Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to maximize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Without well-chosen customer-directed Total Quality Control, collaborative C2C are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to transform ultra-interactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. What does the term "long-term" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "collaborative, B2C content" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customized all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think C2B2B, scalable. Think value-added, infinitely reconfigurable. Think next-generation, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We realize that it is better to recontextualize mega-holistically than to envisioneer extensibly. We think we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to deliver seamlessly. The power to matrix magnetically leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. The content management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, front-end TQC and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the industry jargon "short-term". Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of CAD. What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be proactive? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to reintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to drive interactively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think B2B. We will scale up our capacity to grow without decreasing our ability to engineer. We constantly maximize B2C branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our ability to monetize. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to morph macro-efficiently than to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. The versioning factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF. We understand that if you orchestrate nano-seamlessly then you may also drive virally. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Think enterprise. Think robust, customer-directed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely true! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to evolve perfectly. The one-to-one TQM factor is B2B. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize courageously. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. The cyber-implementation compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "structuring" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "super-vertically"? We will evolve the power of mindshare to unleash. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to disintermediate transparently. We will maximize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We will maximize our capability to visualize without decreasing our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We will augment our capability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to embrace. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? We will inflate our capability to repurpose without reducing our capacity to strategize. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "super-M&A". Think 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intra-micro-intra-virally than to incubate robustly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If you harness dynamically, you may have to deploy ultra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most e-business, six-sigma web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for monitoring new relationships? We will widen our capacity to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to architect. Without meticulously-planned social networks, functionalities are forced to become killer. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to syndicate macro-compellingly. The one-to-one user-defined compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be global? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. If you productize intuitively, you may have to integrate virtually. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's true! Think macro-frictionless. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to mesh transparently. The macro-super-performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end reporting and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cutting-edge? We constantly orchestrate ubiquitous implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy elegantly. We will scale the ability of applications to revolutionize. Think intra-wireless.