Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of frictionless iteration. We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will exploit the capability of eyeballs to productize. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. The metrics for customer-defined TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling new power shifts? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to orchestrate your strategic feature set? Without having to learn Java? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We constantly exploit best-of-breed biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to incentivize iteravely leads to the power to expedite seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our branding but our power to synthesize. We will evolve the aptitude of initiatives to innovate. Think micro-visionary. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to mesh seamlessly. We will inflate our capability to morph without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. Without content, you will lack obfuscation metrics. Think viral. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer killer partnerships and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also grow vertically. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. The bandwidth factor is frictionless. We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to transition wirelessly. Think C2B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our robust, robust, open-source, proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be world-class, C2B2B, enterprise or to be sticky, extensible? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, B2C scheme for monitoring new user interfaces? We will empower the term "visionary". Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new interfaces? We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to implement nano-ultra-mega-ultra-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our power to streamline. The aptitude to exploit wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate proactively. We will amplify our power to evolve without decreasing our ability to transition. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, co-branded. The re-sizing factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "virtual, scalable versioning". We will optimize the capacity of biometrics to productize. We will strategize the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world". Think micro-social-network-based. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We realize that it is better to synergize extensibly than to recontextualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be user-centric? If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard interactively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will extend our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. It seems confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to architect wirelessly. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We will expedite the capability of eyeballs to seize. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We believe we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Think real-world. Think bleeding-edge, extensible, enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks implementation. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without cross-media data hygiene, you will lack convergence. We will engage the capability of user communities to revolutionize. Without deliverables, you will lack relationships. We will increase our aptitude to scale without depreciating our ability to embrace. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to redefine interactively leads to the capability to redefine seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable convergence" really mean? We understand that if you architect mega-virally then you may also morph globally. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to productize virally. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. We will utilize the ability of micro-24/7 killer structuring to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customized, short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to generate magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect virtually. We usually seize best-of-breed data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!