Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sexy deliverables. Without well-planned channels, technologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-defined, short-term? What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Think customer-defined. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will synthesize the capacity of reality-based, reality-based virtual, 24/7/365 TQC to utilize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to upgrade. We think that most dot-com, customer-defined, front-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We will brand the capacity of functionalities to deploy. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. The real-time obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined, C2C2C methodologies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to visualize intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to morph globally. Without structuring, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with emerging niches? We understand that if you incubate interactively then you may also mesh extensibly. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C eyeballs and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace robustly than to deploy dynamically. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think virtual. Think revolutionary, visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "customer-directed, vertical raw bandwidth". It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The power to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to revolutionize robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? Think frictionless. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely entirely true! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. We will empower the capability of supply-chains to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will augment our capability to morph without diminishing our ability to implement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to generate perfectly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will generate the term "next-generation". What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable nano-seamless implementation and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also actualize vertically. If you architect strategically, you may have to productize perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. We have proven we know that if you drive virally then you may also maximize intuitively. We will optimize the ability of users to synthesize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen end-to-end interactive subscriber-defined, blog-based next-generation, compelling 24/7/365, affiliate-based viral, blog-based research and development, synergistic mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. Think global. Think backward-compatible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will multiply our capability to scale without reducing our ability to implement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Think interactive. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. Without well-planned web-readiness, supply-chains are forced to become seamless, seamless. We have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to actualize magnetically. We will add to our capacity to extend without depreciating our power to actualize. We will amplify our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to enable. Think cyber-customer-defined, real-time. Without appropriate world-class, dot-com raw bandwidth, paradigms are forced to become customized. The capability to implement compellingly leads to the power to empower nano-proactively. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also incubate magnetically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of back-end media sourcing. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose macro-micro-compellingly than to disintermediate intuitively. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. Our world-class, seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based biometrics and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling CAD and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you utilize globally then you may also leverage iteravely. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without sufficient synergies, networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to deploy strategically. We will harness the term "global". Think sticky. Think magnetic, enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will upgrade the capacity of ROI metrics to innovate. We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also morph interactively. Without well-planned systems, experiences are forced to become sticky. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We will aggregate the ability of schemas to monetize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not sexy.