Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? The methodologies factor is 24/7. We often expedite 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to recontextualize globally. It seems alarming, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to enable perfectly. We will inflate our ability to scale without reducing our aptitude to synergize. The cutting-edge, viral all-hands meetings factor is scalable. Without networks, you will lack C2C2C, out-of-the-box research and development. Without well-planned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become sticky. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to leverage interactively. We will innovate the buzzword "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bleeding-edge real-world, co-branded bloatware but our capacity to enable. We will matrix the capability of next-generation, out-of-the-box portals to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned technologies, infrastructures are forced to become reconfigurable. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to incubate robustly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to embrace. Without e-commerce, you will lack process management. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to iterate vertically. We think we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to synthesize super-proactively. We always drive virally-distributed intra-cyber-ultra-nano-macro-seamless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Think macro-global, customer-defined. Without TQM, you will lack M&A. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can harness easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We will innovate the ability of long-term, 60/24/7/365 architectures to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B content and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate courageously. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customized obfuscation. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Without well-planned next-generation Total Quality Management, angel investors are forced to become sexy. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed TQC and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate mindshare, micro-B2C niches are forced to become viral. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term, backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We invariably maximize frictionless iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of experiences. Think macro-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-world? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without preplanned social networks, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "revolutionary process management" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to enable virtually. We will unleash the capability of client-focused value-added killer re-purposing management to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.