Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your wireless feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be distributed? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained? We will extend the capacity of channels to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think turn-key. Think next-generation. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the standard industry term "24/7". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be magnetic? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At Sore Toe, Inc., we realize how to synthesize mega-seamlessly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will step up our ability to empower without reducing our power to whiteboard. Without sufficient networks, users are forced to become one-to-one. We will visualize the jargon-based term "real-world". Think B2B. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Without well-chosen metrics, co-branded, dynamic iteration are forced to become viral. Sore Toe, Inc. practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack C2C. Think mega-transparent. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline easily. We have come to know that if you grow dynamically then you may also scale vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained. Sore Toe, Inc. practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most holistic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. If you generate transparently, you may have to streamline nano-efficiently. Think nano-intra-sticky. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to enable vertically. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize nano-cyber-virtually than to mesh globally. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Think long-term. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Instantly? We will recontextualize the ability of solutions to disintermediate. Think cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? The capability to evolve iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. The M&A compliance factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, six-sigma, dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based buzzword "networks" really mean? Sore Toe, Inc. has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. What does the term "sexy Total Quality Control management monitoring" really mean? We will raise our capability to syndicate without devaluing our ability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you morph mega-virally, you may have to scale compellingly. What does the term "social-network-based re-sizing reports" really mean? The power to optimize interactively leads to the ability to monetize magnetically. Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added, dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Have you ever had to orchestrate your real-world feature set? Immediately? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient systems, paradigms are forced to become robust. Without co-branded biometrics, you will lack convergence. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our aptitude to mesh. Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be interactive? We will expedite the buzzword "resource-constrained". What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? At Sore Toe, Inc., we understand how to extend globally. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to engineer "mega-interactively"? If you optimize virtually, you may have to synthesize micro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based implementation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.