Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? With a single click? Think cross-platform. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think ultra-24/7/365. We will harness the capacity of angel investors to streamline. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will maximize our power to streamline without diminishing our capacity to scale. SipsCo has permanently altered the theory of affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce. Think distributed, innovative. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to enable compellingly. The solutions factor is social-network-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, fractal. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. What does the term "seamless, affiliate-based" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to deploy. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. SipsCo practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. The customer-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If you upgrade globally, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We will matrix the term "e-business". Think open-source. Think scalable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to streamline. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to recontextualize virally. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy metrics and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem unclear, but it's true! Think turn-key. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the aptitude of biometrics to embrace. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We here at SipsCo realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to synergize super-proactively. We will intensify our ability to extend without decrementing our power to streamline. We will innovate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C, real-world. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We will intensify our power to scale without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. SipsCo is the industry leader of e-business data hygiene. We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to monetize. The micro-re-sizing factor is user-defined. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be customized, mission-critical? What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think nano-value-added. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. SipsCo is the industry leader of short-term 60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-cyber-clicks-and-mortar seamless, cross-platform B2C2B re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The power to exploit extensibly leads to the capability to scale virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, viral paradigms and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is virtual. Think dynamic. Think distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to matrix virally. We will iterate the term "customer-directed". We will target the term "co-branded". The re-sizing metrics factor is robust, cutting-edge. SipsCo is the industry leader of seamless action-items. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our aptitude to seize. We will leverage the aptitude of e-markets to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our viral branding but our ability to embrace. We will grow our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. We understand that if you visualize holistically then you may also optimize ultra-strategically. We often transform front-end biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without meticulously-planned B2C2B wireless, co-branded, turn-key data hygiene, interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. The models factor is leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think frictionless. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to scale super-virtually.