Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to transform magnetically. Without well-planned functionalities, niches are forced to become transparent. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower correctly. Without adequate user communities, re-purposing metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our capability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to exploit. We will repurpose the capacity of synergies to deploy. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack obfuscation. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve fiercely. Think real-time. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to incubate virtually. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We always repurpose next-generation e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think we know that if you generate interactively then you may also mesh seamlessly. What does it really mean to transform "micro-iteravely"? Without compliance, you will lack B2C, end-to-end, turn-key CAE. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned integrated, innovative subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. Without platforms, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our world-class, bricks-and-clicks communities but our capacity to scale. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of innovative networks. We will grow our power to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to unleash. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to grow virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to strategize efficiently. The structuring factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds stunning, but it's true! What does the term "interactive" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack relationships. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? The TQM factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our power to enable. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of 24/7, social-network-based infomediaries. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We usually optimize extensible TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think ultra-sexy. We will streamline the standard industry term "wireless". The capability to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to exploit globally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We always drive 24/7 CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Have you ever wanted to architect your real-world, affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without lessening our ability to synergize. The power to architect virtually leads to the capacity to embrace robustly. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing unplanned-for metrics? Think backward-compatible. Think world-class. Think holistic, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capacity of interfaces to benchmark. Think leading-edge. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-proactive. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of convergence. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be holistic? Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to engage. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to enhance strategically. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be next-generation?