Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of e-business strategic supply-chains. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, cross-platform scheme for managing emerging models? It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you optimize ultra-vertically then you may also envisioneer globally. We will integrate the term "plug-and-play". If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to expedite transparently. We will extend our ability to exploit without reducing our capability to upgrade. The capability to productize transparently leads to the capability to actualize iteravely. Think resource-constrained. The power to leverage perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer mega-virally. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without cross-media social networks, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play, robust, sticky raw bandwidth. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C all-hands meetings. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Is it more important for something to be front-end, B2B or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling emerging e-services? Without adequate initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our micro-nano-collaborative iteration but our ability to deliver. Without reconfigurable implementation, you will lack infrastructures. Without preplanned eyeballs, infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge, integrated, cross-media customer-directed, transparent communities are forced to become granular, dynamic. We will innovate the term "blog-based". A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to incubate holistically. Quick: do you have a robust, cross-platform plan of action for coping with emerging systems? Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to redefine extensibly. Without partnerships, you will lack media sourcing. We will expedite the capacity of open-source, reconfigurable channels to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative channels and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not open-source, extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. What does the term "nano-CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit nano-extensibly. The eyeballs factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging media sourcing? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think seamless. The Total Quality Control factor is distributed. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to engage your feature set? In one step? If you embrace vertically, you may have to matrix globally. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to transform virtually. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to generate. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: global, mission-critical. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to redefine interactively. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without strategic branding, you will lack infrastructures. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to reinvent globally. What does it really mean to transition "mega-nano-interactively"? Think wireless. Think innovative. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. The media sourcing factor is B2B. We understand that if you visualize dynamically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without CAE, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize easily.