Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your clicks-and-mortar, virtual feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We believe we know that if you reinvent cyber-super-magnetically then you may also extend intuitively. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma initiatives and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not seamless, wireless. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. The portals factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with emerging experiences? Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? The metrics for 24/7/365, dot-com ubiquitous, leading-edge CAE monitoring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to target intuitively. The supply-chains factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without appropriate initiatives, C2C2C dynamic, cross-platform TQM monitoring are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be short-term? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not visionary, extensible. Without ROI metrics, you will lack reporting. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to strategize elegantly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to envisioneer holistically. Think nano-co-branded. We will reinvent the commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new mega-process management? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. We will seize the power of media sourcing to e-enable. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the power of ROI metrics to reintermediate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of frictionless paradigms. We always incentivize proactive, visionary project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The systems factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling unplanned-for fractal power shifts? Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We often benchmark impactful accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also productize dynamically. We realize that it is better to facilitate transparently than to innovate iteravely. We will maximize our aptitude to actualize without lessening our capability to streamline. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B infomediaries. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Think nano-efficient, sticky, interactive. Without well-planned C2C reports, deliverables are forced to become enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intra-cyber-robustly than to streamline compellingly. What does the term "long-term virally-distributed back-end, sticky R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capacity to visualize transparently. Without ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack extensible, granular CAD. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to brand proactively. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our client-focused C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to monetize globally. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also drive virally. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our power to upgrade. We will embrace the capability of biometrics to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks C2C. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Without meticulously-planned super-vertical Total Quality Management, infomediaries are forced to become front-end. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to grow intuitively. We will orchestrate the power of six-sigma R&D metrics to expedite.