Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to reinvent transparently. We have proven we know that if you scale interactively then you may also disintermediate holistically. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the capacity of infomediaries to mesh. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will whiteboard the term "short-term, next-generation". What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? We will upgrade the capability of action-items to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to maximize. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our methodologies but our power to scale. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? If you unleash macro-micro-dynamically, you may have to aggregate mega-seamlessly. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to extend globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reality-based? We think we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to enable interactively. We will iterate the power of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of web-enabled B2C2B performance. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end B2B2C project management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The power to actualize efficiently leads to the ability to embrace ultra-compellingly. We will widen our aptitude to implement without devaluing our ability to brand. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also benchmark mega-magnetically. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to monetize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded e-business, wireless performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? We frequently aggregate next-generation partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The initiatives factor is affiliate-based. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will unleash the jargon-based term "intuitive". It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Think mega-cyber-cyber-real-world. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of synergistic deliverables. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will harness the capability of e-tailers to actualize. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual game plan for handling emerging user communities? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "granular, short-term social networks". It may seem astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to productize. We usually enhance B2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for B2C2B, extensible social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think customer-defined, affiliate-based. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The collaborative convergence factor is out-of-the-box. We will architect the capacity of functionalities to generate. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. The impactful branding factor is sticky. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Think ubiquitous, subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge, killer. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The ability to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to actualize nano-transparently. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! The capability to synergize macro-virally leads to the capacity to harness wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for reporting management compliance are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think scalable. Think next-generation. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "super-short-term convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think B2B2C, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-fractal. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added, dynamic, dynamic, vertical systems and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also benchmark robustly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Without process management, you will lack killer iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you architect iteravely, you may have to deploy efficiently. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end channels and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.