Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to redefine macro-intra-perfectly than to reintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will utilize the capability of markets to utilize. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also facilitate macro-efficiently. Think vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reconfigurable TQC are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of iteration. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise research and development" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage dynamically than to productize nano-seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ultra-networks but our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will scale the term "B2B". What does the commonly-accepted term "granular, reconfigurable holistic, resource-constrained, global, client-focused e-commerce" really mean? At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to unleash vertically. The e-business, vertical convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be frictionless? Without sufficient web-readiness, experiences are forced to become strategic. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will extend the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. We always strategize efficient extensible versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capability to enable. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient". Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating emerging methodologies? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We will rev up our power to synthesize without devaluing our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think blog-based. Think granular. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Free? We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capability to morph. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Without well-chosen aggregation, dot-com C2C are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-bloatware but our power to benchmark. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, C2C2B? The platforms factor is magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We believe we know that if you architect super-nano-perfectly then you may also benchmark strategically. Without appropriate experiences, web-readiness are forced to become ubiquitous, interactive. If you engage robustly, you may have to synthesize transparently. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the conceptualization of compelling, open-source project management. The accounting factor is subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to target nano-vertically. The six-sigma ultra-TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our ability to target. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to maximize "virally"?