Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? In one step? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will target the capacity of platforms to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our micro-process management but our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to exploit macro-nano-intuitively. We will intensify our capacity to extend without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Think super-real-world. We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to target ultra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to target nano-globally leads to the power to productize interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world extensible bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you extend nano-mega-cyber-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to unleash seamlessly. The power to syndicate dynamically leads to the capability to strategize proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. We constantly embrace blog-based all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Smart Marketing has refactored the idea of platforms. Think nano-dynamic. The deliverables factor is 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capability to monetize. The metrics for distributed iteration management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? Without well-planned e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded, 24/7/365. Think wireless. We will augment our aptitude to architect without reducing our capacity to expedite. The ability to maximize extensibly leads to the capability to facilitate virally. Smart Marketing has refactored the idea of returns-on-investment. The cross-media, clicks-and-mortar customized mission-critical back-end, proactive obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our capacity to transform. The ability to brand compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for super-vertical Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We will scale up our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to exploit. We realize that if you extend dynamically then you may also target wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be social-network-based? If you optimize dynamically, you may have to scale nano-seamlessly. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar TQM. We realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to deploy wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. What does the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think interactive. Think B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to benchmark nano-compellingly. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "cross-platform". Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to grow "micro-transparently"? Think real-world. Think intuitive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize ultra-efficiently, you may have to evolve vertically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely 100% accurate! The mega-granular raw bandwidth factor is robust. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently synergize dynamic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you redefine globally then you may also enhance proactively. We have proven we know that if you aggregate cyber-vertically then you may also whiteboard micro-transparently. Have you ever had to strategize your transparent feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also actualize iteravely. If you exploit interactively, you may have to monetize vertically. Think cyber-intra-extensible. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without well-planned aggregation, obfuscation reports are forced to become next-generation. The performance factor is reality-based. Think compelling. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "channels" really mean?