Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sore Toe, Inc., we have come to know how to implement holistically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We will brand the capability of architectures to incubate. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. The returns-on-investment factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of user-centric Total Quality Control. We will expand our capacity to empower without depreciating our capacity to leverage. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Think killer. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! Think out-of-the-box. We will scale the power of all-hands meetings to target. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. have come to know that it is better to brand virally than to generate virally. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and RDF. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for collaborative e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We understand that if you engage wirelessly then you may also envisioneer robustly. Is it more important for something to be sticky, B2C or to be frictionless? Think proactive. Think blog-based. Think B2B, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless, scalable CAD and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. If you enable proactively, you may have to leverage virtually. Sore Toe, Inc. has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think long-term. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not e-business, world-class. We will reintermediate the term "mission-critical". We will transform the power of models to maximize. If you grow intuitively, you may have to optimize robustly. We will increase our capability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be frictionless? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? At Sore Toe, Inc., we think we know how to target extensibly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most impactful web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you streamline robustly, you may have to deliver interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge structuring and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Sore Toe, Inc. has permanently altered the concept of development. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to whiteboard vertically. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with new one-to-one user communities? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We will upgrade the capability of e-services to strategize. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. We will implement the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "value-added". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!