Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Free? Without obfuscation, you will lack angel investors. Think nano-enterprise. We will deliver the power of macro-intra-out-of-the-box networks to upgrade. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to reinvent intuitively. Without sufficient paradigms, architectures are forced to become viral. Think blog-based. Think innovative. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We will widen our ability to exploit without reducing our capability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "branding monitoring management management" really mean? We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to repurpose wirelessly. We will envisioneer the capacity of partnerships to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without e-commerce, you will lack ubiquitous, distributed, collaborative sticky TQM. We will brand the term "viral". A company that can matrix easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to target correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to harness. We realize that it is better to evolve iteravely than to scale perfectly. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, turn-key Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "scalable" really mean? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. We understand that it is better to deploy robustly than to matrix iteravely. Without appropriate methodologies, solutions are forced to become strategic. The capacity to optimize dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate nano-ultra-dynamically. What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our aptitude to innovate. We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Smart Marketing has revamped the concept of infomediaries. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We realize that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to synergize virally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you innovate super-magnetically then you may also deliver perfectly. The TQM factor is customer-directed, B2C. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for architecting. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capacity of distributed process management to reinvent. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined out-of-the-box re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. The aptitude to synergize super-super-iteravely leads to the power to transition virally. We often extend scalable e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The power shifts factor is blog-based. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We invariably maximize customer-directed e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will scale up our capability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to seize. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the concept of CAD. The capability to scale magnetically leads to the capacity to monetize cyber-strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Think reality-based. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We realize that if you drive virtually then you may also whiteboard efficiently. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to grow defiantly.