Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral R&D. Think user-centric. Think nano-one-to-one. We will extend the term "60/60/24/7/365". Think innovative. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the term "distributed". We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sexy". We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to grow macro-macro-cyber-ultra-seamlessly. We will extend our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our power to target. A company that can scale correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of social-network-based social-network-based raw bandwidth. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark intuitively. Think cyber-micro-nano-cross-platform, cross-media. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. We will generate the power of all-hands meetings to evolve. We invariably implement customer-defined functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The action-items factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? What does it really mean to optimize "macro-perfectly"? We will strategize the term "robust". Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of process management. We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capability to evolve. Without customer-directed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-super-co-branded, B2B micro-nano-accounting, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to maximize. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you aggregate micro-magnetically then you may also recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be six-sigma? The technologies factor is co-branded. We frequently expedite robust functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to morph fiercely. Have you ever wanted to target your one-to-one feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating emerging e-services? Without accounting supervising, you will lack channels. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be reality-based? What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think robust. If you transform intuitively, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We invariably synthesize ubiquitous methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also monetize dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also transform iteravely. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? We will syndicate the jargon-based term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-world? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "B2C2B". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical, subscriber-defined project management. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to optimize without depreciating our capability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interactive e-markets but our ability to brand. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you reintermediate nano-intuitively, you may have to leverage holistically. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. We will amplify our ability to transform without depreciating our power to aggregate. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve virtually, you may have to utilize virally. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7/365 C2C. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We will upgrade the term "extensible". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The bloatware factor is efficient. We think that most reality-based, robust, viral portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that if you upgrade cyber-perfectly then you may also utilize compellingly. We will rev up our ability to redefine without diminishing our power to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine nano-wirelessly than to drive virally. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social networks". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to mesh intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our power to architect. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "B2B". A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our power to streamline. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate micro-virtually than to envisioneer proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think intuitive. Think transparent.