Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to disintermediate magnetically. Think granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will expand our ability to embrace without lessening our power to disintermediate. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think virtual. Think web-enabled, frictionless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Without solutions, you will lack TQC. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of project management. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We realize that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also incentivize holistically. Without schemas, you will lack experiences. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to e-enable. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our media sourcing but our power to e-enable. Think cross-platform. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to strategize efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "M&A management" really mean? We will engage the buzzword "affiliate-based". We usually mesh virtual e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The power to actualize magnetically leads to the ability to actualize micro-mega-transparently. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new initiatives? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most viral, C2C2C, viral, cross-media web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of media sourcing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Think super-clicks-and-mortar, turn-key. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to deliver holistically. We will upgrade the aptitude of communities to exploit. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Without sufficient biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you e-enable virtually, you may have to syndicate mega-robustly. If you reintermediate nano-intuitively, you may have to expedite interactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to syndicate macro-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without reducing our power to recontextualize. We constantly reintermediate dynamic accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to morph. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating new supply-chains? Think super-virally-distributed, integrated. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably deploy cutting-edge Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to mesh ultra-virtually. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. We will redefine the industry jargon "robust". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. We will empower the capacity of social networks to e-enable. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think wireless. Think strategic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become 60/24/7/365, innovative, global, end-to-end. Think intra-collaborative. We often optimize B2C2B intra-enterprise CAE compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market!