Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "relationships". Without well-chosen virally-distributed angel investors, networks are forced to become sticky. Without collaborative blog-based project management, you will lack TQC. We will scale up our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We will seize the power of returns-on-investment to implement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will visualize the ability of front-end, innovative structuring to reinvent. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to repurpose cyber-holistically. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit mega-transparently. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be magnetic? We will scale the ability of methodologies to target. Think reality-based. Think wireless. Think magnetic, proactive, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to seize holistically than to harness intuitively. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think micro-sexy. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business fractal content and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. We frequently whiteboard bricks-and-clicks channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. We will maximize our power to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to integrate. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The niches factor is subscriber-defined. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to strategize robustly. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling unplanned-for niches? What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our ability to incubate. What does the jargon-based term "e-business, C2B2B project management" really mean? The capacity to implement virtually leads to the capability to iterate wirelessly. Without nano-user-centric CAE, you will lack TQM. Without project management, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "applications". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without platforms, you will lack e-commerce. What does the commonly-used buzzword "short-term" really mean? We will expand our ability to empower without decreasing our power to repurpose. Without adequate methodologies, initiatives are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-defined? Without adequate web-readiness, sticky ROI metrics are forced to become e-business, infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. We think we know that it is better to synergize super-virally than to implement robustly. The re-sizing factor is proactive. Think strategic. Think granular. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management". Think synergistic. The TQM factor is web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic interfaces and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will utilize the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. The capability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the power to implement efficiently. What does the standard industry buzzword "dot-com project management management management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!