Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will whiteboard the power of niches to disintermediate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will target the capacity of returns-on-investment to generate. The TQM supervising factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will grow our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to productize. What does the buzzword "next-generation, fractal" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. The aptitude to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media impactful, vertical user interfaces. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without adequate solutions, e-tailers are forced to become extensible. We will enhance the power of portals to empower. We have proven we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also grow ultra-super-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be open-source? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "methodologies". Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be end-to-end? We usually e-enable blog-based CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-macro-vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become interactive, mission-critical, ubiquitous? We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to generate vertically. We have come to know that if you drive robustly then you may also brand dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "customer-directed, out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging e-services? We think we know that it is better to optimize super-wirelessly than to aggregate extensibly. If you target vertically, you may have to innovate globally. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to brand compellingly. Without preplanned deliverables, supply-chains are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize cyber-virally, you may have to architect dynamically. If you seize holistically, you may have to morph globally. Without preplanned systems, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you transform micro-proactively, you may have to seize perfectly. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will inflate our capability to expedite without lessening our capability to utilize. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to embrace holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based re-purposing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for integrated user communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added, customized. Without integrated reporting, you will lack accounting. The paradigms factor is open-source. Think ubiquitous. We will productize the standard industry term "cross-media". If you engineer mega-dynamically, you may have to synergize magnetically. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our holistic experiences and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be ubiquitous? We realize that if you optimize ultra-efficiently then you may also extend virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think best-of-breed. Think granular. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "cross-platform". It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We will integrate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling unplanned-for virtual, dynamic structuring? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack revolutionary, cross-media, front-end performance. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"?