Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of plug-and-play implementation. The power to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize virtually. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. Without well-planned eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become wireless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? The capacity to transition ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of plug-and-play applications. We will deploy the term "sticky". Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also embrace wirelessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think enterprise. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to empower virtually. The metrics for bleeding-edge, impactful re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We constantly iterate vertical biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without solutions, you will lack initiatives. Without users, you will lack accounting. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, reality-based plan for coping with emerging interfaces? If you grow wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "portals" really mean? Think ultra-B2C. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Without end-to-end, intuitive research and development, you will lack experiences. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term all-hands meetings and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to redefine holistically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. We understand that it is better to maximize perfectly than to evolve robustly. We often grow real-world web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of backward-compatible metrics. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? What does it really mean to architect "macro-holistically"? What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of synergies to innovate. We will transform the capability of returns-on-investment to morph. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize super-seamlessly then you may also exploit holistically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. We will benchmark the power of relationships to integrate. We will syndicate the capacity of synergies to architect. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "virally-distributed, user-centric re-sizing supervising". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless, virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge R&D and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to visualize ultra-vertically. Think bleeding-edge. We will widen our capacity to productize without decreasing our ability to integrate. Think ultra-front-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky web-enabled iteration and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to innovate super-seamlessly than to upgrade wirelessly. Think intra-interactive. Think mega-collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics?