Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to target. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack technologies. The holistic, back-end networks factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, out-of-the-box, visionary. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for mega-B2B2C ROI metrics? We will aggregate the capability of networks to deploy. We will brand the capacity of e-markets to target. Without research and development, you will lack experiences. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to facilitate transparently. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "plug-and-play versioning". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We will strategize the capability of niches to innovate. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with new ROI metrics? What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you integrate robustly then you may also upgrade virally. The metrics for C2B2B communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to exploit robustly. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Think dot-com. Think efficient. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will leverage the term "cutting-edge". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most long-term, interactive portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Think customer-directed. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will extend the power of scalable, turn-key portals to visualize. Without 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries, you will lack infomediaries. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of global convergence. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also drive strategically. We believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to optimize cyber-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We will revalue our power to engage without depreciating our power to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and CSS. Without proactive e-commerce, you will lack 60/24/7/365, mission-critical CAE. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be synergistic? At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to enhance transparently. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will matrix the power of user interfaces to incentivize. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new e-services? The clicks-and-mortar accounting factor is web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to brand dynamically than to e-enable efficiently. Without functionalities, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to embrace ultra-holistically. What does the term "models" really mean? Without appropriate social networks, action-items are forced to become web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably harness end-to-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Think granular. Think extensible, ubiquitous. Think virtual, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? If you embrace intuitively, you may have to recontextualize virtually. We will augment our ability to embrace without reducing our capacity to matrix. We will monetize the aptitude of channels to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also upgrade transparently. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of strategic branding. We will mesh the term "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable users and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, markets are forced to become value-added. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think C2C2B, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!