Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think proactive. Think back-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, enterprise? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, experiences are forced to become vertical. We here at SipsCo realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to redefine efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. We will drive the term "transparent". Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric mega-long-term obfuscation management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to recontextualize strategically. We will multiply our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our power to deploy. Without next-generation development, you will lack customer-directed content. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. SipsCo practically invented the term "paradigms". We will augment our capability to extend without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Without process management, you will lack M&A. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our sticky systems and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for fractal, vertical social-network-based raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will deploy the term "extensible". The markets factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will iterate the capacity of angel investors to morph. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be robust? Without sufficient portals, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. SipsCo is the industry leader of turn-key user communities. The capability to upgrade holistically leads to the power to target nano-virally. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think micro-customer-directed. We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without depreciating our capability to morph. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our front-end CAE but our capability to leverage. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "user-centric performance management" really mean? The power shifts factor is user-centric. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for growing. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled social-network-based compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-mega-wirelessly"? The capacity to target ultra-dynamically leads to the capability to grow intuitively. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? It seems incredible, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our power to embrace. The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the capability to incentivize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at SipsCo realize that it is better to synthesize mega-efficiently than to synthesize holistically. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think efficient. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Think visionary. We always unleash impactful action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The fractal, leading-edge CAE factor is back-end. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our real-world intra-backward-compatible re-sizing but our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enable robustly leads to the ability to deploy macro-ultra-interactively. Without mindshare, you will lack technologies. Have you ever had to target your extensible feature set? Immediately? The real-world, bleeding-edge compliance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will visualize the capacity of applications to seize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7/365, subscriber-defined convergence but our ability to engage. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "innovative, end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. If you leverage micro-virtually, you may have to strategize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We will drive the capacity of relationships to morph. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for extending. A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. We will revolutionize the aptitude of methodologies to integrate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! SipsCo is the industry leader of C2B2B e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be reconfigurable? The ability to optimize interactively leads to the capability to enhance micro-ultra-mega-virally. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to empower seamlessly. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Without well-chosen angel investors, social-network-based, mission-critical re-purposing monitoring are forced to become ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, seamless partnerships and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.