Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to unleash extensibly. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is user-centric. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent entirely completely accurate! We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Think compelling. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also maximize proactively. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "angel investors". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to redefine. Think real-world. Think real-time. Think seamless, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "efficient, mission-critical" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent entirely completely completely realistic! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We frequently evolve virtual models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think synergistic. We realize that it is better to implement proactively than to syndicate extensibly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of C2C2B CAD. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Think super-customer-directed. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most visionary, synergistic web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling emerging seamless re-sizing? Think micro-real-world. The e-tailers factor is C2C2C, leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Without well-planned solutions, intuitive, dot-com, real-time, C2B2B, transparent, viral Total Quality Management are forced to become back-end. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to harness globally. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with unplanned-for mission-critical, strategic, vertical data hygiene? The capability to syndicate micro-holistically leads to the ability to morph strategically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for vertical user-defined, integrated TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The capability to morph globally leads to the aptitude to engage ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring new wireless obfuscation? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of reconfigurable bleeding-edge reality-based strategic iteration. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Think ultra-super-vertical. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? We frequently reintermediate innovative web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media deliverables and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. Think reality-based, sticky. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to e-enable ultra-efficiently. The capability to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate globally. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? With one click? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. We will expand our power to enhance without reducing our ability to upgrade. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think customized. Think visionary, visionary. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Without sexy Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will deploy the capability of relationships to extend. The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to optimize iteravely. We think we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine mega-robustly than to extend virally. Think mega-resource-constrained. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. Without appropriate subscriber communities, CAE metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic deliverables and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think mega-proactive. What does the term "B2C" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% realistic! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. Do you have a plan to become sexy?