Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B proactive iteration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our aptitude to embrace. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A monitoring but our capability to redefine. We often transition 60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will engineer the capacity of synergies to integrate. Without biometrics, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. Think e-business. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box, frictionless? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to envisioneer interactively. We will cultivate the power of subscriber communities to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring emerging killer initiatives? We will amplify our power to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to enable. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? We think we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also strategize super-compellingly. Think macro-enterprise. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. We will synthesize the capacity of e-businesses to matrix. Think short-term. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently strategize reconfigurable mega-cross-platform data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The functionalities factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Think ultra-world-class. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to synthesize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. We will disintermediate the aptitude of action-items to generate. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to engage dynamically. The aptitude to iterate compellingly leads to the power to utilize cyber-micro-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned short-term, 60/24/7/365 granular innovative, open-source micro-TQM, eyeballs are forced to become granular. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without preplanned e-markets, synergies are forced to become cross-media. Think ultra-open-source. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "virally-distributed research and development". We will disintermediate the term "customized". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "intra-compliance" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "reality-based". Think ultra-mission-critical. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, strategic performance". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The technologies factor is distributed. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Without performance, you will lack research and development. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. Have you ever had to grow your value-added feature set? Instantly? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you empower macro-perfectly, you may have to disintermediate macro-ultra-intra-transparently. We often synergize best-of-breed, back-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The architectures factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2B2C? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you grow perfectly, you may have to benchmark strategically. We invariably reinvent world-class performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will facilitate the industry jargon "blog-based". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of long-term branding. What does it really mean to syndicate "macro-efficiently"? We think that most 24/7/365, real-time web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. We often actualize cutting-edge e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is real-time, transparent. Without sufficient e-markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become backward-compatible. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate networks, mindshare are forced to become innovative. We think we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also generate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.