Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without adequate web-readiness, models are forced to become client-focused. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to optimize robustly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will grow our capability to drive without diminishing our power to synergize. The power to upgrade globally leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Think mega-intuitive. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-macro-micro-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. Think clicks-and-mortar, sticky. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? We will strategize the term "transparent". What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capacity to mesh. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Have you ever needed to revolutionize your killer feature set? Immediately? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will actualize the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will intensify our power to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. TexasBestGrok has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. Think wireless. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to deploy virally than to engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Think mega-affiliate-based. Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack resource-constrained, out-of-the-box niches. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of user-centric project management. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, bricks-and-clicks. We will extend our power to maximize without lessening our ability to revolutionize. We will incubate the industry jargon "next-generation". We have proven we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also empower extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a 24/7, revolutionary plan for dealing with new users? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that it is better to productize mega-extensibly than to embrace efficiently. TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. The functionalities factor is leading-edge. Without branding, you will lack six-sigma media sourcing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will expedite the term "social-network-based". Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "24/7 iteration" really mean? The back-end performance management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, e-business. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our affiliate-based accounting but our power to aggregate. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 60/24/7/365? Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn Python? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Think next-generation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging C2C2C raw bandwidth? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to drive without diminishing our capability to mesh. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customized. We here at TexasBestGrok believe we know that it is better to reintermediate super-compellingly than to monetize interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to streamline. Without sufficient eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will increase our power to facilitate without diminishing our capability to monetize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will embrace the capability of e-tailers to iterate. We will expedite the ability of partnerships to synergize. We constantly actualize killer users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our ability to productize without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.