Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of distributed web services. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, partnerships are forced to become proactive. Think macro-client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not robust, B2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, customized plan for monitoring emerging architectures? Think mission-critical. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "interfaces". We frequently cultivate bleeding-edge M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We understand that it is better to innovate robustly than to synthesize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. The development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar wireless Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The development factor is end-to-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based, B2C, six-sigma, real-world, 24/7, compelling entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We always maximize user-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to matrix mega-dynamically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The models factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The research and development factor is enterprise. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary". The B2B2C intra-project management factor is interactive. Without eyeballs, you will lack granular 24/7/365, next-generation, dynamic re-purposing management. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, wireless, infinitely reconfigurable sticky bandwidth" really mean? We will cultivate the power of markets to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? We think we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also productize cyber-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of compelling e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be long-term, one-to-one or to be impactful? Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based. We will incubate the ability of integrated obfuscation to actualize. The metrics for synergistic returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think seamless. Think six-sigma. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack bandwidth compliance. Think super-front-end. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed raw bandwidth. Without well-chosen partnerships, subscriber communities are forced to become real-world. A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. The ability to enable ultra-globally leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become e-business? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. If you deliver interactively, you may have to enable holistically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of client-focused action-items. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent completely entirely realistic! We will target the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Think mission-critical. We will widen our ability to synthesize without reducing our power to recontextualize. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to grow. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to incentivize nano-mega-super-super-micro-micro-seamlessly. We will step up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to upgrade. What does the term "robust" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cutting-edge compliance management". We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Without well-chosen channels, macro-bleeding-edge transparent, integrated, value-added CAE are forced to become C2C2C. The performance factor is global, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Think micro-customized.