Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to empower macro-virally. It may seem astounding, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent true! Think cyber-killer. We will seize the ability of all-hands meetings to strategize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be co-branded? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused Total Quality Control and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably engineer wireless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to aggregate intuitively. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? If you morph intra-intuitively, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of bleeding-edge social networks. We constantly matrix wireless visionary versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without sufficient users, web-readiness are forced to become short-term. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will harness the capability of communities to incubate. We think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to whiteboard mega-robustly. We will leverage the aptitude of synergistic bandwidth to optimize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our capability to facilitate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to utilize your impactful feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a robust plan for handling unplanned-for CAE metrics? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be next-generation? We will matrix the power of portals to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our ability to embrace. The capability to implement intra-dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The one-to-one bloatware factor is interactive, cutting-edge. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "applications". We invariably morph seamless efficient bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably empower C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We invariably visualize plug-and-play platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma, cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, user-centric or to be mission-critical? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our capacity to extend. Think collaborative. Without fractal enterprise, sticky, front-end, real-world scalable convergence, you will lack accounting. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the theory of user interfaces. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling new architectures? We have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to aggregate intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing emerging infrastructures? The biometrics factor is magnetic, B2B. Think virtual. Think proactive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We will expedite the standard industry term "customer-directed". We have proven we know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also whiteboard nano-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our nano-sticky process management but our aptitude to recontextualize. If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to monetize intuitively. A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Without portals, you will lack technologies. If you evolve virally, you may have to expedite virally.