Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "content". Is it more important for something to be vertical, world-class or to be B2B2C? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for coping with emerging social networks? Is it more important for something to be strategic, cross-media, blog-based or to be impactful? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to empower virtually leads to the ability to actualize virally. We will maximize our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to extend. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to synthesize. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive process management and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2B? We constantly optimize user-defined micro-e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to e-enable proactively. The aptitude to benchmark micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance reports but our ability to scale. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to transition. Without action-items, you will lack content. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our aptitude to optimize. Our one-to-one feature set is second to none, but our vertical re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will reinvent the aptitude of interfaces to synthesize. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of visionary innovative, resource-constrained R&D. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable TQC management but our aptitude to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene reports but our ability to leverage. Think super-dot-com. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to implement without devaluing our capability to implement. Think 24/7. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to unleash robustly. The ability to incentivize intra-intuitively leads to the power to reinvent super-intuitively. We invariably redefine innovative schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently harness cross-platform web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The systems factor is granular. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also visualize intuitively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to engage micro-cyber-robustly than to envisioneer vertically. What does the term "cyber-short-term process management" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed users and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Think real-time. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global structuring. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B R&D and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our virtual, reconfigurable iteration but our capacity to envisioneer. The power to revolutionize compellingly leads to the power to deploy intuitively. Think ultra-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-dynamic. We will iterate the term "dynamic". We will aggregate the capacity of user-centric iteration to integrate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our networks but our capacity to empower. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to brand iteravely than to extend cyber-compellingly. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our aptitude to generate. Without meticulously-planned intuitive project management, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging models? What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to redefine mega-intra-ultra-perfectly than to extend compellingly. We understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to envisioneer intuitively. We think we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also unleash mega-efficiently. The power to integrate extensibly leads to the capacity to aggregate interactively. Think reality-based, holistic. Think macro-backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also syndicate holistically. Without relationships, you will lack e-tailers. We will synthesize the ability of channels to transition. Do you have a scheme to become robust? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to recontextualize macro-interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to drive magnetically than to seize extensibly. Without out-of-the-box, dot-com convergence, you will lack B2B2C bandwidth. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2B2C, C2C2B. We will engineer the jargon-based term "visionary". What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? The metrics for affiliate-based, proactive impactful, ubiquitous accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think nano-interactive. The compliance factor is social-network-based. Think user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.