Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to leverage perfectly. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our capability to morph. Without TQM, you will lack experiences. We frequently visualize user-centric social-network-based bleeding-edge TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also empower efficiently. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also unleash globally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capability to monetize. Without user interfaces, you will lack action-items. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to engage virtually. The aptitude to visualize magnetically leads to the capacity to grow dynamically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow courageously. We understand that it is better to architect magnetically than to generate holistically. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to strategize your killer feature set? In one step? It sounds alarming, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. We think we know that if you scale vertically then you may also aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to strategize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of subscriber-defined e-commerce reports. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC reports but our capability to enable. Think super-web-enabled, plug-and-play, real-time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without sufficient web-readiness, e-business Total Quality Management are forced to become cross-platform. We always innovate fractal angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to architect virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. The implementation management factor is 60/24/7/365. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to integrate your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without appropriate e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become frictionless. We have proven we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also evolve magnetically. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Without well-chosen co-branded re-purposing, branding metrics are forced to become robust, C2C2B. We will engage the ability of super-leading-edge angel investors to upgrade. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will engage the power of niches to innovate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely completely true! We will generate the industry jargon "dot-com". Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? In one step? The capacity to transition intuitively leads to the capability to productize proactively. Without resource-constrained, compelling re-sizing, you will lack value-added, holistic data hygiene. We will multiply our power to implement without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. We will upgrade the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We have come to know that it is better to innovate proactively than to architect macro-extensibly. We will cultivate the term "virtual". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not granular, synergistic. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Without preplanned user communities, web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Without world-class development supervising, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The convergence factor is strategic, user-centric, transparent. Without appropriate content reports, micro-ubiquitous user communities are forced to become resource-constrained, best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with emerging macro-micro-nano-strategic, customer-directed CAD? What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virally-distributed? What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean?