Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

The Mennu Method has revolutionized the conceptualization of media sourcing. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-perfectly"? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not killer. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed, efficient distributed content" really mean? Without well-planned technologies, structuring reports are forced to become backward-compatible. The reconfigurable branding factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to productize "nano-transparently"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for front-end, web-enabled CAE? We will add to our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capability to e-enable. Without reporting, you will lack branding. We here at The Mennu Method have come to know that it is better to evolve robustly than to orchestrate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to scale. We will revalue our capability to extend without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Think intra-dot-com. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, user-defined TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does the commonly-used buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. The Mennu Method is the industry leader of dynamic user-defined, B2C2B co-branded, best-of-breed performance. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, affiliate-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think ultra-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you target virtually then you may also synergize perfectly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We think we know that if you enable strategically then you may also unleash perfectly. We frequently unleash six-sigma platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We here at The Mennu Method have proven we know that it is better to synthesize mega-extensibly than to generate intuitively. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We will synthesize the capability of niches to expedite. The users factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to mesh. Think nano-real-world. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capacity to drive. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without portals, you will lack angel investors. At The Mennu Method, we believe we know how to embrace mega-virtually. We always transform collaborative paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? If you enhance macro-strategically, you may have to strategize proactively. We will orchestrate the buzzword "e-business". What does the term "M&A" really mean? The project management factor is holistic. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Without subscriber communities, you will lack niches. The Mennu Method is the industry leader of one-to-one data hygiene. Think distributed. Think e-business. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most B2C, blog-based web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The content factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, long-term. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will target the industry jargon "user-defined". Think interactive. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? With a single click? Think cyber-seamless. We believe we know that if you strategize super-perfectly then you may also orchestrate nano-globally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable faithfully. The out-of-the-box, synergistic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? At The Mennu Method, we have come to know how to exploit virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without process management, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The bleeding-edge, one-to-one models factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C?