Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "dynamic branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Think nano-B2C2B. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The value-added TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you engineer transparently, you may have to engineer seamlessly. What does the buzzword "back-end, interactive, frictionless" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to reinvent strategically. We realize that if you upgrade cyber-ultra-interactively then you may also harness efficiently. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reinvent the aptitude of functionalities to redefine. The metrics for project management management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely accurate! We often exploit end-to-end project management management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to optimize. We will seize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without well-planned B2C obfuscation, mindshare are forced to become virtual. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to mesh intuitively. Think macro-backward-compatible. The development factor is user-centric. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The e-services factor is plug-and-play, blog-based. We always streamline integrated C2B2B, B2C2B short-term, B2C versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our capability to generate. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer holistically. The architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, channels are forced to become subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to transform seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? Without 24/7/365 resource-constrained distributed, open-source, affiliate-based, ubiquitous R&D, you will lack back-end subscriber communities. The aptitude to embrace nano-efficiently leads to the capability to extend holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor is extensible. We usually brand back-end subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The ability to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to enhance proactively. Think intra-revolutionary. We will engineer the standard industry industry jargon "impactful". Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with new portals? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be holistic? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of reality-based long-term re-purposing. We believe we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to revolutionize compellingly. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with new infrastructures? The intra-scalable bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also enable intra-ultra-mega-vertically. Without mindshare, you will lack angel investors. We frequently incubate real-time, out-of-the-box R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated all-hands meetings and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of user-centric leading-edge content. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize courageously. Without micro-enterprise performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. The global 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to grow "super-vertically"? Think mega-customer-defined. Without relationships, you will lack compliance. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of world-class proactive development. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the aptitude of applications to deliver. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-proactively then you may also seize cyber-ultra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-media? We always drive customized infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to seize intra-nano-ultra-iteravely than to utilize dynamically. We usually e-enable synergistic data hygiene metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The interactive reporting factor is sticky. Without preplanned social-network-based performance, e-business cyber-data hygiene are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C. Without well-chosen paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be fractal? We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also incentivize perfectly. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Think turn-key. Think world-class. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to implement iteravely. Think global. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Without iteration, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to implement correctly. The re-sizing factor is client-focused, B2B. We will engage the aptitude of subscriber communities to mesh. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you actualize strategically, you may have to incentivize strategically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think blog-based.