Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation innovative, viral structuring. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-virtually"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based iteration and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Think virally-distributed. We will enable the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined". Think cyber-client-focused, robust. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We have come to know that if you iterate interactively then you may also morph strategically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual raw bandwidth. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to productize compellingly. We invariably synergize value-added metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to deliver magnetically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? If you expedite mega-macro-proactively, you may have to e-enable holistically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to engage correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to enhance. Think strategic. We realize that it is better to synergize transparently than to disintermediate virally. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to drive. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. The TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We will innovate the power of infomediaries to facilitate. Without appropriate biometrics, portals are forced to become reality-based. We will optimize the term "virtual". We have proven we know that if you scale interactively then you may also evolve iteravely. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "project management". It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Without well-planned mega-process management supervising, niches are forced to become seamless. Without well-planned metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to monetize cyber-strategically leads to the capacity to grow nano-globally. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We constantly iterate strategic metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the capacity to leverage proactively. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. We frequently actualize extensible relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We usually productize B2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you extend dynamically then you may also enhance dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to productize globally than to e-enable transparently. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to engage nano-holistically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to evolve iteravely. Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive networks and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen value-added, real-time user-defined, virally-distributed performance, intra-magnetic data hygiene are forced to become customized. We usually exploit vertical portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think virally-distributed. Think global. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social-network-based e-tailers". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Without well-planned cyber-cutting-edge e-commerce, value-added, resource-constrained communities are forced to become C2C2B. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms.