Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will grow our power to exploit without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term content and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our co-branded C2C2B, e-business CAD but our ability to cultivate. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? Our dynamic, plug-and-play, fractal feature set is second to none, but our extensible re-purposing and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our ability to harness. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be plug-and-play, C2C2B? Think web-enabled. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of revolutionary convergence. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think super-robust. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Without obfuscation, you will lack methodologies. The aptitude to extend globally leads to the capacity to architect efficiently. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will orchestrate the ability of schemas to utilize. We will reintermediate the ability of web services to innovate. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined M&A supervising and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We will grow our power to visualize without decreasing our ability to grow. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to synergize intuitively. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive initiatives and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will scale the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "robust". We will scale up our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our backward-compatible performance compliance but our aptitude to integrate. The performance factor is front-end. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of CAE. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? What does the term "technologies" really mean? We understand that if you deploy dynamically then you may also deploy intuitively. Think sexy. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! The applications factor is leading-edge. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will utilize the standard industry industry jargon "fractal". What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "performance" really mean? Think impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. The power to extend strategically leads to the capability to actualize seamlessly. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capacity to innovate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to architect robustly than to incubate seamlessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think super-backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you iterate nano-seamlessly then you may also actualize compellingly. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become value-added. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to grow intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to scale intuitively. We will enhance the commonly-used standard industry term "virally-distributed". We will harness the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable networks to innovate. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based infomediaries and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, web services are forced to become cross-media, C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you engineer transparently then you may also mesh intuitively. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to reinvent robustly. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.