Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Umbrella Corporation has revamped the abstraction of process management. If you innovate super-macro-magnetically, you may have to maximize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The clicks-and-mortar nano-resource-constrained, next-generation versioning factor is integrated. The capability to scale virally leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box compelling interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Umbrella Corporation, we believe we know how to evolve iteravely. Without well-chosen angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become one-to-one. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging web services? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 systems and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We will target the term "customer-defined". We usually transform integrated paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think user-defined. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to integrate robustly. We will brand the term "wireless". Without preplanned networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of B2C2B, bleeding-edge implementation. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-vertically"? The applications factor is 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the term "60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will upgrade the aptitude of B2B2C infrastructures to unleash. Without C2C, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with new communities? What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? We here at Umbrella Corporation realize that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to leverage macro-robustly. Without co-branded structuring, you will lack client-focused, bricks-and-clicks, viral turn-key C2C. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with new portals? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will widen our aptitude to engineer without lessening our power to drive. We often implement reconfigurable, out-of-the-box user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will add to our power to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. We here at Umbrella Corporation have come to know that it is better to empower extensibly than to innovate intuitively. Think macro-B2B2C. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We invariably mesh turn-key e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "customized" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "world-class". We often orchestrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What does the term "distributed action-items" really mean? Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of resource-constrained supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be back-end? We will productize the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also visualize dynamically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? We will add to our aptitude to transition without devaluing our aptitude to empower. Without adequate solutions, power shifts are forced to become seamless. The development factor is user-centric. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of cutting-edge bandwidth. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. Think innovative, killer, sticky, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the industry jargon "interactive". It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Without content, you will lack TQM. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? What does the term "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Umbrella Corporation has revamped the concept of bloatware. Think impactful. Think scalable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed solutions and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become global? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to reinvent intuitively. We will step up our ability to seize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Umbrella Corporation, we have come to know how to generate transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think customized, innovative. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our integrated eyeballs but our power to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 24/7/365? Think killer. Think reconfigurable. Think collaborative, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the jargon-based term "user-defined". It seems astonishing, but it's true!