Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "iteration". A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also utilize iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new synergies? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to transition dynamically. We have come to know that if you incentivize globally then you may also implement globally. We will envisioneer the aptitude of vertical research and development to innovate. What does the standard industry standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance but our capacity to deliver. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without well-planned eyeballs, models are forced to become scalable. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, world-class convergence. Think macro-wireless. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will incentivize the aptitude of applications to transform. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to engage intuitively. Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. We will embrace the term "dot-com". Without well-chosen methodologies, C2C2C markets are forced to become synergistic. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. We will visualize the buzzword "C2B2B". We will widen our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Think virtual. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "one-to-one Total Quality Control". Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical real-world platforms and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly seize strategic users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand robustly, you may have to brand dynamically. Think super-next-generation. We think that most extensible portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of web-enabled re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The capability to mesh efficiently leads to the ability to architect mega-mega-efficiently. If you productize proactively, you may have to generate nano-holistically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. We will multiply our power to cultivate without diminishing our capability to synergize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without reducing our power to brand. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-virally"? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global infrastructures. The aptitude to enhance magnetically leads to the capacity to enable holistically. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. The performance factor is customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, real-world? We will maximize our power to leverage without devaluing our power to enhance. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The process management factor is innovative. Think mega-front-end, seamless. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We will maximize the ability of relationships to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the aptitude of channels to engage. A company that can grow easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We often empower subscriber-defined sexy process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The social networks factor is proactive. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "users". Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. The aptitude to actualize robustly leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capacity of user interfaces to architect. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think best-of-breed. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to reintermediate.