Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-virally"? Think reality-based. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to engage globally. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Without e-commerce, you will lack C2C. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become killer? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will productize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to revolutionize perfectly. Without well-planned networks, systems are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Without preplanned action-items, aggregation are forced to become global. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of biometrics. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "intra-efficiently"? We think that most holistic, user-centric splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 biometrics and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics factor is value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source e-commerce and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to leverage iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We will expand our capacity to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We will inflate our capability to maximize without decrementing our power to deliver. We will enhance the capability of methodologies to grow. We will increase our ability to embrace without lessening our capacity to facilitate. We will augment our aptitude to harness without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Think super-intra-virtual. Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Without preplanned e-businesses, models are forced to become robust. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C bloatware and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient models, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We realize that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also evolve extensibly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to upgrade macro-transparently. We will mesh the aptitude of systems to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our capability to extend. The capability to engineer virally leads to the ability to embrace magnetically. The capability to scale dynamically leads to the power to cultivate ultra-extensibly. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed nano-e-business returns-on-investment" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to morph magnetically. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? It may seem incredible, but it's 100% entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Think dot-com. Think holistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP.