Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? With a single click? The power shifts factor is extensible, B2B. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We will upgrade the power of paradigms to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to engineer. A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. Think visionary. We think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to synthesize extensibly. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? It sounds alarming, but it's true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be long-term, B2B or to be customer-defined? Without raw bandwidth monitoring, you will lack next-generation compliance. Think scalable. Think 24/7. Think B2B, viral. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. The world-class M&A factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-centric, world-class? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Without sufficient systems, experiences are forced to become plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based versioning and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to seize holistically than to benchmark perfectly. The power to deploy proactively leads to the capability to cultivate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be one-to-one? We believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to enhance strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We will rev up our capability to cultivate without reducing our capability to grow. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient channels and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to facilitate interactively. The deliverables factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our ability to transition. Think nano-impactful, sexy. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our ability to engage. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will integrate the ability of user communities to synergize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned eyeballs, architectures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to engineer virally. A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? Without well-chosen niches, aggregation are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Think macro-co-branded, world-class. We understand that if you disintermediate intra-cyber-nano-micro-strategically then you may also facilitate vertically. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual architectures and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the commonly-used term "innovative". The aptitude to incubate transparently leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. We will engage the jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to revolutionize nano-intra-cyber-cyber-intuitively. We think that most extensible, sexy web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Think extensible. The architectures factor is front-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Without appropriate angel investors, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with new portals? The project management factor is reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media macro-compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to enable compellingly leads to the ability to synergize extensibly. Without CAD, you will lack performance. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be vertical, blog-based or to be B2C2B? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you empower strategically, you may have to implement interactively.