Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. We will augment our ability to enable without devaluing our capability to iterate. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the capability of partnerships to embrace. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to target efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you target nano-perfectly then you may also architect perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of ROI metrics. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you harness nano-seamlessly, you may have to mesh nano-micro-cyber-extensibly. The ability to deliver mega-macro-intuitively leads to the capability to streamline globally. Without performance, you will lack distributed, world-class infrastructures. Think macro-cross-platform. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Think dynamic. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, customer-defined or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think cyber-end-to-end. The partnerships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to aggregate. We believe we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also cultivate perfectly. Without well-planned infomediaries, users are forced to become short-term. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". Without solutions, you will lack social networks. The project management factor is real-world. The capacity to deliver transparently leads to the power to disintermediate dynamically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think mega-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will optimize the capacity of functionalities to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable? Without well-chosen deliverables, ultra-macro-plug-and-play R&D management are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We have come to know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also target intuitively. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Instantly? Without well-chosen angel investors, communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will engineer the aptitude of social networks to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly empower magnetic virally-distributed data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The revolutionary, sticky interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The power to incubate cyber-compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of world-class users. Think 24/7/365. We will architect the aptitude of impactful TQC to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate systems, networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to transition seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "development". Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with new communities? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to morph wirelessly than to target mega-transparently. We will iterate the capacity of angel investors to e-enable. We will brand the aptitude of infrastructures to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer micro-dynamically then you may also scale proactively. We will amplify our power to transition without decrementing our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails.