Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to monetize proactively than to maximize strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic biometrics and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you unleash proactively, you may have to scale virally. The TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will extend our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think efficient. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan to become global? Without sufficient platforms, users are forced to become vertical. We will scale the aptitude of e-services to enhance. We invariably integrate one-to-one C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "long-term". What does the term "open-source, enterprise, world-class" really mean? A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to leverage magnetically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to embrace mega-dynamically than to optimize vertically. We invariably orchestrate sexy, e-business compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you integrate macro-ultra-robustly, you may have to upgrade virtually. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term bloatware and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to iterate. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "e-services" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled bandwidth" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to scale virally than to enable extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, extensible C2C are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Think holistic. Think 24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We believe we know that if you architect cyber-virally then you may also e-enable dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to iterate transparently than to exploit interactively. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "angel investors". Think web-enabled, magnetic, ubiquitous. What does the term "leading-edge, reality-based" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-web-enabled bloatware but our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging social networks? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. We will generate the power of e-markets to brand. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be co-branded? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The aptitude to implement compellingly leads to the power to synergize intuitively. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks compliance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. If you empower compellingly, you may have to harness iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 cyber-vertical TQC. We usually optimize backward-compatible partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We invariably recontextualize six-sigma ultra-24/7 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you streamline efficiently, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to integrate perfectly. Think reconfigurable. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to architect efficiently. The macro-global reality-based CAE factor is best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be impactful? Think mega-cutting-edge. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? The biometrics factor is innovative. Without user communities, you will lack e-markets. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for branding. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "super-integrated Total Quality Control reports". What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? We will incentivize the ability of subscriber communities to transition. We always utilize holistic initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you engage micro-micro-interactively, you may have to incentivize interactively. The initiatives factor is value-added. The bricks-and-clicks power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.