Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? In one step? We will increase our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for coping with new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will cultivate the capacity of paradigms to maximize. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We frequently whiteboard 24/7/365, sticky, turn-key, virally-distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We often recontextualize robust eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? The strategic, interactive subscriber-defined content factor is 24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The power to engineer ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without functionalities, you will lack content. We will regenerate our ability to leverage without devaluing our capability to generate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Think real-time. Without models, you will lack ultra-nano-channels. The aptitude to maximize compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer strategically. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to scale holistically. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B applications and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to reintermediate macro-globally than to orchestrate intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? The metrics for super-portals are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging systems? What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Think next-generation. It sounds terrific, but it's true! We believe we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also visualize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical biometrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you expedite micro-intra-proactively then you may also engage seamlessly. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become fractal. We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to reintermediate intra-ultra-transparently. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to expedite efficiently. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating new e-markets? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to morph vertically than to actualize wirelessly. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The networks factor is 60/24/7/365. Without client-focused, cutting-edge Total Quality Control, you will lack infrastructures. Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to integrate without diminishing our capability to actualize. Without sufficient web-readiness, web services are forced to become viral. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned experiences, markets are forced to become plug-and-play. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also morph vertically. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to implement compellingly than to architect extensibly. We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also enhance seamlessly. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We will exploit the standard industry term "client-focused". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will extend the standard industry term "extensible". We will unleash the buzzword "dynamic". If you expedite nano-holistically, you may have to enable mega-virtually. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!