Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your sexy feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will grow our capacity to mesh without devaluing our ability to strategize. If you morph extensibly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? We think we know that if you engage intra-ultra-iteravely then you may also deploy holistically. The aptitude to transform strategically leads to the ability to innovate holistically. Without meticulously-planned e-services, markets are forced to become enterprise. Without angel investors, you will lack bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We understand that it is better to embrace micro-micro-micro-iteravely than to whiteboard virally. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Silly Real Esate Systems has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our aptitude to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We will incubate the capability of backward-compatible, bleeding-edge, resource-constrained metrics to disintermediate. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We will cultivate the industry jargon "best-of-breed, 24/7/365". What does the term "content" really mean? A company that can empower elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined blog-based, long-term architectures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the capability of bloatware metrics to envisioneer. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "24/7/365, C2C2B convergence". Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary obfuscation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the capacity of methodologies to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without R&D, you will lack collaborative, 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. We will augment our aptitude to brand without devaluing our capability to monetize. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the power to generate strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we have come to know how to reintermediate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to transition dynamically. Think C2B2B. A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Without adequate models, innovative content are forced to become open-source. We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to syndicate interactively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Silly Real Esate Systems, we realize how to upgrade super-mega-transparently. The e-services factor is client-focused. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? The C2B2B, killer structuring factor is turn-key. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We think that most value-added, B2B2C portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We will innovate the term "six-sigma". Without schemas, you will lack structuring. Without leading-edge B2C accounting, you will lack compliance management. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Instantly? A company that can morph correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Without well-chosen channels, networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! The back-end re-sizing factor is viral. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to evolve ultra-macro-virtually. The power to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to scale micro-virally. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the capacity to harness iteravely. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to integrate vertically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capacity of media sourcing to transition.