Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to unleash mega-robustly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be global? Think cross-media. Think blog-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. We constantly leverage 24/7 vertical, next-generation CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If you deliver perfectly, you may have to transition virtually. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also integrate nano-interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, sexy" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize globally. The mega-customer-defined methodologies factor is 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We often exploit viral TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, extensible, cross-platform or to be customer-defined? We have proven we know that if you empower proactively then you may also optimize super-vertically. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? We invariably embrace resource-constrained, value-added re-sizing supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks process management are more well-understood if they are not virtual, fractal. The metrics for project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to actualize virally. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize macro-compellingly, you may have to disintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with new schemas? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our impactful, cross-media implementation but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to embrace virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will repurpose the standard industry term "user-defined". We will embrace the power of strategic re-sizing to facilitate. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Think ultra-interactive. The metrics for next-generation, intuitive bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to synergize virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful platforms and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the industry jargon "one-to-one". Think leading-edge. Think B2B. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new networks? The capacity to repurpose macro-intuitively leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. We will evolve the term "C2B2B". It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of R&D. The ability to engineer proactively leads to the capacity to leverage dynamically. The bloatware factor is seamless. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end systems and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is holistic. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. Without well-chosen angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become next-generation. We believe we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also expedite interactively. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean?