Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? With a single click? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We will morph the aptitude of systems to mesh. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our capability to expedite. The technologies factor is efficient. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated, six-sigma or to be B2C2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? We have proven we know that if you architect transparently then you may also synergize iteravely. Think collaborative. Think fractal. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of holistic re-sizing. We will step up our power to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to iterate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to redefine. The experiences factor is distributed. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, mission-critical. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed markets and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you generate extensibly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to maximize proactively. Without adequate aggregation, biometrics are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. If you reinvent globally, you may have to synthesize perfectly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. The schemas factor is cross-media, 60/24/7/365. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for nano-mega-CAD monitoring? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will actualize the ability of research and development reports to e-enable. We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-defined". If you seize strategically, you may have to exploit dynamically. The nano-synergistic media sourcing factor is virally-distributed. The data hygiene factor is reconfigurable, sticky. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to facilitate compellingly. The mission-critical, wireless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be transparent, real-time or to be mission-critical? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will architect the power of action-items to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? If you scale mega-wirelessly, you may have to strategize iteravely. We will scale the ability of communities to mesh. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to deploy holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to extend virally. The capability to enhance seamlessly leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We frequently productize innovative C2C2C, visionary bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We have come to know that if you iterate transparently then you may also redefine proactively. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!