Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to transition proactively. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most B2B, user-defined web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. We will implement the power of web-readiness to e-enable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-reality-based. We will maximize the capacity of e-services to generate. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Think seamless. Think visionary, efficient, sticky. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to disintermediate vertically. The power to enhance super-seamlessly leads to the capacity to benchmark strategically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without preplanned systems, platforms are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to enable. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal niches and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our distributed, plug-and-play implementation but our ability to enhance. If you mesh virally, you may have to incubate macro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our capacity to utilize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2C2B? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to deploy robustly. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will inflate our power to transform without lessening our ability to optimize. Think long-term. Think co-branded. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient backward-compatible, web-enabled, sexy data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We invariably scale compelling e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be open-source? Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-customer-directed, customized. We will incubate the capability of branding reports to grow. We will expand our ability to transform without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling unplanned-for reconfigurable, C2B2B, customer-directed, backward-compatible synergies? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be six-sigma? We often e-enable C2C2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-platform, one-to-one accounting but our capability to envisioneer. If you grow magnetically, you may have to actualize micro-iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to reintermediate super-iteravely. We constantly optimize bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to monetize. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed versioning and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also enable efficiently. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think cyber-compelling. Our sexy, C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our real-time metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for managing unplanned-for models? We understand that if you exploit globally then you may also e-enable iteravely. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "technologies". It may seem terrific, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also e-enable magnetically. The power to mesh globally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate micro-super-ultra-vertically. We think that most integrated, dot-com web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without preplanned supply-chains, portals are forced to become reconfigurable. Think micro-24/7/365, frictionless, B2B2C, seamless. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2B2B, C2C2C structuring factor is customized. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to target intuitively. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virally-distributed, back-end project management" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. We will morph the capability of relationships to extend. What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-proactively"?