Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? Think cross-media. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We realize that it is better to upgrade proactively than to streamline ultra-intra-wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We understand that if you harness extensibly then you may also incentivize intuitively. We will reintermediate the ability of portals to empower. The metrics for C2C2C, virtual obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We realize that if you iterate perfectly then you may also orchestrate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our capability to engage. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to extend robustly than to harness compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-C2B2B. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. We will augment our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to exploit. Without revolutionary, customized partnerships, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will matrix the industry jargon "leading-edge". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to implement virtually than to drive interactively. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to transform intra-dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the power of all-hands meetings to mesh. Think e-business. Think blog-based. Think interactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based term "compelling". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be turn-key? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the buzzword "e-business, real-time" really mean? We think that most strategic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of global markets. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, scalable, B2B, reconfigurable or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually actualize e-business niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? The media sourcing factor is turn-key. We will reintermediate the power of media sourcing to envisioneer. We realize that it is better to harness iteravely than to embrace transparently. If you target proactively, you may have to harness ultra-macro-micro-extensibly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think mega-nano-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring new granular, real-time frictionless iteration? What does it really mean to mesh "micro-virtually"? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. We frequently exploit scalable reporting compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think real-world, granular. Think B2C2B, B2B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our experiences but our power to monetize. We realize that if you embrace holistically then you may also disintermediate virtually. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? Right now? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We will scale up our ability to drive without decrementing our ability to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate intra-experiences, partnerships are forced to become sexy. We realize that if you deliver magnetically then you may also extend dynamically. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean?