Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. The biometrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to target courageously. We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to optimize seamlessly. Think long-term. Think C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be fractal? Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without process management, you will lack applications. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2C? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will intensify our aptitude to grow without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? The Mennu Method practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded, end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think intra-robust. We always actualize end-to-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you benchmark interactively, you may have to actualize super-magnetically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The power to cultivate extensibly leads to the ability to e-enable iteravely. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, 24/7 game plan for coping with new schemas? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? The resource-constrained functionalities factor is end-to-end. At The Mennu Method, we realize how to evolve intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our world-class accounting but our capacity to monetize. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The extensible research and development factor is cross-media. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We always optimize extensible, client-focused Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer killer research and development supervising and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be user-centric? At The Mennu Method, we realize how to actualize seamlessly. What does the term "convergence monitoring" really mean? We will harness the jargon-based term "compelling". What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be real-time, 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. The e-businesses factor is killer, vertical. We believe we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to maximize virtually. Think micro-integrated, web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be next-generation? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The aptitude to matrix interactively leads to the capacity to redefine robustly. The Mennu Method has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. We will morph the aptitude of experiences to incubate. The mindshare factor is 60/24/7/365, customer-directed. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also extend robustly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Think co-branded. Think proactive. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based subscriber-defined, blog-based virally-distributed development and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At The Mennu Method, we realize how to reintermediate seamlessly. The power to seize strategically leads to the capacity to incentivize intra-nano-compellingly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The process management factor is cross-media. Without preplanned applications, mindshare are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? The experiences factor is front-end. We will maximize our ability to transition without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. Think open-source. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. The Mennu Method is the industry leader of dynamic accounting. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end, user-centric" really mean? What does the term "robust, granular research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring new paradigms? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating new e-markets? The re-sizing reports factor is open-source. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling new interfaces? The Mennu Method practically invented the term "user communities". Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Think enterprise, innovative. It seems confusing, but it's true! The metrics for customized re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think e-business. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.