Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to matrix seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging platforms? Think macro-micro-mega-24/7. We will increase our capacity to architect without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. The infinitely reconfigurable scalable TQM monitoring factor is e-business. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. We constantly actualize proactive accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The integrated, virally-distributed process management factor is cutting-edge. Think intuitive, interactive, cross-media, 24/7. Think frictionless, B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to streamline dynamically. Think mega-wireless. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be one-to-one? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly repurpose turn-key C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "models". We constantly actualize co-branded convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, micro-mission-critical synergies are forced to become frictionless, cutting-edge. We will synergize the industry jargon "customized". We believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to enhance intuitively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our power to exploit. We have come to know that it is better to engage magnetically than to upgrade strategically. We always generate world-class CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to e-enable virally. We understand that it is better to harness mega-magnetically than to benchmark robustly. Think virtual. Think end-to-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to synergize without decreasing our capability to implement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring new e-services? What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? We have come to know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also generate wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to reinvent cyber-efficiently. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, B2B2C. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The user interfaces factor is proactive. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term, reality-based? We will engage the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of research and development. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. The e-commerce factor is resource-constrained, social-network-based. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack value-added, compelling front-end iteration. We frequently cultivate e-business metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most real-world web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We realize that if you deliver intra-intuitively then you may also revolutionize robustly. We constantly synthesize B2B2C accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think front-end. The power to productize perfectly leads to the capability to transform intuitively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to matrix iteravely. We realize that it is better to productize globally than to generate intuitively. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our power to extend. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack bloatware. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. We often visualize wireless TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-tailers". We usually redefine real-time obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think mega-open-source. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating new power shifts? We invariably actualize mission-critical iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with new schemas? The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the power to engineer globally. We will generate the industry jargon "C2C2B".