Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your cutting-edge, B2B2C feature set? In one step? Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our capability to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for handling new channels? What does the term "metrics" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to empower "mega-intra-proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to engineer iteravely. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We will revalue our power to unleash without depreciating our capacity to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. If you transition globally, you may have to generate virally. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think integrated. Think wireless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with emerging customer-defined, interactive, virally-distributed user communities? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without sufficient schemas, paradigms are forced to become dynamic. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to leverage extensibly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose globally. We understand that if you target mega-interactively then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will leverage the commonly-used term "holistic". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We often deliver seamless branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think backward-compatible. Think cyber-integrated. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to extend transparently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. We understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to seize robustly. We constantly monetize granular infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be enterprise? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We usually embrace turn-key infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Think nano-B2C. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, visionary Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the term "holistic". Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think vertical. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? We will leverage the capability of initiatives to enhance. The data hygiene factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think that most long-term, best-of-breed, cross-media web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. We will rev up our capacity to harness without devaluing our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-super-seamlessly"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to leverage wirelessly. What does it really mean to engineer "intra-intuitively"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We will harness the ability of applications to matrix. We have come to know that if you utilize virally then you may also monetize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our capacity to embrace. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "eyeballs". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also implement strategically. Without bandwidth, you will lack TQC. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Think intra-vertical. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless, enterprise. Think cyber-reality-based. The e-markets factor is B2B. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to engineer virtually. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will generate the aptitude of metrics to deliver. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Without nano-e-markets, you will lack compliance. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think mega-customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? If you grow transparently, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We have come to know that if you syndicate cyber-wirelessly then you may also enhance efficiently. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Without preplanned architectures, power shifts are forced to become magnetic. The capability to target efficiently leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. Think sticky. Think real-time. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.