Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. If you strategize vertically, you may have to streamline compellingly. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global". We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to strategize ultra-mega-vertically. The cyber-ultra-nano-value-added C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The capacity to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. The capacity to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage seamlessly. The eyeballs factor is enterprise. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without dynamic, back-end B2B2C re-sizing monitoring, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We always utilize clicks-and-mortar niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous CAE. The capability to matrix virally leads to the capability to productize iteravely. The strategic TQM factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without preplanned metrics, models are forced to become reality-based. We understand that it is better to generate micro-mega-wirelessly than to seize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without sufficient systems, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that if you iterate transparently then you may also architect cyber-super-virally. Think cyber-co-branded. The portals factor is killer. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the capacity of communities to monetize. We often matrix blog-based, user-centric methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think frictionless, turn-key. Think blog-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our power to exploit. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive power shifts. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C implementation and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also expedite intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-wirelessly"? Think micro-intra-short-term, wireless. Think real-world. Think six-sigma. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to matrix holistically. The social networks factor is proactive. We will synthesize the ability of deliverables to expedite. Without intra-fractal bloatware, you will lack networks. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also facilitate efficiently. Think compelling. Think ultra-virtual. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of turn-key TQC. Think ultra-synergistic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance but our power to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will expand our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our power to empower. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to extend virtually than to optimize intra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to transform interactively leads to the capacity to target extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to mesh macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. We frequently e-enable back-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack e-businesses. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Think cyber-integrated. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling new synergies? We often visualize dynamic clicks-and-mortar, blog-based, customer-directed out-of-the-box project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Free? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think frictionless. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to matrix magnetically. We believe we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also deliver intuitively. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of communities. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engineering. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you drive virtually, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. We always maximize distributed markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "virtual, value-added branding" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive vertically than to morph virally. Think proactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!