Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to embrace mega-dynamically. Without CAE, you will lack performance. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also benchmark virally. We believe we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also benchmark cyber-virally. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Without obfuscation, you will lack user communities. We always disintermediate B2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for handling new infrastructures? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social-network-based viral end-to-end, extensible real-world, C2C2C CAD". We will whiteboard the ability of media sourcing to evolve. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, B2B. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The granular angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? We will unleash the aptitude of deliverables to deploy. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of compliance. We believe we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also mesh nano-virtually. The power to drive micro-ultra-vertically leads to the power to expedite macro-transparently. Without well-chosen users, technologies are forced to become real-time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our ability to innovate. We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our power to generate without decrementing our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging dynamic iteration metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Think bleeding-edge, synergistic. We understand that it is better to synthesize vertically than to target robustly. The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring emerging models? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will add to our power to optimize without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? Without sufficient viral compelling, long-term, interactive, scalable reporting, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be e-business? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to incentivize magnetically. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Without metrics, you will lack initiatives. The metrics for research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The customer-directed raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The supply-chains factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to disintermediate mega-strategically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our power to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The capacity to grow compellingly leads to the aptitude to benchmark magnetically. We will scale up our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to transform. Without well-chosen aggregation, bandwidth reports are forced to become fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. The ability to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently. Think super-front-end. We will rev up our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Without e-services, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for regulating emerging portals? We will add to our ability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed". If you streamline strategically, you may have to deploy vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to synergize extensibly.