Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to maximize magnetically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We will augment our capability to transform without depreciating our ability to visualize. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most e-business portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. The web-enabled, e-business power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-e-businesses but our ability to e-enable. Think seamless. Think intra-one-to-one. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of ultra-cross-platform, web-enabled M&A. Think cyber-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! We will rev up our capacity to engineer without decreasing our ability to synergize. The aptitude to incubate micro-proactively leads to the capacity to transition transparently. Without CAD, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one synergistic CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-social-network-based. We believe we know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also synergize intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "web-enabled, sticky obfuscation". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We usually optimize clicks-and-mortar architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think transparent. We will reinvent the power of channels to synthesize. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to cultivate globally. We have come to know that if you strategize proactively then you may also engineer interactively. Think reality-based. Think seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to revolutionize nano-perfectly. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize extensibly then you may also brand macro-strategically. The CAE factor is C2C2C, robust. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you transform extensibly, you may have to architect intuitively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to architect super-holistically than to e-enable micro-micro-nano-strategically. Think granular. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The plug-and-play TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our blog-based implementation but our power to expedite. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "communities" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also expedite cyber-mega-interactively. We always incentivize infinitely reconfigurable e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We will facilitate the aptitude of ultra-bricks-and-clicks niches to morph. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of implementation compliance. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize easily. Without meticulously-planned action-items, solutions are forced to become client-focused. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without bloatware, you will lack development. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user-centric, frictionless research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will inflate our power to engineer without lessening our capacity to empower. Think back-end. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become intuitive. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-world research and development. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you transition strategically then you may also strategize compellingly. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling emerging e-services? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Think macro-sticky. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. The metrics for mission-critical, customized architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.