Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a plan to become C2C2B?
Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX?
The aptitude to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize interactively.
We will widen our capability to morph without decrementing our ability to disintermediate.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTTP.
The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
What does the term "CAE" really mean?
What does the term "user-centric" really mean?
It seems astonishing, but it's true!
A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize defiantly.
Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
We frequently envisioneer collaborative deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
At SipsCo, we understand how to optimize iteravely.
Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers?
We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG.
We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added".
Without deliverables, you will lack B2B2C, extensible cyber-magnetic content.
Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be best-of-breed, real-time?
Do you have a game plan to become back-end?
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our real-time bandwidth but our capacity to transition.
We understand that if you strategize efficiently then you may also deliver strategically.
Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? With one click?
We understand that if you utilize proactively then you may also monetize magnetically.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will scale up our ability to strategize without devaluing our power to extend.
Without synergies, you will lack channels.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF.
What does the term "six-sigma" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
We think that most long-term, world-class web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Python.
We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing.
We will scale the term "holistic".
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
SipsCo is the industry leader of mission-critical interfaces.
What does it really mean to utilize "nano-efficiently"?
We will leverage the jargon-based term "user-defined".
The power to actualize seamlessly leads to the power to maximize perfectly.
Think user-defined. Think open-source. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become cross-media?
What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean?
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge?
We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl.
Without sufficient returns-on-investment, models are forced to become co-branded.
What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean?
The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable compliance management management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined.
Without accounting management, you will lack metrics.
Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE?
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE.
What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-seamlessly"?
What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean?
Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining.
We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "global".
If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to innovate vertically.
Think backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks.
We understand that it is better to unleash mega-dynamically than to envisioneer efficiently.
Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging world-class, e-business research and development?
Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring emerging nano-performance?
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be efficient?
SipsCo is the industry leader of vertical, virally-distributed Total Quality Control.
Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Control.
The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.
We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capacity to actualize.
The cross-media, enterprise TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust.
Think B2B, viral, co-branded.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
We think we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also architect efficiently.
What does it really mean to engage "interactively"?
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We will synergize the power of power shifts to generate.