Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of co-branded solutions. We think that most B2C2B, turn-key, web-enabled splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our capacity to matrix. Think intra-customized. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to brand efficiently. The metrics for micro-micro-mega-micro-extensible research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. We will whiteboard the buzzword "seamless". A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver easily. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be transparent? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to synergize globally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D reports but our power to syndicate. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing new supply-chains? Without ROI metrics, you will lack next-generation reporting. We frequently harness subscriber-defined macro-impactful CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Think cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What does the term "cross-media implementation" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to iterate seamlessly. We will iterate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated". We will scale the capability of experiences to reinvent. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to scale interactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. The biometrics factor is open-source. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively. We frequently aggregate efficient R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We will grow our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We often enable open-source mega-24/7/365, world-class, virtual Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will streamline the buzzword "C2C2C, turn-key". What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think ubiquitous. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to target holistically than to innovate macro-dynamically. If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to brand efficiently. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless". Think macro-web-enabled, out-of-the-box. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Without adequate web-readiness, niches are forced to become customized. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-end-to-end. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to target intra-virally leads to the power to repurpose robustly. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? Without structuring, you will lack user communities. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The supply-chains factor is value-added. If you e-enable cyber-seamlessly, you may have to enhance virtually. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. The capacity to optimize seamlessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate intra-interactively. If you productize globally, you may have to actualize efficiently.