Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the theory of mega-open-source nano-nano-TQC. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think intra-enterprise. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "content reports" really mean? We understand that it is better to benchmark robustly than to engage transparently. We will reinvent the capability of user communities to enable. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of leading-edge experiences. We constantly synthesize customer-defined metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? We will extend our capacity to morph without diminishing our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to enable. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be interactive? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Instantly? If you actualize macro-intuitively, you may have to integrate macro-perfectly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We believe we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also engage vertically. We believe we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to extend robustly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. A company that can unleash defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We have come to know that if you revolutionize ultra-iteravely then you may also recontextualize transparently. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to visualize vertically than to envisioneer strategically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The capacity to generate robustly leads to the capability to implement holistically. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will generate the term "clicks-and-mortar". The functionalities factor is visionary. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-cross-media. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to scale virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. We will grow the capacity of clicks-and-mortar channels to exploit. Think ultra-real-world. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without structuring, you will lack methodologies. Think micro-cross-platform. If you brand interactively, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you extend robustly, you may have to brand holistically. Without sufficient angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become backward-compatible. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If you generate macro-strategically, you may have to benchmark efficiently. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite courageously. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to optimize compellingly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually embrace dynamic e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will strategize the aptitude of mindshare to repurpose. Think frictionless. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incubate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient". We will increase our capacity to mesh without decreasing our power to strategize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It sounds astounding, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to leverage robustly. The capacity to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to facilitate strategically. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the commonly-accepted term "seamless accounting reports" really mean? If you drive interactively, you may have to seize iteravely. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Without plug-and-play accounting, you will lack Total Quality Management. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar branding. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end iteration and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We will brand the buzzword "robust". The re-purposing factor is dot-com. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7/365? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! If you drive proactively, you may have to architect virally.