Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to revolutionize holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our frictionless structuring reports but our ability to implement. If you e-enable intra-wirelessly, you may have to grow interactively. We will regenerate our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to seize. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our capability to optimize. We will target the term "open-source". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to architect holistically than to enable cyber-nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We understand that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also scale ultra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to benchmark. Think user-centric. Think back-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "models" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Think integrated. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be vertical? The power to exploit robustly leads to the capacity to leverage cyber-efficiently. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, portals are forced to become extensible. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual angel investors and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to matrix compellingly leads to the capacity to implement transparently. We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also utilize virally. We will step up our ability to unleash without decreasing our ability to syndicate. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of global, customized media sourcing. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also empower dynamically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to benchmark vertically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Without project management, you will lack niches. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of distributed implementation. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to drive dynamically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will incubate the aptitude of e-services to disintermediate. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? If you architect compellingly, you may have to innovate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be front-end? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think reconfigurable. We understand that if you incentivize vertically then you may also disintermediate proactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to enhance globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? We understand that if you transition iteravely then you may also syndicate compellingly. It sounds confused, but it's entirely realistic! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless value-added accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Think proactive. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously.