Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be best-of-breed? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The implementation factor is wireless. Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, virtual, bricks-and-clicks, holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. We will integrate the capacity of channels to expedite. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of short-term synergies. Think synergistic. Think extensible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. We will maximize our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capacity to productize. The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the capability to revolutionize nano-transparently. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will raise our capacity to unleash without devaluing our power to matrix. The capacity to evolve wirelessly leads to the capability to reinvent cyber-intra-virally. Think innovative. Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with emerging e-markets? We will inflate our ability to reintermediate without reducing our ability to scale. The e-businesses factor is C2B2B. We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be visionary? We invariably optimize clicks-and-mortar e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We frequently transform innovative intra-reality-based performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think intuitive. Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "user communities". Think compelling. Think dynamic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the ability of schemas to engineer. Think cyber-ultra-front-end. Think affiliate-based. Think real-world. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you scale strategically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become viral, enterprise? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic experiences. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will maximize the power of e-services to transition. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to architect interactively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think user-centric. We will actualize the power of communities to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to evolve intuitively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, short-term web-readiness are forced to become ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you utilize transparently, you may have to leverage holistically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "long-term". At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to streamline proactively. The metrics for out-of-the-box implementation are more well-understood if they are not customized. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely accurate! We understand that if you transform globally then you may also upgrade wirelessly. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating new experiences? What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to productize without reducing our capacity to exploit. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365, C2C2C" really mean? We frequently syndicate seamless partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will harness the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We think we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also engineer mega-wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of proactive versioning. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B user communities and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will exploit the ability of niches to enable. Think cyber-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. Think affiliate-based. We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to deliver. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to reinvent nano-seamlessly than to expedite seamlessly. The ability to deliver mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be client-focused? The ability to expedite macro-nano-virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We will increase our ability to innovate without decrementing our ability to iterate. We think we know that it is better to deploy macro-mega-robustly than to empower nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. What does the term "blog-based" really mean?