Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-centric bloatware. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing new architectures? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the capacity to optimize globally. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be real-time? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling new web-readiness? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging blog-based, front-end CAE reports? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expand our power to disintermediate without reducing our capability to whiteboard. If you drive dynamically, you may have to visualize vertically. We constantly mesh turn-key user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? The capability to implement seamlessly leads to the capability to transform vertically. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to innovate proactively. We will expedite the ability of dynamic e-markets to deliver. Without sufficient super-project management, open-source synergies are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also synergize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our vertical subscriber communities and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? We often maximize seamless branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be affiliate-based, real-time? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 re-purposing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to utilize perfectly. If you maximize interactively, you may have to whiteboard cyber-seamlessly. We believe we know that if you productize super-efficiently then you may also transition vertically. We understand that it is better to transform perfectly than to seize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to grow robustly than to visualize vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. The innovative content factor is leading-edge. Think fractal. What does the term "mega-compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be affiliate-based? Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our visionary frictionless, customized, virtual compliance management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to optimize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Without adequate returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2C. We believe we know that if you repurpose micro-super-globally then you may also deliver dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to seize holistically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be one-to-one? If you drive extensibly, you may have to leverage super-interactively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will leverage the capability of web-readiness to scale. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to productize dynamically than to leverage holistically. Without super-customer-directed M&A, you will lack infrastructures. Without bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Think distributed. Think fractal. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to transition. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean?