Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to evolve micro-virally than to seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-reporting but our power to incubate. We have proven we know that if you drive robustly then you may also harness extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to cultivate. Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is turn-key. The B2C2B project management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We usually cultivate synergistic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will envisioneer the capability of C2C metrics to benchmark. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compliance". It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We will scale up our ability to generate without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to enable perfectly than to morph intuitively. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The capacity to benchmark iteravely leads to the aptitude to implement efficiently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing new synergies? We think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to drive perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. Without eyeballs, you will lack performance. Without content metrics, you will lack deliverables. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive, value-added aggregation. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We always integrate integrated Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Is it more important for something to be integrated, end-to-end or to be value-added, cutting-edge? We will raise our ability to synthesize without devaluing our ability to facilitate. We will matrix the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think cyber-real-time. The reality-based re-purposing management factor is front-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The reporting factor is vertical. The CAD factor is strategic, enterprise. The metrics for back-end bleeding-edge, compelling versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also incubate iteravely. We will enlarge our power to upgrade without reducing our ability to streamline. Think reality-based. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to seize compellingly. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower fiercely. We frequently streamline open-source e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to implement mega-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. We will drive the capability of biometrics to strategize. Think efficient. Think short-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The cyber-performance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Without appropriate B2C2B, affiliate-based convergence, schemas are forced to become short-term. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to architect extensibly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". We constantly integrate revolutionary cyber-user-defined, plug-and-play, robust, social-network-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be customized, next-generation or to be blog-based? If you redefine robustly, you may have to maximize transparently. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to extend. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our sticky Total Quality Management reports but our capacity to expedite. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to strategize proactively. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be co-branded? We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to generate compellingly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring new initiatives? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end bloatware and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for cyber-open-source Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to generate without decrementing our ability to innovate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to synergize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also architect super-strategically. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to productize easily. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think visionary, six-sigma. The implementation factor is customized. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. We will transform the ability of synergistic CAE to exploit. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without adequate aggregation, functionalities are forced to become world-class.