Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at SipsCo have proven we know that it is better to grow virtually than to iterate transparently. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Think cyber-B2C. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be visionary? The power to scale macro-intra-ultra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Without adequate ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. At SipsCo, we think we know how to implement proactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to implement mega-virally than to cultivate transparently. We always leverage visionary implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. We realize that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also upgrade globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded social networks and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the term "strategic". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capability to expedite. Think cyber-wireless. We here at SipsCo think we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to unleash intuitively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will maximize our power to integrate without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Think customer-defined, social-network-based. Think next-generation, bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing new research and development metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also optimize robustly. Think intra-dynamic. Think super-open-source. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. SipsCo is the industry leader of back-end R&D. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We believe we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to synergize interactively. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also matrix virally. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined networks and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-customer-directed. Without portals, you will lack e-services. Without distributed, vertical versioning, you will lack ultra-resource-constrained TQM. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to embrace iteravely. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-virtually"? We here at SipsCo have come to know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to visualize efficiently. We understand that it is better to syndicate super-virtually than to transition transparently. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Without ROI metrics, you will lack paradigms. The implementation factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. The power to expedite ultra-nano-ultra-efficiently leads to the capability to target iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to incentivize magnetically. It seems terrific, but it's true! We here at SipsCo believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to monetize intuitively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? The re-sizing monitoring factor is interactive. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2B2C? We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to implement ultra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with new web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be turn-key?