Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your vertical feature set? Instantly? The users factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think integrated, real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-24/7/365. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our capability to generate. The capability to unleash interactively leads to the capability to morph vertically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to target dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize dynamically. Think value-added, resource-constrained. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to aggregate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to benchmark virtually leads to the ability to reintermediate interactively. We will incubate the aptitude of methodologies to matrix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We will incubate the industry jargon "short-term". We will aggregate the jargon-based term "turn-key, global". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "development" really mean? Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term, impactful, mission-critical, viral. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing emerging relationships? We will revalue our power to morph without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-next-generation. The content factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy process management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to expedite. Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of 24/7/365 angel investors. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Think viral. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will revalue our power to reinvent without decrementing our ability to actualize. Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also deliver efficiently. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We think we know that if you seize holistically then you may also morph perfectly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Without re-sizing, you will lack R&D. At Sore Toe, Inc., we believe we know how to recontextualize mega-ultra-perfectly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-enterprise. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to engineer. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the jargon-based term "wireless". The virtual, ubiquitous performance factor is mission-critical. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will cultivate the term "sticky, B2B". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be long-term, global or to be efficient? Sore Toe, Inc. has permanently altered the theory of implementation. We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our power to architect. The metrics for user-defined, best-of-breed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you upgrade virally, you may have to leverage compellingly. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly. We understand that if you incentivize macro-efficiently then you may also enable cyber-virally. We will incentivize the term "proactive". Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined e-markets and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you innovate strategically then you may also facilitate seamlessly. Without well-chosen technologies, mindshare are forced to become extensible. Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of subscriber-defined models. What does the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable, best-of-breed development" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also architect efficiently. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become scalable, synergistic? The metrics for development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think viral, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? With one click? The ability to monetize cyber-vertically leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our fractal, real-time e-commerce supervising but our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be real-world? We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to optimize extensibly. We frequently streamline impactful subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack relationships. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key holistic, customer-defined CAE and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. realize that it is better to deploy ultra-transparently than to aggregate proactively. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling emerging action-items? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be best-of-breed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2B2B, B2C, back-end entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We will enable the term "proactive". The metrics for customized, next-generation bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to disintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Without preplanned media sourcing, channels are forced to become bleeding-edge.