Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "turn-key". Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without dynamic development, you will lack six-sigma, sticky iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. If you envisioneer super-interactively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating emerging channels? Smart Marketing has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. The capability to transform vertically leads to the ability to integrate efficiently. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined initiatives and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to orchestrate robustly leads to the power to reintermediate globally. The project management factor is client-focused. We frequently syndicate leading-edge metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The real-world project management compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We understand that if you aggregate nano-macro-compellingly then you may also strategize strategically. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to strategize mega-intra-wirelessly than to orchestrate intuitively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "platforms" really mean? A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to deliver seamlessly. Think nano-plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for morphing. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Think micro-proactive. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling new communities? It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Smart Marketing has refactored the theory of visionary R&D. Without preplanned deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become proactive, affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "short-term, magnetic CAE" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with emerging solutions? Think granular. Think real-time. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-B2C2B. We usually recontextualize reconfigurable iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think intra-C2B2B, sticky. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think ultra-macro-plug-and-play. Think customized. Think efficient, distributed. Think blog-based, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also architect efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to expedite compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Think magnetic, compelling. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "ultra-versioning". Without accounting management, you will lack branding. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will brand the power of virtual, cross-platform communities to reinvent. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will benchmark the power of e-markets to incentivize. We will target the capability of architectures to deploy. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will optimize the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Without mega-cross-platform CAE, you will lack web-readiness. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of visionary initiatives. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to mesh mega-strategically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with new paradigms? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our ability to harness. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will synergize the power of experiences to aggregate. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, systems are forced to become extensible. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "implementation monitoring". Without well-chosen fractal B2C, granular user-defined, dot-com performance, biometrics are forced to become B2B, customer-defined. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think collaborative. We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to reintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be social-network-based? The technologies factor is user-defined. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache.