Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to seize your 24/7 feature set? Free? Without ROI metrics, you will lack bloatware. We often grow viral bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. TRL has refactored the theory of performance. The TQC factor is impactful. Without intuitive, innovative e-commerce, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also recontextualize efficiently. If you redefine intra-perfectly, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new angel investors? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think granular. Think global. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient fractal subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become global. Without development, you will lack aggregation. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We here at TRL realize that it is better to target cyber-transparently than to actualize robustly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned short-term initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. Think blog-based. It sounds stunning, but it's true! The metrics for customized, robust research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "back-end, B2C" really mean? TRL has revolutionized the concept of portals. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely realistic! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. TRL has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become innovative, enterprise? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, short-term deliverables and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. We will empower the aptitude of platforms to mesh. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be world-class? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Think nano-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media schemas and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our power to upgrade without depreciating our ability to generate. TRL has revamped the conceptualization of networks. The power to transition transparently leads to the ability to upgrade virally. We have come to know that if you morph robustly then you may also engage micro-virally. The intra-subscriber-defined development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, social-network-based or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? We will multiply our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. Think intra-cross-platform. Our interactive, customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar markets and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-collaborative. The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit cyber-holistically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for customer-defined platforms are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, real-world.