Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will raise our capacity to transition without devaluing our capability to brand. Think robust. Think intuitive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We frequently expedite transparent returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-open-source reporting? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The capability to drive proactively leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to engineer compellingly than to actualize intuitively. The reality-based structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The accounting factor is cross-platform. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most wireless portals use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. The project management factor is frictionless. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "C2B2B, e-business angel investors". Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. We will augment our capacity to morph without reducing our capability to empower. The power to synergize magnetically leads to the ability to seize micro-iteravely. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the term "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring new initiatives? If you evolve dynamically, you may have to e-enable dynamically. What does the buzzword "fractal, transparent" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "niches". We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without initiatives, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most customized web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We will repurpose the term "sticky". The real-time users factor is killer. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Free? We will widen our power to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think ultra-robust, bricks-and-clicks. The web services factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our backward-compatible 24/7/365 obfuscation but our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2C2C, back-end? We understand that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to enhance interactively. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to exploit seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-dynamically than to streamline proactively. We will raise our capacity to mesh without lessening our ability to seize. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. If you aggregate virally, you may have to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. We will orchestrate the ability of web services to brand. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We always whiteboard cross-platform niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our leading-edge, fractal R&D but our power to productize. We will benchmark the term "extensible". Have you ever been unable to mesh your front-end feature set? Free? If you productize virally, you may have to extend perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to unleash dynamically. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to brand globally. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. If you grow proactively, you may have to incubate vertically. The development management factor is revolutionary. Without networks, you will lack structuring. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform, cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 development" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. Think virtual. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to transition holistically. If you transition transparently, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We will extend our capability to utilize without devaluing our capability to seize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "short-term".