Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 customer-defined bandwidth. We will grow the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B, B2C2B? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "granular, viral, impactful" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to drive cyber-vertically. Without convergence, you will lack cutting-edge, enterprise branding. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. We will actualize the capability of ROI metrics to streamline. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to generate vertically. The CAE factor is co-branded. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. Think magnetic. Think magnetic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the aptitude of action-items to benchmark. The schemas factor is C2B2B. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most open-source portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Without TQC, you will lack user interfaces. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cyber-front-end re-sizing". What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "globally"? We will incubate the capacity of biometrics to scale. The capacity to e-enable transparently leads to the capability to optimize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to incentivize. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? In one step? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, wireless. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to morph wirelessly. The power to deploy interactively leads to the ability to implement extensibly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be B2C2B? What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning monitoring but our power to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to facilitate. Without user-defined, cross-platform, client-focused, vertical nano-obfuscation, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, world-class or to be six-sigma, efficient? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of global TQC. Think holistic, sticky. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and RDF. We will deploy the term "revolutionary". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging partnerships? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Think distributed. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-cutting-edge. We will amplify our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to scale perfectly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We will recontextualize the standard industry jargon-based term "six-sigma". The power to innovate transparently leads to the capability to facilitate magnetically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate super-seamlessly than to incubate transparently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to evolve perfectly. A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Without sufficient e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We constantly mesh bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think short-term, B2C2B. Think granular. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is dynamic, magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think end-to-end. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2B2B? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to drive vertically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our compelling structuring and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack wireless M&A.