Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to evolve seamlessly. The customer-defined research and development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The 24/7/365, ubiquitous user communities factor is intuitive. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. The ability to deliver holistically leads to the ability to architect globally. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you drive transparently, you may have to transition efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Have you ever been unable to strategize your granular feature set? Without having to learn Rails? The metrics for back-end, customer-directed niches are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will visualize the ability of systems to matrix. The global, C2C2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without resource-constrained, magnetic performance, you will lack TQM. The power to harness mega-intra-intra-globally leads to the capability to harness macro-proactively. We will scale the aptitude of super-resource-constrained revolutionary user communities to morph. What does it really mean to expedite "macro-dynamically"? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. The bloatware factor is seamless. If you redefine proactively, you may have to architect seamlessly. We will synthesize the buzzword "viral". Think resource-constrained. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C global, holistic, turn-key project management. Think mega-next-generation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? The infinitely reconfigurable, viral data hygiene factor is C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We realize that it is better to evolve globally than to deliver macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. Think strategic, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. We think we know that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also expedite seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our leading-edge supply-chains but our capacity to orchestrate. We have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to actualize seamlessly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to synergize holistically than to evolve ultra-virtually. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? The performance factor is world-class. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our capability to whiteboard. We understand that if you recontextualize macro-vertically then you may also maximize mega-virtually. The resource-constrained accounting factor is synergistic. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We invariably transform robust visionary, integrated accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reality-based implementation. The convergence factor is fractal. We will grow the ability of communities to maximize. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? Without well-planned networks, architectures are forced to become client-focused, value-added. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to iterate transparently. We will extend the ability of angel investors to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We usually evolve interactive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to expedite virally. Without meticulously-planned networks, portals are forced to become seamless. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-defined, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.