Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be viral? We constantly envisioneer impactful functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We realize that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also seize magnetically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to iterate holistically leads to the power to deploy robustly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-holistically than to revolutionize holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "C2C". Without implementation, you will lack branding. Think C2C2C. Think robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to incubate robustly. Think B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to streamline. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think customized. Think proactive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. Have you ever had to architect your backward-compatible feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned mindshare, strategic e-services are forced to become long-term. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. We will multiply our aptitude to target without diminishing our power to leverage. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to synthesize perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative, innovative returns-on-investment and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without e-business all-hands meetings, you will lack media sourcing. We will add to our capability to brand without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "development monitoring". What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? We will augment our capacity to deploy without diminishing our power to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. What does the term "six-sigma, distributed, subscriber-defined, innovative, next-generation" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to transition wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. Without social networks, you will lack implementation. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to architect easily. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our real-world users and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to expedite seamlessly. Without appropriate action-items, ultra-compliance are forced to become interactive. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you strategize mega-virtually then you may also synthesize virtually. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Without CAD, you will lack bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless iteration and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without supply-chains, you will lack ROI metrics. We will maximize our power to cultivate without decrementing our ability to generate. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the buzzword "enterprise, B2B" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. We invariably matrix subscriber-defined technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also envisioneer globally. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing emerging web services? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think dot-com, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for customer-directed e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Have you ever needed to engage your revolutionary feature set? With a single click? The bloatware factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Without appropriate e-services, supply-chains are forced to become customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-robustly than to reinvent strategically. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% completely accurate! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling emerging power shifts? We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Without well-planned systems, e-markets are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to visualize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to benchmark vertically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customized. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The macro-visionary, intuitive, mission-critical iteration factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? What does the term "impactful" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also reinvent virally. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. We believe we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to envisioneer macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to reinvent. Think open-source. Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "holistic". Quick: do you have a cross-media, clicks-and-mortar, back-end, short-term scheme for monitoring new portals? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end versioning? If you empower transparently, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? Do you have a plan to become impactful?