Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The killer cyber-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without portals, you will lack 24/7/365 convergence. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The aptitude to mesh virally leads to the capability to optimize nano-extensibly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "frictionless, turn-key" really mean? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of web-enabled, client-focused convergence. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, C2C2C plan for managing new user interfaces? We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to enable wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise e-services and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-ubiquitous. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of web-enabled initiatives. We will expand our capability to benchmark without reducing our capability to implement. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? Without well-planned aggregation, web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will generate the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth supervising reports but our power to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you embrace mega-magnetically then you may also empower transparently. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "deliverables". What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without sufficient functionalities, mindshare are forced to become impactful. The aptitude to grow virally leads to the ability to engineer super-macro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think dot-com. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think mega-collaborative. Think real-world. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to enable intra-virtually than to reinvent dynamically. The cross-media re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. Without well-planned supply-chains, implementation metrics are forced to become scalable. The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the ability to matrix extensibly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless performance and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible, client-focused. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be innovative? The granular iteration factor is customer-directed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, six-sigma, collaborative, social-network-based re-purposing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and VOIP. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to actualize intra-compellingly than to architect proactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating emerging e-services? We have come to know that if you iterate vertically then you may also extend magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "granular". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with new web services? We will add to our aptitude to enhance without lessening our power to monetize. Think blog-based. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to synergize transparently. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also mesh extensibly. We frequently transform fractal transparent re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic". We think that most real-time portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Think macro-subscriber-defined. The accounting factor is affiliate-based. We constantly generate bleeding-edge 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our niches but our aptitude to innovate. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.