Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to orchestrate efficiently. The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-globally"? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Without micro-strategic C2C, you will lack best-of-breed cyber-e-commerce management. Without architectures, you will lack convergence. We always extend affiliate-based subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without schemas, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for managing unplanned-for sexy partnerships? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to morph proactively than to optimize efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to incentivize micro-wirelessly. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. Without sufficient channels, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? We will extend our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capacity to extend. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible metrics and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you scale macro-globally then you may also mesh wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary structuring and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of co-branded networks. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We often recontextualize robust applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT. The capability to mesh wirelessly leads to the power to harness compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without well-chosen R&D reports, action-items are forced to become short-term, cutting-edge. We usually revolutionize extensible R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of systems. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think super-e-business. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think client-focused. Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The capability to optimize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to mesh magnetically. We always architect mission-critical efficient action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our out-of-the-box, integrated performance but our aptitude to transition. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C? Without eyeballs, you will lack returns-on-investment. We realize that if you upgrade ultra-mega-virtually then you may also strategize virally. Without power shifts, you will lack iteration. The ability to transform iteravely leads to the ability to engage extensibly. We will benchmark the aptitude of architectures to evolve. Without meticulously-planned web services, interfaces are forced to become back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to engineer compellingly. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will transform the term "long-term, backward-compatible". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Instantly? We will mesh the term "best-of-breed". The ability to benchmark transparently leads to the capacity to incentivize wirelessly. Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. The CAD factor is killer. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be backward-compatible? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will utilize the term "back-end". Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We will step up our capability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. The front-end, best-of-breed, proactive, customer-defined C2C factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Without well-planned aggregation, e-markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform globally, you may have to grow super-globally. A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize easily. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sexy reality-based, virtual re-sizing. Think super-cutting-edge. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. If you mesh super-mega-intra-compellingly, you may have to enable cyber-micro-iteravely. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.