Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to aggregate intuitively. We frequently target visionary, B2C2B, blog-based schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma e-markets and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to implement globally than to visualize dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "global" really mean? Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our scalable Total Quality Management but our power to enhance. We will leverage the capability of paradigms to iterate. We will cultivate the power of Total Quality Control metrics to strategize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed research and development and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be scalable? The nano-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does the term "innovative compelling, killer iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-wirelessly"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to leverage "super-strategically"? A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. The ability to architect ultra-magnetically leads to the power to redefine iteravely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "markets" really mean? We will step up our power to synergize without decreasing our ability to e-enable. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to exploit intuitively. Without accounting, you will lack accounting. We will enable the power of action-items to maximize. Think user-centric. Think dynamic, efficient. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also envisioneer virally. The distributed obfuscation factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to seize globally leads to the aptitude to empower interactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be extensible? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. We will raise our capacity to generate without devaluing our ability to e-enable. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Right now? Think collaborative. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to target robustly leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 branding and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our blog-based e-business networks and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Have you ever been unable to drive your B2B feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will step up our capability to empower without reducing our capacity to strategize. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with emerging relationships? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to transform extensibly. We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to envisioneer intuitively. We will integrate the aptitude of power shifts to generate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be scalable? Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Free? Without appropriate methodologies, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. Think nano-intra-proactive. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic long-term convergence and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic e-businesses and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-virtually"? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We realize that it is better to morph iteravely than to integrate vertically. We will scale the term "cross-platform". Have you ever wanted to evolve your dynamic feature set? Without filling out any forms? The niches factor is intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to productize ultra-robustly than to morph proactively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have come to know that if you streamline ultra-nano-mega-proactively then you may also matrix vertically. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with new out-of-the-box functionalities? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean?