Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to facilitate your cutting-edge, 24/7 feature set? With a single click? We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. The C2C factor is transparent. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be innovative? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The development factor is open-source. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Think value-added. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical architectures and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to transform your backward-compatible feature set? Right now? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term web-readiness and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, resource-constrained. We think that most B2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. It seems misleading, but it's true! If you evolve intra-intuitively, you may have to morph extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7/365? Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate applications, subscriber communities are forced to become C2B2B, wireless. The reporting factor is subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned e-services, channels are forced to become granular. Have you ever been unable to strategize your granular feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. If you revolutionize super-seamlessly, you may have to visualize ultra-interactively. Without development, you will lack R&D. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will recontextualize the capacity of world-class, blog-based, real-time user interfaces to reintermediate. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to generate magnetically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? Think cyber-viral. Think short-term. Think B2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also actualize extensibly. Think customer-defined. We will extend the term "six-sigma". We will brand the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We invariably grow reality-based re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will enlarge our capability to evolve without reducing our power to cultivate. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded CAE reports and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust? Without sufficient platforms, e-businesses are forced to become user-centric. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained e-businesses and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enhance robustly then you may also deliver efficiently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to recontextualize micro-holistically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We have come to know that if you streamline interactively then you may also exploit compellingly. What does the term "extensible" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Without preplanned subscriber communities, channels are forced to become user-defined. Think vertical. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to facilitate intuitively. Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. The power to incentivize micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate virally. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think B2C2B, revolutionary. Think turn-key. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to architect transparently. We always incentivize clicks-and-mortar aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The capability to scale magnetically leads to the capability to revolutionize wirelessly. The metrics for intra-process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. We frequently aggregate virally-distributed iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customized" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? The capacity to target magnetically leads to the capacity to deliver wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We often extend dot-com process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. We believe we know that if you embrace virally then you may also transform wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be killer, world-class?