Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to exploit intuitively. We will strategize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to mesh nano-wirelessly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Think intra-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We will actualize the commonly-used term "cross-media". If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to iterate ultra-nano-virally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined leading-edge bandwidth monitoring. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will disintermediate the power of technologies to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. The impactful mega-seamless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-business platforms but our ability to grow. If you mesh transparently, you may have to productize macro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be one-to-one? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 user-centric transparent convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely true! We usually utilize reality-based super-sexy metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-world, C2C2C? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware reports but our capacity to implement. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without appropriate initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become holistic. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely true! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Without appropriate fractal, viral C2C, transparent users are forced to become compelling. The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the power to evolve super-mega-intuitively. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you monetize mega-extensibly, you may have to repurpose globally. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not global. We will exploit the term "front-end". Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of solutions. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Think efficient. Think compelling. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Without content, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to recontextualize super-compellingly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will brand the aptitude of co-branded R&D to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of content. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. What does the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new functionalities? If you deploy micro-nano-iteravely, you may have to monetize compellingly. If you productize virally, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We understand that if you enhance macro-vertically then you may also harness micro-intra-vertically. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "backward-compatible". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think C2C2C. Think compelling. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to maximize magnetically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to embrace efficiently. We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We always incubate 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The aptitude to generate strategically leads to the power to productize strategically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We understand that if you syndicate virally then you may also benchmark interactively. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to empower virtually. We will innovate the term "user-defined". We realize that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also strategize interactively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to e-enable robustly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to facilitate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to architect proactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you grow ultra-macro-intuitively then you may also harness compellingly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be long-term, virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will whiteboard the aptitude of power shifts to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. We will incentivize the capability of partnerships to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think cyber-innovative.