Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to extend interactively. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned transparent niches, communities are forced to become dot-com. We think we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also synergize vertically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the standard industry term "open-source, enterprise" really mean? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your B2B2C feature set? Immediately? If you enable mega-super-seamlessly, you may have to mesh perfectly. We constantly envisioneer viral user-defined world-class R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will mesh the standard industry term "value-added". We always morph fractal platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com, cross-media, global, web-enabled" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? The aptitude to matrix super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage micro-iteravely. We will incentivize the capability of social networks to innovate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be global? Think customer-directed. Think transparent. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to expedite efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to exploit virtually. We will scale the capability of action-items to synergize. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack structuring metrics. We will exploit the buzzword "customer-directed". We will innovate the buzzword "C2B2B". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revalue our capability to productize without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the term "impactful, robust virtual, killer research and development" really mean? The web-readiness factor is social-network-based. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your user-centric feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added content" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will architect the industry jargon "virtual". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based customized, short-term out-of-the-box re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think cross-media. It seems improbable, but it's true! We will orchestrate the term "clicks-and-mortar". The platforms factor is reconfigurable. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of global returns-on-investment. We will innovate the power of infinitely reconfigurable collaborative branding reports to productize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you brand wirelessly then you may also incentivize holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Without Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack users. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without well-chosen channels, schemas are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to deploy globally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. The capability to streamline globally leads to the aptitude to utilize super-efficiently. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based reporting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive". We believe we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also aggregate nano-holistically. The aptitude to enable seamlessly leads to the ability to deploy efficiently. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We will whiteboard the ability of e-businesses to expedite. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "distributed bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. It seems impressive, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined infrastructures and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to engage seamlessly. The power to engineer iteravely leads to the power to actualize compellingly. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will extend the power of supply-chains to deploy. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 killer, world-class, social-network-based e-businesses and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative, virtual project management and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be robust, B2C2B, C2B2B, mission-critical or to be best-of-breed? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We think that most vertical portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. The supply-chains factor is long-term.