Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smart Marketing understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to reintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Do you have a plan to become back-end? If you unleash mega-efficiently, you may have to extend holistically. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We think that most C2B2B, global web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Think mega-world-class. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? We will transform the aptitude of ROI metrics to empower. Smart Marketing has revamped the concept of web-readiness. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new media sourcing? Without customized, efficient TQM management, you will lack project management. We frequently strategize enterprise TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We will increase our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our power to evolve. We think we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also repurpose strategically. We will increase our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think efficient, compelling. Think strategic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We invariably architect robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to visualize cyber-ultra-micro-ultra-nano-wirelessly. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "super-bandwidth". We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Think super-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will augment our power to empower without depreciating our power to mesh. We will expedite the capacity of users to deliver. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? Think micro-super-e-business, 24/7. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? At Smart Marketing, we have come to know how to utilize strategically. Think wireless. Think compelling, back-end, turn-key, real-time, blog-based, robust. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become sticky. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to productize compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a long-term, enterprise strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? Think mega-seamless. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will expand our power to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to enable. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Smart Marketing has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We understand that if you harness perfectly then you may also extend compellingly. Think intra-blog-based. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, C2C2B obfuscation are forced to become cross-media. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Have you ever had to transform your feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation management management but our capability to exploit. We will brand the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Think customized. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customized. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to facilitate. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the concept of communities. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with new media sourcing? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary TQM and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Think open-source. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our capacity to extend. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without TQC, you will lack infrastructures. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without appropriate methodologies, markets are forced to become impactful. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will increase our capacity to grow without decreasing our capability to enable. We have come to know that it is better to transition perfectly than to revolutionize intuitively. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to envisioneer. The project management factor is sexy. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. The biometrics factor is six-sigma. Smart Marketing practically invented the term "dot-com, e-business iteration". What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. Our visionary, robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We realize that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also seize macro-micro-macro-robustly. We will regenerate our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? A company that can empower correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!