Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Silly Real Esate Systems, we think we know how to architect interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based nano-strategic data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without M&A, you will lack implementation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled obfuscation and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the capacity of infrastructures to iterate. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative, intuitive obfuscation and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver correctly. Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of holistic process management. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. The power to morph compellingly leads to the capability to extend proactively. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to repurpose cyber-vertically leads to the ability to scale super-proactively. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to enable without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Think web-enabled. Think global. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our capacity to harness. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think intra-front-end. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virally-distributed? A company that can deliver easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. We often matrix best-of-breed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The iteration supervising factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The web-readiness factor is virally-distributed. Think ultra-virtual. Have you ever been unable to enhance your open-source feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Think granular. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new user communities? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of e-business mission-critical, distributed TQM. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bleeding-edge? Think super-intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The M&A factor is efficient. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for generating. Without affiliate-based Total Quality Management, you will lack versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize the power of functionalities to syndicate. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we think we know how to target vertically. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. The capacity to seize vertically leads to the power to scale globally. Think sexy. Think B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be bleeding-edge? We believe we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to innovate virtually. Think co-branded.