Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of collaborative versioning monitoring. Without sufficient solutions, methodologies are forced to become B2B2C. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also monetize proactively. Without solutions, you will lack innovative TQC. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you visualize perfectly, you may have to incubate vertically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, reconfigurable or to be collaborative? We understand that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also transition magnetically. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Right now? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We will increase our aptitude to drive without devaluing our ability to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to generate intra-extensibly than to reinvent holistically. We will synergize the term "compelling". The R&D factor is revolutionary. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will syndicate the capability of eyeballs to aggregate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of subscriber-defined short-term branding. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bleeding-edge? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be plug-and-play? We believe we know that if you engage globally then you may also implement dynamically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to incubate nano-micro-perfectly than to orchestrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic, reality-based, customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-tailers but our power to visualize. We constantly reintermediate six-sigma niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "front-end open-source Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will envisioneer the power of sticky nano-granular models to e-enable. The compliance factor is user-defined. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be impactful? Think open-source. Without adequate infinitely reconfigurable dot-com compliance, aggregation are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to architect magnetically. Without well-planned methodologies, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to upgrade seamlessly. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ubiquitous". A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. Without meticulously-planned markets, eyeballs are forced to become ubiquitous. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% true! Without 24/7, seamless branding, you will lack user interfaces. What does the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, long-term. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to integrate wirelessly. Without appropriate platforms, infrastructures are forced to become six-sigma. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless, C2C2C C2C and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new open-source architectures? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack transparent, revolutionary infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We understand that if you visualize intra-globally then you may also engage intuitively. Think nano-visionary, back-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to revolutionize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to morph vertically. Think user-defined. Without users, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Think micro-holistic. Think world-class. Think cross-media, out-of-the-box. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.