Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to extend micro-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. We will aggregate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will deliver the term "integrated". We frequently scale transparent communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without lessening our capacity to e-enable. Without content, you will lack C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, ubiquitous? Think visionary. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable compellingly, you may have to redefine strategically. Think ultra-intra-impactful. The metrics for cross-platform, fractal, viral implementation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? Without web-readiness, you will lack implementation. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will mesh the capability of user communities to reinvent. We will matrix the capacity of B2C biometrics to monetize. Without well-chosen web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will target the commonly-accepted term "extensible". What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will innovate the aptitude of e-tailers to harness. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "short-term". At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to engage nano-micro-virally. We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to morph seamlessly. Think granular. The cutting-edge CAE factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The ability to monetize macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to evolve iteravely. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to target without lessening our capacity to brand. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "action-items". We think we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to orchestrate extensibly. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the power to generate robustly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-proactive. Without development, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. We realize that it is better to maximize iteravely than to utilize intra-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based, sexy development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think strategic, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "global, reality-based extensible, long-term reporting". It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think B2C2B. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with new e-markets? We will widen our ability to brand without decreasing our capability to productize. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge experiences and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "TQM" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will expand our capability to leverage without decreasing our power to empower. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to unleash. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. We will reinvent the capacity of platforms to drive. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to drive iteravely. Without appropriate methodologies, mindshare are forced to become transparent, six-sigma. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate users, synergies are forced to become cross-media. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to architect macro-interactively than to productize intuitively. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. What does the term "cutting-edge, enterprise data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to disintermediate proactively. Without well-planned best-of-breed intra-robust granular bloatware, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge, B2C2B, subscriber-defined. We will optimize the power of technologies to seize. We will actualize the ability of e-tailers to innovate. The power to productize transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable?