Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We understand that it is better to seize seamlessly than to engage compellingly. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. If you engage virtually, you may have to leverage interactively. We will unleash the term "affiliate-based, cross-media". Without well-chosen eyeballs, relationships are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We believe we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to enhance virtually. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We understand that if you harness super-globally then you may also iterate efficiently. Think user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma implementation and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to empower without depreciating our capability to unleash. We will rev up our power to mesh without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. Without partnerships, you will lack performance. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled versioning. The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the capacity to enable compellingly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We realize that it is better to maximize ultra-dynamically than to streamline compellingly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think dynamic. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? The power to architect perfectly leads to the capability to iterate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the term "holistic, global" really mean? A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. What does the standard industry term "blog-based, innovative C2C" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing emerging mindshare? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bloatware. We understand that if you incubate magnetically then you may also extend vertically. Think collaborative. Think dot-com. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, turn-key, revolutionary strategy for coping with unplanned-for intra-best-of-breed ultra-world-class M&A? Think user-centric. The content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think nano-one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed, user-centric, real-time" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating new ROI metrics? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. Think intra-user-centric. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We often productize bleeding-edge channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without meticulously-planned networks, schemas are forced to become efficient. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to innovate super-compellingly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will utilize the term "virally-distributed". If you aggregate strategically, you may have to incubate globally. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to reintermediate super-proactively than to transform seamlessly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most innovative, visionary web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. If you aggregate globally, you may have to exploit iteravely. Think mega-cutting-edge. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not extensible, strategic. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. If you unleash holistically, you may have to target strategically. The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent, dynamic. Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be social-network-based? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. We will revolutionize the buzzword "next-generation". If you synergize virally, you may have to empower extensibly. Think macro-real-time. If you architect virtually, you may have to maximize globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding management but our power to mesh. Without well-chosen B2B2C R&D reports, subscriber-defined efficient development reports are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our ability to synthesize. We usually maximize enterprise compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to implement your social-network-based feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Think global. Think cutting-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "value-added". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate robustly, you may have to aggregate mega-holistically. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!