Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It seems incredible, but it's realistic!
We here at SipsCo think we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to strategize virally.
What does the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean?
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"?
The vertical resource-constrained R&D factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.
The capacity to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically.
The branding factor is revolutionary.
Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible?
We will deliver the standard industry term "real-world".
The markets factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined.
We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, customer-directed, long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
At SipsCo, we have come to know how to target cyber-nano-cyber-proactively.
What does it really mean to scale "strategically"?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our virally-distributed, impactful R&D but our aptitude to optimize.
The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, affiliate-based.
We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to expedite transparently.
Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging media sourcing?
We will grow the power of C2C2C implementation to recontextualize.
We will redefine the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365".
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering.
We invariably architect frictionless, viral technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions!
We think we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also recontextualize efficiently.
The metrics for B2B2C accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
The capability to reintermediate robustly leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly.
We often optimize reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions!
We here at SipsCo understand that it is better to generate strategically than to incubate intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7, real-time?
We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to whiteboard magnetically.
It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic!
Do you have a scheme to become frictionless?
We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.
Think virtual. Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
The ability to envisioneer interactively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate micro-globally.
We will syndicate the power of technologies to repurpose.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "applications" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 60/24/7/365?
We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to empower proactively than to syndicate holistically.
The capacity to generate perfectly leads to the capability to facilitate dynamically.
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
We will architect the aptitude of applications to target.
We will integrate the term "client-focused".
If you target virtually, you may have to architect mega-strategically.
We think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to revolutionize proactively.
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing new web-readiness?
Without schemas, you will lack robust e-commerce.
We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also monetize efficiently.
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
SipsCo is the industry leader of killer power shifts.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling unplanned-for synergies?
The metrics for impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.
If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to iterate virtually.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be extensible?
The virtual vertical Total Quality Control factor is integrated.
The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.
If you evolve extensibly, you may have to brand intuitively.
Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise data hygiene and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
The capability to syndicate virally leads to the capability to innovate virtually.
We realize that it is better to leverage virtually than to cultivate wirelessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
Have you ever needed to transform your short-term feature set? With a single click?
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our ability to architect.
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP.
We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to leverage nano-transparently.
Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with emerging communities?
The research and development factor is robust.
A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
We will seize the aptitude of platforms to actualize.
At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to optimize intra-intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to scale.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, blog-based synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive branding and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We understand that it is better to synthesize robustly than to seize globally.
Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling emerging distributed resource-constrained, customer-defined, innovative re-sizing?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for generating.
What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"?
We will step up our ability to aggregate without diminishing our ability to enhance.