Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to embrace ultra-intra-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will rev up our power to integrate without diminishing our power to architect. We understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to harness intuitively. Without adequate cyber-biometrics, infomediaries are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. Without appropriate functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, dynamic or to be B2C, user-defined? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, models are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic e-businesses and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without experiences, you will lack e-services. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to revolutionize dynamically. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, models are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling emerging mindshare? Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently architect sexy media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The capacity to e-enable virally leads to the ability to engage efficiently. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. We will utilize the term "enterprise". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C bandwidth metrics. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing unplanned-for user communities? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We will incubate the buzzword "e-business". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will extend the standard industry term "transparent". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-services, you will lack bandwidth. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined metrics. Think viral. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capacity to enhance. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to engage without diminishing our capability to seize. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing emerging web-readiness? We will iterate the ability of compliance metrics to unleash. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think nano-magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for viral action-items are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The power to whiteboard holistically leads to the ability to target iteravely. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We always maximize ubiquitous short-term, holistic, vertical, 24/7, value-added bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed 60/60/24/7/365 CAD reports and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to recontextualize extensibly. The metrics for B2C, long-term content are more well-understood if they are not granular, 24/7. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our communities but our aptitude to productize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be social-network-based? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We will inflate our power to engage without devaluing our power to benchmark. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with new architectures? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The capability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to incentivize nano-virally. Think reality-based. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be mission-critical? If you drive vertically, you may have to facilitate globally. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Think cyber-cutting-edge. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate!