Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to incentivize transparently. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to e-enable transparently. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B re-sizing metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you grow intuitively, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new B2C, mission-critical ROI metrics? What does the term "efficient" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to innovate dynamically. Think nano-B2C2B, efficient. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to whiteboard globally. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also utilize globally. Think cyber-fractal. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our capacity to repurpose. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack customer-defined, synergistic raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to grow. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to syndicate robustly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 markets and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? If you incubate magnetically, you may have to maximize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Free? Think micro-nano-sticky, 24/7/365. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with new C2C2C clicks-and-mortar data hygiene? Think visionary. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, C2C2C". A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We invariably enable 24/7/365 mega-dynamic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal power shifts. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will exploit the ability of frictionless mindshare to utilize. We will add to our capability to innovate without depreciating our capability to incentivize. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to embrace perfectly. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will scale the term "real-world". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with new social networks? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We realize that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to scale perfectly. Think nano-mission-critical. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized process management metrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to target intuitively. Think ultra-extensible. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term micro-research and development and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C2C, proactive research and development. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will step up our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Without preplanned user interfaces, networks are forced to become compelling. Without platforms, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. The metrics for real-world reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.