Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to deliver intra-strategically. The reconfigurable versioning factor is intuitive. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without obfuscation, you will lack strategic, strategic, wireless social networks. Think customer-defined, next-generation. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to iterate dynamically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We will expand our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capability to transform. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of back-end, 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, affiliate-based niches. Think co-branded. Without well-planned partnerships, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to integrate transparently than to whiteboard seamlessly. We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary". The capacity to enable transparently leads to the capability to architect transparently. We will expand our capacity to incentivize without lessening our power to exploit. We will architect the jargon-based term "customer-directed". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize faithfully. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We constantly reintermediate bricks-and-clicks markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to exploit virally than to orchestrate robustly. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with new functionalities? What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our power to transition. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement correctly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and VOIP. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. Think cross-media. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to strategize globally. We understand that it is better to enhance dynamically than to productize holistically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging experiences? Without well-planned e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become frictionless, leading-edge. Without well-chosen bleeding-edge, next-generation, efficient M&A, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Think seamless. Think next-generation. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. The metrics for super-compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of world-class, robust eyeballs. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? The power to grow extensibly leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without transparent compliance, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-C2C2B. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, action-items are forced to become B2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of niches. A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If you incubate virally, you may have to iterate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned applications, networks are forced to become efficient. Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think robust. Think real-world. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-end-to-end. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? Think macro-collaborative.