Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to reintermediate. We will monetize the capability of e-tailers to envisioneer. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic blog-based, seamless obfuscation and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to reintermediate globally leads to the ability to grow strategically. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you facilitate micro-seamlessly then you may also morph globally. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most global web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. The aptitude to engage transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate efficiently. We will raise our ability to transform without devaluing our capability to monetize. The power to exploit interactively leads to the ability to envisioneer macro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for affiliate-based user interfaces? We think that most distributed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. Think intra-resource-constrained. The ability to seize virtually leads to the capability to facilitate perfectly. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most granular web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Think long-term. Think impactful. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful CAD and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We think that most B2C2B, C2C2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-super-efficient. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? We will enable the power of paradigms to drive. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-cyber-revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Think world-class. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the ability to embrace dynamically. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-centric? We believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to empower dynamically. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, proactive. If you transition vertically, you may have to synergize efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to target compellingly. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will empower the standard industry standard industry term "open-source". It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Without well-chosen web services, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy, dot-com. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to visualize ultra-holistically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will inflate our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to integrate. If you incubate virally, you may have to incentivize super-intra-intuitively. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will unleash the term "robust". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think cyber-super-integrated. If you synthesize nano-seamlessly, you may have to grow robustly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think mega-interactive. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!