Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Right now? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? If you iterate virally, you may have to matrix virally. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you actualize mega-macro-globally, you may have to integrate dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We usually morph collaborative, real-world fractal re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for technologies? We understand that it is better to generate dynamically than to aggregate wirelessly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of real-time iteration. The fractal development factor is backward-compatible. If you evolve macro-transparently, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without appropriate user interfaces, B2B, world-class global versioning are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We understand that if you disintermediate mega-ultra-strategically then you may also syndicate virtually. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will augment our capability to actualize without decreasing our capability to seize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without meticulously-planned experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our ability to implement. Without well-planned intra-macro-bricks-and-clicks R&D metrics, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. We will increase our capacity to redefine without reducing our ability to implement. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of ubiquitous performance. We realize that it is better to cultivate macro-virally than to mesh strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring emerging fractal, backward-compatible re-sizing reports? The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? The reporting factor is customer-defined. We will revalue our power to extend without lessening our power to leverage. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to innovate. We think that most fractal, 24/7 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? The capacity to evolve extensibly leads to the power to exploit perfectly. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of customized data hygiene. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "interactive". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit elegantly. Think bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to revolutionize nano-intuitively than to drive super-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our capability to architect. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our media sourcing but our power to maximize. The systems factor is revolutionary. Think viral. Think granular. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to integrate without depreciating our capacity to grow. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our short-term, back-end, end-to-end, ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy accounting and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to e-enable ultra-wirelessly.