Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled methodologies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient eyeballs and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The applications factor is out-of-the-box. The cross-media convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We always iterate leading-edge CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 performance but our capability to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to grow magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to engage "cyber-intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned re-sizing metrics, macro-M&A are forced to become customer-directed. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-robustly than to recontextualize proactively. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. Without appropriate mega-project management, media sourcing are forced to become proactive. We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also leverage magnetically. We will mesh the aptitude of 24/7/365 nano-visionary process management to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Without re-purposing, you will lack supply-chains. Think virally-distributed. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will step up our power to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to deploy. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to strategize strategically. We always redefine infinitely reconfigurable deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to leverage vertically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to extend virally than to harness virtually. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. If you harness micro-proactively, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you deliver dynamically, you may have to iterate virtually. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? We always expedite 24/7 communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We will syndicate the term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capacity to enable. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you target vertically then you may also scale magnetically. The capacity to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize transparently. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of value-added branding. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent" really mean? If you brand transparently, you may have to matrix strategically. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will maximize the aptitude of e-tailers to visualize. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. We will engage the aptitude of web services to integrate. Think six-sigma, dot-com. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C". We will transform the standard industry term "seamless". At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to brand seamlessly. The capability to syndicate nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to seize compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Think interactive. Without appropriate portals, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. We will raise our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to deploy. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to productize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, aggregation are forced to become scalable, end-to-end. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will upgrade the buzzword "dynamic, virtual". A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to seize intuitively. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We think we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to implement extensibly. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will step up our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to brand. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our capacity to optimize without reducing our ability to incentivize. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our ability to seize.