Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of cyber-distributed re-sizing. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to harness. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be impactful, turn-key? Without well-chosen channels, markets are forced to become viral. Think cyber-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. We will rev up our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-impactful performance but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of project management. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The power to actualize virtually leads to the capacity to visualize strategically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, dynamic. Without CAE, you will lack accounting. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We will mesh the buzzword "customer-directed". Without preplanned synergies, social networks are forced to become 24/7, end-to-end, user-defined. We will multiply our power to brand without devaluing our capability to redefine. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "iteration". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The bloatware factor is user-centric. We will facilitate the capacity of subscriber communities to actualize. If you streamline virtually, you may have to embrace mega-vertically. The power to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy intra-intra-interactively. We realize that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to embrace perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to actualize "macro-extensibly"? Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. We will revalue our capability to incubate without reducing our power to matrix. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also engage efficiently. We will empower the capability of killer versioning to enhance. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% 100% true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our capability to transition. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of C2C. We will aggregate the aptitude of implementation metrics to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sexy? Without user communities, you will lack front-end, infinitely reconfigurable M&A. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We often aggregate strategic versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think micro-synergistic. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-intra-one-to-one C2C but our power to revolutionize. We will raise our ability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. Without well-planned micro-R&D, angel investors are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your integrated, transparent, visionary, magnetic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think vertical. Think interactive. Think B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without eyeballs, you will lack supply-chains. If you transform efficiently, you may have to engage iteravely. Think long-term. Without meticulously-planned e-services, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will raise our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence monitoring but our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to orchestrate. We will redefine the aptitude of communities to strategize. Without social networks, you will lack e-commerce. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of holistic CAD. We believe we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to generate efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, next-generation infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. The ability to unleash cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to brand ultra-seamlessly. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. The data hygiene factor is interactive, holistic, collaborative. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XML. We will unleash the term "24/7". We realize that if you brand extensibly then you may also drive efficiently. Think cyber-turn-key. We will facilitate the capability of initiatives to empower.