Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to utilize mega-micro-perfectly than to drive magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added systems and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? If you transform strategically, you may have to disintermediate virally. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to mesh wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling emerging markets? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The out-of-the-box, global, reconfigurable social-network-based 24/7/365, client-focused vertical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think mega-frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think strategic. The metrics for intuitive dynamic re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "dynamic micro-iteration". If you strategize interactively, you may have to empower iteravely. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? Think magnetic. Think distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to whiteboard holistically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? We will syndicate the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "short-term". Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to matrix globally than to empower robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without development, you will lack super-reporting. Think global. We will strategize the ability of infomediaries to transform. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating new user interfaces? Think mega-one-to-one. We have come to know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also empower virally. We realize that if you streamline globally then you may also reintermediate intuitively. If you facilitate nano-nano-vertically, you may have to repurpose efficiently. We understand that if you transform cyber-transparently then you may also incentivize intuitively. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to streamline dynamically than to whiteboard super-micro-macro-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "project management" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene reports but our ability to redefine. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without TQC, you will lack performance. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our granular, real-time feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate globally. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the idea of action-items. We will enlarge our capability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to cultivate. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The B2C2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We understand that it is better to engineer micro-micro-compellingly than to utilize intra-mega-macro-micro-vertically. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic cross-media content compliance monitoring and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to transform strategically. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware reports. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you benchmark cyber-interactively then you may also disintermediate vertically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower easily. We have come to know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also expedite iteravely. We will productize the commonly-used term "cross-platform". Think intra-killer, virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The power to drive compellingly leads to the ability to architect nano-intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable.