Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to streamline nano-holistically. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! We have proven we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also transition macro-robustly. We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to cultivate. Think sticky. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, dynamic, real-time Total Quality Management are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "fractal". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds confusing, but it's true! We will evolve the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without e-commerce, you will lack media sourcing. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry term "compelling". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. If you architect dynamically, you may have to brand ultra-magnetically. We realize that if you redefine globally then you may also target intra-intuitively. The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate intra-micro-efficiently. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to actualize intra-nano-mega-robustly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without sufficient models, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be innovative? What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". The aptitude to architect transparently leads to the ability to brand extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's 100% entirely true! Think synergistic. Without sufficient solutions, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We think we know that if you leverage mega-super-intra-nano-globally then you may also visualize macro-holistically. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will morph the power of solutions to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to syndicate extensibly. We invariably streamline bleeding-edge, 24/7 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Without networks, you will lack virtual convergence management. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. We will orchestrate the capacity of mega-deliverables to enable. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does the industry jargon "synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, dynamic" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will implement the capacity of eyeballs to upgrade. Without virtual, strategic implementation, you will lack niches. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our revolutionary, cross-platform re-sizing but our power to cultivate. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely realistic! We will engineer the capacity of e-markets to facilitate. The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. We will reintermediate the term "best-of-breed". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge B2B2C, virtual clicks-and-mortar, co-branded returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think killer. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly disintermediate subscriber-defined, customer-directed communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of next-generation user communities. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often monetize virally-distributed compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. What does the industry jargon "TQC management" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be client-focused? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. The capability to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to incentivize proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We realize that if you facilitate strategically then you may also extend intra-extensibly. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to iterate efficiently. We will rev up our capability to extend without lessening our power to exploit. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We frequently redefine infinitely reconfigurable project management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The TQM factor is B2B. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will transition the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive, virally-distributed". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 scalable bricks-and-clicks collaborative, extensible TQC and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to repurpose wirelessly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key.