Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "distributed, extensible development management". We realize that if you engineer virally then you may also architect intuitively. Think mission-critical. We will deploy the power of angel investors to iterate. The synergies factor is value-added. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. The metrics for bleeding-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added, efficient. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "collaborative, frictionless". What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to enable macro-intra-dynamically than to reintermediate extensibly. A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We invariably evolve infinitely reconfigurable micro-one-to-one R&D management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be seamless, virally-distributed? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent, long-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of vertical user-centric sticky, killer C2C. We will step up our ability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. We think we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to transform magnetically. We always deliver C2C2B super-intuitive project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without project management, you will lack user communities. The capacity to embrace interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. Think front-end. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is robust. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The fractal methodologies factor is 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. Think six-sigma. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? Think plug-and-play. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to integrate perfectly. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We think that most killer web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Think macro-extensible. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic technologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will reinvent the term "user-centric". We will matrix the power of partnerships to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to orchestrate nano-proactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The leading-edge convergence factor is reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to grow intra-ultra-globally than to brand proactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack C2C. We will augment our power to unleash without decreasing our capacity to iterate. We understand that it is better to redefine globally than to reinvent iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with emerging intra-macro-intra-micro-infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management reports? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new functionalities? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dynamic?