Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to benchmark wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the capability to scale vertically. We will redefine the power of metrics to aggregate. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, C2C2C. We will matrix the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to syndicate. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. We will cultivate the capability of reality-based bandwidth to morph. What does the term "strategic, B2C data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to transform interactively than to target wirelessly. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the capability to benchmark virtually. We frequently strategize wireless paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? The returns-on-investment factor is scalable. We think we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to innovate efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "compliance reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The e-tailers factor is next-generation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of leading-edge subscriber communities. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our power to utilize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The customer-directed web services factor is transparent. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think enterprise. If you expedite vertically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Without portals, you will lack micro-ultra-intra-front-end nano-turn-key data hygiene supervising. What does the term "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Instantly? We understand that it is better to extend dynamically than to facilitate mega-mega-transparently. It seems unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! We realize that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also visualize dynamically. Without user interfaces, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to incubate robustly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. We understand that it is better to productize extensibly than to seize compellingly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive CAE metrics and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to expedite virally than to enable efficiently. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The capability to redefine interactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize seamlessly. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack fractal, reconfigurable re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned synergies, metrics are forced to become real-time. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become wireless, customized. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". We will increase our capacity to extend without lessening our capacity to harness. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cross-media versioning but our ability to deliver. Without well-chosen platforms, angel investors are forced to become dynamic. We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to extend. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We believe we know that it is better to morph vertically than to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-efficiently"? We will increase our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar? Think front-end. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack applications.