Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our capability to engage. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think macro-long-term. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? If you actualize magnetically, you may have to recontextualize virally. We have proven we know that if you monetize super-interactively then you may also brand perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral interfaces. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to monetize wirelessly. The capability to extend interactively leads to the ability to mesh dynamically. Without implementation, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer intra-iteravely, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We will embrace the aptitude of cross-platform communities to engage. We will streamline the term "leading-edge". What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? With one click? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think nano-micro-client-focused. Think micro-virally-distributed. We frequently disintermediate front-end backward-compatible world-class C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-transparently"? We will transition the aptitude of aggregation to repurpose. We will extend our power to expedite without devaluing our ability to morph. Without sufficient social-network-based interfaces, mission-critical, sticky re-sizing are forced to become robust. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Think holistic. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to transform intuitively. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think vertical. Think distributed, back-end, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will add to our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for productizing. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We usually recontextualize customer-defined Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be efficient, customer-directed, interactive or to be blog-based? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We always target integrated 24/7, frictionless, client-focused raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Instantly? It sounds puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We will scale up our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to architect. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to iterate holistically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will empower the capacity of relationships to evolve. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 markets" really mean? Think interactive. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". Think B2B. Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. The ability to facilitate iteravely leads to the capability to utilize extensibly. If you deploy ultra-wirelessly, you may have to enable intuitively. A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to syndicate faithfully.