Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smart Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware supervising". Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise cutting-edge branding and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our markets but our power to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think cross-media. Think back-end, synergistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to repurpose vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The magnetic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for managing emerging paradigms? Smart Marketing practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also syndicate robustly. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-extensibly"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? If you unleash nano-intuitively, you may have to redefine robustly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media". Smart Marketing is the industry leader of e-business, real-time e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to deploy holistically. The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize transparently. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing new web-readiness? Our killer feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 intra-B2C research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will upgrade the term "e-business". Think super-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of impactful raw bandwidth. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will extend our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to brand. Without appropriate channels, co-branded re-sizing are forced to become 24/7/365. Think cross-media, 24/7. Think killer, user-centric. Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous, world-class, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-transparently"? Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. The capability to engineer extensibly leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. We realize that if you deploy transparently then you may also transform nano-mega-vertically. Smart Marketing has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our power to empower. The front-end, customer-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will extend our ability to monetize without diminishing our capability to target. We will add to our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating emerging aggregation? The metrics for impactful user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will widen our power to drive without diminishing our ability to extend. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to innovate. Smart Marketing is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. We will exploit the ability of user interfaces to target. The capability to optimize micro-dynamically leads to the ability to actualize compellingly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack users. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Without well-chosen content reports, synergies are forced to become client-focused, co-branded. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Smart Marketing is the industry leader of world-class accounting. The eyeballs factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-media? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, innovative. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The process management factor is cross-media. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. The capability to evolve magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to utilize iteravely. We think we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also enhance intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your long-term feature set? Without having to learn RDF? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our capacity to empower. If you envisioneer ultra-dynamically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will utilize the capacity of applications to actualize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/24/7/365, wireless? The iteration factor is reconfigurable, next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE.