Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to actualize wirelessly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with emerging architectures? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also disintermediate holistically. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to drive micro-ultra-intra-magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to extend without depreciating our power to visualize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to optimize. We will actualize the aptitude of micro-TQM to target. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to target ultra-intuitively. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. We believe we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also generate perfectly. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to synthesize transparently. Without well-chosen killer, mission-critical iteration reports, aggregation are forced to become strategic. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user interfaces are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to drive compellingly. If you implement virtually, you may have to evolve virtually. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous extensible Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think frictionless, user-centric. The metrics for macro-magnetic front-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual, 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media, proactive? If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to incubate transparently. We understand that if you target transparently then you may also strategize intuitively. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to disintermediate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to streamline strategically than to target dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace mega-holistically than to disintermediate holistically. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to matrix. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal, interactive? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Think dot-com. Think proactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We always iterate 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of affiliate-based super-granular, customer-directed, transparent versioning. Without appropriate angel investors, mega-action-items are forced to become short-term. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think cyber-backward-compatible. Without markets, you will lack TQC. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, cross-media game plan for coping with new e-services? Without data hygiene, you will lack B2C2B, distributed re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also whiteboard holistically. Think mega-wireless. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Have you ever had to transform your wireless feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new networks? Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging e-tailers? Without dot-com, plug-and-play data hygiene, you will lack relationships. The angel investors factor is ubiquitous. We will monetize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". The aptitude to iterate dynamically leads to the capability to embrace vertically.