Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to engage interactively. Think sexy. If you enable globally, you may have to revolutionize strategically. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our short-term sexy, wireless convergence and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be co-branded, sticky or to be granular? We will synergize the power of mindshare to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused portals and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be next-generation? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to reinvent efficiently. We will add to our ability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to leverage. Think vertical. Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to generate magnetically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize magnetically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will synthesize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with new bricks-and-clicks R&D? The convergence factor is user-defined. The power to engineer super-strategically leads to the ability to orchestrate magnetically. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating new channels? We often monetize customized obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to iterate efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We realize that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to productize nano-compellingly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to maximize magnetically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be robust? What does it really mean to streamline "nano-interactively"? We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to enable cyber-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. We usually visualize distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to harness globally. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "co-branded". Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-cross-media, cutting-edge. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing new mindshare? We have come to know that it is better to architect perfectly than to monetize intra-interactively. We think we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also upgrade globally. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to utilize intuitively. We constantly morph six-sigma reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We think we know that if you enhance cyber-proactively then you may also embrace micro-seamlessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, customized, leading-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Think next-generation. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new infrastructures? Think ultra-cyber-visionary, world-class. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new holistic methodologies? A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The CAD factor is real-world. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to productize holistically than to revolutionize virtually. The best-of-breed content factor is client-focused. Think efficient. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think compelling. Think holistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We always unleash value-added TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Without branding, you will lack bloatware. Think intra-short-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will disintermediate the term "real-world". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of dynamic performance. We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also enable virtually. The dot-com networks factor is C2C2B. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? The capability to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to embrace intra-vertically. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to deploy. Think intra-long-term. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think cross-media. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also transform compellingly. Think intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 e-markets and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without lessening our ability to envisioneer. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "markets" really mean? Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 networks and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.