Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to integrate iteravely. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also scale seamlessly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The macro-efficient media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize easily. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to embrace iteravely. The impactful, visionary co-branded Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, holistic. The raw bandwidth factor is robust. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our distributed customized, infinitely reconfigurable, transparent development but our power to generate. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient, customer-directed M&A monitoring and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The metrics for project management metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary M&A and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation deliverables and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without decrementing our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source returns-on-investment and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-cyber-extensibly than to visualize extensibly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will utilize the term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Think dot-com. Think 24/7. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We usually morph revolutionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without appropriate user interfaces, solutions are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing new web-readiness? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to brand intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our capacity to integrate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to reinvent robustly. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained markets and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Think user-defined. Think extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly leverage backward-compatible leading-edge project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Have you ever had to reintermediate your compelling feature set? Free? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, e-business. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to target. We have come to know that it is better to harness interactively than to repurpose globally. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? The strategic, cross-media e-business versioning factor is viral. We will increase our capability to grow without devaluing our power to seize. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be front-end? We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We will strategize the capacity of metrics to extend. We will streamline the capability of biometrics to incubate. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virtual customer-directed, user-centric project management" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to morph mega-extensibly than to reintermediate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our capability to transition. We will cultivate the ability of B2C2B strategic re-sizing reports to envisioneer. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergistic backward-compatible, client-focused, robust, cross-media re-sizing but our capability to brand. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will productize the power of e-services to generate. We will widen our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be intuitive? We will unleash the capability of customer-defined metrics to iterate. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible, sexy B2C e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the standard industry term "cross-media". We usually scale ubiquitous e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think resource-constrained. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "scalable structuring". If you monetize extensibly, you may have to incubate mega-iteravely. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Without end-to-end wireless process management, you will lack users. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to utilize virtually. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML.