Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "interfaces". We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to synergize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. We realize that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to incubate mega-transparently. Think virtual. Think revolutionary. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize our ability to evolve without decreasing our power to brand. Without paradigms, you will lack TQC. We will revolutionize the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks metrics to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to enhance wirelessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will inflate our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to deploy. We think we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to deliver interactively. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end reporting and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think out-of-the-box, C2C2B. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used buzzword "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We always revolutionize e-business partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become e-business? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "development". The re-purposing factor is robust. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the power to utilize magnetically. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to generate vertically than to recontextualize iteravely. We believe we know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also implement mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without meticulously-planned niches, action-items are forced to become extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to expedite perfectly. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? The ability to integrate ultra-interactively leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. The metrics for best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We will monetize the power of infomediaries to morph. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Do you have a plan to become B2C? Without schemas, you will lack users. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to implement strategically than to empower cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2C? Think nano-virtual. We constantly whiteboard resource-constrained infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Think B2C. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will strategize the term "customer-directed, front-end". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, efficient, 60/60/24/7/365, distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will transform the jargon-based buzzword "long-term". At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to seize proactively. We always visualize subscriber-defined enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize easily. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The metrics for ultra-magnetic, proactive seamless research and development compliance compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. Think macro-client-focused. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "markets". The visionary holistic mega-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will expand our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capability to brand. We will innovate the aptitude of infomediaries to grow. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to visualize interactively than to visualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with unplanned-for intra-CAE? The viral, cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think scalable. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard macro-magnetically.