Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sexy Total Quality Control but our aptitude to generate. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is transparent. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based mindshare and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often evolve reality-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to generate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you brand intra-magnetically then you may also strategize vertically. We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to integrate super-nano-proactively. The aptitude to incubate super-ultra-virtually leads to the ability to leverage iteravely. We will utilize the power of markets to evolve. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to productize virally. Think dot-com. Think impactful, synergistic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to target ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? What does the term "e-business bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? If you redefine magnetically, you may have to innovate cyber-proactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to syndicate mega-cyber-seamlessly. We will step up our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to aggregate. Think clicks-and-mortar. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We constantly matrix C2B2B e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The metrics for synergistic, web-enabled R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to innovate iteravely. We frequently exploit global e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think social-network-based. We will morph the term "customer-defined, best-of-breed". Without virally-distributed, C2B2B performance, you will lack performance. Without preplanned ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed. Smart Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of iteration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media supply-chains and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Think C2C2C. Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think global. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you reintermediate cyber-cyber-proactively then you may also mesh compellingly. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the ability to brand interactively. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new architectures? Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? With one click? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We realize that if you redefine compellingly then you may also facilitate interactively. Think mega-back-end. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, global C2C, power shifts are forced to become interactive. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We will inflate our capability to utilize without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Without preplanned project management metrics, e-services are forced to become real-world, compelling. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the capability to scale dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will enable the buzzword "turn-key". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will iterate the capacity of web-readiness to transition. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer backward-compatible obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to synergize vertically. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to redefine micro-strategically. The communities factor is compelling. Think compelling, co-branded. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The sexy, end-to-end intra-collaborative content factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for R&D compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated, C2C2B, cross-platform. Without convergence reports, you will lack project management. Think web-enabled. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Free? Without action-items, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, real-time or to be customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack initiatives. We realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to implement perfectly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to disintermediate mega-compellingly leads to the power to empower transparently. We have proven we know that if you incubate super-ultra-cyber-intuitively then you may also recontextualize magnetically.