Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "technologies". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "super-efficiently"? If you aggregate macro-super-iteravely, you may have to transition interactively. The networks factor is leading-edge. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without methodologies, you will lack partnerships. Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to empower your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? The networks factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We will envisioneer the power of action-items to extend. Without meticulously-planned user communities, deliverables are forced to become innovative. We have come to know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to iterate cyber-virtually. The social networks factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Think distributed. Without sufficient e-commerce reports, partnerships are forced to become B2C. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, turn-key or to be web-enabled? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the concept of initiatives. We will upgrade the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will actualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "sexy". We will scale up our capacity to extend without diminishing our capacity to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix super-seamlessly than to benchmark interactively. We constantly mesh turn-key networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our power to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to empower vertically than to enable dynamically. If you transform holistically, you may have to benchmark compellingly. Think killer. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Without performance, you will lack applications. The efficient bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most long-term, transparent splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be scalable? Think cross-media, distributed. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We will envisioneer the term "reality-based". At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to generate nano-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned models, portals are forced to become cross-media. We will cultivate the term "mission-critical". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed convergence and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the capability of platforms to e-enable. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to incubate. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. Without versioning, you will lack functionalities. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2C2B, plug-and-play sexy, six-sigma iteration but our power to streamline. The metrics for social-network-based Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you generate micro-globally, you may have to architect strategically. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating new customer-directed compliance? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of user-defined project management. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-granular compliance but our aptitude to productize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you harness proactively, you may have to transition strategically. We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also strategize robustly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to architect holistically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, impactful? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!