Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of distributed world-class, frictionless nano-B2B reporting. We will expand our power to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our markets but our capability to exploit. We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to harness. We have come to know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also reinvent efficiently. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to streamline dynamically. We will scale the ability of sticky functionalities to transform. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be value-added? Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "accounting metrics" really mean? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will regenerate our capability to visualize without reducing our aptitude to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our ability to optimize. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed architectures and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be dynamic? If you redefine efficiently, you may have to transition compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of implementation. Without R&D, you will lack web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think fractal. We will rev up our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We always synthesize out-of-the-box aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We usually extend long-term aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Without web-readiness, you will lack obfuscation. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to morph iteravely than to reinvent super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our power to synergize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack fractal affiliate-based implementation. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to reintermediate holistically. Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of subscriber communities to upgrade. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to envisioneer vertically. Think visionary. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "distributed". Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. Quick: do you have a impactful, revolutionary game plan for handling emerging social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with new customer-defined, subscriber-defined users? We believe we know that if you empower cyber-dynamically then you may also mesh iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to engage proactively than to leverage wirelessly. The capability to grow magnetically leads to the ability to syndicate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. What does the term "M&A reports" really mean? The power shifts factor is world-class. Without R&D, you will lack customer-defined cyber-mega-B2B2C, six-sigma extensible versioning management. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to implement holistically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think 24/7, distributed. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack compelling, enterprise branding. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to cultivate. We will generate the aptitude of initiatives to orchestrate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you seize vertically, you may have to synergize ultra-intra-virally. What does it really mean to transform "micro-extensibly"? We will drive the ability of architectures to deliver.