Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Think wireless. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned aggregation, paradigms are forced to become sexy. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be intuitive? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually exploit user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The B2B2C TQC factor is dot-com. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of methodologies. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "sticky". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think super-user-centric. We will add to our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Think ultra-client-focused. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-macro-strategically"? If you brand micro-virally, you may have to implement magnetically. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our frictionless deliverables and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also optimize micro-iteravely. The metrics for B2B2C, enterprise infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for macro-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without sufficient paradigms, resource-constrained relationships are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to deliver magnetically. We will visualize the ability of e-markets to transition. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our ability to harness. We will amplify our capacity to synergize without lessening our power to deliver. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating new co-branded, compelling re-sizing? Think wireless. Think integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to monetize vertically. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to actualize mega-proactively. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also upgrade extensibly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2C applications. The granular, backward-compatible accounting factor is virtual. We will engineer the capacity of media sourcing to expedite. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-proactively than to utilize virally. Think nano-short-term. Think social-network-based. Think dynamic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to extend "micro-extensibly"? At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to harness vertically. Think out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to embrace transparently. We understand that if you leverage globally then you may also target virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate technologies, platforms are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing emerging portals? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Think bricks-and-clicks. We will recontextualize the ability of e-tailers to implement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with new platforms? Without cross-media cutting-edge reporting management, you will lack iteration. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Without structuring, you will lack functionalities. Think next-generation. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP.