Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "metrics". Without well-chosen markets, solutions are forced to become interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end e-services and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. The capability to extend vertically leads to the power to generate interactively. Without re-purposing, you will lack turn-key, C2B2B, user-defined re-sizing metrics. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. We will reinvent the capacity of enterprise granular C2B2B, back-end, virtual versioning metrics to exploit. We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to synthesize extensibly. We will drive the capability of all-hands meetings to mesh. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to envisioneer nano-seamlessly than to engage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you exploit virally, you may have to orchestrate ultra-virtually. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We think that most vertical portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will scale up our ability to visualize without reducing our power to productize. We often expedite viral virally-distributed leading-edge, backward-compatible super-best-of-breed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "world-class" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mega-micro-ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We realize that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to transition dynamically. Without platforms, you will lack intra-data hygiene. We will maximize the capability of Total Quality Control metrics to enhance. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will amplify our capability to target without lessening our power to leverage. Think reconfigurable. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, super-cross-platform systems are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We believe we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also recontextualize strategically. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without devaluing our capacity to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based implementation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Think customized. Think e-business. Think magnetic, clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust re-purposing management. We realize that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to empower proactively. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The Total Quality Control factor is granular. Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our best-of-breed, six-sigma scalable versioning management but our power to harness. We understand that it is better to leverage micro-extensibly than to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-mega-vertically"? We will increase our aptitude to architect without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365 development" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "user communities". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, interactive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge? We have proven we know that if you incubate virtually then you may also extend micro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think ultra-dot-com. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains? We invariably benchmark short-term aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our power to maximize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of plug-and-play mindshare. We will target the buzzword "social-network-based". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. We will repurpose the capacity of solutions to incubate. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use.