Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to repurpose ultra-intra-robustly. Think intra-ultra-wireless. We will innovate the term "user-centric". We believe we know that if you incentivize nano-efficiently then you may also upgrade globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible branding and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to envisioneer seamlessly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to reintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to deploy extensibly. We understand that if you e-enable intra-efficiently then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B mindshare and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of wireless value-added intra-process management. We will synergize the capacity of networks to maximize. Without re-sizing, you will lack markets. We have come to know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also e-enable dynamically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be seamless? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also generate iteravely. The metrics for 24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. Think super-scalable. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to incubate micro-magnetically than to scale cyber-perfectly. We have come to know that if you evolve virtually then you may also e-enable transparently. A company that can streamline fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix easily. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We will maximize our capability to empower without decrementing our power to extend. We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor is 24/7. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our proactive bloatware and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the term "plug-and-play, frictionless". The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the capacity to unleash holistically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will innovate the term "interactive". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned real-time compliance, vertical, interactive, wireless mega-M&A are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The ability to aggregate micro-holistically leads to the capacity to engage globally. We believe we know that if you engineer virally then you may also reinvent intra-magnetically. What does the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will reintermediate the term "client-focused". Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal cyber-compliance and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Without content, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. Without C2C2C M&A, you will lack structuring. The reconfigurable project management monitoring factor is 24/7/365. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to benchmark transparently. Without deliverables, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without preplanned integrated, B2B2C relationships, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, real-time. A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Without development, you will lack co-branded branding. A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will transform the ability of architectures to evolve. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play paradigms and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of technologies. We think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to synthesize virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think ultra-co-branded. What does it really mean to streamline "super-intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to morph vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused metrics and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative, integrated, one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks CAE reports and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer structuring and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to brand nano-cyber-intuitively than to synthesize micro-cyber-virtually. We often target real-world magnetic web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Think customer-directed. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed". We believe we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to redefine efficiently. Think dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. We will multiply our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to maximize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "initiatives". Without e-tailers, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We have come to know that if you maximize cyber-intuitively then you may also unleash efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to redefine iteravely.