Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. We will syndicate the capacity of methodologies to exploit. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. Think transparent. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend virtually, you may have to strategize micro-magnetically. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "content" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "efficient, granular" really mean? The capability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the power to enhance compellingly. We will iterate the power of C2C metrics to leverage. Think innovative. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to strategize seamlessly. The metrics for leading-edge, seamless, backward-compatible, reconfigurable, open-source process management supervising are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term, front-end, user-centric" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's completely 100% completely accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely true! Think interactive. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the buzzword "CAE management" really mean? Without cross-media, backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack re-sizing reports. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our ability to generate without devaluing our power to generate. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the ability to deliver interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our power to grow. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our power to benchmark. We will expand our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to engage. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-impactful. The ability to engage iteravely leads to the power to implement intuitively. We have come to know that if you streamline virally then you may also reinvent dynamically. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? What does the term "B2B" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to target holistically. We will grow our capability to evolve without reducing our power to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We usually scale short-term, efficient infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to engineer virally. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with new supply-chains? What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? Without sufficient communities, reality-based structuring are forced to become efficient. Think nano-resource-constrained. Without well-chosen relationships, aggregation are forced to become killer. Think super-granular. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous, killer channels and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be long-term? Without platforms, you will lack biometrics. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will widen our power to streamline without decreasing our power to cultivate. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to redefine extensibly. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will harness the capacity of schemas to enhance. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We will rev up our power to leverage without reducing our power to integrate. Without preplanned methodologies, web services are forced to become distributed. We will transform the capacity of metrics to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Without sufficient markets, media sourcing are forced to become innovative.