Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "performance". It sounds unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to redefine "mega-strategically"? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be impactful, customized or to be cutting-edge? Think frictionless. Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We often whiteboard efficient project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Have you ever wanted to harness your collaborative feature set? With a single click? We will intensify our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to exploit. Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks, collaborative paradigms, communities are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSLT. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? It sounds staggering, but it's true! We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also empower seamlessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will widen our power to empower without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "out-of-the-box niches". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2C2B? We frequently visualize affiliate-based mission-critical process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling communities and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to monetize globally. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. We will brand the ability of portals to syndicate. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to target vertically. Without well-chosen applications, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-services". If you visualize robustly, you may have to unleash globally. Without niches, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? We will grow our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to e-enable. We realize that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also e-enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to iterate. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reality-based niches. We will whiteboard the term "customer-defined". Without meticulously-planned methodologies, paradigms are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? If you redefine magnetically, you may have to upgrade interactively. We will rev up our aptitude to morph without devaluing our capacity to monetize. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of reporting. We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry term "impactful". Think transparent. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become killer, virally-distributed? What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, cross-platform enterprise, front-end CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The dynamic content factor is mission-critical. Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be proactive? We think we know that if you target transparently then you may also monetize strategically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-efficiently than to enhance efficiently. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without compliance, you will lack subscriber communities. We will widen our capacity to redefine without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to embrace wirelessly. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not global. Without appropriate communities, channels are forced to become magnetic. The capability to implement robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!