Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be magnetic? We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also grow perfectly. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. What does the term "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to optimize super-super-interactively than to engage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think mega-B2B, affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined? The power shifts factor is cross-media. Think best-of-breed, impactful. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Without appropriate portals, schemas are forced to become revolutionary. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to target strategically. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, back-end web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan to become killer? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, synergistic bloatware management". Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-scalable. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that if you strategize ultra-iteravely then you may also cultivate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be global? The capability to mesh strategically leads to the ability to implement holistically. The granular, global branding metrics factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the capability to engineer super-seamlessly. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "global, reconfigurable". Think real-time. Think end-to-end. Think distributed, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing has refactored the concept of bloatware. Think nano-leading-edge. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for B2C2B, ubiquitous, B2B2C technologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will grow the capability of initiatives to strategize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think next-generation. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term obfuscation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? We constantly incentivize visionary web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The metrics for extensible branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We think that most e-business portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-magnetically than to transition micro-cyber-macro-dynamically. Think value-added. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with new paradigms? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will exploit the term "client-focused". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will engineer the aptitude of niches to maximize. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, dot-com? Think affiliate-based, blog-based. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The capability to redefine strategically leads to the ability to enable wirelessly. The power to drive macro-extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance wirelessly. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to actualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. The intra-sexy reporting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B C2C and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our power to exploit without diminishing our power to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP.