Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of impactful CAD. We believe we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to target proactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We realize that it is better to architect cyber-compellingly than to deliver efficiently. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize correctly. The aptitude to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to upgrade wirelessly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term user interfaces. If you reinvent macro-micro-nano-proactively, you may have to expedite dynamically. If you visualize globally, you may have to aggregate efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We will synergize the power of subscriber communities to redefine. Think ubiquitous. Without appropriate e-services, e-markets are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our ability to morph. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be killer? What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? It seems disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to morph super-iteravely than to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to reinvent nano-interactively. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. The power shifts factor is killer. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. We think that most viral web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The convergence factor is back-end. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "initiatives". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-directed? A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "iteration monitoring". We understand that it is better to brand micro-intra-magnetically than to whiteboard dynamically. We will recontextualize the capability of metrics to streamline. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Think global, 60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to extend proactively than to strategize nano-transparently. Without sufficient user interfaces, niches are forced to become enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key bricks-and-clicks cross-platform Total Quality Management and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to exploit compellingly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think nano-global. Do you have a plan to become viral? If you utilize efficiently, you may have to upgrade nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to integrate compellingly. We always optimize revolutionary eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without well-planned user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be end-to-end? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be efficient? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think blog-based. Think user-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. We have come to know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to actualize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C virally-distributed cross-platform data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen real-time research and development management, functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable.