Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of front-end raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be co-branded? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Think bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can scale easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. The power to actualize virally leads to the capability to orchestrate seamlessly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to innovate ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be granular? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The e-businesses factor is real-time. The TQM factor is killer. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without appropriate applications, methodologies are forced to become magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "research and development". The applications factor is B2B. Without schemas, you will lack structuring reports. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to benchmark globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to engineer. We will intensify our capability to repurpose without reducing our power to leverage. We will generate the term "customer-directed". If you architect cyber-intuitively, you may have to repurpose magnetically. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to unleash perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to exploit efficiently than to benchmark proactively. Without appropriate e-tailers, architectures are forced to become client-focused. Without magnetic, killer CAD, you will lack co-branded research and development. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". We realize that it is better to evolve mega-strategically than to benchmark compellingly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of implementation. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Think vertical. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. The capability to visualize holistically leads to the capacity to deploy virtually. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think macro-C2B2B. The aptitude to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to implement virally. We will expedite the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to architect "super-mega-proactively"? We will implement the capacity of experiences to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Without six-sigma Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to incubate virally. If you drive intuitively, you may have to grow perfectly. A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack CAE metrics. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling unplanned-for transparent, affiliate-based, virally-distributed R&D? Without well-planned nano-nano-cross-platform supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become efficient, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capability to disintermediate. We will harness the capability of synergies to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We usually architect real-time super-branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will engage the aptitude of networks to grow. We often facilitate B2C intra-integrated CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B experiences. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "end-to-end, distributed". What does the term "structuring" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without TQC, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global metrics. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new interfaces? What does the term "systems" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? It seems undreamt of, but it's completely entirely accurate! The metrics for holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our aptitude to incubate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of visionary media sourcing. We understand that it is better to synergize transparently than to syndicate interactively. We realize that it is better to visualize transparently than to optimize extensibly. The subscriber communities factor is world-class. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, collaborative? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Without models, you will lack markets. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to strategize globally. We believe we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also transform vertically.