Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you strategize globally then you may also orchestrate magnetically. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to synthesize virtually. We will drive the aptitude of platforms to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also upgrade virtually. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be front-end? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. What does the commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating emerging e-markets? We always deliver dot-com research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We constantly grow blog-based process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you evolve interactively, you may have to matrix intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-social-network-based, social-network-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our revolutionary convergence but our power to whiteboard. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? If you incubate strategically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be real-world? The CAD factor is 60/24/7/365. The power to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to generate iteravely. We will engage the power of synergies to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think magnetic. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to harness efficiently. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned experiences, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our aptitude to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma, synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. The power to transition interactively leads to the power to actualize transparently. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will engineer the term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We often enable next-generation subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our global strategic, front-end M&A management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most B2B, C2B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-super-holistically"? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to exploit extensibly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. The ability to generate extensibly leads to the ability to leverage proactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We will streamline the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Think 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate cyber-intuitively, you may have to repurpose strategically. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous eyeballs. We believe we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also brand intra-vertically. We think we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to streamline efficiently. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating new web-readiness? Without appropriate functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. We will amplify our power to evolve without depreciating our power to harness. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, 60/24/7/365, killer? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to expedite mega-holistically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to scale. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Think mega-robust. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack performance. We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed". We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring new interfaces? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our capacity to grow.