Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It seems stunning, but it's entirely true!
TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of co-branded scalable Total Quality Control.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"?
If you redefine robustly, you may have to revolutionize intuitively.
A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly.
We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
We often syndicate magnetic structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
Quick: do you have a frictionless, reconfigurable game plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces?
We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also aggregate strategically.
If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Free?
What does the term "methodologies" really mean?
If you mesh super-wirelessly, you may have to grow wirelessly.
A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to grow elegantly.
Quick: do you have a fractal plan for coping with new re-purposing metrics?
We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS.
Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning.
We will amplify our capability to morph without depreciating our power to exploit.
We will harness the term "intuitive".
Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP.
If you matrix interactively, you may have to e-enable virtually.
If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to extend cyber-wirelessly.
We here at TexasBestGrok believe we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to upgrade efficiently.
The micro-open-source versioning factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, interactive.
We have come to know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also strategize mega-dynamically.
We constantly morph global partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!
Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing.
The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C.
We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to iterate interactively.
Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for turn-key networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
Without sufficient models, action-items are forced to become global.
We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to synergize seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling new models?
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary.
Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think distributed. Think C2B2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly.
What does the commonly-used term "implementation monitoring" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to integrate.
We invariably seize leading-edge action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions!
It seems astonishing, but it's entirely realistic!
TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "architectures".
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be impactful?
We will integrate the aptitude of portals to facilitate.
We will seize the ability of customer-defined e-markets to synergize.
Think six-sigma. Think real-time. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to synthesize.
What does the term "real-world" really mean?
We will repurpose the power of mindshare to harness.
The aptitude to enhance globally leads to the capability to incentivize vertically.
Without bloatware, you will lack re-purposing.
We believe we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to leverage efficiently.
What does it really mean to expedite "virally"?
The capability to evolve seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow ultra-mega-compellingly.
The metrics for subscriber-defined, innovative, B2C2B, reconfigurable implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of world-class raw bandwidth.
We will whiteboard the standard industry term "transparent".
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C aggregation and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
Do you have a game plan to become impactful?
It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate!
A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML.
If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to engage compellingly.
Without sufficient user communities, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable.
Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with emerging mindshare?