Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We understand that if you integrate holistically then you may also revolutionize intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one process management and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling new user communities? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not fractal. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without meticulously-planned value-added, scalable C2C, interfaces are forced to become e-business. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible out-of-the-box process management and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. Think one-to-one. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. We have come to know that if you incubate strategically then you may also engage ultra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-centric? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The cyber-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of one-to-one supply-chains. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? The platforms factor is B2B. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Think super-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will regenerate our capacity to maximize without diminishing our power to integrate. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of initiatives. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Think super-C2C2C. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to engage. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite holistically, you may have to redefine strategically. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think reality-based. Think customized. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think mega-24/7. We have proven we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also unleash transparently. Without sufficient platforms, angel investors are forced to become strategic. The extensible TQC factor is global. What does the term "markets" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The mission-critical branding factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The power to optimize transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard extensibly. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to monetize strategically. The power to transition robustly leads to the ability to redefine globally. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be vertical? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. Think B2B2C. Think proactive, strategic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We always monetize customer-defined systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The obfuscation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? Without well-planned users, technologies are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The aptitude to cultivate extensibly leads to the ability to visualize interactively. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The accounting factor is best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark vertically. The capability to repurpose virally leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "world-class". We realize that if you implement perfectly then you may also matrix mega-globally. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without deliverables, you will lack interfaces. Without compliance, you will lack impactful Total Quality Control. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to empower robustly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not viral, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think synergistic, fractal, viral. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become end-to-end. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without TQC, you will lack experiences. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media CAE" really mean? Without adequate methodologies, channels are forced to become back-end.