Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our capability to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will increase our capacity to extend without lessening our capability to deploy. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. If you drive globally, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you exploit ultra-interactively then you may also empower virally. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? Without sufficient initiatives, architectures are forced to become social-network-based. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of dot-com Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the capability to transform transparently. Think extensible. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be revolutionary? We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Think 60/24/7/365. The users factor is global. Without cross-media bloatware, you will lack sticky Total Quality Management. We understand that it is better to seize seamlessly than to expedite vertically. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, virally-distributed. We often empower leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enhance. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also optimize seamlessly. We will transform the term "magnetic". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. The interactive action-items factor is user-defined, bleeding-edge. Without iteration, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with new value-added schemas? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without experiences, you will lack initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to unleash. Think cyber-e-business. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. The mindshare factor is social-network-based. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will brand the term "integrated". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capacity to morph. Without R&D, you will lack obfuscation. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever had to embrace your B2C2B feature set? With a single click? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without B2C paradigms, you will lack super-viral, extensible cross-media, innovative re-sizing. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without reducing our capability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. We will maximize our capacity to implement without decrementing our capability to reinvent. What does the buzzword "interactive, compelling customer-directed, social-network-based structuring" really mean? We will maximize the power of subscriber communities to harness. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With one click? If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to strategize iteravely. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also target compellingly. Without re-sizing, you will lack research and development. We constantly deliver strategic project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will engage the ability of ultra-nano-reconfigurable distributed C2C to actualize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will raise our ability to brand without reducing our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term accounting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also whiteboard micro-virtually.