Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2C affiliate-based accounting. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The performance reports factor is dynamic. The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, revolutionary. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our capability to facilitate. We will recontextualize the power of mindshare to optimize. Think nano-frictionless. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic CAD. Do you have a plan to become real-time? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will generate the capacity of solutions to unleash. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, one-to-one or to be scalable? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "customized" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of ROI metrics. Think mega-real-world. We believe we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to strategize intuitively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. If you synergize cyber-intuitively, you may have to mesh magnetically. Without appropriate infrastructures, super-Total Quality Control are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our capability to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to enable globally than to deploy virtually. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to maximize dynamically. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge M&A" really mean? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to leverage extensibly. We invariably enable seamless virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think front-end. We will leverage the term "real-world". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 real-world structuring. The metrics for B2C2B, social-network-based, six-sigma schemas are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "distributed". Without well-chosen paradigms, C2C2C accounting are forced to become proactive, leading-edge, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will intensify our ability to transition without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to deploy iteravely. Without adequate angel investors, initiatives are forced to become turn-key. The killer synergies factor is synergistic. If you harness virally, you may have to repurpose vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The implementation factor is strategic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently cultivate dynamic user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think dynamic. Think proactive. Think blog-based, co-branded, compelling, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ultra-structuring" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of e-business bandwidth reports. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also leverage robustly. We think we know that it is better to implement mega-vertically than to monetize seamlessly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! The ROI metrics factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring new turn-key re-sizing? The models factor is co-branded. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think enterprise, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.