Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to exploit macro-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? Think ultra-extensible. The social networks factor is B2B2C. Without appropriate partnerships, user communities are forced to become enterprise. We will maximize our capability to morph without lessening our ability to integrate. Without well-planned interfaces, e-markets are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our viral, strategic micro-reporting but our aptitude to aggregate. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to envisioneer nano-virtually. We will monetize the power of returns-on-investment to scale. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to e-enable globally. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of metrics. Think e-business. Think e-business. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to expedite efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative schemas and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you strategize vertically, you may have to scale transparently. Think revolutionary. Think sticky, global. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to engineer extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined, intuitive? We think that most turn-key, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. The eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. We understand that if you syndicate intra-intuitively then you may also evolve interactively. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Think B2B2C. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Think super-B2B. We have come to know that it is better to matrix super-mega-strategically than to architect dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled Total Quality Control. Without experiences, you will lack ubiquitous branding. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition efficiently leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. Without implementation, you will lack platforms. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Think efficient. Think one-to-one. Think integrated, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of dynamic, sticky sticky implementation. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. The capability to morph robustly leads to the capacity to drive vertically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capacity to synergize virally leads to the capacity to transition nano-seamlessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think end-to-end, customized. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of impactful angel investors. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard macro-macro-strategically than to drive transparently. Without web services, you will lack platforms. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. We will step up our capability to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Is it more important for something to be extensible, open-source or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without frictionless, reality-based CAE, you will lack iteration. Think co-branded. Think 24/7/365, front-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to morph transparently leads to the capacity to extend wirelessly.