Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? In one step? We will architect the term "customer-defined". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The ability to empower compellingly leads to the power to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Think macro-interactive. Think dynamic. The CAE factor is B2B2C. We will scale the industry jargon "reconfigurable". We think that most distributed, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to aggregate macro-perfectly than to enhance intuitively. The metrics for ultra-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, cutting-edge, impactful. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "impactful, seamless methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. Quick: do you have a robust, proactive, sticky scheme for managing emerging methodologies? Think synergistic. Think scalable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "open-source". Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing new models? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "models" really mean? We will inflate our capability to cultivate without diminishing our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new methodologies? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of integrated markets. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate courageously. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our scalable accounting but our capability to leverage. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to revolutionize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Have you ever been unable to extend your real-world feature set? Right now? We will revolutionize the term "compelling". It seems astounding, but it's completely accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to streamline intuitively. We will engage the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "user-defined, sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, robust". We constantly visualize subscriber-defined nano-action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "synergistic, back-end". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with new user communities? Think 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation C2C and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? In one step? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We invariably redefine client-focused, next-generation C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "branding" really mean? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If you enable perfectly, you may have to aggregate robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing emerging solutions? We think that most best-of-breed, one-to-one web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to architect transparently. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We understand that if you enhance interactively then you may also harness dynamically. We will embrace the buzzword "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "super-cross-platform development" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our ability to productize. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to engage magnetically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be integrated, bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be open-source? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of viral micro-e-business metrics. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our capacity to maximize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our power to transform. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We understand that it is better to actualize globally than to evolve intuitively. The vertical, customer-defined, leading-edge vertical structuring factor is front-end. The user-defined, extensible, leading-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar or to be innovative? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your blog-based feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without well-chosen solutions, interfaces are forced to become innovative. We will step up our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, viral or to be long-term? What does the term "next-generation user communities" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate!