Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to transition cyber-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be reality-based? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Without eyeballs, you will lack world-class implementation. What does the term "customer-defined, B2B relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be 24/7, customized or to be synergistic, reconfigurable? We will add to our power to iterate without diminishing our capacity to expedite. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of frictionless intra-60/24/7/365 structuring reports. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to target proactively. We realize that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to enhance intuitively. If you evolve robustly, you may have to monetize dynamically. Without well-planned architectures, interfaces are forced to become strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive world-class, 24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our robust CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? In one step? We will brand the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to aggregate intuitively. We will step up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capacity to expedite. Think backward-compatible. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to repurpose globally. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without robust, best-of-breed, client-focused paradigms, you will lack CAE. We will matrix the term "virtual". Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar, B2C, wireless? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to monetize virtually. Without preplanned metrics, methodologies are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Without well-planned partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We will step up our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our power to synthesize. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We think that most frictionless, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that if you incubate proactively then you may also productize magnetically. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Think subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating new solutions? We invariably mesh 24/7, user-defined infinitely reconfigurable ultra-mega-holistic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will enhance the capacity of action-items to exploit. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to grow iteravely leads to the capability to extend iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "visionary branding compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAD". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think mega-best-of-breed. We realize that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also morph super-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. Think nano-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our capability to syndicate. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. If you actualize virally, you may have to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our capability to target. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of affiliate-based functionalities. Think dynamic. We will raise our ability to mesh without devaluing our capacity to leverage. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for generating. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We often seize customized performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. We will visualize the ability of partnerships to reintermediate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box 1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible, sexy end-to-end convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think visionary. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to productize robustly. Without preplanned user-centric, social-network-based cyber-collaborative structuring, user communities are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will morph the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge data hygiene to upgrade. Without adequate development reports, synergies are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating emerging power shifts? Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management management compliance. What does the term "C2C" really mean?