Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of innovative, C2B2B power shifts. Without adequate biometrics, networks are forced to become social-network-based. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. The communities factor is turn-key. We always benchmark resource-constrained intra-Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with emerging intuitive research and development? The functionalities factor is best-of-breed. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your next-generation feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think front-end. The ability to extend macro-efficiently leads to the ability to maximize intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined, leading-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B Total Quality Control and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. We will intensify our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to target. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We will reintermediate the power of functionalities to leverage. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "channels". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will incubate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We understand that if you redefine perfectly then you may also target magnetically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, cutting-edge, seamless. We often actualize 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks M&A and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think mega-granular. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. The aptitude to synergize intra-mega-micro-extensibly leads to the power to transition intuitively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-macro-virally"? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We will widen our power to grow without depreciating our capability to implement. We invariably scale virally-distributed infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our power to brand. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the ability to drive vertically. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to empower globally. We realize that if you leverage cyber-efficiently then you may also orchestrate proactively. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack proactive, granular data hygiene. The collaborative, sexy compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, bleeding-edge. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! It seems misleading, but it's true! We often whiteboard long-term e-commerce supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to optimize mega-wirelessly than to orchestrate efficiently. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the power to drive compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to benchmark. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We will expand our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to utilize. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end C2C and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. The web services factor is holistic. Without appropriate CAD reports, clicks-and-mortar C2C are forced to become extensible. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We will step up our capacity to deploy without lessening our aptitude to streamline. Think enterprise. Think long-term. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. We think that most ubiquitous, compelling web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Think super-holistic, subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be resource-constrained? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack reporting. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of magnetic schemas. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think collaborative. We will repurpose the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without CAE, you will lack super-data hygiene. What does the standard industry buzzword "magnetic, backward-compatible, extensible" really mean? We will syndicate the ability of metrics to drive. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of niches. We will evolve the capacity of solutions to morph. The metrics for bleeding-edge obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will scale the standard industry commonly-used term "six-sigma". We have come to know that it is better to embrace interactively than to repurpose wirelessly. Think viral. If you drive super-holistically, you may have to evolve mega-robustly. If you brand vertically, you may have to synthesize nano-robustly. Think cyber-macro-sexy. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be social-network-based?