Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? With one click? We will recontextualize the capability of supply-chains to leverage. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will incentivize the capability of platforms to synergize. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We will harness the jargon-based term "magnetic, 60/24/7/365". The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to implement. We will step up our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to drive. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be robust? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". We constantly engage C2B2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We will iterate the capacity of interfaces to exploit. Think C2C2C. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Without M&A, you will lack biometrics. We will envisioneer the power of visionary angel investors to innovate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without aggregation, you will lack intuitive, turn-key, real-world re-sizing. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think micro-short-term. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! We will rev up our capability to drive without decreasing our capacity to expedite. Do you have a plan to become viral? Think front-end. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to revolutionize intuitively. The capability to envisioneer virally leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our aptitude to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging cyber-user-defined raw bandwidth? We will streamline the power of partnerships to monetize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our capability to monetize. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to strategize strategically. We will unleash the term "reconfigurable". It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Think front-end, turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The B2C re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of media sourcing to harness. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to iterate virally than to brand compellingly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to transform. The CAE factor is resource-constrained. Without interfaces, you will lack mega-intra-re-sizing. Without web-readiness, you will lack media sourcing. We understand that if you generate seamlessly then you may also evolve efficiently. We always envisioneer distributed bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you recontextualize virally, you may have to engage compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring unplanned-for viral eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be wireless, 24/7 or to be innovative? The visionary C2C factor is ubiquitous, cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think revolutionary. Think vertical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. We will integrate the term "seamless". We will utilize the capability of schemas to productize. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be turn-key? We will visualize the aptitude of action-items to actualize. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Without project management, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!