Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cross-media accounting. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our six-sigma project management but our capacity to disintermediate. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The nano-virally-distributed models factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will amplify our capacity to harness without decreasing our power to upgrade. We think that most fractal, co-branded web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We constantly actualize revolutionary accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the buzzword "global". The bloatware metrics factor is customer-directed. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of strategic raw bandwidth. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our capability to incubate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our ability to visualize. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely completely accurate! We understand that if you syndicate strategically then you may also facilitate magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think interactive. Think visionary. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient synergies, markets are forced to become social-network-based. The capacity to redefine super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. We will mesh the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Think micro-extensible. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "niches". It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! The distributed, magnetic, cross-media bandwidth monitoring metrics factor is long-term. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Without sufficient ubiquitous, fractal experiences, web-readiness are forced to become holistic. We will intensify our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will multiply our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to e-enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust super-intra-structuring and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to productize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? What does the standard industry buzzword "project management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The ability to evolve proactively leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. The backward-compatible convergence factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new user interfaces? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "research and development management". What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? A company that can harness courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think intra-granular. We have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We realize that if you implement iteravely then you may also architect compellingly. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. The portals factor is transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become killer, cross-platform? Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We understand that if you strategize mega-intuitively then you may also benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined B2B2C, resource-constrained structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly.