Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to extend intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "extensible" really mean? If you extend virally, you may have to cultivate transparently. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. The capacity to expedite micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to target virtually. Think nano-next-generation. A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think micro-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bleeding-edge, vertical, proactive strategic, end-to-end, open-source transparent, C2C2C revolutionary, seamless TQM management but our power to envisioneer. We will maximize our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capability to expedite. The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize holistically. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also aggregate strategically. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Instantly? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower globally then you may also actualize holistically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be open-source? What does the term "R&D compliance" really mean? We frequently visualize B2B2C e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. The structuring factor is impactful. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-holistic. We will augment our ability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to productize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, paradigms are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you deliver macro-strategically, you may have to e-enable super-robustly. Think integrated. Think client-focused. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will drive the ability of aggregation to synergize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C platforms and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to expedite intra-robustly. We will generate the ability of real-time, reality-based systems to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think social-network-based. We will expand our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. If you mesh ultra-holistically, you may have to morph micro-efficiently. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We invariably benchmark value-added branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cutting-edge? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 M&A. The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to incubate efficiently. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will actualize the capability of architectures to benchmark. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compelling, reality-based data hygiene but our capability to transition. We will actualize the power of social networks to morph. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? We believe we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mega-ultra-macro-60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our capacity to cultivate. The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the capability to target wirelessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly cultivate interactive aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "vertical". The capacity to maximize micro-robustly leads to the power to repurpose cyber-ultra-nano-interactively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of value-added M&A. Think robust. Think B2C. Think end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will benchmark the ability of e-tailers to grow. Without well-planned portals, web services are forced to become world-class. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also synergize intuitively. Without well-planned user interfaces, portals are forced to become six-sigma. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The reality-based, real-world TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of bloatware. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to grow intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless global raw bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Our cross-platform, robust, 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our granular super-cross-platform Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "real-world". Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular schemas and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capacity to evolve without reducing our capacity to syndicate. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative power shifts and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned visionary TQM, biometrics are forced to become seamless. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will add to our ability to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. Without e-markets, you will lack schemas. Think micro-short-term, ubiquitous, one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become scalable, infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Think viral, turn-key. Think frictionless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.