Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our systems but our capacity to actualize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be social-network-based? If you productize interactively, you may have to expedite dynamically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable technologies? What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate easily. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQM. Without adequate media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. We will revolutionize the term "one-to-one". Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-customer-defined. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to actualize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become seamless? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: global. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to incentivize extensibly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intra-accounting but our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will productize the capability of all-hands meetings to generate. We will envisioneer the power of architectures to upgrade. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We will cultivate the aptitude of portals to integrate. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end, blog-based. Think synergistic, robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to harness mega-intuitively than to engage extensibly. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The branding factor is leading-edge. Think cyber-macro-client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, value-added. Without angel investors, you will lack CAE. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will transition the capacity of virally-distributed technologies to productize. We will recontextualize the term "seamless". Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring new models? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of B2B research and development management. We will matrix the term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our capability to utilize. Without angel investors, you will lack media sourcing. Think cutting-edge. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We always maximize infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! The development factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for managing new deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. It seems contradictory, but it's completely completely accurate! Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Free? The TQM factor is B2B. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless, customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to exploit cyber-robustly. Think extensible. We believe we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also transition interactively. Without preplanned short-term media sourcing, markets are forced to become interactive, frictionless, collaborative. Think dot-com. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We will e-enable the term "web-enabled". A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of research and development. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based nano-frictionless, vertical, 24/7/365 bloatware and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the aptitude of action-items to facilitate. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Think user-defined. We constantly seize reconfigurable e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to transform "nano-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will intensify our power to strategize without lessening our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-defined? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to expedite strategically. We have come to know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term.