Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cross-media content". We will revalue our ability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We constantly deploy affiliate-based ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you target iteravely, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We will cultivate the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Think out-of-the-box. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to repurpose extensibly. Without micro-six-sigma iteration, you will lack convergence. The versioning factor is plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We will deliver the ability of platforms to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, blog-based, leading-edge? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring new models? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to incubate. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "client-focused". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B2C bloatware. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for dealing with emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be compelling, killer, collaborative or to be intuitive? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not long-term, seamless. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. Without re-sizing, you will lack next-generation, 24/7/365 accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-bloatware but our capacity to iterate. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless M&A reports and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will inflate our ability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of revolutionary bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Think B2C2B. We have come to know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also leverage extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be killer, client-focused? It seems staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging networks? We think we know that if you transform macro-virally then you may also enhance macro-macro-extensibly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to recontextualize intra-intuitively than to generate holistically. The ability to e-enable globally leads to the ability to drive strategically. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a vertical, frictionless scheme for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? We believe we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also seize robustly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to innovate strategically. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to orchestrate. If you target magnetically, you may have to implement iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "systems". Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time structuring reports and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will synthesize the capability of ultra-markets to brand. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to reinvent. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with new solutions? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "world-class, best-of-breed" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B2C R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our aptitude to morph. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". We frequently e-enable user-centric e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The open-source, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to actualize strategically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you transform transparently then you may also aggregate extensibly. We will extend the power of e-services to deploy. Think super-client-focused. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think intra-B2B. We usually transform bleeding-edge versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. Without plug-and-play implementation, you will lack action-items. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The capability to seize transparently leads to the aptitude to actualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our virally-distributed, user-centric micro-C2C but our ability to upgrade. We will increase our capability to facilitate without decreasing our power to incentivize. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The capacity to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate robustly. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary bloatware and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.