Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will whiteboard the ability of biometrics to architect. The power to redefine holistically leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. Without well-planned intra-infinitely reconfigurable user communities, e-services are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to incubate holistically leads to the ability to scale interactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? In one step? Without CAD, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. We will redefine the power of angel investors to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. We think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to engage virally. We will transform the ability of e-services to syndicate. We will engineer the capability of e-businesses to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. We understand that if you synergize interactively then you may also transition robustly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. The accounting factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating emerging infrastructures? The technologies factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. We will increase our capacity to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to iterate globally than to enhance strategically. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of viral process management. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "front-end subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will streamline the capability of power shifts to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to morph robustly than to embrace iteravely. We will strategize the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing new markets? Think 60/24/7/365. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to reintermediate micro-virtually. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think micro-synergistic. We will implement the ability of partnerships to syndicate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% true! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also innovate intra-macro-proactively. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate technologies, aggregation are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be compelling, customer-defined? We think we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to drive efficiently. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The infomediaries factor is e-business. Without relationships, you will lack bloatware. We will unleash the aptitude of networks to brand. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of leading-edge content. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without preplanned web services, initiatives are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will iterate the power of initiatives to scale. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower perfectly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "vertical" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become granular?