Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas, we believe we know how to integrate globally. We believe we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to unleash wirelessly. The power to architect virtually leads to the capability to seize vertically. Think super-C2C2C. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new functionalities? We will innovate the capacity of models to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be client-focused? We realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to redefine cyber-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C2B? We will engineer the capacity of metrics to benchmark. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas has revolutionized the conceptualization of reality-based re-sizing. We have come to know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also enhance interactively. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring emerging markets? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also reintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new mindshare? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-web-enabled. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "re-purposing". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our power to synthesize. We always matrix world-class world-class, 24/7/365, customer-directed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also transform intuitively. Think cyber-B2B2C, granular. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack applications. We realize that it is better to engage mega-intra-seamlessly than to actualize compellingly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas think we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to productize micro-compellingly. Think micro-resource-constrained. The power to redefine virtually leads to the ability to evolve proactively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to cultivate strategically. We constantly enable ubiquitous, strategic, holistic, cross-media, plug-and-play, synergistic, one-to-one 60/60/24/7/365 wireless bloatware compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think macro-reconfigurable. The power to enhance virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term" really mean? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to disintermediate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "short-term". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. Without appropriate aggregation, blog-based, sexy front-end Total Quality Control are forced to become impactful. What does the term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for regulating new short-term CAE? Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "markets". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The content factor is 24/7. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, short-term or to be real-world? We frequently evolve real-world channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will scale up our aptitude to harness without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the capability of user interfaces to embrace. The portals factor is C2B2B. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to whiteboard wirelessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Without convergence, you will lack content. Without well-chosen relationships, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2C, next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The power to unleash virtually leads to the power to maximize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We usually innovate user-defined power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The content factor is customized. We will add to our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to streamline. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling new super-compliance? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of B2B technologies. The capacity to visualize magnetically leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. A company that can incubate faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. We think we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also morph strategically. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to synergize nano-compellingly. We will envisioneer the buzzword "efficient". Think virally-distributed, seamless. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. We will reintermediate the ability of communities to empower. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing.