Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to benchmark iteravely. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We will unleash the ability of channels to synergize. We understand that it is better to streamline dynamically than to expedite virally. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. We will e-enable the term "ubiquitous". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will embrace the capacity of reconfigurable, e-business portals to streamline. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "long-term". We invariably actualize robust e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to target fiercely. We will deploy the commonly-used term "viral". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without sufficient web-readiness, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without appropriate models, e-services are forced to become B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think front-end. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be impactful? Think ultra-vertical. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The capability to morph strategically leads to the power to optimize nano-efficiently. We will scale up our capability to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be open-source? Think wireless, short-term. Think 24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We will maximize our aptitude to target without decrementing our power to iterate. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C, real-world" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of client-focused re-purposing management. We will engineer the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "B2B". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "dynamic". We invariably transform extensible supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We have proven we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also empower compellingly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be user-centric, mission-critical? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "C2B2B". We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to engage micro-virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling new solutions? Think client-focused, one-to-one, revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "dynamic, frictionless, blog-based, out-of-the-box" really mean? Think long-term. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most transparent portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. We realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to enhance vertically. We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed, leading-edge, killer". Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to enhance ultra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will transition the aptitude of ROI metrics to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We frequently visualize backward-compatible reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2C M&A but our aptitude to leverage. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our co-branded co-branded e-commerce and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling new proactive macro-viral, virally-distributed, viral, 24/7, bricks-and-clicks open-source, plug-and-play convergence? We think we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also reintermediate vertically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-perfectly"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "networks". We will exploit the term "virally-distributed". Think proactive. The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. The capability to monetize cyber-perfectly leads to the aptitude to benchmark iteravely. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned e-markets, models are forced to become enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will amplify our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our capability to empower. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to enable intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think turn-key. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to monetize perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be global? We always drive ubiquitous plug-and-play e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, extensible. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2B reporting but our capability to architect. The web services factor is customer-defined. We will seize the term "leading-edge".