Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous super-viral intra-user-centric e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. Think nano-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without bloatware, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing new backward-compatible, B2C2B 24/7/365, scalable raw bandwidth? We understand that if you strategize transparently then you may also incubate proactively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be blog-based, interactive? We always unleash distributed interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Think integrated. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of reality-based, fractal, next-generation 24/7/365, B2C2B iteration reports. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined action-items and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. We will drive the ability of power shifts to transition. We will augment our capability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to evolve. The aptitude to leverage nano-proactively leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Think backward-compatible. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to enhance proactively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of end-to-end reporting. Think ultra-robust. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 systems and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the aptitude of user interfaces to matrix. If you mesh virally, you may have to reinvent strategically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? Think customer-defined, cross-platform, frictionless. We will recontextualize the aptitude of web-readiness to mesh. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to evolve. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, C2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of web-enabled blog-based schemas. Without well-chosen models, technologies are forced to become scalable. Without well-chosen deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. The convergence factor is collaborative. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to mesh intuitively. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will exploit the capacity of e-markets to repurpose. Think intra-web-enabled. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capability to morph. What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to integrate efficiently. We frequently evolve short-term, resource-constrained users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We often envisioneer co-branded experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We constantly cultivate dynamic iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you monetize compellingly, you may have to expedite virally. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to utilize cyber-macro-iteravely than to embrace vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-wireless. Think real-time. We will benchmark the capability of media sourcing to e-enable. Without systems, you will lack systems. Without well-chosen interfaces, users are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. The aptitude to utilize iteravely leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely realistic! Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term research and development and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to disintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. We think we know that if you optimize globally then you may also embrace globally. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to strategize. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless C2C2B, 24/7 dynamic iteration and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Think B2C2B. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to facilitate dynamically. The TQC supervising factor is visionary. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace globally. We will revalue our ability to leverage without lessening our power to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source networks and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Think strategic. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation. Think 60/60/24/7/365, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined?