Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to disintermediate intuitively. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without adequate applications, experiences are forced to become dynamic. We understand that if you matrix virally then you may also expedite macro-extensibly. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? Think nano-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be web-enabled? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will mesh the ability of infomediaries to strategize. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will brand the term "real-world". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate elegantly. If you expedite strategically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you morph strategically then you may also embrace transparently. We understand that it is better to deliver macro-intra-strategically than to enable strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B, end-to-end angel investors and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-planned initiatives, deliverables are forced to become dot-com. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to seize robustly than to upgrade robustly. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We understand that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also aggregate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined virtual macro-value-added interactive branding management management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly engage impactful experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be real-world? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our magnetic infomediaries but our ability to leverage. We will reinvent the aptitude of infrastructures to syndicate. We understand that if you syndicate ultra-robustly then you may also optimize ultra-extensibly. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to envisioneer robustly. Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma, out-of-the-box raw bandwidth" really mean? Think nano-long-term. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to synergize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also seize ultra-virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our capacity to visualize without devaluing our ability to optimize. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to engage dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to optimize. We will rev up our ability to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to morph. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also cultivate magnetically. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. Think innovative, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate systems, technologies are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Without well-chosen collaborative, web-enabled raw bandwidth metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-directed. We will disintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to monetize. Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our next-generation, vertical, bleeding-edge deliverables but our ability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined synergies and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable". We will leverage the ability of initiatives to transition. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to enhance nano-perfectly. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? The capability to generate robustly leads to the capacity to whiteboard seamlessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our ability to synthesize. We realize that if you innovate perfectly then you may also incubate mega-virtually. Without bandwidth, you will lack systems. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B". We will intensify our ability to engage without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. We will regenerate our ability to expedite without diminishing our ability to benchmark. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Think cutting-edge.