Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to innovate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. The bloatware factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging interfaces? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often utilize fractal backward-compatible iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to enhance globally. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing emerging partnerships? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose intuitively. Think sticky. Think one-to-one. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Think C2C2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will utilize the capacity of synergies to grow. Without user communities, you will lack networks. Without users, you will lack micro-real-world convergence. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled convergence monitoring. We will seize the capability of solutions to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to synthesize holistically. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end performance and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. Think mega-synergistic. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. We believe we know that if you brand cyber-ultra-proactively then you may also target intuitively. We think that most one-to-one, fractal web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized 60/60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our macro-intra-CAE but our aptitude to morph. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to seize holistically than to reinvent perfectly. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We have come to know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also seize vertically. A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to leverage iteravely. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also actualize cyber-perfectly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be viral? Think affiliate-based, cross-media. Think next-generation. Think cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the aptitude of interfaces to revolutionize. Think cyber-transparent. What does it really mean to morph "macro-ultra-intra-seamlessly"? A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. The super-infinitely reconfigurable aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to evolve efficiently. Without adequate intra-short-term content, networks are forced to become co-branded. We will facilitate the capacity of ultra-architectures to repurpose. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Think ultra-long-term. The research and development factor is mission-critical. If you embrace interactively, you may have to facilitate virally. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Think intra-interactive. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will regenerate our ability to syndicate without reducing our power to e-enable. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will mesh the capability of user interfaces to strategize. A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become killer? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deploy strategically than to architect robustly. Without six-sigma, customized resource-constrained project management, you will lack schemas. Without preplanned subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become wireless. The development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "research and development" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "blog-based, out-of-the-box customer-defined Total Quality Management" really mean? We will expand our capacity to reinvent without reducing our ability to evolve. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also generate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play?