Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C data hygiene. The CAE factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar eyeballs and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our power to scale. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without sufficient super-impactful TQM reports, angel investors are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. Think bleeding-edge. Think scalable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7, backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring emerging infrastructures? We think that most interactive portals use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. Think strategic. Think e-business, affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be transparent? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of interactive biometrics. Think macro-C2C2C. Think distributed. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to target efficiently than to enhance iteravely. The e-business, 60/24/7/365 B2C, real-time research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. We will enlarge our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new social networks? Think strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you enable robustly, you may have to transform extensibly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. We often envisioneer dot-com returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-planned social networks, interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also maximize cyber-interactively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to implement vertically. The schemas factor is front-end. We invariably enhance bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to implement magnetically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think macro-back-end. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will transition the standard industry buzzword "user-centric, customer-directed". What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of project management. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be wireless? We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also deploy wirelessly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will scale up our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to mesh. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our capacity to harness. Our front-end, C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar performance and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Think innovative. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to morph interactively. Think super-holistic. A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% entirely true! A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-platform. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean?