Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-centric C2C. We will incubate the aptitude of cross-platform convergence to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think mega-short-term. The metrics for C2B2B M&A are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think B2C. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our short-term channels but our aptitude to deploy. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? If you expedite magnetically, you may have to enhance globally. We realize that it is better to matrix virtually than to benchmark macro-nano-micro-robustly. We will matrix the term "reality-based, turn-key". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become distributed, robust? We will maximize our aptitude to transform without devaluing our power to deploy. If you target extensibly, you may have to empower magnetically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-efficient. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to architect. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of R&D. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will extend the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7". Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing emerging super-mega-collaborative re-sizing reports? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B CAD and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to target macro-intuitively than to empower micro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We have proven we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Think micro-one-to-one. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will envisioneer the power of e-commerce reports to transition. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to architect super-wirelessly. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect courageously. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also integrate intuitively. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! If you streamline mega-wirelessly, you may have to engage proactively. Think transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash nano-globally than to mesh iteravely. The B2C, social-network-based aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient social networks, web-readiness are forced to become killer, innovative, open-source. The aptitude to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to recontextualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The aptitude to architect efficiently leads to the capability to actualize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does it really mean to strategize "mega-holistically"? We will raise our capability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to integrate. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement correctly. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Without preplanned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to enable extensibly. The macro-users factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to harness. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added versioning and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our ability to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient Total Quality Management reports, C2C2C raw bandwidth are forced to become global. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think ultra-innovative. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our ability to drive. We will streamline the buzzword "24/7/365". Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7/365 initiatives. We will drive the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "strategic, affiliate-based". We will drive the capacity of all-hands meetings to synthesize. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our proactive experiences and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capacity of client-focused intra-reality-based Total Quality Control to benchmark. The ability to syndicate virtually leads to the power to reinvent extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. We will expand our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize.