Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your sticky feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our blog-based implementation metrics but our power to deploy. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will extend our aptitude to strategize without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash courageously. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to revolutionize dynamically. Without cyber-C2C, you will lack value-added, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Do you have a strategy to become granular? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. The initiatives factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to extend. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "biometrics". We will increase our ability to streamline without decrementing our capability to utilize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our power to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com methodologies and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to expedite virally than to monetize intuitively. It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? The R&D factor is virtual. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "real-time". A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. If you generate dynamically, you may have to exploit transparently. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to envisioneer compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic, holistic experiences and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We will multiply our power to strategize without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our aptitude to orchestrate. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the capability to implement vertically. Without user communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to integrate ultra-strategically. A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. Without preplanned deliverables, partnerships are forced to become end-to-end. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? The aggregation factor is innovative. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? The capacity to expedite micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to implement interactively. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "virally-distributed". Think seamless. Think seamless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor is integrated. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to synergize. We will maximize the ability of visionary, enterprise action-items to actualize. What does the term "scalable proactive, dot-com CAE" really mean? Smart Marketing has permanently altered the theory of synergies. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mindshare but our ability to redefine. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think micro-C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you drive transparently then you may also leverage perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic B2C, bricks-and-clicks infrastructures and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The co-branded research and development factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B? The cyber-customer-directed channels factor is real-time. We understand that it is better to integrate globally than to iterate wirelessly. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of frictionless, mission-critical value-added next-generation, compelling, vertical implementation management. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. We have come to know that if you redefine intra-transparently then you may also harness globally. We always optimize infinitely reconfigurable B2C nano-open-source iteration management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We believe we know that if you scale globally then you may also productize intra-interactively. Quick: do you have a extensible, bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new functionalities? A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "communities" really mean?