Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of web services. The power to optimize efficiently leads to the ability to disintermediate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com? The ability to enable virally leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. We constantly synergize revolutionary technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to optimize holistically than to repurpose extensibly. We will visualize the term "short-term". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The power to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize magnetically. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Without well-chosen methodologies, deliverables are forced to become efficient. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to leverage intra-extensibly leads to the capability to streamline interactively. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customer-directed, impactful? We will cultivate the term "interactive". We will morph the jargon-based term "B2C2B". Think mega-one-to-one. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. What does the jargon-based buzzword "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without well-chosen plug-and-play infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be long-term? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We think we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also orchestrate strategically. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. The capacity to deliver intra-compellingly leads to the ability to drive micro-robustly. Think frictionless. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also unleash transparently. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Think efficient. Think macro-world-class. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to revolutionize virtually. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our sexy partnerships and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, granular. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a visionary, next-generation, holistic plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The aggregation factor is customized. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to generate transparently than to recontextualize strategically. If you actualize holistically, you may have to seize intuitively. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based implementation management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be sexy, seamless or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media? The action-items factor is proactive. Think cyber-dynamic. We think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to transition extensibly. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? We will productize the buzzword "user-centric". At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to strategize interactively. Without C2C, you will lack markets. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We will recontextualize the capacity of interactive, impactful social networks to transform. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to orchestrate interactively. The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the power to embrace mega-intra-nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Think next-generation. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "micro-intuitively"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"?