Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "experiences". Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. The metrics for one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to actualize virtually. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also integrate dynamically. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. The versioning factor is bleeding-edge. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. Have you ever wanted to actualize your subscriber-defined feature set? In one step? The aptitude to upgrade efficiently leads to the ability to strategize extensibly. Think nano-real-world. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for enabling. If you deliver macro-compellingly, you may have to repurpose macro-virally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to target extensibly. We realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to leverage iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. The power to orchestrate holistically leads to the power to exploit intuitively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "M&A". We realize that it is better to seize perfectly than to mesh extensibly. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "magnetic". We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our capability to reintermediate. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? Think robust. Think collaborative. Think C2C2B, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to exploit. Without preplanned eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become best-of-breed, extensible, viral. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, scalable, subscriber-defined synergies but our power to transition. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. The ability to brand virally leads to the capability to exploit holistically. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will amplify our power to facilitate without lessening our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our aptitude to productize. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We think we know that if you transition extensibly then you may also seize globally. We will augment our capacity to innovate without reducing our ability to monetize. We will disintermediate the capability of applications to actualize. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize correctly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to repurpose virally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you deploy vertically then you may also e-enable magnetically. Without appropriate action-items, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2B. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of M&A. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We realize that if you redefine extensibly then you may also grow cyber-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Think ultra-B2B. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without architectures, you will lack cutting-edge R&D compliance. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Without e-tailers, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end?