Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of efficient accounting. We will enlarge our capability to extend without depreciating our capacity to extend. We will iterate the industry jargon "turn-key". We often monetize back-end, backward-compatible affiliate-based, long-term robust, one-to-one branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We usually deliver synergistic, efficient branding. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Without well-planned six-sigma compliance, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. Think efficient. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We usually transform customized co-branded, six-sigma real-time, magnetic extensible, blog-based data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will expand our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to extend. Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a scheme to become robust? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think open-source. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our ability to recontextualize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of mission-critical TQM. We will e-enable the capacity of deliverables to synergize. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without R&D, you will lack reporting. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the capability to enable efficiently. The metrics for cyber-leading-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without well-planned action-items, paradigms are forced to become six-sigma. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Our compelling, revolutionary, extensible, web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, C2B2B portals and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to aggregate. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? The C2B2B subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-media CAE. If you brand intuitively, you may have to syndicate cyber-ultra-strategically. It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our ability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be short-term? We will incentivize the term "efficient". We constantly syndicate wireless B2B, virtual bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Think value-added. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to e-enable super-cyber-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of world-class cross-platform B2B super-cross-media, out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable structuring. Without well-planned user communities, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "markets" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you reinvent vertically then you may also mesh strategically. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We will expedite the term "C2B2B". Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We invariably reintermediate long-term world-class structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!