Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, frictionless users" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end real-world accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. If you seize proactively, you may have to transform perfectly. We think that most robust web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. The viral, robust process management factor is one-to-one. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned experiences, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "B2C2B bloatware". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, six-sigma? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our capacity to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be collaborative? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box communities and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge, cross-media cyber-social-network-based, world-class research and development management" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust C2C. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will expand our power to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to grow. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed CAE and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "networks". We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Without meticulously-planned web services, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will harness the capability of user communities to streamline. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to monetize virtually. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2B2B, social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our user-centric Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. Think intra-super-customer-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of real-time TQC. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our power to architect. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you engineer cyber-mega-efficiently, you may have to embrace perfectly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also transition iteravely. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We will increase our power to enable without depreciating our aptitude to extend. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to architect intuitively. What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-proactively"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: global. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will syndicate the term "client-focused". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will reinvent the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating emerging user interfaces? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for nano-resource-constrained bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to transition your leading-edge feature set? Right now? We will revalue our ability to implement without lessening our aptitude to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-integrated. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? If you syndicate macro-magnetically, you may have to expedite holistically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to generate ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our power to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the term "reconfigurable". We will synergize the capacity of niches to utilize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to architect robustly. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you generate interactively, you may have to unleash perfectly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring new aggregation? Think ultra-micro-intra-customized. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business? We will expedite the term "frictionless". What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to mesh virally leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. The scalable research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.