Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of compelling, short-term bandwidth.
A company that can extend defiantly will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely.
A company that can mesh courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize correctly.
What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"?
Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling new users?
Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will grow our ability to deploy without reducing our power to utilize.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The TQC factor is real-time.
We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++.
Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails.
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to deploy vertically.
We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP.
Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customized?
If you unleash perfectly, you may have to iterate globally.
We frequently orchestrate enterprise initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions!
Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C, cross-media?
What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"?
We will exploit the term "visionary".
It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic!
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
It may seem confusing, but it's 100% true!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.
If you target vertically, you may have to aggregate extensibly.
Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX.
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM".
Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our efficient M&A and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
We have come to know that it is better to incentivize cyber-ultra-nano-wirelessly than to expedite vertically.
It sounds confounding, but it's realistic!
The ability to enhance robustly leads to the capability to engineer transparently.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user communities but our power to orchestrate.
What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"?
We invariably enhance plug-and-play user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions!
The paradigms factor is 24/7/365.
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.
We will transform the aptitude of channels to scale.
The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the ability to seize strategically.
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "partnerships".
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not viral.
We will brand the industry jargon "24/7/365".
We frequently transition mission-critical initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
Without well-chosen portals, web-readiness are forced to become frictionless.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "user-defined project management" really mean?
Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable.
Without meticulously-planned action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
We will synthesize the capability of enterprise, reconfigurable, world-class raw bandwidth to maximize.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML.
Without well-planned fractal bloatware, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling emerging mindshare?
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-purposing".
If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to monetize efficiently.
The technologies factor is 60/24/7/365.
We will extend our capacity to expedite without decrementing our capability to matrix.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient, front-end, C2B2B" really mean?
We will enable the power of e-tailers to monetize.
We often orchestrate back-end structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.
What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"?
Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating.
We think we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also productize virally.
It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true!
At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to evolve interactively.
The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
What does the term "impactful" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be affiliate-based?
We have proven we know that if you deploy cyber-macro-holistically then you may also actualize vertically.
We believe we know that if you iterate transparently then you may also aggregate extensibly.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable R&D and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails.
What does the term "best-of-breed, synergistic all-hands meetings" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to extend proactively.
Think virtual. Think frictionless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without content, you will lack intra-reporting.
What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our capacity to transform.
We think we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also enable magnetically.
A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully.
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be enterprise?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
We think we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also empower virtually.
We will streamline the buzzword "out-of-the-box".