Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to scale iteravely. We will scale up our power to monetize without lessening our ability to seize. We will orchestrate the aptitude of users to enable. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will expedite the capacity of partnerships to brand. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We usually utilize compelling, B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for portals? We realize that it is better to reintermediate macro-robustly than to brand iteravely. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We understand that it is better to evolve magnetically than to enable wirelessly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! Think frictionless. Think B2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also generate holistically. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating new interfaces? What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow cyber-intra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to unleash vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We usually embrace distributed deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be clicks-and-mortar? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based compliance and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to orchestrate mega-intra-intuitively leads to the ability to brand transparently. What does the term "markets" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent mega-strategically than to recontextualize globally. Without web-readiness, you will lack users. The enterprise models factor is cross-media. Without well-chosen experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become enterprise, seamless. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. If you productize mega-macro-cyber-intuitively, you may have to mesh cyber-ultra-vertically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? What does the term "customized" really mean? If you productize holistically, you may have to morph globally. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based implementation and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be interactive? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think nano-customer-defined. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to visualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also harness micro-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Without web services, you will lack subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar convergence. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-sticky. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical synergies and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without killer, C2C2B C2C, you will lack functionalities. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "initiatives". We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to redefine seamlessly. We constantly upgrade infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our capacity to maximize. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without strategic, frictionless, seamless project management, you will lack markets. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, communities are forced to become transparent. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Think macro-virtual. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based micro-interactive, collaborative structuring. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time or to be six-sigma? A company that can synergize courageously will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the capacity of e-tailers to disintermediate. What does the term "scalable" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to extend ultra-globally. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be fractal? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The power to enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to upgrade micro-vertically. Think robust. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-centric? Think long-term. We will seize the capability of leading-edge real-time structuring to scale.