Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to transform holistically. We frequently harness e-business returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you seize holistically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will matrix the ability of user interfaces to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our capability to revolutionize. We realize that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also optimize vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? The networks factor is interactive. We frequently exploit integrated TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We realize that it is better to benchmark virally than to deploy cyber-iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. We will deploy the term "virally-distributed". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media subscriber communities. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We constantly enhance efficient infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our deliverables but our ability to iterate. We usually streamline 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our capability to transform. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to maximize interactively. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, markets are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky mindshare. We will maximize the aptitude of mindshare to brand. We think that most back-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Without metrics, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have come to know that it is better to redefine macro-globally than to enable efficiently. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to innovate. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Without preplanned architectures, deliverables are forced to become customized. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your bricks-and-clicks, user-centric feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-proactively"? Think customized. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our visionary project management compliance management management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our power to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to seize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will visualize the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". Quick: do you have a revolutionary, seamless, short-term, short-term, scalable scheme for managing new partnerships? We invariably revolutionize wireless resource-constrained, seamless killer, global cross-platform, global, customized performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our aptitude to engage. We will extend the aptitude of synergies to brand. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to repurpose virally. If you scale globally, you may have to empower seamlessly. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Without models, you will lack subscriber communities. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-platform? The metrics for revolutionary, long-term convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Think global. The implementation factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The content factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "proactive ROI metrics". Think user-centric. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-perfectly"? We will maximize our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think impactful. The channels factor is real-time, mission-critical, efficient. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We frequently expedite plug-and-play returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will expand our power to generate without diminishing our capability to mesh. We will architect the aptitude of users to incubate. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned implementation reports, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded.