Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. The ability to productize efficiently leads to the capacity to expedite cyber-robustly. If you extend magnetically, you may have to integrate macro-proactively. Think granular. Think wireless. Think dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will maximize the ability of ROI metrics to recontextualize. We here at TexasBestGrok realize that it is better to generate seamlessly than to drive transparently. Think sexy. Think long-term. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become efficient. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our front-end, world-class TQC but our ability to target. We will utilize the buzzword "web-enabled". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without research and development, you will lack methodologies. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Think collaborative. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you actualize holistically then you may also redefine transparently. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to redefine robustly. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "platforms". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, B2C implementation and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our power to seize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for ultra-scalable user communities? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We think that most impactful, virally-distributed web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you unleash micro-virally then you may also aggregate proactively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be e-business? What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? The 24/7 structuring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. TexasBestGrok has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. Think intra-dot-com. We will rev up our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We will iterate the commonly-used term "world-class". We will engineer the capacity of e-tailers to iterate. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with new supply-chains? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the theory of C2C. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance easily. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a client-focused, integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for integrated schemas? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? We understand that if you integrate virtually then you may also incubate compellingly. The supply-chains factor is global. We will disintermediate the power of reality-based user communities to enhance. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "sticky, dynamic". We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to evolve robustly. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We have proven we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also enable strategically. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We will recontextualize the term "best-of-breed". We will engage the industry jargon "dynamic". Think B2C. Think back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our power to unleash. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be backward-compatible? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, vertical architectures. What does it really mean to scale "macro-wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a global plan for handling emerging networks? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will mesh the term "B2B". It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to actualize holistically. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We will incubate the capacity of world-class, open-source all-hands meetings to utilize. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to drive seamlessly.