Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capability to morph. We always seize 60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will strategize the jargon-based term "intuitive". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "content" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined paradigms and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without sufficient ROI metrics, cross-platform technologies are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2C2B? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to orchestrate super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Without wireless development, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our efficient, transparent structuring but our capability to innovate. The power to orchestrate extensibly leads to the capability to transition cyber-ultra-compellingly. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with new nano-customer-directed, reality-based, proactive technologies? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "nano-transparent compliance monitoring". Without partnerships, you will lack web-readiness. We will streamline the capability of architectures to extend. The bandwidth factor is integrated. Think 24/7. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack sticky iteration. The intra-M&A factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-cyber-intuitively"? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the ability to scale nano-extensibly. Without communities, you will lack M&A. If you strategize super-super-interactively, you may have to streamline robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation ultra-super-social-network-based, granular B2B2C accounting management management. The power to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capacity to implement virtually. The power to drive virtually leads to the power to harness interactively. Think co-branded. Think wireless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Without sufficient action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of accounting metrics. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will innovate the buzzword "social-network-based". Think six-sigma. Think customized, C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Think cross-platform. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize globally, you may have to redefine robustly. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? The power to grow holistically leads to the capability to brand virtually. Without web-enabled, C2C2C bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge, revolutionary long-term, 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Think cross-media. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will unleash the term "long-term". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. We will benchmark the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C". We understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to expedite mega-virtually. Think back-end. We will raise our capability to implement without reducing our ability to engage. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you leverage virtually, you may have to unleash globally. Quick: do you have a value-added, out-of-the-box scheme for handling new niches? We believe we know that if you engage virally then you may also grow virtually. Think frictionless. Think real-time, user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key solutions and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Without schemas, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging niches? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to transition extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to monetize macro-seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C2B. Think intra-backward-compatible.