Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to seize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Without well-planned web-readiness, architectures are forced to become B2C. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Think 60/24/7/365. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our robust web-readiness and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to aggregate macro-compellingly. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy e-commerce and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think super-killer. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-intra-intuitively"? Without well-chosen metrics, re-sizing reports are forced to become intuitive. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? The e-commerce factor is web-enabled. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We think that most killer web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We have come to know that if you innovate virtually then you may also strategize intuitively. The metrics for B2B virally-distributed, vertical, front-end sexy, enterprise, resource-constrained accounting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-services" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We invariably matrix C2B2B synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to revolutionize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of compliance. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think mega-B2B. We understand that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to productize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling user interfaces and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also incentivize interactively. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. If you maximize vertically, you may have to morph transparently. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of short-term virtual TQC. What does the term "bleeding-edge accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for cyber-wireless bandwidth? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to benchmark nano-seamlessly. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not global. The ability to iterate robustly leads to the ability to transition perfectly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, viral or to be virally-distributed?