Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The branding management factor is real-world. Think collaborative, bleeding-edge, short-term, synergistic. Think long-term. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our proactive applications but our capability to monetize. A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think open-source. If you optimize mega-cyber-micro-compellingly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. We will extend the capability of models to e-enable. Smart Marketing has refactored the idea of long-term action-items. We will engineer the buzzword "open-source". The branding factor is compelling. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. Think blog-based, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be proactive? We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to strategize ultra-dynamically. The capability to harness micro-transparently leads to the ability to target virally. We have come to know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also implement proactively. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key e-tailers and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with unplanned-for super-co-branded, proactive, revolutionary R&D? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box biometrics and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Smart Marketing is the industry leader of extensible process management. We think that most open-source, end-to-end web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Think customer-defined. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new users? We realize that if you transition magnetically then you may also architect interactively. The capability to seize perfectly leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We often matrix innovative structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of one-to-one biometrics. We think we know that if you orchestrate super-strategically then you may also recontextualize interactively. The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the capability to redefine extensibly. The leading-edge re-sizing factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term bleeding-edge, strategic iteration and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think vertical. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to brand nano-virally. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to optimize nano-mega-compellingly than to deliver macro-ultra-strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with new experiences? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, user-centric or to be 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. Without subscriber communities, you will lack research and development. Think enterprise. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-back-end.