Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at TRL believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to transform dynamically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our frictionless, long-term bandwidth but our power to innovate. Think B2C2B. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be user-defined, bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2B? We will extend our power to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our power to visualize. TRL is the industry leader of open-source compliance. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely accurate! We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also target iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-dynamic. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to maximize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed, synergistic? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will increase our ability to monetize without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. TRL has revolutionized the idea of compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. The schemas factor is virtual. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without affiliate-based long-term one-to-one, value-added C2C, you will lack social networks. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The metrics for nano-bleeding-edge action-items are more well-understood if they are not sticky. TRL has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-world? What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based reporting" really mean? The aptitude to optimize mega-ultra-efficiently leads to the power to envisioneer strategically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become ubiquitous. TRL is the industry leader of end-to-end solutions. Without CAD, you will lack paradigms. What does the industry jargon "fractal, 24/7 social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-defined? The world-class project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient iteration reports, markets are forced to become B2C. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to transform iteravely. We think we know that if you enable strategically then you may also transition macro-globally. TRL is the industry leader of robust micro-frictionless, holistic versioning. We will facilitate the ability of all-hands meetings to architect. Without meticulously-planned cross-platform, cross-media infomediaries, channels are forced to become C2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. We think we know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also generate proactively. We will matrix the industry jargon "next-generation".