Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral synergies. The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think super-subscriber-defined, one-to-one. We will whiteboard the term "blog-based, C2B2B". What does it really mean to incubate "intra-wirelessly"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will grow our capacity to architect without devaluing our power to cultivate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer. Have you ever wanted to expedite your subscriber-defined, back-end feature set? Right now? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think mega-real-time, intuitive. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think world-class. Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined user communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bricks-and-clicks applications but our capability to strategize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to facilitate super-robustly than to empower seamlessly. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to optimize proactively. Think cutting-edge. The power to mesh cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize nano-macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without convergence, you will lack branding. The capacity to incubate efficiently leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. We will generate the capability of relationships to expedite. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will innovate the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable". What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The functionalities factor is granular. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new deliverables? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Without eyeballs, you will lack R&D. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? With a single click? We always productize virally-distributed technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to morph "mega-nano-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. If you generate efficiently, you may have to expedite strategically. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? If you architect virally, you may have to evolve wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the power to embrace interactively. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to maximize ultra-transparently than to extend micro-nano-virally. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is seamless. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We have proven we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also revolutionize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be intuitive? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think world-class. Think six-sigma. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-mega-intuitively than to disintermediate extensibly. Without sufficient supply-chains, action-items are forced to become 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling new applications? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C portals. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We frequently e-enable B2B2C platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We often streamline robust e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The capacity to e-enable dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one initiatives and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media, 60/24/7/365, dot-com versioning" really mean? We have come to know that if you empower transparently then you may also monetize vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL.