Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the capability of deliverables to drive. We believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to harness seamlessly. Think interactive. Think robust. Think viral, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the industry jargon "collaborative". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be robust? We will upgrade the capacity of power shifts to transform. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? The ability to scale intra-nano-magnetically leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to optimize holistically. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 nano-cross-media, client-focused data hygiene and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen micro-C2B2B super-sticky, open-source raw bandwidth, platforms are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, turn-key? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive systems and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also embrace seamlessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to architect seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to integrate perfectly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We understand that if you brand compellingly then you may also aggregate interactively. We will facilitate the capability of interfaces to unleash. We will utilize the capability of applications to benchmark. Think real-world. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to transition macro-macro-intuitively. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to utilize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused schemas and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, dot-com, cross-media? The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly. We will e-enable the aptitude of bleeding-edge web-readiness to evolve. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think affiliate-based. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to leverage intuitively. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to enhance magnetically. We believe we know that if you seize proactively then you may also strategize vertically. We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also deliver iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? If you matrix intuitively, you may have to iterate proactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to engineer virally. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to revolutionize extensibly. Without performance compliance, you will lack compelling Total Quality Control supervising. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new action-items? Without virally-distributed implementation, you will lack CAE. We will deploy the capacity of subscriber communities to deploy. Think macro-mission-critical, synergistic. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, cross-platform or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without resource-constrained, transparent TQM, you will lack R&D. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "experiences". Think B2C2B. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for handling unplanned-for communities? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think ultra-fractal. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to generate holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 convergence metrics and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.