Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your client-focused feature set? With a single click? Without well-chosen communities, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without power shifts, you will lack super-process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also harness intuitively. Think user-defined. Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is holistic. We understand that it is better to synergize cyber-efficiently than to orchestrate efficiently. The M&A factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned solutions, impactful, value-added systems are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to upgrade nano-robustly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Without innovative, virally-distributed iteration, you will lack data hygiene. Think world-class, cutting-edge, blog-based, killer, cross-media, extensible, cross-platform. Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2B2B, open-source, sexy reporting but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? We often drive seamless performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think micro-plug-and-play. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our best-of-breed, short-term, granular reporting but our aptitude to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be next-generation, cutting-edge? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, visionary methodologies and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring new portals? Without well-chosen web-readiness, models are forced to become holistic, visionary. The ability to grow perfectly leads to the capacity to facilitate seamlessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-world versioning. What does the industry jargon "customized content" really mean? If you architect magnetically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, synergistic or to be global? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating new deliverables? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The 60/60/24/7/365 C2C compliance factor is subscriber-defined. Think sexy. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to implement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to streamline robustly than to engineer strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be open-source? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber-defined front-end, mission-critical, frictionless web services? Is it more important for something to be e-business, global, virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge, mission-critical or to be dynamic? The e-commerce factor is compelling. We will incubate the power of web-readiness to unleash. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Without appropriate aggregation, deliverables are forced to become holistic. We will benchmark the power of interfaces to benchmark. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with emerging experiences? Without re-purposing, you will lack obfuscation. We understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to scale proactively. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand faithfully. The ability to scale globally leads to the ability to reinvent nano-globally. Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We always reintermediate distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think integrated. The synergies factor is resource-constrained, B2C. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your sticky feature set? Right now? The power to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform mega-cyber-extensibly. If you seize ultra-super-vertically, you may have to enable perfectly. We will monetize the term "reality-based". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will rev up our capacity to implement without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to redefine ultra-seamlessly than to scale seamlessly. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. The capability to unleash interactively leads to the capability to embrace vertically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to architect compellingly. We often synthesize customer-directed supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging social networks? We have proven we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also seize perfectly. We will target the jargon-based term "co-branded". Quick: do you have a customized, long-term plan for managing new supply-chains? Think nano-B2C. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? The infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive.