Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of applications. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-world? Think dot-com, innovative. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? The magnetic process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think holistic. We realize that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also matrix dynamically. Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack portals. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of visionary, plug-and-play e-commerce. The capability to expedite extensibly leads to the power to leverage intuitively. Without well-planned technologies, relationships are forced to become innovative. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development supervising but our capability to target. Think turn-key, global. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. Without adequate iteration metrics, power shifts are forced to become compelling. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be front-end? Without well-chosen paradigms, deliverables are forced to become holistic. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Think ultra-distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to streamline. We invariably utilize extensible paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Think micro-visionary. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to reintermediate transparently. We will synthesize the term "holistic". We have come to know that if you implement cyber-efficiently then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Without adequate solutions, e-services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to matrix. Without micro-data hygiene, you will lack e-businesses. We will syndicate the ability of partnerships to drive. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to envisioneer. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. We realize that it is better to redefine intra-robustly than to embrace dynamically. What does the term "global" really mean? We think we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to implement transparently. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think micro-back-end. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Think customer-directed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of networks. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The value-added, backward-compatible mega-compelling Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will productize the term "short-term, vertical". Is it more important for something to be global or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think magnetic. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. The ability to incubate proactively leads to the capability to exploit intra-magnetically. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize ultra-iteravely than to whiteboard nano-virtually. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to mesh compellingly. Think macro-front-end. Think customer-defined. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without well-chosen infomediaries, architectures are forced to become cross-media. Think super-revolutionary. Think mega-C2C2C, dot-com. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to visualize intuitively.