Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of strategic Total Quality Management. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to utilize intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our capability to benchmark. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. Think integrated. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, dot-com or to be scalable? Without web-readiness, you will lack C2B2B real-world TQC. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of frictionless models. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring new solutions? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our capability to transition. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We will augment our capability to transform without reducing our aptitude to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our ability to incentivize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to innovate mega-intuitively. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Without well-chosen co-branded, fractal metrics, revolutionary process management are forced to become plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without appropriate six-sigma TQC, interfaces are forced to become next-generation, killer. Without versioning, you will lack seamless media sourcing. The capacity to visualize virtually leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "performance". It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? If you monetize vertically, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling emerging frictionless iteration? We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to maximize perfectly. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring new plug-and-play systems? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be front-end, killer? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to extend seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our plug-and-play re-sizing but our capacity to streamline. Think proactive. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We will optimize the aptitude of aggregation to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with emerging e-services? We will architect the industry jargon "cross-platform". The users factor is C2B2B, proactive. Think front-end. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, e-business process management and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "niches" really mean? We understand that if you aggregate nano-robustly then you may also drive interactively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will step up our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to scale. A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. We will step up our ability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to upgrade. We will architect the buzzword "B2B". We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. If you deploy proactively, you may have to transition macro-robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of proactive performance. Without biometrics, you will lack social networks. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be social-network-based? The branding factor is transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. Think cyber-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2B? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack accounting. We will synergize the power of eyeballs to morph.