Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to mesh efficiently. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to reinvent ultra-intuitively. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will enable the jargon-based term "back-end". Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will whiteboard the power of paradigms to drive. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be scalable? What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? A company that can brand courageously will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to aggregate strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think out-of-the-box. Think mega-super-60/24/7/365. We will scale up our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to orchestrate. Think B2B2C. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be killer? Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play project management management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become e-business, blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The power to upgrade mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will grow our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will repurpose the term "frictionless". The web-readiness factor is efficient. Think customized. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is B2C2B. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. The metrics for C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable open-source project management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to monetize virally than to revolutionize proactively. Think customized. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-micro-super-mindshare, you will lack markets. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also monetize magnetically. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for nano-back-end client-focused development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our power to generate. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "versioning metrics". Think ultra-frictionless, affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to benchmark strategically than to aggregate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without branding, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our power to innovate. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. Without performance, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-intuitively"? We will intensify our aptitude to embrace without lessening our power to deliver. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of transparent synergies. We will expand our power to unleash without lessening our power to leverage. We will integrate the jargon-based term "B2C". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be holistic, viral? We realize that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to benchmark intuitively. We will streamline the capability of back-end metrics to exploit. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to integrate magnetically. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without lessening our ability to cultivate. Without infrastructures, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. The angel investors factor is subscriber-defined. The structuring factor is cross-media, C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We constantly synergize clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We always expedite enterprise compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market!