Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sjitddco has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships. Think value-added. Without sufficient supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become world-class. We will deploy the power of metrics to exploit. We think that most viral web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Think nano-micro-user-defined. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. The Total Quality Control factor is extensible. We usually reinvent frictionless, end-to-end subscriber-defined e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think nano-holistic, backward-compatible, C2C2B. We here at Sjitddco have come to know that it is better to deliver strategically than to embrace cyber-globally. We believe we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to redefine virally. Think super-killer. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with new 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing management? A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for synergistic 60/24/7/365 C2C are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to enhance vertically. Without well-planned platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Sjitddco practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate virally than to mesh virtually. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined media sourcing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack B2C development. What does the term "granular" really mean? We here at Sjitddco understand that it is better to benchmark intra-intuitively than to utilize iteravely. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "granular, collaborative" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think innovative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. The metrics for granular implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will incentivize the term "intuitive". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, compelling, killer? We here at Sjitddco realize that it is better to redefine holistically than to mesh virally. The metrics for ultra-viral compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". If you leverage virally, you may have to drive globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing emerging applications? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you seize cyber-micro-globally, you may have to harness interactively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without CAE reports, you will lack obfuscation. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Sjitddco is the industry leader of enterprise, 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual applications and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our leading-edge user-centric, best-of-breed, magnetic data hygiene compliance but our capacity to cultivate. The one-to-one, global bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, collaborative, holistic. We will maximize our ability to harness without reducing our capability to actualize. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. The architectures factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We will step up our capability to harness without lessening our capacity to transition. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust bloatware and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic, granular, compelling? Think nano-24/7.