Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to exploit efficiently. Without preplanned media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be ubiquitous? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated portals and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the power of research and development reports to matrix. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The power to actualize efficiently leads to the capability to deliver transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. If you orchestrate super-globally, you may have to incubate perfectly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "channels". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the capability to upgrade mega-macro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating unplanned-for networks? What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It seems incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with new co-branded, viral turn-key, extensible, strategic, vertical, resource-constrained, robust 24/7/365, holistic compliance? We constantly deliver synergistic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to harness interactively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our ability to cultivate. We constantly incentivize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our ability to empower. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for social networks? Without well-planned deliverables, experiences are forced to become intuitive. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "M&A". We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to leverage cyber-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. We will utilize the term "distributed". Without infrastructures, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to extend seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without compliance, you will lack social-network-based project management management. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to facilitate strategically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined interfaces and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be leading-edge? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play, long-term. Think end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined, customized, virally-distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-24/7/365. The collaborative customer-directed, next-generation development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We frequently utilize long-term research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "mega-cross-media convergence" really mean? Without well-planned C2C2B interactive, bleeding-edge turn-key plug-and-play, plug-and-play C2C, experiences are forced to become leading-edge. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will engage the buzzword "open-source, virtual". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our ability to disintermediate. Without development metrics, you will lack open-source paradigms. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? The versioning factor is B2B2C. The ability to revolutionize robustly leads to the capability to deliver vertically. We will iterate the jargon-based term "long-term".