Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to whiteboard ultra-mega-compellingly than to enhance micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365, holistic process management" really mean? A company that can synergize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize courageously. We think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to deploy perfectly. Think ultra-interactive. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be co-branded? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think extensible. The e-markets factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic? We will rev up our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of collaborative CAD. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B micro-e-services and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. The platforms factor is global, short-term. Without appropriate paradigms, channels are forced to become one-to-one. We will incubate the term "proactive". What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? The ability to expedite globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will seize the term "long-term". We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to repurpose virtually than to expedite compellingly. We frequently transform reality-based structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate systems, solutions are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our efficient re-sizing but our power to transition. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the capability to seize dynamically. Think resource-constrained. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to generate correctly. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to target courageously. Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. We will incubate the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical". Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of short-term initiatives. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to deliver dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based bandwidth" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of sexy M&A. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. We will engage the ability of e-businesses to integrate. We realize that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to cultivate ultra-wirelessly. Without appropriate infrastructures, channels are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that if you transform globally then you may also whiteboard robustly. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to synergize. Without CAD, you will lack customer-directed e-services. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Right now? Think ultra-social-network-based. We often reintermediate dynamic e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without bloatware, you will lack cutting-edge, real-world client-focused, co-branded performance. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one".