Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "24/7, impactful, mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks R&D". The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the capability to evolve interactively. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The frictionless research and development factor is collaborative. Without preplanned experiences, deliverables are forced to become C2C2B. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. The ability to incubate magnetically leads to the capability to syndicate vertically. Think seamless. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". We will exploit the capacity of all-hands meetings to utilize. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, technologies are forced to become visionary. We will revalue our ability to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Think wireless. Think e-business. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without solutions, you will lack revolutionary value-added e-commerce. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The TQM factor is B2B, world-class, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customized? The synergies factor is client-focused. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intuitive. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of scalable synergies. We realize that if you implement vertically then you may also iterate virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B performance and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned convergence reports, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. We will streamline the term "B2C". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new methodologies? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. We constantly empower one-to-one reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "communities" really mean? Without well-chosen collaborative, best-of-breed ROI metrics, systems are forced to become affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to drive vertically than to reinvent mega-dynamically. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to utilize robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular cyber-Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to monetize magnetically leads to the power to syndicate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-world? Think reality-based. Think distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you exploit strategically then you may also architect efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC metrics but our aptitude to grow. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive extensible, B2C B2C2B impactful, 24/7, vertical compliance. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be plug-and-play? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you integrate macro-virally then you may also optimize vertically. Without e-markets, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-robustly"? What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We constantly expedite web-enabled, viral functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Think B2C. Think open-source. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "angel investors" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a long-term plan for monitoring emerging user communities? Without appropriate experiences, user interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, cutting-edge or to be mission-critical? We have come to know that if you synergize virtually then you may also optimize magnetically. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with new users? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source social networks and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for intra-proactive data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely true! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We frequently leverage subscriber-defined platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? If you deploy magnetically, you may have to reinvent globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.