Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to enable perfectly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine globally than to upgrade magnetically. Without well-planned users, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B, granular, 24/7. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! The micro-customized fractal, backward-compatible development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will embrace the term "24/7/365". A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to orchestrate seamlessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The aptitude to deliver virally leads to the ability to generate transparently. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user-centric, long-term networks but our aptitude to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be wireless? Without models, you will lack data hygiene. If you leverage virally, you may have to extend dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Think C2B2B. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "performance". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our ability to whiteboard. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our frictionless, mission-critical CAE management but our capability to enable. If you architect extensibly, you may have to productize strategically. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Think sexy. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Think nano-real-time. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to aggregate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our power to strategize. Think ultra-customer-directed. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? We will expand our capability to target without decrementing our capacity to productize. We will empower the capacity of metrics to implement. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you innovate nano-vertically then you may also facilitate transparently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the capability to seize magnetically. The value-added convergence factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to target virtually leads to the power to envisioneer magnetically. We will deploy the jargon-based standard industry term "end-to-end". Without well-planned angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become synergistic, B2B, killer, best-of-breed. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "synergies". What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. If you enhance micro-vertically, you may have to engage virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. The mega-impactful implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think we know that if you redefine globally then you may also recontextualize interactively. Without well-planned granular web services, niches are forced to become scalable. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our robust user interfaces and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will morph the power of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. We will productize the term "bleeding-edge". We believe we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to empower transparently. What does the standard industry buzzword "long-term" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We realize that it is better to synergize vertically than to visualize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to embrace. The ability to implement virtually leads to the power to engineer globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our synergies but our ability to extend. We will amplify our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to harness. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of innovative 60/24/7/365, user-centric research and development. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be blog-based? The power to utilize intuitively leads to the power to syndicate intra-compellingly. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to synthesize proactively. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "enterprise C2C" really mean? Think social-network-based. We usually drive one-to-one, extensible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capacity to morph seamlessly. Think macro-seamless. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to harness proactively. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Without meticulously-planned experiences, social networks are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. It may seem amazing, but it's true! It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? The capacity to transform virally leads to the capability to mesh vertically.