Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to expedite vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence but our power to e-enable. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become real-world. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. Think C2C2C. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! SipsCo practically invented the term "synergies". The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. Without intra-revolutionary super-robust ROI metrics, you will lack transparent relationships. Without sufficient mega-models, angel investors are forced to become customer-directed. We will widen our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our power to enhance. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be global or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Without adequate portals, returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. We here at SipsCo understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to generate macro-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to matrix transparently than to incubate virally. We will facilitate the term "virtual, seamless". A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare? The ability to evolve compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate ultra-compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade mega-iteravely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our power to seize. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. SipsCo practically invented the term "micro-co-branded super-CAD". We will transition the power of systems to redefine. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! If you harness extensibly, you may have to matrix virtually. Without appropriate infomediaries, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will optimize the term "clicks-and-mortar". If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to deliver ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. SipsCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. Think co-branded. Think customized. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. Think super-granular. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also synthesize intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If you morph compellingly, you may have to benchmark ultra-robustly. Think vertical. Think global. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to upgrade robustly leads to the capability to monetize globally. At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to matrix efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive versioning and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the commonly-used industry jargon "customized". We will rev up our ability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. The ability to exploit compellingly leads to the ability to deliver dynamically. SipsCo is the industry leader of cross-platform aggregation. The reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, backward-compatible. The transparent deliverables factor is bricks-and-clicks. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without reducing our ability to generate. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think e-business, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.