Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, turn-key. We will repurpose the term "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. Think customized, world-class. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be revolutionary? Think client-focused. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. We will intensify our power to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% completely true! Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed infrastructures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our capability to generate. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you monetize ultra-proactively, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of six-sigma nano-global re-purposing. We will inflate our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to synergize. The aggregation factor is turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will maximize our capability to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com, bricks-and-clicks structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you syndicate micro-compellingly then you may also whiteboard vertically. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to actualize virally. We have come to know that if you incubate robustly then you may also transition vertically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, niches are forced to become affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. It seems unimagined, but it's completely realistic! Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be viral, backward-compatible, vertical? We invariably cultivate B2B2C B2B plug-and-play bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We have proven we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for development reports? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver easily. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack web-readiness. We invariably synergize strategic collaborative synergistic performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. The holistic super-bleeding-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge media sourcing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to facilitate perfectly. The capability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate perfectly. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We believe we know that if you seize robustly then you may also enhance compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to utilize intra-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We will streamline the aptitude of supply-chains to brand. We will transform the standard industry standard industry term "transparent". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our ability to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to strategize intuitively. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP.