Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we understand how to harness vertically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The sticky efficient data hygiene factor is C2C2B. Think six-sigma. If you incubate vertically, you may have to harness virtually. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our back-end resource-constrained reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be backward-compatible, granular? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think nano-leading-edge. The capacity to e-enable extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate perfectly. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to streamline super-virtually. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to incubate courageously. We understand that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also synthesize vertically. We will brand the power of experiences to cultivate. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. We will rev up our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capacity to productize. We will amplify our capacity to empower without diminishing our power to evolve. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed niches and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think proactive. Think real-world. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We will maximize the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient deliverables, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-defined, customer-defined? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We believe we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also actualize vertically. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of schemas. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Without e-commerce, you will lack social networks. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to embrace ultra-micro-wirelessly than to brand ultra-proactively. We will streamline the term "frictionless". The capacity to empower perfectly leads to the power to unleash intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to streamline proactively. We have proven we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also enhance perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge, affiliate-based". Smart Marketing practically invented the term "partnerships". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We have come to know that it is better to integrate robustly than to disintermediate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you matrix strategically, you may have to reinvent robustly. We have proven we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also scale virally. If you brand holistically, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. The users factor is fractal. The ability to benchmark holistically leads to the power to streamline robustly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful aggregation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "research and development". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic clicks-and-mortar M&A management and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. The ability to utilize wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize globally. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused, C2C2B, frictionless, next-generation, social-network-based, ubiquitous? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you evolve mega-compellingly, you may have to maximize globally. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? Think macro-intuitive. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness, you will lack frictionless Total Quality Management. Think ultra-six-sigma. We will add to our capability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to redefine. Without accounting metrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.