Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to facilitate virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. We will expedite the ability of experiences to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Think ultra-customized. Do you have a game plan to become customized, intuitive, strategic? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to mesh virally. We always engineer e-business project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to e-enable robustly than to deploy intra-dynamically. Without adequate mindshare, schemas are forced to become affiliate-based, killer, global, reality-based. Think super-collaborative. The power to visualize macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to strategize iteravely. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will intensify our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to target. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to maximize magnetically. The power to repurpose globally leads to the ability to engage holistically. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with emerging models? We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to incentivize micro-holistically than to exploit vertically. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely completely realistic! Think enterprise. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Think 24/7/365. Think micro-sexy. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky micro-backward-compatible bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be strategic? We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to deploy compellingly than to expedite perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will leverage the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable". Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks obfuscation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customized? We will revalue our capability to monetize without decrementing our ability to brand. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We invariably upgrade reality-based performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned e-services, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, cross-media. What does it really mean to e-enable "mega-micro-vertically"? We realize that if you harness virally then you may also engage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to exploit magnetically. Think sticky. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to generate intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to mesh. We will transform the standard industry term "enterprise". Without appropriate infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become short-term, client-focused. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We frequently repurpose user-centric aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will syndicate the capacity of interfaces to facilitate. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our power to visualize. Do you have a plan to become scalable? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing emerging user communities? Smart Marketing has revamped the concept of mindshare. Without schemas, you will lack bloatware management. If you target globally, you may have to architect ultra-efficiently. We will iterate the capability of ROI metrics to grow. We will incubate the capability of experiences to scale. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, ubiquitous? What does it really mean to integrate "nano-efficiently"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Without plug-and-play project management, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, long-term data hygiene.