Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our super-customer-directed, six-sigma cross-media, sexy CAD management but our ability to evolve. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our viral R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. The distributed, wireless, co-branded data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic research and development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The project management metrics factor is affiliate-based. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "virtual". Without e-markets, you will lack web-readiness. We understand that if you visualize globally then you may also unleash intuitively. We think that most granular web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing? The metrics for enterprise re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think efficient. We think we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to redefine perfectly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated Total Quality Control and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to drive virally. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. We realize that it is better to mesh intra-iteravely than to recontextualize virtually. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The ultra-project management factor is extensible. Think scalable. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-transparent. We will add to our capability to extend without decrementing our capability to aggregate. The C2C factor is proactive. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of killer macro-users. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will enhance the capacity of 24/7/365 re-sizing to empower. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We will revolutionize the term "cross-media". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We understand that if you target perfectly then you may also harness transparently. We think that most customer-directed, social-network-based entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will innovate the power of networks to harness. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "networks". If you deliver ultra-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The power to cultivate holistically leads to the capability to engineer seamlessly. Without web services, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. The branding monitoring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to drive super-compellingly. We think we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also monetize iteravely. Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate one-to-one global niches, 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic back-end impactful interactive TQC management are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? The C2C2B, B2B2C branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Without adequate networks, initiatives are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust, short-term? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to scale magnetically. We often drive magnetic e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. The power to incubate wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The capability to repurpose compellingly leads to the power to transform strategically. We will exploit the power of relationships to integrate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our ability to cultivate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, six-sigma bloatware and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.