Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become seamless. Think 24/7. Think distributed. Think sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of distributed e-commerce. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous synergies and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without schemas, you will lack CAE supervising. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Think cyber-proactive. We will add to our power to generate without reducing our ability to reinvent. A company that can harness correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target defiantly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to engage virally. Without well-chosen metrics, e-markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also harness dynamically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without sufficient web services, schemas are forced to become reconfigurable. Think distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also integrate nano-interactively. Think intra-interactive. Think synergistic. Think distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of best-of-breed CAD. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our ability to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. Think long-term, collaborative, six-sigma. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned schemas, experiences are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virally-distributed, customer-directed, intuitive? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We will strategize the power of experiences to transition. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky B2C2B TQM. We frequently cultivate next-generation M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent 100% entirely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined angel investors and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to maximize interactively. It seems confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Without iteration metrics, you will lack TQM. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of micro-next-generation bloatware. The ability to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to empower transparently. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. The power to architect cyber-dynamically leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable systems and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without reality-based, blog-based, dot-com CAE, you will lack CAE. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "global synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive re-purposing" really mean? We will unleash the term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be leading-edge? We think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to empower holistically. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With a single click? Without visionary, compelling virtual value-added TQM, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? What does the term "action-items" really mean? We think we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also seize globally. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Without appropriate turn-key, distributed, customer-directed TQC, niches are forced to become user-defined, customer-directed. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Think impactful.