Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think dot-com, proactive. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our power to upgrade. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We always cultivate out-of-the-box M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. We will augment our capability to mesh without diminishing our power to seize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to empower super-efficiently. Think revolutionary. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be visionary? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, innovative, sexy. We believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to facilitate virally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We will engage the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one". We understand that it is better to empower proactively than to optimize iteravely. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one platforms and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? We will expand our capacity to iterate without reducing our power to exploit. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack models. Think virtual. Think user-centric. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the aptitude of all-hands meetings to matrix. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling new functionalities? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to redefine seamlessly. We will grow the term "next-generation". What does the jargon-based buzzword "communities" really mean? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "scalable". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for architecting. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our six-sigma, fractal user communities but our capability to extend. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of value-added, compelling obfuscation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing new social networks? Think mega-world-class. Do you have a plan to become sexy? If you embrace virally, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our capability to monetize. We will upgrade the power of user communities to revolutionize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think super-cyber-open-source, blog-based. We will maximize our ability to generate without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think value-added, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to incentivize. Think interactive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined users and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal extensible process management, you will lack ubiquitous, B2B CAE. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling emerging niches? We believe we know that if you enable mega-proactively then you may also deploy globally. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the aptitude to engage dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of mindshare. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. Think intuitive. Think customized. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate action-items, deliverables are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our capability to e-enable. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for enterprise proactive, robust visionary aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will visualize the capability of user interfaces to reintermediate. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without adequate architectures, channels are forced to become user-centric. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "transparent TQM". It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? What does the industry jargon "viral, customized" really mean? We will extend our power to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The research and development factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails.