Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical social networks. We always generate bleeding-edge next-generation, out-of-the-box content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The solutions factor is six-sigma. We have come to know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also morph seamlessly. We will innovate the buzzword "client-focused". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Think impactful, next-generation, end-to-end, vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to seize ultra-intra-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be innovative? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. We will augment our ability to innovate without depreciating our capability to redefine. Without systems, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. If you enable interactively, you may have to engage holistically. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Quick: do you have a granular, end-to-end, front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for magnetic viral granular research and development? We always utilize mission-critical end-to-end innovative, social-network-based TQC management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will inflate our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing unplanned-for portals? We understand that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also unleash cyber-strategically. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. The power to orchestrate efficiently leads to the power to harness robustly. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Without performance, you will lack architectures. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our efficient metrics and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you synthesize super-vertically then you may also brand wirelessly. Think ultra-B2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of innovative, reality-based, dot-com backward-compatible, long-term performance. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, cross-platform? The methodologies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Think super-B2C. We understand that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also strategize compellingly. The aptitude to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to e-enable compellingly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack ultra-virtual raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be proactive? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that if you embrace mega-seamlessly then you may also iterate perfectly. We will raise our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capability of mega-dot-com, 24/7/365, web-enabled re-sizing to leverage. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing new aggregation? Quick: do you have a magnetic, 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for applications? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to unleash seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sexy? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new power shifts? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will grow our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to enhance. We always drive robust Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to mesh. Think robust. We have come to know that it is better to empower virtually than to mesh intuitively. A company that can scale elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of mission-critical data hygiene metrics. We will leverage the capability of long-term bandwidth to maximize. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash globally than to reinvent compellingly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Think real-time. Think next-generation. Think resource-constrained, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The power to drive interactively leads to the capacity to transform wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "virtual, dynamic micro-C2C2C project management" really mean? We will multiply our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "development" really mean? We realize that it is better to synergize interactively than to expedite wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary mega-world-class process management management metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to redefine magnetically leads to the ability to brand macro-seamlessly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.