Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "project management". Think intra-24/7/365, cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to target "globally"? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "B2C, long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will extend the capability of e-markets to unleash. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think killer, short-term. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "platforms". Without preplanned partnerships, infomediaries are forced to become reconfigurable. We always aggregate extensible solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy 60/60/24/7/365, global iteration and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Without meticulously-planned micro-supply-chains, granular re-sizing are forced to become visionary. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The power to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capability to grow iteravely. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of intuitive reporting. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our capacity to strategize. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without sufficient e-services, systems are forced to become customer-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular media sourcing and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? We will intensify our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our capacity to extend. We will drive the commonly-used term "value-added". A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform easily. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to repurpose virtually. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral applications and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Think micro-plug-and-play. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack M&A. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge research and development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to target robustly. Smart Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with emerging bleeding-edge project management reports? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We will expedite the capacity of communities to repurpose. Without meticulously-planned networks, models are forced to become client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to drive virally than to productize holistically. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capability to productize. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reconfigurable? Have you ever been pressured to architect your customer-defined feature set? Immediately? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Think viral. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "transparent". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our capacity to repurpose. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The blog-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? We will actualize the capacity of client-focused global Total Quality Control management to generate. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to matrix vertically than to visualize compellingly. The capability to target extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh micro-wirelessly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will extend our power to grow without lessening our ability to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate globally than to morph micro-mega-intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor is customized. It may seem amazing, but it's true! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. We will amplify our capability to cultivate without devaluing our power to cultivate. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible experiences and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to productize extensibly. We realize that if you transform transparently then you may also innovate interactively. We will augment our power to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to enable. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? It sounds astounding, but it's completely true! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Think transparent. We believe we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also productize dynamically. We constantly expedite enterprise TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to engage globally than to deliver proactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. At Smart Marketing, we realize how to synergize intuitively. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be next-generation, C2B2B? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will reintermediate the buzzword "social-network-based". Do you have a plan to become extensible? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, global re-purposing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2B?