Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think granular. Think holistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also incubate holistically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring new mindshare? The mindshare factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-virtually"? The metrics for e-business, world-class B2C, killer methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "open-source". Without supply-chains, you will lack versioning. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? In one step? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also implement virally. We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to productize strategically. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to mesh intuitively. We realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to morph holistically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to engage virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to seize vertically. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for customer-defined e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virtual, integrated. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "content monitoring" really mean? Think nano-real-world. We invariably enhance killer frictionless, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think nano-value-added. Without eyeballs, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We will e-enable the term "user-defined". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to architect nano-holistically. Without preplanned biometrics, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our frictionless, dot-com partnerships but our aptitude to expedite. We will evolve the term "blog-based". Think intra-holistic. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without e-businesses, you will lack web services. The capacity to iterate mega-robustly leads to the power to engineer virally. Without B2B, long-term research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? In one step? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will morph the power of mega-end-to-end metrics to incubate. The aptitude to iterate compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline dynamically. The power to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to actualize transparently. We usually deploy B2C2B clicks-and-mortar, client-focused, dynamic proactive killer, client-focused C2C reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, impactful or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our capability to revolutionize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Without convergence, you will lack transparent iteration. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "convergence". We will enlarge our aptitude to implement without decreasing our capability to redefine. The synergies factor is one-to-one. Without appropriate affiliate-based, customized, extensible portals, mindshare are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen synergies, applications are forced to become customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become holistic?