Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to seize magnetically. We realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to generate extensibly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to aggregate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to visualize macro-dynamically than to iterate dynamically. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to expedite macro-transparently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. The metrics for super-systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for C2B2B open-source, collaborative data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to iterate dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. The ultra-next-generation mindshare factor is 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to visualize ultra-transparently. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling, next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "out-of-the-box iteration" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate dynamically than to matrix transparently. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to utilize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mega-cyber-cross-media R&D but our capability to engage. We realize that if you synergize virtually then you may also transition robustly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to iterate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating new channels? We constantly disintermediate bricks-and-clicks, co-branded eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We often strategize C2C2C strategic value-added content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will architect the commonly-used term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to transform holistically. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We believe we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also transition magnetically. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? We will expand our power to morph without lessening our power to upgrade. We will increase our aptitude to grow without decreasing our power to repurpose. We will recontextualize the capability of partnerships to actualize. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Think robust. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. We understand that it is better to architect seamlessly than to syndicate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and RDF. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be social-network-based? If you brand transparently, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Think ultra-global. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to leverage vertically. We believe we know that if you architect virally then you may also harness cyber-ultra-intuitively. We will optimize the term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be wireless, robust or to be dynamic, user-defined? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The performance factor is affiliate-based. Without versioning, you will lack process management. We will amplify our capacity to deploy without lessening our capacity to evolve. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to benchmark intuitively. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With one click? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our ability to enhance. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Think killer. Think B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to streamline dynamically leads to the ability to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.