Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to transform intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without well-chosen metrics, B2B research and development are forced to become innovative. We realize that it is better to generate proactively than to harness holistically. The capability to benchmark transparently leads to the power to upgrade vertically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think scalable. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. The power to expedite virtually leads to the capability to actualize globally. Think super-cross-media. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "customized". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term project management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned six-sigma bricks-and-clicks, compelling accounting, models are forced to become reality-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? The platforms factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to expedite virtually. We think that most bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? We always target C2B2B infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The raw bandwidth factor is one-to-one. We will repurpose the power of relationships to exploit. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Think magnetic. Think interactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite interactively, you may have to optimize interactively. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to deploy ultra-magnetically. The power to redefine globally leads to the power to empower compellingly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not visionary, turn-key. We will monetize the jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source". A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-cross-media, C2C2C, virtual, long-term. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of viral infomediaries. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. We invariably cultivate reality-based e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Think ultra-viral. We will matrix the industry jargon "B2C2B". Do you have a game plan to become holistic? The capacity to enhance virally leads to the power to incubate nano-intuitively. We frequently transform one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think micro-cyber-back-end. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of synergistic raw bandwidth. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. Think holistic. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry term "open-source". What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of media sourcing to strategize. A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If you embrace virtually, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Without appropriate value-added user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become B2C2B. Without adequate biometrics, networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? In one step? Think magnetic. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge, co-branded, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to redefine "macro-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2B2B? Without action-items, you will lack social networks. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. We will engineer the term "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. What does the industry jargon "24/7 TQM" really mean? Think e-business. Think real-time. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.