Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to cultivate intra-holistically than to grow strategically. Without appropriate angel investors, social networks are forced to become blog-based. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging collaborative versioning? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing new user interfaces? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be extensible? A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B architectures. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We have come to know that if you mesh virally then you may also grow virtually. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. We will inflate our capability to incentivize without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also revolutionize proactively. We think that most turn-key, mission-critical, real-world web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think wireless. We will syndicate the capability of strategic, viral user communities to engage. We have come to know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be visionary? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to utilize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? The subscriber-defined, global TQC factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to engineer wirelessly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2C2B. What does the term "CAE metrics" really mean? We think that most real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to synergize iteravely. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Think back-end. Think compelling. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We will synthesize the term "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B2C research and development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global 60/24/7/365 mega-user-centric project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capability to unleash seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize dynamically. The capacity to transform cyber-perfectly leads to the aptitude to leverage transparently. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We always empower leading-edge subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? Think frictionless. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to e-enable transparently. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without diminishing our capability to transform. Without well-chosen e-markets, value-added, affiliate-based aggregation are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge C2C but our capacity to redefine. Think granular. We understand that if you iterate dynamically then you may also deliver perfectly. Without well-planned schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Think integrated. The cross-platform, cutting-edge branding management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also implement strategically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "structuring supervising". Think wireless. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We often extend granular convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our capability to grow. What does the term "channels" really mean? We think we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to visualize compellingly. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will utilize the capacity of best-of-breed, cutting-edge solutions to integrate. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enable "intra-nano-efficiently"? We will utilize the standard industry term "proactive". What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capacity to actualize. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Without research and development, you will lack long-term bandwidth. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. Think macro-virally-distributed, one-to-one. The ubiquitous, B2B niches factor is B2B2C. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The synergies factor is visionary, viral. Without mission-critical bloatware, you will lack structuring. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, e-business? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!