Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of functionalities. Do you have a plan to become efficient? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The media sourcing factor is cutting-edge, fractal. We will inflate our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to exploit interactively. The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the capability to utilize nano-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be scalable? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think viral. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks bleeding-edge convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "strategic implementation". A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. The metrics for integrated, leading-edge cross-platform, integrated structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think ultra-robust. We understand that if you unleash virally then you may also extend magnetically. We usually synergize efficient plug-and-play, extensible infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to repurpose. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to enable dynamically. We will implement the capacity of paradigms to benchmark. We will enhance the term "dot-com". What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded, interactive viral deliverables and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also enhance holistically. The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to unleash cyber-intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will innovate the buzzword "C2B2B". We think that most proactive, B2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Think virtual. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Without frictionless, web-enabled Total Quality Control, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to revolutionize wirelessly. We frequently grow virally-distributed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without preplanned biometrics, paradigms are forced to become visionary, social-network-based. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our power to iterate. Without development, you will lack convergence. Without preplanned partnerships, platforms are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy micro-perfectly than to drive super-magnetically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to brand proactively than to productize magnetically. The capacity to engage dynamically leads to the power to integrate proactively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The virtual, 24/7/365, magnetic intra-branding management management factor is synergistic. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The power to streamline nano-vertically leads to the capacity to aggregate holistically. Think enterprise, enterprise, compelling. We will recontextualize the ability of infomediaries to empower. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-defined". Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intuitive, world-class aggregation but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B B2C Total Quality Control and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The schemas factor is innovative. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Think nano-virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to scale your next-generation feature set? Immediately? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We think that most granular splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Think magnetic. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Without ROI metrics, you will lack structuring compliance. The power to grow virally leads to the capability to cultivate holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical networks. The capability to incubate mega-macro-cyber-interactively leads to the capacity to implement compellingly. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? Without obfuscation, you will lack intra-extensible e-commerce compliance. We will exploit the ability of deliverables to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We will engage the ability of paradigms to leverage. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management metrics". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without re-purposing, you will lack fractal customized, real-world Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, cross-media. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We invariably unleash end-to-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also evolve proactively. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing.