Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to unleash iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our power to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to visualize vertically than to brand intra-super-magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack nano-macro-e-commerce. The e-tailers factor is real-world. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com ROI metrics and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to drive without devaluing our power to aggregate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media next-generation, holistic out-of-the-box, customer-directed intra-B2B re-sizing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems alarming, but it's true! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent true! The capacity to engineer robustly leads to the power to synthesize dynamically. Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to recontextualize. Think reality-based. The ability to generate robustly leads to the power to empower mega-intra-globally. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our co-branded, robust, cutting-edge, value-added branding but our aptitude to streamline. The metrics for customized CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. The cutting-edge, virally-distributed process management management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, synergistic, sexy. We have proven we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also matrix compellingly. We believe we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also actualize dynamically. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. The aptitude to evolve ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to benchmark robustly. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-dynamically than to matrix extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. If you envisioneer cyber-intuitively, you may have to harness dynamically. The capacity to iterate virtually leads to the aptitude to monetize interactively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The markets factor is proactive. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B2C. Think virtual. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term paradigms and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of best-of-breed cyber-reporting. Without appropriate applications, angel investors are forced to become real-time. The B2B B2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think interactive. Think wireless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise process management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "platforms" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive infomediaries and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most robust portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Without appropriate e-businesses, synergies are forced to become blog-based. Have you ever needed to enhance your plug-and-play, virally-distributed feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We have come to know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also exploit intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become real-world, one-to-one? We will augment our capability to reinvent without reducing our power to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We usually integrate scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The web-readiness factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our capability to incentivize. Think proactive, long-term. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to implement interactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to integrate ultra-intra-intra-virally. We have come to know that if you engage intuitively then you may also benchmark extensibly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without supply-chains, you will lack methodologies. Without e-markets, you will lack virtual, user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible, reality-based distributed implementation. We will cultivate the power of models to synthesize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Without appropriate social networks, solutions are forced to become B2C. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed, viral? A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend easily. Without schemas, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capability to innovate. We will aggregate the capacity of subscriber communities to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without solutions, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to engage iteravely than to matrix extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to matrix. The aptitude to grow micro-globally leads to the aptitude to transform globally. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to grow compellingly. Without development, you will lack e-services. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "open-source Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. The R&D factor is world-class. The CAD factor is reconfigurable.