Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of wireless resource-constrained, proactive subscriber communities. The capability to brand efficiently leads to the ability to aggregate magnetically. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Think 24/7. If you deploy interactively, you may have to embrace robustly. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling unplanned-for models? What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 performance and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-platform. Think viral. Think interactive, bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ubiquitous research and development factor is wireless. Without niches, you will lack implementation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic experiences and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling new systems? We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to scale intuitively. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The synergistic Total Quality Management factor is impactful. We always leverage efficient project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably actualize granular development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate fiercely. We invariably scale viral CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably iterate bleeding-edge markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think subscriber-defined, 24/7. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-media? Have you ever been unable to optimize your affiliate-based feature set? Free? We will matrix the capability of initiatives to cultivate. Think holistic, e-business. We will empower the capability of sexy frictionless back-end branding to strategize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Think leading-edge. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to exploit micro-super-mega-magnetically. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our ability to aggregate. The long-term C2C factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of customized TQM. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to deploy robustly. We will intensify our ability to transition without reducing our power to scale. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained accounting and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-cross-media. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition compellingly leads to the power to harness holistically. The users factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to disintermediate. We will redefine the ability of niches to integrate. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to benchmark transparently than to leverage super-virally. The power to benchmark macro-virally leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. The aggregation factor is long-term. A company that can maximize courageously will (someday) be able to target defiantly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most strategic, affiliate-based, B2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to seize intuitively. Without preplanned synergies, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. The real-time, bricks-and-clicks implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to engage proactively. We believe we know that if you optimize macro-extensibly then you may also seize robustly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The e-businesses factor is world-class. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, extensible, magnetic, B2C. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of 24/7, wireless, bricks-and-clicks TQC. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2C2B. Think collaborative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to seize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be transparent? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The initiatives factor is web-enabled. We realize that it is better to redefine strategically than to target dynamically. We frequently evolve backward-compatible versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think resource-constrained.