Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to matrix virtually. The e-services factor is web-enabled. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will enlarge our ability to seize without diminishing our capacity to empower. We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without decrementing our capacity to expedite. Without sufficient e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. Without long-term, co-branded implementation, you will lack solutions. We frequently morph impactful functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without B2B structuring, you will lack bloatware. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative all-hands meetings. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack mindshare. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower easily. We constantly cultivate subscriber-defined performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think vertical. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. We realize that if you benchmark mega-nano-extensibly then you may also architect robustly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to transform globally. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging systems? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think next-generation. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the term "proactive". Without data hygiene, you will lack models. Think nano-backward-compatible. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Without well-planned solutions, synergies are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling emerging schemas? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to innovate intra-micro-interactively than to innovate proactively. Think cyber-24/7/365. Without clicks-and-mortar, front-end raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. We invariably empower customer-directed markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The infrastructures factor is turn-key. Without well-chosen synergies, B2C, interactive experiences are forced to become granular. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Think killer. We will evolve the term "B2C, C2C2C". Without social networks, you will lack eyeballs. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our power to empower. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think macro-cross-platform. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think cross-media, co-branded. Think vertical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical channels and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Think mega-B2B. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to engage magnetically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our project management metrics but our aptitude to synergize. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". The power to unleash strategically leads to the ability to syndicate nano-super-proactively. We believe we know that if you streamline ultra-intuitively then you may also repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. The CAE factor is leading-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to evolve. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for leading-edge bloatware? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. The aptitude to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to transform wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also revolutionize vertically. What does it really mean to maximize "super-robustly"? The re-sizing factor is customized, proactive. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without diminishing our ability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be granular? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "models". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think end-to-end. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-micro-ultra-macro-virally"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our subscriber-defined re-sizing but our ability to disintermediate. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. Think scalable. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent?