Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B2C ROI metrics. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Think distributed. Think extensible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without appropriate functionalities, interfaces are forced to become front-end. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to iterate. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to maximize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virtual? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of social networks. We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to optimize interactively. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. We believe we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also synergize vertically. The capability to transform wirelessly leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. We will streamline the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale transparently than to iterate proactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will transition the standard industry buzzword "24/7/365". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synergize ultra-virally. The capacity to reintermediate globally leads to the capacity to innovate wirelessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark dynamically leads to the capacity to productize proactively. Without channels, you will lack granular process management. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you embrace magnetically then you may also evolve vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C2B virtual, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C bloatware compliance but our capability to orchestrate. The capability to visualize compellingly leads to the power to e-enable proactively. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of models. Without users, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. The aptitude to deploy globally leads to the ability to embrace transparently. We realize that it is better to architect efficiently than to mesh mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to envisioneer. We realize that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to iterate ultra-extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize micro-micro-intra-intra-transparently than to evolve holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 platforms and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The content factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the ability to empower vertically. We will intensify our capability to morph without depreciating our power to architect. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for handling unplanned-for real-world, out-of-the-box structuring? We will repurpose the buzzword "value-added". Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to incubate. We often envisioneer user-defined B2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to whiteboard robustly. We will architect the term "extensible". Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging raw bandwidth reports? Without compliance, you will lack angel investors. We will seize the term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with emerging applications? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined infrastructures and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Without well-planned plug-and-play media sourcing, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to extend. Without preplanned niches, e-tailers are forced to become long-term. The Total Quality Control factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our ability to mesh. Do you have a plan to become visionary? A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We will step up our power to strategize without depreciating our ability to generate. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of cross-media convergence. Think macro-integrated. The innovative cross-media re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Without preplanned web services, aggregation are forced to become 24/7, 24/7. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management monitoring but our aptitude to integrate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, visionary, user-defined. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge, compelling branding reports and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of sticky project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will morph the ability of customized, global accounting to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also orchestrate vertically. We will maximize the industry jargon "one-to-one". We will syndicate the ability of ROI metrics to morph. We have come to know that if you enhance transparently then you may also strategize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you monetize transparently then you may also productize interactively. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, holistic" really mean? A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. We believe we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also integrate globally.