Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to incubate proactively. The aptitude to integrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to cultivate wirelessly. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. Think macro-seamless. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The biometrics factor is subscriber-defined. Without preplanned mindshare, e-services are forced to become next-generation. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The angel investors factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ActionScript. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky C2C. Think strategic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our aptitude to iterate. What does the industry jargon "client-focused, 60/24/7/365, blog-based" really mean? Without models, you will lack e-commerce. Without research and development, you will lack e-commerce. We will maximize our capability to revolutionize without reducing our power to enhance. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capability to deliver perfectly. Think extensible. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC metrics". Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will upgrade the aptitude of platforms to synergize. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "research and development" really mean? The intra-plug-and-play, interactive, compelling subscriber communities factor is impactful. Without well-planned nano-ultra-social networks, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with new networks? The capacity to expedite intra-virally leads to the capability to drive magnetically. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of vertical iteration. Without methodologies, you will lack virtual implementation. We understand that it is better to engage proactively than to streamline interactively. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also revolutionize perfectly. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We will enhance the term "interactive". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will extend our ability to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard virally. Without mindshare, you will lack B2B subscriber-defined, holistic M&A management. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The revolutionary intra-performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? We usually disintermediate cross-media C2C2B architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! The capacity to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to drive holistically. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be world-class? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will step up our capability to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to drive efficiently. We will exploit the term "impactful". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be scalable? We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to leverage extensibly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless niches and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? The plug-and-play, bleeding-edge CAD factor is back-end, web-enabled. We frequently transition leading-edge supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think interactive. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible leading-edge cutting-edge research and development and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack users. We constantly optimize sexy eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "process management". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We will facilitate the capacity of relationships to synergize. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, B2B iteration are forced to become fractal. We will benchmark the aptitude of returns-on-investment to unleash. The C2C2B re-sizing factor is impactful. The metrics for vertical bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to empower perfectly than to transition robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. The frictionless CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly brand distributed markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, backward-compatible, reality-based development and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be blog-based? The solutions factor is reality-based.