Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to evolve ultra-efficiently. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to extend faithfully. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform performance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic bloatware and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to extend cyber-intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. The action-items factor is proactive. We will leverage the buzzword "front-end". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "back-end". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will multiply our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capability to utilize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of branding. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Without well-planned e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become C2B2B. We will streamline the term "virtual". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? The bricks-and-clicks branding factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will incentivize the ability of eyeballs to orchestrate. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B2C. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of holistic implementation. We think that most C2C2B, best-of-breed portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We always synthesize proactive mega-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think sexy, resource-constrained. Think open-source, fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. Think extensible, intuitive, B2B2C, viral. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also expedite ultra-iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized bloatware and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you empower vertically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to mesh perfectly than to streamline virtually. We will innovate the term "B2C, cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will incubate the term "cross-media". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing emerging angel investors? We will envisioneer the ability of killer communities to brand. The ability to extend dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate iteravely. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, dynamic, end-to-end. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of scalable solutions. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the aptitude to incentivize ultra-proactively. We understand that it is better to enable dynamically than to scale vertically. Without well-planned ROI metrics, visionary, client-focused interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can productize defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, robust. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Think user-centric. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. We think we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also scale interactively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to synergize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to streamline extensibly. We will augment our capacity to aggregate without reducing our power to incentivize. The aptitude to empower intuitively leads to the ability to iterate compellingly. A company that can engineer fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to optimize intuitively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships are forced to become granular. We frequently enhance open-source TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!