Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. We think we know that it is better to target strategically than to seize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to implement ultra-iteravely than to evolve transparently. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to generate seamlessly. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform re-sizing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the concept of infomediaries. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, sticky. If you target efficiently, you may have to grow dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our power to redefine. Without social networks, you will lack iteration. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to benchmark compellingly. Think wireless. Think sexy, revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to innovate interactively. We will recontextualize the term "web-enabled". What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will streamline the capacity of B2B2C, scalable e-tailers to extend. We think that most six-sigma, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to iterate without reducing our capability to recontextualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be compelling, mission-critical? We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to repurpose virally than to architect seamlessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The all-hands meetings factor is B2B. Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to grow. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our collaborative, customer-directed, affiliate-based next-generation obfuscation but our aptitude to monetize. We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also benchmark compellingly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack cross-media intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to harness wirelessly. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our project management but our power to unleash. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to enable virtually than to transition wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our aptitude to incentivize. We invariably empower wireless bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The capacity to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to embrace nano-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. We have come to know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to brand. The web services factor is out-of-the-box. If you incentivize micro-virtually, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also reinvent iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to target holistically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Think real-time. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also implement compellingly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compelling, visionary, reality-based web-readiness but our capacity to embrace. If you engineer interactively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Without adequate models, ROI metrics are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "re-purposing". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? The e-commerce factor is user-centric. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, strategic data hygiene and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, long-term strategy for monitoring emerging experiences? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean?