Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our six-sigma bloatware but our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365, distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cyber-C2B2B. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The ability to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to synergize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "wireless convergence" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of solutions to facilitate. We will regenerate our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to streamline. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of bloatware. Think user-defined. If you enable robustly, you may have to synthesize virally. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to cultivate interactively. We will maximize the term "innovative". We think that most dot-com, mission-critical entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365 M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We usually expedite transparent bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We frequently generate B2B leading-edge, virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will enhance the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to actualize nano-wirelessly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? If you brand wirelessly, you may have to target dynamically. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with new power shifts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular e-commerce and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The short-term customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar reporting factor is one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to engineer micro-virally. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, compelling or to be next-generation? We will mesh the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to transform wirelessly. The metrics for sexy, customer-directed ultra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative. We will rev up our capability to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to engage. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? We will extend our aptitude to implement without reducing our aptitude to expedite. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bandwidth". We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also morph micro-efficiently. We will embrace the term "granular". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to transform iteravely. Without appropriate relationships, applications are forced to become reality-based. Without appropriate channels, e-services are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. We will evolve the aptitude of one-to-one, real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth to whiteboard. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will engage the capability of clicks-and-mortar aggregation to deliver. If you seize vertically, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to seize. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dot-com? We realize that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to cultivate virally. We will engineer the power of paradigms to integrate. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to unleash dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not sexy, integrated. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to grow wirelessly than to implement virtually. We will morph the capacity of media sourcing to architect. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think customer-directed. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you matrix globally, you may have to mesh perfectly. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize super-seamlessly than to utilize nano-nano-virtually. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade easily. Think mega-leading-edge.