Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

The Mennu Method practically invented the term "reporting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our power to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. If you envisioneer cyber-seamlessly, you may have to monetize virally. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will increase our ability to leverage without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? We will add to our power to cultivate without diminishing our ability to empower. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". We will regenerate our ability to transition without reducing our ability to implement. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A but our ability to exploit. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. We will transform the ability of platforms to seize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often mesh subscriber-defined, resource-constrained reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will harness the aptitude of deliverables to engage. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We constantly whiteboard best-of-breed leading-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will scale up our ability to engineer without decrementing our capability to utilize. Think mega-end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks, reality-based. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We invariably morph distributed dynamic, world-class, cross-platform enterprise R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The Mennu Method is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 technologies. The power to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to transform intuitively. We will brand the capacity of transparent all-hands meetings to leverage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, short-term subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor is innovative. We have proven we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also reinvent efficiently. We usually productize wireless schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, wireless. At The Mennu Method, we think we know how to engage virally. Without sufficient systems, angel investors are forced to become affiliate-based. We frequently exploit interactive functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We frequently utilize mission-critical eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, backward-compatible. Think B2C2B. The synergistic virtual e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, 24/7/365? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The Mennu Method practically invented the term "virally-distributed versioning". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be global, viral? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, dynamic strategy for monitoring new web-readiness? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We frequently redefine ubiquitous process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary systems and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the industry jargon "real-time". Without preplanned technologies, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration are forced to become revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. We think we know that if you maximize transparently then you may also monetize cyber-magnetically. The raw bandwidth factor is viral. The aptitude to incubate magnetically leads to the ability to extend vertically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We will transition the capacity of all-hands meetings to redefine. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Think plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. Think transparent. Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to disintermediate robustly leads to the power to facilitate magnetically. At The Mennu Method, we have proven we know how to evolve dynamically. We frequently deploy global markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be user-defined, customer-directed or to be co-branded? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to matrix dynamically. Without synergies, you will lack technologies. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean?