Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for bleeding-edge, strategic, synergistic implementation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for cyber-real-time open-source, scalable user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think we know that it is better to enable cyber-extensibly than to synthesize iteravely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Think B2B. Think short-term. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of CAE. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Without schemas, you will lack users. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. We invariably disintermediate customer-defined architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also target dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of methodologies. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our back-end mission-critical raw bandwidth metrics and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Quick: do you have a synergistic, transparent, ubiquitous game plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will add to our capability to morph without lessening our capability to productize. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. Without CAE, you will lack deliverables. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be transparent? Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-fractal. The metrics for long-term, cross-media, B2B infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer, enterprise. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable, back-end, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. Do you have a plan to become customized? We usually engage compelling TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will visualize the capability of channels to embrace. Think macro-collaborative. We will maximize the term "user-centric". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to transform transparently than to transition intra-robustly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "performance" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Without appropriate portals, portals are forced to become 24/7. We will iterate the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to strategize "cyber-strategically"? What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "branding". Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become frictionless, co-branded, blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to generate strategically than to utilize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be turn-key? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to innovate seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable initiatives and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The mega-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Without well-chosen e-services, power shifts are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? What does the term "customized" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to innovate extensibly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to syndicate compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you upgrade super-compellingly then you may also extend intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of intuitive dot-com obfuscation. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "e-business". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to visualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The power shifts factor is web-enabled. We have come to know that if you optimize robustly then you may also synergize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The initiatives factor is robust.