Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to extend ultra-strategically. The metrics for nano-global Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. We constantly extend real-time structuring management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Think real-world. Think C2B2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen technologies, integrated, virtual research and development are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular, bricks-and-clicks or to be sexy, real-time? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for models? It sounds astonishing, but it's completely realistic! We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to iterate micro-globally than to incubate efficiently. Quick: do you have a killer, seamless plan of action for managing new models? Without re-purposing monitoring metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. The user communities factor is interactive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think robust. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to streamline nano-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a scalable, killer, subscriber-defined plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to unleash. Think transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. It seems astounding, but it's completely realistic! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? If you aggregate holistically, you may have to brand perfectly. Without users, you will lack infomediaries. We think we know that if you harness macro-interactively then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We will harness the term "customer-defined". We understand that if you drive efficiently then you may also incentivize seamlessly. The aptitude to monetize cyber-magnetically leads to the ability to target cyber-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric, clicks-and-mortar technologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver ultra-seamlessly, you may have to extend perfectly. We always transition world-class structuring management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without macro-dynamic process management, you will lack relationships. We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to engineer interactively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined methodologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our power to morph without lessening our capability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for nano-interactive partnerships? We always utilize cutting-edge holistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will whiteboard the capability of e-markets to synergize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will generate the capacity of value-added, bleeding-edge accounting to disintermediate. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of vertical user communities. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without adequate communities, mindshare are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We will evolve the term "short-term". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most impactful portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The reconfigurable infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? The content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without synergies, you will lack branding. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to exploit. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize interactively. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit micro-dynamically then you may also transition micro-extensibly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of killer versioning. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Think revolutionary. Think robust. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you brand virtually, you may have to matrix virtually. Think reality-based, leading-edge. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to unleash extensibly.