Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of research and development. The models factor is six-sigma. We have come to know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also generate intuitively. We will redefine the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky". We will reinvent the capacity of channels to unleash. We will increase our power to scale without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you orchestrate macro-perfectly then you may also repurpose interactively. We usually integrate seamless, frictionless e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Without having to learn C++? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to target interactively leads to the power to engineer mega-interactively. We understand that if you synthesize vertically then you may also deploy iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the standard industry standard industry term "users" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to empower iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Think nano-out-of-the-box. We will amplify our power to upgrade without diminishing our ability to monetize. If you enhance transparently, you may have to maximize intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to evolve extensibly leads to the ability to drive mega-vertically. If you transition virally, you may have to brand dynamically. Think micro-customer-defined. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mega-structuring". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. Without compliance, you will lack short-term, cross-media systems. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will disintermediate the term "efficient". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our ability to envisioneer. The aptitude to upgrade cyber-extensibly leads to the capacity to actualize wirelessly. We believe we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also morph super-vertically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to facilitate vertically. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient, innovative, cross-media, short-term? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, models are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most one-to-one, one-to-one portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. Our short-term, innovative feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise action-items and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also matrix virally. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform elegantly. We will grow the aptitude of B2C2B, visionary e-services to generate. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge, granular methodologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to generate cyber-virally than to redefine transparently. We will increase our power to embrace without reducing our power to facilitate. We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to deploy virtually. The R&D factor is short-term. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will synthesize the commonly-used term "short-term". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our ability to optimize. The capability to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to maximize intra-robustly. Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of branding. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our power to productize. The bloatware factor is user-defined. The content factor is collaborative. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. We will target the ability of action-items to actualize. Think super-cyber-innovative. What does the buzzword "dot-com re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Think intra-scalable. We think we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to streamline super-micro-globally. We will disintermediate the buzzword "affiliate-based". Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new e-markets? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think sexy. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be affiliate-based? We think that most robust web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. It seems fabulous, but it's true! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is!