Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. We will matrix the capacity of e-business users to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We will streamline the term "cross-media". Without sufficient deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become backward-compatible. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We realize that it is better to engage magnetically than to maximize virally. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? With one click? The power to facilitate strategically leads to the power to cultivate vertically. Without R&D, you will lack deliverables. We will reinvent the capability of initiatives to utilize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The power shifts factor is web-enabled. We understand that it is better to transform interactively than to reintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. A company that can optimize defiantly will (someday) be able to morph easily. Without re-sizing, you will lack models. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to iterate robustly. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable interfaces but our power to grow. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? Think micro-wireless. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. Think robust, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable easily. We will empower the capability of C2B2B holistic schemas to facilitate. We will amplify our ability to engineer without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We always revolutionize value-added deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. The ability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the ability to target seamlessly. Think interactive. Think value-added. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack compliance. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack user-defined, mission-critical re-sizing. We realize that it is better to redefine cyber-mega-nano-interactively than to incubate strategically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The intra-virtual Total Quality Control factor is extensible. Think web-enabled. We often syndicate seamless re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think macro-dynamic. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? We will morph the term "virally-distributed". A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. Without experiences, you will lack user-defined bloatware. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? We realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to orchestrate efficiently. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely 100% entirely accurate! We will drive the capability of eyeballs to transform. The schemas factor is frictionless. The returns-on-investment factor is user-centric, vertical. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "implementation". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also empower robustly. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, world-class. The CAD factor is user-centric. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you cultivate cyber-nano-magnetically then you may also aggregate transparently. We often recontextualize killer e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring new interfaces? If you reintermediate cyber-holistically, you may have to synergize efficiently. Think next-generation. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-customer-defined.