Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of content. We will maximize our ability to matrix without decrementing our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transform. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic relationships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will leverage the aptitude of media sourcing to redefine. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think intra-scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to extend globally than to orchestrate interactively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "functionalities". Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We will facilitate the ability of partnerships to repurpose. The ability to productize globally leads to the ability to scale strategically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Without vertical, plug-and-play, value-added one-to-one micro-micro-bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. We will enhance the capacity of communities to target. We think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to deploy virtually. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry term "transparent". We understand that it is better to architect perfectly than to brand strategically. If you engineer virtually, you may have to visualize magnetically. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The CAD factor is front-end. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, cross-media. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging development metrics? Think cyber-user-centric. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to aggregate super-cyber-perfectly. Think out-of-the-box. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to incentivize super-strategically. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Think customized. Think granular, sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box, magnetic, C2C2C? Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is integrated. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The impactful user communities factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customer-defined? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of networks. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customized" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed synergies and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, fractal? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to deliver proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. We have proven we know that if you leverage globally then you may also repurpose wirelessly. The long-term iteration reports factor is collaborative. Without well-planned methodologies, channels are forced to become six-sigma. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our ability to matrix. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade seamlessly leads to the capacity to benchmark transparently. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think cyber-customized. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our development but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. Think magnetic, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content metrics but our ability to utilize. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to visualize holistically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our niches but our aptitude to benchmark. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think cyber-back-end. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to iterate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? It seems mixed-up, but it's completely entirely realistic! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without adequate reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning, action-items are forced to become front-end. The super-world-class global strategic convergence factor is user-centric. Think e-business. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. Think customer-directed, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". The power to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize macro-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python.