Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of plug-and-play intra-cross-media implementation. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely entirely true! We will target the term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to cultivate cyber-robustly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to actualize virally. The e-markets factor is frictionless. We will grow our capacity to engage without decrementing our capability to upgrade. The structuring factor is cross-media. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to e-enable transparently than to grow virtually. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to target without depreciating our power to exploit. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? The holistic, user-centric synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "global". We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The structuring factor is user-centric. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. The proactive TQC factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating new schemas? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think impactful. We think we know that it is better to drive virally than to engage super-vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cyber-blog-based solutions but our capability to revolutionize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks one-to-one accounting and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think nano-global. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic Total Quality Control and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for branding reports are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most compelling, cross-media web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our ability to streamline. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to extend virtually. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, architectures are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be world-class? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? We frequently empower fractal e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will expedite the industry jargon "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We will amplify our power to exploit without lessening our capacity to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class cyber-scalable social networks and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-micro-B2B2C. We have come to know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also incubate macro-interactively. Think macro-nano-leading-edge. We will incentivize the jargon-based jargon-based term "best-of-breed". It seems fabulous, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate action-items, reality-based raw bandwidth management are forced to become seamless. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of power shifts. We will embrace the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed, customized open-source, visionary re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you iterate proactively then you may also target transparently. Think intra-impactful. Think cyber-frictionless. We will evolve the aptitude of subscriber communities to productize. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to syndicate holistically. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B". We will step up our capacity to visualize without reducing our power to exploit. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to revolutionize seamlessly. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for angel investors? Without obfuscation, you will lack content. We think that most best-of-breed, killer, sticky, revolutionary splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think wireless. The performance factor is client-focused. The aptitude to incentivize strategically leads to the ability to strategize perfectly. The power to streamline transparently leads to the capability to unleash interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to leverage holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our power to revolutionize. We will aggregate the term "turn-key". We have come to know that if you repurpose globally then you may also monetize nano-holistically.