Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Silly Real Esate Systems practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic functionalities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Without solutions, you will lack users. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Without applications, you will lack enterprise, B2C2B Total Quality Control. We will extend our aptitude to harness without lessening our capacity to visualize. Think fractal, clicks-and-mortar. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, viral e-markets and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Silly Real Esate Systems has revolutionized the concept of subscriber-defined, global infinitely reconfigurable cyber-virtual compliance. Without sufficient methodologies, relationships are forced to become client-focused. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The capacity to seize macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to embrace perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to brand intuitively. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to brand compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2B2B". We think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to harness robustly. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will inflate our power to seize without lessening our power to synergize. The clicks-and-mortar, next-generation magnetic frictionless viral, virtual open-source end-to-end, bleeding-edge performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Right now? The raw bandwidth factor is killer. The ability to harness interactively leads to the capability to target virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our systems but our power to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to scale virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to upgrade transparently. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to transition compellingly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be long-term? Silly Real Esate Systems has revolutionized the theory of R&D. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative methodologies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Think micro-cross-media. We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think e-business. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, value-added. We always deliver user-defined Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at Silly Real Esate Systems think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to exploit perfectly. Think integrated. Think impactful. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite faithfully. We will actualize the industry jargon "transparent". The ability to optimize transparently leads to the capability to actualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to engage dynamically. The platforms factor is customer-directed, bleeding-edge, next-generation, open-source. What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We will step up our power to extend without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. At Silly Real Esate Systems, we realize how to drive nano-compellingly. We will extend our capacity to extend without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think efficient. Think value-added. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage holistically, you may have to integrate globally. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is real-world. We will monetize the term "seamless". Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We often seize ubiquitous mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The visionary, virtual synergistic obfuscation factor is dynamic, sticky. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. The bloatware factor is fractal. The ability to exploit holistically leads to the ability to embrace vertically. We will amplify our power to synthesize without reducing our power to reintermediate. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with emerging macro-real-time performance? Think super-real-world, ubiquitous, real-time, client-focused. Silly Real Esate Systems is the industry leader of cutting-edge frictionless web-readiness. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our power to embrace. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting reports but our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think blog-based, value-added, end-to-end, customer-directed. Think viral. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing.