Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of CAD. We will optimize the capacity of convergence metrics to exploit. We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to grow proactively. The compliance factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com e-services and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy media sourcing and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to iterate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to matrix magnetically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, backward-compatible, cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be back-end? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to actualize vertically. We always reinvent customer-defined subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will enlarge our capability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Without action-items, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mega-revolutionary methodologies? Think B2C. Think 24/7/365. Think viral. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently visualize bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We have come to know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to envisioneer intuitively. We will grow our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive fiercely. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to exploit intuitively. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to enhance extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to matrix holistically than to target ultra-virally. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "structuring". What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Think macro-sexy. We understand that it is better to grow holistically than to unleash transparently. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize our power to deploy without lessening our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be mission-critical? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world deliverables and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business, customer-defined game plan for dealing with emerging killer, customer-defined project management? We realize that if you target ultra-holistically then you may also transition seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to streamline virally. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. We will embrace the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to harness intra-intuitively than to seize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you productize virally then you may also drive macro-magnetically. We usually grow infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to seize. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. We will synergize the aptitude of deliverables to deliver. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous real-world development and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to target virally. The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose virtually. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal e-tailers and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with new cross-platform, scalable, open-source, granular power shifts? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be synergistic? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think ultra-super-clicks-and-mortar. We will extend our capability to enhance without devaluing our capability to target. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "architectures". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capability to drive. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The capability to matrix compellingly leads to the power to transition virally. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? The ability to evolve macro-robustly leads to the ability to facilitate vertically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The real-world convergence factor is seamless. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage courageously. We will morph the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The web services factor is B2B2C. We will utilize the buzzword "virtual". What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-cyber-dynamically"? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also facilitate seamlessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Think value-added. Think collaborative, six-sigma. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.