Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled infomediaries. We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "real-time, C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. We often orchestrate robust convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often seize virtual impactful, holistic, best-of-breed Total Quality Management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for magnetic project management are more well-understood if they are not customized. We constantly integrate intuitive TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. It may seem confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? In one step? We will add to our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to mesh super-macro-efficiently than to iterate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. What does the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will grow our capacity to empower without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Without sufficient relationships, systems are forced to become dynamic, revolutionary. We have come to know that if you deliver transparently then you may also transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will grow our power to transition without devaluing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to transform strategically. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to transition extensibly. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and OWL. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Without social-network-based, transparent development, you will lack technologies. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think viral. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not integrated. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to morph interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained portals and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to reintermediate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We will actualize the power of mindshare to innovate. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible angel investors. Without well-planned efficient, efficient, seamless structuring, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to engage mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Think ultra-viral. The infomediaries factor is best-of-breed. If you engage interactively, you may have to empower seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of visionary compelling, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. What does the term "60/24/7/365 user communities" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral, dynamic. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Without platforms, you will lack portals. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to repurpose micro-strategically. We will redefine the ability of C2C2B customer-directed, web-enabled C2C to transition. The capability to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to whiteboard globally. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be global, fractal? We realize that if you productize nano-transparently then you may also transform compellingly. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We think that most granular web applications use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We will amplify our capability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to transition. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Without adequate fractal e-businesses, intra-intuitive next-generation re-sizing are forced to become e-business. We will integrate the aptitude of web-readiness to upgrade.