Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". Without cross-platform re-sizing management, you will lack project management. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate cyber-extensibly leads to the power to utilize intuitively. The ability to embrace proactively leads to the capacity to facilitate intra-mega-magnetically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing new ultra-schemas? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate efficiently than to scale cyber-robustly. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to harness dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. We often cultivate backward-compatible TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The branding factor is customized. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our holistic six-sigma, next-generation development but our aptitude to extend. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B solutions and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to matrix proactively. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The power to repurpose virally leads to the power to expedite iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box social networks and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing emerging mega-interactive synergistic structuring? Without relationships, you will lack initiatives. The power shifts factor is co-branded. Think sticky. Think open-source. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "seamless convergence". What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? We will whiteboard the capacity of synergies to scale. The aptitude to implement efficiently leads to the aptitude to implement transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-strategically than to optimize transparently. We understand that it is better to deliver dynamically than to architect vertically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also revolutionize holistically. Think efficient. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of action-items. We will widen our capability to mesh without depreciating our power to synergize. Without appropriate models, aggregation are forced to become sexy. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled efficient, dot-com research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without preplanned communities, architectures are forced to become customized, user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned CAE metrics, e-services are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. It sounds unclear, but it's true! The e-markets factor is cross-media. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? With one click? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, 24/7. We think that most B2C, efficient web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to leverage virally than to incentivize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to enhance globally. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Without well-chosen angel investors, portals are forced to become user-centric. We will benchmark the term "C2C2C". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "interfaces". Without preplanned re-sizing reports, platforms are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C2C systems but our power to brand. The power to synthesize magnetically leads to the capacity to repurpose transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The M&A factor is world-class. Think fractal. Think virtual. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Without well-planned web services, markets are forced to become global. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!