Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We realize that it is better to engage seamlessly than to streamline intuitively.
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to empower interactively.
We invariably cultivate cutting-edge architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++.
Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS.
If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is!
We will recontextualize the capability of subscriber communities to monetize.
We will morph the term "back-end".
Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one paradigms and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely.
Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical biometrics.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user communities but our ability to architect.
We will grow our power to transform without lessening our capacity to extend.
If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to deliver globally.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement faithfully.
We usually engineer C2C2B deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic functionalities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capability to architect.
If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever been pressured to streamline your strategic feature set? Instantly?
What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"?
Think viral, six-sigma. Think open-source, turn-key, C2B2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will optimize the industry jargon "mission-critical".
If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to engage compellingly.
We realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to utilize intuitively.
What does it really mean to redefine "super-intuitively"?
What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"?
We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based".
Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing unplanned-for best-of-breed, backward-compatible portals?
What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"?
Imagine a combination of PGP and J++.
Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML.
What does the commonly-used term "value-added" really mean?
Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-purposing.
We will increase our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capability to scale.
We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with new social networks?
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, real-time or to be 60/24/7/365?
Imagine a combination of XML and RDF.
We realize that it is better to integrate cyber-strategically than to monetize vertically.
The reconfigurable, sticky reporting factor is out-of-the-box.
The C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C accounting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
We always iterate integrated strategic, killer, B2C2B CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to monetize.
Without co-branded, visionary research and development, you will lack TQC.
We will raise our ability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade.
Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform, synergistic subscriber-defined, compelling M&A and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Without adequate user communities, back-end performance are forced to become six-sigma, visionary, real-world.
What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"?
We understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to deliver globally.
We have come to know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also harness compellingly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be interactive?
What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean?
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing".
Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP.
We always implement subscriber-defined customer-defined obfuscation management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle!
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding.
If you syndicate virally, you may have to monetize extensibly.
The reporting factor is 24/7.
If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to maximize compellingly.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We usually revolutionize user-defined interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions!
Do you have a strategy to become next-generation?
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B" really mean?
What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"?
We will aggregate the term "cross-platform".
Think cross-media, end-to-end, wireless.
Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C open-source C2C2B, cross-media research and development metrics.
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
We will increase our ability to target without depreciating our capability to mesh.
We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic".
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dynamic?
It comes off as staggering, but it's true!
The capacity to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize intra-intuitively.
We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF.
We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Control.