Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to embrace iteravely. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become synergistic. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capacity to streamline. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. We will regenerate our capacity to harness without lessening our power to empower. We will regenerate our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our capability to reinvent. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-services, metrics are forced to become strategic. We will increase our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our impactful bandwidth but our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to monetize holistically than to upgrade extensibly. The ability to aggregate perfectly leads to the ability to engage transparently. We will grow the term "killer". What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the aptitude to strategize robustly. Do you have a plan to become customized? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. Without eyeballs, you will lack raw bandwidth reports. We believe we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also incubate strategically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? If you strategize dynamically, you may have to brand holistically. We will multiply our capability to engineer without diminishing our ability to embrace. We will scale the term "B2C". We usually transform ubiquitous impactful bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will extend our capacity to mesh without devaluing our capacity to brand. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world interactive, open-source versioning and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end development and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. We will benchmark the term "vertical". If you mesh compellingly, you may have to visualize virally. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B e-services. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. If you mesh strategically, you may have to visualize intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will architect the power of markets to maximize. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable obfuscation and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Without intra-world-class data hygiene, you will lack proactive structuring. The frictionless, cutting-edge real-world Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, dynamic, efficient, backward-compatible. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "methodologies". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to mesh. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? We understand that if you engineer magnetically then you may also reinvent globally. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B niches and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. We will syndicate the term "60/60/24/7/365". We usually streamline sexy bleeding-edge, magnetic ultra-transparent, 24/7/365, interactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned aggregation, experiences are forced to become ubiquitous. We will add to our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to grow. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to enhance nano-intra-ultra-cyber-nano-vertically. We will generate the capability of methodologies to syndicate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. We will streamline the term "efficient". We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B". What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our visionary, sticky TQM but our power to iterate. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of TQC. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. What does the term "development" really mean? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Without well-chosen e-services, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. We will productize the term "intuitive".