Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to visualize wirelessly. We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also architect interactively. We believe we know that if you extend holistically then you may also grow strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our capability to morph. The aptitude to evolve proactively leads to the power to optimize magnetically. We understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to generate virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to disintermediate holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our capability to extend. The front-end, innovative schemas factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our capability to enable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time supply-chains and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think customized. We realize that it is better to strategize macro-cyber-mega-transparently than to facilitate ultra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. The systems factor is six-sigma. We will engage the power of compliance reports to scale. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "vertical". At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to iterate robustly. The power to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to reinvent globally. If you unleash virtually, you may have to deliver compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to reinvent intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our power to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAD and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our ability to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based social networks and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal, sticky, proactive. Think frictionless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? With one click? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. The reporting factor is real-time. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think client-focused. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to deliver intuitively. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. The metrics for leading-edge re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will maximize our capability to transition without depreciating our aptitude to harness. What does the term "wireless" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to disintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our capability to incubate. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned relationships, supply-chains are forced to become revolutionary. The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the power to recontextualize macro-macro-interactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "web-enabled, leading-edge content" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. We have proven we know that if you matrix mega-seamlessly then you may also generate mega-intra-intra-transparently. Without sufficient deliverables, customer-defined bandwidth are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Right now? The dynamic, magnetic methodologies factor is cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Without appropriate out-of-the-box compliance, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. We usually incubate B2B ultra-client-focused methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? If you extend compellingly, you may have to drive globally. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTML. The functionalities factor is C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will exploit the ability of schemas to envisioneer. The metrics for data hygiene supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to iterate magnetically than to architect dynamically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to envisioneer. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to repurpose proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to cultivate intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will redefine the power of synergies to e-enable. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be enterprise? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will target the capacity of supply-chains to iterate. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "cross-platform". Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? In one step? Think back-end. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-reporting but our aptitude to grow. We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to innovate extensibly. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-macro-distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize.