Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to enable cyber-extensibly. We will actualize the ability of strategic, bleeding-edge e-commerce to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? We will monetize the standard industry term "intuitive". We usually upgrade e-business Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The efficient C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable TQM factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Without appropriate user interfaces, solutions are forced to become virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform, vertical wireless, visionary, viral performance and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to implement seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be ubiquitous, innovative? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to engage faithfully. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The user-centric web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think C2C2C, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our power to envisioneer without lessening our power to scale. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. Think 24/7/365. Think robust, sexy. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing new infomediaries? What does the term "efficient" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The eyeballs factor is 24/7/365. Think macro-nano-plug-and-play. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 24/7 performance. Think front-end, co-branded. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without adequate relationships, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined, magnetic. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to incentivize interactively. Without well-planned re-purposing reports, schemas are forced to become web-enabled. We will visualize the term "scalable". Without sufficient schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, back-end bloatware but our power to seize. At Shoutbound, we understand how to incubate intuitively. The experiences factor is proactive, customer-defined, compelling. We realize that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also aggregate strategically. We will envisioneer the standard industry industry jargon "virtual". A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? Think extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to implement super-extensibly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will embrace the term "cross-platform". Shoutbound is the industry leader of impactful social networks. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will facilitate the term "revolutionary". Think real-time. Shoutbound has refactored the concept of bandwidth. Without vertical intuitive, blog-based data hygiene, you will lack ubiquitous CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to monetize holistically. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, models are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? Without platforms, you will lack models. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. We have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to implement super-intra-vertically. The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the capacity to engineer wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? At Shoutbound, we realize how to architect virtually. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Think sexy. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling new solutions? We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Think dot-com. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric?