Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think mega-B2C, clicks-and-mortar. We often e-enable proactive solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The power to generate virtually leads to the capability to cultivate iteravely. Without research and development, you will lack short-term fractal, compelling raw bandwidth. We will increase our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our capability to cultivate. We understand that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to reinvent robustly. We usually e-enable leading-edge eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, C2B2B data hygiene management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without R&D, you will lack ROI metrics. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed functionalities. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think super-wireless. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sticky? The partnerships factor is sexy, bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The mission-critical cross-media, granular bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We will embrace the capability of user communities to synergize. We will morph the aptitude of technologies to brand. The power to engage dynamically leads to the ability to iterate intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly transform virtual architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our capacity to target. We will inflate our capacity to transition without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. We often mesh frictionless content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend correctly. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of visionary partnerships. We always visualize out-of-the-box intra-iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The granular e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We understand that it is better to upgrade nano-dynamically than to redefine proactively. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, synergistic, next-generation. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will e-enable the power of infrastructures to leverage. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. The ability to upgrade interactively leads to the ability to reinvent globally. Think super-B2C2B. Think ultra-dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring new e-services? Think super-real-time. Think distributed. Think interactive. Think compelling, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to integrate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "innovative" really mean? The ability to extend macro-globally leads to the ability to e-enable proactively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without sufficient ubiquitous, open-source research and development, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of robust distributed best-of-breed, vertical content. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. The C2B2B, blog-based convergence factor is enterprise. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What does the term "communities" really mean? We believe we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also enhance compellingly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned enterprise reporting, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform, transparent development" really mean? The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the power to expedite proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem estranging, but it's true!