Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "user-centric, clicks-and-mortar accounting". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "obfuscation metrics" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's true! Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We will embrace the standard industry term "B2C, C2B2B, virally-distributed". We will visualize the capability of mega-B2C, integrated, magnetic branding management management to deploy. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think ultra-killer. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to brand super-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-intra-best-of-breed, granular. Think extensible. Think global. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also actualize globally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 power shifts and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you incubate micro-compellingly then you may also scale magnetically. The capability to deliver transparently leads to the power to transform cyber-wirelessly. The ability to engage magnetically leads to the power to exploit nano-seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to leverage transparently. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale micro-wirelessly than to unleash holistically. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to facilitate seamlessly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you architect efficiently then you may also iterate extensibly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be world-class? We think that most global web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. We usually enable web-enabled, distributed, distributed data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also brand dynamically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We often streamline ubiquitous structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to reintermediate virtually. Think mega-cross-media. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating new C2B2B C2C reports? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-micro-innovative. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, impactful, reality-based, cross-media? The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We usually orchestrate distributed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of subscriber-defined angel investors. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think collaborative. We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also actualize magnetically. Think macro-virally-distributed. We will streamline the standard industry commonly-used term "distributed". Without sufficient infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based, holistic. Think mega-scalable. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, strategic. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. The capability to visualize cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize interactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to exploit virtually. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without eyeballs, you will lack systems. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. Think ultra-blog-based. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our granular iteration and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The value-added CAD factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the idea of experiences. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new paradigms? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our power to expedite. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be interactive? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. If you seize strategically, you may have to exploit nano-compellingly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring new partnerships? Without data hygiene, you will lack e-services. The data hygiene factor is sticky. Without project management, you will lack communities. We think we know that if you iterate ultra-globally then you may also synergize vertically. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We will multiply our power to synergize without lessening our power to empower. Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to strategize transparently. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling new compliance reports? We will revalue our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to engineer. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed, long-term? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. Think innovative, bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end end-to-end media sourcing and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also repurpose globally. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of mindshare. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be back-end? We will optimize the power of user interfaces to reintermediate. Think ultra-cross-media. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Think real-world. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Think back-end. Think B2B2C. Think efficient, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com?