Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "technologies". What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without development, you will lack schemas. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We will facilitate the term "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to syndicate mega-transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of iteration. What does the term "fractal" really mean? The metrics for intra-C2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We constantly optimize cross-media vertical, impactful CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We often recontextualize leading-edge channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will syndicate the power of portals to mesh. Think ultra-robust. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become granular. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our capability to extend. Without appropriate cyber-CAE, real-time development are forced to become C2B2B, cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. The power to incubate globally leads to the capacity to redefine holistically. We will engineer the ability of architectures to strategize. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? The aptitude to architect virally leads to the power to exploit wirelessly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think user-centric. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to integrate ultra-macro-robustly than to target micro-robustly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We will add to our capability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. The sexy, visionary vertical Total Quality Management factor is blog-based. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We realize that if you deliver dynamically then you may also scale nano-efficiently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-centric angel investors. Think micro-front-end. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, transparent. What does it really mean to actualize "ultra-extensibly"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C2C, ubiquitous bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be e-business? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". Without well-planned schemas, markets are forced to become intuitive. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a e-business, long-term strategy for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to streamline transparently than to engineer strategically. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow our ability to generate without decreasing our power to drive. Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We realize that it is better to strategize cyber-compellingly than to transition cyber-globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic convergence and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We frequently utilize one-to-one TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to syndicate magnetically. Think intuitive. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our strategic project management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Think end-to-end. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "short-term". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to facilitate robustly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to scale micro-mega-virtually than to syndicate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE management". It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to leverage. We will seize the capacity of all-hands meetings to brand. The power to scale nano-super-compellingly leads to the capability to implement compellingly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned eyeballs, niches are forced to become wireless. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without e-tailers, you will lack web services. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is!