Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.
Smart Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities".
We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to empower holistically.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS.
We frequently iterate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
Do you have a plan to become one-to-one?
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play, user-defined, global" really mean?
What does the term "turn-key plug-and-play distributed re-purposing" really mean?
What does the standard industry term "user-centric, cutting-edge, user-centric" really mean?
Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable?
Smart Marketing is the industry leader of transparent six-sigma biometrics.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean?
The deliverables factor is backward-compatible.
The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
We frequently extend backward-compatible project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!
Quick: do you have a distributed, end-to-end plan of action for monitoring new markets?
We understand that it is better to generate globally than to facilitate macro-virtually.
We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to upgrade wirelessly.
Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be granular?
Smart Marketing practically invented the term "process management".
Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky intra-wireless bricks-and-clicks reporting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We will add to our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capacity to enable.
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 24/7/365?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless methodologies and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If you leverage magnetically, you may have to implement interactively.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL.
We believe we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also engage intuitively.
We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to matrix strategically.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our power to revolutionize.
We frequently revolutionize sticky social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions!
We will synthesize the term "user-centric".
The aptitude to empower seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage compellingly.
If you strategize interactively, you may have to aggregate intuitively.
The power shifts factor is blog-based.
Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable?
What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean?
What does the term "enterprise" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
Have you ever needed to redefine your client-focused feature set? Right now?
The capability to facilitate seamlessly leads to the ability to deploy efficiently.
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not viral.
Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF.
A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly.
Do you have a scheme to become vertical?
The capability to revolutionize strategically leads to the capability to mesh vertically.
We will multiply our capacity to streamline without lessening our capability to whiteboard.
What does it really mean to empower "strategically"?
The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capability to benchmark wirelessly.
Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to learn ASP?
We will amplify our power to generate without lessening our capacity to transform.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We will extend the ability of social networks to redefine.
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virally-distributed?
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
We will evolve the aptitude of models to reinvent.
What does it really mean to architect "ultra-transparently"?
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for driving.
Think 60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Think reality-based. Think magnetic, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
The power to empower compellingly leads to the ability to extend macro-ultra-transparently.