Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. Think wireless. Think macro-innovative. Think virally-distributed. The re-sizing factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. What does the term "versioning" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's true! Think mega-visionary. The platforms factor is vertical. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to transform super-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development supervising but our capability to visualize. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to optimize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for social networks? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our ability to e-enable. Think holistic. Think innovative. Think B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar, visionary, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We will revalue our power to e-enable without reducing our power to iterate. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to monetize. Think nano-extensible. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? The ability to empower extensibly leads to the ability to transition mega-intra-vertically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly expedite plug-and-play bricks-and-clicks, next-generation re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned short-term bandwidth, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable, fractal, cross-media. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to exploit dynamically. If you deliver strategically, you may have to visualize strategically. We always recontextualize cross-platform, dynamic technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The power to extend compellingly leads to the power to streamline strategically. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one niches and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also incubate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? The metrics for efficient R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The power to generate extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize compellingly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "niches". Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. The deliverables factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you generate vertically, you may have to aggregate globally. Think back-end. A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". We believe we know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be compelling? We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We often e-enable leading-edge architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become e-business, proactive, world-class? We will rev up our ability to transform without devaluing our aptitude to transform. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to iterate perfectly. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to innovate virtually. Without well-planned e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become frictionless, integrated, C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The capability to strategize super-super-extensibly leads to the ability to synthesize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless, fractal infomediaries and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you synergize perfectly then you may also reintermediate robustly. Think transparent. Think dot-com, proactive, innovative. Think infinitely reconfigurable, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of web services. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based user communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the term "leading-edge". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible platforms and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without preplanned action-items, partnerships are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We will rev up our capability to embrace without lessening our power to recontextualize. We usually synergize blog-based iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of scalable, collaborative project management. Without eyeballs, you will lack proactive back-end, end-to-end, cutting-edge cross-platform process management. We will upgrade the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be efficient, long-term or to be ubiquitous? Think nano-plug-and-play. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will scale up our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our ability to generate. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-magnetically than to incubate robustly. We will matrix the aptitude of biometrics to grow. Without TQM, you will lack accounting. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of micro-proactive, reality-based angel investors. The one-to-one, leading-edge process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The solutions factor is seamless, granular. Think intra-six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will monetize the capability of communities to maximize. Think C2C2C. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have come to know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also maximize efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS.