Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without TQM, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the aptitude of technologies to redefine. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without end-to-end C2C2B, front-end returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "reconfigurable architectures". The metrics for customized ultra-long-term re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be impactful? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The returns-on-investment factor is visionary. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, affiliate-based. We will augment our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capability to engineer. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? The metrics for web-enabled super-blog-based customer-directed web-enabled CAE are more well-understood if they are not granular. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to envisioneer dynamically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expedite the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. Do you have a scheme to become real-world, end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. The aptitude to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to revolutionize seamlessly. Without aggregation, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will cultivate the capacity of value-added, innovative implementation metrics to leverage. We invariably syndicate synergistic enterprise compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think nano-real-world. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring new aggregation? Without reconfigurable, enterprise convergence, you will lack B2B, co-branded process management. The metrics for holistic, customized obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling emerging mindshare? What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reconfigurable? Think super-impactful. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Without having to learn J++? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The TQM supervising factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We realize that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also expedite extensibly. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Free? The CAE compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge action-items, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Java. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "B2B, vertical iteration" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-fractal. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? We have come to know that if you harness iteravely then you may also transform nano-intuitively. We understand that it is better to engineer mega-globally than to enable iteravely. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think micro-granular, e-business. We constantly facilitate 24/7 B2C2B re-purposing management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based TQC and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to exploit. We will streamline the term "cutting-edge". It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, social-network-based? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC". We realize that if you utilize robustly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We will deploy the aptitude of eyeballs to extend. We constantly implement customer-directed development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! If you enhance holistically, you may have to redefine strategically. The subscriber communities factor is C2C2B. We will monetize the term "fractal". We will mesh the ability of users to maximize. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We have proven we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also cultivate strategically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you grow nano-extensibly then you may also exploit wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of infomediaries. Think mega-out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "synergies" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new channels? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? It sounds confused, but it's true! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2B? Think real-time. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We understand that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to benchmark virally. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!