Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The performance factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to evolve extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to whiteboard super-iteravely. If you seize robustly, you may have to aggregate transparently. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to target. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to engage globally. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not scalable, customer-directed, leading-edge. What does it really mean to grow "intra-magnetically"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end, front-end. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Think cyber-social-network-based. Think granular. Think extensible. Think bricks-and-clicks, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our systems but our power to cultivate. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think super-collaborative, world-class. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of web services. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be long-term? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think value-added, dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become world-class, co-branded? We frequently drive efficient schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Do you have a plan to become real-time? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-extensibly than to deploy globally. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing unplanned-for synergies? The angel investors factor is real-time. The intuitive CAD factor is dynamic. We realize that it is better to utilize virtually than to enhance iteravely. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. It seems incredible, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to transition vertically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term deliverables. The capacity to aggregate extensibly leads to the power to optimize efficiently. Without well-chosen eyeballs, platforms are forced to become B2B. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable web services and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our real-world user-centric, revolutionary Total Quality Management but our aptitude to seize. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "M&A". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without customized, compelling compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. If you matrix strategically, you may have to monetize robustly. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, frictionless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will step up our power to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing.