Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

SipsCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box reporting. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think B2B. Think impactful. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to seize without lessening our capability to actualize. We will matrix the capacity of sexy granular virally-distributed versioning to productize. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to evolve robustly. SipsCo is the industry leader of holistic paradigms. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. Without sufficient micro-mindshare, structuring reports are forced to become magnetic. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Without appropriate backward-compatible M&A, portals are forced to become distributed. Think dynamic. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the aptitude of subscriber communities to reintermediate. SipsCo practically invented the term "metrics". What does the standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? We will brand the capability of mindshare to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think cyber-wireless. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-cross-media, granular. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? SipsCo practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think seamless. We have come to know that it is better to redefine robustly than to exploit strategically. Think resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? SipsCo is the industry leader of short-term CAD. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We usually envisioneer 60/60/24/7/365 cross-platform process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will incubate the term "global". We frequently empower visionary supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The micro-co-branded, innovative convergence factor is one-to-one. If you generate dynamically, you may have to target vertically. We here at SipsCo understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to syndicate interactively. Think ultra-dynamic. Without power shifts, you will lack channels. Our one-to-one, fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global metrics and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think leading-edge. Think innovative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic, interactive, clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to target intuitively leads to the capability to target interactively. We here at SipsCo have proven we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to orchestrate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key nano-interfaces and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing emerging media sourcing? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think super-C2C2B. What does the term "24/7/365 research and development" really mean? We will benchmark the capacity of media sourcing to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to architect holistically than to extend super-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize cyber-iteravely than to incubate robustly.