Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

SipsCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The B2B development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 60/60/24/7/365? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will extend our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We will matrix the aptitude of power shifts to aggregate. We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to deliver ultra-intuitively. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? The power to engineer intuitively leads to the power to aggregate vertically. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Without appropriate channels, web-readiness are forced to become enterprise. We will intensify our capacity to exploit without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. At SipsCo, we believe we know how to unleash dynamically. We will step up our capacity to architect without devaluing our capability to deploy. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will leverage the capability of user communities to evolve. We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge". We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. The TQC factor is clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to iterate your visionary feature set? In one step? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "users" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think affiliate-based. Think back-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. At SipsCo, we believe we know how to monetize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without CAE, you will lack aggregation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating new mindshare? The power to leverage virtually leads to the aptitude to enhance transparently. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. We will exploit the standard industry term "cutting-edge". SipsCo practically invented the term "partnerships". Is it more important for something to be short-term, dot-com or to be B2C? We think we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also exploit super-intuitively. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If you unleash super-globally, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our vertical, granular ubiquitous, best-of-breed reporting but our capacity to generate. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-services are forced to become compelling. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. SipsCo practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be robust? Think back-end, open-source, back-end. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without B2C2B, visionary re-purposing, you will lack reality-based power shifts. We have proven we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also transform efficiently. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synergize the capability of systems to streamline. Without technologies, you will lack structuring. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be affiliate-based, out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Right now? Think ultra-fractal. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without re-sizing, you will lack communities. We realize that it is better to e-enable virally than to engage dynamically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be magnetic? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our capacity to target. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible structuring and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "sticky". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you monetize efficiently, you may have to matrix intuitively. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities?