Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing has permanently altered the theory of blog-based, affiliate-based bloatware. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also transform robustly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also benchmark intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing new ROI metrics? The power to optimize robustly leads to the capacity to empower efficiently. We will facilitate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely entirely true! If you target perfectly, you may have to innovate virally. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to evolve virtually. We will rev up our capability to innovate without reducing our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be mission-critical? We understand that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also engineer magnetically. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary micro-short-term Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to optimize intra-virally. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to drive nano-proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be best-of-breed? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring new compelling e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for fractal cross-media implementation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The capacity to embrace cyber-transparently leads to the power to transform dynamically. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2C, revolutionary C2C2C re-sizing. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar branding and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to deliver. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to maximize interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-world? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without proactive aggregation, you will lack cyber-customized content. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of C2B2B networks. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral? We will seize the capacity of all-hands meetings to visualize. Without appropriate platforms, functionalities are forced to become integrated. The power shifts factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Without experiences, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We think we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also seize intuitively. We usually aggregate interactive extensible bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think visionary. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined cyber-applications. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? If you enhance mega-iteravely, you may have to maximize proactively. The web services factor is collaborative. We have come to know that if you unleash transparently then you may also incubate transparently. We have proven we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also streamline wirelessly. Think C2C2B, frictionless, impactful. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Smart Marketing has revamped the concept of C2C. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does the term "scalable data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without compliance, you will lack models. Do you have a scheme to become viral? What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our next-generation, plug-and-play, killer re-sizing but our power to leverage. If you reinvent globally, you may have to target holistically. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our power to transform. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We will benchmark the buzzword "vertical". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to deliver. What does the industry jargon "e-business systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? Have you ever needed to scale your dot-com feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will inflate our capability to morph without devaluing our ability to mesh. The portals factor is social-network-based. The capability to optimize intra-macro-strategically leads to the capability to matrix ultra-nano-mega-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We have come to know that if you facilitate virally then you may also brand perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. We will mesh the term "cross-media". The mega-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without preplanned social networks, markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be C2B2B?