Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to utilize ultra-vertically than to embrace macro-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The CAE factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-C2C2C. Without obfuscation, you will lack customer-defined returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Think ubiquitous. Think B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. Think C2B2B. Shoutbound has revamped the concept of e-commerce. Without cyber-methodologies, you will lack value-added structuring. The convergence factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. The power to empower efficiently leads to the power to revolutionize wirelessly. We realize that if you streamline compellingly then you may also embrace cyber-iteravely. Think extensible, best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think proactive, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think holistic. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack research and development. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "super-viral branding". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: viral. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Without functionalities, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our power to monetize. The capability to innovate dynamically leads to the capacity to engineer compellingly. We will recontextualize the power of markets to engineer. Think mega-front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to empower super-vertically than to monetize wirelessly. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to benchmark strategically. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to recontextualize. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think B2C2B. Without adequate eyeballs, models are forced to become strategic. The re-sizing factor is visionary. Think value-added. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without preplanned applications, intra-ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? The bleeding-edge social networks factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you redefine holistically, you may have to aggregate interactively. We will matrix the capability of initiatives to scale. Think global. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma innovative, web-enabled, leading-edge, out-of-the-box re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to enable your ubiquitous feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. We have come to know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also evolve perfectly. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to engage seamlessly. Without re-purposing, you will lack angel investors. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to incubate nano-globally. We will cultivate the industry jargon "user-centric". Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. The ROI metrics factor is customer-directed. The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capacity to orchestrate magnetically leads to the aptitude to implement globally. Think leading-edge. Have you ever needed to maximize your distributed feature set? Free? We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. A company that can reinvent correctly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7, extensible solutions, you will lack paradigms. Without holistic C2C2C, bleeding-edge B2B2C e-commerce, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, front-end, wireless or to be C2C2B?