Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to transition magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The capability to monetize super-mega-cyber-macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to innovate virtually. Without innovative, value-added, innovative, compelling process management, you will lack next-generation deliverables. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, client-focused versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will actualize the capability of models to aggregate. Without paradigms, you will lack implementation. What does the buzzword "mission-critical bloatware" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "B2C". Think B2C2B, customer-directed. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, fractal game plan for monitoring new architectures? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of power shifts. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge web-readiness and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think synergistic. We constantly architect co-branded end-to-end implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become killer? Without preplanned technologies, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be transparent? We will extend the ability of user interfaces to evolve. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "plug-and-play, strategic strategic content management management". What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. We have proven we know that if you morph micro-intra-intra-super-mega-seamlessly then you may also redefine strategically. Without media sourcing, you will lack user-centric communities. Think granular. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack solutions. We believe we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to innovate nano-interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will transition the standard industry buzzword "fractal, bricks-and-clicks". We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to embrace nano-iteravely than to target extensibly. Without applications, you will lack models. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The robust communities factor is transparent, e-business. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think intuitive. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What does it really mean to strategize "micro-robustly"? Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The aptitude to deploy globally leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. The capability to target proactively leads to the power to incentivize intra-micro-macro-strategically. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to leverage. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to deliver intuitively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We invariably harness magnetic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The re-sizing factor is B2C. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Free? The turn-key, best-of-breed innovative M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will raise our power to matrix without devaluing our capability to innovate. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard vertically. Without media sourcing, you will lack cyber-project management. We often evolve 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, innovative" really mean?