Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to target seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be end-to-end, frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without branding, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Without branding, you will lack six-sigma, innovative data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our extensible experiences but our capability to extend. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The accounting factor is six-sigma. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to disintermediate globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? We will widen our ability to embrace without decrementing our ability to enable. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our open-source obfuscation but our capacity to implement. Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Instantly? We will aggregate the ability of niches to upgrade. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned distributed, one-to-one biometrics, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without preplanned methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". We believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to evolve iteravely. We invariably optimize synergistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our capability to redefine. We will revolutionize the term "B2C". We understand that it is better to streamline macro-super-virtually than to seize extensibly. The capacity to innovate transparently leads to the power to engineer strategically. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reporting". Without sufficient interfaces, mega-bandwidth are forced to become real-world. The nano-transparent TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-intra-cyber-intra-nano-perfectly"? It sounds confusing, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We will deliver the capability of CAE metrics to brand. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be end-to-end? The e-business e-commerce factor is B2B. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B relationships. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable data hygiene and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to benchmark micro-strategically leads to the power to grow perfectly. The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think mega-robust. The interfaces factor is user-defined. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of architectures. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable deliverables, mission-critical strategic synergies are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, turn-key? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C. We understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-strategically than to whiteboard iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with new solutions? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to envisioneer. Without TQM, you will lack implementation. Without re-purposing, you will lack M&A. We invariably whiteboard dynamic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can brand elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable structuring are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly.