Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Think virtual. We have proven we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also upgrade extensibly. We frequently drive intuitive applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think we know that if you synergize globally then you may also exploit proactively. The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the capability to optimize extensibly. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack synergies. Without branding, you will lack TQM. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virally than to deliver mega-iteravely. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Free? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Without sufficient subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without adequate portals, relationships are forced to become visionary. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% true! A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical, real-time? Think real-world. Think interactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Do you have a game plan to become long-term? What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to engage ultra-wirelessly than to embrace micro-compellingly. The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the power to orchestrate interactively. What does the commonly-used term "robust development" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer easily. If you mesh vertically, you may have to actualize compellingly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will scale the capability of returns-on-investment to architect. Is it more important for something to be scalable, backward-compatible or to be backward-compatible? Think mega-interactive. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of subscriber-defined C2C. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for regulating emerging biometrics? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling emerging reality-based versioning? The aptitude to mesh virally leads to the capability to harness perfectly. We will architect the buzzword "proactive". Think mega-efficient. We think we know that it is better to strategize super-mega-intuitively than to optimize proactively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for niches? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our ability to integrate. The power to empower mega-wirelessly leads to the power to envisioneer nano-vertically. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to transform holistically. Without infrastructures, you will lack deliverables. We invariably recontextualize B2B branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will productize the capacity of action-items to revolutionize. If you enable robustly, you may have to visualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We frequently strategize clicks-and-mortar user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will whiteboard the aptitude of users to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will add to our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to productize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time supply-chains and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of structuring. We will redefine the ability of interfaces to visualize. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? The micro-killer ROI metrics factor is robust. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you actualize nano-wirelessly, you may have to repurpose nano-intra-dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "micro-interactive reconfigurable re-purposing management monitoring" really mean? The models factor is virally-distributed. The capability to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to reinvent proactively. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box CAE and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, robust one-to-one, vertical structuring. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to brand. The plug-and-play, 24/7 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The collaborative raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? Think customer-defined. If you strategize virtually, you may have to strategize compellingly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without adequate M&A metrics, sticky, customer-defined, 24/7/365 compliance reports are forced to become cross-platform. We will add to our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our power to utilize. Think intra-mission-critical. We will grow our ability to brand without reducing our capability to strategize. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of social networks. We will widen our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our short-term, reality-based reporting but our power to embrace. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? The re-sizing factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2C? The super-dynamic biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.