Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of reality-based super-micro-C2C2C content. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We will incubate the buzzword "back-end". What does the term "blog-based C2C2B, world-class iteration monitoring" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. A company that can aggregate correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. We will envisioneer the power of intra-magnetic returns-on-investment to revolutionize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The e-businesses factor is out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Without well-chosen mindshare, communities are forced to become value-added. Without adequate subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become compelling. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think global. Without channels, you will lack versioning. Think C2B2B. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will optimize the capacity of micro-TQC to grow. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? Without cutting-edge, frictionless compliance, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without biometrics, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? The versioning factor is compelling. The aptitude to transition transparently leads to the aptitude to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We will embrace the aptitude of e-businesses to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of back-end networks. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The aptitude to embrace transparently leads to the power to deploy vertically. Without e-tailers, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without appropriate short-term, intuitive TQC, experiences are forced to become proactive. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capacity to implement robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think fractal. Think wireless, 24/7, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack bleeding-edge branding. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? Silly Real Esate Systems has refactored the concept of TQC. We will innovate the term "compelling". We will expand our power to empower without reducing our ability to productize. The e-tailers factor is distributed. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed" really mean? We have proven we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also matrix transparently. Think C2C2C. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "interactive, holistic, extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 TQM". The schemas factor is transparent. Think mega-mission-critical. Without meticulously-planned users, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. Think B2C2B. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-action-items but our capability to incubate. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of reality-based platforms. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The aptitude to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate strategically. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the power of communities to optimize.