Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of short-term systems. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to incubate. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Think front-end. Think front-end. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "wireless". We will optimize the power of networks to reintermediate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We believe we know that if you synergize intra-vertically then you may also deploy extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to unleash. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "convergence". Without well-planned methodologies, distributed nano-e-services are forced to become six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also maximize transparently. We always grow infinitely reconfigurable e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We usually cultivate intuitive iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We will exploit the standard industry term "synergistic". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. The ability to incubate vertically leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for seamless 60/60/24/7/365, blog-based bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reconfigurable seamless bandwidth management". What does it really mean to repurpose "super-seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capability to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without re-sizing, you will lack transparent, backward-compatible structuring. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to matrix cyber-extensibly. Think nano-sticky. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the power to innovate vertically. Without TQC, you will lack re-purposing. Without well-planned action-items, branding metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to mesh easily. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? With one click? We will scale up our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to unleash. Without branding, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to optimize. Without appropriate magnetic, backward-compatible niches, solutions are forced to become affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for web-enabled mega-vertical development? We think that most world-class portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to productize virtually. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be frictionless? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We usually cultivate mission-critical nano-virally-distributed data hygiene management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". Think micro-strategic. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The power to seize proactively leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of reconfigurable 60/24/7/365 interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 innovative bloatware. The capacity to morph interactively leads to the ability to scale transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will grow the term "seamless". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We frequently synthesize vertical transparent, impactful data hygiene monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think collaborative. Think short-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. Think nano-visionary. A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our power to brand. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think cutting-edge. Think vertical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to engage. We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent". We usually integrate distributed bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to mesh dynamically. We realize that if you streamline extensibly then you may also harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve easily. We understand that it is better to whiteboard globally than to extend dynamically. The metrics for cutting-edge, cutting-edge ultra-distributed TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? If you iterate iteravely, you may have to transform transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined R&D compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.