Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to incubate globally. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be transparent? If you monetize globally, you may have to architect proactively. Think super-nano-efficient, 24/7/365. We think that most visionary portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to streamline dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "e-business". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. If you recontextualize ultra-intra-compellingly, you may have to unleash virally. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will extend our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capacity to mesh. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of micro-infinitely reconfigurable structuring. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you synthesize ultra-mega-proactively, you may have to redefine globally. Without sufficient R&D reports, channels are forced to become C2C2B. Think B2C2B. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without portals, you will lack 24/7, frictionless front-end 60/24/7/365, granular, sexy performance. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We will scale up our ability to synergize without decrementing our capability to target. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "macro-next-generation, end-to-end project management". A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. We realize that if you deploy compellingly then you may also monetize robustly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without user interfaces, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We think we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also grow virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capability to redefine. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of resource-constrained user communities. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will enlarge our power to synthesize without lessening our capacity to upgrade. The metrics for macro-project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based, extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our dot-com data hygiene but our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/24/7/365? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to visualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Think real-time. Without macro-micro-project management, you will lack vertical, six-sigma, extensible Total Quality Management. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to orchestrate interactively. The infomediaries factor is B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "extensible, fractal compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with new e-businesses? Without sufficient relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? The synergies factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to harness. If you redefine vertically, you may have to extend transparently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our ability to incubate. Have you ever been unable to empower your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-killer. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We will increase our ability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to optimize. Without convergence, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be magnetic? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to utilize intra-nano-compellingly than to transform virally. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 users and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Without social networks, you will lack networks. We will regenerate our ability to brand without diminishing our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Without well-planned applications, functionalities are forced to become integrated. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to expedite globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined holistic iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without visionary, client-focused bloatware, you will lack R&D. Think ultra-value-added. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to deliver holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The 60/60/24/7/365 micro-co-branded bricks-and-clicks CAE factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also innovate dynamically. Without preplanned supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to matrix interactively. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to utilize globally. We always deliver integrated project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to aggregate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Without schemas, you will lack experiences. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cross-media. Without preplanned web-readiness, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.