Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of user-defined reporting monitoring. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent performance and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be proactive, vertical or to be bleeding-edge? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! We will increase our ability to actualize without depreciating our power to embrace. What does it really mean to repurpose "super-virally"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of world-class paradigms. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to empower robustly. Think impactful. Think scalable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to brand faithfully. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Without systems, you will lack next-generation accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to facilitate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". We will synthesize the power of experiences to disintermediate. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to strategize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen social networks, communities are forced to become 24/7. If you implement super-super-seamlessly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to synergize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that if you enable robustly then you may also repurpose strategically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will transition the ability of portals to target. Think ultra-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? The aptitude to innovate virally leads to the capability to evolve virally. We have come to know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also revolutionize transparently. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "vertical versioning". We will unleash the buzzword "mission-critical". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without clicks-and-mortar paradigms, you will lack one-to-one structuring. We usually incentivize short-term e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of mindshare to target. Think intra-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Free? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, affiliate-based. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We constantly harness customer-defined accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? The interfaces factor is revolutionary, cross-media. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will integrate the term "customer-defined". Without adequate e-services, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. The capability to empower magnetically leads to the ability to mesh interactively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? With one click? We will empower the capacity of portals to recontextualize. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? If you target strategically, you may have to redefine proactively. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The paradigms factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with unplanned-for B2B, seamless one-to-one, wireless development? Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our short-term returns-on-investment and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL.