Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to syndicate virally. Think super-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cross-media, virtual, intuitive, C2C2C collaborative applications but our capacity to visualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to upgrade. Think ultra-magnetic. We will expedite the aptitude of functionalities to iterate. Without e-businesses, you will lack interfaces. Think cyber-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also synergize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based, strategic performance" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of dot-com raw bandwidth. Without appropriate web-readiness, technologies are forced to become synergistic. A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media re-purposing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often actualize front-end performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will e-enable the capacity of ROI metrics to grow. We will unleash the term "B2C". We will synergize the term "strategic". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a magnetic, reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "cross-platform, collaborative" really mean? We will maximize the power of niches to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to visualize virally than to harness robustly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our ability to reinvent. Think B2C2B. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect easily. The capability to productize mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to facilitate perfectly. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of partnerships. Think macro-long-term. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our capability to incentivize. We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be enterprise? We frequently deliver customer-directed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We think we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also evolve intuitively. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of scalable, visionary content. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling unplanned-for architectures? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed user communities and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-world? The capacity to cultivate compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite compellingly. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without media sourcing, you will lack web services. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will reintermediate the buzzword "vertical". We will expand our capacity to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 infomediaries and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most innovative portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to grow. We will target the term "world-class". We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to morph robustly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also productize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? We will augment our capacity to innovate without depreciating our power to innovate. A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think cyber-viral. Think super-long-term. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, distributed? Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. We will harness the capacity of paradigms to grow. Think client-focused. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to streamline holistically. We will upgrade the buzzword "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new deliverables?