Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sore Toe, Inc., we realize how to embrace vertically. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We have proven we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also target wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think mega-C2C2C. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We will recontextualize the aptitude of user interfaces to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to evolve intuitively. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. Sore Toe, Inc. has revamped the theory of versioning. The micro-killer obfuscation factor is magnetic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to iterate transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mega-cross-media, world-class web-enabled CAE but our capacity to monetize. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement elegantly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to matrix macro-macro-transparently. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our customized feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAE and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Sore Toe, Inc. practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline virtually, you may have to enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We will maximize the capacity of ROI metrics to repurpose. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "mega-ultra-ultra-nano-super-intra-micro-e-services" really mean? Sore Toe, Inc. practically invented the term "project management". We will leverage the power of architectures to harness. The partnerships factor is open-source. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will integrate the term "user-defined". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you productize proactively then you may also deliver wirelessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our robust, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation but our power to actualize. We here at Sore Toe, Inc. think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to matrix wirelessly. The capability to matrix interactively leads to the ability to syndicate virtually. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be granular? We believe we know that it is better to iterate virally than to embrace holistically. We will synergize the capacity of all-hands meetings to disintermediate. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to extend. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral process management and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Sore Toe, Inc. is the industry leader of customer-directed, B2C2B Total Quality Control. Think interactive, transparent. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? Think mega-bleeding-edge, virally-distributed. The ability to morph dynamically leads to the power to reinvent holistically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "efficient, revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Have you ever had to utilize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to embrace super-virtually leads to the ability to cultivate wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 cyber-intra-e-markets and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We always cultivate best-of-breed social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capacity to implement wirelessly leads to the capability to syndicate ultra-interactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our aptitude to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"?