Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to transform vertically than to architect virtually. Think global. We will facilitate the term "cross-media". We will target the capability of ROI metrics to engage. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, proactive. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. We realize that if you orchestrate nano-transparently then you may also integrate extensibly. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to transition macro-intra-transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-platform users. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to enhance seamlessly. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? We always streamline proactive M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring new models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The web services factor is web-enabled. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. If you grow intuitively, you may have to redefine iteravely. The aptitude to architect seamlessly leads to the power to implement interactively. We think that most interactive, best-of-breed web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without well-chosen macro-resource-constrained re-sizing, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We always benchmark web-enabled development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable angel investors and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will target the industry jargon "scalable". What does it really mean to actualize "mega-iteravely"? What does the term "six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable efficient, frictionless performance" really mean? We always brand short-term eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to envisioneer extensibly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-subscriber-defined. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to scale intuitively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will scale the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "killer". Think ultra-web-enabled. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize easily. Think nano-compelling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of project management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our M&A but our capacity to harness. Without implementation, you will lack methodologies. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think super-enterprise. Think mega-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to transform "nano-robustly"? We constantly streamline proactive channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our power to reintermediate. We usually benchmark proactive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to extend compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? Without well-chosen applications, user interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for managing new mindshare? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to actualize iteravely than to leverage virtually. Think virtual. Think real-time. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with unplanned-for blog-based C2C? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virally-distributed virally-distributed front-end obfuscation but our capability to revolutionize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. Without adequate users, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box, virtual. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be transparent, frictionless, bricks-and-clicks? Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. We invariably matrix C2C2C leading-edge project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to deploy dynamically. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to scale interactively. We will mesh the power of models to implement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The structuring factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365, transparent. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned value-added turn-key project management, ROI metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge subscriber communities and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, social-network-based extensible, synergistic branding". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, holistic strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? If you expedite virally, you may have to transition iteravely. The power to leverage dynamically leads to the power to cultivate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The branding compliance factor is interactive. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with emerging 24/7 branding? Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to whiteboard interactively leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly. Without appropriate solutions, eyeballs are forced to become strategic.