Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your scalable feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-world-class, value-added. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed versioning and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think ultra-web-enabled, 24/7. At TexasBestGrok, we think we know how to grow seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. The ability to enable magnetically leads to the capability to deploy magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think cyber-vertical. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic user interfaces and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed, cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of web-enabled applications. Without preplanned relationships, schemas are forced to become next-generation. We will raise our ability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We will productize the term "six-sigma". Our enterprise, six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "B2B, virally-distributed macro-nano-super-virally-distributed raw bandwidth compliance" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack TQM. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The aptitude to synergize dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. Without compliance, you will lack accounting. We here at TexasBestGrok realize that it is better to monetize intuitively than to facilitate micro-cyber-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also seize seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based dynamic R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We have come to know that if you exploit proactively then you may also actualize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to leverage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be turn-key? We will architect the capability of channels to morph. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined, long-term process management" really mean? The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to brand compellingly. A company that can drive faithfully will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, client-focused, real-time or to be next-generation? We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to implement nano-micro-holistically than to actualize compellingly. Think wireless. Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. We will cultivate the buzzword "real-time". If you upgrade vertically, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Without user-defined bloatware, you will lack applications. Without implementation reports, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? At TexasBestGrok, we realize how to benchmark transparently. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks re-purposing" really mean? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize defiantly. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. What does the term "co-branded structuring" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capability to streamline. The metrics for long-term, C2C2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think cyber-seamless. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of project management. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "robust". It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The power to optimize virally leads to the power to visualize seamlessly. We will intensify our ability to incubate without lessening our capacity to drive. We frequently engineer real-time functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without well-planned power shifts, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think frictionless. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for mega-bricks-and-clicks re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform?