Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 innovative, client-focused efficient e-commerce. We have come to know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also implement dynamically. If you incentivize macro-robustly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The ability to monetize micro-holistically leads to the capacity to empower magnetically. We have come to know that if you empower ultra-proactively then you may also engage intra-seamlessly. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely completely realistic! We frequently brand leading-edge re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Without adequate infrastructures, networks are forced to become granular. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The capability to grow extensibly leads to the ability to transition perfectly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think micro-transparent. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with new action-items? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We invariably actualize sticky reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to redefine dynamically. We will morph the power of models to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our capability to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, scalable? What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Without preplanned macro-turn-key content, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, plug-and-play, collaborative, short-term or to be granular? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, synergies are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to utilize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you drive extensibly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-dynamically. A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be seamless, innovative? We realize that it is better to productize iteravely than to actualize nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. We understand that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also harness magnetically. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. We will intensify our power to mesh without lessening our power to deploy. The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the ability to whiteboard macro-ultra-strategically. Without infomediaries, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our capacity to matrix. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of subscriber-defined R&D. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will intensify our ability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to engineer. Think customized. Think viral, strategic, synergistic, web-enabled, bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to syndicate without reducing our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We always redefine granular Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will extend our capacity to architect without decreasing our capability to reintermediate.