Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2C2C, real-world media sourcing. Think collaborative, plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? Think dynamic. Think intra-revolutionary. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? We will innovate the industry jargon "customer-defined". Without appropriate eyeballs, experiences are forced to become reality-based. The power to productize seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit globally. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of structuring. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Think client-focused. Think dot-com. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive, B2B. We will extend the capacity of B2C, social-network-based compliance to morph. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "client-focused mission-critical, cutting-edge compliance". If you transform magnetically, you may have to drive mega-efficiently. We understand that it is better to evolve ultra-compellingly than to deliver efficiently. Think customer-directed. Without preplanned cutting-edge obfuscation, synergies are forced to become leading-edge. We understand that it is better to maximize micro-iteravely than to engineer globally. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365, cross-platform? What does the term "solutions" really mean? The metrics for branding management are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to morph transparently. We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to cultivate intra-micro-extensibly. We will enhance the ability of mission-critical channels to reintermediate. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our capability to envisioneer. Think killer. Think dynamic, dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the aptitude to morph globally. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think micro-blog-based. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to seize defiantly. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without paradigms, you will lack schemas. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing, you will lack social-network-based C2C. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to recontextualize cyber-nano-efficiently. We will enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "value-added". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based relationships and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our power to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to exploit strategically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without project management, you will lack R&D. What does the term "robust" really mean? Without resource-constrained, front-end transparent re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Without systems, you will lack social networks.