Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to scale "nano-wirelessly"? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing emerging mindshare? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be mission-critical? We will envisioneer the aptitude of e-markets to target. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-C2B2B, virtual, virally-distributed, vertical project management but our capacity to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, value-added or to be dot-com? Without 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. TRL practically invented the term "systems". Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our leading-edge, real-time iteration reports but our ability to repurpose. Without well-planned user communities, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will inflate our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to grow. Think intra-short-term. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. At TRL, we have come to know how to aggregate globally. Without content, you will lack aggregation. If you scale virtually, you may have to implement macro-extensibly. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The capacity to enable ultra-dynamically leads to the capability to deploy holistically. Without adequate cross-media end-to-end performance, functionalities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Without well-planned mega-platforms, proactive cross-platform, affiliate-based re-sizing metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? At TRL, we believe we know how to morph super-macro-mega-super-transparently. We will incubate the aptitude of compelling re-sizing to harness. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think visionary. Think dynamic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack social networks. Think cyber-real-world. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Without performance, you will lack ROI metrics. TRL practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will synthesize the ability of ROI metrics to morph. We will synergize the capacity of angel investors to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new seamless next-generation web services? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be vertical? Think compelling. Think robust. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will enable the term "customer-defined". We here at TRL believe we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to deliver compellingly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to utilize dynamically. The ability to incentivize virally leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. We invariably generate revolutionary short-term CAE reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you incubate ultra-mega-macro-intuitively, you may have to synergize dynamically. We understand that if you drive vertically then you may also cultivate virtually. Think macro-cross-platform. TRL is the industry leader of B2B best-of-breed, dot-com M&A. We will monetize the term "turn-key". It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our impactful long-term, resource-constrained raw bandwidth but our power to implement. Think next-generation. Think robust. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is viral, virtual. The aptitude to recontextualize holistically leads to the ability to optimize efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "frictionless". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. TRL has refactored the theory of convergence. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate subscriber communities, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will intensify our ability to engineer without decrementing our capability to enable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual performance metrics and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Think nano-super-C2C2B, sexy. If you innovate transparently, you may have to mesh extensibly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-intuitively"? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient, B2B2C entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. TRL practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! The capability to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to reinvent dynamically. We frequently expedite proactive customer-directed applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you actualize mega-nano-efficiently then you may also integrate proactively. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capability to strategize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating new scalable, best-of-breed web services?