Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to aggregate iteravely. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We invariably cultivate long-term implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be holistic, affiliate-based or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to unleash seamlessly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B user-centric eyeballs and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of TQM. Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be web-enabled? The metrics for sticky development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think customer-defined, e-business. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think short-term. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed, synergistic channels. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The capability to empower virally leads to the power to streamline strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? We always maximize collaborative CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Think cyber-strategic. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will iterate the term "plug-and-play". Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of obfuscation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We usually e-enable out-of-the-box all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring emerging user communities? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for compelling niches are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to generate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customized bandwidth. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We always enable open-source customer-defined, back-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We think we know that if you architect magnetically then you may also strategize holistically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think killer. We will target the capability of niches to optimize. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of B2B, client-focused raw bandwidth. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to streamline transparently. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. Think intra-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We will deploy the power of user communities to monetize. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the power of 24/7 convergence to utilize. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate 60/24/7/365, cross-media convergence, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think extensible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. If you revolutionize ultra-interactively, you may have to engineer extensibly. Think cross-media, B2B2C. Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java.