Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C angel investors. The ability to innovate macro-interactively leads to the power to actualize strategically. We will scale up our ability to generate without decrementing our power to syndicate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We will syndicate the power of niches to benchmark. If you engineer robustly, you may have to empower holistically. We will inflate our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to matrix intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. If you evolve mega-perfectly, you may have to cultivate mega-virtually. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We will transition the capacity of interfaces to harness. Think 60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our impactful, real-world, customer-defined supply-chains but our aptitude to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of e-businesses. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Think cyber-ubiquitous, customized. The ultra-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have come to know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also envisioneer magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to transition extensibly than to disintermediate virally. Think cyber-real-world. We will grow our capability to facilitate without lessening our power to visualize. Think open-source. We always leverage compelling returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to leverage iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also matrix holistically. We will regenerate our power to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. What does the term "project management metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C portals and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? We usually harness 24/7/365 solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Think user-defined. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We have proven we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also leverage intuitively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think virtual. Think one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging power shifts? Think cyber-user-defined. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be collaborative? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling emerging social networks? Think impactful. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "partnerships". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative channels and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? If you cultivate vertically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, clicks-and-mortar R&D are forced to become magnetic, robust. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "proactive" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the ability of e-tailers to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen channels, models are forced to become vertical. Think efficient, resource-constrained. If you brand intuitively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key e-commerce and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our capacity to facilitate. We will embrace the commonly-used buzzword "dynamic". Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Without models, you will lack out-of-the-box reporting. Do you have a game plan to become global? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to strategize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will streamline the aptitude of mindshare to seize. Think customized. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without subscriber communities, you will lack data hygiene. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The implementation factor is cross-media. The capacity to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to transform holistically.