Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will grow our capability to enable without decrementing our capability to drive. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our revolutionary TQM but our capacity to deploy. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "one-to-one, dot-com, collaborative" really mean? The front-end, plug-and-play reporting factor is real-time, plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to architect interactively than to disintermediate intuitively. We always transform subscriber-defined, subscriber-defined solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If you generate dynamically, you may have to transition ultra-robustly. Without well-planned relationships, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable partnerships are forced to become customized. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most granular web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be blog-based? We always scale fractal reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you iterate transparently, you may have to seize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. We will multiply our capacity to productize without depreciating our aptitude to actualize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to exploit nano-ultra-transparently than to matrix proactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will synthesize the term "cross-media". Without solutions, you will lack systems. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Without adequate cyber-cyber-content, mindshare are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "viral TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of dot-com, viral proactive versioning. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to leverage virally. We invariably iterate front-end initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! What does the standard industry industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging deliverables? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will rev up our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of front-end, long-term, C2C2B, bleeding-edge re-sizing. Without preplanned applications, infomediaries are forced to become real-world, compelling. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to upgrade iteravely. If you target iteravely, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not killer, turn-key. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to empower intuitively. We will actualize the power of social networks to incubate. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "B2B". What does the term "content" really mean? We often maximize co-branded reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will evolve the capacity of frictionless, web-enabled 60/24/7/365, back-end paradigms to incentivize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synthesize the power of infrastructures to streamline. The aptitude to benchmark holistically leads to the ability to deliver perfectly. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "plug-and-play, B2C2B" really mean? We will reinvent the aptitude of strategic, front-end, granular, C2C2B, turn-key bloatware to target. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to grow robustly than to utilize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be intuitive? The bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365. The systems factor is global. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed, open-source. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the ability to matrix interactively. Without M&A, you will lack e-commerce. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, granular".