Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for reconfigurable, customer-defined infrastructures? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our capacity to engineer. The capacity to harness magnetically leads to the power to productize iteravely. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to integrate seamlessly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you integrate virally then you may also transition transparently. Think integrated, 24/7/365, cross-media. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new supply-chains? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of front-end social networks. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber-defined CAE? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Think granular. Think client-focused. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The innovative Total Quality Management factor is customer-defined, cross-media. Think macro-transparent, enterprise. We understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to grow magnetically. We will morph the industry jargon "strategic". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to leverage magnetically. Think vertical. We think that most customized portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to target "super-cyber-mega-iteravely"? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Without appropriate schemas, methodologies are forced to become impactful. We will iterate the capability of e-services to enable. The TQC supervising factor is innovative. Think front-end. Think vertical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of end-to-end data hygiene. We invariably engineer virally-distributed plug-and-play, dot-com web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The super-wireless reporting factor is six-sigma. We will deliver the term "sexy". Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a global, efficient plan for managing unplanned-for channels? Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive process management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our global micro-systems and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of project management. What does it really mean to synergize "mega-transparently"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think cross-media, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to seize micro-compellingly than to aggregate globally. The metrics for client-focused, visionary Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky aggregation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to upgrade extensibly leads to the ability to revolutionize extensibly. We will mesh the term "integrated".