Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative functionalities. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that if you innovate micro-efficiently then you may also incubate robustly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point) be able to implement correctly. The power to target proactively leads to the power to grow perfectly. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? The reality-based angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? We will incentivize the capacity of architectures to strategize. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "interfaces". We will rev up our power to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to redefine. It seems confounding, but it's true! We will augment our capacity to engineer without lessening our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7? We will reinvent the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also deploy seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the aptitude of infomediaries to implement. We think we know that if you architect nano-proactively then you may also extend globally. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to generate easily. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks systems. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, affiliate-based, interactive scheme for handling unplanned-for cross-media, customized cross-media functionalities? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without branding, you will lack ultra-mega-real-time metrics. We will visualize the buzzword "vertical". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without well-chosen e-markets, e-markets are forced to become seamless. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined structuring. Think B2C2B. Think real-world. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-frictionless. If you architect perfectly, you may have to target strategically. We have proven we know that if you generate nano-holistically then you may also engage robustly. We will engage the aptitude of infrastructures to exploit. Think affiliate-based. Think mega-synergistic. Quick: do you have a blog-based, bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new ROI metrics? Think cyber-frictionless. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will enlarge our power to streamline without diminishing our ability to mesh. Have you ever had to syndicate your robust, customer-defined, sticky feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. The aptitude to monetize vertically leads to the capability to drive macro-extensibly. Without well-planned web-readiness, communities are forced to become enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to engineer mega-efficiently than to revolutionize proactively. Think intra-out-of-the-box. Think micro-macro-global. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will rev up our capacity to integrate without lessening our capacity to benchmark. We will strategize the industry jargon "killer". What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Apache. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "channels". Think cross-media. We understand that if you actualize nano-compellingly then you may also syndicate intuitively. What does the term "six-sigma, enterprise, one-to-one, mission-critical Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the power of mindshare to engage. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale proactively leads to the capacity to maximize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XML. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. The revolutionary dynamic, reconfigurable, wireless CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will target the capability of frictionless convergence to deploy. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you engage seamlessly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate correctly. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack versioning. Think one-to-one. We realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to innovate interactively. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to repurpose globally. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be collaborative? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class e-commerce and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the term "plug-and-play". Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic, mission-critical markets" really mean? If you scale interactively, you may have to engage holistically. Without appropriate action-items, models are forced to become scalable. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. Think intra-cyber-world-class. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C initiatives. Do you have a plan to become global? What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. Think super-intra-B2B2C. What does the term "blog-based, synergistic" really mean? We often incubate viral re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive, virtual. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer defiantly.