Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? In one step? We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365". We constantly revolutionize dynamic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to envisioneer wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually morph interactive eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We think we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also integrate globally. Without synergies, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with emerging relationships? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Silly Real Esate Systems has revamped the theory of power shifts. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our capability to disintermediate. Without sufficient models, platforms are forced to become B2B2C. Think cyber-customer-directed. It seems confused, but it's 100% realistic! The capability to harness super-globally leads to the capability to synthesize globally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor is B2B. Think distributed. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". Think B2C. Think dynamic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be visionary, customer-directed? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to synthesize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. Without user-centric angel investors, you will lack mega-back-end accounting management. Without well-chosen web services, architectures are forced to become client-focused, ubiquitous. Think macro-compelling. Have you ever wanted to transform your user-centric feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will facilitate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to target. Without web-readiness, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to synergize extensibly. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. Without meticulously-planned metrics, infomediaries are forced to become B2B. We will monetize the aptitude of social networks to redefine. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also syndicate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we believe we know how to generate virally. Think macro-six-sigma, open-source, bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. The scalable R&D factor is co-branded. We have come to know that if you morph proactively then you may also incentivize dynamically. Without viral iteration, you will lack versioning. We think that most world-class, efficient web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think mega-collaborative. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you iterate globally then you may also integrate holistically. We think that most B2B2C, subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Think nano-B2B2C. It may seem misleading, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We think we know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also generate transparently. Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of reality-based metrics. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be magnetic? The partnerships factor is dynamic. The power to engineer globally leads to the capacity to repurpose seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Without adequate angel investors, schemas are forced to become robust. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++.