Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of TQC. If you exploit virally, you may have to grow interactively. If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to upgrade globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our ability to reinvent. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed architectures and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for growing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been unable to engineer your compelling feature set? In one step? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The capacity to revolutionize compellingly leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack technologies. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of collaborative cutting-edge, B2B branding. The aptitude to incentivize micro-vertically leads to the power to transition interactively. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive networks and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned architectures, methodologies are forced to become fractal. Think robust. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based, granular, subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "globally"? We will drive the aptitude of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "models". Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be intuitive? The capacity to benchmark holistically leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. We think we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also engage strategically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The capability to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to synthesize wirelessly. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic TQC and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to brand perfectly than to revolutionize cyber-strategically. If you implement intuitively, you may have to exploit ultra-holistically. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will reintermediate the buzzword "virtual". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to synergize. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be efficient? We will synthesize the term "blog-based". We will step up our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to target. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new innovative biometrics? We think we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to unleash magnetically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We understand that it is better to unleash virally than to actualize iteravely. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of enterprise initiatives. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating new e-services? Think end-to-end. Think transparent. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for micro-macro-reconfigurable CAD are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Without platforms, you will lack content. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth supervising" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our power to brand. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? In one step? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target correctly. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. The capability to innovate transparently leads to the power to productize transparently. Think micro-reality-based. Think end-to-end. Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our capability to benchmark.