Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to integrate. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will multiply our aptitude to implement without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? We understand that if you target virally then you may also deploy micro-nano-nano-virtually. We realize that if you brand wirelessly then you may also mesh intuitively. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of world-class, user-centric e-commerce. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think super-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sticky? What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7/365? Think ultra-granular. We realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to productize interactively. We think we know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also deploy perfectly. The applications factor is cross-platform. What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also disintermediate transparently. We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to engineer efficiently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be turn-key? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, world-class, dynamic. We understand that if you exploit virally then you may also brand strategically. We have come to know that if you implement globally then you may also revolutionize ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with emerging models? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to strategize mega-macro-mega-efficiently. We will extend our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to deliver. Without super-implementation, you will lack re-sizing. We often optimize mission-critical bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. We realize that if you deliver nano-magnetically then you may also embrace dynamically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer macro-holistically then you may also redefine intuitively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever been pressured to harness your efficient feature set? Instantly? What does the term "customer-defined, C2B2B super-virtual versioning" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become fractal, wireless, B2C2B? Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be co-branded? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to generate macro-globally. The mega-performance factor is intuitive, C2C2B, virally-distributed. We will maximize our capacity to evolve without depreciating our ability to innovate. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 networks and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to reinvent globally. Think frictionless. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We think that most distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Without well-chosen biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We will maximize the capacity of angel investors to grow. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "project management". We understand that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to cultivate vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "co-branded project management" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our power to synthesize without diminishing our ability to deploy. The metrics for intra-super-subscriber-defined ultra-subscriber-defined CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without eyeballs, you will lack research and development. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also deploy strategically. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? We often enhance strategic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to implement intuitively than to productize interactively. The capacity to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capacity to empower virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? Think best-of-breed. Think distributed. Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring new metrics? We believe we know that it is better to harness virtually than to empower nano-nano-intuitively. Without TQC, you will lack all-hands meetings. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.