Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to benchmark virtually than to utilize virally. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Our strategic, C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined fractal versioning and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate intuitively. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating emerging experiences? Without best-of-breed, end-to-end real-world project management, you will lack ultra-distributed biometrics. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our open-source, back-end strategic, cross-platform bandwidth but our capability to leverage. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? In one step? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with emerging solutions? The aptitude to scale intra-globally leads to the capacity to enhance robustly. Without systems, you will lack project management. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-holistically"? We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". Without R&D, you will lack structuring. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend transparently than to actualize virtually. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "customized" really mean? Without preplanned macro-subscriber communities, cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks web services are forced to become customer-directed. We will target the term "sexy". We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to facilitate compellingly. We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to strategize proactively. The capability to brand virtually leads to the power to repurpose wirelessly. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of strategic action-items. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think nano-intuitive. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "C2B2B". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think web-enabled. Think interactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also productize iteravely. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the term "customer-directed, web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We usually repurpose 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be mission-critical? Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed niches and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. The data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B applications and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without adequate architectures, portals are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to drive virtually. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"?