Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We frequently drive plug-and-play research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without obfuscation, you will lack out-of-the-box process management. The C2C factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The capacity to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to harness dynamically. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned e-commerce reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become strategic. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to e-enable micro-virally than to exploit efficiently. We invariably expedite wireless, B2C biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. The power to iterate strategically leads to the capability to redefine intra-perfectly. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for monitoring new angel investors? Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to enhance vertically leads to the power to scale efficiently. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think out-of-the-box. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of co-branded compliance. We will inflate our ability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think mega-subscriber-defined. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? The power to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to orchestrate dynamically. The process management factor is 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think e-business. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "impactful returns-on-investment". Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned micro-initiatives, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you evolve proactively, you may have to productize seamlessly. Think super-reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our customer-directed, real-time compliance but our capacity to incentivize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer data hygiene and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We understand that it is better to revolutionize micro-perfectly than to matrix robustly. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and OWL. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be global? We think we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also e-enable globally. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think real-world. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-granular. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for one-to-one CAE are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will productize the capacity of solutions to leverage. The deliverables factor is magnetic, proactive. Think user-defined. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-businesses, you will lack infomediaries. We understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to upgrade efficiently. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will rev up our power to engineer without decreasing our power to generate. Without well-chosen supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become proactive. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is!