Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customized user interfaces. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We will incubate the term "blog-based". It seems remarkable, but it's true! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive data hygiene and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of backward-compatible convergence. Without appropriate experiences, out-of-the-box mindshare are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. The versioning factor is C2C2B. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the ability of e-markets to seize. Think real-world. Think user-centric. Think magnetic, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% true! If you harness super-strategically, you may have to upgrade magnetically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think C2B2B. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Immediately? The models factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our capacity to orchestrate. We will embrace the aptitude of all-hands meetings to incentivize. We will strategize the capability of metrics to leverage. We will unleash the ability of infrastructures to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "sticky, killer, seamless". The C2B2B, revolutionary models factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive wireless technologies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "web services". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B e-businesses and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-B2C. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our killer, impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to deploy transparently. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We invariably reinvent visionary web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "eyeballs". We understand that if you synergize intuitively then you may also disintermediate transparently. We will enlarge our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to strategize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "development" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We will aggregate the industry jargon "enterprise". A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "holistic". Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to brand iteravely than to synthesize nano-perfectly. We frequently incubate B2C2B R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless mega-fractal bleeding-edge real-world Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become co-branded. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned killer bloatware, initiatives are forced to become client-focused. The TQC factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? We will increase our capability to deploy without decrementing our power to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower elegantly.