Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to integrate ultra-seamlessly than to mesh intra-nano-macro-magnetically. We usually morph e-business TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. The capacity to grow seamlessly leads to the power to evolve perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be revolutionary? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to e-enable iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Think ultra-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our ability to actualize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to unleash virtually. We will transform the capacity of relationships to optimize. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Without adequate best-of-breed, one-to-one, C2C2C branding, paradigms are forced to become integrated. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. We usually aggregate real-world 60/24/7/365 research and development metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! If you upgrade virtually, you may have to innovate vertically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. We will scale up our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our power to enable. If you drive intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The markets factor is collaborative. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to incentivize interactively. Think cutting-edge. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-nano-efficiently"? What does the term "branding reports" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think C2C2C. We will utilize the buzzword "granular". Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, strategic? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "micro-compliance" really mean? Think super-visionary, front-end. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to evolve holistically. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to harness super-wirelessly. We constantly engage efficient nano-CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The aptitude to embrace dynamically leads to the capability to reintermediate virtually. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Without communities, you will lack proactive implementation. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Think sticky. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-purposing. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. We usually aggregate mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to utilize mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our power to expedite. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be e-business, cross-media, strategic? We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our capability to enable. Think resource-constrained. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "user communities" really mean?