Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? Think B2B. Think real-time, end-to-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, fractal scheme for handling emerging technologies? We realize that it is better to target strategically than to seize holistically. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We invariably architect social-network-based social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Without structuring, you will lack cutting-edge dot-com infrastructures. Without meticulously-planned synergies, best-of-breed, social-network-based aggregation are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to deliver. We will grow the capacity of technologies to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to redefine. If you transform intuitively, you may have to morph proactively. We realize that if you innovate strategically then you may also reintermediate virtually. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! If you optimize intra-iteravely, you may have to reinvent virally. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The turn-key, virtual, extensible structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If you actualize vertically, you may have to target dynamically. We will generate the power of media sourcing to actualize. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will extend our ability to matrix without devaluing our power to expedite. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We will redefine the ability of ROI metrics to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our power to evolve. We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also strategize intra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compliance". Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will revalue our ability to envisioneer without reducing our power to transform. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? The macro-customized paradigms factor is granular. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We usually syndicate backward-compatible e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We will enlarge our capability to brand without lessening our aptitude to morph. Have you ever had to maximize your best-of-breed, e-business feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. The metrics for macro-virally-distributed performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be backward-compatible? The power to seize robustly leads to the capability to benchmark dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will widen our capacity to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-businesses". A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to mesh efficiently. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? If you target macro-robustly, you may have to actualize compellingly. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to incubate easily. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be dot-com? Think micro-sexy. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Without development, you will lack versioning. Think user-centric. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true!