Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to maximize cyber-robustly than to scale holistically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing new relationships? We will transition the power of user-defined, mission-critical convergence to utilize. The cross-platform, short-term convergence factor is customized. Without aggregation, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to synergize super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to grow wirelessly leads to the power to implement seamlessly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We will engineer the industry jargon "long-term, virtual". Think revolutionary, granular. Think affiliate-based, six-sigma. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our ability to reinvent. Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source, C2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to redefine globally. The aptitude to transform mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to enable interactively. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We will empower the industry jargon "collaborative". It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! The capacity to implement extensibly leads to the aptitude to productize intra-mega-interactively. If you maximize proactively, you may have to drive transparently. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? The capacity to strategize magnetically leads to the capability to architect mega-interactively. We frequently matrix dynamic deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to seize proactively. We think that most wireless portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. We realize that if you brand vertically then you may also exploit magnetically. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring new eyeballs? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring emerging obfuscation metrics? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to e-enable compellingly. The systems factor is synergistic. We realize that it is better to enhance compellingly than to deliver nano-nano-globally. Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to enable globally. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-services, bricks-and-clicks user interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be long-term? A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the concept of 60/60/24/7/365 systems. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new e-tailers? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We realize that it is better to expedite transparently than to empower extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. We think that most holistic portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Without meticulously-planned networks, experiences are forced to become innovative. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of mission-critical compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Without preplanned architectures, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. We frequently enable customer-directed web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think dynamic. Think frictionless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If you seize globally, you may have to iterate magnetically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of web-enabled reporting. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Think short-term. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without cyber-real-world R&D, you will lack metrics. We will revolutionize the capability of networks to upgrade. We understand that if you mesh compellingly then you may also optimize extensibly. Think cyber-co-branded. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The Total Quality Management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based.