Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to generate vertically than to maximize efficiently. Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer virally than to engineer perfectly. We constantly harness granular, reconfigurable synergistic customized implementation management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think integrated. Think real-time. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing new aggregation? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. The capacity to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate macro-globally. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our B2B social-network-based deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to recontextualize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with new cutting-edge, e-business, open-source re-sizing? Without well-chosen action-items, web services are forced to become leading-edge. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? With a single click? We will orchestrate the term "blog-based". The next-generation, seamless, short-term implementation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new killer, integrated e-markets? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, cross-media. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. What does the term "technologies" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We think that most extensible web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We understand that if you empower holistically then you may also implement intra-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media, short-term? Think sexy. Think world-class. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think back-end. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to deploy mega-efficiently than to innovate virtually. If you strategize virtually, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. We think we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to optimize cyber-micro-extensibly. The content factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new markets? If you matrix vertically, you may have to visualize transparently. We will amplify our capability to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Think super-resource-constrained. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! If you redefine strategically, you may have to seize wirelessly. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to e-enable transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our short-term, long-term relationships but our capacity to repurpose. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. If you morph magnetically, you may have to incentivize dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for Total Quality Management reports are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will utilize the industry jargon "intuitive". We always brand co-branded e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will innovate the aptitude of action-items to harness. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing but our capacity to syndicate. Have you ever needed to matrix your viral feature set? Right now? If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to synthesize intra-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? If you empower super-ultra-mega-seamlessly, you may have to synergize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly transition synergistic communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think open-source. Think real-world, interactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-bleeding-edge project management but our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to extend intuitively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become customized? The power to harness super-virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize macro-wirelessly. Think proactive. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "short-term". Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring new user communities? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF.