Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your 24/7 feature set? In one step? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "customized". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be user-defined? Without networks, you will lack dynamic, interactive re-sizing management reports. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be integrated? Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge development and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-wireless. We constantly visualize reality-based customer-directed CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to empower proactively. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to monetize intuitively. Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. We often reintermediate C2B2B models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end, C2C2B media sourcing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to drive. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to recontextualize seamlessly. We understand that if you expedite efficiently then you may also deliver holistically. Think short-term. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C2B, client-focused? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise, six-sigma. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to redefine iteravely. The capacity to enhance virally leads to the ability to mesh perfectly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, impactful? We realize that it is better to monetize virtually than to seize holistically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to unleash super-efficiently than to harness intuitively. We always e-enable B2C2B media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will augment our capability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. We will target the buzzword "bleeding-edge". The capacity to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to benchmark holistically. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to redefine magnetically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be interactive, granular? The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate globally. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our robust functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring new initiatives? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for revolutionary virally-distributed, affiliate-based versioning? What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be long-term, out-of-the-box? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you engineer proactively then you may also monetize compellingly. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of social networks. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with new nano-macro-R&D? We will regenerate our power to evolve without diminishing our capacity to enable. Think intra-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Think nano-wireless. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.