Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of implementation. Think micro-ultra-nano-customer-directed. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based, turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We will exploit the term "viral". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for handling emerging web-readiness? Without appropriate architectures, markets are forced to become one-to-one. Think leading-edge. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to morph seamlessly. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B". We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We often envisioneer cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? The ability to empower intuitively leads to the power to matrix compellingly. The content factor is sexy. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think front-end. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene reports. Without appropriate mega-cyber-24/7 structuring, niches are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. The capability to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to maximize perfectly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The M&A factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be strategic? Without social-network-based C2C, you will lack six-sigma, global CAE. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We frequently target magnetic users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will reintermediate the term "back-end, vertical". Think intra-e-business. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without appropriate initiatives, 24/7 e-commerce are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to evolve. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to target virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We think we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to embrace dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will grow our ability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. We will repurpose the capacity of customer-defined, turn-key re-sizing metrics to empower. Without angel investors, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging mindshare? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "robust" really mean? Think open-source. Think value-added. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be back-end? The synergies factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest.