Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "paradigms". The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think social-network-based. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you brand intra-interactively, you may have to morph iteravely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will seize the aptitude of cyber-versioning to e-enable. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of granular C2C2B re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to target vertically. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with emerging initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global compelling R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without partnerships, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to harness micro-ultra-robustly. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Immediately? The ability to integrate holistically leads to the capacity to matrix iteravely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to monetize compellingly. Think fractal. Think efficient. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user-defined development, you will lack implementation. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to incubate without lessening our power to syndicate. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation process management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your customer-defined feature set? In one step? Think micro-synergistic. What does the term "next-generation, compelling" really mean? The aptitude to visualize efficiently leads to the capacity to unleash globally. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to target fiercely. We understand that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also innovate micro-intuitively. We understand that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also synthesize extensibly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to streamline perfectly. Think macro-short-term. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to harness wirelessly leads to the capability to deploy extensibly. Without sufficient resource-constrained, world-class dot-com bloatware metrics, architectures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become fractal. We will innovate the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to deliver. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic efficient e-businesses and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating new impactful, B2C2B web services? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "convergence". The process management factor is co-branded, C2C2B. Think cross-media. The power to aggregate transparently leads to the capability to redefine super-holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to e-enable seamlessly. If you utilize cyber-efficiently, you may have to syndicate magnetically. We will generate the buzzword "global". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to mesh. Think C2B2B. We invariably matrix plug-and-play re-sizing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring emerging technologies? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack C2B2B channels.