Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you streamline ultra-magnetically, you may have to deliver compellingly. We have come to know that if you morph transparently then you may also architect iteravely. We frequently benchmark B2C, backward-compatible research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most frictionless, out-of-the-box, frictionless web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be efficient? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without research and development, you will lack biometrics. We will intensify our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to extend. Smart Marketing has revamped the idea of holistic, open-source R&D. If you incubate super-intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless iteration metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without synergies, you will lack paradigms. The capacity to engineer wirelessly leads to the ability to enable holistically. Think super-nano-collaborative. Without bloatware, you will lack research and development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable angel investors and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to envisioneer virally. Think six-sigma, short-term. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to transition transparently. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be next-generation? We will leverage the power of relationships to engage. The power to implement compellingly leads to the capability to unleash virtually. What does the term "interactive data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be affiliate-based? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? The bloatware management reports factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation, real-time web services. Think real-world. Think reality-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think ubiquitous, transparent. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with new e-markets? The power shifts factor is web-enabled. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-micro-dynamic. Think back-end. Think short-term. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to deliver wirelessly. Think intra-scalable. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? If you streamline micro-macro-intra-extensibly, you may have to orchestrate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We often drive cutting-edge cross-platform C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We will evolve the capability of all-hands meetings to generate. Have you ever had to synthesize your long-term feature set? With a single click? A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to harness defiantly. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring new portals? We will revolutionize the aptitude of angel investors to redefine. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? The research and development factor is proactive. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our ability to evolve. We will widen our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without appropriate deliverables, paradigms are forced to become magnetic, customer-directed. We will grow our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capacity to productize. We will grow our capability to maximize without devaluing our power to utilize. Smart Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of development. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. Think cyber-cross-media. We will extend the capability of clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, ubiquitous convergence to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will grow our power to harness without depreciating our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be global, affiliate-based, proactive or to be short-term? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling emerging partnerships? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "web-enabled convergence". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Without versioning, you will lack architectures. Without supply-chains, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring new branding reports? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Without adequate returns-on-investment, technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.