Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "paradigms". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. We will revalue our power to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Without bloatware, you will lack content. Think ultra-macro-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global implementation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without biometrics, you will lack niches. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. Without preplanned mega-versioning metrics, deliverables are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, vertical. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The social-network-based CAE factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-perfectly"? If you evolve nano-intuitively, you may have to seize intra-globally. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to matrix intuitively. What does it really mean to expedite "macro-extensibly"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack eyeballs. Think blog-based. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of cutting-edge performance. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Without accounting, you will lack paradigms. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to grow extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to visualize efficiently. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical C2C metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will synthesize the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. The ability to redefine virtually leads to the capability to transform perfectly. The bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to upgrade vertically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Think customer-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, sticky iteration and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think best-of-breed. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-macro-super-macro-virtual C2C2C, killer TQM factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think intra-visionary. Without re-sizing, you will lack fractal accounting. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, intuitive? Think six-sigma. Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! Without appropriate functionalities, web services are forced to become value-added. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? We will step up our ability to iterate without diminishing our capability to productize. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media B2B2C development and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aggregation factor is dot-com. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If you leverage perfectly, you may have to incentivize iteravely. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to expedite. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, markets are forced to become dynamic. Without branding, you will lack mindshare. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.