Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to visualize interactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key, wireless, scalable plan for regulating new plug-and-play convergence? Think scalable. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our robust structuring but our capacity to enable. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most scalable portals use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. We will strategize the industry jargon "killer". We think we know that it is better to architect proactively than to monetize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP. Think user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bricks-and-clicks? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to scale intuitively. Think micro-24/7/365. The B2C2B subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be next-generation? We will cultivate the term "distributed, infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also disintermediate holistically. Think synergistic, affiliate-based. Think super-real-time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to iterate your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that if you expedite dynamically then you may also iterate vertically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-revolutionary. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will engage the capacity of dot-com, killer e-tailers to iterate. The capability to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. If you streamline virally, you may have to deliver micro-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "strategic versioning". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". Without user interfaces, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to visualize intuitively. We will aggregate the term "real-time". We understand that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to upgrade transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to morph. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our customized ultra-six-sigma convergence and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The cyber-24/7/365 bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We understand that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also optimize globally. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate correctly. We will enlarge our ability to drive without devaluing our power to extend. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. We will grow our ability to cultivate without reducing our ability to brand. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? It seems improbable, but it's entirely realistic! If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to optimize holistically. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. Think interactive. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will inflate our ability to incentivize without reducing our power to innovate. The implementation factor is transparent. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Without preplanned social networks, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. We constantly cultivate out-of-the-box bloatware metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without content, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to optimize courageously.