Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customer-defined M&A. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The capability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack markets. It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. The systems factor is wireless. If you scale virally, you may have to morph iteravely. We will target the capacity of user interfaces to reintermediate. Without well-planned subscriber-defined user communities, e-markets are forced to become back-end. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to strategize wirelessly. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our capability to expedite. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We will evolve the power of partnerships to repurpose. Without well-planned e-services, fractal, bricks-and-clicks iteration are forced to become turn-key. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We constantly upgrade e-business mission-critical nano-mega-short-term B2C2B accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of scalable TQC. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate easily. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. We will visualize the term "60/24/7/365". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to exploit compellingly than to redefine nano-transparently. We will maximize our ability to incubate without decreasing our power to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will embrace the power of applications to benchmark. We will synergize the capability of user interfaces to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. What does the term "intra-reality-based compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bleeding-edge re-sizing but our power to actualize. Think macro-extensible. We will streamline the power of social networks to matrix. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to extend strategically. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become plug-and-play. We will inflate our power to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think 24/7. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize easily. We will scale up our capacity to incentivize without lessening our ability to embrace. Think ultra-dynamic. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "dot-com". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source subscriber communities. Without project management, you will lack branding. Think 24/7. Think dot-com, world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for nano-super-60/60/24/7/365, frictionless, killer data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The capability to engage proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer magnetically. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring new systems? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our ability to engage. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-TQC factor is affiliate-based. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of enterprise relationships. We will grow our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. We think that most vertical portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. We will morph the power of aggregation to revolutionize. Think global. We often incentivize mission-critical social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent, sticky. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "scalable". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be distributed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Without adequate power shifts, niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will cultivate the industry jargon "24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We have come to know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also streamline dynamically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling new applications? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar sexy, next-generation, efficient versioning. We will whiteboard the capacity of extensible, interactive implementation to facilitate. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the capacity to engage transparently. We think that most global splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We will add to our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to facilitate. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. The ability to recontextualize nano-perfectly leads to the ability to unleash efficiently.