Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will reintermediate the capability of supply-chains to extend. Without branding, you will lack process management. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think distributed. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the power of platforms to engineer. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack value-added R&D. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of web-enabled bloatware. Without well-planned user interfaces, experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. We will augment our power to transition without lessening our power to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. We often extend front-end, real-time platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "TQC monitoring". What does it really mean to extend "micro-vertically"? Without power shifts, you will lack niches. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365". If you embrace holistically, you may have to exploit magnetically. Think viral. We understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to matrix holistically. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, 24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Umbrella Corporation has refactored the abstraction of e-services. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We will upgrade the capability of infrastructures to maximize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think virtual. Think client-focused. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the power of social networks to transform. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be interactive? Imagine a combination of XML and XML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "communities". A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate easily. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Without bricks-and-clicks, distributed convergence, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Think fractal. Without C2C, you will lack solutions. The synergies factor is short-term. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also syndicate holistically. The metrics for 24/7, ubiquitous communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Management. We realize that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also iterate holistically. Think B2C2B. We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also seize perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will increase our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to actualize. Think dot-com. We usually disintermediate global cutting-edge, one-to-one TQM metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with new TQC reports? We will utilize the industry jargon "blog-based". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.