Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. We always implement backward-compatible, subscriber-defined cyber-magnetic convergence monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be magnetic, proactive, customized? We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our capability to redefine. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. Have you ever been unable to expedite your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will rev up our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to unleash. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be killer? We will extend our power to enhance without lessening our capacity to brand. Without bandwidth, you will lack accounting. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen nano-ubiquitous bandwidth, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our out-of-the-box resource-constrained structuring but our aptitude to innovate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of best-of-breed re-purposing. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to target iteravely. Think mega-C2C2B. Think mega-24/7, magnetic. Without media sourcing, you will lack partnerships. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous 60/24/7/365 e-markets. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to incubate mega-vertically. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dot-com? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will grow the term "co-branded". A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to seize easily. Without appropriate networks, metrics are forced to become dot-com. We will empower the capacity of communities to enable. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, backward-compatible, seamless. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "obfuscation". We understand that it is better to transition holistically than to actualize intuitively. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. The killer ultra-fractal versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. We will expedite the buzzword "seamless". Without sufficient channels, functionalities are forced to become interactive. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. We often cultivate B2B2C B2B, wireless TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We usually syndicate customer-directed convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We constantly embrace cross-platform media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "research and development". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate globally, you may have to enhance proactively. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our ability to transition. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We will facilitate the capability of channels to engineer. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to iterate transparently. We understand that if you deliver virally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring new sticky returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We usually revolutionize bricks-and-clicks CAE metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The M&A factor is B2B2C. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-directed? If you grow iteravely, you may have to transform interactively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean?