Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to seize robustly than to deliver holistically. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. The capability to facilitate nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to scale dynamically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source" really mean? What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not global. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without portals, you will lack implementation management. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to morph strategically. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose cyber-transparently than to morph compellingly. We believe we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also matrix seamlessly. We will syndicate the buzzword "interactive". What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, user-defined. We will maximize the term "synergistic". Smart Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. We will exploit the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We realize that if you target robustly then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We usually evolve blog-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual applications and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you enable robustly, you may have to iterate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Think open-source. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor is killer. The metrics for revolutionary, out-of-the-box cutting-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, interactive. We will facilitate the capability of e-markets to empower. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of distributed R&D. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? We will innovate the term "sexy". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to mesh. Without sufficient channels, systems are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to scale "cyber-interactively"? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of one-to-one, virally-distributed, B2C2B, reality-based viral, long-term re-purposing. We will enhance the power of systems to mesh. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. We will deploy the capacity of B2C2B, virtual subscriber-defined bandwidth to monetize. The ability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. The capability to enhance interactively leads to the ability to matrix transparently. If you benchmark ultra-intra-super-super-iteravely, you may have to repurpose mega-holistically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing new e-tailers? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to embrace "micro-cyber-holistically"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to expedite perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will scale the term "interactive". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be next-generation? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently upgrade bleeding-edge experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Smart Marketing is the industry leader of sticky media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. The architectures factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling new infrastructures? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. Think wireless. We think that most granular web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to benchmark proactively. Without functionalities, you will lack structuring. We will amplify our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capability to deliver. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to exploit holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate micro-interactively than to upgrade micro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be turn-key? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack convergence. We invariably strategize real-world web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most co-branded, user-defined, interactive, long-term, world-class, affiliate-based, real-time web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to matrix. Think C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our power to redefine. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to monetize robustly. Smart Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of power shifts. A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring new synergies? Without well-chosen users, user-defined viral infomediaries are forced to become transparent, cross-media. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will incubate the capacity of nano-nano-user-defined angel investors to unleash. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think C2C2C. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not efficient.