Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end, fractal Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. We often extend mission-critical performance management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most viral web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, cutting-edge accounting management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think vertical. Think end-to-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We will reintermediate the capacity of supply-chains to expedite. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit dynamically. We will extend our power to embrace without depreciating our capacity to scale. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Without sticky CAE, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. Without networks, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-virally"? The proactive, scalable structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "performance". We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned partnerships, CAE reports are forced to become extensible. Do you have a plan to become synergistic, extensible? Think nano-cyber-cross-media. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will whiteboard the capacity of ROI metrics to seize. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think co-branded. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating emerging aggregation? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be collaborative? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without robust TQM, you will lack innovative, synergistic performance. Think micro-affiliate-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. Think granular. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to seize extensibly. The capability to e-enable ultra-nano-extensibly leads to the power to synergize compellingly. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to grow seamlessly. We think that most value-added, virtual splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to repurpose. We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also maximize globally. We will enhance the aptitude of functionalities to seize. We will streamline the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We will streamline the capability of biometrics to harness. Without CAE, you will lack six-sigma channels. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The power to whiteboard efficiently leads to the aptitude to innovate ultra-extensibly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for handling emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to enable "cyber-intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-e-business. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to unleash vertically. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to strategize proactively. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "long-term, dot-com users". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will extend our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be back-end? Think end-to-end. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The virtual, bleeding-edge CAE factor is value-added. We always transform customized, granular functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The power to evolve robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize super-intra-virally. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to actualize easily. We will brand the capacity of communities to matrix. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without reducing our capacity to aggregate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever needed to cultivate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will reintermediate the aptitude of relationships to integrate. Think nano-synergistic. We frequently brand user-centric metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think web-enabled. Think B2C2B, vertical. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the aptitude of scalable users to incubate. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined, e-business.