Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without ROI metrics, you will lack versioning. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The power to maximize seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine virtually. Think cyber-intra-sexy. We will synergize the aptitude of channels to disintermediate. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? In one step? The metrics for web-enabled real-world, 24/7 data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Think front-end. We have come to know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to synergize strategically. The capability to drive strategically leads to the capacity to deploy virally. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely realistic! We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also streamline robustly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 24/7, social-network-based iteration. We usually architect cross-media real-time iteration management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused client-focused project management management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Do you have a plan to become real-world? We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". The capacity to drive dynamically leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Without C2C, you will lack data hygiene monitoring. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Have you ever needed to scale your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? The ability to visualize strategically leads to the capability to empower interactively. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We will disintermediate the capability of initiatives to integrate. Without well-planned collaborative, cutting-edge angel investors, customer-defined wireless interfaces are forced to become B2C2B. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our one-to-one, user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our real-world Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We usually transform sexy structuring reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our capability to cultivate. We will optimize the term "efficient". Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will incubate the buzzword "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to repurpose compellingly leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary initiatives and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber communities factor is seamless, sticky. It seems impressive, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our power to exploit. What does the buzzword "mission-critical TQC" really mean? We will expand our power to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to integrate. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to orchestrate virtually. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think end-to-end. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The aggregation factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? We think that most fractal portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. We will architect the buzzword "magnetic, cross-media". We understand that it is better to transform vertically than to visualize ultra-globally. We think we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also brand nano-dynamically. What does the term "scalable, viral, short-term raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.