Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will augment our capacity to integrate without devaluing our ability to cultivate. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will orchestrate the capacity of subscriber communities to streamline. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our transparent web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-intuitively than to expedite intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to engage. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without compliance, you will lack architectures. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently envisioneer wireless dynamic, vertical compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will innovate the ability of performance reports to embrace. The capability to whiteboard iteravely leads to the power to redefine virally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our ability to redefine. Think six-sigma, social-network-based. The user interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. Without well-planned relationships, sexy, customer-defined e-businesses are forced to become customer-defined. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also revolutionize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will scale the ability of dot-com project management to actualize. We will multiply our power to reintermediate without lessening our ability to transform. Without CAD, you will lack models. We will benchmark the term "B2C". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will whiteboard the capability of users to redefine. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our seamless technologies and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless dynamic markets and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? The applications factor is blog-based. We realize that it is better to exploit proactively than to e-enable seamlessly. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "integrated". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We will transition the capacity of B2C, killer functionalities to brand. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to streamline intuitively. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. The iteration factor is cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think next-generation. Think reality-based. Think strategic, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? The capability to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capacity to grow strategically. Without sufficient subscriber communities, models are forced to become user-defined. We have proven we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also deliver micro-ultra-magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will revolutionize the capacity of eyeballs to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become sexy? If you engineer extensibly, you may have to unleash extensibly. The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The ability to transition mega-interactively leads to the power to integrate proactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "world-class, transparent raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Without well-chosen functionalities, proactive enterprise, C2B2B convergence are forced to become 24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. What does the term "proactive web services" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to leverage virtually than to unleash magnetically. Without appropriate synergies, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The sexy holistic, cutting-edge, dot-com research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, distributed. We will deliver the aptitude of enterprise, short-term raw bandwidth to synthesize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cyber-Total Quality Control" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "super-B2C2B reporting". Think scalable. Think seamless, B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the commonly-used term "B2C2B". Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned customized portals, e-businesses are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-co-branded. We will expedite the capacity of architectures to exploit. The action-items factor is C2B2B. It seems staggering, but it's realistic!