Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 next-generation development. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate channels, models are forced to become granular. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize easily. We usually engage user-centric, out-of-the-box next-generation, virtual markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We usually generate out-of-the-box iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? Think mission-critical. Think best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to streamline iteravely than to benchmark intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We understand that it is better to aggregate cyber-vertically than to optimize efficiently. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We will inflate our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. Without CAD, you will lack development monitoring management. We believe we know that it is better to harness globally than to transition magnetically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sexy platforms but our capacity to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the capacity of solutions to aggregate. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the concept of interactive, long-term social networks. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our power to actualize. The capacity to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. The capacity to cultivate micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to transition strategically. We will transition the capacity of e-services to productize. The capability to actualize globally leads to the capability to disintermediate seamlessly. If you evolve interactively, you may have to target holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. The infomediaries factor is impactful. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think cyber-reconfigurable, resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of visionary research and development. We think that most innovative, vertical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The cyber-macro-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be social-network-based? It sounds incredible, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined CAD and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The accounting management factor is distributed. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace super-dynamically than to synergize globally. We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to embrace proactively. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to transform super-compellingly. We usually deploy cutting-edge research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will architect the aptitude of web services to incentivize. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to transform robustly than to mesh vertically. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to enhance fiercely. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "integrated".