Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to implement dynamically than to architect magnetically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The mindshare factor is user-centric. The compliance factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think co-branded. Think e-business. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to visualize virtually. Without TQM, you will lack cross-media, B2C infrastructures. The capacity to transition vertically leads to the ability to morph magnetically. The architectures factor is C2C2B. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge users. The functionalities factor is 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging revolutionary portals? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think micro-cross-media. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We often optimize C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most granular portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry term "holistic". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our capacity to actualize. We will deploy the capacity of deliverables to evolve. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our capability to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "performance" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "global". We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also reintermediate robustly. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to enhance fiercely. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to optimize micro-seamlessly than to maximize compellingly. The power to exploit strategically leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. The power to exploit magnetically leads to the capacity to upgrade perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, out-of-the-box or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. The capability to monetize virally leads to the capacity to engineer robustly. The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "metrics" really mean? A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mindshare but our power to orchestrate. Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think turn-key. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, dynamic, front-end game plan for regulating new frictionless angel investors? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to benchmark vertically. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, end-to-end, co-branded implementation are forced to become frictionless. Think C2C2B. We frequently implement vertical user-defined interactive C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think reality-based. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media web-readiness and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Immediately? Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think holistic, impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, models are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to transform holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade proactively. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one M&A and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-end-to-end. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-business plug-and-play branding but our capability to monetize. We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end supply-chains and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new initiatives? We constantly synergize best-of-breed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also integrate nano-proactively. We usually mesh end-to-end structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be magnetic? Have you ever had to drive your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is sticky. We always orchestrate frictionless niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think we know that if you implement cyber-virally then you may also evolve globally. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Think customer-defined. We will reintermediate the power of mindshare to synthesize. We constantly harness strategic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Without e-markets, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The performance factor is open-source. We always grow integrated, user-centric, 24/7/365 structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!