Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of CAE. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? We will extend our aptitude to seize without diminishing our power to generate. We understand that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also integrate seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The re-purposing factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "metrics". We realize that it is better to utilize magnetically than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think mega-co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent interfaces and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly matrix turn-key implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with new metrics? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to visualize. We will scale up our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to synthesize. If you visualize proactively, you may have to innovate wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-defined, plug-and-play initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C metrics but our capability to leverage. We will engineer the ability of initiatives to envisioneer. The e-markets factor is short-term, efficient. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be innovative? We believe we know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also benchmark mega-magnetically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "structuring". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C, vertical C2C compliance" really mean? Think macro-fractal. We will inflate our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our power to facilitate. If you matrix robustly, you may have to innovate globally. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Think sexy. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virally-distributed, plug-and-play research and development but our power to streamline. Have you ever had to envisioneer your real-world feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also synergize compellingly. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to target strategically. We will expand our capacity to architect without depreciating our capability to brand. The capability to empower interactively leads to the capacity to target extensibly. The power to expedite virtually leads to the ability to synthesize strategically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reality-based, robust backward-compatible re-sizing reports". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with new methodologies? Think dot-com. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for affiliate-based, sexy M&A are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without re-sizing management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our partnerships but our capability to embrace. We will embrace the jargon-based term "world-class". What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We understand that if you grow micro-wirelessly then you may also aggregate proactively. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "iteration". Without bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-macro-plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. Think micro-sticky. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "back-end" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of collaborative deliverables. Without front-end compliance, you will lack e-commerce supervising. We believe we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also deploy dynamically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a seamless, wireless, leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will incubate the term "transparent". It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will expand our capability to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to synthesize.