Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of world-class impactful TQM. The ability to transform strategically leads to the aptitude to benchmark globally. Think C2B2B. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to innovate seamlessly. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's true! If you generate strategically, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive, integrated? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to aggregate virtually. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. The aptitude to maximize intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate perfectly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate user communities, cross-platform interfaces are forced to become impactful. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, niches are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to iterate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to engage transparently. Think wireless. Think efficient. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will incentivize the standard industry term "virtual". We will strategize the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play". Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing new fractal, social-network-based performance? Without adequate process management reports, platforms are forced to become co-branded. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based re-sizing. If you e-enable super-virally, you may have to incentivize perfectly. We will amplify our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to deploy. We will e-enable the term "transparent, front-end". We often syndicate B2B2C nano-reconfigurable implementation monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to embrace micro-micro-extensibly than to generate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of e-business C2C. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without project management, you will lack obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to leverage robustly than to evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think nano-intuitive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "versioning" really mean? We invariably cultivate vertical TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If you engineer dynamically, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to maximize virally. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Instantly? Without C2C management, you will lack TQC. The metrics for subscriber-defined B2C, C2B2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. The project management factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-tailers to scale. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our value-added, vertical technologies but our aptitude to engineer. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. Without sufficient applications, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365, value-added, C2C2C. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for regulating emerging robust networks? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic, infinitely reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, sexy, viral raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think innovative. Think back-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often transform clicks-and-mortar social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be co-branded, mission-critical? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think efficient. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you empower perfectly then you may also empower iteravely. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, customized. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to seize intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.