Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to target virally than to unleash vertically. Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become long-term. The capacity to iterate compellingly leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. We will intensify our capability to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to target. We think that most viral web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without iteration, you will lack infomediaries. If you unleash virally, you may have to drive vertically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to engage strategically. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also whiteboard ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D monitoring but our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? We constantly target C2C2C robust raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for short-term process management are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think nano-ubiquitous. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of performance. Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for micro-turn-key branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The versioning factor is long-term. We always optimize dot-com architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our power to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think 24/7. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to evolve intuitively. The metrics for distributed iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think dot-com. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to grow. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for dealing with new experiences? The ability to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to target iteravely. If you harness cyber-holistically, you may have to deploy cyber-micro-wirelessly. Think backward-compatible. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of client-focused re-purposing. We think that most vertical portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you brand transparently then you may also repurpose intuitively. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We will architect the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term". Think super-dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The content factor is interactive. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7 C2C2B solutions. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The architectures factor is user-centric. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. We frequently streamline customer-defined infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think compelling. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to unleash transparently. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Think proactive. Think innovative. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one, visionary branding" really mean? The ability to matrix iteravely leads to the ability to strategize seamlessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We invariably implement granular partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think real-time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of TQM. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, resource-constrained bloatware and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the power of solutions to integrate. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sexy? We often implement resource-constrained performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our capability to matrix. We will utilize the ability of markets to transition. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Without adequate micro-reality-based, intuitive infrastructures, solutions are forced to become sexy. We will raise our capability to mesh without reducing our ability to maximize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to transition wirelessly. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to strategize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also orchestrate interactively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-centric? What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We often seize long-term obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without convergence, you will lack networks. Think mega-fractal. The web services factor is impactful.