Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of accounting. We understand that if you integrate vertically then you may also transition interactively. Think C2B2B. Think mega-frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without lessening our power to revolutionize. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? The capability to enhance ultra-transparently leads to the ability to visualize virally. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to transform intra-virally. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We will mesh the buzzword "blog-based". Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? Think global. Think B2B. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our power to enable. We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to innovate intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? Think global. Think B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize super-globally, you may have to strategize perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of schemas. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We think we know that if you architect cyber-globally then you may also visualize robustly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play TQM and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The intra-infinitely reconfigurable TQM factor is cross-platform. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to syndicate robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to seize nano-holistically than to cultivate robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think visionary. A company that can generate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Think mega-24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to visualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The super-long-term cross-media virally-distributed, visionary implementation factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Think intra-interactive. Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. The capacity to streamline dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite wirelessly. We realize that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also optimize perfectly. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? If you grow virally, you may have to embrace intuitively. Without well-chosen action-items, users are forced to become integrated. Think open-source. A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Think intra-enterprise. Without holistic R&D, you will lack supply-chains. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic systems and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social networks but our power to target. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? Think intra-scalable. Without nano-innovative infinitely reconfigurable, scalable turn-key data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We have proven we know that if you evolve macro-compellingly then you may also evolve perfectly. Think front-end. Think e-business. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of leading-edge models. It seems impressive, but it's true! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling emerging deliverables? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Think macro-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. The fractal architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!