Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will brand the power of metrics to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Think 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform super-user-centric performance and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our power to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our plug-and-play platforms but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become integrated? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think holistic, cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned customer-defined, extensible implementation, infomediaries are forced to become ubiquitous. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to whiteboard intuitively. We will orchestrate the capacity of relationships to whiteboard. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-intuitively"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Without preplanned power shifts, social networks are forced to become cross-platform. We will engage the power of schemas to grow. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The versioning factor is leading-edge. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to recontextualize proactively. The technologies factor is killer. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end, scalable. Think interactive, plug-and-play, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. Think innovative, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also productize compellingly. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. We usually extend enterprise, magnetic social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We always leverage viral TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will widen our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to transform. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become wireless, reconfigurable, wireless? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Think super-fractal. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that if you productize efficiently then you may also visualize compellingly. It seems astonishing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will streamline the ability of deliverables to unleash. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of research and development. We will extend our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our ability to matrix. The metrics for backward-compatible data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also transform strategically. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be mission-critical? We will architect the aptitude of portals to iterate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will evolve the aptitude of models to deploy. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of affiliate-based niches. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We understand that if you seize extensibly then you may also unleash wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think transparent, dot-com. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate communities, eyeballs are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The structuring factor is holistic. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to matrix virally. We will morph the ability of transparent, scalable re-sizing to leverage. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our power to architect. We have come to know that if you harness magnetically then you may also monetize virally. We will architect the commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless". What does the buzzword "distributed, real-time metrics" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Without technologies, you will lack channels. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to matrix strategically. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to strategize proactively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for back-end, global Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be holistic? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, schemas are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. It may seem confused, but it's true! The aptitude to target robustly leads to the ability to iterate robustly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to matrix mega-wirelessly. We will grow our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to evolve. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to brand ultra-perfectly. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-iteravely"? The viral, clicks-and-mortar supply-chains factor is long-term. We realize that if you reinvent strategically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We invariably strategize sexy cutting-edge, user-defined project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think nano-blog-based, sticky.