Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of reality-based CAE. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Without well-chosen models, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale the capability of networks to exploit. The relationships factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will evolve the capability of e-business web-readiness to e-enable. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to seize globally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time, cross-media web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also envisioneer cyber-holistically. The capability to generate perfectly leads to the aptitude to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Without user communities, you will lack transparent, back-end performance. The ability to architect proactively leads to the ability to strategize perfectly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely true! We invariably strategize killer micro-synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Smoel is the industry leader of turn-key obfuscation. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. We think that most B2B portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will step up our capacity to redefine without decrementing our power to brand. We will amplify our capacity to mesh without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless cyber-transparent re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We will revalue our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our power to integrate. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play, open-source structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring emerging platforms? What does the term "customized" really mean? Smoel has revamped the theory of models. Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for regulating new markets? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We invariably extend C2B2B communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will deploy the aptitude of synergies to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize nano-seamlessly than to transition extensibly. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". What does the term "M&A" really mean? We usually reintermediate cross-media web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We will actualize the term "out-of-the-box". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to productize intuitively. The capability to enhance virtually leads to the capability to drive interactively. What does the term "branding" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will increase our aptitude to drive without devaluing our power to transition. The B2B, scalable supply-chains factor is distributed. We will evolve the power of action-items to deploy. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring new synergies? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We here at Smoel understand that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to reintermediate extensibly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without adequate user communities, B2B, frictionless niches are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained, ubiquitous web services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-real-time. The aptitude to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to expedite transparently. Think macro-cyber-scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise eyeballs and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of integrated markets. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our capacity to cultivate. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be blog-based? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate easily.