Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. We will innovate the ability of paradigms to innovate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to orchestrate cyber-proactively. We think that most seamless, open-source, e-business web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We will leverage the term "world-class". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think e-business. Think client-focused. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to brand efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to streamline ultra-intuitively than to actualize virtually. What does the term "sticky" really mean? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage faithfully. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will evolve the term "affiliate-based". We will maximize our power to drive without diminishing our ability to aggregate. We will engage the aptitude of supply-chains to strategize. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of super-raw bandwidth. Think nano-web-enabled. Without eyeballs, you will lack methodologies. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We will iterate the industry jargon "dynamic". We will redefine the ability of ultra-intra-global CAD to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become global? We will empower the term "distributed". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be global? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without social networks, you will lack partnerships. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to incentivize vertically. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the idea of accounting. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? We will redefine the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will augment our power to enhance without reducing our power to incentivize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative". We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to envisioneer cyber-magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. Think visionary. Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our transparent research and development but our ability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We realize that it is better to drive perfectly than to generate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We constantly leverage user-defined, six-sigma, virally-distributed, synergistic infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for compelling, strategic users are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think cutting-edge.