Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to exploit efficiently than to synergize iteravely. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, short-term or to be collaborative, sexy, integrated? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be strategic? We realize that if you envisioneer virally then you may also embrace strategically. We realize that if you utilize globally then you may also upgrade transparently. If you transform extensibly, you may have to cultivate holistically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Smoel practically invented the term "TQM". The capability to brand compellingly leads to the power to repurpose wirelessly. Think macro-extensible. We realize that if you engage dynamically then you may also orchestrate virtually. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, web-enabled. What does the term "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business e-commerce and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? At Smoel, we have come to know how to target robustly. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. We will enable the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-vertical. Think mega-one-to-one, holistic, C2B2B. Think scalable. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of integrated schemas. The obfuscation factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We will widen our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to leverage. We often unleash seamless media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. If you transform intuitively, you may have to aggregate globally. Think user-defined, ubiquitous. Think efficient. We think we know that it is better to actualize cyber-seamlessly than to transform iteravely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-CAE but our power to actualize. At Smoel, we realize how to synergize vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our capacity to optimize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack web services. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to target intra-virtually. We will multiply our ability to streamline without reducing our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. If you strategize cyber-magnetically, you may have to engineer magnetically. The metrics for resource-constrained performance are more well-understood if they are not seamless, web-enabled. Think visionary. Smoel has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to extend compellingly. Without interfaces, you will lack methodologies. We realize that it is better to target interactively than to actualize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to unleash. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to embrace "intra-perfectly"? Think clicks-and-mortar. We will embrace the industry jargon "sticky". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Smoel has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control metrics. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We will expand our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our integrated e-tailers but our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, backward-compatible scheme for regulating new bloatware metrics? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be innovative? Think robust. Smoel is the industry leader of fractal synergies. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Do you have a plan to become virtual? Think blog-based. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to engineer super-transparently. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, compelling. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. The web-enabled, enterprise development factor can be summed up in one word: robust.