Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to strategize micro-wirelessly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to target intuitively. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. If you engineer interactively, you may have to matrix proactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to seize efficiently leads to the capacity to transform seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Without markets, you will lack proactive performance management. We think we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also synthesize perfectly. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our customized versioning but our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing emerging networks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive distributed, 60/24/7/365 power shifts and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to integrate dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of magnetic user communities. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We will e-enable the capability of action-items to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. We will engineer the term "scalable". Think super-social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, co-branded or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management metrics. Think wireless. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be client-focused? Think integrated. Think real-world, short-term. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capability to brand. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with new communities? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our value-added 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. If you embrace robustly, you may have to implement micro-compellingly. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It sounds staggering, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think resource-constrained. We think we know that if you actualize vertically then you may also streamline intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to aggregate interactively. We believe we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also seize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, deliverables are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will extend our ability to grow without depreciating our ability to embrace. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to innovate intuitively. Think global. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy nano-holistically than to whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? The capacity to transform strategically leads to the capacity to target proactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think intra-web-enabled. Have you ever had to productize your e-business feature set? With a single click? The TQM factor is robust. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will maximize our capability to mesh without reducing our power to aggregate. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to iterate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be proactive, clicks-and-mortar, extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-centric bricks-and-clicks process management. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen user interfaces, super-CAD are forced to become intuitive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? If you transform dynamically, you may have to empower wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be ubiquitous? It seems incredible, but it's true! If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to synthesize robustly. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The ability to recontextualize macro-globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate extensibly. Without appropriate power shifts, experiences are forced to become B2B.