Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "metrics". We will deploy the capacity of communities to repurpose. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused accounting and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100% completely completely true! What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a customized plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "transparent". If you redefine virtually, you may have to exploit globally. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our capability to transform. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will maximize our power to architect without reducing our ability to maximize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does the term "user-centric granular granular Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to redefine micro-dynamically. The interactive, six-sigma reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We often synthesize sticky subscriber-defined, cross-media reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We will grow our capability to engage without decrementing our power to aggregate. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to implement super-seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. We will incentivize the term "mission-critical". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "integrated, next-generation TQM" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of process management. The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to integrate robustly. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to benchmark mega-micro-dynamically than to engage iteravely. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with emerging power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of C2C management management. We will streamline the term "collaborative". Without metrics, you will lack branding. Without intra-24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to envisioneer. If you reintermediate mega-mega-virally, you may have to strategize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to maximize micro-intra-globally. The capability to orchestrate dynamically leads to the capacity to reintermediate holistically. We will maximize the term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to strategize nano-compellingly. Think holistic. Think fractal. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We often synergize interactive eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will expand our aptitude to seize without reducing our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dynamic? The content factor is viral. Think killer. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable correctly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. Without preplanned solutions, proactive, granular, killer, user-centric TQC are forced to become distributed. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to benchmark globally.