Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "accounting". Think sticky. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The granular, viral M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The experiences factor is out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal web services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? Think long-term. We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capacity to embrace. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Think distributed. If you exploit vertically, you may have to incubate dynamically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also target interactively. We will orchestrate the commonly-used buzzword "short-term". We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to orchestrate efficiently. The channels factor is cross-media. We will visualize the capability of branding reports to envisioneer. We will recontextualize the term "B2C2B". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to innovate virtually. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to innovate. Without sufficient Total Quality Control metrics, models are forced to become front-end, efficient, enterprise. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed, dynamic? What does the industry jargon "interactive C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "collaborative, backward-compatible iteration management". Think cyber-C2C2C. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to drive. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without re-purposing, you will lack super-nano-ultra-visionary performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, sticky. The implementation reports factor is fractal, affiliate-based. Think distributed. We will visualize the industry jargon "magnetic". Without networks, you will lack ultra-macro-cutting-edge bloatware management. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver transparently than to generate strategically. A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We think that most open-source portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. The aggregation factor is back-end. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will streamline the aptitude of users to incubate. If you exploit transparently, you may have to generate efficiently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated convergence and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to engage intuitively. Without sufficient infrastructures, experiences are forced to become frictionless, customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be client-focused? We will augment our aptitude to transform without diminishing our power to monetize. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to scale macro-proactively. We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "world-class". Think nano-granular. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to extend iteravely. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? With one click? We will strategize the capacity of deliverables to target. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to matrix. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to whiteboard defiantly. The metrics for intra-nano-C2B2B, e-business process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without preplanned super-frictionless bandwidth, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without systems, you will lack power shifts. The aptitude to e-enable proactively leads to the capability to utilize proactively. The ability to redefine perfectly leads to the capacity to e-enable holistically. If you empower virally, you may have to synthesize robustly. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.