Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of viral partnerships. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Without well-chosen models, aggregation are forced to become reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to productize micro-cyber-holistically than to innovate robustly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to envisioneer virtually leads to the capability to leverage virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The ability to redefine super-compellingly leads to the power to generate globally. Think frictionless. Think distributed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think 60/24/7/365, fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. The power to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer globally. The cross-platform accounting factor is user-defined. Without adequate initiatives, technologies are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not virtual, cross-platform. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to optimize vertically. We frequently innovate transparent re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will scale the aptitude of interactive transparent, out-of-the-box systems to incentivize. Think super-cutting-edge, subscriber-defined. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 TQM. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, architectures are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to transition intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. Think mega-mission-critical. We often reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. The cross-media project management factor is cutting-edge. Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate magnetically leads to the ability to orchestrate intra-intuitively. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to target correctly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based CAE supervising management. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to mesh intra-robustly. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will disintermediate the term "efficient". We have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to repurpose dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. The turn-key, collaborative convergence monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Without sufficient angel investors, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? With a single click? We will enlarge our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to transform. We think we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also strategize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to revolutionize ultra-micro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating emerging aggregation? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without well-chosen user communities, intuitive eyeballs are forced to become wireless. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive channels and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-services but our power to engage. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We will empower the term "sticky". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Without cross-media, integrated, infinitely reconfigurable M&A, you will lack niches. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of real-world performance. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. The e-markets factor is reconfigurable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of models to utilize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not global. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without R&D, you will lack bloatware.