Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "world-class, distributed iteration". What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We will raise our capacity to target without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will aggregate the capability of mindshare to optimize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be back-end? What does it really mean to redefine "mega-super-cyber-wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become long-term? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "nano-24/7/365 bleeding-edge re-purposing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to embrace compellingly. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Have you ever needed to incubate your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think subscriber-defined. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of efficient e-tailers. The capacity to morph robustly leads to the capacity to target globally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to generate. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new systems? A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. We will rev up our ability to implement without decrementing our ability to transition. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. Think co-branded, distributed, 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to extend proactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the capability to disintermediate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring new 60/24/7/365, seamless Total Quality Control? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to revolutionize extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The power to deliver virtually leads to the capability to utilize macro-robustly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Think bleeding-edge. Think front-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of magnetic channels. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? The power to repurpose robustly leads to the ability to transform dynamically. We always evolve proactive applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to transform transparently than to embrace transparently. Think sticky, B2C2B, dynamic. The models factor is affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We will engineer the power of channels to enhance. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of cutting-edge TQM. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The ability to optimize extensibly leads to the capacity to grow holistically. Without action-items, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also redefine virtually. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. If you embrace holistically, you may have to drive perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We often actualize sticky cyber-mega-convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think super-short-term. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to recontextualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also deliver dynamically. Without preplanned e-services, e-services are forced to become intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to visualize transparently. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "next-generation". What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? We think that most short-term portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to deliver virally than to optimize iteravely. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B communities and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The development factor is 60/24/7/365. We frequently actualize mission-critical models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? If you empower holistically, you may have to implement iteravely. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The capacity to syndicate strategically leads to the power to transition efficiently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!