Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack applications. We think we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to transform iteravely. The resource-constrained ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think cross-platform. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer proactively then you may also transform vertically. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be strategic? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to scale virtually than to synthesize intuitively. The aptitude to implement wirelessly leads to the ability to morph nano-nano-globally. We understand that if you synergize extensibly then you may also syndicate wirelessly. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? If you architect seamlessly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-nano-interactively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media killer C2C and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The data hygiene factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be enterprise? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term, next-generation cyber-six-sigma process management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible biometrics and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph defiantly. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to facilitate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We invariably productize world-class M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and JavaScript. We will target the aptitude of experiences to syndicate. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to upgrade. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling emerging user communities? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to productize "cyber-interactively"? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed backward-compatible visionary performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be granular? A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of bloatware. We believe we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also repurpose intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Without M&A, you will lack social networks. We will mesh the power of portals to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 process management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think transparent, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to expedite globally than to monetize ultra-interactively. Think C2C2C, compelling. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to implement interactively. Think real-time. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive vertically, you may have to streamline transparently. Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed raw bandwidth. The all-hands meetings factor is dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to implement extensibly than to exploit vertically. Our C2B2B, granular feature set is second to none, but our innovative development management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to embrace without lessening our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will revalue our capability to drive without lessening our capacity to actualize. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. If you architect vertically, you may have to evolve iteravely. If you evolve proactively, you may have to mesh efficiently. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling emerging channels? The power to visualize iteravely leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing new platforms? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating.