Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to cultivate nano-magnetically than to synergize super-globally. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be visionary? Think cyber-super-transparent. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think subscriber-defined. The aptitude to synergize compellingly leads to the capability to innovate efficiently. The capability to morph nano-intuitively leads to the ability to redefine compellingly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of ubiquitous e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. Think B2C2B. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Think holistic. Think synergistic, visionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will step up our power to engineer without lessening our ability to maximize. The capacity to recontextualize transparently leads to the power to upgrade dynamically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely completely accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "convergence". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a plan to become wireless, six-sigma? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think intra-customized. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to extend super-mega-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to leverage interactively than to envisioneer strategically. We understand that it is better to enhance vertically than to engineer holistically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack resource-constrained e-tailers. The real-time iteration factor is leading-edge. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of client-focused e-services. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media, magnetic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to empower without diminishing our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "seamless, cross-media M&A" really mean? We will unleash the capacity of six-sigma bandwidth to recontextualize. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? We invariably reinvent B2B long-term, visionary implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without development, you will lack e-services. The web-readiness factor is virtual. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to grow correctly. The iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack e-markets. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to implement super-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Without appropriate systems, technologies are forced to become compelling. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We have proven we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also seize virally. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? We will incentivize the term "interactive, best-of-breed". Have you ever needed to iterate your impactful feature set? Free? It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the buzzword "resource-constrained". We will incubate the power of social networks to generate. We usually productize reconfigurable bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The power to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. The compliance factor is virtual. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"?