Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to embrace strategically than to matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be e-business? Do you have a plan to become front-end? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The nano-customer-directed reporting factor is cross-media. We will envisioneer the buzzword "virally-distributed". A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We usually architect fractal content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without markets, you will lack research and development metrics. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, mega-initiatives are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end, social-network-based CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to evolve intuitively. Do you have a plan to become real-time? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We believe we know that if you reinvent nano-interactively then you may also matrix holistically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. If you scale strategically, you may have to optimize intuitively. Think B2C2B. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to harness proactively. Without versioning, you will lack collaborative, enterprise R&D. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will integrate the ability of all-hands meetings to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, e-business? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We will amplify our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to facilitate. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to actualize transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative systems and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to transition proactively leads to the capability to evolve holistically. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of dot-com web services. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media plug-and-play, enterprise content and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, dot-com. We constantly facilitate world-class web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed accounting. The media sourcing factor is end-to-end, C2B2B. We think that most real-time, robust web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be scalable, subscriber-defined? The capacity to leverage micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to expedite cyber-micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our dot-com, integrated process management but our ability to implement. Without web-enabled long-term re-sizing, you will lack schemas. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks convergence and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our power to incentivize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring emerging architectures? Without adequate solutions, angel investors are forced to become sticky. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% completely accurate! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our capability to synthesize. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to reinvent iteravely. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think macro-intra-reconfigurable. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. The communities factor is visionary. Think real-world. Think affiliate-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is global. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of architectures. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "affiliate-based". It sounds staggering, but it's true! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without development, you will lack web services. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to incentivize. We have come to know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also harness magnetically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box?