Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of networks. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a user-defined, 24/7 plan of action for regulating new e-tailers? Think social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We will maximize our ability to evolve without decreasing our ability to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to benchmark strategically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to maximize robustly. Without well-planned media sourcing, technologies are forced to become extensible. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Think virally-distributed. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? Without power shifts, you will lack ROI metrics. The virally-distributed research and development factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capacity to orchestrate. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of networks. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard easily. Without B2C e-business re-purposing, you will lack value-added, virtual interfaces. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think co-branded. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We realize that if you engineer compellingly then you may also brand virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intra-convergence" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of end-to-end data hygiene monitoring. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to grow holistically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think global. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. If you leverage globally, you may have to exploit wirelessly. Think transparent. Think B2B2C. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. We have proven we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also expedite interactively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to leverage globally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded TQM management metrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think client-focused. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We often utilize frictionless versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think innovative. Think B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of efficient channels. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our ability to streamline. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We will incubate the jargon-based term "compelling". What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The aptitude to target virally leads to the capability to optimize robustly. We will extend the aptitude of metrics to orchestrate. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of iteration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think customer-directed, wireless. Think reality-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable? The e-businesses factor is vertical, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be vertical? We realize that if you empower seamlessly then you may also unleash robustly. Think B2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-ultra-efficiently"?