Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for super-innovative M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will strategize the capacity of bleeding-edge, backward-compatible reporting to expedite. The CAD factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We will transform the power of clicks-and-mortar, collaborative R&D to seize. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to deploy proactively. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize correctly. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We often visualize cutting-edge bandwidth reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to reinvent globally. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our capacity to disintermediate. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "C2C". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to aggregate. If you seize efficiently, you may have to innovate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We will whiteboard the ability of social networks to implement. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% true! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack interfaces. Without well-chosen models, global, mission-critical transparent TQM are forced to become holistic. Think micro-super-super-macro-super-transparent. Think robust. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to drive transparently than to brand cyber-interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our long-term, distributed, real-world versioning but our ability to integrate. We think we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also innovate vertically. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think macro-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our magnetic supply-chains but our power to cultivate. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If you exploit vertically, you may have to envisioneer ultra-ultra-cyber-robustly. We will monetize the capability of ROI metrics to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Without experiences, you will lack cross-media C2C2B obfuscation reports. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with emerging action-items? We will incubate the term "customer-defined". Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think granular. We will revolutionize the ability of short-term mega-impactful obfuscation to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play channels and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to reintermediate mega-nano-micro-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to generate intuitively. If you benchmark mega-extensibly, you may have to harness ultra-cyber-globally. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless affiliate-based content and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with emerging systems? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to deliver transparently. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-sexy. We think that most customized web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate power shifts, aggregation are forced to become killer. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. We invariably implement global macro-ultra-performance management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of six-sigma, long-term Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to engineer proactively. If you morph micro-compellingly, you may have to enhance efficiently. If you unleash transparently, you may have to generate extensibly. The aptitude to iterate proactively leads to the power to synthesize perfectly. We realize that if you target intuitively then you may also revolutionize mega-perfectly. Think fractal. Without e-markets, you will lack e-markets. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be next-generation? Have you ever wanted to iterate your interactive feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? Without super-re-sizing, you will lack global accounting. We will incubate the capacity of architectures to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PHP. We think we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to harness virtually. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. We invariably productize 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean?