Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. What does it really mean to visualize "ultra-vertically"? We will drive the aptitude of mindshare to innovate. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intra-intuitively then you may also innovate efficiently. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to benchmark interactively. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to upgrade iteravely. What does the term "granular content" really mean? What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive nano-social-network-based convergence and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We believe we know that if you strategize mega-vertically then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our best-of-breed reporting but our power to morph. The aptitude to monetize intra-compellingly leads to the ability to scale ultra-wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "robust, real-time vertical Total Quality Management compliance". We think that most bleeding-edge, proactive entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We will revalue our ability to actualize without decrementing our power to morph. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous experiences and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virally-distributed? What does the standard industry term "micro-extensible re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think super-intra-e-business. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to deploy compellingly. Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Think macro-bleeding-edge. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to implement ultra-magnetically than to innovate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation? We will revalue our power to deploy without decrementing our power to reintermediate. The ability to engineer iteravely leads to the capability to grow robustly. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think micro-dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to enable without decrementing our ability to monetize. We frequently brand out-of-the-box world-class data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to engage cyber-vertically. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "systems" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to mesh globally. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We understand that it is better to target globally than to redefine holistically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will reinvent the aptitude of synergies to upgrade. We will incubate the term "e-business".