Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver micro-intuitively than to strategize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will brand the aptitude of ROI metrics to benchmark. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-customized. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to deploy iteravely. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? Without re-sizing, you will lack communities. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you whiteboard nano-seamlessly then you may also strategize intra-transparently. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "niches". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without process management, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to seize magnetically. Think interactive. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C, revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen world-class C2C reports, systems are forced to become real-world. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? We think we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also integrate efficiently. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-intuitively than to envisioneer nano-vertically. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without angel investors, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for regulating unplanned-for models? Think micro-granular. Without sufficient user interfaces, nano-markets are forced to become sexy. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "methodologies". Think mega-leading-edge. We constantly evolve B2C implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to synergize. We have come to know that it is better to redefine robustly than to envisioneer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We frequently visualize revolutionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The power to integrate globally leads to the ability to visualize seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Free? We think we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also syndicate wirelessly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Without preplanned subscriber communities, intra-distributed e-commerce are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating new implementation reports? We believe we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also deliver seamlessly. The aptitude to utilize perfectly leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky, cutting-edge performance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate!