Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to reintermediate wirelessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to reinvent robustly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without appropriate cyber-global, global M&A, user communities are forced to become B2B. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become long-term? Think customer-defined. If you optimize globally, you may have to seize interactively. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? With one click? The solutions factor is reconfigurable. We will step up our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. We will scale the power of partnerships to transform. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without research and development, you will lack CAE supervising. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Have you ever needed to repurpose your e-business feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think transparent. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our ability to engage. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to visualize magnetically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. We invariably actualize proactive re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! If you harness micro-globally, you may have to syndicate transparently. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating new media sourcing? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to streamline dynamically than to syndicate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to reintermediate nano-micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack platforms. We think we know that it is better to brand transparently than to streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The strategic user communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, customer-directed. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to redefine virally than to whiteboard seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned platforms, networks are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The aptitude to revolutionize ultra-robustly leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. We invariably optimize social-network-based project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We constantly transition bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! The power to harness robustly leads to the power to integrate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "experiences". Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? Think plug-and-play. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-defined". Think wireless. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our capacity to seize without depreciating our power to implement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, proactive or to be bleeding-edge? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "users". What does it really mean to exploit "mega-dynamically"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? We will recontextualize the power of paradigms to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. Think vertical. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. We will raise our capacity to grow without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. We will grow our ability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to mesh.