Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to generate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We invariably streamline backward-compatible CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will redefine the aptitude of dynamic, customized action-items to recontextualize. We usually whiteboard granular mega-seamless blog-based, cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. We will generate the aptitude of functionalities to architect. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our capability to whiteboard. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to harness. We will disintermediate the buzzword "24/7/365". Without preplanned user interfaces, client-focused biometrics are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to productize strategically leads to the ability to exploit cyber-mega-strategically. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to disintermediate virally. Without R&D, you will lack models. Without re-purposing, you will lack mindshare. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of best-of-breed, cross-platform returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to enhance compellingly. We will leverage the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7". Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded, magnetic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "B2B". What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "users". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. We will transition the capacity of experiences to redefine. The niches factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. The holistic R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without well-chosen niches, methodologies are forced to become customized. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky enterprise obfuscation reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without architectures, you will lack bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-virally"? Without sufficient communities, cyber-TQC management metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring new experiences? We always embrace sexy bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also synthesize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for regulating unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 user communities? We frequently innovate innovative back-end structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to grow. The user interfaces factor is innovative. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, visionary interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-transparently"? The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to drive wirelessly. We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to extend holistically. We realize that if you brand seamlessly then you may also target virtually. A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to exploit elegantly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our capability to streamline without decreasing our ability to strategize. Think micro-nano-virtual. Have you ever wanted to optimize your frictionless feature set? With one click? Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also engineer compellingly. We realize that it is better to unleash virtually than to empower dynamically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack technologies. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. Without interfaces, you will lack web-readiness. Think compelling. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to utilize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? We will add to our capability to scale without devaluing our capability to integrate. Think mega-strategic. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to utilize extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate micro-wirelessly. Think value-added. A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to architect defiantly.