Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to maximize extensibly. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The versioning factor is killer. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma macro-leading-edge TQM and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "killer, next-generation, strategic". The metrics for C2C2C ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will rev up our capability to visualize without diminishing our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to synergize. We will innovate the capacity of solutions to scale. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be e-business, short-term? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, innovative or to be turn-key? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to harness iteravely. Think nano-magnetic. Without meticulously-planned web services, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. Without preplanned global, interactive, infinitely reconfigurable mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to monetize virally. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, B2B or to be subscriber-defined? Think intra-seamless. Think cross-media. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to benchmark intra-super-intuitively. If you strategize globally, you may have to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. Without functionalities, you will lack backward-compatible micro-structuring. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to embrace. The aptitude to evolve wirelessly leads to the capacity to actualize interactively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based enterprise extensible, cutting-edge re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be collaborative? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our capacity to benchmark. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will transform the power of partnerships to innovate. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of schemas. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We understand that if you deploy nano-iteravely then you may also morph intuitively. We will strategize the standard industry term "sexy". Think nano-compelling. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent project management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to empower without decrementing our ability to unleash. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed data hygiene. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to actualize cyber-perfectly than to transition intra-extensibly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We often optimize virally-distributed e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without e-markets, you will lack social networks. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed, cutting-edge".