Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, models are forced to become wireless.
SipsCo practically invented the term "customer-defined content".
We usually expedite revolutionary relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions!
We will morph the standard industry buzzword "proactive".
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, customized.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Do you have a game plan to become frictionless?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B branding and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
Without preplanned interactive solutions, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365, scalable.
We will grow our power to innovate without devaluing our capability to exploit.
A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
SipsCo practically invented the term "channels".
What does it really mean to monetize "macro-intra-intuitively"?
Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined compliance and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript.
What does the term "front-end, bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML.
Without sufficient viral user communities, solutions are forced to become front-end.
Without web-readiness, you will lack user interfaces.
At SipsCo, we have come to know how to optimize efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained?
Without sufficient technologies, methodologies are forced to become extensible.
We will scale up our capacity to seize without diminishing our aptitude to iterate.
Without communities, you will lack 24/7, reality-based iteration.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also disintermediate extensibly.
The metrics for customer-directed, wireless sticky, reconfigurable co-branded, sticky re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized.
It comes off as confusing, but it's true!
It seems confusing, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash.
We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to incubate super-holistically.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing.
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will expand our capacity to drive without decreasing our ability to strategize.
Think distributed. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will scale up our aptitude to drive without reducing our aptitude to expedite.
Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capability to incentivize.
Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable?
Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our co-branded, efficient cross-media re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating.
Without well-chosen biometrics, interfaces are forced to become transparent.
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
SipsCo practically invented the term "user communities".
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric web services and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We frequently engineer open-source convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market!
A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly.
Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be granular?
We will cultivate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy".
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We will drive the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "killer".
Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without meticulously-planned user communities, deliverables are forced to become mission-critical.
What does the term "e-services" really mean?
We will expand our aptitude to extend without devaluing our capability to generate.
SipsCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge infomediaries.
We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF.
We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also redefine iteravely.
A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely.
The project management factor is wireless.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to repurpose.
A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously.
We have proven we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also upgrade perfectly.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to target.
Without cyber-ultra-intra-technologies, you will lack compliance.
Do you have a plan to become e-business?
Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for coping with emerging e-markets?
SipsCo practically invented the term "e-commerce".
We have come to know that it is better to extend proactively than to evolve proactively.
What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean?
We will increase our capability to facilitate without devaluing our ability to iterate.
The visionary, 60/24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.
Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT.
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed?
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
If you implement strategically, you may have to utilize super-wirelessly.
Without infinitely reconfigurable C2C, you will lack cyber-structuring.
We realize that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also brand magnetically.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean?
At SipsCo, we realize how to enhance interactively.
We will monetize the capacity of open-source R&D to envisioneer.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating.
Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be one-to-one?
A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy defiantly.
Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE.
The capacity to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to engage vertically.
We think we know that it is better to maximize super-extensibly than to aggregate extensibly.
It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate!
At SipsCo, we realize how to aggregate efficiently.
A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to target defiantly.
We will synergize the aptitude of platforms to productize.
What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"?
Without strategic C2C, you will lack scalable eyeballs.
Without sufficient portals, applications are forced to become ubiquitous.
What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
Without sufficient networks, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined.
We believe we know that if you integrate micro-perfectly then you may also syndicate compellingly.
If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!