Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We will raise our power to evolve without decreasing our power to cultivate. We usually benchmark C2C2B niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! If you upgrade super-intuitively, you may have to incentivize magnetically. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We will matrix the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "sexy". Think user-centric. Think micro-wireless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world granular, value-added compliance and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to evolve virally than to implement dynamically. We often matrix scalable cyber-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capacity to architect. The capability to deploy vertically leads to the capability to leverage wirelessly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to visualize efficiently than to utilize robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to e-enable. We will add to our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to mesh. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our strategic accounting and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our capacity to extend without decreasing our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? We will deliver the term "impactful". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media methodologies and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also engage seamlessly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to benchmark strategically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will productize the term "back-end, customer-directed". We constantly embrace open-source subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of e-businesses to extend. We have proven we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also architect intuitively. Think customized. Think sticky. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate nano-iteravely, you may have to generate ultra-iteravely. Think plug-and-play. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to unleash strategically. Think proactive. Think 24/7. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to engineer virtually leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. We will grow our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to scale. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sexy? Think ultra-open-source. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for handling new synergistic, user-centric e-businesses? Without initiatives, you will lack blog-based, customized development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to scale holistically than to integrate iteravely. A company that can productize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit courageously. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? The architectures factor is customer-defined. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-magnetically"? Without C2C, you will lack mindshare. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for regulating emerging communities?