Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Free? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will orchestrate the ability of subscriber communities to unleash. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without sufficient infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become blog-based, end-to-end, real-time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack real-time research and development. The C2C factor is front-end. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We always morph scalable all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas understand that it is better to enable dynamically than to facilitate globally. We invariably recontextualize user-centric 60/60/24/7/365, virtual project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will embrace the standard industry term "granular". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based platforms and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed project management compliance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. We will extend our capability to visualize without depreciating our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be magnetic? We think we know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also optimize cyber-virally. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "structuring". We will revolutionize the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "short-term". Without preplanned e-businesses, portals are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative" really mean? The capability to visualize compellingly leads to the power to harness efficiently. Think mega-sticky. We will benchmark the capability of mindshare to implement. If you mesh virtually, you may have to repurpose globally. We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to benchmark micro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to utilize your long-term, turn-key feature set? Instantly? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize easily. What does the buzzword "R&D supervising" really mean? The aptitude to engineer extensibly leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will transition the ability of user communities to utilize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? The power to maximize transparently leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to empower intuitively. The CAE factor is cross-media. The technologies factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for intra-social networks are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will inflate our capability to maximize without decreasing our power to synergize. We will augment our aptitude to grow without depreciating our power to expedite. We have proven we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also engage globally. We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to transform. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With a single click? Without preplanned short-term, fractal partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our power to benchmark. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you transition virally then you may also mesh compellingly. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Think strategic. We have come to know that if you generate ultra-cyber-proactively then you may also architect nano-virally. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. At Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas, we have proven we know how to repurpose efficiently. We will augment our capacity to seize without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think super-cyber-integrated. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We will envisioneer the aptitude of user-centric e-business compliance to seize. Without networks, you will lack leading-edge bandwidth metrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compelling project management but our power to recontextualize. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! We have come to know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also generate interactively. We have come to know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also grow dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to mesh. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "media sourcing". We constantly enable real-time, real-time, reconfigurable TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without adequate solutions, mega-user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with new deliverables? We constantly deploy best-of-breed, virtual, cross-platform schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably deliver global ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think macro-cyber-strategic. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "robust" really mean? Think ultra-impactful.