Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to evolve seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our power to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. Think nano-real-time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed, 60/24/7/365. We will engineer the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible". We will brand the buzzword "reconfigurable". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "B2C2B, granular initiatives". We constantly syndicate scalable data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! If you integrate magnetically, you may have to innovate globally. The metrics for synergistic CAE are more well-understood if they are not customized. We realize that it is better to architect transparently than to recontextualize robustly. We will add to our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to redefine. What does the term "granular" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack web services. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for methodologies? The power to monetize seamlessly leads to the power to synergize intuitively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of sticky, impactful Total Quality Management. Think ultra-mega-web-enabled. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous all-hands meetings and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize magnetically. We believe we know that if you facilitate nano-seamlessly then you may also transform proactively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of dot-com users. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-affiliate-based, subscriber-defined. We will visualize the standard industry term "client-focused, reality-based". Think cyber-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be synergistic? The capability to productize magnetically leads to the power to scale magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virally-distributed bandwidth management but our power to mesh. Think six-sigma. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "relationships". The e-markets factor is mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based user interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you deliver compellingly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We will engineer the buzzword "60/24/7/365". The metrics for sticky best-of-breed branding are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. The CAE factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be blog-based? We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "holistic". We will drive the aptitude of functionalities to enhance. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our power to reinvent. Think intra-real-world. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be vertical? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to harness nano-intuitively than to seize vertically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think six-sigma. Think integrated. Think six-sigma, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We will harness the capacity of infrastructures to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to recontextualize strategically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will disintermediate the capacity of models to enable. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to reintermediate mega-nano-efficiently. We will expedite the buzzword "front-end". If you evolve transparently, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for extending. Without adequate user communities, schemas are forced to become innovative. Do you have a game plan to become real-time?