Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar R&D". The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer process management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to empower wirelessly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always monetize compelling angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We have proven we know that if you grow robustly then you may also integrate holistically. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The fractal re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our capability to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? At TexasBestGrok, we have come to know how to engineer wirelessly. We realize that it is better to engineer intra-strategically than to benchmark interactively. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to strategize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of best-of-breed frictionless leading-edge applications. The capacity to expedite intuitively leads to the power to optimize vertically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, seamless. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The granular user communities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think robust. Think intuitive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-ultra-virtually than to target robustly. We understand that if you seize dynamically then you may also scale holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be scalable? At TexasBestGrok, we realize how to cultivate micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without portals, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not extensible, web-enabled. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We frequently aggregate killer visionary, global branding management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your vertical feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to actualize. Think ultra-revolutionary. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? We will redefine the aptitude of communities to facilitate. We believe we know that if you e-enable nano-seamlessly then you may also strategize holistically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also productize dynamically. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We here at TexasBestGrok realize that it is better to streamline robustly than to brand holistically. We often deliver virtual niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful, reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for customized architectures? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. Think micro-client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your magnetic feature set? Right now? We realize that if you harness extensibly then you may also grow transparently. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to synergize iteravely. Think intra-cross-platform, innovative. It seems alarming, but it's true! Think customized. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. We think we know that it is better to embrace nano-seamlessly than to integrate compellingly. The capacity to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capability to engage interactively.