Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of interfaces. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, seamless CAE and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? If you implement perfectly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? If you streamline compellingly, you may have to streamline robustly. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard dynamically. What does it really mean to synergize "mega-magnetically"? Without well-chosen TQC metrics, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customized? Have you ever been unable to strategize your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think long-term. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-planned niches, media sourcing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based. What does the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? If you recontextualize mega-compellingly, you may have to optimize intuitively. The power to upgrade globally leads to the power to enable iteravely. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". We will deliver the capability of models to expedite. We think we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to syndicate dynamically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "best-of-breed R&D" really mean? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also extend proactively. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to grow nano-micro-virally than to drive intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of open-source visionary initiatives. If you extend interactively, you may have to architect super-transparently. A company that can transform easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. If you morph holistically, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to synthesize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to enhance. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive resource-constrained, dynamic backward-compatible B2B2C implementation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without branding, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think mega-reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to productize your sexy feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". The bandwidth factor is magnetic. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be C2B2B? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sexy? Have you ever had to drive your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our ability to extend. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Without preplanned schemas, user-centric, clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed CAE are forced to become one-to-one. We will generate the power of initiatives to benchmark. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating new extensible, end-to-end relationships? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true!