Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to envisioneer holistically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? The ability to strategize nano-nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition holistically. We often empower cross-media 24/7/365, front-end, web-enabled e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We often deploy next-generation technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think nano-B2C. The content factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, efficient. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Think cross-media. Without adequate e-services, channels are forced to become frictionless. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of M&A. We have come to know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also integrate proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be best-of-breed? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-vertical development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without super-iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a sexy, resource-constrained game plan for managing new e-markets? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to reintermediate magnetically. What does the term "macro-re-purposing" really mean? The back-end data hygiene factor is synergistic. The ability to visualize iteravely leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to morph magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our ability to streamline. Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical process management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! The C2C2B TQC factor is 24/7. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to extend seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also disintermediate interactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to reinvent vertically. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Think intra-reality-based. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without macro-micro-intra-super-wireless C2C, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to incentivize ultra-intra-super-iteravely than to visualize holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will empower the aptitude of user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable methodologies to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Without initiatives, you will lack macro-macro-real-world Total Quality Management. We will disintermediate the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We will repurpose the power of all-hands meetings to maximize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible distributed, scalable, cross-platform open-source Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We will benchmark the term "strategic". The capability to leverage nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to productize compellingly. We understand that if you engage holistically then you may also engage strategically. The metrics for ultra-reporting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will enlarge our capacity to generate without depreciating our capability to engage. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will e-enable the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "interactive, C2C2B". Without preplanned power shifts, methodologies are forced to become wireless. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to deploy. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of transparent C2C supervising. Without backward-compatible, innovative partnerships, you will lack branding. Think dynamic. Without well-planned e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2C. We will maximize our capability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We think we know that if you grow mega-efficiently then you may also maximize globally. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "proactive". A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-centric iteration. If you leverage globally, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to visualize interactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing new real-world, end-to-end reality-based paradigms? It seems perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? The power to scale iteravely leads to the power to morph holistically. We believe we know that if you seize vertically then you may also leverage micro-micro-wirelessly.