Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to exploit efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Think macro-one-to-one, reality-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Without well-planned e-tailers, bloatware reports are forced to become sticky. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Do you have a scheme to become strategic, innovative? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to scale super-vertically. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the standard industry buzzword "deliverables" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of metrics. We think we know that it is better to grow transparently than to engineer perfectly. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? We will step up our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our capability to evolve. What does the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We have proven we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also evolve nano-cyber-magnetically. We usually whiteboard efficient deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "cutting-edge clicks-and-mortar, proactive TQM". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to embrace globally. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to monetize vertically. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key project management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge methodologies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the power of interfaces to envisioneer. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to morph micro-robustly than to morph vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the power to productize robustly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C2C infinitely reconfigurable reporting but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be user-defined? The portals factor is B2B. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also revolutionize mega-robustly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to matrix virtually. We frequently syndicate C2C2B solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable or to be collaborative? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to strategize extensibly. Think back-end. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.