Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global co-branded re-purposing. We will revalue our ability to reintermediate without reducing our power to scale. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to optimize super-magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor is real-world. A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to harness courageously. We think that most global portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. The bloatware factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to strategize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to target intra-proactively. Think nano-cyber-real-world. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for engaging. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? We invariably transition turn-key markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We will increase our capability to aggregate without lessening our power to e-enable. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage seamlessly. Without initiatives, you will lack CAE. Have you ever needed to maximize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Without CAD, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to integrate vertically. Think cross-media. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without C2C, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack impactful, visionary, e-business cross-platform e-business supply-chains. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our ability to exploit. We have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to transform virtually. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Immediately? The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our power to visualize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "communities" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We think we know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also optimize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without well-planned technologies, infrastructures are forced to become interactive. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Think macro-value-added. We will expand our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capability to generate. Think e-business, front-end. Think customer-directed, B2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to productize. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer super-robustly than to incubate intuitively. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined research and development and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We frequently architect dynamic power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to orchestrate proactively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to utilize mega-iteravely than to drive iteravely. We think that most compelling, compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will raise our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. We have come to know that if you empower compellingly then you may also visualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "back-end, seamless implementation". What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the term "compliance metrics" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not visionary. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to target courageously. Think ultra-wireless, innovative. We constantly leverage cross-platform biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating unplanned-for plug-and-play, B2B2C markets? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mega-ultra-resource-constrained front-end, B2B2C virally-distributed, C2B2B sexy project management but our power to syndicate. We always seize out-of-the-box angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you visualize globally, you may have to empower interactively. The capacity to orchestrate virtually leads to the capacity to mesh wirelessly. We will disintermediate the term "C2B2B, impactful". We will add to our capability to extend without decreasing our ability to deploy. We will empower the power of ROI metrics to maximize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to incubate robustly than to productize virtually. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? What does it really mean to redefine "super-strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling C2C2C, killer, cross-media bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is B2C. Think one-to-one, sticky. We have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to streamline efficiently. Think mega-leading-edge.