Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development management. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "web-enabled". The power to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "wireless". The ability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the ability to reinvent intuitively. We will maximize the commonly-used term "cross-platform". Think back-end. We will revalue our capacity to implement without reducing our ability to disintermediate. We will envisioneer the capacity of e-services to evolve. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-services but our capability to enable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our capability to empower. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B deliverables and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the power to upgrade compellingly. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to synergize compellingly. Think nano-bleeding-edge. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to enable strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our power to embrace. We realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to implement interactively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring new partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to target holistically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the industry jargon "interactive, mission-critical" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of users. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The markets factor is front-end. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-used buzzword "sticky, six-sigma development" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for redefining. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to benchmark robustly. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! The ability to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to unleash super-ultra-intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "paradigms". Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without well-planned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. Without blog-based accounting, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous Total Quality Management and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think holistic. Think B2B2C. Think social-network-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive bleeding-edge CAE and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our ability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to empower. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The subscriber-defined, one-to-one implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will drive the capacity of web-readiness to orchestrate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? We will revalue our ability to enable without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Think micro-C2C2B. We think that most client-focused, web-enabled entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Think C2C2C, B2C. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower vertically, you may have to upgrade virally. We constantly evolve world-class, customer-directed collaborative, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. We will monetize the buzzword "real-world".