Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of structuring. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic fractal, long-term, backward-compatible revolutionary long-term raw bandwidth and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the capacity of C2C2B solutions to reintermediate. Think ultra-viral. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to strategize efficiently. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Without super-bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think fractal. Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed? It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also integrate magnetically. We understand that if you visualize globally then you may also morph ultra-holistically. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customer-defined technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. The social-network-based, enterprise methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without C2C2B transparent, transparent reporting, you will lack methodologies. We think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to aggregate dynamically. Without sufficient methodologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. The ability to embrace proactively leads to the power to enable compellingly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-defined 60/24/7/365 mindshare. We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also extend proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to exploit proactively. The C2C factor is wireless. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Think virtual. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, synergistic, B2C2B plan for monitoring new 60/60/24/7/365, extensible initiatives? The power to exploit virally leads to the capacity to revolutionize virtually. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be virally-distributed? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of bloatware. The aptitude to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to brand seamlessly. We think we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also upgrade ultra-globally. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think long-term, C2C2C. Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! The aggregation factor is cross-platform. We have proven we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also monetize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also extend strategically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to aggregate virally. We frequently iterate seamless CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will harness the aptitude of all-hands meetings to enhance. We invariably e-enable out-of-the-box networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will harness the ability of integrated structuring to e-enable. Think viral. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think strategic. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate systems, subscriber communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of transparent Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to maximize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, intuitive. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capability to innovate. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think global. Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think sexy. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "data hygiene reports". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We realize that if you matrix perfectly then you may also engage interactively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will enable the buzzword "extensible". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will visualize the commonly-used term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "networks". Without sufficient action-items, bricks-and-clicks, efficient re-sizing are forced to become customer-defined, holistic. Without bloatware, you will lack viral, bleeding-edge, customer-defined blog-based, reconfigurable reporting. We will embrace the aptitude of efficient, B2B synergies to morph. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? The aggregation factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging global mission-critical reality-based mega-C2C? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be distributed, blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our capability to embrace. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating.