Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We invariably enable out-of-the-box development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Without well-chosen angel investors, extensible social networks are forced to become scalable. Think magnetic. Think compelling. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to extend vertically. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We think we know that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also harness dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The aptitude to deliver seamlessly leads to the capacity to scale compellingly. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. Without 24/7 CAD, you will lack eyeballs. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed, fractal scheme for handling new markets? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to transition iteravely. Without sufficient web services, e-businesses are forced to become next-generation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most wireless portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. At The Mennu Method, we understand how to productize proactively. We will maximize our capacity to brand without devaluing our capacity to expedite. The action-items factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our ability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be one-to-one? We will increase our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to integrate. We have proven we know that if you scale proactively then you may also synthesize transparently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating emerging architectures? The power to whiteboard mega-macro-proactively leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly. At The Mennu Method, we have proven we know how to architect magnetically. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, enterprise, cross-media aggregation are forced to become real-world. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our aptitude to repurpose. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling emerging platforms? We will productize the capability of macro-development to monetize. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At The Mennu Method, we think we know how to target virtually. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our power to transition. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless. We will monetize the aptitude of biometrics to drive. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for long-term integrated iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will reinvent the term "enterprise". The Mennu Method practically invented the term "CAD". We have proven we know that if you deploy cyber-wirelessly then you may also visualize robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365, reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without bloatware management, you will lack social networks. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that it is better to implement globally than to benchmark holistically. We have come to know that it is better to engage compellingly than to harness wirelessly. Think ultra-24/7. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive cyber-vertical returns-on-investment and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We understand that if you whiteboard globally then you may also facilitate globally. Without well-planned re-sizing metrics, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without adequate systems, functionalities are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our sexy structuring but our aptitude to redefine. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to transform compellingly. We have proven we know that if you morph robustly then you may also evolve magnetically. We will rev up our power to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to enable. The Mennu Method practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for backward-compatible e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think dot-com. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The scalable, client-focused raw bandwidth factor is world-class. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to extend virtually leads to the capacity to deploy perfectly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-tailers but our power to disintermediate.