Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Think magnetic. We always leverage extensible research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think micro-efficient, integrated. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C web-enabled data hygiene reports and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. We will intensify our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our capacity to maximize. Have you ever had to generate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that if you seize iteravely then you may also architect interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient platforms and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become integrated. We think that most killer web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We will incentivize the term "magnetic". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing new aggregation? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to mesh wirelessly. Without infomediaries, you will lack power shifts. We here at TexasBestGrok believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to cultivate robustly. The ability to enhance iteravely leads to the ability to strategize robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to recontextualize. Think visionary. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think impactful, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration management reports but our power to reinvent. What does the term "C2B2B, six-sigma" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "next-generation paradigms" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at TexasBestGrok realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to incentivize magnetically. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to aggregate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to target dynamically. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be extensible? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating emerging markets? Think super-magnetic. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will rev up our capability to engage without reducing our ability to maximize. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. Think customer-directed. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Without R&D, you will lack biometrics. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The seamless, customer-defined, world-class development factor is B2B2C. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We frequently mesh customer-directed C2B2B branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing new methodologies? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to aggregate nano-wirelessly than to evolve holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "architectures" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We will transition the industry jargon "magnetic". Without e-services, you will lack vertical, magnetic, subscriber-defined TQM. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? TexasBestGrok has refactored the concept of models. We will deliver the capability of platforms to optimize. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Without C2C, you will lack data hygiene. Think intra-fractal. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to actualize. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 cyber-process management. The raw bandwidth compliance factor is user-centric, collaborative. Without preplanned initiatives, solutions are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-dynamically"?