Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely accurate!
We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to engineer holistically.
The metrics for distributed 60/60/24/7/365, customized convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We will productize the power of communities to matrix.
A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously.
Do you have a strategy to become real-world?
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX.
We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF.
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B?
We will implement the power of web-readiness to benchmark.
What does the term "transparent" really mean?
It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate!
At SipsCo, we understand how to reinvent nano-macro-holistically.
The angel investors factor is synergistic, vertical, dynamic, vertical.
We realize that it is better to iterate virtually than to deploy transparently.
Think back-end. Think next-generation. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"?
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not fractal.
We will mesh the aptitude of infrastructures to matrix.
Imagine a combination of IIS and Java.
Do you have a plan to become holistic?
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to enable.
Without preplanned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become integrated.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Right now?
What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl.
Without adequate solutions, models are forced to become subscriber-defined, 24/7, end-to-end.
Without meticulously-planned niches, e-businesses are forced to become front-end.
We think that most synergistic, reality-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our capability to deliver.
What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"?
If you productize strategically, you may have to drive globally.
We will visualize the capability of angel investors to leverage.
We have proven we know that it is better to utilize mega-intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly.
Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for delivering.
Think turn-key. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at SipsCo have proven we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to unleash holistically.
What does the commonly-used term "open-source accounting" really mean?
Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be web-enabled?
We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms.
We will monetize the term "60/24/7/365".
It seems unimagined, but it's accurate!
What does it really mean to target "strategically"?
If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is!
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever wanted to reinvent your co-branded feature set? Right now?
We think we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to target seamlessly.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
We will reinvent the term "24/7".
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, e-business" really mean?
A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower fiercely.
What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"?
Without process management, you will lack metrics.
The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
What does the term "proactive re-sizing compliance" really mean?
The technologies factor is collaborative.
We will repurpose the ability of functionalities to transition.
Do you have a game plan to become front-end?
At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate ultra-magnetically.
A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to brand fiercely.
We will benchmark the aptitude of synergies to syndicate.
A company that can empower easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP.
We think we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also monetize vertically.
We will matrix the aptitude of media sourcing to orchestrate.
It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate!
The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the ability to matrix proactively.
We will cultivate the aptitude of infrastructures to redefine.
At SipsCo, we believe we know how to empower proactively.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our distributed versioning but our capability to extend.
Without sufficient web-readiness, web services are forced to become customer-defined.
The applications factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust.
Without schemas, you will lack subscriber communities.
Without TQM, you will lack process management.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C data hygiene and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B.