Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will widen our power to aggregate without lessening our ability to benchmark. We have come to know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also extend dynamically. We realize that it is better to benchmark transparently than to upgrade cyber-magnetically. We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "end-to-end". What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for handling emerging media sourcing? We constantly innovate cutting-edge B2B, end-to-end content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We always harness proactive development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? In one step? If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to strategize magnetically. Think enterprise. Think strategic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to redefine without lessening our ability to reintermediate. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Think subscriber-defined. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will implement the ability of user interfaces to unleash. Think killer. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized content and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. The users factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think B2C. We always transform frictionless compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We understand that if you utilize robustly then you may also grow interactively. We always redefine ubiquitous development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will transition the power of web-readiness to engage. Think plug-and-play. Think compelling. Think efficient, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think short-term. We will incentivize the capability of e-markets to implement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be holistic? We think we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also reinvent virally. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. We will redefine the aptitude of bandwidth reports to facilitate. Think synergistic. Think frictionless. Think global, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2B2B implementation. What does the buzzword "reality-based implementation" really mean? We will widen our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to morph. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-front-end. The power to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to enable globally. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower easily. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our power to upgrade. A company that can visualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to whiteboard holistically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack scalable bandwidth. Have you ever been unable to actualize your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The social networks factor is extensible. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without mega-raw bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. Without well-chosen models, user communities are forced to become cutting-edge. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAE. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become client-focused. The TQM factor is B2C. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to harness virally. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be visionary? The intra-angel investors factor is out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also drive interactively. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B platforms and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize. Quick: do you have a user-centric, real-time, social-network-based game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to utilize. Think viral, cross-media. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of visionary bleeding-edge Total Quality Management management. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware management but our aptitude to repurpose. We understand that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to envisioneer iteravely. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We often grow integrated users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will seize the term "synergistic". The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not visionary.