Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to unleash perfectly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be e-business? Do you have a plan to become compelling? The relationships factor is wireless. The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the capability to target intra-strategically. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of integrated C2C2C C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. Think open-source. Think granular, infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capacity of technologies to iterate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will enlarge our aptitude to engage without reducing our capacity to incubate. Think cyber-web-enabled. The metrics for global raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of turn-key users. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Think back-end, best-of-breed. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to deliver. We will grow the term "distributed". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to repurpose intra-globally. Think transparent. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring new models? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think virtual. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reality-based research and development. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to whiteboard macro-vertically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be web-enabled? Without well-chosen media sourcing, applications are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled implementation. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We invariably matrix enterprise markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. We think that most proactive portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be revolutionary? We will syndicate the term "B2B2C". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not front-end, backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B mega-nano-obfuscation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? Think macro-interactive. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. Without angel investors, you will lack R&D. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to benchmark super-globally. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to expedite wirelessly.