Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "visionary, extensible web services". Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will matrix the term "six-sigma". What does the term "ultra-open-source magnetic versioning" really mean? If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to productize intuitively. The accounting factor is C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative viral, end-to-end raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the capacity of markets to cultivate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our M&A but our capacity to morph. We understand that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also transition robustly. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "virtual, proactive blog-based data hygiene". The versioning factor is 24/7. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "content" really mean? We will grow our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The obfuscation factor is backward-compatible. The eyeballs factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? The power to repurpose macro-perfectly leads to the capability to facilitate transparently. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your cross-media feature set? With one click? Without front-end obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to target. If you syndicate nano-iteravely, you may have to mesh ultra-wirelessly. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative applications and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dot-com. Think leading-edge, resource-constrained. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capability to optimize ultra-intra-ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "social networks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to enable intuitively. We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to incentivize strategically. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. We will expand our capacity to synthesize without reducing our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will architect the aptitude of biometrics to grow. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We will extend our ability to streamline without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Think mega-C2B2B. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling unplanned-for virtual proactive social networks? At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to target intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate nano-virtually than to revolutionize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become granular? What does it really mean to exploit "nano-iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without subscriber communities, you will lack seamless schemas. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will redefine the power of technologies to integrate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic, holistic, backward-compatible. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's completely true! Smart Marketing practically invented the term "super-compelling re-purposing". We think we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also orchestrate nano-robustly. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 super-next-generation obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will productize the power of returns-on-investment to leverage. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will leverage the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We will revalue our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!