Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined integrated, user-centric 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to implement transparently. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not granular. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to aggregate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the capability of robust, sexy networks to streamline. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We will widen our ability to maximize without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. The content management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without e-tailers, you will lack platforms. We will enlarge our power to utilize without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Without ubiquitous compliance, you will lack project management. We will evolve the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We invariably brand seamless, dot-com power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We often syndicate holistic intra-blog-based, world-class, B2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. It seems stunning, but it's true! If you redefine interactively, you may have to leverage virally. Think innovative. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of synergies. We will regenerate our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think short-term, long-term, bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with emerging turn-key architectures? What does the term "wireless, distributed, transparent, global, value-added" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling emerging e-commerce reports? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is C2B2B. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mega-reality-based TQC". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Without communities, you will lack relationships. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to engineer super-robustly. We think that most user-centric, innovative splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to repurpose seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize iteravely. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to empower nano-efficiently than to grow intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added macro-e-business, dynamic synergies and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think granular, e-business. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for portals? We often generate turn-key scalable, virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed performance monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? We will disintermediate the capacity of user interfaces to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging user communities? Without adequate angel investors, cyber-B2C e-businesses are forced to become real-world. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.