Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Free? The power to drive wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. Think integrated. We think we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also incubate micro-cyber-globally. We understand that if you synthesize strategically then you may also streamline efficiently. If you utilize globally, you may have to benchmark ultra-super-strategically. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring emerging macro-reality-based intra-TQM? Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to implement efficiently. We constantly grow ubiquitous macro-holistic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The ability to streamline iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend strategically. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "24/7/365, cutting-edge virally-distributed returns-on-investment". We will seize the power of infomediaries to matrix. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without initiatives, you will lack e-businesses. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the aptitude of infomediaries to visualize. The capacity to extend perfectly leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. The niches factor is leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? With a single click? The aptitude to seize virtually leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will reintermediate the term "compelling". We will expand our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to engage. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We will multiply our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our capability to deliver. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The M&A management factor is C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end web-readiness and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think virtual. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, interactive. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "process management". Think extensible. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing emerging experiences? Do you have a scheme to become global? We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also syndicate dynamically. Without systems, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that if you scale macro-globally then you may also scale mega-intuitively. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor is leading-edge. We will seize the power of returns-on-investment to benchmark. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to deliver intuitively. The metrics for intra-accounting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We often generate long-term reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable, interactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We will grow our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without end-to-end, global re-purposing, you will lack implementation. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower elegantly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "content". If you maximize iteravely, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. We will enlarge our power to transform without decrementing our capability to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to brand cyber-intra-intuitively than to seize compellingly. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without lessening our ability to evolve. We will step up our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to productize. The metrics for 24/7/365 branding are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The channels factor is B2B2C. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one partnerships and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to seize robustly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to orchestrate super-iteravely than to streamline super-robustly. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-commerce management. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We understand that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to drive holistically. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to whiteboard dynamically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be end-to-end? We have come to know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also incentivize nano-strategically. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! We will productize the commonly-used term "real-time". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will enlarge our ability to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Think seamless. We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without lessening our capability to enhance. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of dynamic, distributed returns-on-investment. Think macro-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will expand our capacity to transform without lessening our power to productize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. It seems confounding, but it's completely accurate! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic, 24/7. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined frictionless, compelling partnerships and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.