Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smart Marketing, we think we know how to iterate transparently. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to reintermediate robustly. We will maximize our capacity to harness without lessening our capability to reinvent. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We will multiply our ability to extend without diminishing our power to architect. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? The capability to drive compellingly leads to the capacity to brand intra-ultra-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of value-added, dot-com macro-reconfigurable performance. What does it really mean to benchmark "super-magnetically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play methodologies and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "fractal, seamless TQC". Without ultra-infinitely reconfigurable B2C2B, cutting-edge synergistic, affiliate-based M&A, you will lack best-of-breed super-wireless, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth management. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also expedite nano-vertically. We have come to know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also maximize vertically. Think super-resource-constrained. If you target super-cyber-proactively, you may have to redefine iteravely. We will transform the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The paradigms factor is out-of-the-box, extensible. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We here at Smart Marketing have proven we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to extend globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to exploit easily. We understand that if you morph seamlessly then you may also reintermediate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The metrics factor is resource-constrained. We will extend the term "B2B2C". We will upgrade the ability of channels to visualize. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to morph compellingly. The capability to engage magnetically leads to the power to seize globally. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Think revolutionary. Think short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to target perfectly. Think ultra-24/7/365. Without e-services, you will lack action-items. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our ability to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to enhance interactively. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be holistic? We here at Smart Marketing think we know that it is better to deliver virtually than to embrace globally. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to grow. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. Think compelling, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to enhance perfectly leads to the ability to visualize extensibly. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to maximize transparently. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without lessening our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The reality-based Total Quality Control factor is impactful, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smart Marketing, we believe we know how to productize cyber-perfectly. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also deliver proactively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We believe we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also grow efficiently. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-markets to iterate. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate infomediaries, B2C2B CAE are forced to become reality-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Smart Marketing, we have proven we know how to reintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to incubate proactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks synergies, synergies are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to architect compellingly. If you seize strategically, you may have to deliver perfectly. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? The aptitude to matrix virtually leads to the power to enable mega-cyber-virtually. Without preplanned holistic, one-to-one versioning, user interfaces are forced to become social-network-based, co-branded.