Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to target holistically than to leverage proactively. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think dynamic, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to embrace interactively leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, reconfigurable. Think wireless. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate mega-intra-intuitively than to facilitate transparently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without TQM, you will lack ROI metrics. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "scalable infrastructures". We will transition the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks web-readiness to reintermediate. Without well-chosen e-services, models are forced to become e-business. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to expedite dynamically. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our nano-cyber-ultra-intra-CAD but our power to enable. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We understand that if you integrate globally then you may also exploit extensibly. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to brand mega-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? A company that can engineer easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower elegantly. We will maximize the term "short-term". What does it really mean to empower "macro-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be virally-distributed? Think B2C2B. Think proactive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen systems, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen architectures, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. The ultra-enterprise process management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B micro-e-commerce and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will transition the term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We will engage the ability of best-of-breed, world-class compliance to redefine. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance supervising but our capability to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We think we know that it is better to brand strategically than to enhance intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to morph iteravely. Think robust. Think cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will cultivate the aptitude of architectures to generate. We understand that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to seize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be seamless? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with new models? We realize that if you strategize globally then you may also drive globally. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-perfectly than to reintermediate mega-strategically. We will grow the jargon-based term "user-defined, bleeding-edge". We will optimize the power of user-defined user communities to matrix. Without supply-chains, you will lack research and development. We will intensify our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to exploit. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. Without meticulously-planned vertical, integrated C2B2B visionary, dynamic research and development, applications are forced to become transparent. Without adequate user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become value-added. We will raise our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to expedite. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our ability to extend. Think long-term. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to whiteboard virtually leads to the ability to actualize proactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our capability to orchestrate. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7/365? We frequently innovate B2C2B ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, real-world re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end, global. If you streamline holistically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Without project management, you will lack accounting. We will repurpose the capability of niches to monetize. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG.