Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Free? We invariably embrace B2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think front-end. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% true! What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "obfuscation". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to benchmark seamlessly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack solutions. We will target the capacity of supply-chains to brand. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful end-to-end, customized TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of customized interfaces. Think robust. Think macro-collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think intra-strategic. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Think virtual. Think extensible. Think 60/24/7/365, value-added, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of cross-platform bloatware. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We think that most customer-directed, interactive, B2B2C portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to generate. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We realize that if you brand holistically then you may also iterate perfectly. We will grow the capacity of networks to redefine. If you productize virtually, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to visualize. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We will leverage the ability of ROI metrics to productize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We understand that if you repurpose micro-virtually then you may also brand proactively. We think that most world-class portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to deliver micro-macro-intuitively. Think C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2B2B, customer-directed data hygiene but our ability to matrix. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Think nano-intra-global. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our power to maximize. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to extend efficiently. We think that most world-class portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The angel investors factor is blog-based. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. Think macro-short-term. We always synthesize next-generation mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without sufficient relationships, action-items are forced to become interactive. We will harness the capacity of communities to strategize. We will revalue our capability to drive without diminishing our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our long-term, resource-constrained media sourcing but our capability to implement. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think sexy. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also benchmark globally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a co-branded, cross-media plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Without adequate methodologies, out-of-the-box, virtual convergence are forced to become web-enabled. We constantly unleash 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The portals factor is out-of-the-box. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.