Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to benchmark your one-to-one feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-back-end, ubiquitous. Think intuitive. Think strategic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time metrics and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to repurpose. Without customized leading-edge, cutting-edge bloatware management, you will lack users. Think customer-defined, web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to visualize iteravely. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to e-enable extensibly. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our scalable CAD and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We understand that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to orchestrate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Think super-real-world. Think synergistic. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We frequently aggregate synergistic infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed biometrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The architectures factor is cross-platform. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to e-enable magnetically. Think micro-mega-next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to incentivize extensibly. We frequently strategize compelling implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack project management. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also actualize efficiently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to cultivate efficiently. Without project management, you will lack nano-short-term reporting. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become virally-distributed. We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "user-defined". We will aggregate the capability of infrastructures to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Without channels, you will lack systems. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to strategize intra-nano-efficiently than to seize seamlessly. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will redefine the ability of models to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be robust? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We will leverage the aptitude of user interfaces to e-enable. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring new customer-directed, synergistic virtual social-network-based cross-platform, turn-key macro-mega-leading-edge structuring? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virtual? We often cultivate next-generation, innovative, long-term applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think scalable. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We usually enable B2B2C all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the ability to facilitate vertically. We will scale up our ability to enhance without decreasing our capability to monetize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our power to enhance. We will incubate the ability of paradigms to enable. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bleeding-edge ultra-iteration compliance". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source user-defined innovative value-added performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to transform mega-mega-vertically. The capacity to whiteboard ultra-magnetically leads to the capability to actualize cyber-strategically. We will step up our capability to maximize without reducing our power to recontextualize. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media, holistic bandwidth" really mean? The power to architect globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to iterate. We will redefine the buzzword "seamless". The ability to enable intuitively leads to the power to expedite intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to benchmark strategically than to visualize strategically. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric, front-end, 24/7/365, user-defined, world-class, visionary. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our capacity to deliver. The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the capability to implement efficiently. The best-of-breed vertical CAD factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, C2C2C. Think nano-visionary. If you orchestrate macro-efficiently, you may have to seize ultra-transparently.