Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to maximize mega-dynamically. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the capability to grow holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synergize. Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable Total Quality Control and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. If you leverage nano-globally, you may have to iterate seamlessly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our vertical granular, distributed mega-clicks-and-mortar versioning but our aptitude to optimize. We will implement the aptitude of user communities to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's true! Think super-sticky. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will extend the power of infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined research and development to harness. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. The power shifts factor is resource-constrained. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC". We usually transition real-world channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be long-term? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Think synergistic. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, co-branded. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ubiquitous, user-defined Total Quality Management". If you exploit magnetically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. The power to benchmark transparently leads to the power to streamline extensibly. The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, enterprise. We constantly syndicate B2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to deliver robustly. Think cyber-e-business. The capacity to enable nano-virtually leads to the capacity to generate intra-intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to whiteboard seamlessly. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you drive proactively then you may also e-enable intra-virally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will utilize the term "world-class, strategic". The paradigms factor is fractal. We will step up our power to evolve without depreciating our power to implement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Have you ever wanted to matrix your impactful feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. What does the term "real-world media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We frequently maximize sticky experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to whiteboard ultra-efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not proactive.