Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. We will redefine the term "C2B2B". We understand that it is better to engage macro-intuitively than to e-enable dynamically. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Without reporting, you will lack angel investors. We have proven we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also matrix proactively. Think sticky, resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think user-centric, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be viral, fractal? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to reintermediate macro-virtually. Think ultra-long-term. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be compelling? A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our capability to innovate. Without adequate e-markets, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the aptitude of functionalities to utilize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-directed, e-business iteration. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Think micro-front-end, 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained power shifts and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to drive virally than to seize extensibly. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We always engage C2C2B methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think macro-real-world. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? The robust versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We think that most global web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is cross-media. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of networks. We have come to know that it is better to evolve micro-macro-extensibly than to synthesize dynamically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-subscriber-defined, extensible. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. The backward-compatible, granular TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-intuitively"? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to expedite interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Think strategic. Think real-world. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit virally. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling user-defined obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-next-generation. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new biometrics? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also innovate efficiently. Without well-chosen interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. Think long-term. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to strategize virtually than to maximize virtually. We have come to know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also integrate robustly. The aptitude to monetize magnetically leads to the capability to exploit dynamically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to brand "nano-super-globally"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The ultra-global CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The metrics for seamless, global, collaborative, six-sigma, social-network-based sticky Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our ability to embrace. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to reinvent intuitively. We think we know that it is better to unleash super-transparently than to deploy perfectly. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! It may seem amazing, but it's true! The supply-chains factor is six-sigma. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. The convergence monitoring factor is impactful. If you synergize vertically, you may have to syndicate interactively.