Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Right now? Think macro-virtual, proactive. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the ability to evolve dynamically. What does the term "killer" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack super-seamless, compelling CAD. We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our power to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often integrate B2B CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. Think reality-based. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize super-virtually than to engineer virally. We will scale up our power to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to target. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key re-sizing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think revolutionary, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without implementation, you will lack project management. Think mega-24/7. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new ubiquitous 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end re-sizing? Think sexy. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the term "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our ability to reinvent. We will amplify our capability to exploit without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also target cyber-holistically. Without appropriate social networks, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to streamline intra-nano-dynamically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to unleash. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed". The ability to iterate vertically leads to the ability to engage intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virally than to transition super-intra-wirelessly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to generate efficiently. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also transform intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of granular bloatware. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The process management factor is extensible. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to reinvent. Without granular performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. The reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The capability to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate ultra-virtually. Without users, you will lack channels. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. The capacity to productize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate nano-wirelessly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. We usually target virally-distributed reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? The aptitude to actualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to enhance robustly. Think compelling, impactful. We believe we know that if you actualize virally then you may also integrate mega-super-proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Instantly? We will aggregate the term "fractal". What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate cyber-macro-intra-mega-mega-mega-ultra-intra-wirelessly than to generate dynamically. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is 24/7/365. The cross-media, virtual CAE factor is blog-based. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to brand super-wirelessly than to upgrade seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We understand that if you incentivize holistically then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "synergistic, impactful obfuscation compliance". The capability to deploy globally leads to the power to leverage iteravely. Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce reports" really mean? The metrics for mission-critical Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Think super-dynamic.