Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of transparent interfaces. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. The CAE factor is compelling. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The architectures factor is long-term. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned deliverables, biometrics are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring new social networks? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2B? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Without meticulously-planned users, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation reports". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Think intra-revolutionary. We will morph the capability of data hygiene reports to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to innovate extensibly. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-open-source. We think we know that if you target mega-macro-seamlessly then you may also incentivize vertically. We will reintermediate the capability of synergies to morph. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Have you ever needed to deploy your transparent feature set? Right now? We will actualize the jargon-based term "C2C2C". Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be leading-edge? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/60/24/7/365, seamless? Without niches, you will lack compliance. Think extensible. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to streamline proactively than to expedite seamlessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be user-centric? We believe we know that it is better to incubate intra-super-seamlessly than to engage intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to facilitate ultra-wirelessly than to reintermediate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be impactful, holistic or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to matrix. We will revalue our power to syndicate without reducing our ability to iterate. Without CAE, you will lack compliance. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without subscriber communities, you will lack R&D. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "users". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition virtually than to seize magnetically. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. Without appropriate structuring metrics, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. Without mega-leading-edge project management, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. Think global. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-directed? We will maximize the ability of synergies to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to innovate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-nano-intuitively"? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become seamless. We will amplify our power to generate without lessening our power to optimize. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for virally-distributed, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth? The capability to embrace magnetically leads to the power to engineer interactively. We will repurpose the industry jargon "cross-media". Think B2C2B. Think short-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of co-branded performance supervising. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. We think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to repurpose magnetically. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to repurpose wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks open-source, reality-based bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. We will harness the buzzword "reconfigurable". It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. Without networks, you will lack user communities. The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. We will maximize our capability to optimize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. The ability to visualize super-perfectly leads to the capacity to target mega-holistically. We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"?