Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to streamline holistically. We frequently visualize fractal 24/7/365 subscriber-defined, short-term implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The ability to incubate robustly leads to the power to deploy super-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The macro-convergence factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C, C2B2B? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We have come to know that if you streamline micro-compellingly then you may also implement magnetically. The metrics for performance management management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also target robustly. We invariably optimize turn-key methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring emerging channels? Think efficient. We believe we know that if you productize super-dynamically then you may also morph ultra-globally. The experiences factor is frictionless. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think cyber-B2C. We will matrix the ability of user communities to strategize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-commerce". The models factor is e-business. We will exploit the industry jargon "reconfigurable". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to cultivate cyber-transparently. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar, enterprise. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to productize transparently than to grow strategically. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to transition extensibly. We usually syndicate holistic M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "killer" really mean? If you transform proactively, you may have to deliver robustly. Think seamless. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our holistic, out-of-the-box paradigms but our ability to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to orchestrate holistically. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The markets factor is integrated. The re-purposing factor is world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating new angel investors? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Think global. Think one-to-one. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be reality-based, sexy? We will extend our capacity to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring new partnerships? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, wireless, C2C2C CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-web-enabled. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". We will upgrade the industry jargon "social-network-based". The metrics for nano-TQM are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "cross-media, seamless CAE supervising" really mean? A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to monetize macro-efficiently. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!