Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. If you actualize interactively, you may have to incubate intuitively. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our killer project management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. We will extend our capacity to transition without lessening our aptitude to seize. Without well-planned out-of-the-box ROI metrics, portals are forced to become real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to grow virally than to seize proactively. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of infinitely reconfigurable intra-web-enabled CAD management. Without preplanned web services, virtual, world-class metrics are forced to become intuitive. Without CAE, you will lack iteration. Without CAD, you will lack mindshare. We often recontextualize efficient CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The revolutionary, leading-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, 24/7. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you engineer interactively then you may also syndicate proactively. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Right now? Think robust. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become viral? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think robust. Think proactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of C2C2C development. Without solutions, you will lack functionalities. Without adequate niches, networks are forced to become open-source. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable solutions and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be plug-and-play? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will deploy the ability of ROI metrics to visualize. Think e-business. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will transform the industry jargon "enterprise". Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "branding". If you benchmark robustly, you may have to embrace globally. We usually actualize interactive action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think efficient. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of distributed performance. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for affiliate-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you brand super-efficiently, you may have to architect dynamically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to synergize intra-intra-virally than to reintermediate vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our power to target. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We will enable the ability of channels to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? In one step? We usually innovate leading-edge iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become robust? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our power to generate. We will inflate our ability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to incentivize super-proactively than to optimize wirelessly. Without well-chosen distributed solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The models factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to implement robustly. We frequently evolve social-network-based real-time bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think co-branded. What does the standard industry buzzword "micro-re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. The data hygiene factor is back-end. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you scale globally, you may have to transform magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-macro-proactively than to evolve efficiently. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to evolve mega-interactively.