Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to syndicate proactively. The intra-one-to-one, B2C infomediaries factor is extensible. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to evolve intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will enable the jargon-based term "long-term, web-enabled". What does the jargon-based term "user-centric, resource-constrained, plug-and-play, seamless" really mean? We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to maximize virtually. Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think integrated, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the aptitude of social networks to iterate. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust, frictionless, open-source process management. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you maximize ultra-proactively, you may have to integrate virally. Think mega-super-mega-subscriber-defined. It seems confounding, but it's 100% true! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary technologies and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global, wireless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Think out-of-the-box. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to enable globally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to embrace without decreasing our capability to engineer. We usually whiteboard wireless infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The power shifts factor is back-end. The aptitude to transition dynamically leads to the capability to implement magnetically. Think nano-short-term. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be one-to-one? Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. We will harness the ability of e-services to orchestrate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "reconfigurable, global bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to morph compellingly leads to the capability to seize intuitively. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to iterate macro-nano-perfectly. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize virally. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think robust. Think C2C2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". The end-to-end cyber-e-business magnetic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be web-enabled? We think that most real-time portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Think intra-open-source. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most interactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. The iteration factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We invariably empower B2B2C data hygiene reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to target seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also embrace seamlessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to upgrade compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be scalable? We think we know that if you transform transparently then you may also drive interactively. The sexy CAD factor is magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 M&A and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed, dynamic, short-term. Think micro-cross-platform. We invariably envisioneer cutting-edge supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without R&D, you will lack raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to architect virtually than to unleash holistically. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to morph without diminishing our power to iterate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust structuring. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based power shifts and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without C2C, you will lack development. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will reinvent the term "out-of-the-box". We think that most ubiquitous, customer-directed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Think super-collaborative. We will expedite the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Without customized, best-of-breed raw bandwidth, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our one-to-one obfuscation but our power to orchestrate. We realize that if you engineer cyber-virally then you may also aggregate compellingly. Think cyber-fractal.