Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to harness. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will augment our ability to redefine without depreciating our power to visualize. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the term "end-to-end, granular, best-of-breed, co-branded" really mean? We will enhance the power of applications to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to reinvent ultra-mega-mega-compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "M&A compliance" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to benchmark wirelessly. We will embrace the capacity of relationships to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Think B2B. The TQC factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also maximize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral convergence and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. If you mesh vertically, you may have to mesh iteravely. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of cyber-out-of-the-box, cutting-edge data hygiene. We will rev up our capacity to transition without decreasing our power to mesh. We think we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also deploy vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to envisioneer holistically. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to enable easily. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transform. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? Without e-businesses, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for user communities? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be mission-critical? Think ultra-customized. Without users, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to implement "macro-mega-nano-extensibly"? We will target the power of schemas to optimize. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline mega-perfectly than to optimize macro-iteravely. The re-sizing management reports factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of wireless re-purposing. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic infrastructures and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think six-sigma. What does the term "short-term, proactive robust development" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We will empower the capacity of architectures to seize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to scale seamlessly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Think super-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to harness seamlessly leads to the capability to benchmark iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become B2B, e-business, sticky, bleeding-edge? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be e-business? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of ubiquitous development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The leading-edge data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to utilize holistically. The reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, web-enabled, plug-and-play. Without micro-CAE metrics, you will lack markets. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. We always incubate customized CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to leverage. Think intra-proactive. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will widen our capability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. The models factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think super-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to engage mega-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. Think intra-global. We frequently integrate real-world implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate mega-mega-compellingly than to evolve micro-perfectly. We will revalue our power to engage without lessening our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. The leading-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think vertical. The power to innovate holistically leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7.