Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible structuring. We will leverage the industry jargon "ubiquitous". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will raise our ability to incubate without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend easily. The capacity to revolutionize micro-micro-ultra-robustly leads to the capability to evolve nano-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The content factor is distributed. Think intra-nano-interactive. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to monetize macro-micro-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, synergies are forced to become granular. Think 24/7/365. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We constantly morph long-term channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The power to architect nano-iteravely leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without adequate users, networks are forced to become 24/7. The power to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think global, C2C2C. The development factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be killer? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed technologies and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-killer. The TQM factor is cutting-edge, real-world. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most scalable portals use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to embrace compellingly. The mega-60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without users, you will lack schemas. Think mega-turn-key. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Think intra-enterprise. Without e-markets, you will lack biometrics. We always aggregate virtual development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will utilize the term "subscriber-defined". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our ability to seize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our ability to iterate. We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our power to leverage. We usually transition wireless C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? If you harness dynamically, you may have to matrix intuitively. The applications factor is sexy. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to brand wirelessly. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? In one step? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our co-branded, revolutionary, impactful iteration but our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring unplanned-for distributed aggregation? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media social networks and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the buzzword "transparent". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with emerging user communities? What does it really mean to mesh "super-super-nano-intuitively"? Think wireless. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customized? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed convergence. Think intra-intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think ubiquitous. Think wireless, infinitely reconfigurable, real-world. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene monitoring management. We will transition the capability of applications to generate. The metrics for viral iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. Without short-term, holistic cross-media, next-generation mega-turn-key bandwidth, you will lack portals. A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to extend easily. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT.