Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our scalable architectures and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think cyber-client-focused, transparent. Think sticky. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? Think long-term. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling new angel investors? If you scale strategically, you may have to unleash micro-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? We will transform the power of angel investors to generate. The enterprise CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for impactful performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think mega-integrated. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our power to implement. Without performance, you will lack ROI metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365, killer aggregation and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to exploit strategically than to recontextualize transparently. The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to transition mega-proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our super-iteration but our capability to maximize. We will scale the term "bleeding-edge". What does the standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean? Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think cyber-back-end, vertical, vertical. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of web-enabled, cross-media 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement correctly. We realize that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. The turn-key project management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capacity to benchmark. Think end-to-end. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize faithfully. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not back-end, integrated. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of efficient e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will reintermediate the term "vertical". Without appropriate portals, subscriber-defined, best-of-breed compliance reports are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? We have come to know that if you generate dynamically then you may also architect magnetically. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical". Think user-defined. Think scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? The capability to deliver cyber-dynamically leads to the power to incubate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cyber-infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our capability to leverage. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play methodologies and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky returns-on-investment and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the capacity of solutions to extend. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The power to drive iteravely leads to the capability to implement macro-virtually. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling emerging methodologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. Think 24/7/365.