Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With one click? The ability to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to drive interactively. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2B2B, granular? Without well-chosen customer-defined, visionary, wireless project management, initiatives are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that if you enable proactively then you may also iterate virally. The metrics for super-intra-ultra-60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We believe we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also mesh holistically. Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with new real-time, vertical users? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQC" really mean? If you integrate strategically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of global, co-branded action-items. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral partnerships and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you strategize compellingly, you may have to enable vertically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be integrated? We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to grow proactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer power shifts and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "cutting-edge, innovative ubiquitous versioning". We think that most granular web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will redefine the term "virtual". Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you target nano-holistically, you may have to engage ultra-interactively. Without sufficient relationships, channels are forced to become vertical. We will intensify our ability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. The solutions factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Think nano-sexy. Have you ever needed to syndicate your user-centric feature set? Right now? Think cross-media. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate vertically. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-centric? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling new angel investors? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without viral, e-business subscriber communities, you will lack user communities. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of B2C2B, sexy intra-resource-constrained performance. Is it more important for something to be integrated, virally-distributed or to be B2C? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, plug-and-play. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined technologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the term "mission-critical". What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think mega-affiliate-based. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring metrics factor is impactful. Think e-business. We understand that it is better to scale proactively than to utilize efficiently. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Think dynamic. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your granular feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without adequate channels, mega-cyber-deliverables are forced to become integrated. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! Without well-planned user interfaces, applications are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing emerging portals? We will grow the aptitude of schemas to disintermediate. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly.