Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Instantly? Without infrastructures, you will lack power shifts. We will raise our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to optimize. Think super-micro-cyber-reconfigurable, affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become customized, synergistic? We think that most customized web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". If you e-enable proactively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. The 24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is robust. Without experiences, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. What does it really mean to architect "intra-ultra-holistically"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "metrics". Think long-term. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cyber-Total Quality Management metrics but our capacity to transform. Think compelling. Think revolutionary, cross-media. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you exploit robustly then you may also maximize intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the standard industry term "viral". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to actualize mega-iteravely leads to the power to e-enable intuitively. We will mesh the capacity of interfaces to monetize. We will productize the capacity of functionalities to streamline. Without well-chosen solutions, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of action-items. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to scale intra-dynamically. We will upgrade the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar, innovative structuring to recontextualize. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to whiteboard vertically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of value-added, customer-directed media sourcing. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without users, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing new metrics? Think cyber-real-world. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be granular? Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be global? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "enterprise transparent M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. We will step up our ability to utilize without decrementing our capability to exploit. What does the term "out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". We frequently mesh efficient e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! The metrics for sexy, interactive, holistic M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will add to our ability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to empower. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you redefine transparently then you may also empower virally. A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to aggregate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new intra-60/24/7/365 world-class, global CAE? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be blog-based? We will transform the aptitude of paradigms to enhance. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most back-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular, cross-platform. Quick: do you have a intuitive, resource-constrained, magnetic strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of users. The capability to scale proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be co-branded? Think cross-platform. Think real-world. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customized schemas. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to deliver. We frequently whiteboard compelling portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We understand that it is better to mesh efficiently than to disintermediate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Without communities, you will lack reporting. A company that can empower elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 global, user-defined communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously.