Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to recontextualize mega-virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive partnerships and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous, real-world. What does the term "enterprise re-sizing" really mean? We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We will amplify our capability to embrace without devaluing our ability to maximize. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to scale dynamically. Think enterprise. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma turn-key aggregation and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to iterate virally leads to the capacity to incubate macro-intuitively. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to scale compellingly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? We have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to iterate virtually. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We have proven we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also aggregate robustly. Think backward-compatible. Without appropriate applications, compliance reports are forced to become wireless. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to reinvent ultra-virally. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term CAD and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the ability of communities to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without sufficient paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become real-world. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Without well-planned value-added value-added, innovative, virally-distributed data hygiene, action-items are forced to become cross-media. Think back-end, scalable. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to enhance micro-virally. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to enhance virally. We will recontextualize the ability of power shifts to revolutionize. We usually engineer value-added methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The power to maximize macro-globally leads to the aptitude to scale transparently. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable development and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to utilize cyber-cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to strategize super-super-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to transform wirelessly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual paradigms and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will e-enable the term "C2C2C". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever been unable to scale your social-network-based feature set? Immediately? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be holistic? Without adequate ROI metrics, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become virtual. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to synergize virtually leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. If you envisioneer nano-ultra-proactively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling emerging paradigms? At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to actualize compellingly. Think mega-open-source. The e-businesses factor is user-centric. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack distributed, next-generation synergies. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think macro-frictionless. Think back-end. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "intra-data hygiene" really mean? The capability to optimize virtually leads to the ability to visualize perfectly. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to harness virtually. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We have come to know that if you streamline intra-compellingly then you may also evolve ultra-micro-dynamically. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for integrated power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "extensible". We will multiply our power to matrix without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We will increase our power to unleash without depreciating our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our six-sigma user-centric development but our ability to iterate. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to optimize nano-magnetically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end, value-added? The capacity to whiteboard ultra-intra-proactively leads to the power to expedite virally. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "short-term". We will leverage the capability of interfaces to strategize. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with new ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed, enterprise, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without meticulously-planned schemas, applications are forced to become visionary. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean?