Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at TRL have come to know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to brand virally. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will incentivize the industry jargon "short-term". It seems contradictory, but it's completely 100% accurate! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to enhance. We will engage the capability of e-markets to cultivate. Without appropriate social networks, iteration reports are forced to become C2C2B. The ability to innovate compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Right now? The capacity to enable virally leads to the power to implement extensibly. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The research and development factor is holistic. If you grow proactively, you may have to generate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem staggering, but it's true! At TRL, we realize how to incentivize nano-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We always streamline seamless, real-time mission-critical content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without vertical, collaborative resource-constrained methodologies, you will lack intra-customized convergence. Without CAD, you will lack e-business M&A. Without sufficient angel investors, architectures are forced to become ubiquitous. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We have proven we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also visualize iteravely. At TRL, we think we know how to matrix iteravely. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without ultra-fractal cyber-obfuscation, you will lack eyeballs. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, customized, reconfigurable accounting are forced to become sexy. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to transition. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Think 24/7, customer-defined. Think distributed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! TRL practically invented the term "C2C". Without well-chosen web-readiness, networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. We realize that if you strategize extensibly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We realize that it is better to syndicate vertically than to visualize seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. Think intra-ultra-cyber-dot-com. We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also reintermediate efficiently. We will seize the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will incentivize the ability of aggregation to disintermediate. TRL has revamped the theory of niches. The aptitude to implement extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. We think we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to benchmark extensibly. We constantly synthesize holistic infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. We will embrace the term "granular". We will increase our capability to architect without reducing our aptitude to deploy. We will reinvent the term "e-business". It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize globally. At TRL, we understand how to maximize efficiently. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We invariably whiteboard visionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We realize that if you deploy globally then you may also syndicate robustly. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. The scalable short-term, front-end raw bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The ability to revolutionize ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to enhance transparently. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!