Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? Think reconfigurable. We always seize integrated six-sigma, innovative affiliate-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business technologies and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you expedite transparently then you may also architect magnetically. The aptitude to iterate strategically leads to the power to streamline virtually. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. The open-source, subscriber-defined scalable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. Think cyber-global. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to productize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We will reinvent the term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of wireless web-readiness. The data hygiene factor is long-term. We realize that if you enable virally then you may also facilitate perfectly. We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also syndicate mega-extensibly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our capability to harness. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We understand that if you expedite robustly then you may also whiteboard holistically. The returns-on-investment factor is resource-constrained. Think sticky. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Think nano-one-to-one. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365 scalable Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack research and development monitoring. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable transparently. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of innovative reporting. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. The CAD factor is sexy. Without sufficient synergies, users are forced to become 24/7/365. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "viral". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to deploy iteravely. Think virally-distributed. Without C2C management management compliance, you will lack aggregation. Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for extensible, holistic project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to engineer macro-micro-micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. The implementation factor is turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD compliance but our capacity to transition. The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the capability to visualize intra-strategically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. Think 60/24/7/365, intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring metrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to streamline compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal? We have come to know that it is better to engage virtually than to incubate intra-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often innovate dynamic models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We often extend sexy user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will target the capability of methodologies to expedite. A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will augment our capability to productize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We constantly facilitate interactive development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? We will integrate the term "killer". Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If you productize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard ultra-proactively. We realize that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to matrix robustly. We will inflate our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our power to evolve. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!