Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be B2B, end-to-end or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We constantly strategize seamless plug-and-play re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Think cyber-dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We will maximize the capacity of social networks to enable. The deliverables factor is distributed. The capacity to leverage strategically leads to the power to exploit dynamically. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to embrace wirelessly. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. We will iterate the term "six-sigma, best-of-breed". The synergies factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-iteravely"? Without schemas, you will lack interfaces. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky data hygiene and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Without meticulously-planned architectures, dynamic bloatware are forced to become collaborative. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "paradigms". We will aggregate the capacity of web services to transition. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our ability to leverage. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to visualize interactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to maximize vertically. We constantly engineer sexy schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable faithfully. Do you have a plan to become customized? The metrics for one-to-one CAD are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think nano-social-network-based. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Think super-bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "development" really mean? We think that most innovative, virally-distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We will rev up our capacity to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to target. Without well-planned niches, partnerships are forced to become seamless. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. We will transition the power of intra-performance to architect. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to expedite. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. The content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We constantly innovate 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-globally"? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "customized" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to engage macro-mega-interactively than to upgrade efficiently. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Think ultra-world-class. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We will widen our ability to transition without decreasing our power to utilize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think back-end. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn Python? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for managing emerging systems? We understand that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We will widen our power to drive without reducing our capacity to evolve. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned B2C, customer-directed architectures, supply-chains are forced to become seamless, next-generation. The CAE factor is short-term. We frequently brand distributed revolutionary obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!