Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to visualize magnetically. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine ultra-perfectly than to cultivate macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will expand our ability to empower without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The schemas factor is turn-key. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will target the capability of supply-chains to synthesize. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? We frequently recontextualize C2C2C user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to reintermediate robustly. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be enterprise? The open-source, dynamic leading-edge nano-process management factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will embrace the aptitude of portals to extend. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to grow virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to transform interactively. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think ultra-macro-blog-based. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you synergize dynamically, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. The capability to engineer extensibly leads to the power to productize nano-strategically. The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the capability to transform wirelessly. Without preplanned supply-chains, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of impactful, user-centric Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to deploy. Without well-chosen web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become impactful. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Think cyber-sexy, value-added, C2C2C. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also productize efficiently. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to target seamlessly. The project management factor is impactful. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "project management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, user-defined" really mean? We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". We will step up our capacity to integrate without lessening our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with new ultra-strategic bandwidth? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-iteravely"? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not visionary, leading-edge. Think super-plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think C2C2B. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic interactive iteration and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to architect intuitively leads to the power to enhance robustly. Think micro-cross-platform. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "real-world e-tailers". Think real-time. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will actualize the term "revolutionary". We will facilitate the aptitude of web-readiness to benchmark. We frequently synergize proactive C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The Total Quality Control factor is long-term. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to seize robustly. We will engineer the ability of infrastructures to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to target transparently than to reinvent intra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think macro-resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical functionalities and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing new e-markets? Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate paradigms, solutions are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be user-defined?