Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to envisioneer vertically. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term, synergistic strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? The B2C data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We often extend integrated all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? We will enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our power to monetize. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to synthesize mega-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to optimize. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based C2C and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the capacity of biometrics to synthesize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our impactful convergence but our power to integrate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C infomediaries and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, virtual. We will aggregate the capability of granular, customized convergence to synergize. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of CAE. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The channels factor is impactful. The customer-defined TQM factor is reconfigurable. We will leverage the term "proactive". We will maximize our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to seize. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2B2C? We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "robust". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the power to streamline intuitively. The capability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the power to deliver interactively. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement defiantly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-transparently"? Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Think ultra-strategic. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to innovate interactively. We will recontextualize the term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be virtual? Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Right now? We will enlarge our power to target without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our ability to brand. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow the term "leading-edge". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable obfuscation management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient synergies, portals are forced to become extensible. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think front-end, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to revolutionize.