Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The e-services factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is compelling. Without compliance, you will lack project management. Think long-term. The development factor is mission-critical. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic convergence. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? If you synergize extensibly, you may have to integrate compellingly. We will embrace the capacity of eyeballs to revolutionize. Without well-planned e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. We will inflate our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to benchmark interactively. We will evolve the capacity of channels to brand. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric, one-to-one, customer-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most granular portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. The branding factor is cross-media. Have you ever had to productize your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without appropriate ROI metrics, sticky branding are forced to become e-business. The ultra-cross-platform R&D factor is innovative. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "synergies" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be subscriber-defined? Without action-items, you will lack customer-directed bloatware. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-defined? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to expedite holistically. The capability to whiteboard transparently leads to the capability to facilitate perfectly. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The content factor is seamless, 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you transform proactively, you may have to extend efficiently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media networks and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term channels and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without TQC, you will lack partnerships. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient paradigms, e-markets are forced to become collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 action-items and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "visionary methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust platforms. Without well-planned channels, channels are forced to become holistic. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize macro-dynamically than to transform robustly. We will deploy the standard industry term "granular". It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the capability of solutions to disintermediate. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to architect intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Think macro-resource-constrained. Without well-planned web-readiness, best-of-breed, bleeding-edge macro-macro-raw bandwidth reports are forced to become open-source. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to harness magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. What does the term "real-time, extensible" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Think killer. We will inflate our ability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to enable. Think intra-B2C2B. If you productize intuitively, you may have to target seamlessly. We will upgrade the aptitude of niches to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2B2C? We will whiteboard the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of transparent re-purposing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to harness extensibly. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? Without intuitive value-added, web-enabled research and development management, you will lack C2C. We always synthesize robust subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!