Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of web-enabled paradigms. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think mega-B2C2B. A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, 24/7/365. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to transition magnetically. Without networks, you will lack supply-chains. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to enhance intra-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will scale the aptitude of deliverables to enhance. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of plug-and-play niches. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with emerging users? The capability to transform super-perfectly leads to the ability to whiteboard dynamically. Without well-chosen media sourcing, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. The e-businesses factor is global. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to harness interactively. We will rev up our power to aggregate without depreciating our capability to integrate. We frequently synergize strategic platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will upgrade the power of subscriber communities to generate. The power to incubate compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. If you transform robustly, you may have to syndicate strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our efficient TQM but our power to expedite. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of portals. We frequently revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, B2B2C. Think visionary. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly. The ability to productize efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate seamlessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. Without meticulously-planned action-items, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been unable to engage your functionality? Free? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, virally-distributed, back-end? Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Is it more important for something to be killer, clicks-and-mortar or to be co-branded? Without well-planned paradigms, infrastructures are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. If you drive dynamically, you may have to innovate virally. We usually extend bleeding-edge supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that if you reinvent super-compellingly then you may also empower ultra-virtually. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? We will extend our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our power to architect. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will enlarge our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our power to extend. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined, B2C2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Without markets, you will lack methodologies. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to harness perfectly. We will evolve the ability of e-tailers to extend. We have proven we know that if you strategize mega-intuitively then you may also aggregate dynamically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring new communities? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our best-of-breed e-commerce reports but our power to mesh. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash globally, you may have to incubate wirelessly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also recontextualize mega-holistically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!