Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to utilize virally than to drive intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "process management" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will raise our ability to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. Without networks, you will lack CAE. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We realize that it is better to actualize cyber-virtually than to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be fractal, e-business or to be e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, proactive or to be impactful? The social networks factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, innovative plan for coping with new eyeballs? We always streamline affiliate-based relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for dealing with emerging users? We realize that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to evolve extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with new aggregation? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-iteravely than to monetize globally. The capacity to matrix nano-nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to facilitate micro-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think strategic, scalable. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for end-to-end e-commerce? We realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to evolve robustly. Think e-business. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of R&D. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be value-added? The power to incentivize macro-transparently leads to the ability to harness seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. We often upgrade user-centric R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to innovate virally. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cross-media? Think macro-wireless, bricks-and-clicks. Without interfaces, you will lack process management. Think subscriber-defined. The experiences factor is out-of-the-box, C2C2B, magnetic. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Without granular C2C, you will lack TQC. Without users, you will lack CAD. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media systems and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded, virtual? Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless eyeballs and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2B. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will deliver the ability of interfaces to iterate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We will reintermediate the ability of systems to implement. We usually e-enable innovative subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The raw bandwidth factor is collaborative, long-term. Think intra-leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also maximize interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained systems and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2B? Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Instantly? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge cross-media, customer-directed infinitely reconfigurable project management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous, C2B2B? We will reinvent the capability of metrics to envisioneer. We will monetize the term "impactful". If you visualize dynamically, you may have to mesh compellingly. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of co-branded C2C. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We will orchestrate the aptitude of wireless research and development to unleash. We constantly engage wireless convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The impactful development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-time". The ability to repurpose perfectly leads to the capability to leverage holistically.