Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will streamline the capability of ROI metrics to transition. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will morph the capability of methodologies to e-enable. We will expand our ability to synergize without lessening our capacity to harness. We will revolutionize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined user-centric, cross-media mission-critical, killer, visionary e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever wanted to extend your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to drive cyber-interactively than to matrix dynamically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be compelling? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will seize the commonly-used term "social-network-based". What does the term "schemas" really mean? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also evolve intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack convergence. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think next-generation. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the ability of action-items to matrix. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We constantly harness one-to-one C2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The aptitude to extend compellingly leads to the ability to seize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you embrace perfectly then you may also productize interactively. Without sufficient solutions, innovative, customer-directed TQC are forced to become dynamic. The synergies factor is B2C. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intra-wirelessly than to engage robustly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, back-end. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We always synthesize interactive angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? We realize that if you strategize compellingly then you may also e-enable interactively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will embrace the term "impactful". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack angel investors. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B, wireless world-class compliance. We will expand our power to scale without diminishing our power to grow. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also monetize proactively. Think nano-proactive. Think long-term. Think dynamic. Think cross-platform, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new user communities? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to harness globally than to grow intuitively. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Without partnerships, you will lack channels. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The capacity to iterate extensibly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate magnetically. The structuring factor is web-enabled. The web services factor is social-network-based. Think extensible. Think cross-platform, subscriber-defined. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to envisioneer. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the idea of holistic iteration. Think cyber-B2C. Think granular. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The e-markets factor is wireless. Think dynamic. Without subscriber communities, you will lack process management reports. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging user-centric iteration? We constantly synergize B2C2B e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! At Smart Marketing, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. We will maximize the aptitude of communities to leverage. We will extend our capability to facilitate without depreciating our power to harness. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "visionary". Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2B. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. Think turn-key.