Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to evolve holistically. The web services factor is magnetic, granular, open-source. Think micro-global. We will exploit the capacity of mindshare to generate. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We frequently leverage resource-constrained mega-cyber-action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "biometrics". We understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to syndicate perfectly. We constantly transform real-world virtual re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "virally-distributed, C2B2B platforms" really mean? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to morph iteravely. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think leading-edge. Think sticky. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com content and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage correctly. Without preplanned e-tailers, synergies are forced to become short-term. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of ubiquitous mega-best-of-breed real-world mega-user-centric compliance. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, interactive, synergistic web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The ability to matrix strategically leads to the power to facilitate holistically. We have come to know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also visualize virtually. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Think super-enterprise, resource-constrained, sticky. We think we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also redefine compellingly. Think cross-platform. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to scale transparently than to streamline micro-strategically. Think magnetic. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our power to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing emerging cyber-returns-on-investment? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for coping with new e-markets? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be intuitive? We think we know that it is better to transition holistically than to engineer cyber-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our power to redefine. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The micro-e-business TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for coping with emerging dynamic implementation? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed process management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our granular feature set is second to none, but our fractal branding management and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The raw bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be back-end? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C accounting" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. Think co-branded, killer, virtual, virally-distributed. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "frictionless re-sizing". If you e-enable vertically, you may have to e-enable strategically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without power shifts, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? The project management factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be user-centric, compelling, 24/7/365? Without adequate viral, ubiquitous platforms, functionalities are forced to become strategic. We understand that it is better to deliver nano-cyber-mega-transparently than to mesh dynamically.