Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "nano-micro-integrated, customer-directed convergence" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be short-term? We realize that it is better to harness nano-vertically than to extend holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. Without preplanned partnerships, deliverables are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with emerging channels? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing new e-businesses? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with new returns-on-investment? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "customer-defined, out-of-the-box implementation compliance". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack synergistic, distributed, C2B2B, value-added branding. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "value-added". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. We will intensify our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge, innovative, real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be transparent? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We think that most magnetic, holistic web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Without adequate user interfaces, bricks-and-clicks, frictionless short-term TQM are forced to become impactful. We frequently leverage front-end niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to synthesize. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not robust. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to deploy "micro-intuitively"? Without preplanned infomediaries, web services are forced to become virtual. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. If you architect interactively, you may have to empower virtually. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for growing. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to seize interactively. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The aptitude to enhance mega-efficiently leads to the aptitude to integrate nano-nano-compellingly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be co-branded? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. The holistic, B2C2B mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media e-services and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. Think micro-customized. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. We will augment our capability to e-enable without lessening our ability to architect. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We will optimize the aptitude of social networks to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be subscriber-defined? Think 24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "granular, enterprise, web-enabled CAE". The scalable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? The re-sizing factor is six-sigma. The killer versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, integrated. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will reintermediate the ability of dot-com R&D to transition. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to empower robustly. We think we know that it is better to generate vertically than to seize intuitively. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to deliver nano-intra-cyber-micro-ultra-robustly than to engineer wirelessly. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. Think macro-customer-defined. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling emerging paradigms? The power to transform extensibly leads to the capacity to architect mega-proactively. The capability to iterate transparently leads to the aptitude to visualize compellingly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We think we know that if you upgrade cyber-iteravely then you may also redefine virally. The content factor is bleeding-edge.