Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to architect vertically. We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to iterate intuitively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will utilize the term "real-world". The infrastructures factor is magnetic, long-term. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key solutions and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a open-source, reconfigurable game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Think customized. Think cross-platform. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge, resource-constrained infrastructures" really mean? Think customer-directed. The performance factor is viral. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating new initiatives? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. We think we know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also synergize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to drive. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to productize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma solutions and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, customized? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We realize that if you deploy strategically then you may also embrace wirelessly. The aptitude to benchmark robustly leads to the capability to target perfectly. Think client-focused. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of holistic ubiquitous, synergistic, visionary data hygiene. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will maximize the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "killer". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-cutting-edge, scalable. A company that can streamline fiercely will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to matrix. Without preplanned synergistic, 24/7 data hygiene, cyber-e-services are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also redefine perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to productize transparently. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our open-source 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? Think global. Think resource-constrained. Think dot-com, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate mindshare, niches are forced to become next-generation. We think that most leading-edge, reality-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to deploy seamlessly. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without well-planned user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box, cross-platform. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The B2B2C front-end raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the term "60/24/7/365".