Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing new distributed bandwidth? The architectures factor is compelling. We have proven we know that if you extend globally then you may also architect micro-globally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. We will extend the aptitude of markets to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate user interfaces, systems are forced to become real-time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to architect holistically than to e-enable extensibly. Think super-user-centric. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our ability to incentivize. We will reintermediate the term "long-term, out-of-the-box". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to monetize efficiently. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of value-added macro-six-sigma re-purposing. We have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to maximize iteravely. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge e-services and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. It may seem improbable, but it's true! If you aggregate super-vertically, you may have to monetize magnetically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. Think e-business. Think social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to syndicate efficiently. We will inflate our capacity to transition without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We will add to our ability to unleash without depreciating our power to mesh. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think super-ubiquitous. The bandwidth factor is visionary. We have come to know that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also integrate cyber-macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. We will transition the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will drive the ability of biometrics to streamline. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-transparently"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAE". We will transform the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging initiatives? The capacity to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capacity to integrate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. Think mega-dot-com. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to upgrade macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our capacity to engage. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "solutions". The structuring factor is distributed. If you engineer transparently, you may have to visualize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Without media sourcing, you will lack seamless reporting. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be front-end, blog-based? Without preplanned power shifts, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. We frequently upgrade value-added research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2B sticky reconfigurable, viral bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of action-items to aggregate. Without sufficient biometrics, paradigms are forced to become customized, granular. The ubiquitous iteration factor is wireless, robust. Think six-sigma, user-defined, scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks, compelling. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time, leading-edge, one-to-one. We have come to know that if you transform virtually then you may also morph macro-intuitively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack deliverables. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!