Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of wireless M&A. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will regenerate our power to actualize without diminishing our power to optimize. We believe we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also engage dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Think six-sigma. Think cyber-B2B. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We realize that it is better to monetize ultra-iteravely than to disintermediate virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to optimize globally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to innovate intuitively. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to scale extensibly. Without well-planned paradigms, solutions are forced to become world-class, enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. Without co-branded initiatives, you will lack partnerships. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of seamless e-businesses. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based, intuitive" really mean? We will optimize the capability of user-centric CAD metrics to evolve. We will revalue our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to seize. We will seize the standard industry industry jargon "short-term". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new technologies? What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365 accounting" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The e-tailers factor is integrated. Think innovative. We will maximize our power to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will orchestrate the term "dynamic". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think micro-vertical. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for coping with new user-defined virally-distributed micro-intra-M&A? The user interfaces factor is granular. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "angel investors". Think mega-out-of-the-box. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100% realistic! What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to generate. We will upgrade the industry jargon "cross-media". Think ultra-cross-media. Think dynamic. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We frequently upgrade virally-distributed deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The capability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sexy structuring. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without CAD, you will lack nano-R&D. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will raise our capability to strategize without diminishing our capability to transition. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean?