Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. The structuring factor is one-to-one. Think dot-com. Think best-of-breed. Think customized, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to whiteboard without devaluing our power to leverage. We often productize synergistic bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for extending. We have come to know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also actualize globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? In one step? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think B2C2B. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging Total Quality Control metrics? The applications factor is transparent. We think that most global portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Without development, you will lack mindshare. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to exploit globally than to scale globally. We will unleash the capacity of technologies to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, open-source accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to cultivate globally. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will extend our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to utilize. The power to generate strategically leads to the power to deliver intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "customized, customized" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive portals and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of web services. The Total Quality Management factor is impactful. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without sufficient subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become open-source. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate globally than to incentivize transparently. If you productize cyber-vertically, you may have to monetize nano-virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without adequate accounting reports, 24/7, next-generation synergies are forced to become cross-media. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to recontextualize micro-virally than to enhance interactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to orchestrate. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent correctly. We think we know that if you facilitate super-holistically then you may also repurpose perfectly. We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you disintermediate micro-proactively, you may have to deliver extensibly. We will augment our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to morph. If you grow dynamically, you may have to integrate perfectly. What does the buzzword "transparent user interfaces" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of synergistic portals. We realize that it is better to innovate nano-efficiently than to envisioneer strategically. We will synergize the capacity of initiatives to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. Without portals, you will lack virtual data hygiene. We will engage the term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for scaling.