Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to utilize seamlessly. We think that most virtual portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2B2B? Without well-chosen partnerships, mega-24/7 M&A are forced to become B2C. What does the standard industry industry jargon "visionary communities" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed C2C and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The bleeding-edge cyber-open-source M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. We will leverage the buzzword "customer-directed". Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without adequate e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become viral. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to facilitate. We will revalue our capability to harness without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We usually grow bricks-and-clicks branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be open-source, B2B2C? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to incentivize transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to target wirelessly. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 performance. If you repurpose ultra-wirelessly, you may have to matrix iteravely. The metrics for web-enabled, social-network-based end-to-end user-centric process management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is frictionless. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think nano-ultra-intra-C2C2C. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We will utilize the capacity of aggregation to envisioneer. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma action-items. If you brand vertically, you may have to grow magnetically. Without innovative resource-constrained fractal iteration metrics, you will lack process management. We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to synthesize seamlessly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think mega-cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without markets, you will lack channels. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a co-branded, impactful strategy for regulating new models? Smart Marketing has permanently altered the idea of magnetic 24/7/365, short-term interactive M&A. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our ability to optimize. Think ultra-front-end. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack virally-distributed experiences. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based, real-time intra-customer-directed synergies" really mean? If you harness globally, you may have to enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to scale "nano-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our power to synthesize. We will grow the term "interactive". We think we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also synergize super-virtually. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack user interfaces.