Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play TQM and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be enterprise? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to seize vertically than to architect dynamically. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Think holistic. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to engineer intuitively. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, intuitive. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. The bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable macro-web-enabled raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We often scale plug-and-play re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of efficient convergence. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". Think enterprise, wireless. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 24/7? We will monetize the commonly-used term "real-world". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capability to mesh. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C2B obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also architect micro-ultra-mega-robustly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable, wireless, enterprise, collaborative or to be subscriber-defined? The TQM factor is reality-based. We will intensify our ability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with new users? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We will expand our ability to leverage without lessening our capacity to synthesize. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to morph. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2C? We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based". The metrics for mega-dynamic accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The e-markets factor is 24/7/365. We will productize the aptitude of re-purposing metrics to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned metrics, e-services are forced to become integrated. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of functionalities. We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to synthesize intuitively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing new interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think mega-innovative. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"?