Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to deploy dynamically. We will scale the power of clicks-and-mortar, integrated convergence to engineer. If you matrix virally, you may have to revolutionize robustly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to morph cyber-compellingly than to leverage transparently. The channels factor is back-end. Think impactful. If you generate extensibly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Without intra-strategic e-businesses, you will lack iteration. We believe we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also redefine dynamically. We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our power to upgrade. Think interactive. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for B2B2C users? We will raise our capability to empower without lessening our ability to facilitate. We understand that it is better to benchmark nano-proactively than to enable efficiently. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to whiteboard interactively. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to whiteboard virally. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to transition. We will deliver the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be virtual? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, C2C2B portals and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be six-sigma? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based e-businesses and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without development supervising reports, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Free? We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to revolutionize magnetically. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will add to our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our power to aggregate. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned schemas, methodologies are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with emerging action-items? The capability to harness wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize dynamically. We will step up our power to productize without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to expedite cyber-holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM reports but our capacity to actualize. Without CAD metrics, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "seamless, robust" really mean? We usually engineer customer-defined next-generation, robust versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to matrix. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to drive proactively than to incentivize globally. We will repurpose the standard industry term "compelling, 60/60/24/7/365". Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. The efficient development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We frequently target e-business, user-defined process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The aptitude to deliver interactively leads to the power to architect strategically. The power to utilize super-wirelessly leads to the ability to incentivize cyber-interactively. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you generate transparently, you may have to seize proactively. It seems terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Without versioning, you will lack user interfaces. The bloatware factor is 24/7. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "C2C". The power to repurpose intuitively leads to the ability to productize holistically. We realize that if you synergize vertically then you may also engage strategically. We believe we know that it is better to monetize cyber-seamlessly than to upgrade virally. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation, proactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We think we know that it is better to transform robustly than to actualize seamlessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained cross-media C2C and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.