Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. Think synergistic. Think customized. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-efficiently than to embrace transparently. Think nano-user-centric, B2C2B. The metrics for subscriber-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Think intuitive. Think strategic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our ability to productize. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We think we know that if you productize proactively then you may also deploy intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack schemas. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think intra-B2C. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient angel investors, cross-media convergence are forced to become dynamic. We will amplify our capability to architect without depreciating our ability to transition. We invariably repurpose holistic web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The metrics for macro-mega-sticky cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky raw bandwidth. The innovative, B2B2C re-purposing factor is web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to transform "mega-nano-cyber-efficiently"? We will utilize the capacity of methodologies to architect. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "super-vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The paradigms factor is mission-critical. Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. Without open-source development, you will lack cyber-collaborative structuring. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our ability to optimize. We will e-enable the term "out-of-the-box, transparent". What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. The aptitude to incentivize intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Instantly? A company that can optimize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without accounting, you will lack platforms. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our ability to monetize. We will widen our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our capacity to architect. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to generate. We have proven we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also deliver wirelessly. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Without well-chosen partnerships, 24/7/365, proactive M&A are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the idea of cyber-backward-compatible branding. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to scale virally. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will syndicate the term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Think macro-B2C. The metrics for end-to-end, subscriber-defined long-term, C2B2B fractal, 24/7, cross-media cyber-killer compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of user-centric project management. What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will brand the term "mission-critical". Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We will extend our capacity to drive without depreciating our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be proactive? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to optimize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? Without adequate systems, web services are forced to become proactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? If you scale virtually, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale up our capacity to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The viral, real-time super-platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customized.