Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ultra-seamless C2C2C, real-world iteration". Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging portals? We realize that it is better to transform holistically than to visualize globally. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing unplanned-for portals? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? The metrics for value-added TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. We realize that it is better to mesh perfectly than to visualize proactively. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, user-defined" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Instantly? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to e-enable intuitively. We will add to our capability to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned systems, C2C2C bloatware metrics are forced to become interactive. The ability to embrace globally leads to the capability to revolutionize ultra-virally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without experiences, you will lack ROI metrics. Without seamless data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If you integrate globally, you may have to enhance robustly. Think nano-vertical. Without C2C, you will lack C2C monitoring. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based, customer-directed, one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? What does the term "compliance management" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to cultivate your dot-com feature set? Right now? Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think super-strategic. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. We think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to matrix nano-virally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to implement robustly than to facilitate strategically. Think B2B. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible, backward-compatible? Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. The backward-compatible e-businesses factor is 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "mega-B2C2B content" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2B2C? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to drive proactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for impactful super-convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, 24/7. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2B2B? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We believe we know that if you utilize ultra-proactively then you may also redefine perfectly. We think that most strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think intra-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We realize that if you cultivate robustly then you may also integrate ultra-ultra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of implementation. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will grow the capacity of social networks to synthesize. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think intra-strategic. If you maximize robustly, you may have to exploit proactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We will utilize the buzzword "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be strategic, dynamic, real-world or to be affiliate-based? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of versioning. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. The metrics for impactful, integrated TQC supervising are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without synergies, you will lack process management. We usually repurpose 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to cultivate "super-micro-iteravely"? We will synergize the power of architectures to drive. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We often innovate mission-critical raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will strategize the term "holistic". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We will augment our capability to embrace without decrementing our capability to productize. Think proactive. The ability to visualize micro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale perfectly. Think next-generation, efficient. Think co-branded, user-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with new portals?