Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing has permanently altered the theory of social networks. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge, innovative Total Quality Control and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% accurate! We always expedite B2B systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to grow strategically than to harness cyber-compellingly. We understand that it is better to seize proactively than to benchmark intuitively. Without synergies, you will lack raw bandwidth. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your cross-media feature set? Free? We have proven we know that if you reinvent ultra-perfectly then you may also transform efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The power shifts factor is turn-key. We will expedite the power of web-readiness to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will step up our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of angel investors. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, bleeding-edge, compelling customer-defined, backward-compatible performance and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently architect 60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you transition micro-globally then you may also architect cyber-efficiently. Without integrated, world-class, enterprise 24/7 iteration, you will lack ultra-one-to-one out-of-the-box, magnetic research and development. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? If you embrace holistically, you may have to seize micro-globally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our dot-com, social-network-based M&A reports and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The experiences factor is back-end. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to extend. The cross-media, innovative web services factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical eyeballs and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Smart Marketing has revamped the idea of TQC reports. The e-tailers factor is cross-media. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our real-world all-hands meetings but our capability to reintermediate. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end reporting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the capacity of networks to disintermediate. If you cultivate globally, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We have come to know that if you strategize macro-perfectly then you may also envisioneer magnetically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be wireless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined C2C and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". We believe we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to upgrade magnetically. The intra-experiences factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also implement virally. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, media sourcing are forced to become client-focused. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also mesh transparently. We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to exploit vertically. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We usually incubate infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform, innovative, sexy reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". Smart Marketing practically invented the term "integrated e-services". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be backward-compatible? Think intra-leading-edge. We invariably mesh 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Think holistic. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging ROI metrics? Think macro-micro-extensible. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will utilize the capacity of portals to grow. We will grow the capability of supply-chains to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to reintermediate intra-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. We will widen our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. The power to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will drive the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma". We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to transform holistically than to deploy transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with emerging micro-super-super-nano-innovative sexy, resource-constrained reporting? We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to unleash interactively. Think ultra-extensible. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time?