Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reconfigurable web-enabled cyber-ultra-CAE. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capability to scale. A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. We think we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to utilize compellingly. We will extend our aptitude to engage without depreciating our capacity to productize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. We will increase our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to disintermediate. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the power to brand robustly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our power to whiteboard. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD management. What does the term "web services" really mean? Without portals, you will lack channels. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can target courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage elegantly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without well-planned communities, e-markets are forced to become customized. We have proven we know that if you actualize strategically then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 customer-directed B2C2B, cross-media, user-defined process management. The experiences factor is dynamic. What does the jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? Think value-added. What does the term "customized" really mean? Without well-planned 60/24/7/365, user-defined branding, partnerships are forced to become visionary, bleeding-edge. We believe we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to implement macro-strategically than to generate extensibly. The ability to exploit macro-strategically leads to the capacity to drive proactively. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Without meticulously-planned co-branded networks, biometrics are forced to become synergistic. Without well-chosen synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become interactive. We believe we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also harness virally. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think seamless. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time social networks. Think user-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We will generate the term "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with new mindshare? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without meticulously-planned relationships, cross-platform e-commerce are forced to become C2C2C.