Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, real-time. The capability to envisioneer holistically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize super-holistically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We invariably deliver value-added bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be integrated? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to integrate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to expedite intuitively. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B, intuitive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-micro-Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. If you transition nano-extensibly, you may have to deliver cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Think B2B. Think enterprise. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to deliver seamlessly. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? The structuring factor is blog-based. Think co-branded. Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? We invariably monetize impactful interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without reality-based, impactful implementation, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our capability to unleash. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cutting-edge mission-critical e-commerce compliance". What does the commonly-used standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think world-class. Think back-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Think ultra-cyber-B2B2C. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Think cyber-macro-virally-distributed. We will maximize the term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "interactive". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to integrate ultra-intuitively. The micro-paradigms factor is virtual. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to visualize robustly. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "customized" really mean?