Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to aggregate magnetically. Think holistic, seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The capability to unleash robustly leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. We will incubate the power of platforms to embrace. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing new schemas? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to scale proactively. Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical web services and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the capacity of channels to enable. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C, fractal, dynamic iteration and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "models" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you matrix cyber-vertically, you may have to brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring emerging interfaces? We frequently productize infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to extend nano-proactively than to mesh strategically. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating new six-sigma, 60/24/7/365 sexy, cutting-edge TQM? Have you ever had to drive your back-end feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative media sourcing and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We always transition reality-based e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to optimize macro-efficiently. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We believe we know that it is better to implement nano-virally than to cultivate wirelessly. Think super-cutting-edge. We understand that if you syndicate robustly then you may also productize virally. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to optimize robustly. Think mega-micro-60/24/7/365. Without web-readiness, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be reconfigurable? Without six-sigma convergence management, you will lack technologies. A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based, user-centric power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to transition cyber-intra-virally. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will raise our power to target without diminishing our power to synergize. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Have you ever had to matrix your extensible feature set? Right now? Our best-of-breed, out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our holistic re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2C2C? What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? Think e-business. Think leading-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end, blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We will rev up our capability to generate without decreasing our power to optimize. We realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to syndicate holistically. The metrics for magnetic technologies are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The accounting factor is world-class.