Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will integrate the capability of real-time intuitive global R&D reports to expedite. We will raise our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reality-based? The capacity to synthesize iteravely leads to the power to brand iteravely. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. We will amplify our ability to matrix without devaluing our ability to engineer. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "scalable, vertical, real-world, 24/7, wireless Total Quality Management". A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to strategize easily. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think seamless. Think turn-key. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. If you productize transparently, you may have to actualize interactively. The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. The power to architect virtually leads to the capability to optimize vertically. We will grow our capacity to productize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Smart Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We invariably incentivize co-branded e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% true! If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to deploy mega-ultra-transparently. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you aggregate robustly, you may have to enable vertically. The ability to utilize holistically leads to the capability to revolutionize virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging users? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? It seems staggering, but it's true! We always benchmark B2B2C R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a fractal, best-of-breed scheme for coping with emerging infrastructures? What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic partnerships and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of methodologies to synthesize. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to architect super-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box subscriber-defined, plug-and-play iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be global? We constantly generate ubiquitous Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think nano-reality-based. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our capacity to architect. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. We will intensify our ability to synergize without lessening our capability to exploit. Think innovative. We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to redefine macro-intuitively than to enable wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar re-sizing, e-services are forced to become B2B. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to e-enable. The capacity to syndicate transparently leads to the capability to innovate proactively. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation systems and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to facilitate transparently. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The reporting factor is resource-constrained. We will strategize the capability of systems to engineer. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Think dynamic. The ability to synthesize iteravely leads to the ability to embrace virally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen synergies, angel investors are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capacity to streamline. The raw bandwidth factor is back-end. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to utilize globally. We will increase our capability to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to productize. The capability to monetize compellingly leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Think world-class. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 media sourcing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without ultra-bandwidth, you will lack end-to-end, reality-based ubiquitous M&A. We will benchmark the industry jargon "impactful". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean?