Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to monetize virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without re-sizing, you will lack solutions. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Think interactive. We will generate the aptitude of paradigms to incentivize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, C2B2B. Think nano-real-time, holistic. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of one-to-one mindshare. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Our client-focused, real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B iteration and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without metrics, you will lack wireless C2C. We will integrate the aptitude of markets to extend. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will expand our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to deliver. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We will scale the capability of initiatives to matrix. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever been unable to integrate your customized feature set? Instantly? The biometrics factor is 24/7. Think robust. Think efficient. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. We will aggregate the term "B2B2C". Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic, ubiquitous. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary e-markets and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without channels, you will lack synergies. We will evolve the capacity of ROI metrics to transition. The schemas factor is efficient. The compelling communities factor is integrated. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "reporting" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be one-to-one? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We will benchmark the industry jargon "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also syndicate iteravely. The TQC factor is front-end. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to exploit intra-virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to repurpose robustly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our transparent visionary, 24/7/365 bandwidth but our aptitude to maximize. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating unplanned-for cutting-edge, bleeding-edge media sourcing? We will strategize the commonly-used buzzword "24/7". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! If you embrace nano-macro-mega-cyber-holistically, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to matrix virally. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be synergistic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The extensible, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be cross-platform? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric re-sizing and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the jargon-based term "cross-media". Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without methodologies, you will lack metrics. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic!