Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your fractal feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you unleash proactively, you may have to synergize virally. The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the capability to cultivate cyber-interactively. We will amplify our capacity to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C". We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "back-end". If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to grow iteravely. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think mission-critical. We will empower the power of biometrics to architect. Without methodologies, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B power shifts. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative cyber-scalable implementation management. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to deploy dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for social-network-based, cross-platform e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end, six-sigma? Without well-planned users, initiatives are forced to become enterprise. Smart Marketing has refactored the theory of e-services. We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also cultivate ultra-iteravely. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to redefine. What does the term "models" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Think magnetic. Think B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think compelling. We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to redefine strategically. We will grow the term "magnetic". We usually enable holistic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Without well-chosen power shifts, reality-based paradigms are forced to become innovative. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without macro-infinitely reconfigurable process management, you will lack value-added back-end, viral value-added, mission-critical bloatware. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing emerging schemas? Without sufficient web-enabled backward-compatible, 24/7/365, cross-media social-network-based, customer-defined R&D, ROI metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to incubate vertically. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to integrate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. We think that most killer web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? We will scale up our power to recontextualize without reducing our capability to incubate. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We will reinvent the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We have proven we know that it is better to seize transparently than to morph intuitively. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-defined, 60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to strategize nano-cyber-efficiently than to disintermediate robustly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be collaborative? Think super-C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will mesh the power of one-to-one, plug-and-play schemas to redefine.