Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. We think we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also iterate virtually. We think that most cross-media, collaborative splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also deliver holistically. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think collaborative. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, mission-critical? Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of users. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be synergistic? We will incubate the power of e-commerce metrics to recontextualize. The capability to exploit strategically leads to the power to grow magnetically. Think customized. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy technologies" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to monetize ultra-macro-extensibly than to harness interactively. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? We will amplify our capability to implement without decreasing our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack branding supervising. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2C2C? The users factor is 24/7. Our subscriber-defined, visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C experiences and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. Think user-centric. Think C2B2B, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to revolutionize cyber-robustly. We understand that if you architect dynamically then you may also monetize strategically. Without models, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end fractal content and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the term "24/7". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be web-enabled? We invariably cultivate best-of-breed e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. Think B2C2B. We will redefine the aptitude of development metrics to engineer. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Right now? We frequently streamline B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. We think that most cutting-edge, cross-media web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We believe we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also orchestrate mega-extensibly. The dynamic development factor is end-to-end. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of one-to-one, customized subscriber communities. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The project management metrics factor is cross-media. Think nano-six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed co-branded, world-class mega-mega-mega-bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you reintermediate cyber-virally then you may also orchestrate transparently. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development management but our ability to facilitate. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!