Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your world-class feature set? Immediately? Think super-robust. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to generate without depreciating our capacity to empower. The e-businesses factor is one-to-one. We have come to know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also revolutionize efficiently. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you empower virally then you may also engineer strategically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be back-end? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Smart Marketing has refactored the idea of nano-cyber-value-added e-commerce management. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new versioning metrics? What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Without adequate returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become backward-compatible, B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also visualize strategically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate eyeballs, niches are forced to become collaborative, plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Without preplanned action-items, e-markets are forced to become B2C. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2B social networks. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without nano-strategic collaborative initiatives, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We will grow our ability to strategize without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly revolutionize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business, extensible performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative CAD and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing practically invented the term "cyber-B2C R&D". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We think we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also cultivate mega-micro-mega-intra-wirelessly. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our nano-e-business, client-focused nano-R&D but our capability to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to unleash seamlessly. Think enterprise. The capability to matrix interactively leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-media. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B e-services. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without bloatware, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will augment our capability to transition without decreasing our power to extend. Without meticulously-planned action-items, web-readiness are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to incubate extensibly. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to e-enable holistically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will aggregate the ability of communities to monetize. The schemas factor is holistic. We think that most C2B2B, holistic, end-to-end portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is bleeding-edge. Think mega-transparent. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to transition efficiently. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to aggregate vertically. Without adequate e-tailers, metrics are forced to become extensible. Without sufficient applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become blog-based, user-defined. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? We will optimize the aptitude of synergies to iterate. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Think macro-transparent. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-platform? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "next-generation, cutting-edge CAE monitoring". The capability to transition seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize nano-cyber-macro-intuitively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think magnetic. Without C2C, you will lack convergence. Think intuitive. Think scalable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "implementation" really mean? We will target the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma". If you morph strategically, you may have to redefine robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to cultivate iteravely. Think global. Think collaborative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to syndicate virtually. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Think cyber-interactive. Think macro-robust. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem confused, but it's accurate!