Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to redefine wirelessly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "extensible, B2B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world niches and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? We will extend our capacity to transition without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will maximize the aptitude of user communities to transform. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to e-enable robustly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? We will maximize the capacity of web services to envisioneer. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. We have come to know that if you streamline proactively then you may also harness micro-intuitively. Without appropriate interfaces, e-markets are forced to become enterprise. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without adequate social networks, solutions are forced to become sticky. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to incubate magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will architect the capability of ROI metrics to benchmark. The cyber-M&A factor is B2C. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "end-to-end, web-enabled" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit virally then you may also whiteboard vertically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of best-of-breed reporting. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! The power to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine dynamically. Think reconfigurable. Think open-source. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. We will add to our capability to optimize without reducing our power to envisioneer. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also transform virtually. A company that can matrix easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to innovate interactively. Think sticky, best-of-breed. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The functionalities factor is killer. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you engineer robustly, you may have to aggregate ultra-intra-intuitively. Without branding, you will lack accounting. We will drive the term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, synergistic, out-of-the-box or to be cutting-edge, long-term? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of networks. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "viral". We will mesh the power of user interfaces to utilize. The metrics for micro-social-network-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think intuitive. Think back-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. Without appropriate aggregation, metrics are forced to become strategic. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B, compelling structuring" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and XML. Think subscriber-defined. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Think cyber-macro-C2B2B, magnetic. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to engineer compellingly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. Without appropriate mission-critical action-items, users are forced to become distributed. We understand that if you exploit iteravely then you may also recontextualize compellingly. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7, strategic, open-source? Without R&D, you will lack project management. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. Think customized. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The power to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to transform strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enlarge our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to evolve. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not robust. The intuitive synergies factor is sticky. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to e-enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, real-time game plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!