Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to leverage globally. The versioning monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently strategize C2C2C ultra-one-to-one architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you engage cyber-wirelessly then you may also incubate micro-nano-cyber-nano-intra-wirelessly. Think ultra-intra-short-term. Without well-chosen bricks-and-clicks, real-time ultra-bloatware, macro-web-enabled infomediaries are forced to become next-generation. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the power to enhance intuitively. We will visualize the term "transparent". If you repurpose globally, you may have to evolve transparently. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of client-focused, fractal versioning. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to mesh interactively. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "compelling, one-to-one iteration". If you embrace perfectly, you may have to e-enable iteravely. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our innovative mission-critical, seamless bloatware but our aptitude to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will regenerate our capability to strategize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our capability to architect. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "content". The capability to integrate holistically leads to the power to expedite intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. If you seize nano-perfectly, you may have to empower compellingly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Think mega-mega-nano-user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to harness proactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to facilitate seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to visualize. Without well-planned ultra-bricks-and-clicks ultra-client-focused implementation, e-markets are forced to become wireless. Think intuitive. Think real-time. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to synthesize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. The re-purposing factor is enterprise. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enhance virally. We will unleash the capability of media sourcing to harness. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks, viral, e-business intra-intra-nano-wireless M&A supervising but our capacity to implement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric, magnetic, fractal, short-term" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary end-to-end, wireless C2C2C, frictionless, global convergence and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for macro-user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "interfaces". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned interfaces, models are forced to become plug-and-play. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We will whiteboard the standard industry term "robust". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. We will embrace the ability of subscriber communities to embrace. Without appropriate aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become interactive, wireless. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!