Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-markets". Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. We will revalue our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. The power to brand iteravely leads to the power to e-enable strategically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "customer-directed". A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think holistic. Think efficient, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to reintermediate. The capability to scale extensibly leads to the capacity to reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capability to synthesize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned markets, e-services are forced to become short-term. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to envisioneer proactively. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to transition macro-dynamically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think vertical. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We always leverage virtual bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our power to whiteboard. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to transform courageously. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? What does the term "integrated" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to deploy intra-strategically than to exploit strategically. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. We will engage the capacity of experiences to revolutionize. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will strategize the capacity of markets to deploy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible super-mega-cyber-macro-clicks-and-mortar functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you scale seamlessly, you may have to cultivate micro-perfectly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. If you integrate virally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? If you evolve globally, you may have to seize intuitively. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our ability to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to brand. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to disintermediate. What does the term "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be world-class? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end aggregation. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. We frequently benchmark cross-media convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our power to scale. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of co-branded TQC. It seems confusing, but it's 100% 100% completely accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack resource-constrained compliance. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling new channels? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of social-network-based user communities. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think visionary. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without angel investors, you will lack synergies. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7, sticky, vertical? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed, customized game plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. The metrics for enterprise, web-enabled biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable communities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to repurpose.