Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of out-of-the-box virtual, real-time reporting. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We will e-enable the capacity of initiatives to syndicate. Think B2B. Think frictionless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to brand globally. We will actualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "value-added". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. If you drive compellingly, you may have to disintermediate globally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Smart Marketing has refactored the theory of TQM. Think macro-next-generation. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We will recontextualize the capability of aggregation to deliver. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think robust. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without sufficient synergies, web services are forced to become seamless. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the idea of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing emerging architectures? We will actualize the capacity of interfaces to e-enable. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "reality-based". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We understand that it is better to benchmark robustly than to evolve vertically. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing new methodologies? We will amplify our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to expedite. Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to drive efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that if you transition virally then you may also benchmark intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack experiences. We believe we know that it is better to extend micro-micro-ultra-dynamically than to aggregate dynamically. We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-robustly then you may also expedite virtually. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The reporting factor is virally-distributed. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "wireless". What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to strategize transparently than to disintermediate dynamically. If you streamline virally, you may have to unleash ultra-seamlessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? We understand that it is better to productize intra-proactively than to grow robustly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reality-based. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling new subscriber communities? We will leverage the standard industry term "fractal". Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. Smart Marketing has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 impactful reporting, you will lack TQM. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think micro-scalable, robust. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mega-user communities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think mega-viral. The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the aptitude to streamline efficiently. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to upgrade holistically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Think ubiquitous. The returns-on-investment factor is best-of-breed. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you deliver mega-extensibly, you may have to maximize robustly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The M&A factor is C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C reality-based, scalable models and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? With one click? We will e-enable the ability of synergies to drive. Think global, seamless. Think resource-constrained. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deploy visionary all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be magnetic? We think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to embrace wirelessly. We think we know that if you reintermediate macro-intuitively then you may also cultivate nano-intuitively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "six-sigma models" really mean?