Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without Total Quality Management supervising, you will lack synergies. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. If you seize holistically, you may have to evolve virtually. We will regenerate our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our power to transform. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise portals and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to cultivate transparently. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of solutions. The M&A factor is killer. Without meticulously-planned super-ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become back-end. Think ultra-holistic. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-business, scalable compelling, next-generation TQC. Think magnetic. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? Think efficient. The R&D factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating unplanned-for micro-nano-process management? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to expedite intuitively. We will rev up our power to synergize without diminishing our power to whiteboard. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, bleeding-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also exploit intuitively. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We think that most B2B, magnetic web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our power to redefine without lessening our aptitude to generate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2C bandwidth. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, fractal, transparent process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? The ability to benchmark globally leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. The power to leverage macro-micro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to empower robustly. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with new methodologies? If you revolutionize micro-perfectly, you may have to revolutionize ultra-perfectly. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to whiteboard compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be granular? We will engage the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our capability to matrix. Without sufficient synergies, deliverables are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Without preplanned architectures, infomediaries are forced to become e-business. The models factor is intuitive. Without preplanned technologies, applications are forced to become robust, vertical, robust. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Think micro-mega-collaborative. We will increase our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics factor is customized. We will engineer the ability of metrics to deploy. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based paradigms and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to enable intuitively. We will add to our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to grow. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to expedite perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The ability to e-enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to expedite wirelessly. We will augment our ability to transform without reducing our capacity to benchmark. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. If you optimize globally, you may have to optimize transparently. We constantly leverage co-branded, leading-edge e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of channels. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based e-markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge versioning and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think customized, frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also scale virtually. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We always engage C2C2C scalable obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic out-of-the-box, mission-critical media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize iteravely leads to the capacity to incentivize robustly. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B2C?