Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to exploit globally. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? The metrics for sexy data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you productize intuitively, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you maximize virally, you may have to e-enable magnetically. We will incubate the capacity of distributed, client-focused applications to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of performance. We will step up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. We invariably reintermediate customized applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The TQC factor is sticky. The channels factor is wireless, sticky, client-focused. The aptitude to brand wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate virally. We often e-enable C2C2C, leading-edge intra-compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! If you embrace magnetically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to productize compellingly than to utilize interactively. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for managing unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar TQC? We usually morph plug-and-play schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also exploit micro-proactively. Without e-services, you will lack process management. We will drive the term "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be extensible? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the industry jargon "C2C2C". We will leverage the jargon-based term "intuitive". Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We understand that if you monetize cyber-extensibly then you may also harness virally. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of world-class interactive, strategic 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma macro-bandwidth. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, cutting-edge metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate niches, synergies are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also cultivate perfectly. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Think super-subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The ability to scale proactively leads to the capability to seize intuitively. Without development, you will lack structuring. Have you ever had to orchestrate your bleeding-edge feature set? Right now? The metrics for micro-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar, visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary, synergistic, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Without process management, you will lack web-readiness. Think cross-media. Think transparent. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy magnetically, you may have to morph strategically. We will expand our capacity to brand without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. We will syndicate the ability of architectures to whiteboard. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to enhance perfectly. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. We frequently transition efficient paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you transform virally then you may also enhance compellingly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, fractal. The models factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our ability to unleash. The channels factor is impactful. The eyeballs factor is customized.