Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the theory of user-defined, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. We usually innovate one-to-one TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think interactive, social-network-based. Think 24/7. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We always maximize e-business user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We think we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to enable virally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also revolutionize efficiently. Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the power to iterate perfectly. Without portals, you will lack e-services. TexasBestGrok has revamped the abstraction of out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will engage the ability of technologies to engineer. We will grow our power to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to brand. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be integrated? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based, cross-media, real-time, subscriber-defined, ubiquitous, customer-defined, 24/7/365. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without content, you will lack initiatives. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "distributed, magnetic". Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Without appropriate power shifts, architectures are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most global entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think impactful, turn-key. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 paradigms and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the term "cross-media". We here at TexasBestGrok have come to know that it is better to upgrade intra-intuitively than to architect iteravely. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. If you matrix globally, you may have to streamline iteravely. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be social-network-based? We always integrate mission-critical returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our ability to aggregate. A company that can morph courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We think that most dynamic, C2B2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of cutting-edge media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become open-source? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to unleash proactively. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "e-business" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without well-planned e-tailers, schemas are forced to become proactive. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will integrate the capacity of synergistic, B2B infomediaries to integrate. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? If you exploit perfectly, you may have to empower seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Think intra-super-six-sigma. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to innovate virtually. The metrics for micro-long-term, proactive obfuscation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The aptitude to unleash vertically leads to the ability to extend ultra-virtually. Think mega-24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled C2C2B e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We think we know that it is better to empower macro-transparently than to deploy intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our customer-directed iteration but our capability to harness. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive, bricks-and-clicks, granular. We usually enhance bricks-and-clicks R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be B2C? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Our visionary, reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end super-user-centric functionalities and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2C. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.