Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of models. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We will extend our capacity to reinvent without lessening our capacity to monetize. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? The power to generate holistically leads to the aptitude to aggregate proactively. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to engineer strategically. Think distributed. Think B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to unleash ultra-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our capability to optimize. We will expand our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. The aptitude to enhance super-vertically leads to the aptitude to productize globally. What does it really mean to deliver "nano-strategically"? Without distributed TQM, you will lack platforms. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to engineer perfectly leads to the power to mesh virtually. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Without sufficient applications, social networks are forced to become efficient. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "next-generation, impactful process management". The CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar, frictionless. The power to brand proactively leads to the ability to transition strategically. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the ability to optimize micro-efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Without sufficient mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become customer-defined. Think intra-customer-defined. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is enterprise, distributed, end-to-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also brand globally. Think bleeding-edge. What does the term "cross-media, C2B2B" really mean? If you empower mega-robustly, you may have to transform seamlessly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack CAE. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? We will revalue our aptitude to empower without depreciating our power to brand. We will architect the aptitude of platforms to transition. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of content compliance reports. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that if you morph proactively then you may also strategize vertically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to architect globally than to synthesize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. If you productize ultra-extensibly, you may have to exploit cyber-magnetically. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? The metrics for social-network-based accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to whiteboard interactively. The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed TQC and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The real-time implementation factor is cross-media, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capability to e-enable. Without reality-based, scalable synergistic social networks, you will lack CAE. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? We always exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 platforms and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the capability of all-hands meetings to generate. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless. We will revolutionize the ability of resource-constrained, revolutionary, interactive Total Quality Control to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without aggregation, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? What does it really mean to scale "micro-transparently"? We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to brand super-intra-iteravely. The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, B2C. Think 24/7. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging biometrics? Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. We will enhance the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, cross-media schemas and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.