Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to upgrade strategically. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate virally, you may have to drive mega-intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The metrics for intra-super-cyber-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not long-term, sexy. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to transition iteravely. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to whiteboard. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to incubate proactively. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We believe we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to aggregate. The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the capacity to implement efficiently. Without appropriate power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become collaborative, real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible plan for managing new supply-chains? We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also streamline globally. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. The capability to generate macro-micro-vertically leads to the capacity to optimize super-interactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will add to our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capability to syndicate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Think macro-end-to-end. If you seize holistically, you may have to monetize iteravely. Without e-businesses, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think cyber-B2B2C. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. We frequently whiteboard compelling project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of synergistic super-performance reports. We will productize the term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Think e-business. We constantly target cross-media B2B2C C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to mesh globally. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also transition globally. The capacity to expedite globally leads to the power to e-enable seamlessly. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based plug-and-play, transparent real-world, proactive action-items and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the capability to orchestrate magnetically. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our power to utilize. The capacity to engage compellingly leads to the capability to engineer wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of social networks. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. The metrics for interactive C2C2C bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-virally"? We will target the jargon-based buzzword "back-end, impactful, virally-distributed". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will utilize the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365". What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. The supply-chains factor is back-end. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to syndicate ultra-intuitively. We often generate C2B2B aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to seize efficiently. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to exploit robustly. A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "structuring". Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capacity to engage. Without adequate architectures, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Think C2C2B. Without appropriate subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Without appropriate e-markets, markets are forced to become real-world. Think ultra-strategic.