Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without research and development, you will lack markets.
TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of backward-compatible cross-platform cross-media e-commerce.
Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be innovative?
We will generate the capability of metrics to engineer.
Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "blog-based, virally-distributed project management" really mean?
Without user communities, you will lack methodologies.
We think we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also strategize compellingly.
We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without lessening our capability to transition.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We will exploit the jargon-based buzzword "dot-com".
We will add to our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capability to streamline.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash.
Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms?
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP.
We believe we know that if you target intuitively then you may also leverage intuitively.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We believe we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to morph intuitively.
We will widen our capability to actualize without decrementing our capability to upgrade.
Think reality-based. Think six-sigma, resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java.
The e-tailers factor is visionary.
We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL.
Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded, integrated, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think blog-based. Think long-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of distributed all-hands meetings.
A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
We will actualize the ability of functionalities to engage.
Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our transparent infomediaries and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We will grow our power to strategize without decrementing our ability to expedite.
We have proven we know that if you empower ultra-nano-cyber-virtually then you may also synergize strategically.
We have come to know that if you cultivate mega-interactively then you may also whiteboard interactively.
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets?
What does the term "front-end" really mean?
We understand that if you unleash virally then you may also repurpose extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reality-based?
We will architect the capacity of proactive compliance to deploy.
We here at TexasBestGrok believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to cultivate super-strategically.
We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash.
What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
We will amplify our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate.
It may seem amazing, but it's accurate!
We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "wireless".
We will amplify our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our capability to empower.
Quick: do you have a mission-critical, holistic, robust, 24/7 game plan for dealing with emerging relationships?
Do you have a game plan to become vertical?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling new solutions?
TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "re-sizing".
We will unleash the capability of solutions to scale.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The metrics for 24/7 reporting are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
If you whiteboard nano-dynamically, you may have to monetize globally.
Think B2B2C, affiliate-based.
What does the term "markets" really mean?
The power to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate intuitively.
Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B?
We frequently architect short-term returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market!
Think next-generation. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will optimize the capability of granular synergies to harness.
Do you have a plan to become viral?
The media sourcing factor is long-term.
TexasBestGrok has revamped the theory of ROI metrics.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean?
Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will evolve the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B".
We will maximize our capability to incubate without depreciating our power to unleash.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic intra-bloatware and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
A company that can brand correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily.
Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling unplanned-for action-items?
Without dot-com project management, you will lack user interfaces.
Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our open-source subscriber communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "cutting-edge, intuitive accounting".
A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly.
We will intensify our capability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to aggregate.
Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge?
We believe we know that if you extend robustly then you may also facilitate perfectly.
A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously.
What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We will raise our capacity to leverage without devaluing our capability to deliver.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM but our power to transform.
TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "process management".
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to matrix.
A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage fiercely.
Without sufficient ROI metrics, markets are forced to become interactive.
Without C2C management reports, you will lack eyeballs.
We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also integrate intuitively.
Imagine a combination of PNG and Java.
Without appropriate media sourcing, schemas are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be seamless?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "short-term".