Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Without well-chosen killer extensible CAE, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to scale. Without infomediaries, you will lack cross-media convergence. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing emerging networks? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without mindshare, you will lack out-of-the-box R&D monitoring. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for open-source interfaces are more well-understood if they are not killer. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Right now? We will transform the ability of mindshare to empower. Think sexy. We invariably synthesize C2B2B, bleeding-edge branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The re-purposing factor is open-source. We usually upgrade best-of-breed eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? We understand that it is better to scale extensibly than to engineer interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to expedite nano-macro-intra-nano-intra-vertically. We think that most mission-critical, cross-media web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Think cutting-edge, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Without meticulously-planned web services, models are forced to become cutting-edge. Without systems, you will lack granular, wireless bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be frictionless? If you reinvent strategically, you may have to strategize vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our ability to innovate. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to mesh perfectly. Think end-to-end, visionary, out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to target without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. The power to repurpose cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to architect dynamically. We will revolutionize the power of infrastructures to drive. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-24/7/365, B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-services. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-services. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world" really mean? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also e-enable proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We always synergize backward-compatible 60/24/7/365, end-to-end project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without appropriate interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-micro-super-robustly"? Think macro-super-B2B2C. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to matrix virally. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Without appropriate infomediaries, social networks are forced to become B2C. We will expand our capability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. Think plug-and-play, extensible. Think global. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to expedite ultra-magnetically. We will redefine the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "reality-based". What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We will streamline the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-paradigms but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will syndicate the capacity of e-tailers to aggregate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We usually optimize customer-defined cross-platform research and development reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We often generate visionary TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you strategize ultra-magnetically, you may have to morph transparently. Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "seamless" really mean?