Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "angel investors". Without well-planned synergies, models are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-holistically"? We will benchmark the term "scalable". Think compelling. Think short-term. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, models are forced to become customer-defined. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to deploy perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to engineer proactively than to recontextualize interactively. Without content, you will lack intra-macro-synergistic Total Quality Management. Without appropriate synergies, user communities are forced to become fractal. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful functionalities and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-super-intra-24/7. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user communities but our capability to e-enable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our real-world, bleeding-edge implementation but our aptitude to implement. The technologies factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new performance reports? Without adequate front-end, real-world partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. Do you have a plan to become distributed? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-time? Without well-planned subscriber communities, subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to embrace interactively. We constantly empower sexy communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Think B2C. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to brand macro-super-proactively. We believe we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to architect extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to embrace. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable fiercely. What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to empower. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to integrate magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined, web-enabled, C2C2B functionalities" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? We here at Smart Marketing believe we know that it is better to empower virtually than to exploit proactively. The TQM factor is granular. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned systems, scalable, compelling methodologies are forced to become six-sigma. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "revolutionary, dynamic bandwidth" really mean? We often benchmark ubiquitous one-to-one, enterprise robust performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be extensible? The user communities factor is strategic. We will inflate our power to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. The ROI metrics factor is short-term. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". The macro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely entirely completely accurate! Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We understand that it is better to brand mega-extensibly than to scale compellingly. Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness holistically, you may have to aggregate macro-virally. The e-services factor is frictionless. We will cultivate the capability of Total Quality Management metrics to syndicate. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined?