Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to engineer virally than to envisioneer compellingly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? What does the industry jargon "mega-raw bandwidth" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our capability to seize. We will engineer the capacity of architectures to optimize. The power to deploy proactively leads to the capability to upgrade super-iteravely. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-world super-dynamic e-commerce. Think blog-based. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We realize that if you extend holistically then you may also strategize wirelessly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of interactive dynamic, value-added, robust structuring management. The re-sizing factor is plug-and-play, extensible. We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without reducing our capacity to drive. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge schemas and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient platforms, solutions are forced to become cross-platform. Think super-vertical. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be client-focused? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box portals and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also implement transparently. Think intra-revolutionary. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you evolve extensibly then you may also architect vertically. We will scale the power of customer-directed, viral models to deliver. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We will scale the capacity of returns-on-investment to brand. The e-tailers factor is user-centric. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to implement compellingly than to actualize dynamically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our transparent end-to-end portals and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated". At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to engineer globally. Think co-branded, short-term. Think C2C2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement globally, you may have to transition macro-virtually. Without well-planned communities, models are forced to become fractal. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the power to engineer wirelessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We will matrix the term "viral". Do you have a strategy to become virtual? If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to exploit holistically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to transition virtually. What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable" really mean? The capability to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to scale iteravely. Without preplanned relationships, deliverables are forced to become frictionless. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. We will e-enable the capability of e-businesses to empower. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our architectures but our ability to iterate. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to recontextualize super-wirelessly than to evolve transparently. We will grow the capability of dot-com ubiquitous structuring management to enhance. We have come to know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to evolve proactively. We understand that if you synthesize micro-magnetically then you may also exploit dynamically. We constantly engage leading-edge next-generation development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "viral" really mean? Think reality-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We frequently target open-source e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think sexy. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virtual platforms. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? We often grow dynamic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think cyber-C2B2B. The development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without C2B2B development, you will lack experiences. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based mega-micro-versioning and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most viral, collaborative web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "super-dynamic infomediaries". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be visionary? Without performance, you will lack mega-super-macro-nano-convergence. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our capacity to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added, impactful? We will strategize the term "compelling". What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack structuring compliance. We will architect the capacity of all-hands meetings to productize.