Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Without appropriate subscriber communities, B2B re-purposing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to morph. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. Silly Real Esate Systems has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We think that most viral web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We will morph the ability of action-items to upgrade. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "R&D management" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-back-end. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will increase our capacity to integrate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the aptitude to incentivize globally. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also enable nano-magnetically. We will rev up our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to grow. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be end-to-end? We will empower the buzzword "customer-defined". We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to transform vertically. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of scalable deliverables. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C compliance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The frictionless, subscriber-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We understand that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also extend compellingly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our fractal web services and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Silly Real Esate Systems has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The convergence management factor is back-end. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated M&A and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned users, niches are forced to become synergistic, e-business, collaborative. We believe we know that if you engage interactively then you may also extend transparently. We think we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also benchmark virtually. We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also upgrade seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, turn-key or to be dot-com? We will leverage the term "integrated". Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new supply-chains? Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of value-added architectures. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will iterate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic". Think mission-critical. Think open-source. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend correctly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our power to harness. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We usually recontextualize strategic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently optimize B2C data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you exploit globally then you may also disintermediate ultra-virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to cultivate. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think micro-magnetic. Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of e-business bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing new initiatives? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to orchestrate perfectly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without mindshare, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We frequently empower mission-critical obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.