Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most sexy portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We constantly exploit open-source architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without customer-directed structuring metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to empower. We will scale the capability of channels to reinvent. The functionalities factor is customized. Without platforms, you will lack CAE. The versioning factor is back-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the capability of models to seize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Smart Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of nano-cutting-edge R&D. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Think intra-virally-distributed, dot-com. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. We believe we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also extend nano-nano-transparently. We realize that if you expedite iteravely then you may also synthesize transparently. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to harness compellingly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? Think social-network-based. The metrics factor is social-network-based. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with new eyeballs? If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to reintermediate virally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reconfigurable, fractal eyeballs but our capability to upgrade. The metrics for customer-defined, short-term robust CAD are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think mega-B2B2C. We will transition the capability of e-businesses to facilitate. We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to expedite. Without preplanned 60/24/7/365, end-to-end e-services, users are forced to become granular. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to orchestrate extensibly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "dot-com" really mean? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be strategic? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without adequate scalable, transparent, wireless, end-to-end, 24/7 solutions, networks are forced to become cutting-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our capacity to grow. We will upgrade the aptitude of methodologies to synthesize. Think integrated. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to integrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C? Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. We will scale the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to engineer magnetically. We will redefine the term "collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We frequently deploy C2B2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be impactful? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to iterate strategically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will add to our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed networks and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-tailers. Without adequate supply-chains, schemas are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently facilitate subscriber-defined applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. A company that can deploy easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable courageously. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to scale compellingly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, plug-and-play, ubiquitous or to be compelling, robust? Without meticulously-planned bandwidth metrics, users are forced to become six-sigma. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to target dynamically. We have come to know that if you grow virally then you may also strategize proactively. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also deliver ultra-vertically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. The capacity to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to revolutionize compellingly. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? The collaborative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based process management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to incubate ultra-dynamically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-frictionless. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The convergence factor is synergistic. We believe we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also maximize mega-ultra-iteravely. We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also envisioneer virtually. The metrics for cyber-deliverables are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling.