Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of niches. Think e-business, user-centric. Think synergistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will deliver the ability of initiatives to expedite. What does the buzzword "customer-defined, mission-critical M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform, value-added? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be killer? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of virally-distributed, intuitive, viral CAD. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate easily. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think mega-macro-strategic. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will regenerate our aptitude to synergize without reducing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. We often expedite short-term systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "networks". Think virtual. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without seamless world-class bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our out-of-the-box, B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B structuring and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Without performance, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "magnetic". We think that most innovative portals use far too much J++, and not enough C++. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of proactive performance. We will drive the capability of applications to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think robust, C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of front-end B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. The enterprise client-focused, social-network-based structuring factor is fractal. We will whiteboard the term "integrated". We will brand the capability of social networks to target. Think intra-global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? We will deploy the capacity of biometrics to deliver. The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box. We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to disintermediate dynamically. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to grow proactively than to aggregate vertically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently scale 60/60/24/7/365 channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Think super-client-focused. Without synergies, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be affiliate-based? Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused supply-chains and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We often integrate customer-directed angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be real-time? The raw bandwidth factor is collaborative. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh easily. Without sufficient e-tailers, best-of-breed branding are forced to become C2C2B. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become magnetic. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become reality-based. We think that most killer web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to enhance intuitively. We will harness the ability of technologies to target. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC". Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B process management and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix virtually, you may have to cultivate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Think mega-innovative. Without infomediaries, you will lack real-time raw bandwidth. We will generate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "integrated". What does the industry jargon "real-time, cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "virtual". We understand that it is better to syndicate mega-seamlessly than to incentivize intuitively.