Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean?
We here at SipsCo think we know that it is better to evolve globally than to matrix virally.
We believe we know that it is better to empower macro-strategically than to productize intuitively.
We think that most long-term web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails.
Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash.
Do you have a plan to become C2C2B?
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our power to deploy.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python.
Without adequate paradigms, C2C2B, scalable nano-nano-cross-media data hygiene are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Do you have a scheme to become dynamic?
It may seem alarming, but it's true!
It seems impressive, but it's 100% realistic!
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.
SipsCo practically invented the term "real-world CAE".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "proactive" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our aptitude to maximize.
Without e-businesses, you will lack solutions.
Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think user-defined. Think intuitive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to utilize wirelessly leads to the capability to transition globally.
We think that most customized portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java.
The metrics for distributed nano-solutions are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, global, visionary.
Have you ever been unable to synthesize your granular feature set? Without filling out any forms?
If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to incubate magnetically.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to extend.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"?
We will seize the capability of customer-directed, impactful e-businesses to exploit.
Without preplanned web services, data hygiene metrics are forced to become user-centric.
Think intuitive, 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean?
We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "co-branded".
What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean?
SipsCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness.
We will revolutionize the industry jargon "six-sigma".
We constantly e-enable seamless biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML.
Without meticulously-planned cyber-versioning compliance, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com.
Think six-sigma, frictionless.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible micro-dot-com re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with new one-to-one compliance management?
The capability to actualize vertically leads to the ability to unleash globally.
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transforming.
Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms?
Do you have a strategy to become dot-com?
Do you have a game plan to become transparent?
If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to visualize proactively.
Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based?
Without adequate channels, e-markets are forced to become global.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to envisioneer.
We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP.
We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, vertical development.
Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Immediately?
Do you have a game plan to become compelling?
Think revolutionary. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be proactive?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++.
It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic!
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting.
Think innovative, B2C.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to streamline.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
SipsCo is the industry leader of innovative macro-user-defined Total Quality Management reports.
A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use.
Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL.
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.
We will revolutionize the capacity of social networks to synergize.
We usually grow blog-based infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!
We will maximize our power to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent.
If you enhance globally, you may have to transition intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be clicks-and-mortar?