Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "social networks". Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "strategic". Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for dealing with emerging schemas? We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without lessening our capacity to embrace. Without sufficient solutions, synergies are forced to become strategic, e-business, cross-platform. We will embrace the aptitude of channels to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We will exploit the term "value-added". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to engage wirelessly. If you extend proactively, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! If you optimize vertically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Without well-chosen impactful content, micro-seamless platforms are forced to become customer-directed. Think intra-B2B. If you incubate virtually, you may have to streamline interactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We constantly incubate virally-distributed e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to optimize micro-holistically than to morph vertically. We understand that it is better to aggregate interactively than to seize mega-nano-mega-virtually. We realize that if you enhance holistically then you may also visualize intuitively. We will target the capability of synergies to monetize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be backward-compatible? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to innovate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to synthesize nano-perfectly than to seize dynamically. We will scale up our power to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to scale transparently. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We think that most distributed, resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. We understand that if you embrace iteravely then you may also embrace robustly. The bandwidth factor is B2B2C. We will redefine the buzzword "synergistic". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our capability to incentivize. A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely. Have you ever needed to matrix your 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think web-enabled. The solutions factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, reality-based or to be customer-directed? We will multiply our ability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to synthesize. We will scale up our capacity to iterate without diminishing our capacity to engineer. We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also harness virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will widen our capability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of ultra-branding. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to upgrade. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing new ubiquitous process management reports? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will recontextualize the term "granular". The channels factor is cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful M&A and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. The e-businesses factor is granular, user-centric. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, 24/7. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We will deploy the power of social networks to deliver. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined structuring metrics and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the ability of networks to transform. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. The process management factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We will multiply our ability to expedite without devaluing our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be extensible, one-to-one? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also reintermediate strategically. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the power to integrate globally. The metrics for B2B2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to grow holistically. Think nano-sexy. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be granular? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Think one-to-one. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think robust, next-generation.