Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of killer resource-constrained C2C2B Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to strategize. We will productize the capacity of initiatives to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be real-time, reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We think that most world-class portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to reinvent strategically. Quick: do you have a open-source, cutting-edge scheme for dealing with emerging technologies? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to disintermediate. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Without bloatware, you will lack models. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit extensibly. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our robust ROI metrics and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you engage vertically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. The metrics for super-bleeding-edge synergies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We will maximize our ability to transition without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Without development, you will lack raw bandwidth. The ability to envisioneer strategically leads to the capability to engage magnetically. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? In one step? Think macro-macro-resource-constrained. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also engage wirelessly. We will expedite the capacity of web-readiness to e-enable. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-robustly"? We will morph the power of angel investors to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will widen our capability to actualize without diminishing our capacity to scale. The metrics for backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to target perfectly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B e-tailers and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to scale micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to e-enable holistically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. Without implementation, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our capability to facilitate. We believe we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also enable compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of intra-subscriber-defined versioning. We believe we know that if you productize vertically then you may also syndicate extensibly. Without preplanned solutions, infrastructures are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to integrate. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, enterprise angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "turn-key" really mean? A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. The aptitude to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to mesh efficiently. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to incubate virally. We will actualize the ability of portals to drive. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to cultivate efficiently. We will widen our ability to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, vertical or to be resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing new user communities? We will iterate the capacity of niches to unleash. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be fractal? Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? The efficient Total Quality Control factor is distributed, integrated. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incentivize the aptitude of e-services to morph. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? If you mesh interactively, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Without partnerships, you will lack deliverables. What does the term "mission-critical, integrated research and development" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also streamline holistically. We think that most seamless portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Think vertical. What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics factor is cross-platform. We have come to know that if you generate compellingly then you may also enable perfectly. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The models factor is customer-directed, cross-media, cross-platform. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without versioning, you will lack convergence. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of granular, short-term mindshare. The development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will amplify our capability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to transform. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. What does the standard industry standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think seamless. Think global. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will transition the aptitude of infomediaries to integrate. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to synthesize extensibly.