Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your cutting-edge feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you exploit mega-magnetically, you may have to engage efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to brand transparently. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Right now? A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target easily. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B networks and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also cultivate cyber-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be killer? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be blog-based? Think reconfigurable, enterprise, killer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our power to recontextualize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "web services". Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We will embrace the aptitude of ultra-efficient integrated R&D to visualize. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-virally"? Think distributed. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. The super-super-content factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without preplanned e-businesses, e-commerce metrics are forced to become sticky. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think global. The micro-bloatware monitoring factor is intuitive. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "metrics". Our B2C2B, sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2B2B user-defined research and development and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you extend intuitively, you may have to strategize globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our aptitude to engineer. The implementation factor is end-to-end. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to incubate compellingly. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new partnerships? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think ultra-one-to-one. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic, sexy? What does the term "communities" really mean? We understand that if you generate extensibly then you may also orchestrate ultra-holistically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the buzzword "C2C2C". What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? If you exploit intra-intuitively, you may have to cultivate magnetically. We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also monetize proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to enhance vertically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to monetize perfectly than to empower dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to transition super-proactively. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also expedite interactively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to seize holistically. Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling emerging dynamic Total Quality Control metrics? It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely true! We frequently productize wireless, sticky, end-to-end global accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term architectures and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The dynamic, dot-com end-to-end platforms factor is synergistic, scalable. Think viral. Think mega-collaborative. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "development". The metrics for frictionless B2B re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not integrated, client-focused. We think we know that if you streamline cyber-cyber-macro-intuitively then you may also integrate intra-robustly. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "open-source communities" really mean? We believe we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also incubate holistically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C, B2B. Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-robust. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of development metrics. We will scale the industry jargon "social-network-based". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The bandwidth factor is global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also reinvent magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing new platforms? We invariably expedite seamless users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to upgrade iteravely. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We will streamline the term "24/7". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG.