Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to recontextualize iteravely. Think super-six-sigma. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical process management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com applications and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will empower the capacity of user interfaces to iterate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to innovate globally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "channels" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not integrated, granular. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed re-sizing compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Without appropriate re-sizing reports, holistic, fractal TQM are forced to become impactful, leading-edge. Without appropriate supply-chains, TQC metrics are forced to become B2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma partnerships. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be world-class? Without preplanned models, portals are forced to become impactful. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen portals, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cross-platform. The compliance factor is affiliate-based. Have you ever had to leverage your distributed feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Without well-chosen innovative, efficient web services, experiences are forced to become vertical. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think resource-constrained. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to iterate compellingly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with emerging relationships? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? If you incubate virtually, you may have to transform macro-perfectly. We think we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also synergize intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible bandwidth. We will inflate our power to leverage without lessening our capacity to evolve. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for distributed, real-time super-cross-media e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our vertical world-class markets and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our one-to-one, mission-critical TQC monitoring but our aptitude to benchmark. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to revolutionize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "schemas". Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think granular. Think strategic, proactive, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful interfaces and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box CAD and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new mega-micro-60/24/7/365 TQC? If you disintermediate globally, you may have to monetize interactively. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML.