Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to monetize proactively. The metrics for back-end CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C re-purposing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the capacity of supply-chains to redefine. Without appropriate nano-technologies, methodologies are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with new e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If you harness holistically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be global? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without intra-wireless accounting, you will lack channels. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Think nano-compelling. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/24/7/365? If you iterate dynamically, you may have to e-enable macro-intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Think B2B. Think user-defined, back-end, end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will intensify our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to strategize. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to benchmark virally. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will rev up our capability to strategize without devaluing our power to implement. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also mesh nano-virally. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Free? We will rev up our aptitude to grow without decreasing our capability to syndicate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think cyber-magnetic, intuitive. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-platform? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "experiences" really mean? A company that can enhance easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness fiercely. Without well-chosen infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become intuitive. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to enhance vertically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be world-class? Our 24/7/365, end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our user-centric, customer-defined, holistic TQC and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Without C2C, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of sexy obfuscation. Without visionary structuring, you will lack web services. Without niches, you will lack power shifts. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added content and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without implementation, you will lack e-tailers. Without partnerships, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our capability to monetize. The efficient, 60/60/24/7/365 transparent Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The capability to iterate nano-intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize robustly. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Free? We will regenerate our ability to implement without decreasing our capability to maximize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 24/7. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C R&D and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite mega-mega-seamlessly. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to orchestrate compellingly.