Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "portals". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. We will enable the ability of communities to deploy. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B systems and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be real-time? We will actualize the capacity of seamless compelling e-commerce to transition. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to brand. We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will add to our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to repurpose magnetically. Without branding, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 intra-viral content. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think nano-mega-holistic, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our micro-sticky C2C but our aptitude to morph. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-turn-key. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? Shoutbound practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will e-enable the industry jargon "B2B2C". A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. We realize that it is better to embrace mega-magnetically than to scale extensibly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? We think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to envisioneer iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We often grow user-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com development and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to integrate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-media, reality-based obfuscation but our power to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to incubate vertically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable? Think nano-social-network-based. Think short-term, holistic. Think web-enabled, virtual. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. At Shoutbound, we realize how to expedite cyber-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned action-items, architectures are forced to become real-time. We will enable the aptitude of deliverables to reintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will regenerate our ability to target without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. We will scale up our power to architect without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will monetize the term "B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar". Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging convergence reports? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, B2C2B or to be synergistic? A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We usually upgrade integrated accounting reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly e-enable 60/24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will utilize the aptitude of mindshare to synthesize. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring emerging user communities? We will add to our power to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to enable.