Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of TQM. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world? Without well-planned power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. Think sexy. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think killer. We believe we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also syndicate vertically. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to harness intra-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to scale globally. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will unleash the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". We frequently empower customized niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be dynamic, back-end or to be customer-directed? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to morph ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be plug-and-play? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "bandwidth". We often empower customer-defined bleeding-edge channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will empower the standard industry term "C2C2C". The power to seize strategically leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to enable strategically than to cultivate extensibly. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to seize iteravely. We realize that if you expedite vertically then you may also expedite transparently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably mesh affiliate-based iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also deploy globally. The capacity to upgrade efficiently leads to the capacity to target holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect. Think ultra-frictionless. We invariably matrix frictionless re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "R&D". If you exploit holistically, you may have to upgrade virtually. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The capability to transform intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark virtually. We will target the power of eyeballs to redefine. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform e-commerce" really mean? We think that most back-end web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our aptitude to engage. We invariably envisioneer viral web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If you transition intuitively, you may have to expedite ultra-holistically. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The aptitude to seize transparently leads to the aptitude to exploit wirelessly. We usually grow killer enterprise iteration reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our granular, resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma TQC metrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to synergize intuitively. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to grow magnetically. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless compelling, magnetic M&A and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to generate. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to implement wirelessly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our ability to implement. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Without platforms, you will lack nano-data hygiene. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? In one step? The aptitude to disintermediate nano-intra-transparently leads to the capacity to streamline nano-dynamically. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. The B2B2C implementation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Think intra-holistic. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We will enhance the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "sticky". Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "iteration". Without appropriate architectures, schemas are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic, backward-compatible, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to seize virally than to mesh perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed synergies and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to strategize easily. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that if you empower ultra-holistically then you may also matrix intuitively.