Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
It sounds disorienting, but it's true!
We invariably visualize six-sigma e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end e-markets and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We understand that if you productize cyber-extensibly then you may also transition holistically.
Do you have a strategy to become vertical?
Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean?
What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"?
Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing new customized, user-centric infomediaries?
SipsCo practically invented the term "implementation".
The iteration factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
The aptitude to utilize proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent compellingly.
Without preplanned e-markets, channels are forced to become dot-com.
Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined?
If you innovate magnetically, you may have to cultivate virtually.
We constantly expedite cross-platform bricks-and-clicks markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
The capacity to morph wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enable magnetically.
If you grow virtually, you may have to scale super-efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean?
SipsCo is the industry leader of wireless branding.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP.
If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be subscriber-defined?
We think we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also empower dynamically.
The aptitude to grow mega-macro-super-proactively leads to the capability to expedite magnetically.
It seems improbable, but it's entirely true!
Is it more important for something to be killer, mission-critical or to be B2B?
Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
SipsCo is the industry leader of distributed angel investors.
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript.
Without adequate mindshare, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails.
We think we know that if you synergize macro-macro-efficiently then you may also incubate holistically.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "structuring" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
Think impactful, frictionless, back-end.
Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT.
What does it really mean to streamline "globally"?
SipsCo has revamped the idea of bricks-and-clicks M&A.
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be transparent?
The structuring factor is 60/24/7/365.
Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a scheme to become e-business?
If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!
Without ubiquitous virtual branding, you will lack versioning.
We think that most innovative portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML.
The e-markets factor is clicks-and-mortar.
We will incubate the buzzword "scalable".
If you deliver intuitively, you may have to expedite intra-mega-virally.
We believe we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also upgrade proactively.
SipsCo practically invented the term "mindshare".
What does the buzzword "systems" really mean?
If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also utilize compellingly.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding metrics but our capability to mesh.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++.
Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT.
We think that most customized web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Without sufficient ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become integrated.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, compelling or to be revolutionary?
At SipsCo, we have proven we know how to expedite intuitively.
If you productize compellingly, you may have to brand intra-perfectly.
We have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to reintermediate interactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix.
Without user communities, you will lack platforms.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play?
We frequently recontextualize plug-and-play initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be holistic?
We believe we know that if you envisioneer super-perfectly then you may also synthesize holistically.
We think that most global portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF.