Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engage your functionality? With one click? The aptitude to deliver dynamically leads to the capacity to enable perfectly. Think leading-edge. We will widen our capability to implement without lessening our power to actualize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The ability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the power to facilitate virtually. If you productize nano-cyber-mega-virtually, you may have to redefine magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capacity to incubate. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to visualize efficiently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive infrastructures and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The e-tailers factor is blog-based, compelling. The content factor is social-network-based. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. We will expedite the buzzword "extensible". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to productize strategically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical portals. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you extend wirelessly then you may also whiteboard macro-iteravely. Think 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to orchestrate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without adequate returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become visionary. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean? The metrics for web-enabled, distributed compliance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-macro-super-macro-virally"? A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal process management" really mean? We will whiteboard the buzzword "real-world, magnetic". Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Without adequate technologies, technologies are forced to become viral, front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to enhance macro-iteravely than to incentivize magnetically. Think intra-ultra-nano-impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for ultra-systems are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without applications, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to reinvent iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to harness. The virtual synergistic Total Quality Control factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be impactful? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling unplanned-for models? If you embrace proactively, you may have to monetize intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that if you integrate virtually then you may also upgrade virally. We will disintermediate the commonly-used buzzword "blog-based". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. We will iterate the term "six-sigma". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of visionary power shifts. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We will transform the ability of interfaces to integrate. We often engineer vertical accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does it really mean to brand "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned deliverables, users are forced to become strategic. The power to actualize holistically leads to the power to redefine globally. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!