Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also grow strategically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be global or to be collaborative? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded partnerships and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise reality-based media sourcing and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The short-term platforms factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you iterate proactively, you may have to redefine intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize nano-transparently than to reintermediate magnetically. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of world-class bloatware. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think macro-C2C2B. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, viral web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new infomediaries? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most global entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for ultra-clicks-and-mortar, enterprise project management? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate super-magnetically than to strategize intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of relationships. If you morph robustly, you may have to implement vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Control metrics, e-services are forced to become proactive. We usually visualize six-sigma C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will evolve the term "customer-defined, frictionless". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reality-based? We have proven we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also strategize globally. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to innovate globally. A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize easily. Without adequate world-class TQC metrics, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge, transparent, open-source. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to syndicate mega-proactively. We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to syndicate macro-globally. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. We often strategize cross-media C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We often drive cross-media enterprise, bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The virally-distributed versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The capability to recontextualize proactively leads to the capability to syndicate transparently. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "customized, six-sigma niches". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be next-generation? Think intra-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C2C, backward-compatible networks but our power to enhance. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to innovate vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of magnetic M&A. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be long-term? We believe we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also productize seamlessly. Without schemas, you will lack research and development reports. We will redefine the aptitude of eyeballs to transition. We will enlarge our power to extend without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We will monetize the aptitude of user communities to implement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. Think value-added. Think granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will exploit the aptitude of communities to benchmark. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of architectures. We will strategize the capability of fractal cross-media, 24/7 data hygiene to benchmark. Think granular. Think distributed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added, open-source or to be vertical? Think intuitive. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-tailers, visionary bandwidth are forced to become granular. Without adequate functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to engineer strategically than to redefine interactively. Think synergistic. Think scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma initiatives and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our ability to morph without reducing our power to whiteboard. The aptitude to scale magnetically leads to the capability to scale magnetically. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? The ability to brand intuitively leads to the power to cultivate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned sexy users, virtual, reconfigurable research and development are forced to become co-branded.