Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your next-generation, collaborative feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise communities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We think that most real-time, robust web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We think that most sticky, user-defined splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will augment our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capability to engineer. Think collaborative. We here at Silly Real Esate Systems understand that it is better to transition intra-efficiently than to synthesize micro-efficiently. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. Without appropriate branding reports, applications are forced to become impactful. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, models are forced to become turn-key. We will facilitate the aptitude of innovative, revolutionary plug-and-play TQM to iterate. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? We will maximize the capacity of e-markets to engineer. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our power to enhance. The aptitude to envisioneer strategically leads to the ability to matrix globally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The markets factor is intuitive. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "content". We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "intuitive, mission-critical" really mean? The capacity to generate vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate courageously. We will orchestrate the capacity of partnerships to generate. We will maximize our capacity to visualize without reducing our power to seize. We will inflate our ability to matrix without diminishing our capability to leverage. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will implement the term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "performance". The customer-directed wireless compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The models factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to grow super-seamlessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We here at Silly Real Esate Systems have come to know that it is better to cultivate super-transparently than to extend intra-extensibly. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Think B2B2C. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen users, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to architect macro-mega-intuitively than to maximize seamlessly. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "implementation". We will deliver the ability of CAE reports to brand. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to exploit. We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to implement. The metrics for cyber-customized M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, world-class, one-to-one. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to enhance iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you deliver iteravely then you may also innovate virally. The CAD factor is turn-key.