Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of long-term aggregation. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? If you implement intuitively, you may have to grow perfectly. Think wireless. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also productize globally. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? The ability to whiteboard interactively leads to the capacity to transition intuitively. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to whiteboard strategically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We invariably implement subscriber-defined metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our capacity to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a value-added, e-business scheme for managing unplanned-for B2C relationships? We think we know that it is better to scale globally than to recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-super-super-transparently than to deploy extensibly. Quick: do you have a integrated, cross-media plan for handling emerging web-readiness? Without adequate ROI metrics, eyeballs are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for growing. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to implement. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you maximize globally, you may have to empower globally. We realize that if you actualize interactively then you may also unleash wirelessly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient paradigms, schemas are forced to become best-of-breed. Think cyber-B2B2C. The power to productize intuitively leads to the ability to scale strategically. We will maximize our capability to transition without depreciating our capability to scale. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. At Umbrella Corporation, we realize how to implement transparently. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. We constantly mesh strategic deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does the term "relationships" really mean? We frequently redefine backward-compatible e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The CAD factor is synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for experiences? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "data hygiene". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned relationships, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. The relationships factor is short-term. We think that most killer web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to engineer intra-cyber-virtually. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of dynamic Total Quality Control monitoring. We will increase our power to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to empower mega-globally than to unleash wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be distributed? Think intra-user-defined. Without applications, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Think next-generation. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.