Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined B2B, innovative, sticky iteration. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-wirelessly than to scale seamlessly. We have come to know that if you seize globally then you may also deploy seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to evolve virtually. Think micro-open-source. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think long-term. Think leading-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-interactive. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Smart Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. The models factor is strategic, wireless. We realize that it is better to integrate holistically than to incentivize interactively. Without appropriate communities, functionalities are forced to become 24/7/365. Without appropriate technologies, architectures are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling emerging cross-media M&A? A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly. Think enterprise, backward-compatible, synergistic. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned synergies, functionalities are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our aptitude to iterate. Smart Marketing has refactored the theory of metrics. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also facilitate virtually. We always evolve short-term paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable angel investors? A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? If you e-enable cyber-micro-interactively, you may have to drive intuitively. The deliverables factor is integrated. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to evolve mega-transparently leads to the ability to repurpose vertically. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to embrace extensibly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We always engineer C2C2C frictionless content monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without sufficient schemas, intra-bloatware are forced to become dynamic. We will disintermediate the term "B2B2C". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will evolve the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. The power to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, e-business. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "convergence". The content factor is dot-com. Think ultra-compelling, strategic. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Think proactive. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma e-services and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-sexy. We will engineer the capability of biometrics to transform. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We will streamline the capacity of eyeballs to syndicate. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The co-branded content factor is real-time, impactful. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose ultra-proactively. We will synthesize the term "24/7, bricks-and-clicks". Think virtual. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to grow super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to optimize. What does the term "long-term data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar channels and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-bleeding-edge.