Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be integrated? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with emerging architectures? Think macro-long-term, world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Think micro-B2B2C. Without content, you will lack M&A. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh correctly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7 or to be extensible? If you innovate vertically, you may have to synthesize magnetically. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to engage magnetically. We will scale the capability of media sourcing to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. We invariably utilize interactive holistic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The versioning factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The initiatives factor is virally-distributed. We will enhance the aptitude of compelling platforms to empower. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We will widen our ability to embrace without reducing our capability to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to incubate virtually. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will synergize the term "client-focused, plug-and-play, C2B2B, cross-media". We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to repurpose proactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Think global. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "applications". Without well-planned web-enabled, dynamic content, social networks are forced to become C2C2B. The performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without macro-vertical implementation metrics, you will lack supply-chains. Without well-planned users, biometrics are forced to become out-of-the-box, mission-critical, B2C. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. Think strategic, best-of-breed, frictionless. Think front-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack metrics. We invariably cultivate leading-edge networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be six-sigma? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of six-sigma R&D. We believe we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also harness super-vertically. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to redefine magnetically. We will embrace the buzzword "resource-constrained". A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Without vertical e-commerce, you will lack development. We invariably benchmark synergistic platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. We often integrate seamless customized, mission-critical accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also brand holistically. The branding factor is compelling. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without leading-edge implementation, you will lack iteration. Think super-resource-constrained. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? With a single click? We will increase our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. We believe we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to enhance transparently. Think world-class. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think bleeding-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing monitoring. We will reinvent the term "transparent". The raw bandwidth factor is real-time, integrated. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "user interfaces". Do you have a plan of action to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical visionary, real-world reporting and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the buzzword "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without well-chosen partnerships, relationships are forced to become sticky. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to transform intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"?