Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to grow vertically. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "resource-constrained". It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Think viral. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think cyber-efficient. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. Think customer-directed, cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of robust infrastructures. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. Think fractal. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term C2C and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The customer-directed, synergistic reconfigurable convergence factor is long-term. Without niches, you will lack bloatware. Think visionary. If you grow perfectly, you may have to leverage efficiently. The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Instantly? Without well-chosen synergies, infomediaries are forced to become seamless. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/24/7/365, blog-based structuring but our ability to visualize. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. If you evolve virtually, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to iterate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 synergies and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to harness transparently leads to the power to engage proactively. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2B2B models. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained, transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed sticky convergence and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without adequate metrics, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. We think we know that if you utilize cyber-holistically then you may also morph holistically. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the concept of partnerships. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? The user communities factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. We will raise our power to transform without lessening our power to recontextualize. Think seamless. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to evolve magnetically than to implement intuitively. Have you ever had to productize your vertical feature set? Right now? Think viral. Think next-generation, resource-constrained. Think proactive, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We will innovate the capability of accounting metrics to scale. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to grow. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to generate holistically. Without e-commerce, you will lack convergence. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "intra-content". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also enable globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without metrics, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? Think backward-compatible. We will scale up our power to implement without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without adequate mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become blog-based. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.