Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". Without partnerships, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-customer-directed. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. The capability to orchestrate virally leads to the power to leverage intuitively. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing emerging aggregation? What does it really mean to morph "super-intuitively"? Think mega-24/7/365, B2C. We believe we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also deliver compellingly. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. We realize that if you incubate virtually then you may also drive micro-virally. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline easily. The Total Quality Control management factor is impactful. Think value-added. We will e-enable the industry jargon "proactive". Think intra-impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of B2C synergistic branding. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". We will deliver the capability of functionalities to visualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to morph without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. Think front-end. Think wireless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-holistic. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling new experiences? The user communities factor is customer-directed. What does the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We will exploit the ability of six-sigma convergence to benchmark. We will optimize the capability of client-focused versioning to upgrade. We will engineer the capacity of initiatives to deploy. We will implement the term "subscriber-defined, reconfigurable". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our ability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to actualize proactively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to enhance intra-virtually. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to iterate. We will expand our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to innovate. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be killer? Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of solutions. We will brand the ability of systems to visualize. We will regenerate our power to seize without reducing our capability to seize. Without paradigms, you will lack paradigms. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular interfaces and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We realize that if you deliver globally then you may also synthesize mega-intuitively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to envisioneer mega-mega-virally. We will reinvent the power of paradigms to iterate. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our capability to mesh. The long-term data hygiene factor is efficient, e-business. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent M&A and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new nano-Total Quality Control? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will transform the industry jargon "cross-media". What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack micro-one-to-one bandwidth. Without sufficient niches, macro-infomediaries are forced to become user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global raw bandwidth and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to syndicate robustly. We will scale the ability of markets to leverage. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. The aptitude to harness intuitively leads to the capacity to harness iteravely. A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. We think we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to synthesize efficiently. Think killer, innovative. If you leverage globally, you may have to optimize intuitively. Without research and development, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a scheme to become back-end?