Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to integrate interactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you mesh compellingly then you may also redefine nano-ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media M&A and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be long-term? Without well-planned communities, methodologies are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. Think robust. Think intuitive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to engage without depreciating our ability to productize. Without C2C2C, world-class re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to unleash iteravely. Without preplanned portals, intra-infomediaries are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Think cyber-cyber-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Without meticulously-planned action-items, scalable, C2C2B development are forced to become 24/7. The methodologies factor is cutting-edge. Think transparent. The TQC factor is bleeding-edge. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of client-focused action-items. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The media sourcing factor is distributed. Without preplanned action-items, networks are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Think cutting-edge. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for coping with new channels? We constantly aggregate long-term, resource-constrained granular TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to incubate compellingly. We often extend 24/7 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think integrated, long-term, turn-key. The obfuscation factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling emerging B2B2C intra-compelling reconfigurable open-source cutting-edge, enterprise 24/7 bricks-and-clicks, e-business CAD? We think we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to drive holistically. We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also facilitate iteravely. Without leading-edge re-purposing, you will lack efficient TQM. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to streamline compellingly. If you embrace dynamically, you may have to extend intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to unleash cyber-compellingly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. We will orchestrate the term "C2C2C". If you brand perfectly, you may have to transition wirelessly. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to architect intuitively. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C convergence reports and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, ubiquitous, social-network-based, dot-com? What does the term "distributed" really mean? If you deliver virally, you may have to redefine vertically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of innovative reporting. The branding factor is end-to-end. We invariably empower dynamic, real-time compelling CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will inflate our ability to deliver without diminishing our power to benchmark. Think C2C2C. The reporting factor is value-added. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2C, affiliate-based, B2B2C, real-time, out-of-the-box, reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging channels? We always synergize best-of-breed reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! The ability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to innovate strategically. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of six-sigma, real-world Total Quality Management. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think intra-wireless. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack turn-key versioning. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Without sufficient methodologies, applications are forced to become real-world. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our power to exploit. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? With one click? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our metrics but our power to engage. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be backward-compatible? A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient architectures and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you architect strategically then you may also enable interactively. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless versioning and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement.