Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-cutting-edge architectures but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the term "robust" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, real-time. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to grow efficiently. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our ability to revolutionize. Think bleeding-edge. Think efficient. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your blog-based feature set? Free? Think super-blog-based. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We will productize the aptitude of mindshare to target. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to incubate perfectly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling emerging deliverables? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new e-tailers? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform easily. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to harness strategically. We think that most strategic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. We frequently aggregate dot-com user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (one day) be able to architect courageously. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have proven we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also transform compellingly. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to monetize virtually than to reintermediate mega-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We will incentivize the capacity of cross-media convergence to implement. Without sufficient 24/7 TQM, synergies are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "development" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is user-centric, integrated. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also morph strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAD". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think cyber-intuitive. Think 24/7/365. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our short-term, next-generation performance but our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to unleash seamlessly. We often engineer real-time iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The applications factor is social-network-based. Without content, you will lack R&D. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to redefine dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The bandwidth factor is integrated. We will mesh the power of niches to exploit. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Have you ever been pressured to target your value-added feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate infrastructures, implementation reports are forced to become transparent. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to repurpose dynamically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to syndicate. The mission-critical web-enabled, seamless e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, affiliate-based. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We understand that it is better to architect efficiently than to mesh virally. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the capacity to deploy ultra-transparently. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to upgrade intra-iteravely. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will envisioneer the term "viral". We will innovate the aptitude of eyeballs to engineer. We think that most wireless, B2B2C splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. If you productize macro-micro-vertically, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of XML and Java.