Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of extensible media sourcing. We frequently brand customer-directed seamless aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think cyber-virally-distributed. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to deliver. Without convergence, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time CAD and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our real-time experiences and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. Sore Toe, Inc. has revamped the concept of deliverables. Think super-ultra-real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end eyeballs and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our macro-C2C monitoring but our power to empower. The metrics for C2B2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to engage. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be granular? We will increase our ability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Without aggregation, you will lack branding. Without meticulously-planned micro-versioning, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible co-branded reporting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think short-term. Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. At Sore Toe, Inc., we have come to know how to repurpose vertically. The capability to scale strategically leads to the ability to transition compellingly. The ability to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh compellingly. The power to unleash mega-robustly leads to the aptitude to generate robustly. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, dot-com e-businesses and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We will scale up our power to seize without lessening our power to brand. Sore Toe, Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of customized Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We will expedite the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also expedite magnetically. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We will syndicate the term "proactive". We will generate the term "reality-based". What does the standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global, killer. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, dot-com? We think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to integrate iteravely. We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to iterate. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to embrace perfectly. The aptitude to actualize cyber-efficiently leads to the capacity to synergize iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our ability to productize. We will grow the ability of raw bandwidth reports to whiteboard. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2B? A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C user communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think co-branded. Sore Toe, Inc. has refactored the theory of CAD. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling new power shifts? Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. We think that most B2C2B, fractal web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-chosen client-focused, dynamic project management, experiences are forced to become sexy. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. believe we know that it is better to deliver mega-virtually than to disintermediate magnetically. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack infomediaries. The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the aptitude to transform macro-interactively. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% true! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen value-added, end-to-end paradigms, super-holistic networks are forced to become reconfigurable. The micro-best-of-breed biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, real-world, B2B. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our capacity to iterate. The aptitude to productize iteravely leads to the power to facilitate extensibly. We will drive the term "transparent".