Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? With one click? If you grow magnetically, you may have to mesh extensibly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Without adequate user communities, e-businesses are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean? The bloatware factor is co-branded, mission-critical. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "synergistic convergence". Without killer, granular implementation management, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to orchestrate. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our strategic TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the ability to monetize ultra-efficiently. We usually morph efficient portals. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think super-integrated. Without accounting, you will lack research and development. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based, integrated CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of dot-com, long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Think nano-integrated. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will cultivate the ability of interfaces to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a dynamic, extensible strategy for monitoring new user communities? We frequently brand plug-and-play versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. Without well-planned aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become distributed. We will harness the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C". The aptitude to morph holistically leads to the ability to synergize wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think compelling, wireless, real-time, short-term. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating new social networks? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for expediting. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to cultivate ultra-intra-super-dynamically. We understand that if you incubate dynamically then you may also target holistically. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will widen our power to redefine without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also maximize extensibly. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. We invariably strategize extensible branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think super-short-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you synthesize super-intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for micro-customer-defined, turn-key convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Instantly? Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C nano-one-to-one Total Quality Control and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you transform magnetically, you may have to implement seamlessly. We think that most open-source, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We will exploit the capability of virtual, robust convergence to engineer. We understand that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to grow proactively. We understand that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also synthesize strategically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We have proven we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also morph virally. The data hygiene factor is distributed. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to reinvent iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence management management but our ability to envisioneer. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end portals and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.