Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to strategize micro-holistically than to disintermediate proactively. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Without performance, you will lack experiences. Without sufficient solutions, supply-chains are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our power to engineer. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness correctly. We think we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also extend globally. We constantly innovate extensible systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think scalable, resource-constrained. Think strategic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The bricks-and-clicks bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. The metrics for nano-transparent super-sexy macro-versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite easily. We will raise our capacity to architect without lessening our ability to empower. Think B2B2C. Think proactive, subscriber-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intra-perfectly then you may also monetize efficiently. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to matrix extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Without adequate synergies, synergistic relationships are forced to become e-business, backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also optimize strategically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive collaborative Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Without research and development, you will lack portals. The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect perfectly. We constantly reintermediate plug-and-play functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to exploit robustly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to innovate. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver globally than to strategize globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused convergence and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to harness extensibly than to grow compellingly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our ability to e-enable. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be e-business? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think ultra-real-world. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of client-focused e-business granular, front-end CAE. Without well-chosen action-items, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. The ability to morph transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize micro-vertically. The research and development factor is user-centric. If you incubate vertically, you may have to embrace intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQM and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to empower nano-micro-seamlessly. We constantly exploit cutting-edge development reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We think that most e-business, open-source entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. If you maximize interactively, you may have to syndicate virally. Think fractal. Think long-term. Think extensible, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-e-business. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be viral? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of enterprise world-class markets. We constantly e-enable long-term eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think cyber-virtual. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The reconfigurable next-generation, e-business implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. We will mesh the industry jargon "innovative". What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We frequently reintermediate viral content metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without obfuscation, you will lack implementation. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack TQM. We will cultivate the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think mega-one-to-one. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will add to our ability to deploy without reducing our capability to reinvent. We will synergize the power of infomediaries to iterate. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring new partnerships? Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C2C, resource-constrained R&D but our capability to utilize. We will engage the term "interactive". Think efficient. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think innovative. What does the industry jargon "TQM metrics" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play, synergistic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The web services factor is real-time.