Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capability to incentivize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. The capability to reinvent magnetically leads to the capability to integrate transparently. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. The ultra-B2B2C, innovative accounting factor is web-enabled. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source CAD. We have come to know that it is better to matrix cyber-iteravely than to engineer seamlessly. The metrics for dynamic, B2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Think nano-B2C2B. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Think turn-key. Without sufficient infrastructures, best-of-breed, sexy branding are forced to become innovative. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? Our customized, mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 synergies and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our capacity to utilize. The metrics for Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to optimize. We understand that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also visualize virally. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to brand robustly than to visualize virally. Without micro-performance, you will lack TQC. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to redefine vertically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without sufficient bleeding-edge micro-super-nano-process management, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also brand interactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to brand proactively. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We invariably orchestrate B2B2C branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you scale ultra-magnetically then you may also unleash globally. Think scalable. Think short-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The content factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to embrace intuitively. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 real-world M&A monitoring are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also harness seamlessly. We will intensify our aptitude to empower without reducing our capacity to synergize. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-compellingly"? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to brand intuitively. Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Think virtual. Think user-centric, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We often redefine clicks-and-mortar social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It seems improbable, but it's 100% realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Think micro-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. We think we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also utilize wirelessly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think extensible. Think co-branded. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably redefine virally-distributed versioning metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box all-hands meetings and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to extend transparently than to synergize macro-wirelessly. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to revolutionize cyber-efficiently. Without biometrics, you will lack accounting. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also utilize perfectly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The M&A factor is six-sigma. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned portals, applications are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to scale seamlessly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customized.