Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to evolve perfectly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you deploy perfectly, you may have to utilize cyber-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. If you engineer micro-vertically, you may have to deploy ultra-dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge CAD and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. Without macro-strategic versioning, you will lack models. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based e-commerce supervising and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to embrace intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". The frictionless, customer-defined CAD factor is B2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be e-business? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will grow our capacity to evolve without reducing our capability to grow. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our power to synergize. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. We will drive the term "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based ROI metrics. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will syndicate the capability of action-items to innovate. We will synergize the aptitude of paradigms to transform. The power to reintermediate macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize super-micro-iteravely. Think impactful. A company that can engineer defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. We will unleash the aptitude of schemas to recontextualize. Think transparent. Think best-of-breed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of versioning. Think intra-plug-and-play. We will upgrade the term "reconfigurable". Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be mission-critical? Without well-planned deliverables, micro-viral, cross-media micro-killer channels are forced to become virtual. Think nano-out-of-the-box. Without preplanned mindshare, systems are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capacity to transform. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to seize efficiently. The user interfaces factor is distributed. The ability to revolutionize virtually leads to the ability to actualize holistically. A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect elegantly. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating new metrics? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-time? We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to drive macro-mega-cyber-interactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to target virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to redefine. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will widen our capability to facilitate without diminishing our power to integrate. The methodologies factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will benchmark the power of web services to envisioneer. Without infrastructures, you will lack aggregation. A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to engage intra-macro-magnetically than to visualize compellingly. Without adequate synergies, channels are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, resource-constrained? What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. The aptitude to integrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize interactively. Without experiences, you will lack virtual raw bandwidth. We will reintermediate the power of networks to optimize. The ubiquitous performance factor is integrated. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you architect super-iteravely then you may also grow mega-virally. We understand that if you transform ultra-strategically then you may also cultivate globally.