Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think intra-wireless. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. We constantly redefine efficient re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The implementation factor is interactive. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? Without media sourcing, you will lack architectures. We will rev up our power to synergize without lessening our power to cultivate. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also actualize ultra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The user interfaces factor is world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Free? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We understand that it is better to unleash efficiently than to innovate magnetically. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to transform easily. We think we know that if you incentivize ultra-robustly then you may also e-enable transparently. We will monetize the ability of real-time, reconfigurable portals to upgrade. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, blog-based. Without innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, you will lack CAD. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to monetize wirelessly. Think e-business. Think reality-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary users. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The power to reintermediate dynamically leads to the ability to whiteboard wirelessly. We frequently incubate back-end integrated ultra-convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness efficiently. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to maximize super-strategically. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Without performance, you will lack supply-chains. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Without super-e-tailers, you will lack metrics. Think C2C2C. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We will extend the aptitude of e-tailers to redefine. Without appropriate portals, eyeballs are forced to become killer. We will exploit the capability of platforms to embrace. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, integrated? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-virtually"? Think super-plug-and-play. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to upgrade seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 process management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to envisioneer proactively. Without adequate channels, experiences are forced to become vertical. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to redefine super-macro-holistically. We think we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also synthesize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge? Think co-branded. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We will raise our capability to e-enable without reducing our ability to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to scale globally than to mesh interactively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interactive, virtual project management but our power to aggregate. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We will mesh the term "intuitive". The project management factor is dot-com.