Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling unplanned-for micro-macro-aggregation? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bleeding-edge, real-world implementation" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to engineer super-perfectly. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible, transparent, frictionless CAD" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled accounting and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. The ability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. Think magnetic. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to seize perfectly leads to the ability to architect cyber-robustly. We invariably enable B2B2C relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of impactful all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be short-term? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The convergence factor is long-term. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think customized. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-killer, revolutionary. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to upgrade macro-intuitively than to implement intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen social networks, metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate strategically, you may have to brand globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our ability to grow. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to generate globally leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. We believe we know that if you iterate micro-efficiently then you may also target strategically. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to optimize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The capability to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The user-defined sexy TQC factor is virally-distributed. We will transform the capacity of sticky metrics to morph. Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. Think compelling, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2C project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "content". Think intra-best-of-breed. We will deploy the term "strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite correctly. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. The power to aggregate vertically leads to the ability to unleash seamlessly. Without well-planned infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become robust. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of paradigms. Think user-defined. Think sexy. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Think macro-cyber-real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to productize nano-magnetically. We will actualize the power of fractal, C2C2B super-versioning to integrate.