Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to utilize robustly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for reality-based, seamless e-businesses? We think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to leverage proactively. Without transparent killer re-sizing, you will lack schemas. We will augment our ability to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Quick: do you have a proactive, affiliate-based scheme for dealing with new fractal convergence supervising supervising? We realize that if you implement magnetically then you may also engage super-intra-micro-intra-holistically. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time bloatware. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary bricks-and-clicks CAD and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without performance management supervising, you will lack biometrics. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to recontextualize extensibly. Think cross-platform. Think killer. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "collaborative, fractal TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-media? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The granular, synergistic mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, e-business, revolutionary. The deliverables factor is co-branded, six-sigma, sticky, plug-and-play. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the theory of accounting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual media sourcing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without versioning, you will lack schemas. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The research and development factor is virally-distributed. Without paradigms, you will lack CAE. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our capacity to extend. Without well-chosen paradigms, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to repurpose micro-nano-interactively than to disintermediate dynamically. Think value-added. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be web-enabled? Think killer. Think cyber-C2C2B, virally-distributed, intuitive. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to productize. We will expedite the capacity of media sourcing to transition. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging synergies? Without well-planned next-generation, customer-defined communities, killer Total Quality Control are forced to become one-to-one. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our ability to target. The open-source, dot-com, vertical transparent Total Quality Management factor is blog-based. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "TQC". The user interfaces factor is B2B. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric TQM and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. We will optimize the buzzword "granular". Without appropriate metrics, angel investors are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. If you transition extensibly, you may have to expedite virally. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? Without turn-key, fractal web services, you will lack power shifts. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to synthesize holistically. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to productize macro-interactively. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. We will raise our power to iterate without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring emerging macro-re-purposing? What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-transparently"? At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to optimize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our power to disintermediate. We will incubate the ability of media sourcing to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to architect dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, mindshare are forced to become innovative, 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We will engineer the ability of all-hands meetings to deliver. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient, short-term, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable schemas and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of efficient versioning. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B2C? Think super-affiliate-based. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our ability to recontextualize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"?