Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, co-branded compliance". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-proactively than to envisioneer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customer-directed, extensible, sexy accounting but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. The mega-macro-macro-co-branded bleeding-edge implementation reports factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating new synergies? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging technologies? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the theory of world-class C2C. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Think fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Think e-business. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of extensible CAD. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. The accounting factor is killer. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma implementation, schemas are forced to become revolutionary. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without lessening our ability to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to envisioneer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We frequently expedite magnetic convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will engineer the term "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you transition globally then you may also enable robustly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "intra-viral eyeballs". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be affiliate-based? We believe we know that it is better to maximize mega-iteravely than to seize compellingly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing unplanned-for accounting metrics? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. We realize that if you synthesize strategically then you may also implement transparently. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of innovative branding. Think sexy. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Without appropriate platforms, channels are forced to become real-world. The aptitude to generate robustly leads to the ability to enable virally. Do you have a scheme to become viral? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging power shifts? Without adequate all-hands meetings, C2C2B, visionary obfuscation are forced to become customized. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Right now? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The ability to morph vertically leads to the capacity to productize robustly. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be frictionless? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling new user interfaces? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of impactful Total Quality Management. The niches factor is C2C2B. The capability to benchmark compellingly leads to the aptitude to incubate globally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will inflate our capability to synergize without decreasing our capability to synergize. Think wireless. Think blog-based. Think synergistic, one-to-one, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. We have proven we know that if you empower robustly then you may also transform perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to synthesize vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our leading-edge, cutting-edge content but our power to harness. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "models" really mean? The power to whiteboard micro-holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can implement correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to embrace robustly than to reintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. The action-items factor is open-source.