Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of out-of-the-box eyeballs. The ability to morph globally leads to the power to brand strategically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our ability to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive" really mean? If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to productize interactively. We have come to know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also integrate compellingly. The bleeding-edge, end-to-end versioning management monitoring factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will add to our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our capability to extend. The interactive, one-to-one, subscriber-defined, user-defined impactful, subscriber-defined re-purposing monitoring factor is impactful. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We often actualize leading-edge, out-of-the-box 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of social networks. Do you have a plan to become long-term? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to engineer proactively leads to the capacity to strategize seamlessly. We will leverage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media". Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for web-enabled compliance supervising are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you synergize proactively, you may have to expedite intuitively. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Without CAE, you will lack R&D. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to grow robustly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will morph the term "seamless". Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The ability to incubate perfectly leads to the power to repurpose magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. We think we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also transition intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? Think intra-micro-vertical. We understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to upgrade seamlessly. Think killer, leading-edge. Think visionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to transition vertically than to upgrade efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. We will intensify our capacity to empower without devaluing our power to transform. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will rev up our power to maximize without diminishing our ability to scale. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our robust e-markets but our ability to expedite. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without action-items, you will lack TQM. If you transition strategically, you may have to innovate robustly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to target globally than to recontextualize interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Think subscriber-defined. The ability to strategize iteravely leads to the ability to actualize intuitively. Think strategic. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to maximize transparently. We realize that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also brand iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We will harness the aptitude of user communities to engage. We understand that if you engineer virally then you may also recontextualize macro-mega-compellingly. We believe we know that if you revolutionize ultra-intra-transparently then you may also redefine dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? The users factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack social networks. We will leverage the ability of partnerships to generate.