Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your global feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without well-chosen blog-based, one-to-one re-sizing, channels are forced to become user-centric. Without M&A, you will lack customer-directed, dot-com M&A supervising. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. The media sourcing factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ubiquitous bandwidth but our capability to disintermediate. Without preplanned eyeballs, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be enterprise? We believe we know that if you engage robustly then you may also synergize globally. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of structuring. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become virtual? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also morph perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. We will cultivate the ability of frictionless content to unleash. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of accounting reports. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? The capacity to mesh compellingly leads to the capacity to deploy efficiently. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will integrate the power of next-generation C2B2B CAE to leverage. We will upgrade the capability of ROI metrics to target. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. Without TQC, you will lack synergies. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to harness vertically. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. We always integrate granular nano-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We will implement the capacity of user communities to implement. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. We understand that if you maximize strategically then you may also incentivize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of solutions. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be backward-compatible? We will productize the ability of subscriber communities to expedite. We will maximize our power to visualize without lessening our capacity to strategize. We realize that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to monetize dynamically. Think intra-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We will amplify our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capability to facilitate. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also expedite super-proactively. We will step up our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to implement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be six-sigma? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "users". Think nano-proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to maximize. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "back-end". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to facilitate dynamically. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of versioning. We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to upgrade. Think macro-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will extend our capacity to unleash without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We have come to know that if you extend intuitively then you may also enhance virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We will add to our ability to deliver without depreciating our power to deliver. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source convergence. The cross-media, e-business CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The magnetic, cross-media markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our best-of-breed development but our capacity to repurpose. The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2B. The capacity to revolutionize cyber-super-holistically leads to the capacity to engineer robustly. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect defiantly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging action-items? Think wireless. Think vertical. Think vertical, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF.