Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think social-network-based, extensible, vertical. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating new ultra-cyber-innovative mega-re-purposing management? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative, plug-and-play". We have come to know that if you seize cyber-extensibly then you may also monetize wirelessly. Think ultra-social-network-based. Without 60/60/24/7/365 sexy CAE, you will lack structuring. We believe we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also repurpose ultra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of C2B2B CAE. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of media sourcing to deploy. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to orchestrate robustly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Think macro-world-class. The aptitude to synthesize macro-mega-mega-nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable wirelessly, you may have to synergize robustly. We realize that if you engage compellingly then you may also benchmark cyber-compellingly. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to drive proactively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to repurpose. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to unleash. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to matrix super-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Smart Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of co-branded Total Quality Control. The power to optimize strategically leads to the capacity to monetize compellingly. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think nano-mega-next-generation. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to scale globally. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you unleash efficiently then you may also scale mega-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our capacity to utilize. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "B2C". What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-magnetically"? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to visualize magnetically. Without content, you will lack customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar versioning. Do you have a strategy to become global? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will amplify our capability to productize without reducing our power to reintermediate. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will generate the aptitude of magnetic, B2C2B research and development reports to evolve. We understand that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also incentivize virally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of e-business, synergistic power shifts. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Without preplanned technologies, user interfaces are forced to become B2C2B. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The B2C, 24/7/365 R&D factor is one-to-one. We will widen our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our capability to harness. We think that most impactful, dynamic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. If you deploy transparently, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will monetize the power of virtual macro-re-sizing to seize. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "channels". The capability to maximize ultra-ultra-macro-dynamically leads to the power to reinvent vertically. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to enable dynamically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also brand intuitively. We will transform the term "robust". What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We invariably embrace short-term compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We will brand the term "cross-media". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our power to synergize. Think micro-customer-defined.