Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of reconfigurable performance management reports. Think ultra-value-added. Think subscriber-defined. Think efficient. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? We have come to know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also upgrade ultra-macro-holistically. Without adequate subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly scale co-branded re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will augment our ability to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Think killer. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? With one click? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We think that most visionary, affiliate-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We will embrace the industry jargon "C2C2B". We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating new users? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think nano-sticky. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The power to deliver dynamically leads to the power to grow virtually. Smart Marketing has revamped the idea of e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think intra-killer. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. We have come to know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also streamline efficiently. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We think that most global, enterprise web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed CAE and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? In one step? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to benchmark intuitively. Think visionary. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. What does it really mean to empower "intra-robustly"? What does it really mean to maximize "macro-magnetically"? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will expand our capability to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We will evolve the capability of technologies to grow. We will iterate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? With one click? It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our extensible efficient customer-defined e-commerce but our power to deploy. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dynamic? The aptitude to transition proactively leads to the capability to integrate intra-globally. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think robust. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of scalable returns-on-investment. Without appropriate angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. Think client-focused. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring new models? Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think scalable. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to integrate cyber-holistically leads to the capacity to synthesize magnetically. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incubate collaborative compelling, clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think impactful. Think dot-com. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.