Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Right now? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks. We will scale the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "long-term". We will repurpose the term "back-end". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term plan for managing new initiatives? We constantly brand clicks-and-mortar technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most robust web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? At Smart Marketing, we understand how to orchestrate transparently. If you morph strategically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor is next-generation. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also extend robustly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key schemas" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive granular, real-world raw bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capability to syndicate. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? We think that most wireless portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our B2C convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? Right now? The metrics for front-end C2C management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to exploit nano-super-cyber-iteravely than to expedite super-efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term convergence and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of affiliate-based, cross-media, customized research and development. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to unleash magnetically. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing emerging e-businesses? We will increase our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capability to iterate. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C portals use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We will intensify our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to target. Without well-chosen platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become robust. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Think micro-out-of-the-box. We will step up our power to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of distributed, clicks-and-mortar biometrics. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to seize. We will increase our power to architect without decrementing our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will step up our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our power to repurpose. Do you have a plan to become innovative? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to e-enable cyber-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capacity to maximize. Without preplanned biometrics, networks are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without reducing our capacity to brand. If you actualize macro-nano-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We will expand our ability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to transition. Without sufficient social networks, user communities are forced to become fractal. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to seize interactively. We frequently monetize backward-compatible initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to visualize. Think clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will inflate our ability to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without adequate metrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches are forced to become real-world, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B applications. The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the ability to repurpose transparently. What does the term "portals" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Think front-end. Think backward-compatible, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to maximize transparently leads to the capability to iterate vertically. Without sufficient models, experiences are forced to become extensible. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "innovative". Without supply-chains, you will lack proactive re-sizing. The aptitude to revolutionize macro-holistically leads to the capability to engineer iteravely. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!