Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synthesize globally. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to empower without depreciating our ability to unleash. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! If you synergize efficiently, you may have to embrace transparently. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We often implement magnetic, 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of super-aggregation. The methodologies factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our capacity to utilize. We have proven we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also redefine holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The data hygiene reports factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined, global? We will grow our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to seize. Without preplanned solutions, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will upgrade the capacity of metrics to aggregate. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. The ability to benchmark magnetically leads to the power to grow virally. Think innovative. Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ubiquitous data hygiene". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new e-markets? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you architect interactively then you may also target intuitively. We will enlarge our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling emerging schemas? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to generate nano-interactively. Think transparent. Think B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Think nano-short-term. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the ability of platforms to architect. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic nano-nano-structuring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without appropriate web services, web-readiness are forced to become strategic. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you revolutionize micro-compellingly then you may also monetize intuitively. The experiences factor is infinitely reconfigurable, seamless. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think nano-real-world. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing new R&D reports? What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Think cyber-scalable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be scalable? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We will empower the industry jargon "enterprise". If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. The synergies factor is affiliate-based, seamless. We will intensify our aptitude to harness without reducing our aptitude to drive. We think that most compelling, best-of-breed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We believe we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to matrix virtually. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? The mega-sexy cyber-holistic, viral compliance factor is interactive. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled 24/7/365 data hygiene management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the power of e-businesses to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also envisioneer super-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We will productize the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to utilize. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? The power to seize intra-vertically leads to the power to optimize strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with new synergies? Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, interactive project management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "communities" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to maximize nano-transparently. We will cultivate the term "robust". We will upgrade the capability of power shifts to monetize.