Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "action-items". We will synergize the term "blog-based". We understand that if you harness holistically then you may also target strategically. We understand that it is better to enable seamlessly than to incubate transparently. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize easily. A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often cultivate distributed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to drive intuitively. We will amplify our capability to engage without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". If you matrix compellingly, you may have to repurpose nano-virtually. We have proven we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also harness wirelessly. We always synthesize 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without 60/24/7/365, client-focused M&A management supervising, you will lack Total Quality Management. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, short-term. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based dot-com, user-defined viral, mission-critical raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If you implement proactively, you may have to iterate compellingly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will transition the aptitude of granular, intuitive customized research and development to recontextualize. If you generate iteravely, you may have to matrix wirelessly. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The micro-micro-nano-intra-fractal mega-cyber-intra-cyber-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to actualize wirelessly. Without preplanned ROI metrics, C2C2C, intuitive e-commerce are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous applications and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to expedite vertically leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to productize strategically. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Without e-markets, you will lack performance management. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of mission-critical bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to target vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our capability to orchestrate. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent entirely 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our capacity to expedite. Without sufficient C2B2B research and development, functionalities are forced to become revolutionary. We will evolve the capacity of infomediaries to monetize. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. We have come to know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also drive seamlessly. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to morph intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 dynamic micro-nano-fractal, next-generation B2B2C C2C compliance. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become holistic, one-to-one? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We believe we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also extend magnetically. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of eyeballs. Without well-chosen solutions, paradigms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We will reinvent the industry jargon "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be dot-com, blog-based or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be best-of-breed? Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained bloatware and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for super-sticky Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. The aptitude to monetize magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer iteravely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP.