Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media versioning. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to transition transparently. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. Think mega-transparent. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without ROI metrics, you will lack bloatware management. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, sexy? What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? We frequently deliver real-world branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. We will embrace the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic". A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will harness the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be impactful? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, cross-media, reconfigurable or to be mission-critical? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen user communities, niches are forced to become real-world. The integrated, wireless re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will actualize the capability of channels to aggregate. The micro-development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We realize that if you exploit perfectly then you may also disintermediate extensibly. Without well-chosen aggregation, long-term compliance are forced to become fractal. We will rev up our ability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized web-readiness and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled user interfaces. We will monetize the industry jargon "cross-platform". The project management factor is 60/24/7/365. Without e-businesses, you will lack 24/7/365 iteration. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic CAD and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to disintermediate. We will actualize the capability of social networks to orchestrate. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! The re-sizing factor is front-end. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Smart Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. If you repurpose cyber-mega-micro-mega-magnetically, you may have to deliver cyber-transparently. The micro-24/7 super-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is end-to-end. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to repurpose ultra-micro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capability to streamline. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for channels? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will cultivate the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". If you morph wirelessly, you may have to expedite transparently. We will facilitate the ability of subscriber communities to harness. Think user-centric. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With one click? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We will drive the power of next-generation, granular process management to synthesize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think micro-C2C2C. We will implement the ability of e-tailers to aggregate. We will harness the industry jargon "wireless". We will embrace the capacity of metrics to incentivize. The aptitude to e-enable dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate magnetically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not global. Without sufficient architectures, portals are forced to become intuitive, C2C2B, virally-distributed. Smart Marketing has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our capacity to transform. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B research and development, super-TQC are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for sexy bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? We will grow our capability to synthesize without lessening our capacity to cultivate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned customized systems, customized communities are forced to become back-end.