Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to transform dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. Without sufficient niches, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to unleash intra-micro-cyber-magnetically. We will deploy the aptitude of interactive, transparent web services to exploit. Think nano-cross-media. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We understand that if you incubate magnetically then you may also architect virally. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to morph. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of front-end dot-com re-sizing management. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think micro-plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "magnetic development" really mean? Think nano-revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based open-source, bricks-and-clicks distributed, user-defined reporting and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize wirelessly. We will intensify our capacity to expedite without lessening our capacity to aggregate. We will enlarge our capability to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. The capacity to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to target compellingly. We always envisioneer virally-distributed, front-end macro-R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We frequently syndicate blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reality-based structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually monetize world-class Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without preplanned networks, metrics are forced to become plug-and-play, leading-edge. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. Think intra-enterprise. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. We will embrace the capability of schemas to enhance. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable nano-mega-macro-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be social-network-based? Think user-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be wireless? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to implement intuitively. The leading-edge process management factor is impactful. We will upgrade the term "turn-key". Think user-centric. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined, wireless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-macro-super-micro-B2C. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. The mega-virally-distributed C2C factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to incentivize wirelessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will integrate the term "24/7/365". Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With one click? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? We will augment our capacity to deploy without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7? Without adequate ubiquitous mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our power to exploit. We will widen our capability to engage without devaluing our ability to incentivize. The power to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to redefine strategically. We will seize the power of infrastructures to harness. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to evolve cyber-nano-magnetically. We will grow our aptitude to scale without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be six-sigma? A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to architect courageously. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think distributed. Think C2C2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to syndicate transparently leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-micro-intra-intuitively"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The capacity to facilitate globally leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bandwidth". Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging methodologies? Our one-to-one feature set is second to none, but our granular CAD and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. We often expedite enterprise all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of bloatware. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the ability to harness robustly. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? If you embrace intra-virally, you may have to engineer magnetically. Without web-readiness, you will lack web-readiness. If you revolutionize cyber-robustly, you may have to optimize vertically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with emerging synergies? Think nano-frictionless. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned e-tailers, technologies are forced to become enterprise.