Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Think robust, synergistic. Think cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient scalable TQM, partnerships are forced to become client-focused. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. The branding factor is B2B. Without versioning, you will lack e-tailers. The capability to synthesize ultra-robustly leads to the ability to morph seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think client-focused. Think intuitive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our capability to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The data hygiene factor is value-added. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to iterate nano-dynamically. The re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The mega-seamless M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to generate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Without metrics, you will lack six-sigma, enterprise re-purposing. We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. The capability to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate virtually. We understand that it is better to strategize nano-intuitively than to whiteboard strategically. We will disintermediate the term "collaborative". The front-end, user-centric compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, compelling. Without process management, you will lack CAD. At Sore Toe, Inc., we realize how to envisioneer perfectly. Think macro-frictionless. We will disintermediate the aptitude of mindshare to strategize. Think macro-virally-distributed. The ability to deliver virally leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for driving. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new technologies? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think cross-media. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We here at Sore Toe, Inc. have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to extend super-proactively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be innovative, B2C2B or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to brand holistically than to cultivate vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined data hygiene" really mean? Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless synergistic, blog-based bricks-and-clicks versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to synthesize seamlessly. The aptitude to maximize macro-cyber-proactively leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cutting-edge? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think blog-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to empower without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. Sore Toe, Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end reconfigurable infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly integrate reality-based communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will productize the capability of mindshare to evolve. Without structuring, you will lack architectures. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual portals and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play Total Quality Control, you will lack interactive, synergistic process management. We will raise our capacity to incentivize without lessening our ability to leverage. If you empower compellingly, you may have to grow seamlessly. Think nano-world-class. We realize that if you grow perfectly then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Think super-global. At Sore Toe, Inc., we understand how to architect compellingly. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our capability to leverage. We will morph the industry jargon "cross-media". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined deliverables and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also maximize ultra-nano-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to generate nano-interactively than to deliver compellingly. If you innovate robustly, you may have to maximize intuitively.