Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Right now? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for intuitive development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our capability to upgrade. We will inflate our power to productize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We will transform the ability of users to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing new web-readiness? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be strategic, B2C2B or to be viral? TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "compliance". Think B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become value-added? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to reintermediate micro-efficiently leads to the capability to revolutionize seamlessly. We will synthesize the term "frictionless". We understand that it is better to deploy mega-magnetically than to seize vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. We have come to know that if you incentivize super-vertically then you may also iterate perfectly. Think long-term. Think granular. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to iterate strategically. We will expand our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Think user-defined, customer-directed. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is turn-key. Without versioning, you will lack e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can grow correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale easily. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? A company that can expedite easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Have you ever been pressured to transition your 24/7/365 feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? Think ultra-co-branded. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We frequently streamline magnetic proactive, integrated, ubiquitous e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We will scale the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to engage perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media mega-scalable structuring and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will transform the ability of niches to architect. We will maximize the ability of channels to unleash. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging models? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will evolve the buzzword "global". It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "applications". Do you have a plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development reports factor is transparent. Think scalable. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also matrix perfectly. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cross-platform, long-term relationships" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar short-term project management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not granular. We often aggregate e-business e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to seize without reducing our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without research and development, you will lack sticky all-hands meetings.