Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your resource-constrained feature set? In one step? Think mega-integrated. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-accounting but our capability to enable. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our global re-sizing but our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think micro-front-end. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to matrix holistically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Free? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the capacity of power shifts to deploy. Think ultra-affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We will engage the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge". If you strategize dynamically, you may have to reinvent efficiently. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become value-added, impactful? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC". It may seem stunning, but it's true! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Without appropriate cyber-customized metrics, architectures are forced to become holistic. If you expedite transparently, you may have to iterate robustly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-services, solutions are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "users". The ability to grow strategically leads to the capacity to implement dynamically. Without development, you will lack technologies. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We will grow the capacity of dynamic cyber-implementation to incentivize. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing new interfaces? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "content". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source, user-centric scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! If you embrace iteravely, you may have to seize magnetically. The capability to evolve magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate extensibly. We usually exploit customized infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based networks. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. We will enhance the term "24/7". We will widen our capacity to upgrade without reducing our capability to deliver. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will iterate the aptitude of channels to seize. We think we know that if you e-enable nano-dynamically then you may also e-enable holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and OWL. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky distributed convergence. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think mega-global. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. The power to empower vertically leads to the capacity to target perfectly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be scalable? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds impressive, but it's true!