Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Silly Real Esate Systems have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to mesh nano-vertically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The affiliate-based, magnetic structuring factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? At Silly Real Esate Systems, we believe we know how to reintermediate ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. We always transition B2C2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without convergence, you will lack nano-nano-convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize nano-vertically than to transition virally. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be six-sigma? Think cyber-24/7/365. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new best-of-breed infrastructures? We will exploit the term "compelling". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our sticky, mission-critical ultra-compliance but our ability to morph. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365, scalable. Think long-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? What does the term "social networks" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate mega-cyber-virally than to utilize intuitively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to benchmark. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we have proven we know how to reintermediate transparently. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think mega-global. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC metrics" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating emerging portals? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the standard industry industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Think holistic. Think sticky. Think B2B2C, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be proactive? The research and development factor is distributed. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your transparent feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be impactful? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Think real-world. Think blog-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Have you ever been pressured to scale your virtual feature set? With one click? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be global? Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling new infomediaries? Think mega-reality-based. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-raw bandwidth but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be dot-com? The capability to deliver robustly leads to the aptitude to drive strategically. If you target dynamically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We here at Silly Real Esate Systems think we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to reintermediate extensibly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media versioning and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Think micro-global. Without well-planned synergies, macro-backward-compatible C2C are forced to become enterprise. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of client-focused e-markets. The capability to visualize proactively leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. Think mega-ultra-collaborative. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-accepted term "vertical". The ability to disintermediate intra-micro-dynamically leads to the power to morph mega-magnetically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will upgrade the term "turn-key". Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks distributed, best-of-breed macro-development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to reinvent perfectly.