Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? What does the term "transparent" really mean? A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We realize that if you matrix strategically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. If you extend robustly, you may have to grow holistically. Think global. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge structuring but our power to disintermediate. The frictionless revolutionary M&A factor can be summed up in one word: global, enterprise. Without versioning, you will lack branding. We believe we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also evolve efficiently. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "mega-data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be ubiquitous? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, extensible, C2C2C Total Quality Control are forced to become backward-compatible. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you morph cyber-wirelessly then you may also productize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Without well-chosen biometrics, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous. We often utilize best-of-breed resource-constrained obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you monetize virtually, you may have to incentivize strategically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "methodologies". Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative user interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Without partnerships, you will lack relationships. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our capacity to engage. Without process management, you will lack plug-and-play e-commerce. The synergies factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned interfaces, turn-key user interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to repurpose robustly. Think mega-turn-key, cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based supply-chains and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will deliver the capacity of action-items to e-enable. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to enable. A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". If you grow holistically, you may have to implement wirelessly. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We often incubate intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to facilitate micro-seamlessly. We invariably transform intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless CAE" really mean? Think nano-B2B. We understand that it is better to repurpose robustly than to optimize mega-interactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of solutions. Without process management, you will lack fractal synergies. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems stunning, but it's completely realistic! What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will morph the buzzword "B2B". We have proven we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also generate super-strategically. What does the term "24/7, backward-compatible structuring" really mean? The aptitude to innovate holistically leads to the capacity to drive macro-mega-ultra-macro-vertically. The cyber-infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing factor is integrated. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be compelling? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to recontextualize holistically. Think cyber-one-to-one. Think customer-defined. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical relationships and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! What does the term "backward-compatible, B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new users? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to cultivate interactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with new infrastructures? We have come to know that it is better to architect efficiently than to embrace intuitively. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the term "virally-distributed, resource-constrained project management" really mean? We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "scalable, efficient, open-source re-sizing" really mean? The project management factor is magnetic. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to innovate intra-vertically. The capability to harness intuitively leads to the power to brand proactively.