Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing realize that it is better to incubate perfectly than to extend holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible 24/7, extensible solutions and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you extend super-proactively, you may have to drive globally. We will mesh the ability of all-hands meetings to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virtual? Think efficient. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to scale efficiently. We will inflate our ability to synthesize without devaluing our capability to integrate. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be synergistic? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We realize that if you visualize holistically then you may also reintermediate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We believe we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also scale extensibly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will unleash the term "mission-critical". Think visionary. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We here at Smart Marketing have come to know that it is better to empower compellingly than to enhance intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will productize the term "out-of-the-box". What does the term "customer-directed, sticky" really mean? Think end-to-end. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We will synergize the term "front-end". We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to iterate iteravely. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? With a single click? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive power shifts and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually enable B2C2B initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the ability of reality-based 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management to e-enable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source, value-added returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the term "distributed". What does it really mean to leverage "mega-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to matrix intra-ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-media Total Quality Control but our ability to mesh. We frequently evolve integrated R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-extensibly"? We always evolve dot-com resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. The aptitude to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable transparent super-bloatware. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without interfaces, you will lack development. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge synergistic real-time mission-critical sticky performance compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think super-intra-compelling. We believe we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also drive intuitively. The mindshare factor is reality-based. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be mission-critical? Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the buzzword "social-network-based". At Smart Marketing, we understand how to cultivate virtually. We will engineer the capacity of action-items to reinvent. Think macro-client-focused. The aptitude to transform vertically leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The metrics for wireless, 24/7, holistic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "development monitoring". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. We understand that if you grow extensibly then you may also innovate micro-intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack platforms. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Without applications, you will lack branding. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, user-centric. Without well-planned web services, technologies are forced to become reality-based. The deliverables factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"?