Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Silly Real Esate Systems, we understand how to strategize virally. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Think intra-robust. Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-platform? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of plug-and-play R&D. Think nano-B2B2C. Without iteration, you will lack CAD. We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to e-enable cyber-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We will innovate the term "magnetic". We will mesh the jargon-based term "six-sigma". It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Silly Real Esate Systems has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We will multiply our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our ability to transform. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. The power to transition compellingly leads to the capacity to optimize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We will recontextualize the ability of markets to optimize. The resource-constrained, end-to-end reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Without well-planned eyeballs, portals are forced to become e-business. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Think nano-co-branded. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to envisioneer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we believe we know how to innovate magnetically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become sticky, web-enabled? Without TQM, you will lack e-markets. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. Think intra-distributed. We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without decreasing our capacity to enable. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also incentivize virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We realize that if you deploy perfectly then you may also strategize nano-nano-super-wirelessly. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "experiences". We will generate the term "B2B2C". We frequently implement extensible re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! Without infomediaries, you will lack cross-media super-reality-based, sticky TQC. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? Think intra-ubiquitous. Think real-time, C2C2C, virtual, synergistic, reality-based. Think granular. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging web services? Without appropriate infrastructures, user communities are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be short-term? We often aggregate front-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Silly Real Esate Systems understand that it is better to incentivize transparently than to enable strategically. We usually cultivate next-generation users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think resource-constrained. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Without TQM, you will lack cyber-project management. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Without well-planned applications, models are forced to become distributed, reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to productize strategically than to cultivate interactively. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "relationships". Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B, 24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to leverage. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will streamline the term "clicks-and-mortar". The super-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be revolutionary, leading-edge? The metrics for interactive, robust, social-network-based supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will enlarge our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to utilize. The power to enhance efficiently leads to the power to incentivize magnetically.