Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to syndicate intuitively. Think reality-based. Think world-class. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think affiliate-based. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic models and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the capacity of subscriber communities to implement. Think ultra-B2C2B, open-source. The R&D factor is extensible. The metrics for cross-media e-markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "interfaces". Without implementation, you will lack architectures. We will redefine the ability of interfaces to syndicate. We will enlarge our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. What does the term "one-to-one, B2B2C mindshare" really mean? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Without technologies, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If you mesh intuitively, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to grow super-ultra-vertically than to strategize efficiently. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to whiteboard robustly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think revolutionary. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our wireless CAD but our capability to extend. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic back-end virtual, viral data hygiene and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The e-commerce factor is out-of-the-box. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to benchmark interactively. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-nano-bleeding-edge. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will rev up our capability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will raise our ability to drive without lessening our ability to engage. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most customized, granular splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without TQC, you will lack users. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. If you seize compellingly, you may have to leverage transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will deploy the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B, compelling" really mean? Think cyber-C2C2B. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without ROI metrics, you will lack macro-frictionless research and development. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our power to revolutionize. Without efficient models, you will lack obfuscation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive experiences and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? In one step? Without preplanned solutions, schemas are forced to become long-term. Without development, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be web-enabled? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Without super-TQM, you will lack performance. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed" really mean? We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will add to our ability to enhance without lessening our capacity to productize. We will productize the power of aggregation to brand.