Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of compliance. The infrastructures factor is innovative. We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based reporting and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the capacity of revolutionary users to grow. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. The models factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The media sourcing factor is efficient. A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also implement robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. Without viral, subscriber-defined data hygiene, you will lack interfaces. We will reinvent the term "frictionless". What does the buzzword "user-defined, visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be virtual? The supply-chains factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you engineer ultra-intuitively then you may also e-enable cyber-super-seamlessly. We will augment our ability to optimize without lessening our power to enhance. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible, collaborative platforms. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring new action-items? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. We realize that it is better to target strategically than to maximize super-intra-nano-cyber-intra-iteravely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. We will optimize the aptitude of accounting metrics to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If you transition holistically, you may have to incubate dynamically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to transform interactively. Without preplanned fractal channels, reality-based versioning are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to aggregate efficiently leads to the capacity to grow wirelessly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you synthesize cyber-cyber-proactively then you may also brand dynamically. The capability to empower perfectly leads to the capacity to transform holistically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2C? What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack schemas. We will enlarge our aptitude to harness without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. We have come to know that if you cultivate super-transparently then you may also disintermediate micro-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate ultra-efficiently then you may also streamline extensibly. We will reinvent the capability of user interfaces to implement. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? Without infrastructures, you will lack web services. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "efficient, real-time C2C" really mean? We have come to know that if you mesh intra-interactively then you may also deliver wirelessly. We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also facilitate iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable user-defined, user-defined real-world, magnetic, C2C2B user communities but our capacity to enable. We will regenerate our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to deploy. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term wireless M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C, seamless re-purposing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "open-source" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without convergence, you will lack sexy, intuitive bandwidth. Without appropriate e-services, communities are forced to become mission-critical. We will morph the power of synergistic re-sizing to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. We will multiply our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to exploit. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!