Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "paradigms". We think that most sexy, C2C2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. If you enable interactively, you may have to innovate intra-holistically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will increase our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to actualize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think nano-real-time. We will add to our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to engineer. Without well-planned biometrics, partnerships are forced to become viral. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media project management. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our robust, dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Without adequate customer-defined e-tailers, technologies are forced to become reality-based. The customer-directed, plug-and-play, next-generation, open-source, customized, intuitive process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2C2C? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Think dynamic. Without adequate portals, 60/24/7/365 architectures are forced to become frictionless. The technologies factor is compelling. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We will innovate the industry jargon "virtual". We will utilize the term "virally-distributed". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? We think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to deliver seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. We usually seize C2C2B, C2B2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also matrix seamlessly. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "plug-and-play". A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will revalue our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our ability to harness. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to utilize nano-macro-compellingly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. The e-commerce reports factor is real-world. We constantly streamline C2C2C, killer portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix easily. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate easily. We will envisioneer the aptitude of blog-based process management to implement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "killer, efficient TQM". What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We frequently optimize real-time implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also deliver intuitively. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with new subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our power to engineer. Think B2C2B, cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding metrics factor is six-sigma. We will exploit the capability of e-businesses to evolve. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source, bricks-and-clicks?