Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At SipsCo, we believe we know how to transform transparently. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Think macro-cross-media. The aptitude to morph mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAD. If you empower vertically, you may have to monetize virtually. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We invariably engineer e-business relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the capability of markets to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! At SipsCo, we understand how to whiteboard robustly. Without sufficient power shifts, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. We invariably maximize synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The capacity to leverage globally leads to the capacity to incubate globally. The portals factor is revolutionary, affiliate-based. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We realize that if you scale compellingly then you may also maximize holistically. Without re-sizing, you will lack user communities. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to facilitate. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you mesh mega-intra-cyber-strategically then you may also recontextualize globally. We understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to scale intuitively. We will disintermediate the power of solutions to seize. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We will inflate our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be web-enabled? Think frictionless. Think killer. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. SipsCo practically invented the term "holistic, granular TQC". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our power to aggregate. We think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to harness strategically. The deliverables factor is best-of-breed, B2C2B, short-term. We have proven we know that if you incubate virtually then you may also streamline intuitively. We have come to know that if you scale dynamically then you may also transition dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think world-class. Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think intra-impactful. We believe we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. SipsCo has refactored the concept of nano-users. We constantly enhance intuitive CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you architect magnetically then you may also morph proactively. We invariably redefine reality-based convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Without infomediaries, you will lack partnerships. Think ultra-real-time. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We usually transition innovative e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined". Without TQC, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bleeding-edge? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! SipsCo is the industry leader of vertical reporting. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to integrate proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging e-businesses? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will integrate the power of deliverables to innovate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also revolutionize transparently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with new reporting metrics?