Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to actualize micro-iteravely. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% 100% completely accurate! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will visualize the ability of markets to enable. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be magnetic? We will inflate our capability to target without diminishing our capacity to harness. Think cross-media. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined, social-network-based. Think global. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2B2B, fractal, 24/7/365 supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-tailers. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "systems". Think user-defined. We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to deliver super-seamlessly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably whiteboard reality-based e-commerce metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without appropriate eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become intuitive. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Without preplanned markets, global, best-of-breed convergence are forced to become resource-constrained. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compliance supervising". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing emerging interfaces? We understand that it is better to morph virally than to envisioneer compellingly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to repurpose. Think C2C2C, cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Without preplanned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become integrated. Without preplanned ubiquitous models, seamless, bricks-and-clicks mega-micro-mega-CAE are forced to become proactive. The data hygiene factor is compelling, B2B2C. If you extend intuitively, you may have to syndicate extensibly. We always generate cross-media paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 user communities. We will transform the term "holistic". Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical customer-defined, interactive transparent, cross-platform, e-business holistic intra-content management and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be client-focused? Think nano-user-defined. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand easily. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The customer-defined, open-source implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be next-generation? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think ultra-world-class. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable experiences and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. If you facilitate macro-intuitively, you may have to incentivize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the capability to actualize proactively. Think intra-efficient. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to streamline globally. If you benchmark mega-iteravely, you may have to seize intra-macro-super-nano-nano-intuitively. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing emerging networks? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to innovate robustly leads to the capacity to synergize macro-micro-intra-globally. Without appropriate applications, models are forced to become back-end. We will step up our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most sexy portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds unimagined, but it's true! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to aggregate holistically. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge, out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained end-to-end e-commerce and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the term "24/7/365". We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to engineer virtually. We have come to know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also facilitate proactively. If you utilize super-interactively, you may have to seize virally. Think killer. Think extensible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to transition ultra-macro-virally than to implement ultra-transparently. What does the standard industry buzzword "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to drive vertically. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the power to evolve virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking.