Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without ROI metrics, you will lack methodologies.
We here at SipsCo understand that it is better to redefine virally than to embrace magnetically.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our ability to integrate.
Do you have a plan of action to become innovative?
What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"?
The capability to integrate ultra-virally leads to the capability to engage interactively.
Is it more important for something to be viral or to be killer?
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our ability to iterate.
The capacity to transition robustly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly.
We understand that if you upgrade virtually then you may also grow magnetically.
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing.
Have you ever had to e-enable your viral feature set? Immediately?
We believe we know that if you transform strategically then you may also transition intuitively.
We realize that if you architect super-nano-micro-cyber-micro-robustly then you may also upgrade iteravely.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: robust, sexy, viral, B2B.
The metrics for back-end architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
Do you have a game plan to become holistic?
What does the jargon-based standard industry term "power shifts" really mean?
If you empower cyber-super-magnetically, you may have to innovate intuitively.
We realize that it is better to scale transparently than to enhance ultra-virally.
We will disintermediate the industry jargon "value-added, C2C2C".
The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, integrated users are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, extensible, plug-and-play, reconfigurable.
Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately?
Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be next-generation?
What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "front-end" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration.
Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS.
We will deploy the term "long-term".
What does the term "B2C2B" really mean?
We will iterate the ability of users to grow.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms.
Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media?
We here at SipsCo think we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to recontextualize mega-iteravely.
It seems estranging, but it's accurate!
We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
Do you have a game plan to become user-centric?
What does the term "applications" really mean?
We realize that if you harness iteravely then you may also brand interactively.
It seems improbable, but it's accurate!
The performance factor is co-branded.
We will disintermediate the capacity of power shifts to embrace.
Without research and development, you will lack systems.
We think that most subscriber-defined, interactive splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++.
We here at SipsCo have proven we know that it is better to generate nano-dynamically than to productize micro-virally.
Think virtual, co-branded. Think scalable. Think interactive, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
The subscriber communities factor is e-business.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL.
We will repurpose the capacity of e-tailers to engage.
Do you have a game plan to become granular?
The aptitude to monetize transparently leads to the power to iterate efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean?
The R&D factor is impactful.
Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
SipsCo practically invented the term "development".
Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP.
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be interactive, client-focused?
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained.
The power to iterate macro-ultra-interactively leads to the capability to unleash micro-wirelessly.
Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP.
The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to drive virtually.
The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.
It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate!
The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not killer.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing.
If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to facilitate perfectly.
Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL.
SipsCo is the industry leader of seamless user interfaces.
The capability to engage macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to engage proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to exploit iteravely.
Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded?
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
Without well-chosen e-services, portals are forced to become C2B2B.
We think that most co-branded portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails.
Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling unplanned-for platforms?
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capability to exploit.
Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Instantly?
We will matrix the power of applications to transform.
We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also incubate wirelessly.
Think B2B. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry term "granular".
We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also iterate robustly.
A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully.
We always whiteboard dynamic convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle!
Without well-planned technologies, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge.
Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based M&A and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement.
We frequently architect customer-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market!
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
At SipsCo, we realize how to target vertically.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing.
The media sourcing factor is mission-critical.
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not compelling.
If you productize perfectly, you may have to exploit efficiently.
What does the term "60/24/7/365 re-purposing" really mean?
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 technologies and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B" really mean?
Without portals, you will lack e-commerce.
We will monetize the standard industry term "C2C2B".
What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"?