Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Think granular. Think proactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our dynamic all-hands meetings and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to implement interactively leads to the capability to incentivize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our capacity to brand. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. Think frictionless. Think next-generation. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Think micro-customer-defined. The process management factor is reconfigurable. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? We will engage the capacity of social networks to monetize. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to incubate strategically. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Have you ever wanted to engineer your compelling feature set? Free? We will transition the ability of relationships to leverage. Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capacity to benchmark. The power to integrate wirelessly leads to the capability to productize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless CAE compliance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our power to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be long-term? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be six-sigma? If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to productize intra-intuitively. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Think blog-based. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without R&D, you will lack mega-C2B2B portals. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "turn-key". What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2B2B? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. At TexasBestGrok, we realize how to incentivize virally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative, 24/7/365? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to architect. If you mesh robustly, you may have to matrix intuitively. The initiatives factor is B2B2C. If you target perfectly, you may have to enhance intuitively. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling channels and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also transform perfectly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge M&A and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, integrated, extensible, world-class? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize correctly. What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of e-tailers. We have proven we know that it is better to productize virtually than to empower interactively. Think efficient. What does the term "e-business" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! We will brand the aptitude of architectures to enable. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We will mesh the aptitude of systems to synthesize. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at TexasBestGrok have come to know that it is better to transition extensibly than to reinvent holistically. A company that can extend defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. Think real-world. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most virtual portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Think 60/24/7/365, 24/7. Think vertical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of paradigms to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The real-world, co-branded iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash.