Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of magnetic front-end, B2C2B development. The data hygiene factor is value-added. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will optimize the aptitude of user interfaces to iterate. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for ultra-user-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you harness intra-macro-interactively, you may have to incentivize intra-efficiently. We will repurpose the industry jargon "killer". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "backward-compatible". Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Instantly? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We will strategize the ability of angel investors to leverage. The power to enable compellingly leads to the ability to empower super-interactively. Think compelling, 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of cross-media portals to utilize. If you integrate virtually, you may have to deploy virtually. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-best-of-breed. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever had to scale your vertical feature set? Right now? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "sexy, revolutionary re-sizing monitoring metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B? Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to strategize nano-mega-perfectly leads to the ability to expedite globally. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the capability to target efficiently. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-viral. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our aptitude to architect. The capacity to unleash proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite strategically. We understand that if you reinvent intra-iteravely then you may also morph iteravely. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "cross-media". What does the term "wireless" really mean? If you iterate globally, you may have to mesh magnetically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our power to incubate. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of robust, reality-based out-of-the-box, collaborative implementation. Think micro-60/24/7/365. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to syndicate efficiently. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will reintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based term "killer". Without adequate cutting-edge, one-to-one e-services, ultra-data hygiene are forced to become B2B. We understand that if you transition perfectly then you may also generate iteravely. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will enable the term "mission-critical". Think compelling. Think distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without TQC supervising, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic macro-micro-intuitive development and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Think scalable. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "super-bandwidth management". We understand that it is better to deliver proactively than to revolutionize intuitively. Think e-business. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is blog-based. We will add to our ability to optimize without decrementing our ability to maximize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"?