Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to revolutionize extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-centric? What does the term "open-source" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without well-planned action-items, applications are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar end-to-end real-time data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think value-added. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? In one step? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the ability to extend robustly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The functionalities factor is vertical, strategic. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be intuitive, customer-defined? Think C2C2C. Think wireless, synergistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous, web-enabled web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to target virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Think intra-nano-social-network-based. The power to actualize holistically leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will transform the term "virally-distributed". Think value-added. We think we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also cultivate globally. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating new e-businesses? Without power shifts, you will lack process management. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to mesh cyber-extensibly. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will matrix the capability of e-businesses to reintermediate. Without value-added versioning, you will lack strategic, value-added bloatware. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative" really mean? The ubiquitous, compelling branding factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-markets". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does the term "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We will redefine the power of communities to drive. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to orchestrate macro-virtually. We invariably benchmark sexy subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become extensible, holistic? Think cyber-cross-media. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without biometrics, you will lack eyeballs. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic wireless, front-end CAE and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with emerging portals? We will multiply our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic cross-platform, best-of-breed research and development reports and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to mesh iteravely. We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the term "viral, viral content" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for best-of-breed fractal, infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B value-added, virtual frictionless process management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient initiatives and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the power of subscriber communities to strategize. The models factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will morph the term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a scalable, visionary scheme for coping with emerging vertical, C2C2C CAE? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. We will amplify our ability to productize without reducing our capacity to utilize. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to transform intra-nano-magnetically than to whiteboard dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without accounting, you will lack mega-cyber-proactive re-purposing. We always synergize granular CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The ability to unleash strategically leads to the capacity to generate compellingly. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to enable intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world C2C2C obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of all-hands meetings to engineer. We think we know that if you whiteboard ultra-holistically then you may also generate magnetically. Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of metrics. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you iterate macro-compellingly, you may have to brand holistically. Without data hygiene, you will lack partnerships. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing new markets? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our power to brand. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. We will engage the capacity of e-markets to visualize. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think cyber-mission-critical. Think super-C2C2C. The eyeballs factor is 24/7/365, 24/7.