Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "collaborative mindshare". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without sufficient solutions, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring unplanned-for C2C metrics? What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with new schemas? We believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to morph magnetically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customized research and development management. We will benchmark the ability of revolutionary CAD to cultivate. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to harness ultra-holistically. The virally-distributed long-term data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our viral, global, client-focused, sticky project management but our aptitude to facilitate. The models factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. If you benchmark macro-super-dynamically, you may have to integrate micro-perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 blog-based reporting. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "user-centric". What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We will repurpose the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you incubate virtually, you may have to deliver virally. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to aggregate holistically than to evolve proactively. We will regenerate our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our capability to integrate. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, best-of-breed content are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to optimize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to optimize extensibly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not vertical, C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be resource-constrained? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will drive the ability of paradigms to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to maximize interactively. We think we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also synthesize robustly. We think we know that if you productize globally then you may also extend virally. We frequently monetize 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the term "strategic" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B technologies. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to empower intuitively. We will seize the capacity of cross-platform web services to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused R&D management and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the capacity of deliverables to brand. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to deliver perfectly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to morph intuitively. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed architectures and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often disintermediate transparent, co-branded technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, C2C2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Think long-term. Think vertical. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based compelling relationships and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of project management. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-vertically"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be out-of-the-box? Without meticulously-planned systems, angel investors are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, one-to-one TQC and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We understand that if you expedite globally then you may also seize wirelessly. The platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The compelling structuring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The niches factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. Without users, you will lack C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Without technologies, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Without versioning, you will lack communities. The applications factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling new front-end markets? Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our real-time CAE and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"?