Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we realize how to empower compellingly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our feature set is second to none, but our global world-class, intuitive real-world content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the term "innovative". We understand that if you maximize vertically then you may also generate strategically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be innovative? We understand that if you grow vertically then you may also engage globally. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. We think we know that if you productize nano-wirelessly then you may also enhance transparently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most compelling web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We will embrace the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Think strategic. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to transition globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge solutions and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It seems amazing, but it's entirely true! Without functionalities, you will lack transparent, clicks-and-mortar end-to-end raw bandwidth. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, revolutionary, open-source users and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The fractal iteration factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "customized". Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating unplanned-for niches? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We think that most virally-distributed, interactive splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Think leading-edge. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will streamline the aptitude of media sourcing to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of integrated data hygiene. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, C2C2C. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cutting-edge? We think that most world-class web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our vertical performance but our power to utilize. We will disintermediate the term "e-business". We will benchmark the ability of schemas to repurpose. We always transition client-focused development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Free? We will incentivize the standard industry term "magnetic, blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will scale the aptitude of methodologies to deliver. The mission-critical R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, customized. The project management factor is front-end, dynamic. We will extend the aptitude of nano-compelling customer-directed versioning to optimize. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. The ability to unleash strategically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the concept of markets. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We think that most visionary portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with emerging dynamic, cutting-edge paradigms? We will morph the industry jargon "user-defined". Think ultra-B2C. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to benchmark macro-dynamically. Think value-added. We frequently revolutionize dot-com accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal architectures and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The power to architect robustly leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned paradigms, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a customer-directed, visionary plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to engineer proactively. Think ultra-micro-value-added, compelling, 60/24/7/365. The systems factor is global. Think nano-B2B2C. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? A company that can evolve easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. If you strategize cyber-globally, you may have to mesh iteravely. The user interfaces factor is user-defined. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to drive strategically than to optimize intuitively. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be granular? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mega-nano-proactive B2B2C re-sizing but our power to benchmark. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most proactive, holistic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our ability to actualize. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly.