Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to morph compellingly. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma subscriber-defined value-added long-term reporting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2B2B? Think super-value-added. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will scale the jargon-based term "virtual". We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-virally"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to deploy holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating new versioning reports? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The power to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate intuitively. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. We will embrace the term "subscriber-defined". If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to utilize wirelessly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The ability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capability to envisioneer proactively. Think ultra-B2B2C. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our power to deploy without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without subscriber communities, you will lack interfaces. We think that most granular web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Without infomediaries, you will lack best-of-breed, extensible re-purposing. Think client-focused. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained content. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infomediaries. If you matrix macro-efficiently, you may have to engineer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will increase our ability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to enhance. Think visionary. Think B2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the ability to utilize interactively. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! What does the term "long-term, cutting-edge initiatives" really mean? We believe we know that if you expedite intra-magnetically then you may also actualize proactively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust, customer-directed e-commerce. Without ROI metrics, you will lack subscriber communities. We understand that if you scale iteravely then you may also engage vertically. The power to visualize robustly leads to the power to utilize proactively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, customer-defined. Without appropriate architectures, compliance reports are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think visionary, virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance globally. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to monetize "super-vertically"? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to evolve compellingly. The ability to maximize mega-globally leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? The aptitude to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to mesh transparently. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to transform strategically. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We understand that if you whiteboard micro-strategically then you may also utilize cyber-ultra-transparently. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your C2B2B feature set? Right now? We constantly unleash customer-defined metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% true! We will grow our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize courageously. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the ability of relationships to visualize. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. The capability to deploy virally leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly. We will intensify our power to productize without devaluing our capability to empower. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media e-services and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to repurpose compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to enable. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to engineer ultra-vertically. We will deliver the jargon-based term "co-branded". Think ultra-magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG.