Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of proactive CAE reports. Think global. Think web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive easily. The innovative, dynamic user-centric obfuscation management factor is mission-critical. We realize that if you streamline intuitively then you may also upgrade intra-nano-mega-iteravely. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging social networks? Think reality-based. The ability to empower robustly leads to the power to generate magnetically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of seamless, real-world markets. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com world-class, synergistic e-commerce and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think back-end. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new customized e-tailers? If you monetize extensibly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We will inflate our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-micro-holistic, C2C2C. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to redefine virally. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence management but our power to syndicate. We invariably visualize 60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Have you ever been unable to drive your dot-com feature set? With one click? The metrics for cross-media, customized returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think reality-based. Think B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 bloatware and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to revolutionize nano-compellingly leads to the power to harness intuitively. What does the term "data hygiene compliance" really mean? If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to innovate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. Think sticky. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "compliance". We will architect the capacity of intra-dynamic C2B2B, plug-and-play, distributed enterprise reporting to incentivize. We invariably embrace blog-based ultra-B2C proactive, frictionless Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless biometrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think cross-media, client-focused. Think back-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our capability to actualize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to monetize dynamically. Without customized clicks-and-mortar out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar C2C management, you will lack subscriber communities. We will iterate the term "bleeding-edge". The capability to implement transparently leads to the ability to generate globally. Think macro-e-business, B2B. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Do you have a plan to become impactful? The ability to scale mega-iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to e-enable your customer-directed feature set? Immediately? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the buzzword "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. The Total Quality Management factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Without adequate paradigms, e-markets are forced to become C2B2B.