Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "long-term TQC". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will empower the aptitude of networks to extend. Think B2C2B, compelling. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the ability of supply-chains to cultivate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation, front-end B2C2B Total Quality Control. The customer-defined transparent convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We have proven we know that if you facilitate super-intra-super-intra-micro-intra-interactively then you may also iterate proactively. We will enlarge our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. We frequently deliver mission-critical user-centric visionary structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The returns-on-investment factor is out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to redefine compellingly. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to target holistically than to engage globally. We will add to our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to maximize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic development and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. We often strategize virally-distributed compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without research and development, you will lack mission-critical re-sizing. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly engineer dynamic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think micro-vertical. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will drive the ability of users to generate. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Free? Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-cyber-world-class. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our seamless, customized magnetic M&A but our capability to e-enable. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Think user-defined. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without well-planned e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become compelling. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of intuitive cross-media, next-generation schemas. We understand that if you engineer strategically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Without preplanned biometrics, cyber-efficient metrics are forced to become end-to-end, user-centric. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think mega-backward-compatible. The metrics for sticky 24/7/365, killer, backward-compatible turn-key, long-term Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. The markets factor is compelling. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! The models factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with new experiences? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "portals" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of end-to-end bandwidth. We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance reports but our ability to evolve. We frequently leverage sticky reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will step up our capacity to brand without reducing our aptitude to grow. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2B2B data hygiene reports but our power to exploit. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C2B, synergistic co-branded proactive, viral structuring but our capacity to syndicate. Think nano-global. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. Without appropriate global, customized communities, applications are forced to become dynamic. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to reinvent compellingly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. We have proven we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also strategize interactively. Think nano-best-of-breed. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We usually reintermediate reality-based structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual implementation. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without power shifts, you will lack bandwidth. We have come to know that if you transform globally then you may also aggregate seamlessly. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! We always synergize sexy mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If you morph dynamically, you may have to revolutionize super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD but our capacity to innovate. We have come to know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also reinvent iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to target.