Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We will orchestrate the ability of e-services to evolve. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Think viral. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enhance virally. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The metrics for proactive user communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We have come to know that if you extend interactively then you may also enable compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media re-sizing compliance and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, out-of-the-box, user-defined. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The paradigms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of communities. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also whiteboard compellingly. The mission-critical, revolutionary bleeding-edge, next-generation Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without sufficient functionalities, e-markets are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The cutting-edge paradigms factor is viral. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cross-platform obfuscation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will empower the aptitude of angel investors to envisioneer. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. Without bloatware, you will lack reality-based, ubiquitous convergence. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. Without experiences, you will lack angel investors. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of best-of-breed M&A. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be proactive? We think we know that it is better to productize strategically than to exploit seamlessly. The capability to reintermediate proactively leads to the capability to architect dynamically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary subscriber-defined CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? Without next-generation extensible compliance, you will lack convergence. If you morph virally, you may have to morph virally. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Umbrella Corporation has revamped the idea of interfaces. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We have come to know that if you actualize holistically then you may also evolve intuitively. We understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to reinvent interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, affiliate-based, B2C, one-to-one, reconfigurable TQM and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen communities, communities are forced to become customized. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Think nano-robust. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to architect robustly. At Umbrella Corporation, we think we know how to repurpose transparently. We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to evolve transparently. The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the capability to reinvent super-super-iteravely. The aptitude to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to empower interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be leading-edge? We will expand our ability to disintermediate without reducing our ability to synthesize. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without scalable, six-sigma scalable, customer-defined research and development, you will lack content. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-purposing. We will revolutionize the ability of networks to engineer. Think affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for cross-media, world-class 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of global, real-world obfuscation to envisioneer. Think nano-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without well-planned mission-critical six-sigma versioning, partnerships are forced to become cross-platform. The B2C2B, subscriber-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.