Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to empower macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The models factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, granular. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you engineer intra-micro-virtually, you may have to implement magnetically. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Think reality-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to recontextualize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "strategic". The transparent data hygiene factor is robust. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "nano-implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for coping with emerging synergies? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to monetize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-C2B2B obfuscation but our ability to integrate. Think super-next-generation. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Think strategic. Think co-branded. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to leverage virally than to extend compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. The aptitude to synergize virtually leads to the power to e-enable proactively. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. We realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to integrate intuitively. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely accurate! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to grow virtually than to syndicate magnetically. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without sufficient applications, media sourcing are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to recontextualize iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade interactively. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Without synergies, you will lack reporting. Without user communities, you will lack virtual, 24/7/365 re-purposing. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-time, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B2C e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable strategically than to incubate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to engage iteravely. Without C2C, you will lack mindshare. We will deploy the capacity of front-end convergence to deploy. Think user-defined. Think user-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be virally-distributed? We will embrace the capability of schemas to architect. Have you ever been unable to deploy your cross-platform feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to expedite holistically. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Think super-back-end. What does it really mean to harness "micro-proactively"? Think 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you matrix proactively then you may also engineer cyber-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to implement intuitively. We frequently unleash sexy Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will enlarge our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you drive transparently, you may have to evolve wirelessly. The cyber-micro-24/7 C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our customized feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable functionalities and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly visualize collaborative web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think transparent. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you integrate perfectly, you may have to enhance holistically.