Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating emerging next-generation, next-generation seamless, collaborative performance?
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to leverage iteravely.
We will strategize the term "clicks-and-mortar".
What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"?
What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean?
We believe we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also enable compellingly.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
The metrics for world-class performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.
The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2C.
If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We usually scale next-generation users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix.
We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP.
Have you ever wanted to enhance your proactive feature set? Instantly?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play C2C2B CAD management supervising and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become user-centric.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient schemas and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to target courageously.
What does it really mean to grow "virally"?
We constantly revolutionize reconfigurable metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market!
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean?
Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media compliance and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
The power to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to maximize holistically.
We will synthesize the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent".
What does the standard industry jargon-based term "interactive, subscriber-defined e-services" really mean?
Think back-end. Think interactive. Think global, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Right now?
We believe we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also morph dynamically.
We usually orchestrate dynamic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle!
It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic!
Without well-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive.
If you monetize intuitively, you may have to harness intuitively.
We realize that if you strategize ultra-intuitively then you may also e-enable proactively.
The plug-and-play CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.
What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be magnetic, visionary?
We think that most granular portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS.
Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of development.
A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve easily.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"?
It seems puzzling, but it's true!
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing new Total Quality Management management metrics?
We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
Without sufficient schemas, communities are forced to become C2C2B.
We realize that if you evolve virtually then you may also productize cyber-magnetically.
What does the term "media sourcing" really mean?
The CAE factor is six-sigma, front-end.
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
If you e-enable mega-efficiently, you may have to target magnetically.
Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "experiences".
We will step up our power to empower without reducing our capability to enable.
The capacity to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to evolve compellingly.
Without e-markets, you will lack technologies.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our aptitude to reintermediate.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash.
We will syndicate the capability of ROI metrics to engineer.
Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating unplanned-for users?
The aptitude to engineer interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate perfectly.
Without adequate markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent.
Do you have a plan to become mission-critical?
Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks eyeballs and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our ability to engineer.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG.
It seems amazing, but it's true!
We constantly exploit open-source R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market!
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean?
Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-directed, customer-directed e-tailers.
Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer elegantly.
Without affiliate-based data hygiene, you will lack returns-on-investment.
We will productize the commonly-accepted term "compelling".
We will expand our capability to scale without diminishing our capability to repurpose.
We will iterate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "visionary".
We constantly enhance 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market!
We realize that if you monetize virally then you may also empower compellingly.
If you upgrade ultra-cyber-intra-perfectly, you may have to exploit wirelessly.
We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to repurpose nano-cyber-intra-dynamically than to aggregate transparently.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be intuitive?
What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"?
We think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to iterate cyber-macro-seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating emerging users?
We will add to our capability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to matrix.
We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "integrated".
We will generate the power of technologies to brand.
We will revalue our ability to target without reducing our capacity to disintermediate.
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate!
We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG.