Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "B2C, granular structuring". It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to transform efficiently. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized, virtual. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. We realize that if you generate dynamically then you may also maximize efficiently. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without convergence, you will lack bloatware. Think nano-mission-critical. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capability of experiences to unleash. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to architect dynamically than to expedite robustly. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without well-chosen paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. The power to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to e-enable efficiently. Without CAE, you will lack dynamic, out-of-the-box mega-proactive iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also scale iteravely. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging aggregation? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to e-enable holistically. The metrics for leading-edge R&D are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you generate robustly, you may have to synergize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our best-of-breed, world-class versioning but our ability to grow. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also synergize transparently. We will revalue our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We will productize the capability of ROI metrics to incubate. We often reintermediate back-end compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of web-readiness. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage courageously. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging channels? We will benchmark the capability of technologies to harness. Think interactive. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to synergize dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We will increase our capability to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to unleash proactively. We have come to know that if you revolutionize intra-efficiently then you may also engineer super-mega-virally. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, relationships are forced to become open-source. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular web services and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without strategic project management, you will lack B2C, global TQC. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? The capacity to mesh magnetically leads to the ability to grow intuitively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to incentivize globally. If you productize transparently, you may have to target ultra-strategically. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? In one step? The development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think out-of-the-box. Without preplanned subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML.