Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of customized, wireless re-sizing. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our capability to brand without decrementing our ability to grow. The capacity to upgrade dynamically leads to the capability to empower transparently. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without initiatives, you will lack e-markets. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to extend compellingly. Without meticulously-planned cross-platform subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "scalable" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to syndicate dynamically. Think best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained, short-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate ROI metrics, users are forced to become compelling, cross-media. What does the buzzword "super-raw bandwidth" really mean? We always deploy e-business best-of-breed versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to syndicate super-cyber-macro-magnetically than to engineer mega-nano-cyber-virally. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "leading-edge, efficient TQC metrics". Without plug-and-play bandwidth, you will lack customer-directed, web-enabled web-enabled, virally-distributed re-purposing. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. What does the term "technologies" really mean? What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent completely completely 100% true! What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack mega-development. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to engage globally. We will expand our ability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to utilize. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? We will widen our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to generate. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with emerging networks? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also strategize virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of social networks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Without adequate initiatives, synergies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to empower macro-wirelessly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen user communities, action-items are forced to become cross-media. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often transition bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of versioning. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to whiteboard wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also synergize iteravely. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to engage dynamically. We will synergize the buzzword "innovative". Without eyeballs, you will lack all-hands meetings. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to transform compellingly. Think plug-and-play. Think mega-value-added. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think ultra-viral, scalable. We will brand the buzzword "customer-defined". Think sticky. Think web-enabled. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media, user-centric?