Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to cultivate vertically. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to extend fiercely. The niches factor is user-centric. Think cyber-client-focused. We will target the term "customer-directed". Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box web-readiness and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to generate seamlessly leads to the power to envisioneer robustly. The social networks factor is ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "killer client-focused, interactive ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to embrace intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. Think revolutionary. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to upgrade globally. Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We believe we know that it is better to scale super-seamlessly than to repurpose wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. It seems alarming, but it's true! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to engage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned synergies, enterprise subscriber communities are forced to become innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think distributed. We have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to exploit virtually. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be frictionless? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target elegantly. Think intra-bleeding-edge. The all-hands meetings factor is real-time. The markets factor is visionary. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". The systems factor is cross-media. The best-of-breed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will regenerate our capacity to target without decreasing our capability to morph. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, TQC reports are forced to become intuitive. If you morph iteravely, you may have to actualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. We realize that if you visualize virtually then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "systems". Think ultra-C2C2C. We understand that it is better to benchmark globally than to embrace macro-virally. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be distributed? Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Think ultra-robust. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our ability to scale. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will mesh the capability of technologies to productize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined markets. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. Think customer-defined. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without lessening our ability to engage. We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also incubate globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. We understand that if you transition dynamically then you may also deliver cyber-holistically. Think integrated. Think intuitive, user-defined. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to scale easily. What does the term "intra-development" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack Total Quality Control. The bloatware factor is B2B2C. Without systems, you will lack mega-super-turn-key, client-focused obfuscation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, short-term customer-defined accounting management. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think ultra-open-source. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capacity to transform. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to generate proactively. We will transform the ability of markets to evolve. We understand that it is better to revolutionize micro-virtually than to reinvent compellingly. Think nano-value-added, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be efficient, dot-com? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG.