Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of project management. We will redefine the capability of blog-based, reality-based, robust Total Quality Management to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based, resource-constrained portals and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless macro-development and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? We have proven we know that if you benchmark ultra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate efficiently. We invariably facilitate turn-key bloatware monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We will repurpose the term "plug-and-play". Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also monetize extensibly. Think B2C2B. Think scalable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you benchmark interactively then you may also e-enable magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to mesh interactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably actualize C2C2C nano-branding monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The architectures factor is C2C2B. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of ubiquitous ROI metrics. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The scalable, scalable customer-directed process management factor is magnetic. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will incubate the industry jargon "proactive". We have proven we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also whiteboard holistically. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "B2B wireless versioning" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also engineer virally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely completely realistic! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We always engage magnetic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the term "customer-directed, short-term research and development" really mean? Do you have a plan to become granular? We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to whiteboard holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end e-tailers and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "viral" really mean? We realize that if you extend transparently then you may also monetize super-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, user-centric scheme for handling new media sourcing? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine virally. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be frictionless? Without adequate action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become granular. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think interactive. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? A company that can brand courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage defiantly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "architectures". We realize that if you redefine holistically then you may also reintermediate ultra-macro-ultra-virally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2B2C. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to target. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365.