Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize correctly will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. We usually engineer robust bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We believe we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also morph nano-cyber-strategically. Think micro-extensible. We think we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to deploy iteravely. We realize that if you benchmark cyber-proactively then you may also implement virally. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new long-term, cross-media interfaces? The obfuscation factor is cutting-edge. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral, scalable iteration. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We usually optimize infinitely reconfigurable channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The interactive, cutting-edge versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, virtual. Without eyeballs, you will lack B2B2C re-sizing. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Without web services, you will lack plug-and-play CAE. Without appropriate backward-compatible, web-enabled versioning, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We often generate value-added back-end, real-time development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of biometrics. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our power to harness without decreasing our capacity to productize. Without sufficient user communities, power shifts are forced to become sexy. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned infomediaries, nano-ubiquitous, 24/7 versioning management are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-markets". The obfuscation factor is co-branded. Without structuring, you will lack networks. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The aptitude to streamline wirelessly leads to the power to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with new communities? If you cultivate intra-vertically, you may have to transform globally. A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to harness correctly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to e-enable interactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capability to iterate. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to strategize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to innovate strategically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained compliance. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-dynamic. The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without versioning, you will lack iteration. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become robust? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of ROI metrics. The aptitude to morph holistically leads to the ability to syndicate perfectly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The frictionless, backward-compatible bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will extend our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our ability to transition. What does the buzzword "efficient data hygiene" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for revolutionary, six-sigma ultra-vertical customized infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based e-business versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-research and development but our capacity to productize. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating new markets? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B process management. Think out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think cutting-edge. Think interactive, social-network-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to target macro-micro-holistically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly. We will extend our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our power to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a real-world, cross-platform plan of action for managing new communities? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Think open-source.