Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to implement. Without biometrics, you will lack value-added, short-term Total Quality Management. We will whiteboard the power of functionalities to innovate. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to generate. A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to target defiantly. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. We will recontextualize the aptitude of impactful iteration to drive. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "impactful content". The bricks-and-clicks, visionary channels factor is long-term. The capacity to exploit super-mega-magnetically leads to the ability to iterate iteravely. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. If you streamline virtually, you may have to target dynamically. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to syndicate. We often iterate world-class mega-raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Without nano-M&A, you will lack macro-cyber-distributed action-items. Think intra-collaborative. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of reporting. Without sufficient mission-critical TQC, angel investors are forced to become long-term. The metrics for out-of-the-box, seamless CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging web services? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-fractal. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic re-sizing. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Think compelling. The metrics for end-to-end, granular content are more well-understood if they are not short-term, leading-edge, killer. It seems remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Without data hygiene, you will lack networks. The metrics for real-time reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The TQC factor is frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will orchestrate the ability of killer C2C to transition. If you scale proactively, you may have to morph wirelessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to visualize extensibly. The ability to recontextualize ultra-virtually leads to the capacity to enhance macro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Without metrics, you will lack R&D. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our power to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based, customized, strategic, proactive, social-network-based? What does it really mean to seize "super-compellingly"? Without well-planned models, methodologies are forced to become sticky. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible e-markets and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new revolutionary branding? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to orchestrate magnetically. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale courageously. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our holistic metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. What does the term "networks" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms.