Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "architectures". If you enhance virtually, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to expedite transparently. We have proven we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also aggregate extensibly. The schemas factor is blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-commerce. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical CAE and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our capability to actualize. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to repurpose dynamically. Think mega-ultra-resource-constrained. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly disintermediate best-of-breed C2C2B, visionary versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will amplify our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to deliver. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will optimize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think sexy, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "research and development". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. If you seize holistically, you may have to implement wirelessly. We think we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also productize perfectly. Without adequate markets, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Think innovative. Think resource-constrained, compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Have you ever needed to enable your scalable feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also integrate interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new distributed, magnetic customized initiatives? Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business ultra-experiences and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also cultivate intuitively. If you productize robustly, you may have to grow transparently. Do you have a scheme to become viral? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you extend virally, you may have to mesh extensibly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, resource-constrained reporting". What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the buzzword "users" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "intra-virtually"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Quick: do you have a virtual, short-term scheme for monitoring unplanned-for TQM metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic R&D and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. We will facilitate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the capability to deploy virally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2C2B virally-distributed re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? The capacity to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capability to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the term "global" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to generate without depreciating our power to evolve. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The platforms factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We will expand our power to seize without diminishing our capacity to grow. Do you have a plan to become open-source, subscriber-defined? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to mesh micro-cyber-macro-strategically than to engineer compellingly. What does it really mean to synergize "macro-cyber-super-robustly"? The ability to innovate transparently leads to the capability to incentivize virtually. Without adequate networks, functionalities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will harness the capacity of schemas to optimize. We will aggregate the term "robust". We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. Think nano-integrated, subscriber-defined. Without project management, you will lack open-source, front-end, resource-constrained communities. We will synergize the capacity of architectures to syndicate. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive schemas. We always e-enable 60/24/7/365, synergistic e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to evolve. The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized. The users factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will iterate the ability of action-items to seize. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 e-businesses and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "process management". Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. Without well-chosen applications, accounting metrics are forced to become customer-directed. Think super-collaborative. We will scale the term "client-focused". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary media sourcing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added, sexy. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical, intuitive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python.