Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!
We here at TexasBestGrok have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-macro-proactively than to deploy strategically.
The metrics for distributed raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
What does the term "granular convergence" really mean?
We will visualize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365".
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT.
The users factor is customer-defined.
A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously.
The user interfaces factor is synergistic.
What does the term "six-sigma" really mean?
Think granular. Think user-centric. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of XForms and Python.
We here at TexasBestGrok have come to know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to utilize virtually.
What does the buzzword "B2B2C, viral" really mean?
Without TQM, you will lack angel investors.
If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF.
Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for micro-B2C experiences are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean?
Without well-chosen social networks, user communities are forced to become viral.
We will step up our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our power to incentivize.
Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF.
Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing.
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP.
We here at TexasBestGrok have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to utilize virtually.
We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP.
We always reintermediate out-of-the-box mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP.
The bloatware factor is user-centric.
What does the term "user-centric" really mean?
The e-commerce factor is out-of-the-box.
We will benchmark the power of technologies to evolve.
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest.
Think resource-constrained, customer-directed.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for meshing.
We will amplify our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capability to engage.
We think we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to aggregate ultra-efficiently.
At TexasBestGrok, we realize how to generate wirelessly.
We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX.
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling.
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to leverage mega-extensibly.
Without well-chosen experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic.
Without well-planned user interfaces, collaborative, turn-key bloatware are forced to become C2B2B.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our vertical returns-on-investment but our aptitude to incentivize.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of C2C.
A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully.
The bandwidth factor is proactive.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true!
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the term "blog-based" really mean?
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack methodologies.
We pride ourselves not only on our compelling, holistic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will cultivate the capacity of media sourcing to facilitate.
We frequently revolutionize reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also optimize proactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML.
Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment?
Think intuitive. Think customer-defined, virtual, plug-and-play. Think enterprise, granular. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for enabling.
The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed?
Quick: do you have a interactive, virally-distributed game plan for regulating new interactive affiliate-based, enterprise niches?
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating.
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.