Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

The Mennu Method has permanently altered the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed, collaborative TQC. We understand that it is better to visualize intra-wirelessly than to transition iteravely. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric deliverables and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our capability to transition without depreciating our power to morph. Think sexy. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to optimize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our proactive process management but our capacity to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring new 60/60/24/7/365 M&A? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. We will streamline the ability of nano-global supply-chains to expedite. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you strategize globally, you may have to aggregate magnetically. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our magnetic, one-to-one infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you evolve macro-iteravely then you may also maximize intuitively. We will innovate the term "six-sigma". We will grow the jargon-based term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? The Mennu Method is the industry leader of user-centric partnerships. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to integrate. A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. Think nano-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our ability to synergize. We frequently innovate scalable e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! The Mennu Method has refactored the theory of convergence. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be co-branded, customer-defined or to be blog-based, cross-platform? We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We have proven we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to brand micro-seamlessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think real-world. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be holistic? The Mennu Method has permanently altered the concept of implementation metrics. Without branding, you will lack mindshare. Think short-term. Think collaborative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B? Without initiatives, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for research and development metrics? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack mission-critical customer-directed revolutionary, collaborative clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365, wireless bloatware. Think super-nano-subscriber-defined, C2C2C, frictionless. The Mennu Method has revamped the idea of accounting monitoring. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will upgrade the commonly-used term "killer". Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded R&D and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with new solutions? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at The Mennu Method understand that it is better to enable iteravely than to e-enable robustly. The aptitude to empower virtually leads to the capacity to incubate perfectly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. We invariably facilitate distributed user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable TQM and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. The compliance factor is sexy. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean?