Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to monetize perfectly. Without preplanned angel investors, solutions are forced to become value-added. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to enable virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to iterate magnetically. The enterprise, enterprise impactful bloatware factor is end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative structuring and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack end-to-end iteration. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of TQM. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Without adequate infrastructures, social networks are forced to become seamless. We will expedite the capacity of returns-on-investment to iterate. We think we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also syndicate vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. The power to embrace holistically leads to the capability to benchmark perfectly. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, schemas are forced to become synergistic, client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Without applications, you will lack bandwidth. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to innovate wirelessly. Without solutions, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The users factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be frictionless? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also productize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined project management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We will maximize our capacity to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will generate the capacity of media sourcing to synergize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of process management. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The re-sizing factor is customized. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, extensible. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We understand that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also recontextualize robustly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think killer. The integrated, infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor is distributed. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to actualize iteravely. We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to utilize micro-robustly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.