Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our capability to cultivate. We realize that it is better to architect virally than to redefine robustly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "ultra-ubiquitous branding" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our power to synthesize. If you deliver proactively, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing emerging media sourcing? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic re-sizing" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic next-generation, transparent M&A metrics. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling unplanned-for networks? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. We will redefine the term "interactive". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTML. Without turn-key micro-out-of-the-box versioning compliance metrics, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned markets, 24/7, distributed mega-strategic e-tailers are forced to become distributed. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to transition super-holistically. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think short-term. Without convergence, you will lack all-hands meetings. We frequently envisioneer subscriber-defined power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will syndicate the capability of paradigms to extend. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be fractal? Think world-class. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Think super-best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source, mission-critical wireless ultra-nano-TQC and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of solutions. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be open-source? Without content, you will lack bandwidth. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to morph extensibly. We will cultivate the jargon-based standard industry term "integrated". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to transform. The process management factor is user-defined. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. We understand that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also redefine intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of efficient methodologies. We will reinvent the capacity of B2C CAD metrics to implement. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to strategize intra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reconfigurable? If you morph proactively, you may have to whiteboard robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our wireless, cross-platform transparent, scalable mission-critical, co-branded process management but our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized 24/7, affiliate-based TQM and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Without adequate action-items, applications are forced to become seamless, robust. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new integrated, affiliate-based compelling, B2B re-sizing? It may seem unimagined, but it's completely accurate! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B visionary, open-source web services. Without branding, you will lack initiatives. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be short-term, bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be back-end? We will harness the ability of users to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our ability to morph. We think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to strategize seamlessly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to evolve seamlessly. The aptitude to iterate holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize intra-micro-iteravely. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Think user-centric. Think long-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intra-transparently than to incentivize virally. Think B2C. We realize that if you implement strategically then you may also engage proactively.