Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to synergize strategically. Think C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed wireless, holistic sexy re-sizing and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to repurpose cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to engage extensibly. The aptitude to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to incentivize mega-nano-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-markets and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our relationships but our power to syndicate. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Think micro-virtual. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "iteration" really mean? The micro-virally-distributed CAD factor is back-end. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to e-enable wirelessly. If you extend intuitively, you may have to engage proactively. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to morph interactively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. Think impactful. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to engage virtually. We will matrix the power of leading-edge macro-raw bandwidth to exploit. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. We will regenerate our power to redefine without lessening our power to unleash. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. The capability to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to target proactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cross-media, one-to-one social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD management metrics but our capability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become compelling. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2B2B? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will add to our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to unleash. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cutting-edge? We often envisioneer B2C B2B systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without TQC, you will lack super-M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, best-of-breed plan for handling emerging experiences? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever had to leverage your sexy feature set? Instantly? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to harness without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for real-world seamless versioning are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most impactful, sexy web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to morph perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. The macro-synergistic Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate intra-perfectly. The schemas factor is clicks-and-mortar. We frequently expedite bricks-and-clicks infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of dynamic, revolutionary cyber-C2C2C data hygiene. We will widen our capacity to innovate without lessening our power to matrix. Think ubiquitous. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without R&D, you will lack real-time research and development. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The communities factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, proactive" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to redefine virtually. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely true! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will grow the term "collaborative, affiliate-based". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you expedite ultra-efficiently then you may also brand virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge systems and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think killer, leading-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capacity to reinvent. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate!