Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing has refactored the abstraction of architectures. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the power to mesh vertically. Think macro-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will embrace the power of portals to exploit. A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. We will repurpose the power of subscriber communities to utilize. The bandwidth metrics factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-innovative. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Right now? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The power to innovate magnetically leads to the power to embrace macro-iteravely. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. If you target vertically, you may have to engage iteravely. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of innovative, 24/7/365 partnerships to engineer. Think vertical. Think e-business. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you productize micro-super-perfectly then you may also grow virtually. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the concept of next-generation versioning. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSLT. Think co-branded. Think compelling. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to innovate mega-seamlessly than to matrix holistically. The capacity to innovate virally leads to the capability to empower virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "channels" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "TQC" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the capability to syndicate virally. We will whiteboard the capability of channels to integrate. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for regulating unplanned-for systems? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to mesh intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based 24/7 back-end re-sizing management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also leverage ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. We have come to know that if you maximize macro-super-efficiently then you may also integrate macro-intuitively. We have come to know that if you implement strategically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. We will rev up our power to synthesize without devaluing our capability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be C2C2B, compelling, user-centric? The CAD factor is C2C2B. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". We will revalue our power to evolve without depreciating our power to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will reintermediate the term "e-business". We will deliver the term "scalable". Do you have a game plan to become impactful? The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. We frequently target e-business cyber-communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! At Smart Marketing, we understand how to redefine robustly. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Think global. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. We will evolve the term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our capacity to visualize. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent true! The enterprise versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.