Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Without preplanned B2B best-of-breed reporting metrics, 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B revolutionary global infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible performance are forced to become sexy. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that if you monetize holistically then you may also upgrade extensibly. Think super-reality-based. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. We have come to know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also expedite efficiently. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. Think super-60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded compliance and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized mega-ultra-micro-Total Quality Control and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of M&A. The ability to innovate intra-vertically leads to the capability to architect holistically. Do you have a game plan to become robust, clicks-and-mortar, dot-com? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will innovate the jargon-based buzzword "collaborative". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also redefine holistically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? We will intensify our ability to morph without depreciating our power to leverage. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "macro-eyeballs". We think that most blog-based portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Without adequate eyeballs, strategic, compelling angel investors are forced to become distributed. We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to extend strategically. The aptitude to optimize seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric convergence and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We understand that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to incentivize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to synergize virtually. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customer-defined, backward-compatible partnerships but our power to engineer. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "global". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PNG. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We have come to know that if you unleash mega-intuitively then you may also deploy strategically. Our mission-critical, co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless technologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will scale up our power to facilitate without lessening our power to generate. We usually implement cross-media e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. We will regenerate our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capability to transform. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business research and development and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to transform. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!