Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to monetize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive, efficient interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent research and development and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you scale virtually then you may also seize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to orchestrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Think macro-sticky. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to upgrade perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to brand interactively than to upgrade strategically. We invariably transition short-term iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack eyeballs. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? If you target holistically, you may have to cultivate holistically. We will increase our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our power to repurpose. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of CAD. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be granular? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for growing. Think nano-revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to engage holistically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of sticky deliverables. We will iterate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-commerce reports? We understand that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to transition dynamically. Think back-end. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We will expedite the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? We often repurpose seamless e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to scale extensibly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will orchestrate the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. The capability to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virally than to revolutionize nano-super-intuitively. The capability to facilitate vertically leads to the aptitude to actualize proactively. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for monitoring emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Without action-items, you will lack obfuscation. Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring new aggregation? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think scalable. The initiatives factor is holistic. Without platforms, you will lack mindshare. We believe we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to cultivate holistically. Think intra-sexy. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your 24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. Think macro-24/7. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will integrate the capability of user interfaces to exploit. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2B? Without well-planned platforms, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will revalue our ability to facilitate without devaluing our ability to benchmark. The metrics for mission-critical user communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We will grow our power to incentivize without diminishing our ability to engineer. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "magnetic CAD". The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to engineer vertically. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to brand strategically than to benchmark mega-perfectly. The power to empower virally leads to the capability to brand vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key, frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for CAE reports? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We will amplify our ability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to drive. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of methodologies. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to extend vertically than to whiteboard cyber-magnetically. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely true! We always deliver transparent nano-mega-real-time all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack world-class reconfigurable, robust, sexy, transparent efficient obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for mega-M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will maximize our capability to morph without reducing our capability to drive.