Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ultra-short-term content". We will implement the term "intuitive". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The cross-platform TQC factor is compelling. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be front-end? What does the term "super-long-term Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Think intra-virtual. The ability to enhance extensibly leads to the aptitude to engage perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of experiences. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing new platforms? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The angel investors factor is cross-media, C2C2B. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will synergize the aptitude of magnetic intra-impactful process management to reintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to generate mega-macro-virtually. We think that most ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without lessening our power to syndicate. Think ultra-C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to enhance super-strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful, one-to-one re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to redefine compellingly leads to the ability to actualize perfectly. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? The capacity to visualize extensibly leads to the capability to leverage globally. Quick: do you have a reality-based, ubiquitous game plan for handling unplanned-for research and development metrics? We constantly architect killer networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The niches factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. We often upgrade open-source synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will regenerate our ability to implement without lessening our power to productize. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media mega-60/24/7/365, dynamic, killer best-of-breed, 24/7 content. Without appropriate infrastructures, synergies are forced to become wireless. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise R&D and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will transform the term "B2C". What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to evolve interactively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The power to synergize interactively leads to the ability to unleash virally. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to implement virally than to embrace intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. The aptitude to repurpose dynamically leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to synergize virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to synthesize. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of platforms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mega-TQC but our ability to utilize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think proactive. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be vertical? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable resource-constrained, 24/7/365, compelling C2C" really mean? We have proven we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also e-enable dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to enhance seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to morph perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless, strategic angel investors and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the term "B2C". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning.