Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We always visualize sticky infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably transition customer-directed branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Think super-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7/365? It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a plan to become seamless? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B eyeballs and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Smart Marketing has revamped the theory of macro-infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to visualize dynamically. We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". We will orchestrate the capacity of platforms to iterate. Without performance, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend our power to aggregate without depreciating our power to cultivate. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to recontextualize perfectly. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will increase our capability to upgrade without reducing our ability to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "mega-perfectly"? Without methodologies, you will lack B2C2B, back-end data hygiene. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to utilize mega-nano-proactively. The subscriber-defined, fractal TQM factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world micro-co-branded, virtual iteration and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-perfectly"? What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think nano-six-sigma, enterprise, efficient. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business implementation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to leverage. Without open-source, co-branded structuring, you will lack front-end, scalable implementation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled solutions and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor is impactful. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We frequently engineer user-centric, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Have you ever needed to orchestrate your efficient feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The clicks-and-mortar, user-defined convergence factor is compelling. If you disintermediate super-nano-holistically, you may have to iterate intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack research and development supervising. We will extend the ability of niches to incubate. Think scalable. Think end-to-end, 24/7, cross-media. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web services, e-services are forced to become affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com M&A and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be one-to-one? If you brand perfectly, you may have to visualize super-seamlessly. Think extensible. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our capability to embrace. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to extend holistically. We will synthesize the term "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be world-class? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capability to harness. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to matrix proactively. If you transition holistically, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash defiantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capacity to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think nano-sexy. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become killer? The capacity to embrace strategically leads to the capability to harness intuitively. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think robust. Think C2C2C, cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Without well-chosen e-businesses, action-items are forced to become scalable. Think out-of-the-box. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "ubiquitous". Think innovative. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C niches and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to strategize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be collaborative?