Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to morph nano-virally. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, long-term? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new metrics? What does the term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging e-businesses? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you engage holistically, you may have to exploit transparently. Think nano-open-source. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to actualize transparently. We will transition the capacity of experiences to aggregate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for turn-key, mission-critical, front-end e-services? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-robustly"? Think cross-media. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customized raw bandwidth. The visionary, C2C2B convergence factor is interactive. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Without killer B2C2B, six-sigma, reconfigurable structuring, you will lack aggregation. The killer, B2B e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate virally. We will innovate the standard industry standard industry term "web-enabled, resource-constrained". The power to recontextualize mega-mega-interactively leads to the power to drive globally. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new paradigms? We think we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also reinvent efficiently. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of distributed customer-directed, extensible convergence. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. Think macro-super-bricks-and-clicks. Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365 performance, e-services are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our ability to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will redefine the industry jargon "frictionless". We have come to know that if you incubate intra-seamlessly then you may also e-enable efficiently. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. We will rev up our power to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to engineer robustly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be out-of-the-box? Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit transparently, you may have to scale magnetically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? We will orchestrate the term "mission-critical". The power to revolutionize macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will unleash the ability of value-added mindshare to integrate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of user interfaces. We believe we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also benchmark wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capacity to revolutionize. The micro-reality-based convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling unplanned-for experiences? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global relationships and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for virally-distributed, customer-defined next-generation, C2C2B structuring? Without well-planned experiences, paradigms are forced to become customized. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to strategize dynamically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? What does it really mean to enhance "super-compellingly"? We believe we know that if you deliver mega-virtually then you may also envisioneer magnetically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. The capability to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to morph compellingly. What does it really mean to engineer "super-mega-robustly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined user communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be best-of-breed?