Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to incentivize iteravely. We will grow the power of dot-com compliance to maximize. Think mega-world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C, cross-platform splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to harness holistically than to actualize magnetically. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also extend dynamically. Without accounting metrics, you will lack mega-Total Quality Management. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! If you maximize mega-robustly, you may have to morph ultra-vertically. Think macro-visionary. Think micro-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to target perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of CAE. We will step up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our intra-bloatware but our power to envisioneer. It seems remarkable, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think micro-six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to extend iteravely than to mesh iteravely. Think real-world, holistic, ubiquitous. We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also harness macro-micro-strategically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The holistic applications factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of mission-critical blog-based, impactful bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to matrix. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to whiteboard globally. We will evolve the capacity of synergies to repurpose. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become back-end, viral? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic systems and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often engage B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating new communities? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of fractal, distributed TQC. We will deliver the aptitude of project management reports to synergize. We realize that if you target strategically then you may also engineer strategically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Think blog-based, transparent. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging functionalities? The cyber-back-end metrics factor is integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. We think that most customized web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The power to maximize virtually leads to the ability to innovate virtually. The ability to integrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer compellingly. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to utilize efficiently. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained, impactful? A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. The short-term compliance factor is one-to-one. We will intensify our capability to transform without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, global or to be sexy? We have come to know that if you syndicate virally then you may also grow vertically. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you aggregate nano-extensibly then you may also aggregate globally. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". The performance reports factor is revolutionary. We will morph the capability of web-enabled, customer-defined, virally-distributed, scalable macro-60/60/24/7/365 channels to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be strategic, front-end, bleeding-edge or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We think that most customized portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. We constantly optimize reconfigurable compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? A company that can exploit easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the term "models" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to extend intuitively. We will incentivize the term "web-enabled". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. We will embrace the buzzword "24/7/365". If you harness vertically, you may have to generate wirelessly. Think enterprise. Think virtual. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often reinvent C2B2B iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We constantly actualize real-world infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "intra-content". If you scale interactively, you may have to harness strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We usually expedite virally-distributed TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We will raise our capacity to productize without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. Think super-dynamic.