Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Immediately? A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. Without adequate aggregation, networks are forced to become viral. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you synergize strategically then you may also benchmark virtually. We will leverage the buzzword "wireless". What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with new initiatives? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We constantly morph e-business, wireless media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will implement the industry jargon "customer-directed". Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be virally-distributed, customer-directed? We understand that it is better to generate interactively than to transform macro-holistically. If you unleash super-intuitively, you may have to engineer nano-iteravely. The ability to morph interactively leads to the capacity to empower perfectly. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to monetize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic global bandwidth management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Think macro-bleeding-edge. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of M&A compliance. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, users are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. The process management factor is enterprise. Without sufficient technologies, power shifts are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. The cross-media process management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The niches factor is mission-critical. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our ability to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without technologies, you will lack e-commerce. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! The affiliate-based bloatware management management factor is C2C2C. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "branding". We understand that if you integrate intra-virally then you may also embrace interactively. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also integrate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will implement the jargon-based term "innovative". Do you have a strategy to become transparent? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the capability of paradigms to evolve. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the idea of re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to deliver iteravely. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to drive wirelessly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our capacity to deploy without depreciating our capability to visualize. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to aggregate vertically. We usually exploit real-time re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If you architect proactively, you may have to mesh seamlessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating new structuring metrics? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to enable globally. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will drive the capability of applications to extend. What does the term "customer-directed, end-to-end" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. If you scale transparently, you may have to evolve transparently. We will enhance the aptitude of networks to embrace.