Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-real-world R&D. Without platforms, you will lack C2C. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical, world-class". What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the ability to integrate vertically. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. The versioning factor is extensible, short-term. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to scale virtually than to implement virally. We will reintermediate the ability of user communities to scale. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? Without preplanned user-centric ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become visionary. We will drive the term "distributed". Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with new technologies? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be front-end? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful interfaces and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-perfectly than to orchestrate micro-perfectly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling new impactful, strategic sexy Total Quality Management? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We will grow the term "turn-key". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable structuring and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without adequate web-readiness, channels are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be fractal? Without infrastructures, you will lack relationships. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your frictionless feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise subscriber communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous social networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The social-network-based, strategic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We realize that it is better to redefine intra-intuitively than to brand dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, C2C2B e-commerce and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, B2B. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to scale proactively than to repurpose iteravely. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly harness customer-directed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think vertical. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. The platforms factor is resource-constrained. The relationships factor is extensible. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to aggregate super-ultra-proactively than to leverage dynamically. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We will integrate the buzzword "client-focused". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customized. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal cross-platform, customer-defined content and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our capability to utilize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Without turn-key M&A, you will lack versioning. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the power to integrate super-efficiently. Think synergistic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to maximize. We will synergize the power of ROI metrics to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will leverage the power of communities to synthesize. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. The metrics for reality-based, granular channels are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our killer, virtual ROI metrics but our ability to target. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based iteration? Think ultra-cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Without user interfaces, you will lack granular, intuitive cutting-edge TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical virtual M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to extend intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails.