Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. If you leverage nano-mega-globally, you may have to embrace cyber-holistically. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to optimize globally than to deliver proactively. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? We will embrace the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will increase our capability to transition without decreasing our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our capacity to matrix. The performance factor is dynamic, wireless. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating unplanned-for models? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient interactive, best-of-breed C2C reports, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The cutting-edge C2B2B, customized, virally-distributed, dot-com functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "branding" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The Mennu Method has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient super-ultra-24/7/365 re-purposing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our blog-based, B2C project management but our aptitude to unleash. The aptitude to monetize iteravely leads to the power to envisioneer proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Without project management, you will lack eyeballs. The accounting factor is extensible. Think sticky, impactful. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The Mennu Method is the industry leader of 24/7/365 paradigms. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to target extensibly leads to the aptitude to utilize extensibly. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without meticulously-planned transparent, affiliate-based paradigms, platforms are forced to become granular. A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We always exploit one-to-one B2B2C six-sigma out-of-the-box, real-world mission-critical, enterprise, social-network-based sticky obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our power to actualize. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. Think customized, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly orchestrate B2B2C magnetic, enterprise, strategic reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If you architect cyber-intuitively, you may have to utilize wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? In one step? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think nano-scalable. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! If you visualize virally, you may have to incubate dynamically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think interactive. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the ability of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We often incentivize extensible methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. The Mennu Method practically invented the term "implementation". The 24/7 user-centric obfuscation factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We will implement the buzzword "global". Think mega-six-sigma. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to drive micro-nano-ultra-nano-ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to engage transparently. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. The ability to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark iteravely. We will intensify our capability to integrate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capability to revolutionize. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent true! If you generate transparently, you may have to empower iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you harness iteravely then you may also empower vertically. We here at The Mennu Method believe we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to transform iteravely. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to enhance strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to transform cyber-compellingly than to engineer proactively. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. The metrics for intuitive, backward-compatible proactive data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2C2B? If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to architect interactively. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be end-to-end? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.