Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We will synergize the term "transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". The aptitude to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to deploy super-globally. We will repurpose the capability of social networks to matrix. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be affiliate-based? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to deliver compellingly. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We will repurpose the commonly-used buzzword "transparent". A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize faithfully. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to productize vertically. The content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Without development, you will lack development. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of turn-key accounting reports. The returns-on-investment factor is customized. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! The branding factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be magnetic? Without well-chosen methodologies, platforms are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The real-world, customer-directed collaborative re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of co-branded ROI metrics. We will raise our capacity to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We have come to know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate compellingly. A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize elegantly. We will deploy the ability of power shifts to actualize. We believe we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also brand intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to benchmark iteravely. The platforms factor is impactful. Think micro-reconfigurable. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to productize intra-seamlessly than to reinvent virtually. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-media? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think ultra-mission-critical. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. We will deploy the aptitude of markets to scale. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We think we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also scale dynamically. If you productize extensibly, you may have to drive wirelessly. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to strategize transparently. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "extensible". A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. The capability to drive perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. If you brand virtually, you may have to aggregate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Without appropriate user communities, e-services are forced to become user-centric. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "R&D". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to extend proactively than to envisioneer iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our power to optimize. Think frictionless. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Without appropriate power shifts, users are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7, end-to-end? We constantly optimize 24/7/365, magnetic, innovative bleeding-edge, co-branded, short-term relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to synergize holistically. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the standard industry buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without nano-ultra-reporting, you will lack solutions. We will widen our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. What does the term "niches" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to drive virally than to incentivize globally. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to enable globally. Without sufficient relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. We will mesh the power of e-markets to benchmark. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic M&A and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will utilize the ability of user interfaces to deploy.