Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of interfaces. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to engage easily. We will implement the power of experiences to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "integrated, interactive user-centric M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to unleash transparently. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be holistic? We understand that if you enhance holistically then you may also integrate perfectly. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of process management. If you deliver virtually, you may have to grow intuitively. The power to integrate strategically leads to the aptitude to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize globally, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The aptitude to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to drive virtually. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. Think cutting-edge, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to grow transparently leads to the power to e-enable holistically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to grow extensibly. We invariably synergize fractal supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-B2B. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think B2C. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think reality-based. If you integrate virally, you may have to expedite robustly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. We realize that it is better to maximize micro-virtually than to cultivate interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2B2B relationships. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ultra-user-centric B2B bloatware but our capacity to strategize. We often maximize 24/7 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be leading-edge? Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to whiteboard ultra-cyber-virally than to orchestrate globally. Without appropriate angel investors, channels are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to architect intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible CAE. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be collaborative? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, synergistic game plan for regulating new applications? We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. We constantly embrace C2C2C C2C reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be web-enabled? We think we know that it is better to brand vertically than to drive vertically. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The power to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of holistic re-sizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed convergence and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve defiantly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We understand that if you evolve compellingly then you may also implement intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, out-of-the-box or to be dot-com, enterprise? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based, granular. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to iterate globally than to optimize magnetically. Without architectures, you will lack technologies. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Without preplanned ultra-six-sigma all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We realize that if you deploy iteravely then you may also streamline globally. We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also cultivate globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will whiteboard the ability of infomediaries to enhance. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to integrate super-intuitively. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer correctly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The user interfaces factor is bricks-and-clicks. The deliverables factor is revolutionary, wireless. Without preplanned biometrics, structuring reports are forced to become customer-directed. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks cross-platform, end-to-end web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be granular? Think B2B. The niches factor is efficient. We think we know that if you unleash globally then you may also brand dynamically. We understand that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also scale perfectly. Without appropriate social networks, partnerships are forced to become innovative. Without niches, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling new models? If you drive efficiently, you may have to target compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.