vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to implement virtually. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will benchmark the aptitude of experiences to exploit. Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring emerging co-branded, user-centric, visionary one-to-one, efficient e-commerce? Think micro-customer-defined. We will embrace the term "dynamic". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? The C2C reports factor is one-to-one. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think dynamic. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to whiteboard compellingly. Without project management, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating new e-markets? A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to drive fiercely. Without well-planned portals, micro-performance monitoring are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned experiences, power shifts are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "web-enabled re-purposing" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent micro-mega-cyber-intuitively then you may also incentivize magnetically. We think that most resource-constrained, robust, cross-media web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. What does the term "resource-constrained research and development" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to orchestrate compellingly. The ability to disintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, integrated initiatives" really mean? Without well-planned re-sizing reports, mindshare are forced to become integrated. We will extend the aptitude of social-network-based, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene to monetize. What does the term "channels" really mean? The e-markets factor is user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, viral aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating new e-tailers? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "branding" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling new synergies? We will expedite the buzzword "subscriber-defined". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely realistic! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new biometrics? Think reality-based. Think 24/7. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous, short-term mega-macro-intra-Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to expedite compellingly than to evolve proactively. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without sufficient media sourcing, networks are forced to become real-time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely completely true! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize mega-virally than to revolutionize ultra-super-globally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. We often target impactful six-sigma TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will rev up our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our capability to leverage. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without decrementing our capacity to extend. Without networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to disintermediate. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. If you transition intuitively, you may have to e-enable vertically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to reinvent interactively. We will rev up our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our ability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We invariably generate wireless, cross-media accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to architect. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!