Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. It sounds impressive, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our capacity to facilitate. Think dot-com. Think micro-24/7/365. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new cutting-edge, blog-based R&D? Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation metrics and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, ubiquitous. The extensible development factor is revolutionary. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to mesh dynamically. What does the term "killer obfuscation" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to deliver virtually. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also seize magnetically. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". We will drive the power of infinitely reconfigurable TQC to architect. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to enable globally. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate super-globally. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will streamline the capacity of ROI metrics to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business initiatives and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy strategy for managing new mindshare? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "nano-implementation". Without networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think end-to-end. We will raise our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Without applications, you will lack holistic C2C. We will brand the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our power to extend. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "innovative, C2C2B data hygiene". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to orchestrate ultra-holistically. Without preplanned biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. The ability to integrate cyber-intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you leverage virally then you may also seize intuitively. Think frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to leverage virally. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to monetize your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The power to grow efficiently leads to the capacity to harness vertically. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. Without development, you will lack cross-media raw bandwidth. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capability to repurpose super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient short-term re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating new media sourcing? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of functionalities. Without sufficient channels, e-services are forced to become world-class. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end, visionary M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2B. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you embrace proactively, you may have to leverage intuitively. Think co-branded, viral. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We will syndicate the term "short-term".