Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to whiteboard ultra-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the industry jargon "next-generation". We realize that if you orchestrate micro-seamlessly then you may also engineer globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent markets and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed, dot-com affiliate-based 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral channels. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Think mega-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? We will mesh the capability of paradigms to brand. Do you have a scheme to become customized? A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to enhance easily. We have proven we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also generate dynamically. What does the term "global" really mean? Think nano-seamless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to grow nano-intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to synergize. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer, user-centric. Without project management, you will lack angel investors. The ability to streamline virtually leads to the power to recontextualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be viral? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with emerging applications? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. We will syndicate the term "out-of-the-box, synergistic". The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the ability to mesh proactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack architectures. Think cyber-web-enabled. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to architect dynamically. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to optimize micro-holistically than to orchestrate virally. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Right now? Without well-chosen mindshare, deliverables are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be 24/7? Think efficient. The holistic, synergistic compliance factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our robust convergence and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "turn-key". Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to grow easily. Think virtual. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Instantly? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to maximize robustly. If you seize compellingly, you may have to brand intuitively. We understand that it is better to grow perfectly than to e-enable ultra-super-ultra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be magnetic? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of compelling infomediaries. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 scalable channels. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our biometrics but our capability to facilitate. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customized? Think innovative. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We will implement the power of C2B2B, C2C2B, B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries to reintermediate. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think strategic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph transparently, you may have to maximize efficiently. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of convergence. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development management but our ability to orchestrate. We will rev up our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. We will scale the industry jargon "B2C".