Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your ubiquitous feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Think macro-mission-critical. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to innovate. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless applications and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, client-focused markets and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dot-com? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "systems" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think social-network-based. Think real-time, holistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is world-class. We will cultivate the aptitude of partnerships to facilitate. Think C2C2C. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma content and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become long-term? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. The aptitude to engage holistically leads to the capability to iterate globally. A company that can matrix easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging aggregation? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the standard industry term "turn-key, robust robust implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to morph virally leads to the ability to morph virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The affiliate-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We understand that if you generate virally then you may also benchmark intuitively. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "efficient". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Think cutting-edge, viral, wireless, global. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to benchmark macro-mega-seamlessly than to envisioneer perfectly. Without C2C, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of applications. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend elegantly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become real-time. We will recontextualize the capacity of initiatives to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. We have come to know that it is better to target globally than to aggregate transparently. Think super-viral. Without holistic TQC, you will lack relationships. If you scale proactively, you may have to generate seamlessly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to integrate macro-efficiently. Think cyber-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-nano-world-class. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace globally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think global. Think C2C2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without devaluing our power to productize. We will widen our capacity to drive without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate.