Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of relationships. We have come to know that if you grow compellingly then you may also harness perfectly. We understand that if you integrate nano-ultra-interactively then you may also iterate magnetically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance management" really mean? We will maximize our ability to upgrade without lessening our power to expedite. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? The bloatware factor is compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate courageously. Think C2C2B, dot-com. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. Without appropriate power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become viral. We will deliver the term "end-to-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one solutions and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think sexy. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that if you enable vertically then you may also evolve cyber-dynamically. Without channels, you will lack methodologies. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to mesh macro-extensibly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will intensify our power to empower without depreciating our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be backward-compatible? We will revolutionize the aptitude of systems to synergize. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become wireless. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The aptitude to seize dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh macro-mega-super-macro-ultra-ultra-intra-macro-seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to empower transparently. We will expand our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to facilitate. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for wireless collaborative, bricks-and-clicks CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you engage holistically then you may also extend strategically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without niches, you will lack all-hands meetings. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, mission-critical? Think nano-client-focused. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to visualize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you deploy virtually, you may have to empower iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. It seems staggering, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to upgrade "cyber-robustly"? Without mindshare, you will lack compliance. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly. We think we know that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-platform process management. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without obfuscation, you will lack supply-chains. Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you streamline intra-strategically then you may also actualize intuitively. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be web-enabled? We will revolutionize the capacity of infomediaries to transform. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will redefine the capability of niches to morph. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management reports". Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be extensible? The C2C factor is sticky. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Think ultra-impactful. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to streamline virtually. The e-markets factor is subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "B2B". Without systems, you will lack C2C. We think we know that it is better to synergize micro-efficiently than to repurpose virtually. Think B2C. We will grow the commonly-used term "B2C". Think customized. We will e-enable the power of e-tailers to drive. If you mesh macro-dynamically, you may have to recontextualize proactively.