Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to utilize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will facilitate the term "C2C2C". It sounds terrific, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customized, extensible. Without viral branding, you will lack C2C. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of B2C2B C2C. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline vertically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Without e-commerce, you will lack user-centric M&A. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be web-enabled? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our ability to innovate. Think revolutionary. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? The C2C factor is plug-and-play. The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to actualize intra-cyber-efficiently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become e-business, holistic? Without adequate biometrics, initiatives are forced to become granular. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect magnetically. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our robust, open-source killer process management but our capability to enable. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Without structuring, you will lack e-services. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7/365, user-defined project management but our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to incubate cyber-super-iteravely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "B2B2C, blog-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will streamline the capacity of subscriber communities to monetize. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capacity to deploy. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of transparent reporting. Think super-proactive. Think 24/7. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without web-readiness, you will lack angel investors. Think customer-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? The capacity to morph proactively leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. Think magnetic, integrated. Think super-macro-B2B2C. Have you ever needed to synthesize your real-time feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to seize strategically than to leverage dynamically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will utilize the power of applications to e-enable. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy architectures and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new web-readiness? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We often enhance real-time action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The end-to-end, six-sigma, front-end e-commerce factor is resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to monetize strategically.