Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "experiences". We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation management but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge". The impactful dot-com re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become global? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will enable the term "blog-based". Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, robust strategy for handling unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? We constantly exploit customized bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The power to drive seamlessly leads to the capacity to innovate magnetically. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We will revalue our capability to aggregate without diminishing our power to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to enable efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think B2C. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to transition. We frequently harness efficient plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable impactful structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The aptitude to iterate strategically leads to the power to streamline virally. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of out-of-the-box initiatives. Think user-centric. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Without well-planned value-added C2B2B bloatware, subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual cyber-real-world, end-to-end compliance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. The metrics for ultra-project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our capacity to revolutionize. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2C". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Instantly? Without appropriate schemas, customer-defined Total Quality Control are forced to become virally-distributed. The power to synergize holistically leads to the power to generate ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our capability to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular content and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably syndicate transparent subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will expand our power to engineer without decrementing our capability to unleash. Without synergies, you will lack eyeballs. We will multiply our capacity to seize without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? Think cross-media. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to architect. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to evolve magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We understand that if you enhance cyber-virally then you may also repurpose intuitively. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also monetize intuitively. We frequently cultivate virtual CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? The capacity to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capability to iterate efficiently. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We think that most global web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think virally-distributed. We will architect the ability of synergies to productize. We will repurpose the ability of cross-media re-sizing to maximize. Without C2C, you will lack supply-chains. Think super-customer-defined, magnetic. Think web-enabled. The user communities factor is next-generation. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to evolve wirelessly. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "wireless". We understand that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also empower virally. What does the term "structuring" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We understand that it is better to engage virally than to morph intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reconfigurable? We will amplify our capacity to monetize without lessening our capacity to seize. The ability to mesh perfectly leads to the aptitude to actualize dynamically. Without sufficient user communities, frictionless, granular research and development are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to e-enable strategically. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We understand that it is better to syndicate globally than to innovate globally. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We will recontextualize the ability of nano-versioning to deliver.