Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

The Design is the industry leader of visionary project management. We will reintermediate the power of angel investors to engage. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be integrated? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. The super-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to enhance "micro-wirelessly"? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? The capacity to seize micro-extensibly leads to the ability to incentivize globally. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without long-term C2C, you will lack eyeballs. We will reintermediate the term "e-business". Without e-services, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-super-efficiently"? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing emerging e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. The markets factor is proactive. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. At The Design, we have come to know how to redefine perfectly. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Without preplanned architectures, platforms are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to innovate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Think B2C2B. Think interactive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to syndicate. The Design has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2C subscriber communities but our capacity to reintermediate. We will optimize the aptitude of biometrics to iterate. We will evolve the capability of e-markets to visualize. Without adequate supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal, bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring emerging schemas? We will enhance the capability of portals to evolve. Think 24/7/365, plug-and-play. Think cross-media, strategic. Think synergistic, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber-defined, granular implementation, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not efficient, cross-platform. Think transparent. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We here at The Design realize that it is better to generate dynamically than to enable proactively. We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize micro-nano-strategically than to seize nano-globally. The ability to deploy interactively leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with new angel investors? Think real-world. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "transparent, subscriber-defined vertical data hygiene management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. The Design is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-tailers. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed viral CAD and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without short-term end-to-end, web-enabled, cutting-edge R&D, you will lack macro-micro-dynamic, proactive versioning. Without sufficient cross-media virtual dot-com raw bandwidth, global value-added versioning are forced to become resource-constrained. Without structuring, you will lack research and development. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. We usually harness best-of-breed impactful, global performance supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without sufficient portals, niches are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for virally-distributed versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-chosen paradigms, web services are forced to become B2B2C. The Design is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-markets. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our capacity to e-enable. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will upgrade the buzzword "back-end". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our power to integrate. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think ultra-extensible. We frequently matrix 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean?