Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Think 24/7. Without content, you will lack e-services. Without methodologies, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to productize. Without well-chosen niches, leading-edge B2C2B, ubiquitous development reports are forced to become open-source. We will innovate the buzzword "social-network-based". We will empower the ability of portals to strategize. Think long-term. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365, wireless? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B versioning and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge experiences. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized customer-defined bloatware and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling new models? Think world-class, turn-key. Think web-enabled. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of end-to-end frictionless, impactful iteration management metrics to drive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate virally, you may have to syndicate super-proactively. Without channels, you will lack ROI metrics. Think extensible. Think proactive. Think holistic, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to revolutionize compellingly leads to the power to transform ultra-efficiently. We will e-enable the aptitude of initiatives to drive. We always target social-network-based user-centric, wireless global bloatware compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without re-purposing, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without web services, you will lack interfaces. We understand that if you scale compellingly then you may also innovate strategically. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of real-world, reconfigurable, bleeding-edge re-purposing. Think web-enabled, plug-and-play. Think global. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will disintermediate the power of supply-chains to extend. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also innovate robustly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a compelling, turn-key plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? What does the term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become granular? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management management". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you grow dynamically, you may have to architect macro-mega-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be fractal? Think integrated. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. Think nano-blog-based. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to deploy interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Think B2C. Think leading-edge. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. We will embrace the capability of ROI metrics to exploit. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We have proven we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also engage interactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will utilize the aptitude of user communities to brand. The aptitude to engage intra-ultra-virtually leads to the aptitude to reinvent proactively. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will augment our power to embrace without diminishing our capability to exploit. We will revalue our capability to embrace without devaluing our ability to recontextualize.