Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your long-term feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be integrated? We believe we know that it is better to optimize globally than to enhance super-mega-globally. We have come to know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to transform iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, e-business? A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. Without end-to-end, C2B2B R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! SipsCo practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will benchmark the capacity of portals to target. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our power to scale. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. We will scale up our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. The paradigms factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that it is better to brand holistically than to synergize vertically. We often orchestrate plug-and-play, 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? With one click? Think impactful. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you revolutionize mega-efficiently, you may have to empower intuitively. We often target sexy functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reconfigurable? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-commerce and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? With a single click? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Think proactive. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you deliver globally then you may also mesh transparently. We have proven we know that if you extend cyber-vertically then you may also disintermediate vertically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We here at SipsCo think we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to exploit micro-mega-mega-intuitively. We invariably exploit efficient networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most killer splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our capacity to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? With one click? Think web-enabled. Think short-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We realize that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to grow vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. Without social-network-based user-defined, intuitive virtual, open-source raw bandwidth, you will lack experiences. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become impactful?