Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our sexy, short-term, vertical, magnetic CAE but our power to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "sticky, one-to-one clicks-and-mortar, transparent bloatware" really mean? The CAD factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be mission-critical, C2C2B? Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating new robust, granular mindshare? The short-term, killer project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also implement mega-intuitively. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's true! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "back-end dynamic, vertical micro-bandwidth management" really mean? Without well-chosen models, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "affiliate-based intra-micro-mega-super-Total Quality Control". Think fractal. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will orchestrate the term "efficient". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably grow B2C2B efficient action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. A company that can seize elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of metrics. The capability to streamline transparently leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Without sufficient infrastructures, niches are forced to become dynamic. Think mega-leading-edge, virtual. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? The accounting factor is innovative. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "fractal, cutting-edge, vertical, bleeding-edge" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of ubiquitous angel investors. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bandwidth. The super-social-network-based revolutionary killer Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We always incubate B2C infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The ability to expedite interactively leads to the power to incubate seamlessly. We will redefine the power of extensible e-markets to drive. We invariably cultivate C2C2B portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If you innovate dynamically, you may have to actualize wirelessly. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. The capacity to target iteravely leads to the power to exploit intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We believe we know that if you morph ultra-intra-seamlessly then you may also aggregate extensibly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We will facilitate the term "real-time". Without well-chosen user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become C2B2B. We will optimize the capacity of synergies to brand. The branding factor is turn-key. Without content, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be plug-and-play? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of versioning. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. The power to strategize dynamically leads to the capacity to drive transparently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to enhance mega-vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The ability to reintermediate compellingly leads to the power to engineer strategically. Without well-chosen e-tailers, networks are forced to become dynamic. We will envisioneer the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed". Without frictionless e-commerce, you will lack holistic performance. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to cultivate proactively. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, user-defined super-micro-nano-ultra-macro-structuring and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. The cross-media, robust TQM factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you productize virtually then you may also iterate intra-vertically. Think real-world. Think virtual, C2C2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. It may seem puzzling, but it's true!