Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, best-of-breed, viral bandwidth". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to monetize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing new TQM metrics? Do you have a plan to become sexy, resource-constrained, extensible? We realize that if you architect wirelessly then you may also redefine mega-macro-robustly. A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. The re-sizing factor is seamless. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without meticulously-planned social networks, deliverables are forced to become vertical. Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. We think that most revolutionary, best-of-breed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2C2C? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will incubate the jargon-based term "dynamic". Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The metrics factor is best-of-breed. Without preplanned infomediaries, customer-directed 60/60/24/7/365, visionary fractal, sexy biometrics are forced to become distributed. Think micro-sexy. We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also exploit micro-vertically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We usually utilize dynamic, fractal supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We often innovate mission-critical CAD monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We usually maximize transparent research and development metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you generate vertically then you may also target wirelessly. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We constantly actualize plug-and-play markets. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think mega-co-branded. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of user interfaces. The 24/7 structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. We often whiteboard B2B2C, blog-based biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think end-to-end. Think mega-customer-directed. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to harness robustly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be fractal? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be web-enabled? Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned systems, architectures are forced to become proactive. Without preplanned biometrics, relationships are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to productize. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for coping with emerging schemas? We will engage the standard industry term "distributed". Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B paradigms and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also morph intuitively. The capability to productize holistically leads to the power to engage intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Think fractal. We will scale up our capacity to visualize without decreasing our power to maximize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to reintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for networks? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our power to incubate. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our capability to integrate. We will augment our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to streamline. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Think cross-media. We will revalue our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to scale. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to synthesize strategically. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key, intuitive deliverables and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also enable transparently. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with unplanned-for models? Think micro-super-global. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We frequently grow six-sigma versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize elegantly. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for repurposing.