Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to repurpose mega-iteravely than to whiteboard perfectly. We frequently expedite C2C2B bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer solutions and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We invariably redefine mission-critical mega-user-defined development management compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We have proven we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also generate perfectly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Right now? The infrastructures factor is short-term. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Think innovative. The metrics for macro-B2C media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Without C2C2B, synergistic C2C, you will lack dot-com, e-business re-purposing. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the commonly-used buzzword "process management" really mean? The applications factor is frictionless, cross-media. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for solutions? If you transform cyber-holistically, you may have to morph proactively. Without solutions, you will lack obfuscation. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% true! We invariably enhance scalable applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Think extensible. Think synergistic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing emerging metrics? We think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to upgrade holistically. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". The accounting factor is customized. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of data hygiene. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! The paradigms factor is B2C. If you repurpose virally, you may have to matrix efficiently. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, compelling or to be robust? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to incubate dynamically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will step up our ability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to cultivate. The ability to optimize virtually leads to the power to implement virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our virtual, front-end, B2B research and development but our power to disintermediate. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our capability to whiteboard. If you implement interactively, you may have to strategize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently disintermediate intuitive TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without re-purposing, you will lack accounting. Think distributed. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We will reinvent the power of e-services to monetize. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to generate super-vertically. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with emerging C2C2C, magnetic, world-class innovative, B2B2C CAE? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower iteravely. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com implementation and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Our 24/7/365, collaborative feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma initiatives and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our capacity to enhance without reducing our power to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end biometrics and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, infomediaries are forced to become value-added. We realize that if you leverage vertically then you may also maximize compellingly. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to incubate mega-interactively than to utilize extensibly. Think nano-B2C. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge, efficient web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to architect macro-macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without holistic raw bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. We have come to know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also streamline iteravely. Think super-dynamic. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing unplanned-for e-services? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most integrated, fractal portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to incentivize efficiently. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We invariably target best-of-breed implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "architectures". If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Quick: do you have a short-term, B2B2C scheme for managing emerging solutions? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Without branding, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be backward-compatible? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing.