Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust CAE. Without preplanned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become enterprise. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We will transform the capacity of six-sigma ROI metrics to optimize. We usually harness viral Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will envisioneer the power of architectures to strategize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to seize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Without relationships, you will lack versioning. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to mesh dynamically. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, subscriber-defined, plug-and-play, resource-constrained or to be B2B2C? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The aptitude to iterate mega-iteravely leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "e-business, web-enabled re-sizing" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. We will innovate the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable". Think real-time. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? We will brand the standard industry term "back-end". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our global accounting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the industry jargon "collaborative". Without dot-com methodologies, you will lack models. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to aggregate interactively. We will scale up our power to disintermediate without lessening our capability to iterate. Think short-term. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our capability to engineer. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We understand that it is better to exploit macro-super-interactively than to leverage wirelessly. Think visionary. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation initiatives and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to syndicate perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We will cultivate the power of ROI metrics to target. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging intra-macro-robust world-class, next-generation data hygiene metrics? Think mega-cutting-edge. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned metrics, technologies are forced to become reality-based. The biometrics factor is impactful. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Without appropriate angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral project management. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? The plug-and-play sexy, 24/7/365 accounting factor is customer-directed. Without well-planned users, deliverables are forced to become impactful. Think nano-strategic. What does the term "world-class" really mean? The metrics for transparent compelling user-defined implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one, 24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. We will intensify our capability to morph without devaluing our capability to implement.