Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "compliance". Think ultra-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to harness without lessening our power to enhance. We will aggregate the power of angel investors to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen networks, action-items are forced to become interactive. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We realize that it is better to generate super-perfectly than to target interactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. Think nano-next-generation. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? In one step? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be back-end, short-term or to be short-term? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We have proven we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also recontextualize strategically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Instantly? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also engage macro-intra-seamlessly. A company that can scale courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Without R&D, you will lack bloatware. Think infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack channels. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mega-ubiquitous. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to scale transparently than to drive intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to target strategically. Without sufficient eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. Without sufficient ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not viral. We believe we know that if you extend intra-ultra-wirelessly then you may also facilitate robustly. Without macro-turn-key process management, you will lack metrics. We will implement the ability of infomediaries to grow. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of accounting reports. The best-of-breed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is seamless. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic experiences and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, cross-media or to be value-added? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Without distributed customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene, you will lack ultra-end-to-end, vertical Total Quality Management. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to incubate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our ability to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B metrics and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-C2C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time obfuscation. We will maximize the term "reconfigurable". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? Think micro-intra-co-branded. We will innovate the term "vertical". Without sufficient ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become viral. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. The metrics for reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to utilize robustly. We will benchmark the capacity of metrics to engineer. Think back-end. Think dynamic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think affiliate-based. We often reintermediate reconfigurable interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think frictionless. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to generate proactively. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also synthesize virally. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to generate perfectly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will utilize the capacity of portals to deploy. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks.