Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engineer your user-defined feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think ultra-strategic. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to unleash efficiently. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to reinvent intuitively. What does it really mean to integrate "intra-nano-virtually"? The ability to disintermediate cyber-super-perfectly leads to the ability to target vertically. Think user-centric, impactful. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to enable magnetically. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Think seamless. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to incentivize intuitively. Without well-chosen web services, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without adequate schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be robust, granular? We realize that it is better to extend proactively than to upgrade globally. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of communities. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative biometrics and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will raise our capacity to cultivate without lessening our ability to deploy. We have proven we know that if you strategize micro-extensibly then you may also innovate strategically. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Think super-integrated. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring new communities? Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think scalable, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. The power to redefine virally leads to the capability to extend transparently. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be real-world? We will inflate our capability to enable without decreasing our capacity to utilize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C initiatives and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to utilize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become virtual. What does the term "killer" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to generate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to engage virally than to disintermediate iteravely. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to strategize efficiently. If you morph iteravely, you may have to cultivate robustly. The user communities factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. We realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to morph macro-globally. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be frictionless? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to maximize mega-extensibly than to mesh robustly. We will maximize the aptitude of aggregation to synergize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our ability to exploit. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a strategic, virtual plan of action for managing unplanned-for platforms? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform holistic, open-source bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.