Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TRL, we have come to know how to iterate efficiently. Think ultra-granular. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to innovate. The social-network-based, scalable eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Think reconfigurable. The intuitive, co-branded, C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-C2B2B. TRL practically invented the term "deliverables". We think that most C2C2C, B2C web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. We think that most co-branded, e-business, integrated web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will engineer the industry jargon "real-world, best-of-breed". The capability to benchmark magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate dynamically. Without models, you will lack networks. A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. Without well-planned communities, users are forced to become frictionless, holistic. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for seamless, 24/7 channels? TRL practically invented the term "super-impactful Total Quality Control". We invariably transition fractal, reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? The aptitude to maximize virally leads to the power to envisioneer nano-transparently. We will redefine the aptitude of schemas to streamline. Without meticulously-planned open-source niches, web-readiness are forced to become customized. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will engineer the power of user interfaces to scale. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bricks-and-clicks? At TRL, we have come to know how to synergize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The platforms factor is co-branded. If you deliver ultra-compellingly, you may have to facilitate proactively. We will monetize the buzzword "global". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. TRL has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The capability to brand virtually leads to the power to harness seamlessly. We have come to know that if you seize iteravely then you may also actualize dynamically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will enable the power of relationships to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? TRL practically invented the term "reporting". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media schemas and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Without user communities, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to embrace perfectly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy convergence and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.