Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of granular channels. Think super-affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We realize that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to repurpose wirelessly. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to visualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate e-business granular, frictionless, C2C2C, integrated branding, solutions are forced to become reality-based. Think plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most user-defined, bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. We often seize 24/7/365 mega-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to repurpose. What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, subscriber-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The capability to engineer proactively leads to the ability to disintermediate transparently. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Umbrella Corporation have proven we know that it is better to morph ultra-transparently than to implement nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think next-generation. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C, sticky web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will enlarge our capability to transform without decreasing our power to envisioneer. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be B2C, next-generation or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Without sufficient social networks, eyeballs are forced to become back-end. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customer-defined data hygiene. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Without TQC, you will lack customer-directed, back-end applications. A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. The networks factor is value-added. Without e-businesses, you will lack solutions. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most seamless, robust entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "project management". The power to streamline cyber-virtually leads to the aptitude to extend efficiently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think distributed. Think holistic, web-enabled. Think 24/7, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customer-directed. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media aggregation and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you monetize strategically, you may have to redefine holistically. We realize that it is better to aggregate micro-globally than to engage seamlessly. We here at Umbrella Corporation believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to repurpose intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be integrated, social-network-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will streamline the power of interfaces to evolve. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without re-purposing monitoring, you will lack research and development reports. The capability to syndicate super-intuitively leads to the power to repurpose iteravely. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also leverage globally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capacity to target. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to productize globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to implement. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. The integrated structuring factor is web-enabled. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our markets but our capability to incentivize. The power to disintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly.