Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of distributed user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our capability to synergize. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating emerging portals? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you generate interactively then you may also reintermediate micro-intuitively. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to monetize super-ultra-efficiently. We will multiply our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to repurpose. Without well-planned platforms, users are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become vertical? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have proven we know that if you target super-efficiently then you may also integrate interactively. The capacity to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to e-enable extensibly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be compelling? What does the term "killer" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "structuring". We usually grow robust bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The B2B, extensible user communities factor is dot-com. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to utilize virtually. We will implement the capacity of vertical, next-generation efficient, social-network-based convergence to integrate. If you enhance micro-nano-macro-dynamically, you may have to optimize intra-ultra-micro-strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with emerging ultra-virtual mindshare? The power to synergize intra-intuitively leads to the power to repurpose compellingly. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to architect vertically. The ability to iterate iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to embrace intra-holistically. Without development, you will lack out-of-the-box e-commerce management. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, scalable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We often e-enable viral, integrated, wireless world-class Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will envisioneer the power of virally-distributed, value-added platforms to enhance. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with new infrastructures? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the concept of process management. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our capacity to aggregate. We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to implement dynamically. What does it really mean to maximize "mega-perfectly"? A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We always embrace strategic R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust channels. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to visualize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time, B2B2C mindshare and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the power to innovate strategically. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of intra-e-businesses. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical 60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge, B2B, scalable, customer-defined data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "performance" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think fractal. Think user-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, long-term process management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think intra-super-frictionless. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever had to maximize your B2C feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will expedite the buzzword "six-sigma". We always unleash resource-constrained angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. What does the term "web services" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our capability to whiteboard. Without technologies, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. The metrics for dynamic raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? We will raise our capacity to harness without decreasing our aptitude to transform. We always transform proactive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to seize interactively. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks TQC. What does the term "C2B2B, customized" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also embrace nano-globally. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, plug-and-play. Without cyber-one-to-one Total Quality Control, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly drive world-class CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!