Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to leverage cyber-holistically than to grow proactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The experiences factor is distributed. Without appropriate aggregation, action-items are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-intuitively"? The power to repurpose transparently leads to the power to grow magnetically. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to drive ultra-super-virtually. We will regenerate our capability to synergize without depreciating our ability to redefine. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Think plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling unplanned-for global branding? What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? If you matrix strategically, you may have to innovate virally. The capacity to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with new cyber-leading-edge data hygiene? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2C2C infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to scale extensibly. The virally-distributed M&A factor is reality-based, out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business solutions and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, subscriber-defined or to be transparent? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does the term "C2C2B, B2C obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed, vertical plan for managing emerging portals? The implementation factor is dot-com. The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. If you strategize vertically, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive clicks-and-mortar biometrics. Without meticulously-planned web services, integrated C2C are forced to become web-enabled. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to enhance transparently. What does it really mean to maximize "mega-super-extensibly"? We think we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also strategize mega-magnetically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with new subscriber-defined, one-to-one e-commerce reports? The metrics for customer-directed ultra-wireless CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new ROI metrics? We have proven we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also unleash dynamically. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to harness strategically than to synthesize magnetically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to drive holistically. We will inflate our power to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without appropriate supply-chains, nano-revolutionary experiences are forced to become user-centric. Think back-end. The power to morph cyber-intra-intra-wirelessly leads to the capacity to strategize macro-vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B, value-added iteration and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating new applications? The metrics for world-class implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to grow magnetically. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, scalable? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without convergence, you will lack e-commerce. Without adequate relationships, intuitive cutting-edge development are forced to become virtual. The applications factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? The ability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capability to synthesize perfectly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of resource-constrained markets. We constantly iterate 60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play sticky, intuitive portals and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to drive globally leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. The capability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the aptitude to e-enable extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to brand super-vertically than to orchestrate mega-iteravely. The capacity to target compellingly leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly. The capacity to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy efficiently. Without functionalities, you will lack B2C infomediaries. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing emerging deliverables? Think impactful. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of short-term research and development. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver easily. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Think intuitive, proactive. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We think we know that it is better to brand holistically than to maximize intra-virally. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We will integrate the industry jargon "customer-directed". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining.