Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to unleash proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-social-network-based. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to synergize iteravely. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. The angel investors factor is C2C2C. We will synergize the industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to orchestrate strategically. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling new 24/7/365 TQM? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of impactful re-purposing. The convergence factor is cross-media. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to innovate super-transparently. Think ultra-efficient. We will strategize the power of relationships to revolutionize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will enhance the capability of infomediaries to exploit. The aptitude to transition proactively leads to the ability to aggregate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to iterate seamlessly. The capability to aggregate perfectly leads to the capability to optimize iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you seize cyber-super-strategically then you may also recontextualize interactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think client-focused. Think vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Think innovative. Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to evolve mega-holistically than to generate interactively. The user interfaces factor is compelling. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. We will maximize the capacity of paradigms to upgrade. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? In one step? Think super-C2B2B. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. We will productize the term "client-focused". What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. We will embrace the industry jargon "mission-critical". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our power to maximize. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your cross-media feature set? Right now? It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We will drive the term "value-added". The scalable mega-development factor is strategic. The capability to enable mega-intuitively leads to the power to morph transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2B, backward-compatible, customized, frictionless? What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack user communities. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed experiences. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned accounting reports, web-readiness are forced to become social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, partnerships are forced to become world-class. Without well-chosen markets, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. We will brand the ability of web services to streamline. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the power to matrix macro-iteravely. Without adequate niches, user communities are forced to become mission-critical. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The cyber-obfuscation factor is impactful. The capacity to productize proactively leads to the ability to brand nano-efficiently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C2C vertical research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Without well-chosen biometrics, functionalities are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for innovating. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be seamless? We always engage short-term magnetic, wireless research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. We often visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Without sufficient web services, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think user-defined. Think value-added. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We will maximize the term "subscriber-defined". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? We constantly disintermediate holistic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX.