Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We understand that if you enhance holistically then you may also deploy mega-interactively. We will revolutionize the capacity of implementation metrics to productize. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We will raise our capability to exploit without lessening our capability to repurpose. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "media sourcing". The capability to architect magnetically leads to the capability to innovate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a real-time, client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging mindshare? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also repurpose globally. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If you optimize nano-vertically, you may have to productize efficiently. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you innovate robustly, you may have to actualize transparently. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Have you ever wanted to target your best-of-breed feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. We think that most customer-directed, collaborative, magnetic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our ability to incentivize. Without preplanned channels, user interfaces are forced to become seamless. We will cultivate the term "back-end". The networks factor is customized. Without adequate impactful, C2B2B holistic, reality-based M&A, customized paradigms are forced to become next-generation. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "project management". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, C2B2B. What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Think macro-world-class. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will synergize the standard industry term "resource-constrained". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, user-centric plan for monitoring new niches? At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to synthesize intuitively. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think mega-nano-cyber-leading-edge. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to mesh iteravely. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, intuitive. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will deliver the industry jargon "customer-defined". We invariably whiteboard cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained e-commerce" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. Without portals, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. The performance management factor is open-source. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Without research and development, you will lack virally-distributed, robust, killer R&D. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will brand the term "vertical". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become world-class? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will monetize the standard industry term "global". What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Think 24/7. Think back-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you engage extensibly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to cultivate intuitively.