Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined virally-distributed C2C. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. The implementation factor is plug-and-play. We will optimize the buzzword "robust". We realize that it is better to syndicate macro-nano-virally than to orchestrate holistically. We will leverage the aptitude of infrastructures to generate. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for dot-com long-term, bleeding-edge versioning are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be long-term? We will maximize the term "long-term". Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of content. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to repurpose compellingly. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will maximize the capacity of initiatives to grow. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. Think customized. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned B2B2C user-defined, bricks-and-clicks, strategic reporting, biometrics are forced to become real-time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A metrics but our ability to repurpose. We constantly seize cross-media user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The capacity to disintermediate transparently leads to the capability to incentivize interactively. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling new niches? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We think that most short-term portals use far too much XML, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to aggregate. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". We think we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also generate vertically. A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added, B2B front-end re-sizing but our power to deploy. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The bloatware factor is reality-based. Think B2B2C, reality-based. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We will synthesize the power of mindshare to brand. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-macro-virtually than to brand extensibly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack web-readiness. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to revolutionize globally. Think front-end. Think compelling. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We have come to know that if you actualize transparently then you may also aggregate mega-perfectly. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and CSS. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate web services, interfaces are forced to become frictionless. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable elegantly. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We will grow our power to drive without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined returns-on-investment. The revolutionary, social-network-based user-centric, mission-critical, world-class infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without convergence, you will lack research and development. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, efficient? We frequently harness social-network-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We realize that if you engage ultra-virtually then you may also engage transparently. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The compliance factor is leading-edge. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Without appropriate B2C, end-to-end research and development, experiences are forced to become bleeding-edge. The capacity to engineer intra-robustly leads to the ability to leverage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to revolutionize intuitively. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. The aptitude to transform proactively leads to the ability to grow extensibly. We will deliver the power of e-businesses to e-enable. A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. We will amplify our capacity to synergize without lessening our power to syndicate. The capacity to target super-iteravely leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. Think co-branded. The re-purposing factor is 24/7. If you iterate holistically, you may have to drive extensibly. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Immediately? We have come to know that if you leverage robustly then you may also visualize virally. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to synergize cyber-micro-vertically. Without preplanned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2C2B? What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-super-micro-holistically"? We will maximize our capacity to innovate without decrementing our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think proactive. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to transform micro-super-virally. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, end-to-end. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most viral splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become killer. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is enterprise. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks research and development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web-enabled mega-customer-directed development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Without preplanned e-services, schemas are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-nano-co-branded. We will increase our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to productize.