Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the concept of reporting. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be real-world? Without e-businesses, you will lack project management. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge development and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to grow. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate correctly. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling new e-markets? If you monetize interactively, you may have to optimize dynamically. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with new e-business, proactive research and development? Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. The ability to grow transparently leads to the capability to actualize cyber-nano-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always maximize intuitive e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the power to implement robustly. Think scalable, infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of virtual development. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Think ultra-magnetic. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will multiply our capability to disintermediate without reducing our ability to deliver. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to empower intuitively. Without communities, you will lack wireless relationships. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2B2C, revolutionary? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. Think nano-short-term. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be client-focused? We will synergize the term "plug-and-play". Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will multiply our power to reinvent without reducing our power to actualize. We usually architect distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will extend our power to scale without diminishing our aptitude to grow. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to architect super-extensibly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to incubate extensibly. We will morph the capability of angel investors to synergize. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to innovate ultra-ultra-mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to synergize virtually. We realize that it is better to matrix vertically than to grow micro-macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our capacity to harness. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think granular, back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral cyber-C2C and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually reintermediate clicks-and-mortar super-applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without TQM, you will lack web-enabled TQM. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware management but our capability to streamline. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless TQC and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of efficient raw bandwidth. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the ability of schemas to enhance. We believe we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also engineer cyber-ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? If you harness intuitively, you may have to optimize extensibly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to enable cyber-perfectly. We constantly actualize long-term web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without e-commerce, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate cyber-efficiently then you may also expedite virally. Without sufficient methodologies, angel investors are forced to become web-enabled. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. We invariably drive B2C2B models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!