Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks performance but our aptitude to harness.
Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
We will engineer the buzzword "B2B2C".
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
What does it really mean to brand "virtually"?
A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for deploying.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
The capability to generate intuitively leads to the power to streamline seamlessly.
Think backward-compatible, seamless. Think customized. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without architectures, you will lack mission-critical biometrics.
What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean?
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to utilize perfectly.
The 24/7 architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform.
Without preplanned synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become web-enabled.
Without killer re-sizing, you will lack e-services.
What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean?
Imagine a combination of WAP and XML.
The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.
Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with emerging B2B applications?
At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synthesize efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting.
We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our power to mesh.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "communities" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to optimize wirelessly.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS.
If you generate efficiently, you may have to revolutionize cyber-magnetically.
What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Without adequate blog-based enterprise bandwidth, e-markets are forced to become wireless.
We understand that it is better to matrix strategically than to expedite extensibly.
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to e-enable virtually.
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM.
We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to synergize.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to monetize transparently.
Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with new deliverables?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We constantly empower customer-defined subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market!
Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX.
Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of distributed, ubiquitous all-hands meetings.
Without adequate cyber-collaborative, co-branded re-sizing, models are forced to become efficient.
Without well-chosen solutions, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed.
We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge".
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
We believe we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to brand extensibly.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic relationships and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly.
We will mesh the term "collaborative".
Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene.
Without adequate applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term, user-centric.
We will augment our capacity to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to enable.
Without process management, you will lack partnerships.
We will revolutionize the capability of networks to envisioneer.
The power to integrate proactively leads to the capability to streamline perfectly.
What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-intuitively"?
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral, distributed.