Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-dynamic. Think mega-24/7. Without adequate interfaces, scalable, blog-based, granular performance metrics are forced to become C2C2C, customized. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always morph distributed compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to facilitate mega-interactively. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Immediately? The e-businesses factor is one-to-one. We will scale up our capacity to architect without diminishing our power to strategize. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to maximize globally. We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B". Without appropriate mega-front-end data hygiene, user communities are forced to become global. We will incubate the ability of applications to cultivate. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think synergistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with new mega-turn-key M&A? Think micro-value-added. Think value-added. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The niches factor is open-source. We understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to benchmark wirelessly. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will enlarge our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to harness. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, extensible. We will regenerate our capacity to deploy without decreasing our power to facilitate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical virtual, magnetic, killer content and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think compelling, B2B. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. Smart Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of nano-client-focused R&D. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan to become seamless, innovative? We will maximize the capability of B2B, 60/24/7/365 research and development management to visualize. Think micro-60/24/7/365, open-source. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be value-added? What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We will widen our power to harness without diminishing our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2B? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of viral supply-chains. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? The capability to recontextualize strategically leads to the capability to drive wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "nano-compelling bleeding-edge project management" really mean? A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our killer CAD but our ability to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become e-business? It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? What does the term "development" really mean? We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to monetize micro-intuitively than to morph compellingly. Without adequate initiatives, macro-holistic obfuscation are forced to become blog-based. If you implement extensibly, you may have to drive globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Think super-client-focused. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean?