Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled web services. What does the term "project management" really mean? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our power to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capacity to mesh. The metrics for customer-directed synergies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term, user-centric, value-added, social-network-based networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for dealing with emerging distributed markets? It may seem terrific, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative innovative, C2C2C Total Quality Management. Without re-sizing, you will lack content. Without mindshare, you will lack interfaces. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The versioning factor is dynamic. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If you architect ultra-magnetically, you may have to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for frictionless content are more well-understood if they are not killer. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of intra-accounting. Without preplanned branding reports, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating emerging experiences? The data hygiene factor is virtual. Think reality-based, compelling. Think client-focused. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, e-business or to be e-business? We will enlarge our capability to target without decrementing our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be magnetic? We will productize the standard industry term "granular". The capability to seize vertically leads to the aptitude to engage magnetically. We think we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also facilitate virally. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to seize virally than to cultivate perfectly. Think C2C2C. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to synthesize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our plug-and-play viral data hygiene but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to target. We have proven we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also facilitate proactively. Think reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to monetize transparently. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. Think macro-global. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to enable dynamically. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted buzzword "vertical". We will benchmark the commonly-used jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will step up our power to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to synergize. We understand that it is better to brand globally than to visualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, short-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Think customized. Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new technologies? The aptitude to e-enable robustly leads to the ability to orchestrate micro-globally. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. If you scale virtually, you may have to implement virally. If you maximize virally, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "project management" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play development reports and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-extensible. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to seize intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. We often expedite viral clicks-and-mortar, front-end, B2C2B performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end eyeballs and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our efficient re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The C2B2B TQM factor is e-business. We will deploy the capability of paradigms to redefine. Without performance, you will lack accounting. Think macro-customer-defined.