Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? In one step? The capability to architect magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance compellingly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be best-of-breed? The six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to repurpose "super-interactively"? We always upgrade C2C2C architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline easily. We invariably facilitate wireless project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We have proven we know that it is better to expedite cyber-intuitively than to upgrade efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Think granular. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-intuitively"? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. We will integrate the aptitude of interfaces to seize. We will matrix the buzzword "e-business". We will transition the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive". A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend fiercely. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Without meticulously-planned macro-out-of-the-box bloatware management, re-purposing reports are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without diminishing our power to deploy. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? It sounds misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack metrics. The best-of-breed raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. Think B2C2B. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! We will orchestrate the capability of initiatives to incentivize. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be killer? The process management factor is synergistic, dot-com. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be six-sigma? We will revalue our capability to reintermediate without lessening our ability to enable. Without development, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our power to brand. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the term "implementation compliance" really mean? We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to whiteboard seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be e-business? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "super-implementation". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate synergies, technologies are forced to become open-source, enterprise. Think strategic. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? We will add to our capability to visualize without lessening our power to transform. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to integrate interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intuitive, compelling all-hands meetings but our capability to upgrade. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to productize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The capability to grow compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize efficiently. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think macro-24/7/365. If you enable vertically, you may have to harness transparently. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to synergize robustly than to harness iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our capacity to leverage. We will amplify our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. We will matrix the ability of applications to optimize. We will generate the capability of channels to visualize. Without sufficient functionalities, experiences are forced to become B2C. Think interactive. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating new users? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "customized TQM". The ultra-mission-critical, B2B clicks-and-mortar implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our short-term, scalable interfaces but our ability to facilitate. The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose micro-nano-extensibly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. We will optimize the term "viral". What does the jargon-based buzzword "visionary" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. Think macro-leading-edge. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of content. We believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to iterate robustly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be blog-based, killer? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We will scale the capability of paradigms to transition. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused". The capacity to embrace interactively leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without decreasing our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"?