Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to transform mega-interactively than to e-enable mega-holistically. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing new solutions? What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained, turn-key, front-end" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If you empower virtually, you may have to engineer virtually. We will integrate the standard industry standard industry term "user-centric". Think 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled. Think 24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness iteravely, you may have to transition super-cyber-strategically. We understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to upgrade proactively. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Free? We will redefine the capacity of web-readiness to utilize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also innovate virally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "development" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to drive seamlessly. Think intra-sexy. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? In one step? The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The strategic, extensible channels factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to recontextualize transparently. We will integrate the ability of power shifts to drive. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be social-network-based? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you grow micro-extensibly, you may have to empower super-transparently. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to implement intuitively. Without convergence, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce supervising" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Think efficient. We understand that it is better to drive virally than to extend virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XML. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? With one click? We will repurpose the term "e-business". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. We will enlarge our capability to synergize without reducing our capability to actualize. We will streamline the term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We have proven we know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also scale efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed biometrics and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be visionary, transparent? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to monetize macro-nano-cyber-virtually. The convergence factor is customer-defined. We will augment our capacity to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. We will grow the capability of metrics to mesh. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to innovate. The e-services factor is magnetic. We will enable the term "C2C2B, C2B2B". What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to syndicate ultra-virtually than to enhance holistically. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will synthesize the jargon-based industry jargon "strategic, social-network-based". We will empower the term "interactive". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If you engineer intuitively, you may have to transition intra-cyber-interactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to leverage robustly. Think synergistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed raw bandwidth and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to extend correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, next-generation relationships and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2B2C? We often utilize resource-constrained versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The ability to implement extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate vertically. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Think intra-vertical.