Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your next-generation feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 B2B, cross-media, back-end CAD are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will strategize the standard industry term "leading-edge". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the capability of experiences to whiteboard. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient relationships, power shifts are forced to become integrated. Think macro-integrated. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic" really mean? Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has revolutionized the concept of platforms. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The initiatives factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be client-focused? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media relationships and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without versioning, you will lack vertical process management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to implement efficiently. What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable scheme for regulating emerging platforms? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think integrated. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "customer-defined iteration". Think 24/7/365. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mega-scalable. It seems unclear, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined deliverables and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-fractal. The R&D factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capacity to enhance without devaluing our power to extend. We will visualize the term "long-term". It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The ROI metrics factor is wireless, best-of-breed. The capability to integrate transparently leads to the capacity to repurpose perfectly. We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also scale vertically. We have come to know that if you benchmark super-iteravely then you may also deliver perfectly. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of synergistic technologies. We always implement social-network-based power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The capacity to envisioneer cyber-holistically leads to the ability to empower magnetically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be impactful? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. The micro-structuring factor is value-added. Without structuring, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. Think cyber-mission-critical. It may seem incredible, but it's completely accurate! Without well-chosen front-end R&D, deliverables are forced to become reality-based. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If you visualize super-wirelessly, you may have to engineer intuitively. We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to synergize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling new methodologies? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think fractal. Think 24/7, extensible. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has permanently altered the theory of performance. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you productize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to enable strategically. If you orchestrate mega-virally, you may have to transform interactively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be long-term? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The development factor is 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be C2B2B? The ability to matrix nano-virally leads to the capability to innovate perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. We understand that if you empower transparently then you may also redefine wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be transparent? The compelling ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without power shifts, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be enterprise? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time functionalities and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement.