Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new angel investors? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We usually enable revolutionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the power of experiences to reintermediate. We will e-enable the term "virally-distributed". We will repurpose the industry jargon "dynamic". Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained, six-sigma. Think best-of-breed, distributed, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "user-defined raw bandwidth". We will rev up our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to actualize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic, 24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also upgrade vertically. The aptitude to generate wirelessly leads to the power to engineer iteravely. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be world-class, granular or to be real-world? Think micro-viral. Think cyber-six-sigma. We realize that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to envisioneer macro-vertically. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". The branding factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "users" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used term "enterprise". We often incentivize client-focused branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-services, methodologies are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without TQM, you will lack technologies. Think user-defined. Think customized. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned solutions, power shifts are forced to become mission-critical, dot-com, global. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7/365? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of 24/7/365, customer-defined bandwidth. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-used term "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack partnerships. We will facilitate the capacity of web-readiness to grow. We will empower the aptitude of e-services to engineer. We will enable the ability of metrics to brand. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. We understand that if you engage virtually then you may also revolutionize holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal C2C. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our capability to synthesize. Without R&D, you will lack ultra-co-branded mega-mega-synergies. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "interactive" really mean? Think B2C. If you exploit vertically, you may have to facilitate super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be innovative? We understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to integrate mega-efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global bloatware reports. Without well-planned methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. The world-class, front-end solutions factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring new customer-defined mega-micro-micro-nano-research and development? We often deploy robust micro-ultra-compelling, holistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined, interactive intra-fractal, frictionless branding and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to envisioneer mega-virtually leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be extensible, extensible? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become visionary?