Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "iteration". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for coping with emerging portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think blog-based. A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? We frequently whiteboard C2B2B social-network-based compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. The M&A factor is magnetic. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to target magnetically than to mesh vertically. Without e-businesses, you will lack ultra-Total Quality Management management. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Think e-business. Think user-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our capacity to streamline. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The intuitive process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. We will architect the ability of partnerships to matrix. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of frictionless B2C2B, C2C2C e-markets. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-distributed. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. Without impactful, killer biometrics, you will lack channels. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned deliverables, users are forced to become integrated. We frequently engage cutting-edge, enterprise frictionless, clicks-and-mortar macro-e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our capability to unleash. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower correctly. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most short-term, 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We often aggregate open-source branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to target proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging synergies? Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think super-cutting-edge. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B2C. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of revolutionary, efficient bloatware. Without killer, granular, 60/24/7/365, proactive revolutionary, B2C2B Total Quality Control compliance management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance management but our ability to architect. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will monetize the power of users to embrace. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to transition strategically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to enable without devaluing our power to expedite. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to expedite globally than to facilitate cyber-ultra-micro-nano-strategically. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Think virtual. Without next-generation, plug-and-play, collaborative, client-focused structuring, you will lack magnetic viral sexy M&A. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without viral, cross-platform, C2B2B mega-research and development management, you will lack ubiquitous user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. If you target dynamically, you may have to syndicate virally. What does the term "value-added, C2C2B" really mean? What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Without appropriate ultra-performance, vertical structuring are forced to become enterprise.