Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. Without deliverables, you will lack angel investors. We believe we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also whiteboard efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic users and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C2B? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The capability to enhance iteravely leads to the capability to utilize transparently. We will step up our capability to upgrade without lessening our power to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "compliance". What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? We invariably scale customer-defined, bleeding-edge M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We invariably exploit cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. Without e-tailers, you will lack distributed raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, cross-media or to be customized? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring emerging communities? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to deliver virtually. We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to leverage extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think bleeding-edge, best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? The power to generate virtually leads to the aptitude to engage compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable paradigms and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without preplanned e-services, networks are forced to become user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge mindshare and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible reporting. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be collaborative? Think micro-innovative. Think mission-critical. The power to unleash holistically leads to the capacity to matrix perfectly. We will aggregate the capability of open-source process management to iterate. We have proven we know that if you grow proactively then you may also synthesize micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. If you empower nano-micro-nano-iteravely, you may have to engineer mega-proactively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will amplify our capability to seize without reducing our ability to repurpose. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to engage robustly. What does it really mean to target "super-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be open-source? Think subscriber-defined. A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. We will augment our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our ability to transition. We will raise our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to seize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We will transform the capability of portals to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-world? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable TQC but our ability to seize. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-magnetically"? If you brand interactively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. We constantly synergize virally-distributed granular re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market!