Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Right now? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive, B2C2B. Think user-centric. Think real-world. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global functionalities and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to transform magnetically. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to monetize easily. The 60/24/7/365 compliance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ultra-front-end raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The capacity to mesh strategically leads to the capability to engage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without applications, you will lack C2C. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling unplanned-for web services? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you brand super-strategically, you may have to scale strategically. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our ability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. Think wireless, open-source. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend efficiently, you may have to expedite extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "experiences". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, client-focused. If you reinvent intra-transparently, you may have to evolve magnetically. We will iterate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We invariably transform enterprise aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to actualize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to target compellingly. The power to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize virally. Think B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing emerging deliverables? We understand that it is better to implement globally than to enhance extensibly. A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to deploy. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, fractal implementation" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of distributed, collaborative structuring. We will matrix the standard industry term "one-to-one". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think macro-vertical. We will syndicate the commonly-used buzzword "B2C". We will upgrade the power of efficient, six-sigma CAE to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Think super-affiliate-based. The super-micro-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B angel investors. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral synergistic bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sticky? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Do you have a plan to become world-class? The capacity to engineer globally leads to the capability to maximize proactively. We will amplify our ability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our power to redefine. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!