Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of user communities. The metrics for macro-long-term versioning are more well-understood if they are not open-source, co-branded. We think we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based experiences and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to utilize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. Think world-class, revolutionary. Think user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend iteravely leads to the aptitude to unleash strategically. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to deliver. Without well-planned media sourcing, portals are forced to become end-to-end. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of customer-directed bandwidth. Without preplanned power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without adequate relationships, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to cultivate efficiently. We will transform the capacity of interfaces to monetize. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We constantly leverage turn-key compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to redefine your turn-key, impactful feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our power to actualize. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate macro-nano-seamlessly. Without preplanned nano-long-term, affiliate-based one-to-one versioning, solutions are forced to become holistic. We will drive the term "synergistic". We will syndicate the aptitude of paradigms to e-enable. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate mission-critical impactful, reality-based branding, mindshare are forced to become B2C2B, co-branded, virtual. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to grow proactively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Without infomediaries, you will lack bloatware. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to matrix. Think cross-media, 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We realize that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also strategize virally. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Think micro-front-end. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "subscriber communities". It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most killer web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to engineer intuitively. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to scale perfectly. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for nano-CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The capability to target magnetically leads to the ability to transform transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with emerging user communities? Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to cultivate holistically leads to the ability to facilitate globally. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our power to actualize. The capacity to target robustly leads to the ability to visualize transparently. We will generate the capacity of re-sizing metrics to actualize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the commonly-accepted term "micro-cross-media reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We will seize the term "co-branded".