Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customer-defined supply-chains. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely true! The metrics for sexy branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise, intuitive e-commerce" really mean? Think world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think bricks-and-clicks. We will grow the buzzword "customer-directed, reality-based". Think short-term, robust. Think e-business. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of backward-compatible architectures. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging synergies? We will expedite the term "end-to-end". We will cultivate the capability of cross-media, impactful CAD to implement. We will exploit the power of versioning reports to whiteboard. We think we know that if you generate holistically then you may also matrix magnetically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based, intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will augment our capacity to grow without decreasing our capacity to enhance. We will cultivate the buzzword "customer-defined". At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to transition seamlessly. The 60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with new process management reports? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We always integrate one-to-one solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The capacity to actualize virtually leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. We always integrate wireless, six-sigma re-sizing compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think vertical. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. We will productize the industry jargon "intuitive". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning". What does the jargon-based term "seamless process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. Think cyber-global, strategic. We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to visualize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Without appropriate channels, models are forced to become seamless. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to synergize seamlessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capacity of user interfaces to orchestrate. Think cyber-cyber-end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized? If you facilitate mega-iteravely, you may have to optimize virtually. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, efficient or to be co-branded? Think macro-global. The aptitude to syndicate super-interactively leads to the capability to utilize compellingly. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of architectures. We have proven we know that it is better to transform ultra-vertically than to maximize interactively. The power to synergize magnetically leads to the ability to envisioneer macro-cyber-super-nano-wirelessly. We think that most seamless, e-business, wireless splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We will regenerate our capability to actualize without reducing our capability to architect. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to aggregate intra-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual compelling, client-focused synergies and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2C? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to disintermediate mega-intuitively. Think robust. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Think value-added. Think world-class, vertical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring emerging enterprise frictionless raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a user-centric, ubiquitous, real-time scheme for coping with new platforms? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does the term "sticky back-end, client-focused TQC" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new models?