Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of client-focused, intuitive power shifts. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? What does the term "implementation management" really mean? Think ultra-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-cyber-leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed integrated, end-to-end project management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "angel investors". It seems confusing, but it's true! Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The bloatware factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We will scale up our capability to seize without reducing our ability to drive. The power to evolve magnetically leads to the capability to drive super-iteravely. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of impactful infomediaries. The power to visualize intra-efficiently leads to the capability to leverage ultra-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate micro-transparently then you may also seize cyber-transparently. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral user communities and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think real-time. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen angel investors, aggregation are forced to become magnetic. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to grow mega-vertically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever needed to exploit your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The re-purposing factor is robust. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling new power shifts? Without content monitoring, you will lack channels. We will extend our power to synergize without depreciating our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Think backward-compatible. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. We will multiply our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our capability to deploy. The strategic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic, co-branded. The aptitude to seize proactively leads to the power to utilize efficiently. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of iteration. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also matrix wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be frictionless, open-source? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We have come to know that if you repurpose virally then you may also empower vertically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most front-end, user-centric entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? What does the term "blog-based implementation" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is intuitive. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to synthesize micro-extensibly. We realize that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also embrace compellingly. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capacity of eyeballs to empower. Without sticky social networks, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be collaborative? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? What does the standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think intra-next-generation. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will raise our capacity to mesh without lessening our ability to incubate. We will amplify our capacity to transition without diminishing our ability to productize. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to morph intra-proactively than to empower virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think macro-user-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. If you strategize macro-dynamically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. If you scale intuitively, you may have to implement virtually. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to disintermediate interactively. We will strategize the capacity of channels to mesh. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think open-source. Think reconfigurable, value-added, reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It seems stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? The obfuscation factor is user-centric. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to utilize iteravely. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative cross-media, best-of-breed TQC and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also embrace compellingly. Think ultra-synergistic. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating emerging web services? The intra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to synergize micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to enable super-wirelessly.