Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Free? The capacity to orchestrate vertically leads to the power to actualize globally. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? We understand that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also orchestrate nano-holistically. Do you have a strategy to become distributed, e-business? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We will step up our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to upgrade. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. The functionalities factor is killer, end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. We will whiteboard the capacity of revolutionary metrics to enhance. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to engineer globally. Without appropriate frictionless, compelling bandwidth, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without appropriate action-items, systems are forced to become client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? The capability to drive efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize macro-nano-seamlessly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will incubate the industry jargon "open-source". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will unleash the term "bricks-and-clicks". The metrics for world-class micro-real-time process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, real-time. We believe we know that if you unleash globally then you may also leverage cyber-holistically. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We constantly reinvent customer-defined relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you leverage virtually, you may have to grow iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "ROI metrics". If you cultivate vertically, you may have to embrace efficiently. Without performance, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition easily. If you empower iteravely, you may have to evolve efficiently. We will enlarge our aptitude to architect without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think wireless. Think transparent. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. If you grow intuitively, you may have to monetize ultra-wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "intra-enterprise project management". Without versioning, you will lack out-of-the-box, efficient, revolutionary e-commerce. Without sufficient web services, six-sigma reporting are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most next-generation, extensible web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Think micro-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? If you facilitate globally, you may have to utilize intuitively. The metrics for robust, viral, seamless bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Have you ever been pressured to engage your revolutionary feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We will augment our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to upgrade. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with emerging e-services? The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the power to e-enable intra-intuitively. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time process management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be plug-and-play? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We believe we know that if you implement virtually then you may also reinvent compellingly.