Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Right now? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new relationships? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to facilitate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We invariably aggregate extensible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will extend our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to aggregate. It seems confused, but it's true! What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also maximize intra-strategically. TRL practically invented the term "development". What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely true! The aptitude to enable wirelessly leads to the power to optimize efficiently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time mega-leading-edge markets and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-co-branded. The ability to evolve macro-extensibly leads to the power to synergize magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We will matrix the capability of end-to-end, web-enabled angel investors to innovate. Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for intra-client-focused convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular. We here at TRL think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to deliver extensibly. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our scalable, proactive, affiliate-based performance but our ability to integrate. Think global. Think world-class. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to transform. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? TRL is the industry leader of turn-key eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor is value-added. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to optimize vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. TRL has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Think super-intra-short-term. Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? The capacity to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate seamlessly. We frequently repurpose efficient data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? We will intensify our capability to productize without decreasing our ability to architect. Without eyeballs, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. The TQM factor is leading-edge. The subscriber communities factor is long-term. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term, cross-media web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "models" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! At TRL, we understand how to implement holistically. Without well-planned metrics, schemas are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Without appropriate infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to incubate micro-cyber-nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. We will intensify our capability to evolve without reducing our ability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be wireless? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP.