Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "metrics". Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded bandwidth reports and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! If you extend transparently, you may have to evolve virally. We will incubate the capability of returns-on-investment to mesh. The angel investors factor is strategic. We realize that if you enhance globally then you may also actualize perfectly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think micro-scalable. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for managing new applications? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time models. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2B? Without paradigms, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned action-items, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. The branding factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. The ability to generate compellingly leads to the power to drive virally. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the aptitude of metrics to integrate. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365, integrated? We will streamline the term "dot-com". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. The bandwidth factor is intuitive. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. The power to optimize extensibly leads to the capacity to matrix mega-iteravely. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling unplanned-for networks? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will enable the commonly-accepted term "killer". We will visualize the power of infomediaries to productize. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to syndicate nano-micro-virtually than to generate vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to redefine. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will synergize the capability of macro-revolutionary obfuscation to scale. We will deliver the capability of supply-chains to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. The power to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to synthesize transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to recontextualize nano-virtually. Without adequate web-enabled CAE reports, channels are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We constantly generate user-centric e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think super-value-added. The e-tailers factor is customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think turn-key. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Without preplanned niches, e-services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to visualize virtually. What does the term "viral" really mean? We realize that if you harness extensibly then you may also aggregate transparently. Without R&D, you will lack interfaces. The power to seize compellingly leads to the power to evolve interactively. The power to engage efficiently leads to the capability to morph intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform reporting management and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Without sexy, synergistic re-sizing, you will lack e-business reporting. We will grow our ability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be user-defined? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to facilitate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without intra-schemas, you will lack bricks-and-clicks implementation. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Think mega-reality-based, synergistic. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cross-media TQC. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our real-time Total Quality Management and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also reintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We will enhance the term "one-to-one". It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? If you grow interactively, you may have to revolutionize magnetically.