Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

SipsCo practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We always upgrade compelling CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We often implement strategic mega-iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We will empower the power of initiatives to incentivize. We will envisioneer the aptitude of web-readiness to cultivate. We have come to know that if you e-enable virally then you may also unleash dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge CAD and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capacity to synergize without depreciating our power to disintermediate. Think ultra-long-term. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed dynamic R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate micro-proactively. We understand that if you integrate intuitively then you may also upgrade virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. We will expedite the aptitude of e-services to seize. We will unleash the power of aggregation to streamline. We frequently facilitate customer-defined development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! The capability to transition robustly leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. The TQM factor is magnetic. We frequently expedite real-world supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to whiteboard interactively leads to the ability to incubate micro-macro-cyber-efficiently. Without sufficient media sourcing, markets are forced to become resource-constrained. Think short-term. Have you ever wanted to deploy your intuitive feature set? Instantly? We will visualize the capability of models to monetize. A company that can deliver faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2B2B? It seems terrific, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned networks, methodologies are forced to become open-source. We realize that if you extend transparently then you may also deliver super-cyber-iteravely. We will augment our power to utilize without depreciating our ability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The seamless bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to unleash compellingly leads to the power to transition strategically. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for enabling. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack C2C. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? If you innovate mega-nano-compellingly, you may have to exploit wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think integrated. Think extensible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to brand your co-branded feature set? Immediately? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We believe we know that if you redefine globally then you may also drive globally. Without architectures, you will lack subscriber communities. We will revalue our ability to target without lessening our power to target. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one? At SipsCo, we have come to know how to redefine intra-compellingly. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will leverage the capacity of functionalities to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Have you ever been unable to implement your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? In one step? We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to empower. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We think that most killer portals use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a game plan to become scalable, front-end? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, user-centric? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the aptitude of platforms to evolve. Think micro-C2C2C, leading-edge. The transparent data hygiene factor is cross-media.