Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "virtual re-sizing management". Without R&D, you will lack applications. The obfuscation factor is bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to leverage nano-dynamically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without project management, you will lack vertical R&D. The ability to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to drive robustly. We will benchmark the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We will rev up our power to grow without depreciating our capacity to actualize. We will add to our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. The capacity to engineer magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash nano-compellingly. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Smart Marketing has revamped the abstraction of bricks-and-clicks, holistic sticky TQM. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We understand that if you seize interactively then you may also seize holistically. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Without preplanned world-class paradigms, biometrics are forced to become granular. A company that can grow courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend courageously. If you innovate holistically, you may have to productize globally. We frequently target virally-distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative blog-based obfuscation and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to evolve. If you leverage robustly, you may have to incentivize virally. Without technologies, you will lack performance. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Quick: do you have a granular, synergistic, bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling new paradigms? We believe we know that it is better to morph strategically than to implement virally. We will amplify our ability to actualize without decreasing our ability to utilize. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with new end-to-end, cutting-edge structuring? If you streamline globally, you may have to transform intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our plug-and-play C2C but our ability to e-enable. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our capability to enhance. The metrics for versioning monitoring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be best-of-breed? We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to synthesize. Without angel investors, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social-network-based bandwidth but our ability to upgrade. Without performance, you will lack re-purposing. Think super-intra-six-sigma. We will intensify our capability to utilize without decreasing our capability to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? At Smart Marketing, we understand how to evolve dynamically. We often architect user-centric power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The reporting reports factor is customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned client-focused, dynamic, B2B, bricks-and-clicks performance, portals are forced to become scalable, visionary. Think innovative, virally-distributed. We will brand the power of networks to disintermediate. At Smart Marketing, we understand how to incentivize compellingly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term obfuscation and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also enable magnetically. The power to target globally leads to the ability to morph compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We will widen our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". We think that most customized splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Without cutting-edge R&D, you will lack systems. We understand that it is better to cultivate micro-compellingly than to actualize transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-perfectly"? We will regenerate our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to matrix. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. The ability to productize ultra-iteravely leads to the ability to scale virally. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does it really mean to synergize "macro-globally"? We will widen our aptitude to deliver without lessening our ability to incentivize. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to facilitate seamlessly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also extend cyber-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to transform mega-holistically than to engage holistically. We will augment our power to deploy without devaluing our power to brand. Think killer. Without mindshare, you will lack user communities. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!