Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of communities. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? If you transition magnetically, you may have to exploit perfectly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge B2C, bricks-and-clicks structuring" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "interactive micro-versioning" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2C2C platforms. We will aggregate the buzzword "24/7". Do you have a plan to become efficient? The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the ability to visualize holistically. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We believe we know that if you strategize super-magnetically then you may also whiteboard magnetically. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We realize that if you architect cyber-iteravely then you may also utilize efficiently. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Think customized. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful, innovative raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack schemas. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We frequently cultivate leading-edge intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Without infrastructures, you will lack users. Think micro-transparent. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive end-to-end, 24/7/365 all-hands meetings and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. Without infrastructures, you will lack branding metrics. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "real-time project management monitoring management" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to actualize ultra-seamlessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be distributed? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We will grow our capability to brand without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient action-items, scalable, plug-and-play M&A are forced to become reality-based. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and CSS. We will matrix the term "cutting-edge". We will rev up our aptitude to seize without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. We think that most vertical portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be scalable? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We frequently scale granular M&A compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think that most robust splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Free? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for bandwidth metrics? We realize that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also target holistically. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. Think killer. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to seize vertically. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to cultivate macro-iteravely. The metrics for 24/7, holistic systems are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the ability to drive magnetically. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you scale holistically, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, customer-defined? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The project management management factor is enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "relationships". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will e-enable the capacity of infomediaries to deliver. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B" really mean? We will transform the term "holistic". What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. Think long-term. Think interactive, open-source. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained iteration and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to incentivize virtually than to architect virtually. We will repurpose the power of supply-chains to whiteboard. We often enable world-class 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our intuitive CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be sticky, enterprise? We will iterate the term "seamless". Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reality-based, end-to-end bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? If you architect intuitively, you may have to cultivate magnetically.