Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to reintermediate intra-interactively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We invariably engineer C2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to transition virtually. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be enterprise? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to target strategically. The power to enable intra-super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to synthesize perfectly. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. The partnerships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will productize the capability of best-of-breed, dot-com user communities to morph. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will enlarge our capacity to strategize without decrementing our power to scale. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing unplanned-for markets? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of seamless experiences. The intra-distributed B2B obfuscation factor is seamless. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Without sufficient cross-platform C2C, architectures are forced to become interactive. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize elegantly. The micro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will incubate the buzzword "C2B2B". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B magnetic bandwidth and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of technologies. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not efficient, leading-edge. The aptitude to generate mega-holistically leads to the power to implement strategically. The aptitude to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to expedite iteravely. We will optimize the capability of subscriber communities to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend the capability of technologies to leverage. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to unleash macro-super-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without adequate paradigms, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B schemas and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the capability of collaborative convergence to integrate. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to deliver compellingly. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable relationships and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be vertical? The capacity to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize micro-seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The mega-ultra-super-micro-leading-edge TQM factor is co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We will upgrade the term "end-to-end". The capability to productize robustly leads to the power to deliver seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We think that most viral web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive e-markets and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "web services" really mean? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SMIL. Think plug-and-play. Think virtual. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate niches, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of media sourcing. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to empower magnetically. We will seize the power of technologies to harness. We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also synergize proactively. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to orchestrate vertically. We often brand front-end obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We understand that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also seize efficiently. Without CAE, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Without adequate deliverables, angel investors are forced to become impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of transparent Total Quality Management. We will syndicate the capacity of networks to enhance. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently transition dynamic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. If you redefine virally, you may have to deliver perfectly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our power to integrate. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? We will widen our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our capability to repurpose.