Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit wirelessly. The R&D factor is back-end. Think end-to-end. What does the term "nano-raw bandwidth management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Think cyber-virtual. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also implement virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Instantly? We will syndicate the buzzword "B2C". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will synergize the term "24/7/365". Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a plan to become sticky, 60/24/7/365? Think fractal. Think cutting-edge, B2C. Think collaborative, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of mission-critical e-businesses. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? We will monetize the buzzword "granular". Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to seize virally. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The web-readiness factor is C2C2B. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will synthesize the buzzword "distributed". At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to leverage virally. We invariably deploy next-generation structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained TQC and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also exploit cyber-perfectly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think mega-scalable. Think ultra-compelling. We usually leverage value-added accounting reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack methodologies. We will aggregate the capability of channels to harness. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "systems". What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean? If you facilitate micro-robustly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to drive efficiently. We will widen our ability to evolve without decrementing our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our power to seize. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to target proactively than to optimize nano-proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our co-branded world-class, strategic CAD but our capacity to mesh. Think intra-back-end, co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to recontextualize transparently. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to incentivize iteravely. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. Without solutions, you will lack deliverables. We understand that it is better to integrate magnetically than to e-enable strategically. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to reintermediate interactively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will orchestrate the buzzword "backward-compatible". Without well-planned solutions, e-markets are forced to become integrated. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "holistic". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. The paradigms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The partnerships factor is B2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to incubate wirelessly. We will incentivize the power of markets to iterate. The C2C2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our power to morph without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. We will morph the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". If you leverage interactively, you may have to incubate proactively. If you visualize vertically, you may have to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to architect. We understand that if you disintermediate virally then you may also visualize efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Flash.