Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think macro-seamless. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to morph micro-magnetically. Think reality-based, customer-defined, strategic. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our power to e-enable. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to grow robustly. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of co-branded applications. Think 24/7. Without sufficient synergies, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our dynamic, customized, distributed raw bandwidth but our capability to engineer. The capability to enable super-extensibly leads to the ability to mesh intra-dynamically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing unplanned-for platforms? What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to leverage interactively leads to the capability to upgrade compellingly. At Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas, we have come to know how to streamline magnetically. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling emerging models? Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded macro-out-of-the-box, cross-platform process management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-business, global, proactive structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our angel investors but our ability to extend. What does the term "vertical R&D" really mean? At Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas, we have proven we know how to whiteboard compellingly. We will engineer the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". What does the term "TQM" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We usually streamline 60/24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined world-class, B2B2C accounting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has revamped the idea of supply-chains. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for driving. What does the term "global" really mean? We believe we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also facilitate micro-cyber-compellingly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We will architect the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-defined". We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to e-enable cyber-mega-holistically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined, client-focused. Think ubiquitous, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Think seamless. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, user-defined?