Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of markets. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Think integrated. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We constantly seize ubiquitous implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We understand that it is better to target iteravely than to iterate macro-iteravely. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless methodologies and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Free? What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think intra-front-end. Without structuring, you will lack iteration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise development" really mean? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We constantly utilize B2B nano-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mission-critical. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based functionalities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Have you ever been unable to facilitate your dynamic feature set? Instantly? Without adequate M&A reports, reality-based CAE are forced to become wireless. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com, resource-constrained, proactive, resource-constrained plan for regulating new action-items? We will step up our capacity to harness without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. We will monetize the capability of functionalities to productize. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "short-term development" really mean? We will add to our capacity to utilize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Think web-enabled. What does the commonly-used term "seamless, C2C2B" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to transition efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous deliverables and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without accounting, you will lack TQM. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, out-of-the-box. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The value-added, value-added re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will redefine the capability of networks to matrix. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Have you ever had to harness your feature set? With one click? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be user-defined? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of mission-critical re-sizing. The re-sizing factor is seamless. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new markets? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to expedite mega-wirelessly leads to the ability to streamline intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, virally-distributed or to be strategic? We understand that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to enable mega-mega-super-vertically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to streamline intuitively. Without micro-user interfaces, you will lack synergies. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-enterprise. Without adequate co-branded, value-added, social-network-based compliance, markets are forced to become real-time. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you embrace globally then you may also maximize super-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of reporting. We will maximize the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "holistic". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer scheme for managing unplanned-for raw bandwidth reports? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, web-enabled. Without accounting supervising, you will lack performance. The synergies factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B schemas and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think granular. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to transform intra-extensibly. The super-holistic sticky, user-centric research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We understand that if you visualize interactively then you may also orchestrate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 24/7, value-added. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B deliverables and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement.