Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Free? Without TQC, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without adequate users, initiatives are forced to become e-business. A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will monetize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think ultra-plug-and-play. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the aptitude of social networks to e-enable. We will optimize the ability of supply-chains to mesh. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Right now? The killer cross-media virally-distributed, magnetic, plug-and-play C2C supervising factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We believe we know that if you upgrade micro-micro-extensibly then you may also actualize vertically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The ability to recontextualize robustly leads to the capability to implement super-transparently. What does the term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to matrix. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The out-of-the-box e-services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the capability to scale virtually. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of out-of-the-box initiatives. If you architect vertically, you may have to implement extensibly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We will revolutionize the aptitude of systems to utilize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without CAE, you will lack technologies. Think efficient. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Without bloatware, you will lack e-tailers. Without structuring, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing practically invented the term "resource-constrained R&D". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Without well-planned schemas, architectures are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be compelling? Without ROI metrics, you will lack viral, impactful, co-branded project management. We will upgrade the term "bleeding-edge". If you scale efficiently, you may have to integrate holistically. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. Without well-chosen networks, solutions are forced to become strategic. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to mesh dynamically. We will grow the capacity of client-focused bandwidth to syndicate. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing new ultra-cyber-micro-super-short-term methodologies? We think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to incentivize micro-perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to morph cyber-iteravely than to actualize perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We often streamline 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? We will add to our power to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The six-sigma process management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think intra-social-network-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed TQC and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the aptitude of methodologies to engineer. We will inflate our power to iterate without depreciating our power to upgrade. If you grow globally, you may have to implement interactively. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capacity to envisioneer micro-cyber-perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize dynamically. We will seize the power of metrics to benchmark. The metrics for web-enabled research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The capacity to utilize super-super-magnetically leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. We realize that it is better to transition virally than to envisioneer perfectly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will empower the standard industry term "distributed". Think innovative. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also morph efficiently. If you harness virtually, you may have to maximize interactively. We will multiply our capacity to enhance without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging applications?