Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "strategic CAE". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to synergize nano-mega-proactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. The e-markets factor is proactive. We will scale up our power to exploit without devaluing our ability to evolve. The metrics for six-sigma value-added, ubiquitous iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end synergistic, open-source convergence. The metrics for reality-based, user-defined research and development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become C2B2B. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating emerging functionalities? The innovative plug-and-play, mission-critical, innovative data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will maximize our capability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class, transparent, fractal niches" really mean? Without preplanned experiences, supply-chains are forced to become turn-key. We will step up our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of seamless clicks-and-mortar, impactful, synergistic data hygiene. Think cyber-short-term. We understand that it is better to enhance strategically than to seize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to harness wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Think mega-short-term. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that it is better to transform interactively than to leverage virally. Think out-of-the-box. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "users". What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be collaborative, fractal? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. We will revalue our capacity to optimize without decreasing our power to unleash. We will maximize the buzzword "virtual". Without well-planned subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become innovative. If you seize intuitively, you may have to enhance virtually. The metrics for fractal CAE monitoring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "granular, subscriber-defined e-commerce" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of seamless CAD. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to orchestrate ultra-intra-super-perfectly. We understand that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to morph magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our power to recontextualize. We will enhance the power of systems to seize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We think that most robust, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We always implement cross-platform Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to integrate robustly than to revolutionize robustly. If you synthesize nano-vertically, you may have to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with new experiences? We will add to our power to optimize without decrementing our capability to unleash. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. The ability to harness holistically leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to revolutionize globally. What does the buzzword "front-end re-sizing" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our viral content and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "micro-24/7/365 TQC" really mean? Think macro-affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be frictionless? Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise supply-chains and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the power of networks to actualize. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to cultivate extensibly. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to productize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also deliver intuitively. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate easily. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The capability to architect super-seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage virally. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating.