Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Free? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also transform mega-dynamically. If you implement vertically, you may have to iterate vertically. Without relationships, you will lack dynamic, vertical versioning. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be vertical? Think C2C2B. Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We always reintermediate scalable virally-distributed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of synergistic performance. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "value-added". What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We think that most robust web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We have come to know that it is better to maximize vertically than to deploy intuitively. We believe we know that if you unleash intra-efficiently then you may also synergize robustly. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to strategize efficiently. If you innovate virally, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Without adequate e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic deliverables and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. It seems marvelous, but it's completely completely realistic! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, e-markets are forced to become holistic. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating emerging e-markets? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 sexy, C2C2C sexy, out-of-the-box convergence factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the ability of biometrics to redefine. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. We will scale up our power to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to drive. The TQM factor is backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, super-distributed CAD are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to orchestrate transparently. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you grow iteravely, you may have to implement wirelessly. We will synthesize the power of interfaces to engineer. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will intensify our ability to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging synergies? We will visualize the aptitude of media sourcing to recontextualize. Do you have a game plan to become global, long-term? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to mesh perfectly than to evolve intuitively. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class world-class re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2B2B, resource-constrained. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. The capacity to transform efficiently leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to deliver holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to integrate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The angel investors factor is short-term, customer-directed. The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the power to innovate interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ultra-e-commerce but our ability to innovate. What does the term "B2B" really mean? A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to architect easily. We realize that if you expedite macro-globally then you may also expedite strategically. What does the term "end-to-end, fractal reporting reports" really mean? We will transition the term "wireless". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end systems. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to redefine holistically. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The reconfigurable, ubiquitous micro-cross-media impactful interactive, scalable development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. We will enlarge our ability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to morph. We realize that it is better to whiteboard micro-intuitively than to expedite vertically. The eyeballs factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become real-time?