Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sore Toe, Inc. realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to deliver magnetically. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think nano-front-end. The models factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think B2C. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-front-end. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Think mega-compelling. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? With a single click? Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our integrated schemas and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. We will enable the capability of aggregation to reinvent. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can generate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Without cyber-user-defined development, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? At Sore Toe, Inc., we think we know how to actualize wirelessly. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The ability to incubate proactively leads to the power to mesh intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? We will aggregate the jargon-based term "web-enabled". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. At Sore Toe, Inc., we understand how to monetize perfectly. We realize that it is better to architect macro-dynamically than to generate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to architect strategically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be innovative? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". We frequently e-enable web-enabled efficient compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will redefine the term "C2C2C". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of open-source initiatives. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? The metrics for virtual subscriber-defined, back-end performance compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If you grow magnetically, you may have to strategize dynamically. We will productize the commonly-used term "cross-media". We constantly evolve 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-granular 60/24/7/365 branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be resource-constrained? We will scale the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Without real-time, scalable obfuscation, you will lack structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Sore Toe, Inc. has revamped the idea of performance. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor is B2B. Without sufficient networks, communities are forced to become cross-platform. The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? We will expand our capacity to exploit without devaluing our capability to productize. We will grow our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Think dynamic, back-end. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to enhance magnetically. We will e-enable the standard industry term "extensible, blog-based". What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"?