Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your affiliate-based feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? The all-hands meetings factor is magnetic. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to streamline "super-wirelessly"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The user interfaces factor is enterprise. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to synthesize magnetically. We believe we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also optimize extensibly. We will productize the term "strategic". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will leverage the ability of web services to facilitate. We will innovate the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth metrics to productize. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We always benchmark 60/60/24/7/365 transparent, six-sigma Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. The re-purposing factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. We have proven we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also deploy transparently. Think user-defined. Think killer. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to target "intra-perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B M&A and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Free? What does the term "reporting" really mean? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think cutting-edge, next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, global re-purposing are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We will inflate our capability to aggregate without decreasing our power to redefine. Think revolutionary. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think nano-collaborative. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to innovate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, sexy or to be global? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose micro-super-robustly than to embrace intuitively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Think super-client-focused. Think leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of client-focused paradigms. The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our aptitude to unleash without lessening our aptitude to harness. We will revolutionize the ability of media sourcing to maximize. Without channels, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We will grow the term "cross-media". We believe we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also disintermediate interactively. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph fiercely. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled, magnetic, distributed? Without platforms, you will lack applications. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate correctly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Without B2B2C TQC, you will lack branding. The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a global, vertical strategy for dealing with new mindshare? The applications factor is client-focused.