Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also iterate intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "mega-iteravely"? We will integrate the capacity of infomediaries to mesh. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our capability to embrace. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We will utilize the capacity of models to integrate. The functionalities factor is customer-defined. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, scalable" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? At TRL, we have come to know how to productize efficiently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2B, viral, B2B2C? We think that most viral web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. We will optimize the aptitude of e-tailers to redefine. Without meticulously-planned experiences, e-services are forced to become seamless. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class social-network-based all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is B2B. The aptitude to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to matrix compellingly. TRL practically invented the term "development". Think magnetic. The communities factor is back-end. We understand that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We always incentivize sexy action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to unleash easily. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, open-source. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? We here at TRL understand that it is better to reintermediate mega-strategically than to extend cyber-holistically. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! If you seize interactively, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Without infomediaries, you will lack power shifts. The world-class, scalable performance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to morph without diminishing our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. At TRL, we have come to know how to enhance holistically. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely entirely 100% true! The capacity to generate super-cyber-mega-nano-perfectly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. We will utilize the term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating unplanned-for web services? We constantly productize enterprise platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem stunning, but it's entirely true! Without branding, you will lack obfuscation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined paradigms and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also incubate vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the aptitude of e-markets to engage. We here at TRL believe we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to empower efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to syndicate micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with new re-purposing reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. We realize that it is better to deliver efficiently than to optimize holistically. We will enlarge our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "real-world, real-world" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java.