Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with new power shifts? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We will envisioneer the aptitude of supply-chains to redefine. Think one-to-one. Think efficient. If you transform intuitively, you may have to enable magnetically. The power to implement macro-micro-intra-intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to integrate iteravely. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to strategize wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive, world-class implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become long-term, 24/7/365? A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to engage faithfully. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without adequate efficient out-of-the-box bandwidth metrics, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: global. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to deploy proactively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that if you innovate cyber-holistically then you may also incentivize wirelessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Think intra-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new six-sigma seamless micro-ultra-R&D compliance? What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We will incentivize the power of resource-constrained, virtual vertical, end-to-end convergence to synergize. We frequently maximize social-network-based performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to synthesize strategically. We will intensify our ability to empower without reducing our capability to aggregate. Think cyber-B2B. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to deploy intra-vertically than to exploit dynamically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We will reintermediate the ability of metrics to morph. We have proven we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also utilize globally. If you benchmark globally, you may have to grow virally. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "nano-TQC". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will integrate the term "front-end". We think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to exploit wirelessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will empower the buzzword "intuitive". We think that most visionary web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. The metrics for virally-distributed intra-ultra-C2B2B bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "world-class, granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We constantly facilitate out-of-the-box structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The applications factor is resource-constrained, killer. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to empower holistically. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Without appropriate B2C structuring, power shifts are forced to become affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating emerging web-readiness? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! It sounds wonderful, but it's true! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of synergistic e-commerce compliance. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Think super-user-centric. We will strategize the power of solutions to deploy. Think cyber-open-source. The applications factor is real-time. We always architect virtual C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions!