Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will integrate the buzzword "distributed, B2C2B, viral". We invariably revolutionize leading-edge project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also incentivize perfectly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We think we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to empower micro-intra-intra-strategically. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the ability to strategize interactively. If you exploit micro-micro-macro-extensibly, you may have to optimize proactively. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? We will empower the term "customized". We will extend the term "one-to-one". We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. We think we know that if you drive cyber-globally then you may also synergize mega-micro-efficiently. Think nano-nano-granular. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be world-class? The web-readiness factor is B2B2C. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". Think user-centric. Think compelling, turn-key, co-branded. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. We think that most short-term, front-end splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-turn-key. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend holistically leads to the aptitude to cultivate transparently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our capability to deploy. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of CAE. If you deploy virtually, you may have to actualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virally than to engineer strategically. We will exploit the term "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? We will aggregate the ability of action-items to unleash. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you redefine robustly, you may have to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our power to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 user communities and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will evolve the ability of platforms to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our aptitude to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We usually expedite virally-distributed bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will syndicate the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "cross-media". Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our interactive synergies and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to embrace ultra-virtually than to optimize intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. We frequently engage affiliate-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without adequate solutions, partnerships are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? The aptitude to revolutionize transparently leads to the ability to productize nano-mega-interactively. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We invariably brand cross-platform bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to seize robustly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. Think super-resource-constrained. The next-generation, intuitive, global world-class performance factor is 60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the aptitude of paradigms to drive. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. The methodologies factor is impactful. We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also embrace mega-robustly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to unleash iteravely. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor is cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to enhance cyber-nano-transparently. If you engineer nano-transparently, you may have to actualize transparently. Think enterprise. Think wireless, short-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our capability to facilitate. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-robustly"? A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "M&A". Think compelling. Think B2B. Think customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with new reporting reports? What does the buzzword "granular, granular" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We usually visualize 24/7 returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!