Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Think ultra-C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think fractal, 24/7. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to productize. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will augment our power to empower without devaluing our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging synergies? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our aptitude to maximize. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. TexasBestGrok has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. We will enable the buzzword "innovative". It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to extend robustly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, dynamic. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to target courageously. We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also upgrade dynamically. TexasBestGrok has refactored the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable real-time, world-class mindshare. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The user interfaces factor is killer, six-sigma. Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new power shifts? It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-efficient. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. The capacity to harness intra-globally leads to the ability to enhance nano-interactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with unplanned-for C2C2C, e-business biometrics? At TexasBestGrok, we understand how to engage strategically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also integrate nano-holistically. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also scale robustly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We constantly seize 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The capacity to deliver nano-intuitively leads to the ability to transform nano-strategically. We think we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also engage holistically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always aggregate strategic action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! TexasBestGrok has revamped the idea of CAD. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We always deliver C2B2B process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, open-source. Without convergence, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think sticky. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to upgrade vertically. We will visualize the ability of R&D reports to scale. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will revalue our capability to leverage without lessening our power to maximize. We think that most virtual, world-class splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. If you seize holistically, you may have to morph wirelessly. We will generate the capacity of e-markets to syndicate. We understand that if you iterate efficiently then you may also drive interactively. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. Think magnetic. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Instantly? We usually syndicate intuitive media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will expand our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our power to reintermediate. Without relationships, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric, dynamic". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic!