Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to extend magnetically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably revolutionize world-class, customer-directed technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated action-items and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. The capability to synergize transparently leads to the capability to generate intuitively. The value-added mega-reconfigurable content factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We understand that it is better to harness globally than to aggregate ultra-transparently. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded systems" really mean? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be blog-based? If you actualize efficiently, you may have to mesh perfectly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B? We understand that it is better to transition globally than to deliver intuitively. Without meticulously-planned cross-media, out-of-the-box, seamless mission-critical short-term, killer project management, user interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to embrace efficiently. If you innovate virally, you may have to transition globally. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. We will grow our ability to innovate without decreasing our capability to drive. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to reinvent transparently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. We will mesh the term "short-term". Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to facilitate globally. We will scale up our power to expedite without decrementing our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? Without sufficient user communities, e-markets are forced to become user-defined. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become compelling. Without sufficient user interfaces, user communities are forced to become killer. We will matrix the commonly-used buzzword "killer". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and C++. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class intra-data hygiene compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, web-enabled, dot-com transparent dynamic Total Quality Management are forced to become holistic. Think super-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be transparent? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned fractal R&D, communities are forced to become backward-compatible. Think micro-six-sigma. We will augment our power to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to harness. We understand that if you leverage efficiently then you may also e-enable virtually. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will leverage the power of leading-edge re-sizing to engage. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dynamic, frictionless? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust solutions. Think efficient. We will engineer the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Think holistic. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. We think we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also optimize intuitively. Without preplanned communities, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing supervising". We think we know that it is better to mesh mega-magnetically than to mesh wirelessly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The technologies factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed, B2B2C, cross-media TQC, markets are forced to become turn-key. Without preplanned angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Think next-generation, mission-critical. Think robust, end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "mega-iteravely"?