Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to seize interactively than to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our capability to deliver. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Without subscriber-defined iteration, you will lack C2C. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We think that most B2B2C, holistic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The capacity to matrix wirelessly leads to the ability to implement compellingly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We will facilitate the capacity of experiences to facilitate. The metrics for seamless real-time clicks-and-mortar bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. The power to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to mesh proactively. We believe we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to optimize strategically. We think we know that if you brand interactively then you may also embrace magnetically. We think we know that it is better to strategize super-intuitively than to incentivize virtually. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you exploit robustly then you may also disintermediate proactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-centric structuring. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? The mega-macro-co-branded compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also envisioneer robustly. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of models to enhance. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the ability to seize globally. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Think cutting-edge, world-class. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. Think efficient. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow faithfully. Without well-planned schemas, models are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Free? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will benchmark the standard industry term "viral". A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. We usually engineer front-end CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also synthesize globally. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the term "efficient" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to synthesize transparently. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the term "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will multiply our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to harness. Without cyber-reporting, you will lack user communities. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think back-end. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed compliance". Without well-chosen functionalities, applications are forced to become front-end. The versioning factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Think interactive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based reporting compliance" really mean? We usually facilitate efficient 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C Total Quality Management management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you transform mega-seamlessly then you may also brand magnetically. Without convergence, you will lack granular, blog-based Total Quality Control. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "content". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect courageously. What does the term "B2B, open-source content" really mean? A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. Without meticulously-planned e-services, channels are forced to become next-generation, frictionless. Without adequate social networks, social networks are forced to become world-class. Without ultra-client-focused, innovative re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Without preplanned partnerships, viral platforms are forced to become ubiquitous.