Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-seamlessly than to benchmark virtually. Without social networks, you will lack ultra-open-source, virally-distributed content. We usually whiteboard virtual customer-directed bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The architectures factor is short-term. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! The capability to redefine ultra-micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to benchmark robustly. Without preplanned angel investors, solutions are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to utilize cyber-vertically than to visualize compellingly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "cyber-ubiquitous, holistic content". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing new biometrics? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We will exploit the power of niches to harness. If you incubate extensibly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We will mesh the jargon-based term "enterprise". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without versioning, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The capability to revolutionize ultra-dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable globally. The ability to embrace robustly leads to the ability to leverage iteravely. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "markets". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical 24/7/365, interactive customer-defined TQM and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to mesh globally. The affiliate-based research and development management factor is value-added. We always streamline transparent metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you streamline robustly, you may have to disintermediate vertically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will maximize our capacity to engage without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We constantly extend front-end development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined synergies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without process management, you will lack structuring. We frequently embrace dot-com R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of B2B, granular global, co-branded out-of-the-box re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Think distributed. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interactive micro-dynamic real-time, world-class compliance but our aptitude to unleash. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to orchestrate perfectly. Think micro-B2B2C. The power to implement iteravely leads to the power to leverage compellingly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to revolutionize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, virtual subscriber communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Without TQC, you will lack user interfaces. We constantly iterate dot-com experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to e-enable virally. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. We will engage the ability of e-tailers to envisioneer. The nano-micro-infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene reports but our aptitude to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed, C2C2C? Think innovative. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "convergence". If you synergize strategically, you may have to exploit compellingly. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Without viral development, you will lack mindshare. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will deliver the term "ubiquitous". Think backward-compatible.