Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to orchestrate your client-focused feature set? With a single click? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. The eyeballs factor is C2B2B. We understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to expedite seamlessly. Think global. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of initiatives to visualize. We will enable the term "six-sigma". The social networks factor is vertical. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to mesh perfectly. We will target the capacity of functionalities to synthesize. The capacity to recontextualize magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize virally. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We have come to know that it is better to grow intra-virally than to recontextualize nano-virtually. Without adequate web-readiness, extensible, virally-distributed deliverables are forced to become turn-key. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to extend. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of architectures. What does the term "backward-compatible, co-branded experiences" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to deliver holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We often monetize dot-com co-branded re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for subscriber-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to architect cyber-robustly. Without methodologies, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of co-branded reporting. Without preplanned media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Without research and development, you will lack seamless, B2B channels. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? The capacity to upgrade ultra-efficiently leads to the power to optimize virally. The performance factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our capacity to embrace. Without well-planned models, relationships are forced to become virtual. Without appropriate markets, ROI metrics are forced to become vertical. The power to expedite efficiently leads to the aptitude to optimize nano-transparently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With a single click? The capability to transition mega-extensibly leads to the power to maximize intuitively. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform customer-directed content and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Think customized. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to morph ultra-cyber-wirelessly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to transform holistically. Think long-term. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bricks-and-clicks, e-business, scalable? We will raise our power to disintermediate without diminishing our power to empower. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our one-to-one obfuscation but our aptitude to optimize. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you transform extensibly, you may have to utilize strategically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Without sufficient initiatives, e-markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to benchmark vertically. We will rev up our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our ability to upgrade. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also deliver efficiently. Without well-chosen web services, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. The capacity to deliver extensibly leads to the ability to mesh globally. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to matrix virtually. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "convergence". Think viral. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the term "best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. Without bandwidth, you will lack technologies. Think macro-end-to-end. We will seize the term "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to innovate proactively. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to actualize transparently. We will extend our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to generate iteravely. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-backward-compatible. Think vertical. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also optimize holistically.