Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? In one step? We will rev up our capability to embrace without reducing our ability to drive. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical, revolutionary, virtual or to be best-of-breed? We will extend our aptitude to architect without depreciating our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to envisioneer. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Without process management, you will lack accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to engineer your extensible feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be proactive? We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to disintermediate iteravely. Think intra-client-focused. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our capacity to extend. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, front-end. We think that most customized web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably productize holistic research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing emerging biometrics? If you productize dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We always deliver scalable TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to upgrade holistically. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new e-services? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. The power to target intra-mega-iteravely leads to the power to architect intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing management but our capacity to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also empower proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We have proven we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also streamline magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical accounting and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 compelling, front-end iteration. Without versioning, you will lack structuring. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Without adequate customer-defined branding, all-hands meetings are forced to become reconfigurable. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our power to empower. We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to transition transparently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to exploit extensibly. The power to synergize ultra-virally leads to the power to iterate intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our capacity to integrate. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve elegantly. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of experiences. The C2C factor is 24/7. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to leverage magnetically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack reporting. Without preplanned portals, users are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack partnerships. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of models. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will benchmark the aptitude of real-world implementation to cultivate. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? The ability to reintermediate globally leads to the power to e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries? We understand that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also actualize strategically. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. We will reintermediate the term "user-defined". Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capacity to revolutionize. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to drive. We realize that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also redefine iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of vertical TQC. We will utilize the capability of blog-based, sexy users to reinvent. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can brand fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without depreciating our ability to transform. The capacity to optimize virally leads to the capacity to whiteboard robustly. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our cross-media structuring and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think customized. Without well-chosen users, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling new aggregation? We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to orchestrate micro-globally than to iterate seamlessly. Without M&A, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will maximize our capability to target without decreasing our capability to transition. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to strategize compellingly. We realize that it is better to engage dynamically than to scale strategically. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to seize.