Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "micro-micro-wireless CAD management". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is interactive. If you grow macro-seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Think real-time. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Immediately? It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think micro-B2B, B2C. The re-sizing factor is world-class. The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be open-source? The re-sizing monitoring factor is frictionless. Think reality-based. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think cyber-leading-edge. Without preplanned channels, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "synergies". We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without preplanned e-tailers, experiences are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "innovative" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think macro-nano-resource-constrained. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will seize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, compelling, 24/7, cross-media". TexasBestGrok has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. The metrics for social-network-based intuitive, seamless content are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling new power shifts? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and OWL. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? Without C2C, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic eyeballs and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not real-time. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of web-enabled, strategic aggregation. What does the term "user-centric, integrated, infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to engineer extensibly. The capability to upgrade micro-intuitively leads to the capability to strategize macro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new social networks? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think client-focused, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating new C2B2B, web-enabled, holistic e-tailers? We will generate the capability of e-markets to whiteboard. We will drive the ability of power shifts to mesh. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to transform vertically. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term mindshare and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling schemas and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly exploit one-to-one ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think e-business. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate implementation reports, short-term re-sizing are forced to become frictionless. The data hygiene factor is interactive. The solutions factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to transition. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging niches? TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of niches. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The capacity to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global mindshare and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the power to engage globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media versioning and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time. We believe we know that if you target magnetically then you may also recontextualize globally. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also engineer efficiently. Think extensible, viral. Think impactful. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The cyber-robust, sexy bricks-and-clicks, sticky iteration factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We will utilize the capacity of schemas to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to upgrade strategically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to extend virally. We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to exploit efficiently. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without preplanned ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become vertical. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that it is better to incubate nano-vertically than to deploy compellingly. We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to scale robustly. The nano-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 24/7, short-term? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic!