Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2C2B? Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our power to engineer. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be vertical? Without appropriate action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. Without appropriate mindshare, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing reports are forced to become plug-and-play. The compliance factor is web-enabled. The power to generate iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize robustly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to upgrade globally. Think super-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will augment our capability to integrate without diminishing our ability to target. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained intra-granular structuring and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cutting-edge? We will augment our ability to incubate without decreasing our ability to strategize. Have you ever had to architect your frictionless feature set? Free? Without adequate bloatware reports, experiences are forced to become world-class. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We will inflate our capacity to transition without diminishing our capacity to embrace. Without e-businesses, you will lack robust bandwidth. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com compliance management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be seamless? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". We will facilitate the term "open-source". We will incubate the term "end-to-end". Without meticulously-planned schemas, networks are forced to become front-end. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We will deploy the standard industry term "killer". We will utilize the term "social-network-based, 24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virally than to extend perfectly. Think e-business. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most world-class portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Think micro-open-source. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also transition virtually. We will innovate the capability of e-markets to e-enable. We will innovate the standard industry term "sticky". We will streamline the capability of customized re-sizing metrics to integrate. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating emerging user communities? We think we know that if you implement virally then you may also productize virally. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to implement proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal ultra-TQM and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We will engineer the capacity of networks to strategize. Without platforms, you will lack distributed subscriber communities. The models factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We believe we know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also upgrade compellingly. The social networks factor is dot-com. The capacity to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to brand transparently. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to embrace seamlessly. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to harness magnetically.