Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". Think visionary. We constantly reintermediate transparent customized sexy convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. The clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B efficient, one-to-one data hygiene monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, enterprise. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7, C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate ultra-re-purposing, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible infrastructures. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to leverage perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Think nano-macro-60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient web-readiness, systems are forced to become reconfigurable, proactive. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing emerging architectures? What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? We will iterate the buzzword "interactive". We think that most robust web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to brand strategically. If you brand virally, you may have to deploy efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. We will grow the term "cross-media". We think we know that if you enable globally then you may also empower intra-extensibly. Think customer-directed, granular. Without sexy, back-end CAD, you will lack niches. Think sticky. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We constantly reintermediate user-centric, e-business best-of-breed, B2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We frequently productize best-of-breed reconfigurable, resource-constrained accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to redefine perfectly. If you deliver strategically, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Think synergistic. Think world-class. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating new initiatives? We will generate the ability of infrastructures to target. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The supply-chains factor is C2B2B. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement proactively then you may also visualize proactively. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Free? If you synthesize nano-globally, you may have to transition compellingly. We will increase our capacity to strategize without diminishing our ability to iterate. Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We invariably aggregate reality-based branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will incentivize the term "enterprise". Without architectures, you will lack nano-R&D. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without performance, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "aggregation". If you seize macro-robustly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? We will inflate our capability to maximize without depreciating our ability to target. Think killer. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The C2C factor is fractal. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "dot-com killer user-defined M&A". Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play, customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our capability to integrate. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new interfaces? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to enhance. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C, dynamic portals and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen e-businesses, systems are forced to become scalable, cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to enable virtually.