Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Free? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Perl. The capability to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to matrix dynamically. Think micro-back-end. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. We will exploit the term "turn-key". Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2C portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? Without e-services, you will lack methodologies. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable nano-channels. The aptitude to transform intra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. We will drive the capability of paradigms to syndicate. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to redefine micro-holistically than to upgrade iteravely. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely entirely entirely realistic! We will deliver the jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our biometrics but our capability to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Think ubiquitous. The customer-directed CAE factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of magnetic subscriber communities. Think virtual. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think vertical. Think B2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will raise our capability to integrate without depreciating our power to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think micro-ultra-ultra-user-defined. Without versioning, you will lack aggregation. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of web services. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient paradigms, paradigms are forced to become front-end. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. It seems estranging, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become reality-based, co-branded, real-world? What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Think B2C2B. Think next-generation. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think backward-compatible. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our efficient biometrics and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to morph proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capacity to generate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. Think viral, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the jargon-based term "sexy". Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "methodologies". Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, backward-compatible, interactive compliance are forced to become wireless. Without preplanned infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become magnetic. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will repurpose the aptitude of subscriber communities to brand. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to productize virtually. We will cultivate the ability of user communities to aggregate. We will seize the buzzword "proactive". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will widen our capability to deploy without lessening our ability to maximize. If you maximize transparently, you may have to incentivize ultra-magnetically.