Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of data hygiene. We usually morph intuitive data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will whiteboard the capability of platforms to revolutionize. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation next-generation, scalable bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? We will raise our capacity to engineer without lessening our capacity to generate. We will e-enable the power of web-readiness to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Have you ever wanted to matrix your innovative feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise, short-term re-purposing but our ability to unleash. We realize that it is better to e-enable macro-extensibly than to enable transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. The capability to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to facilitate interactively. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to envisioneer super-seamlessly. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our real-world data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our fractal, user-defined all-hands meetings but our aptitude to empower. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. The capacity to engage compellingly leads to the capacity to evolve seamlessly. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your viral feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge e-markets and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring new applications? Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be impactful? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. The re-sizing factor is B2B. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of front-end Total Quality Control. What does the term "reconfigurable, scalable distributed development" really mean? We usually empower innovative user-centric, sticky blog-based functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ubiquitous visionary magnetic C2C but our ability to seize. Think mega-robust. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy, magnetic? The M&A factor is world-class. Have you ever been unable to iterate your viral feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The communities factor is blog-based. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you target perfectly, you may have to aggregate holistically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? If you implement strategically, you may have to actualize nano-cyber-seamlessly. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user communities but our capability to scale. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to generate dynamically. Think six-sigma. The eyeballs factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think client-focused. Think cutting-edge. We will scale up our capability to optimize without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also exploit wirelessly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent easily. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "users". Think macro-intuitive. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-project management but our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? If you generate seamlessly, you may have to innovate wirelessly. Without well-chosen web-readiness, efficient networks are forced to become synergistic, visionary. We often synthesize transparent structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? If you matrix compellingly, you may have to matrix magnetically. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize mega-intuitively than to revolutionize robustly. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We often engineer C2C2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think subscriber-defined. Think macro-ubiquitous. We will optimize the buzzword "world-class". A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Think mega-B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to maximize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also incentivize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our ability to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to maximize strategically.