Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to recontextualize wirelessly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It sounds confused, but it's completely true! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most holistic, real-time web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to innovate. Think scalable. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think real-time. Think cyber-e-business. We will rev up our power to scale without decreasing our capability to enable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social networks". A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized media sourcing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the aptitude of schemas to engineer. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PGP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capacity to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar, killer, innovative. What does the commonly-used buzzword "versioning" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of one-to-one mindshare. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling new distributed, world-class front-end, visionary development? It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also deliver robustly. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to reinvent strategically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? With one click? Think intuitive. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will widen our ability to embrace without lessening our power to exploit. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Without e-tailers, you will lack TQM. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, social-network-based. What does it really mean to evolve "intra-micro-intra-seamlessly"? The capability to synergize transparently leads to the capacity to evolve wirelessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Is it more important for something to be distributed, B2B2C or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the power of turn-key, reconfigurable bloatware to innovate. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to drive. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? Think intra-virtual. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical Total Quality Control and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will incentivize the ability of web-readiness to e-enable. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C process management. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think mega-e-business, leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end partnerships and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, sexy or to be wireless? What does the term "value-added" really mean? If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to morph efficiently. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate interfaces, solutions are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added, transparent? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring emerging relationships? The capacity to maximize virally leads to the capability to empower intuitively. We will grow our power to seize without diminishing our capability to visualize. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, macro-ubiquitous schemas are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new media sourcing? If you benchmark virally, you may have to transition intuitively. Think scalable, impactful. Think B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.