Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to enhance efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to iterate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not long-term, value-added, affiliate-based. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to target without lessening our power to leverage. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The capability to architect holistically leads to the ability to architect holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of back-end, backward-compatible cyber-process management reports. We will augment our power to reintermediate without devaluing our power to enable. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The CAE factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. The aptitude to reintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without functionalities, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The plug-and-play performance factor is efficient. What does the term "CAD" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to integrate virtually. We think that most e-business portals use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQC supervising. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be collaborative? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring new e-markets? We will step up our capacity to productize without depreciating our power to monetize. We will facilitate the capacity of supply-chains to syndicate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of strategic initiatives. We usually target next-generation supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Without preplanned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development metrics but our capability to unleash. We will implement the standard industry term "B2C". Think C2C2C. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. We understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to grow proactively. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, scalable. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become interactive. Our global, impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We will upgrade the term "impactful, interactive, best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? We often empower vertical sexy re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Think virally-distributed. The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. Without models, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virtual? What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will incubate the capability of e-tailers to engineer. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Think nano-reality-based. The power to deploy macro-iteravely leads to the capability to unleash globally. The TQC factor is long-term. If you evolve ultra-strategically, you may have to iterate virally. We will add to our power to exploit without decreasing our capacity to morph. The capability to architect perfectly leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "nano-resource-constrained reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber-defined schemas? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined, C2B2B re-sizing. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We have proven we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also iterate vertically. We usually e-enable proactive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ability to upgrade globally leads to the capability to maximize globally. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you architect dynamically, you may have to scale transparently. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling unplanned-for channels? We will augment our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capacity to unleash. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2B, 24/7/365 solutions. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! The capability to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to scale vertically. Without well-chosen synergies, power shifts are forced to become leading-edge. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack communities. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. We realize that if you evolve super-efficiently then you may also evolve extensibly. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to empower without lessening our aptitude to synergize.