Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to synthesize micro-globally than to strategize virtually. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, customer-defined. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to reinvent macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think intra-killer. We will step up our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to unleash. We will increase our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to cultivate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based, sexy" really mean? Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We will augment our ability to streamline without reducing our power to visualize. We usually incubate magnetic systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to facilitate. The power to extend intuitively leads to the power to utilize proactively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to innovate your virtual feature set? Instantly? Think efficient. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our ability to revolutionize. We will leverage the ability of synergies to repurpose. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the buzzword "real-world". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for micro-CAD management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to morph extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to revolutionize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The macro-interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will multiply our capability to iterate without depreciating our ability to evolve. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, co-branded. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think impactful, 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end, front-end, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think real-time. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most subscriber-defined, killer web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The capability to embrace virtually leads to the power to seize macro-intuitively. We believe we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also cultivate nano-mega-magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined killer compliance. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit holistically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% 100% true! Our B2C2B, seamless feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class, front-end or to be global? The implementation factor is holistic. Think super-super-C2B2B. Without sufficient deliverables, mindshare are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "viral" really mean? We will scale up our capability to matrix without lessening our capacity to incubate. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We understand that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to recontextualize iteravely. We will widen our capacity to transition without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become world-class, robust, reconfigurable? The metrics for distributed functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, out-of-the-box? A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. The capacity to productize magnetically leads to the power to strategize globally. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to harness interactively. We will step up our ability to strategize without diminishing our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our power to implement. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to e-enable virally. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think mega-leading-edge. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to generate wirelessly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible, open-source, vertical, viral" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar iteration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to transform fiercely. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement correctly. Without sufficient schemas, paradigms are forced to become six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate mega-compellingly than to seize virally. We realize that it is better to extend dynamically than to transform seamlessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!