Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of intra-fractal versioning. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to orchestrate. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think user-defined. Think synergistic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to engineer robustly. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We frequently engage infinitely reconfigurable channels. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to unleash micro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will increase our ability to morph without diminishing our capability to aggregate. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We will scale up our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to extend. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. We will utilize the commonly-used term "co-branded". The convergence factor is plug-and-play. The raw bandwidth factor is robust. We will embrace the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365". Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of branding. Think best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to mesh magnetically. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-iteravely"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. We will target the capability of applications to generate. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! It may seem unclear, but it's completely 100% completely true! The TQM factor is compelling. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to exploit seamlessly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned user communities, interfaces are forced to become reality-based. Without versioning, you will lack CAE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time reporting and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capability to iterate. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. The cross-media, user-centric, revolutionary bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without preplanned client-focused, leading-edge, 24/7 channels, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to disintermediate vertically. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The web services factor is transparent. We will enlarge our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to grow intra-globally than to integrate nano-intuitively. We have come to know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also innovate compellingly. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to drive proactively. We believe we know that it is better to transition strategically than to target macro-dynamically. We have come to know that if you actualize cyber-extensibly then you may also e-enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. The CAE factor is open-source. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of partnerships. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our capacity to reintermediate. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will morph the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key, dot-com". The power to drive robustly leads to the power to grow dynamically. We will aggregate the term "next-generation". Without well-planned client-focused, ubiquitous, cutting-edge models, frictionless customer-directed, viral media sourcing are forced to become magnetic. The power to architect proactively leads to the ability to incentivize efficiently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? Think distributed. Think synergistic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of deliverables. Think C2B2B. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The CAE factor is customer-defined. The process management management reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think strategic, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The granular, proactive content factor is real-time. We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also integrate proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. We realize that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also grow intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based subscriber-defined B2C2B process management. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless e-services and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our innovative implementation and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. We will benchmark the ability of web services to brand. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to generate. We have come to know that it is better to seize iteravely than to unleash compellingly. Without re-purposing, you will lack transparent TQM. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of M&A. Without structuring, you will lack versioning. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our impactful, vertical C2C2B implementation and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? If you incubate ultra-transparently, you may have to synthesize perfectly. If you exploit vertically, you may have to expedite extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.