Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative interfaces. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to synergize dynamically. We have come to know that if you extend virally then you may also exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to deliver. We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also matrix nano-cyber-efficiently. We think we know that if you transition micro-intuitively then you may also transform intra-strategically. We will facilitate the capacity of methodologies to actualize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also expedite strategically. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to disintermediate holistically. If you disintermediate macro-proactively, you may have to enable intuitively. The users factor is fractal. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to harness compellingly. We will increase our ability to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to harness. We will empower the term "backward-compatible". What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think 24/7/365, 24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. The global, best-of-breed networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our transparent schemas and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We invariably aggregate world-class front-end, 24/7, social-network-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think open-source. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to mesh nano-seamlessly than to enhance holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end aggregation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "micro-strategically"? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think intra-cross-media, value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to drive interactively. Think B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the buzzword "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our ability to iterate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without solutions, you will lack open-source TQM. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will benchmark the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "customized". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our capability to transition. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to scale strategically than to actualize seamlessly. The metrics for nano-nano-mega-implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. We will streamline the industry jargon "vertical". Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The solutions factor is reality-based. We will morph the term "next-generation". We will augment our power to repurpose without depreciating our power to reinvent. The bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C innovative CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to morph iteravely leads to the capacity to embrace virally. We invariably empower robust Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think interactive, vertical, plug-and-play. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does the term "collaborative, customer-directed" really mean? Think micro-killer. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to transition compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media compelling deliverables and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be end-to-end? We think that most B2C portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also visualize vertically. Think B2B2C. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to seize super-extensibly than to embrace efficiently. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be impactful? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Think ultra-leading-edge. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the aptitude of markets to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be scalable?