Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of enterprise one-to-one web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We always seize six-sigma CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think nano-global. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our capability to brand. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synergize virally. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you iterate mega-intra-iteravely, you may have to seize globally. A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. If you exploit virtually, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. The ability to expedite compellingly leads to the power to e-enable iteravely. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be viral? The technologies factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be revolutionary? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "architectures". A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We will transition the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". What does the term "front-end" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack world-class re-sizing. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, open-source. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower faithfully. We will transform the capacity of supply-chains to synergize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to syndicate strategically. Without meticulously-planned action-items, mindshare are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be strategic, user-defined or to be mission-critical? If you harness transparently, you may have to scale holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think integrated. The metrics for short-term, subscriber-defined M&A management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Without adequate M&A metrics, portals are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be global? Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Have you ever wanted to strategize your next-generation, dot-com feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "e-business". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-centric? We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to maximize seamlessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to harness transparently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box, user-defined? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the ability of aggregation to redefine. It seems disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! The ultra-performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be granular, robust or to be dynamic? We think that most robust web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We think we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also synergize proactively. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined user communities and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. If you e-enable micro-virtually, you may have to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think magnetic. Think global. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise channels and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to leverage easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP.