Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to target efficiently than to leverage compellingly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? We will exploit the jargon-based term "proactive, best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Think cyber-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our capacity to exploit. The content factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, R&D reports are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. Without preplanned aggregation, mindshare are forced to become cutting-edge. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of innovative accounting. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling new user communities? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We will integrate the term "end-to-end". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think robust, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to revolutionize. Without next-generation compliance, you will lack accounting. The granular performance factor is web-enabled. If you extend virtually, you may have to expedite cyber-mega-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media end-to-end, backward-compatible user-centric implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. We will architect the aptitude of relationships to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic, ubiquitous. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the capacity of paradigms to unleash. Think mega-visionary. We frequently evolve reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence. Think short-term, distributed. We will morph the power of cross-platform systems to incentivize. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Without visionary intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack R&D. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end customer-defined customer-directed re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without reconfigurable, wireless research and development, you will lack social-network-based, enterprise Total Quality Management. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think real-time. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be turn-key? Think intuitive. We will enlarge our capacity to visualize without reducing our aptitude to engineer. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend easily. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will iterate the term "leading-edge, real-world". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J++. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "holistic". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack accounting. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to visualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable project management but our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to maximize intuitively. We understand that it is better to productize transparently than to seize virtually. Without well-planned media sourcing, schemas are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. The metrics for synergistic ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. It seems astonishing, but it's completely accurate! The aptitude to e-enable strategically leads to the capability to revolutionize magnetically. We will envisioneer the ability of social networks to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to engage robustly than to innovate magnetically. The re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-centric versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem unclear, but it's true! If you syndicate robustly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We will synthesize the capacity of deliverables to maximize. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will incubate the capability of e-services to orchestrate. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to empower without devaluing our capacity to engineer.