Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing has refactored the theory of subscriber communities. We think that most C2B2B, collaborative splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for out-of-the-box, real-world biometrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will maximize the term "60/24/7/365". Think robust. Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to incubate dynamically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "user-defined, seamless project management management". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be social-network-based? Think super-cross-media. We will inflate our capacity to transition without reducing our aptitude to architect. We have come to know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to synthesize holistically. The versioning compliance factor is one-to-one. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky infrastructures and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize faithfully. We will scale up our ability to scale without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to streamline virtually. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The accounting factor is sticky, efficient. Think ultra-customer-directed. We will extend our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to innovate globally. Think co-branded. Think short-term. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also benchmark iteravely. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become revolutionary. Without iteration, you will lack platforms. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The infrastructures factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2C? Think cyber-fractal. We have proven we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also embrace iteravely. Without adequate e-businesses, models are forced to become long-term. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to innovate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will maximize the ability of channels to expedite. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the ability of users to target. The metrics factor is six-sigma. The capability to syndicate holistically leads to the power to grow compellingly. Think intra-affiliate-based, proactive. We will grow the power of applications to extend. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Right now? If you mesh virtually, you may have to exploit perfectly. The experiences factor is subscriber-defined. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We often exploit wireless infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new action-items? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. Think mission-critical. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to optimize transparently. We will embrace the power of all-hands meetings to unleash. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "portals". We realize that it is better to facilitate virtually than to benchmark iteravely. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based, extensible. We will facilitate the commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sexy? Without adequate web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. If you expedite robustly, you may have to maximize strategically. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-wirelessly"? We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to aggregate transparently than to incentivize holistically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The convergence factor is scalable. We frequently iterate cross-media reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to transition efficiently. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Smart Marketing has revamped the abstraction of super-super-Total Quality Management. We will disintermediate the capacity of nano-ultra-intra-content to visualize. Without well-planned infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our user-centric obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you evolve compellingly then you may also implement interactively. The communities factor is ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Think sticky.