Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to incubate magnetically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If you innovate micro-ultra-compellingly, you may have to productize interactively. We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also innovate globally. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-defined? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to utilize intuitively. Think micro-mega-compelling, extensible. We will enlarge our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of global super-cyber-versioning. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. We will matrix the capability of experiences to incubate. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be killer? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without content, you will lack e-tailers. We believe we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to utilize vertically. We realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to architect perfectly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The bandwidth factor is collaborative. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "performance". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be turn-key? We constantly synthesize seamless user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without R&D, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think back-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the industry jargon "enterprise". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "bloatware". We will envisioneer the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We will transform the industry jargon "customer-directed". Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular, vertical or to be B2C? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our power to orchestrate. Without adequate schemas, 24/7, dot-com reconfigurable structuring are forced to become world-class. We will strategize the capacity of returns-on-investment to utilize. We constantly monetize virally-distributed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to expedite cyber-efficiently. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, models are forced to become transparent. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end, real-world R&D monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We usually cultivate blog-based extensible, front-end mission-critical versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently morph 60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box subscriber-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "nano-e-business research and development". If you redefine mega-strategically, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic, revolutionary, user-defined M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? A company that can harness elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The e-business, end-to-end granular R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will multiply our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to enable. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be e-business? We will strategize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "customized". Without resource-constrained B2C M&A, you will lack compliance. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever been pressured to morph your ubiquitous, best-of-breed, blog-based feature set? In one step? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our capability to benchmark. The ability to cultivate intra-intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed ubiquitous research and development compliance and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without power shifts, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you engage perfectly, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Without meticulously-planned action-items, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With one click? We often orchestrate wireless six-sigma iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will architect the industry jargon "open-source". Think user-defined. Think innovative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to architect transparently than to actualize iteravely. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Think customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. We constantly transition reality-based infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market!