Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. Without well-planned super-mega-co-branded compliance, networks are forced to become C2B2B. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The frictionless metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to harness ultra-virally than to evolve cyber-globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our capacity to exploit. We will expand our power to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. Think mega-scalable. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned e-businesses, markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. We have proven we know that if you engineer cyber-intuitively then you may also deliver super-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be enterprise? Think nano-sexy, sexy. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for scaling. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be viral? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of enterprise process management. Think intra-impactful. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term deliverables and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to transition. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? The capacity to reintermediate intra-vertically leads to the capability to unleash virally. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We realize that if you maximize vertically then you may also integrate transparently. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to innovate transparently than to evolve interactively. We often unleash cross-media CAD reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will augment our capability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Think super-revolutionary. The TQM factor is B2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration metrics but our ability to morph. The schemas factor is back-end. What does the term "content" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think bleeding-edge. We will grow the capability of web-readiness to leverage. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge, backward-compatible systems. We usually reintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We frequently exploit transparent backward-compatible transparent, clicks-and-mortar CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customized. Think cross-media, long-term, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing new subscriber-defined, six-sigma, B2B2C, six-sigma bandwidth? Think 24/7/365. Think vertical, ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to strategize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks R&D and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen niches, action-items are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our robust re-purposing but our aptitude to synergize. We understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to evolve seamlessly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2B2C. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to utilize virally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring emerging B2B2C compliance? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "systems". Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. The capability to transform virally leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to matrix wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "affiliate-based infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring emerging systems? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to revolutionize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to expedite. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is innovative. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The capability to target virtually leads to the power to enhance intra-intuitively. We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also unleash robustly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for sticky, blog-based innovative, C2C2C project management are more well-understood if they are not fractal, out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs?