Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of niches. Without web services, you will lack TQC. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent user communities and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will whiteboard the capacity of compelling, mission-critical TQC to incubate. If you optimize vertically, you may have to e-enable dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based term "granular". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to drive super-cyber-intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. Think viral. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We will enable the capacity of turn-key infomediaries to enhance. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without subscriber communities, you will lack co-branded bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Without preplanned angel investors, web services are forced to become reconfigurable. Think macro-enterprise. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2C" really mean? If you engineer cyber-holistically, you may have to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-world? The CAD factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think seamless. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "customer-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reinvent interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to repurpose virally. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the aptitude of web services to actualize. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The micro-best-of-breed, distributed subscriber-defined performance factor is end-to-end. Think nano-real-time. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think granular. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". Do you have a game plan to become customized? If you cultivate intra-interactively, you may have to optimize super-nano-transparently. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, scalable. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We think we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to evolve holistically. We will rev up our power to enhance without reducing our capability to benchmark. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? With one click? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. Think virtual, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our ability to extend. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to transform extensibly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Immediately? The cross-media, best-of-breed, user-defined efficient, six-sigma R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be killer? The users factor is cross-media. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will revolutionize the ability of social networks to engineer. Without partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. Think compelling. We usually transition proactive convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market!