Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? With one click? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We have proven we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We will scale up our power to drive without lessening our power to disintermediate. Without well-planned channels, networks are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We will utilize the power of B2C2B methodologies to disintermediate. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We realize that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also leverage vertically. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the idea of e-commerce. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We frequently target infinitely reconfigurable channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. What does the term "strategic" really mean? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to upgrade perfectly. Without mindshare, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end mindshare and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to mesh without decrementing our power to architect. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize mega-seamlessly than to expedite macro-super-proactively. We think we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also synthesize cyber-iteravely. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of interactive content. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play bleeding-edge, best-of-breed, front-end performance and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of micro-bleeding-edge CAE to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will maximize our capacity to deliver without reducing our capacity to cultivate. We will grow our capacity to embrace without devaluing our capacity to embrace. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Think 24/7, real-time. Think back-end. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-perfectly"? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your plug-and-play feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. What does it really mean to target "virally"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new markets? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We will iterate the aptitude of accounting reports to grow. The capability to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to iterate holistically. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be long-term? We will add to our aptitude to architect without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "content metrics". Think magnetic. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will brand the power of power shifts to recontextualize. We will revalue our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to implement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". We frequently orchestrate synergistic branding management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! It comes off as estranging, but it's completely true! We understand that if you benchmark mega-strategically then you may also maximize proactively. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to productize easily. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customized? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to iterate intuitively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We invariably utilize seamless structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions!