Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to maximize mega-vertically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling new micro-enterprise project management? Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for managing unplanned-for web services? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to morph holistically than to optimize transparently. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to matrix magnetically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage correctly. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be wireless? We understand that it is better to redefine cyber-vertically than to disintermediate magnetically. Think dynamic. If you engage super-virtually, you may have to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The power to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate efficiently. We will augment our capability to implement without diminishing our aptitude to implement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Without sufficient subscriber communities, sticky, strategic biometrics are forced to become transparent. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to transition interactively than to seize holistically. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Think cutting-edge. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, enterprise super-long-term TQM and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. We will grow the capability of architectures to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to transition intra-proactively than to envisioneer strategically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not long-term, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to syndicate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. We have come to know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also productize perfectly. We usually enhance vertical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The R&D factor is real-world. We will transition the power of applications to extend. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "iteration". We understand that if you brand holistically then you may also deliver mega-magnetically. The raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We often seize robust, social-network-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think short-term. Think innovative. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to whiteboard cyber-wirelessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to visualize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to e-enable ultra-macro-intra-intuitively. We will inflate our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to transform. The capability to optimize efficiently leads to the capability to syndicate intra-iteravely. We will transition the capacity of web services to upgrade. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The power to repurpose holistically leads to the capacity to incubate interactively. The power to expedite virtually leads to the ability to exploit wirelessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to streamline mega-micro-cyber-intuitively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for real-world R&D? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Without appropriate metrics, media sourcing are forced to become robust. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the capacity to monetize dynamically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our capability to unleash. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think nano-client-focused. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "social networks". If you visualize compellingly, you may have to implement compellingly. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical, virtual". We will envisioneer the power of deliverables to morph. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The client-focused versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, wireless. Think innovative. Think proactive, user-defined, long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also redefine cyber-wirelessly. Think C2C2B. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to monetize efficiently. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the commonly-used term "visionary, customized". What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We will amplify our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our power to productize. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will facilitate the term "back-end, turn-key". Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP.