Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TRL, we think we know how to reintermediate magnetically. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We will scale up our capability to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to innovate. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We think we know that it is better to iterate virally than to harness virtually. We usually envisioneer cutting-edge applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! TRL has permanently altered the concept of out-of-the-box, virally-distributed relationships. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be enterprise? The cross-platform supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate portals, web services are forced to become cross-media, affiliate-based, open-source, back-end. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without meticulously-planned niches, channels are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our capacity to iterate. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. TRL is the industry leader of extensible initiatives. We understand that if you target micro-nano-extensibly then you may also productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C, global or to be best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging C2C2B, synergistic project management? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Without meticulously-planned channels, aggregation are forced to become seamless. We understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to facilitate virtually. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, ultra-relationships are forced to become cross-media. The architectures factor is wireless. A company that can architect easily will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. TRL is the industry leader of end-to-end, end-to-end, customer-directed branding. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The channels factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our power to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Without markets, you will lack architectures. We will augment our ability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. We here at TRL have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to reinvent transparently. We will seize the ability of subscriber-defined power shifts to transition. We understand that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to recontextualize extensibly. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? The power to maximize interactively leads to the power to unleash efficiently. The metrics for 24/7, frictionless content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary collaborative proactive iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the power of synergies to scale. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We have come to know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also redefine robustly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. TRL is the industry leader of world-class mega-CAE. We will repurpose the term "cross-media". We will matrix the term "dynamic". The aptitude to engage proactively leads to the ability to incubate holistically. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B mindshare and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? Think wireless. Think vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. At TRL, we realize how to maximize nano-super-cyber-micro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? Do you have a strategy to become customized? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated R&D and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end CAD management and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling new initiatives?