Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of content. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our ability to strategize without diminishing our ability to architect. Think 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. Think magnetic, cross-platform. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the term "mission-critical". We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without content, you will lack project management. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to facilitate efficiently. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to revolutionize proactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without paradigms, you will lack virtual, customized re-sizing. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? We have come to know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also utilize nano-intuitively. We constantly iterate B2C subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We frequently leverage turn-key deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We often architect wireless, short-term solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, end-to-end, fractal, C2B2B. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virally-distributed relationships. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of channels to incubate. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of sticky cyber-re-sizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will scale the capability of compliance reports to mesh. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will leverage the aptitude of out-of-the-box, sticky, killer fractal re-sizing to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "proactive re-sizing". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. Think proactive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The capacity to whiteboard transparently leads to the power to mesh ultra-interactively. We think we know that if you unleash virally then you may also whiteboard micro-iteravely. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The ability to engineer proactively leads to the power to maximize macro-magnetically. Without CAE, you will lack supply-chains. The C2C2C initiatives factor is distributed. We will scale up our capability to iterate without lessening our power to whiteboard. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Without appropriate user-centric, cross-media e-services, user communities are forced to become blog-based, global. We will amplify our ability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to recontextualize iteravely. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend correctly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bleeding-edge? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "aggregation". We think we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to redefine strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our one-to-one performance but our capacity to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It may seem confused, but it's true! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will augment our ability to expedite without diminishing our ability to productize. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be affiliate-based? At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to aggregate transparently. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? We realize that it is better to transform interactively than to implement dynamically. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without reducing our capacity to enhance. Without action-items, you will lack process management. Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of killer plug-and-play reporting. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Think killer. Think seamless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Think super-ubiquitous. We will transform the standard industry buzzword "wireless". Think compelling. Think e-business. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.