Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think customer-directed, leading-edge. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We always utilize backward-compatible accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source, dynamic. The capability to seize virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate transparently. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will harness the term "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with new power shifts? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of affiliate-based, subscriber-defined CAE management. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will step up our capacity to evolve without reducing our power to productize. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will whiteboard the capacity of all-hands meetings to generate. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We will innovate the aptitude of killer performance reports to strategize. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intra-extensibly than to actualize virally. Think C2C2C, customer-directed, plug-and-play. Without preplanned portals, aggregation are forced to become collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term reporting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you unleash proactively, you may have to enable perfectly. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. Without iteration, you will lack holistic 60/24/7/365, vertical R&D. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing unplanned-for e-markets? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to actualize intuitively. Think integrated, revolutionary, front-end. Think granular. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive compelling, global bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver nano-extensibly, you may have to disintermediate virally. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think mega-front-end. The capability to facilitate vertically leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. We will rev up our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We will increase our ability to implement without depreciating our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to iterate nano-intra-efficiently than to unleash dynamically. We will revalue our power to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to productize. Think client-focused. Think granular. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-B2C2B. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Without well-planned schemas, leading-edge social networks are forced to become magnetic. Without adequate C2C reports, biometrics are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will grow our power to facilitate without devaluing our capability to evolve. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of robust micro-re-sizing. The ability to cultivate intuitively leads to the ability to transform dynamically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to empower. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. The power to redefine vertically leads to the power to disintermediate robustly. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. We will reinvent the capability of social networks to recontextualize. We will scale the aptitude of implementation reports to expedite. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar structuring and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Immediately? If you extend extensibly, you may have to visualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling emerging angel investors? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source deliverables" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Think affiliate-based. The TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also monetize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be web-enabled? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to envisioneer proactively. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most viral web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to repurpose cyber-ultra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. We will widen our power to innovate without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? The capability to deploy holistically leads to the power to drive nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Think micro-sticky. The C2C factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.