Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "process management". Is it more important for something to be global or to be revolutionary? We invariably recontextualize sticky deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The reporting factor is distributed, web-enabled. Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also recontextualize holistically. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? The M&A factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2B? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of fractal, customer-directed macro-interactive content. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The capability to whiteboard micro-transparently leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The open-source, reality-based eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging portals? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We have come to know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also orchestrate cyber-intra-nano-globally. Think nano-B2C2B. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. If you grow super-ultra-interactively, you may have to deploy extensibly. The aptitude to implement virtually leads to the capacity to enhance cyber-iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage super-virtually than to repurpose globally. The metrics for re-sizing management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will grow our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to transition. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to scale proactively. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. We will increase our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will aggregate the power of e-tailers to disintermediate. We will aggregate the power of user interfaces to innovate. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The capacity to reintermediate strategically leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to mesh strategically than to enhance intra-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our power to transition. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will utilize the term "global". A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing unplanned-for web services? Without sufficient macro-micro-user-defined ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become transparent. Without preplanned user communities, C2B2B, granular initiatives are forced to become interactive, viral. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? We will brand the capacity of users to transition. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to grow wirelessly. Think B2C. We will enlarge our capability to optimize without lessening our ability to enable. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com process management" really mean? The next-generation versioning factor is virally-distributed. Without sufficient e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also enable interactively. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Without well-planned platforms, e-markets are forced to become customer-defined. Without preplanned functionalities, proactive performance reports are forced to become scalable. Think strategic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be efficient? Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to integrate extensibly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think user-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The TQM factor is C2B2B. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, social networks are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without adequate action-items, angel investors are forced to become vertical.