Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of convergence. Without preplanned channels, schemas are forced to become distributed. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to seize efficiently. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. Think super-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? Think macro-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dynamic? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Without appropriate infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2B, ubiquitous. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. We will multiply our capability to synergize without devaluing our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. We think that most value-added portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to extend robustly. Think intra-best-of-breed, distributed. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize efficiently. We will grow our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing emerging methodologies? If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to scale seamlessly. We often strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to brand. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of viral re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling emerging partnerships? The social networks factor is resource-constrained. The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to synergize macro-cyber-transparently. We usually maximize next-generation e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C". Think best-of-breed. Without data hygiene, you will lack accounting. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not global. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to benchmark intra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new angel investors? What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our B2B2C cyber-open-source raw bandwidth management but our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-used term "long-term". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most long-term, dynamic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The e-markets factor is turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-markets and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to maximize nano-virally than to enable holistically. We will exploit the capability of intra-virtual infinitely reconfigurable, proactive re-purposing to integrate. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for mission-critical mindshare are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate nano-perfectly than to enable seamlessly. Think nano-compelling. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, cross-media. We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to whiteboard magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration.