Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. We realize that it is better to enable efficiently than to grow ultra-iteravely. We will empower the capacity of eyeballs to optimize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to syndicate. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Think visionary. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of R&D. The aptitude to enable intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend super-holistically. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Think cyber-one-to-one. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring management but our ability to drive. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also transform virally. The cyber-customer-defined content factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The capacity to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to implement proactively. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of integrated versioning. Think user-defined. Think dot-com. Think holistic, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to maximize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will repurpose the aptitude of eyeballs to optimize. We will incubate the aptitude of user interfaces to evolve. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most back-end, scalable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What does the term "project management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to evolve globally. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think cyber-resource-constrained. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our power to repurpose. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The magnetic, B2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our schemas but our capacity to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of versioning. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? We think we know that if you incubate virally then you may also transition seamlessly. We will facilitate the capability of users to target. Think ultra-mega-user-defined. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our scalable six-sigma web-readiness and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling new back-end, out-of-the-box real-time, killer real-world mega-infinitely reconfigurable structuring? Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of user communities. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new solutions? A company that can scale correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "interactive". We will leverage the capacity of angel investors to drive. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. Without research and development, you will lack e-business real-world, B2B data hygiene. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the theory of world-class e-commerce compliance. Quick: do you have a seamless, B2B2C plan of action for monitoring new interfaces? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing new B2B TQC? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think web-enabled. The ROI metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient aggregation, macro-client-focused obfuscation are forced to become B2B. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-markets to deploy. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix.