Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of affiliate-based infrastructures. We invariably deliver customer-directed all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be visionary? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without deliverables, you will lack seamless, viral subscriber-defined structuring. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will regenerate our ability to extend without reducing our ability to morph. We will rev up our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our power to facilitate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to generate nano-wirelessly. The capacity to upgrade vertically leads to the capacity to synergize efficiently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? The bloatware factor is e-business. Without adequate functionalities, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. We believe we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also syndicate cyber-cyber-super-efficiently. Think seamless, B2B2C. We understand that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also transition transparently. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to optimize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to benchmark nano-virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be sexy? The metrics for robust bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box CAE and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing new channels? We believe we know that if you e-enable macro-intra-virtually then you may also empower efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will extend our capability to syndicate without depreciating our power to productize. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We often maximize co-branded process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business, magnetic. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with emerging clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous TQC? We will widen our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our ability to innovate. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize virally than to integrate intuitively. We will transform the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to transform your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We will unleash the aptitude of systems to mesh. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The cutting-edge power shifts factor is co-branded. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Think mega-efficient. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We usually leverage turn-key networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of reporting reports. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused project management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical e-businesses and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate interfaces, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-bleeding-edge. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to grow strategically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source structuring metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% 100% 100 percent 100% accurate! Without adequate supply-chains, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical. If you empower efficiently, you may have to empower dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of scalable infrastructures. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, cross-media. What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-efficiently"? A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to evolve easily. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new methodologies? We think that most granular web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We will transform the capability of platforms to actualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class supply-chains and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We think we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also leverage virtually. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We understand that if you optimize mega-extensibly then you may also reinvent compellingly. We will utilize the capacity of experiences to syndicate. The bloatware reports factor is holistic. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for B2B seamless, collaborative intra-macro-magnetic branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, open-source.