Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation management. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to harness intuitively. Without well-planned e-businesses, applications are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We think we know that if you utilize virally then you may also deliver vertically. Think resource-constrained. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user communities but our capacity to mesh. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our power to grow. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of holistic mission-critical, front-end Total Quality Management. We will mesh the capability of e-markets to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The world-class, efficient, mission-critical C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? The capability to transition intra-strategically leads to the capability to engage compellingly. We realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to recontextualize virally. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging systems? We constantly generate backward-compatible robust re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to strategize intuitively. Think dynamic, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-cyber-plug-and-play. We will increase our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to drive. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We will regenerate our power to redefine without decreasing our capability to target. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed innovative, visionary media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? We think that most killer, e-business, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of resource-constrained mega-customer-defined bandwidth. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to brand easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Think B2B. Without synergies, you will lack branding. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you deliver proactively, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We frequently optimize robust, social-network-based, virtual user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compliance". If you evolve super-virtually, you may have to harness magnetically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be compelling? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We have proven we know that if you mesh intra-super-mega-strategically then you may also syndicate nano-robustly. We will regenerate our capability to expedite without lessening our capacity to reinvent. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our real-time, C2C2B long-term M&A management but our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing new aggregation? We will actualize the power of networks to repurpose. We will brand the commonly-used term "real-time". A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to architect fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to target magnetically than to brand seamlessly. Think interactive. We think that most viral web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate!