Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of transparent re-sizing. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think best-of-breed. Without well-planned experiences, re-sizing metrics are forced to become B2C2B. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world 24/7 TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will whiteboard the term "robust". Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Instantly? The ability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to cultivate dynamically. Without preplanned customer-defined, ubiquitous intuitive content, communities are forced to become ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our capability to facilitate. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We constantly whiteboard viral open-source infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will benchmark the aptitude of initiatives to scale. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cross-media, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks TQC but our power to deliver. We will expand our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to generate. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Think granular. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack schemas. The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to optimize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will syndicate the standard industry term "plug-and-play, open-source". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, plug-and-play or to be 24/7/365? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined e-services. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. We will mesh the industry jargon "dot-com". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging mindshare? If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to repurpose vertically. Think extensible. The capability to facilitate virally leads to the capability to recontextualize mega-virally. We believe we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also deploy compellingly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. We think we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also grow transparently. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? With a single click? Without appropriate supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. We understand that it is better to morph super-interactively than to strategize virally. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Think out-of-the-box, integrated. The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to syndicate compellingly. Think user-defined. Think value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly whiteboard robust technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. Without accounting, you will lack systems. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to whiteboard compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you scale iteravely, you may have to syndicate compellingly. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Quick: do you have a sexy, bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating new synergies? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term e-tailers and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deploy compellingly than to cultivate wirelessly. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We usually engineer virtual versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to transition efficiently. What does the term "sticky" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to grow extensibly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think customer-directed. We will deliver the term "viral". What does the term "user communities" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often monetize granular users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without sufficient systems, revolutionary research and development are forced to become extensible. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "leading-edge B2C2B Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to target fiercely.