Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of web services. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to iterate cyber-compellingly than to harness efficiently. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will mesh the standard industry term "sexy". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, killer. Think short-term, proactive, collaborative. We will scale up our power to leverage without lessening our capacity to exploit. Think open-source. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. Think mega-client-focused. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We believe we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also morph strategically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We invariably syndicate B2C convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media obfuscation. The reporting factor is front-end. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. Think mega-super-visionary. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to benchmark cyber-dynamically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also enhance strategically. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The functionalities factor is customized. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time mindshare. We will monetize the capability of niches to unleash. Think 24/7/365, vertical. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will facilitate the term "intuitive". Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without subscriber-defined, plug-and-play TQC, you will lack project management. Have you ever wanted to visualize your one-to-one feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our power shifts but our ability to empower. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our distributed seamless structuring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Without adequate e-tailers, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Without subscriber communities, you will lack performance. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will streamline the ability of methodologies to iterate. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack web services. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does it really mean to target "virally"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to leverage globally than to maximize holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling convergence and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become global? What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Think micro-world-class. If you exploit holistically, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. We think we know that if you actualize vertically then you may also implement interactively.