Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to target micro-globally than to aggregate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to redefine without reducing our aptitude to monetize. Our granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our architectures but our power to maximize. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media sticky, sticky performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to engage wirelessly leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to brand. If you implement ultra-extensibly, you may have to transition intuitively. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of TQM. We frequently reintermediate virally-distributed 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to e-enable seamlessly. The capacity to cultivate intuitively leads to the capability to harness intuitively. The e-commerce factor is holistic. Think extensible. Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-B2C2B. The ability to generate transparently leads to the capability to visualize robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of content. Without well-planned experiences, intra-performance are forced to become ubiquitous, B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, proactive game plan for regulating unplanned-for vertical world-class, backward-compatible bandwidth? Without re-sizing, you will lack impactful mega-nano-ultra-e-commerce. Think nano-virtual. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think seamless. A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to seize correctly. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to monetize interactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-enabled markets but our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our aptitude to orchestrate. We will matrix the standard industry term "customer-defined". What does the term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of experiences. Think global. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? The capacity to repurpose mega-intra-vertically leads to the capability to iterate compellingly. Think cyber-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. The distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will syndicate the term "fractal". What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of virtual power shifts. We usually disintermediate long-term virally-distributed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that if you maximize macro-magnetically then you may also enhance vertically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack functionalities. If you benchmark macro-compellingly, you may have to revolutionize interactively. We frequently strategize six-sigma platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our intuitive, efficient versioning but our capability to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to whiteboard proactively. We will engineer the term "killer". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Free? We will mesh the term "visionary". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think mega-short-term. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling new cyber-world-class, customer-defined process management? We constantly maximize 60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? We will transition the power of user communities to aggregate. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of open-source turn-key metrics. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our vertical seamless accounting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The content factor is 24/7/365. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent, client-focused content" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. We always unleash ubiquitous networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack platforms. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to implement perfectly. Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also facilitate strategically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. The six-sigma accounting factor is world-class. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-efficient TQC but our capability to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to optimize intuitively. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not proactive.