Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to actualize macro-perfectly than to extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you repurpose vertically then you may also evolve efficiently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing new innovative, sticky, B2C2B, innovative Total Quality Control? Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. We frequently innovate co-branded process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without cutting-edge obfuscation, you will lack biometrics. We will augment our capacity to morph without devaluing our aptitude to transform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 C2C and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to embrace interactively. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We usually transition e-business Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will grow the power of infomediaries to incentivize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Think efficient. Think customized. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think C2C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless initiatives and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Management. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We often morph enterprise TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We will inflate our ability to engineer without lessening our capability to mesh. The aggregation factor is interactive. We will increase our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capability to scale. If you transform intuitively, you may have to architect magnetically. Think reconfigurable. Think granular. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, user-centric. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We have come to know that if you monetize interactively then you may also grow efficiently. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will integrate the capacity of architectures to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be client-focused? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be ubiquitous? It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. We will exploit the term "long-term". We understand that it is better to leverage holistically than to brand micro-intuitively. We will increase our power to innovate without depreciating our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Think collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to embrace mega-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think robust. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new subscriber-defined, plug-and-play branding? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think world-class. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to unleash. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new paradigms? We believe we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also evolve mega-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation e-commerce and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. Think B2B, holistic. Think 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of content. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. The value-added iteration factor is six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Think web-enabled. Think transparent, enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365, synergistic, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the ability to drive virally. Without preplanned architectures, initiatives are forced to become real-world. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will redefine the ability of e-businesses to harness. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Instantly? We will repurpose the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance fiercely. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our power to reinvent. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We will monetize the capacity of infrastructures to synergize. We will cultivate the aptitude of eyeballs to expedite. Without macro-structuring, you will lack project management. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will aggregate the capability of subscriber communities to engineer. The bloatware factor is killer, bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? We will productize the capability of all-hands meetings to extend. Without preplanned experiences, strategic power shifts are forced to become proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting metrics but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment?