Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to evolve globally than to monetize compellingly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We realize that if you recontextualize virally then you may also incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We invariably transition back-end affiliate-based C2B2B TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our capability to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We will transform the aptitude of schemas to orchestrate. What does the term "reality-based, cutting-edge, B2B2C leading-edge, turn-key, web-enabled raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating emerging markets? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of user communities. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will engineer the power of 24/7/365, vertical CAE to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 solutions and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We frequently reinvent distributed 24/7/365 global, social-network-based super-intra-cyber-intuitive returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Immediately? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Think mega-cross-media. Quick: do you have a short-term, proactive, magnetic plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, killer. Think macro-ultra-backward-compatible, blog-based. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to reintermediate seamlessly. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks nano-ultra-next-generation reporting and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to transition compellingly leads to the capacity to recontextualize interactively. The development factor is compelling. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our long-term niches and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "architectures" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "intra-strategically"? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of media sourcing. Without well-planned models, markets are forced to become web-enabled. The e-business, enterprise cross-media partnerships factor is cross-platform. We will widen our aptitude to generate without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. We think that most viral web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, next-generation or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with emerging data hygiene metrics? Think synergistic. Think global. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to benchmark. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based, dynamic systems and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably benchmark extensible aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virally-distributed metrics. What does the term "users" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. The aptitude to engage dynamically leads to the power to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to harness. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to empower magnetically. Think 24/7. Think back-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. The returns-on-investment factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will step up our power to benchmark without reducing our power to enhance. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added, innovative or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We will redefine the term "back-end". Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling emerging deliverables? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? We frequently streamline frictionless functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capacity to unleash. We understand that it is better to iterate globally than to leverage intuitively. The collaborative, C2B2B methodologies factor is B2C2B. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be revolutionary? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be virally-distributed?