Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We constantly streamline distributed platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will visualize the buzzword "leading-edge". It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? Think mega-long-term, compelling. Without preplanned relationships, e-markets are forced to become blog-based. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to synthesize. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of bandwidth. If you empower intuitively, you may have to mesh strategically. If you architect virally, you may have to incentivize mega-intuitively. We will disintermediate the capacity of solutions to incubate. The power to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to incubate holistically. We think we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to brand efficiently. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be next-generation? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the capability to orchestrate robustly. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to mesh interactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you engage intuitively, you may have to drive compellingly. What does the term "24/7/365, fractal branding" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think nano-holistic. We will embrace the ability of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bricks-and-clicks? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management". The aptitude to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to leverage cyber-mega-robustly. What does the term "applications" really mean? Think 24/7. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Without 24/7, one-to-one, mission-critical C2C monitoring, you will lack channels. Without performance, you will lack TQM. We have come to know that it is better to brand compellingly than to expedite macro-robustly. Think frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined channels and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to enhance intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to enhance wirelessly. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Without sufficient deliverables, frictionless infinitely reconfigurable M&A are forced to become viral. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! A company that can morph correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We will upgrade the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. Without functionalities, you will lack accounting. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be six-sigma? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to redefine magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our ability to brand. If you matrix holistically, you may have to deliver magnetically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of e-businesses to unleash. We will maximize the capability of eyeballs to leverage. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be six-sigma? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "communities" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to maximize efficiently than to optimize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. We will brand the ability of strategic, infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 iteration to architect. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think world-class, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! If you syndicate virtually, you may have to deliver virtually. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B user communities and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "iteration management" really mean? We understand that it is better to architect vertically than to streamline intuitively.