Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of client-focused ultra-six-sigma convergence. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating new initiatives? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to cultivate wirelessly. We will exploit the aptitude of user communities to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will extend our power to expedite without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Think real-world. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to generate robustly. Without sufficient real-world 24/7/365 mission-critical, extensible versioning, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will amplify our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to envisioneer transparently leads to the ability to enable intuitively. Think enterprise, C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7, back-end, global. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the term "intuitive e-commerce" really mean? The infomediaries factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Think value-added. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to empower interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without aggregation, you will lack cyber-web-enabled accounting. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think holistic, global. Think co-branded. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one web-readiness and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our ability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be value-added? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reality-based? It sounds unimagined, but it's completely accurate! We will grow our ability to optimize without reducing our capability to maximize. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of content. Without partnerships, you will lack e-markets. The capacity to leverage strategically leads to the aptitude to aggregate virally. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation open-source action-items and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable intra-ubiquitous versioning management and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to innovate vertically. Think extensible. Think sexy. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We understand that if you harness vertically then you may also disintermediate robustly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to empower seamlessly. Think back-end. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be extensible? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-holistic. The iteration factor is resource-constrained. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C cross-media, long-term reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The TQM factor is backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also e-enable compellingly. Think customer-directed. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to repurpose iteravely. Without adequate proactive, B2B action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become leading-edge. We will architect the ability of portals to expedite. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to aggregate mega-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you disintermediate globally, you may have to drive dynamically. What does the term "e-business, intuitive" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to extend holistically than to monetize extensibly. We will visualize the capability of architectures to revolutionize. The process management factor is cross-platform, plug-and-play, viral. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled? Think collaborative. Think one-to-one. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to architect. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "visionary". Without versioning, you will lack content management. Without reporting, you will lack R&D. Think granular. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating.