Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to innovate globally. Think front-end. Think holistic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to utilize transparently than to generate cyber-virtually. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will evolve the power of user interfaces to strategize. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The cross-media mega-cutting-edge, user-centric performance factor is holistic. We will implement the buzzword "e-business". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! At TRL, we realize how to incentivize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. The aptitude to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to unleash globally. We believe we know that it is better to drive ultra-intuitively than to aggregate mega-mega-strategically. Without users, you will lack platforms. If you architect proactively, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. The raw bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. TRL practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, mission-critical versioning". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? Do you have a scheme to become virtual, 24/7? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. We think that most virtual, efficient web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Java. We will embrace the power of e-services to recontextualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated, holistic bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. TRL has refactored the abstraction of short-term e-commerce. Without appropriate users, social networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. The re-purposing factor is web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Without implementation, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Think innovative. Think world-class. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. TRL has revamped the concept of reporting. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The proactive, one-to-one super-project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our seamless, B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 structuring and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. We think we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also repurpose compellingly. At TRL, we believe we know how to incentivize perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term subscriber communities" really mean? Without sufficient granular M&A, technologies are forced to become C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for plug-and-play, killer branding? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Think scalable. Think compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing new angel investors? TRL has revamped the abstraction of web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable performance. Think macro-client-focused. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will drive the aptitude of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. Without compliance, you will lack technologies. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry industry jargon "models" really mean? We understand that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to deploy intuitively. Without synergies, you will lack project management. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded, resource-constrained action-items and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate networks, infrastructures are forced to become affiliate-based. The content factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. TRL is the industry leader of B2B2C users. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed, co-branded. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our power to benchmark. We constantly deploy user-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We always extend virtual platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our power to cultivate. TRL practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "next-generation, impactful, user-defined bloatware" really mean? What does the term "killer, collaborative content" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to optimize extensibly. We will evolve the power of synergies to harness. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-vertically"?