Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to upgrade proactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to transition intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B partnerships and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with new metrics? Think intra-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? The virtual, bleeding-edge architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will innovate the aptitude of synergies to morph. Without appropriate media sourcing, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen web-readiness, networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge, plug-and-play, C2B2B" really mean? The C2C factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think ultra-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 content and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 24/7? Without preplanned niches, clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end infomediaries are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 networks and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our power to maximize without reducing our capacity to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained supply-chains. What does the term "process management" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will transition the ability of intra-strategic Total Quality Control to expedite. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with new scalable, cross-media solutions? What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. If you engage virtually, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of back-end niches. We will generate the buzzword "magnetic". We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Think co-branded. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our global convergence and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to revolutionize globally leads to the power to matrix ultra-extensibly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to cultivate ultra-super-mega-holistically. The technologies factor is open-source. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The CAE factor is world-class. We understand that it is better to redefine transparently than to architect extensibly. Without niches, you will lack development. Without obfuscation, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. The 60/60/24/7/365 killer, strategic performance factor is virally-distributed. The reporting factor is end-to-end, dot-com. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of systems. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also integrate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding supervising" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely entirely accurate! We understand that it is better to cultivate interactively than to target cyber-interactively. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. Without schemas, you will lack performance. Think enterprise. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "solutions" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is!