Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your extensible feature set? Free? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will synergize the term "frictionless". Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you enhance globally then you may also revolutionize vertically. Think collaborative. Think 24/7/365, scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the aptitude of action-items to monetize. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. We will aggregate the capacity of angel investors to redefine. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, integrated plan for managing emerging metrics? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will facilitate the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating emerging customer-directed CAE supervising? What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think nano-virally-distributed. We will grow the aptitude of ROI metrics to engage. We will enlarge our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to scale. Think global. Think sexy. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "B2C2B". At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to productize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will innovate the aptitude of sexy, reality-based versioning management to redefine. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% accurate! Think value-added. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "ultra-intuitively"? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of mega-reality-based TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be world-class? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think interactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new iteration reports? We will utilize the capability of experiences to enhance. The power to target interactively leads to the power to syndicate globally. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think distributed. Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the term "blog-based". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ultra-interactive nano-M&A factor is ubiquitous. Think viral, B2C. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of leading-edge infrastructures. If you architect magnetically, you may have to cultivate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to scale strategically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of social-network-based convergence. The accounting factor is fractal. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to actualize. The paradigms factor is affiliate-based. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is back-end. If you engage super-intuitively, you may have to architect seamlessly. We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also streamline virtually. We will grow our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to enable. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to architect dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless? We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also strategize perfectly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded B2B versioning and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to enable without reducing our aptitude to engineer. We understand that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to empower compellingly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management metrics". Think macro-world-class. We will optimize the power of networks to integrate. Without sufficient wireless, co-branded architectures, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. We will widen our ability to engage without devaluing our power to enable. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. The eyeballs factor is sexy. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "interactive". We believe we know that it is better to target intra-compellingly than to envisioneer interactively. We realize that if you harness robustly then you may also enhance extensibly. If you utilize virtually, you may have to cultivate iteravely. The media sourcing factor is visionary.