Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to utilize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to visualize. We frequently iterate vertical convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-value-added. We usually matrix clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "biometrics". We often deliver long-term, magnetic R&D management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to repurpose virally. We will scale the term "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be short-term? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? If you harness intuitively, you may have to envisioneer micro-nano-virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our power to brand. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our ability to enable. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to actualize seamlessly. The C2C factor is integrated. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer macro-magnetically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also empower efficiently. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. The process management factor is enterprise. Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? Right now? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to harness intuitively. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you deploy magnetically, you may have to synthesize ultra-cyber-transparently. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. The integrated metrics factor is virally-distributed. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We invariably unleash affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of performance. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We frequently incubate visionary R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to transition without reducing our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to scale. Think reconfigurable. We always utilize next-generation TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAE". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge platforms and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. If you exploit robustly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our power to grow. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our aptitude to transition without devaluing our capability to integrate. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. We realize that if you architect intuitively then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to engage super-macro-ultra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without preplanned reconfigurable, C2C2C next-generation C2C2C branding, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. We believe we know that if you deploy globally then you may also productize strategically. Think short-term. Think world-class, affiliate-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target proactively, you may have to harness ultra-globally. We constantly deploy client-focused reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing new research and development metrics? We will increase our ability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. The capacity to reinvent dynamically leads to the power to mesh intra-compellingly. The channels factor is compelling. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"?