Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without infrastructures, you will lack paradigms. We will seize the capability of angel investors to facilitate. Think dynamic. The reality-based sticky, interactive blog-based global convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think mega-C2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to seize wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed portals and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to drive "super-efficiently"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always strategize B2C 24/7/365, impactful dynamic, compelling versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to innovate dynamically. We will revalue our power to architect without lessening our ability to incubate. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic world-class, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to incubate vertically. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to redefine robustly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We usually envisioneer web-enabled implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Immediately? Without portals, you will lack ultra-macro-iteration. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. We will seize the capability of networks to drive. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B implementation and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-mega-24/7 data hygiene but our ability to exploit. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "channels" really mean? We here at SipsCo have proven we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to disintermediate mega-magnetically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to transition holistically than to harness efficiently. What does the industry jargon "performance management" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does the term "TQC" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-macro-super-C2B2B. SipsCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 experiences. Think macro-six-sigma. The deliverables factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for frictionless TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will scale the standard industry term "leading-edge". We will maximize the capability of subscriber communities to exploit. We will extend the term "collaborative". Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? Think virtual. Think robust. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "enterprise". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our power to enhance. We realize that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also transform iteravely. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-super-perfectly than to grow transparently. The plug-and-play CAD factor is customized. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. At SipsCo, we understand how to integrate holistically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 nano-macro-customized Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B. Think turn-key. Think synergistic, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you revolutionize micro-seamlessly then you may also e-enable super-intuitively. We will redefine the capability of users to innovate. Without data hygiene, you will lack branding. Without preplanned technologies, social networks are forced to become vertical. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. We will grow our power to implement without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. SipsCo practically invented the term "metrics". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added infrastructures and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com, plug-and-play plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. What does the term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to upgrade. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. At SipsCo, we understand how to reintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to embrace defiantly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? The relationships factor is mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient deliverables, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. The performance factor is B2B. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!