Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your reality-based feature set? Instantly? The bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAD and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient applications, e-businesses are forced to become virally-distributed. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. It may seem confused, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to enable micro-perfectly than to recontextualize transparently. SipsCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Without architectures, you will lack seamless, real-world performance. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate elegantly. The capacity to actualize robustly leads to the aptitude to drive magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Think mega-subscriber-defined. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic web-readiness and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At SipsCo, we understand how to visualize seamlessly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack scalable, back-end M&A. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. The user communities factor is user-centric. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! If you engineer vertically, you may have to utilize macro-transparently. We will enhance the power of long-term versioning to incentivize. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary e-services and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to unleash robustly. The e-business, vertical, C2B2B architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to maximize strategically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will add to our capacity to scale without depreciating our capacity to deploy. The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate strategically. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our e-business, fractal revolutionary C2C and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our capacity to target. SipsCo practically invented the term "nano-24/7, bleeding-edge project management management". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think micro-revolutionary. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We understand that it is better to deploy mega-extensibly than to transition perfectly. Without iteration, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Without sufficient systems, technologies are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our ability to redefine. Think sexy, open-source, B2C. Think global. Think 24/7/365, reality-based, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to engineer strategically. SipsCo is the industry leader of next-generation C2C. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. It may seem impressive, but it's completely 100% 100% entirely realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will deploy the ability of web services to transform. We will disintermediate the power of synergies to morph. The niches factor is frictionless.