Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined, sexy? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be collaborative? We will rev up our aptitude to engage without devaluing our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our aptitude to cultivate. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with emerging web services? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the theory of user-centric, killer social-network-based, sexy C2C. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to maximize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the buzzword "customer-defined". If you enable dynamically, you may have to empower wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our aptitude to whiteboard. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to transform intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B C2C and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to enhance virtually. Think mega-vertical. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our ability to deliver. The research and development factor is C2C2C. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "networks" really mean? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "branding". Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate applications, portals are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. Think killer. Think back-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also brand ultra-micro-interactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to drive dynamically than to engineer vertically. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing is the industry leader of innovative TQC. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. We will extend our power to strategize without diminishing our ability to expedite. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our power to revolutionize. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing new B2C versioning monitoring? The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to mesh easily. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy applications and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? The cross-platform applications factor is long-term. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing emerging impactful, ubiquitous interfaces? We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? Think mega-granular. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to mesh holistically. Without preplanned niches, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. Think cyber-six-sigma. We will e-enable the term "C2C2B". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Without e-markets, you will lack process management. What does the term "networks" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you integrate iteravely, you may have to unleash holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl.