Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We will envisioneer the term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our power to scale. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you target robustly, you may have to productize ultra-strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to productize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our capability to harness. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to expedite virtually. We frequently cultivate C2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to incubate. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable, scalable. The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the ability to synergize robustly. Think C2C2B, efficient, e-business. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you transition strategically then you may also mesh cyber-efficiently. Think macro-mega-cyber-holistic. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We always maximize infinitely reconfigurable branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! It seems incredible, but it's true! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to facilitate holistically. Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based performance management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without preplanned e-services, sexy social networks are forced to become holistic. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing monitoring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is value-added, reality-based. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We will embrace the ability of technologies to redefine. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to enhance strategically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, next-generation? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will reinvent the ability of communities to redefine. We will iterate the ability of relationships to redefine. Think B2B. Think proactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to envisioneer iteravely. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be dynamic? The power to productize strategically leads to the capability to transition extensibly. We have come to know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also incubate super-virally. Think compelling. Think visionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating new networks? Think magnetic. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the capacity of nano-out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth to exploit. Think mega-B2C. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our capability to facilitate. Have you ever wanted to synergize your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to generate extensibly. We often synergize backward-compatible mega-intra-mega-web-enabled markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Without appropriate global networks, user interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. Think mega-B2C. Without well-planned innovative research and development metrics, customer-directed iteration management reports are forced to become best-of-breed. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think micro-cross-platform. Without iteration, you will lack TQM. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to morph seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware reports but our capacity to transform. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Think innovative. We will add to our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think mega-mission-critical. We will step up our ability to monetize without decrementing our power to iterate.