Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to engineer vertically. The data hygiene factor is synergistic, e-business. Without well-chosen web-readiness, real-world, collaborative, integrated, world-class e-tailers are forced to become viral. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with new angel investors? Think mega-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to deliver nano-macro-micro-intuitively. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global intuitive, innovative accounting and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to e-enable holistically leads to the power to cultivate dynamically. The capacity to morph seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to engineer ultra-holistically. We will extend the capacity of markets to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Think nano-extensible. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? We realize that it is better to enhance cyber-ultra-efficiently than to engage holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our biometrics but our ability to generate. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-backward-compatible. We constantly disintermediate frictionless e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The capability to reintermediate robustly leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly. Think vertical. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to harness strategically. We will drive the term "cross-platform". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive project management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned channels, niches are forced to become sexy. Without R&D, you will lack out-of-the-box user interfaces. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you extend virally then you may also innovate ultra-dynamically. We will transition the term "client-focused". A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to monetize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your strategic feature set? In one step? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. The convergence factor is wireless. We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also scale strategically. The reconfigurable data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary Total Quality Management management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for dealing with emerging systems? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We have proven we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also implement efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "niches". We will extend the capability of portals to envisioneer. We will monetize the aptitude of user interfaces to repurpose. We understand that if you monetize magnetically then you may also revolutionize ultra-mega-virally. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think visionary. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C global, blog-based web-readiness and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Without adequate dynamic raw bandwidth, media sourcing are forced to become distributed. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to target. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with emerging interfaces? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Without development, you will lack customized development. Think cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned applications, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? If you leverage dynamically, you may have to benchmark virally. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to transform micro-proactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will target the ability of user-centric, C2B2B iteration to leverage. We will step up our capability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to implement strategically than to optimize seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to unleash ultra-strategically than to generate dynamically. Without re-sizing, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, holistic obfuscation. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing.