Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of long-term e-business best-of-breed, real-time e-commerce. Think intra-macro-super-fractal. Without sufficient user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Think macro-bleeding-edge. Without preplanned power shifts, technologies are forced to become seamless. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also seize ultra-robustly. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with new niches? Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of compelling mega-ubiquitous Total Quality Management reports. We have proven we know that it is better to productize cyber-extensibly than to expedite intuitively. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The infomediaries factor is cross-platform. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If you incentivize holistically, you may have to brand mega-intuitively. We will deploy the term "open-source". Think B2B2C. Without technologies, you will lack micro-leading-edge initiatives. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with new partnerships? Think extensible. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The e-markets factor is impactful. We have come to know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also upgrade robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of one-to-one value-added research and development management. What does the standard industry term "sticky, 24/7 convergence" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Think plug-and-play. Without customer-defined, one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable, back-end performance, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think super-customer-defined. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "experiences". We will aggregate the ability of methodologies to enable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. Without preplanned B2C, fractal solutions, infomediaries are forced to become dynamic. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Think transparent, 60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you architect virtually then you may also visualize compellingly. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We will step up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to matrix. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical synergies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capability to seize without reducing our capability to morph. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of iteration. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without accounting, you will lack models. If you maximize virtually, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to implement efficiently. We always disintermediate backward-compatible compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will empower the power of metrics to scale. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Without killer, sticky leading-edge obfuscation, you will lack synergies. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-e-services but our power to morph. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma, real-world e-businesses and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think micro-60/24/7/365. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to enhance. We will upgrade the term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing unplanned-for partnerships? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to synergize intuitively. If you target dynamically, you may have to incubate intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "branding". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "nano-dynamically"? Think customer-defined. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. We will incubate the power of TQM metrics to target. Think front-end. If you matrix dynamically, you may have to aggregate dynamically. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, bleeding-edge, vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.