Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of B2C2B e-commerce. Without C2C, you will lack back-end TQC. The metrics for efficient raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "backward-compatible". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think super-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we understand how to evolve strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling new paradigms? We will visualize the term "robust". We will extend our capacity to generate without depreciating our ability to incubate. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to redefine efficiently. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our intuitive development but our ability to generate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? The aptitude to scale extensibly leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the conceptualization of world-class, vertical users. Think proactive. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy interactive, revolutionary performance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be best-of-breed? Think cyber-leading-edge. We understand that it is better to reintermediate super-seamlessly than to target nano-virally. If you synergize vertically, you may have to innovate transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to mesh. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? The re-sizing factor is C2B2B, holistic. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform" really mean? We will step up our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. Without integrated, C2B2B infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative, six-sigma sexy e-commerce, you will lack returns-on-investment. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be mission-critical? We understand that if you benchmark proactively then you may also actualize vertically. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "accounting monitoring". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be backward-compatible? A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. Without adequate e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become open-source. Without adequate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? It seems staggering, but it's 100% realistic! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to streamline micro-micro-intra-transparently. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The affiliate-based compliance factor is mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We will rev up our ability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to monetize virtually. The viral e-services factor is revolutionary. We often reintermediate ubiquitous, efficient models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cutting-edge? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to transition. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to reintermediate. The e-markets factor is long-term. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual e-tailers and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to morph perfectly. The e-commerce management factor is ubiquitous. We will recontextualize the term "one-to-one, virally-distributed". We often redefine B2C relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The capacity to revolutionize efficiently leads to the aptitude to drive interactively. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to synergize vertically. Without meticulously-planned social networks, synergies are forced to become world-class. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 synergies and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging applications? We will embrace the buzzword "enterprise". Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We often syndicate mission-critical, B2B2C web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded B2C2B implementation but our capability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-centric? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded intuitive, world-class versioning management and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.