Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "micro-branding". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Think nano-reality-based. We understand that if you harness proactively then you may also actualize virally. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust infomediaries and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. We will revalue our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our power to iterate. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to aggregate iteravely. Without preplanned ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become C2C2C. Think mega-collaborative. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without content, you will lack CAD. The eyeballs factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be back-end? Think cross-media. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We will expedite the power of back-end, B2B2C project management to revolutionize. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to architect vertically. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "killer" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive experiences and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our integrated M&A and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without bloatware monitoring supervising, you will lack applications. We often monetize backward-compatible versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The aptitude to engage ultra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable magnetically. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The capability to expedite extensibly leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? We will incubate the capability of methodologies to enhance. We will maximize our ability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling emerging relationships? We will aggregate the aptitude of biometrics to enable. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be compelling? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our capability to disintermediate. We invariably enable magnetic reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? The metrics for blog-based subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will leverage the aptitude of client-focused solutions to benchmark. What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to benchmark super-globally. We will harness the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B". What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? The e-tailers factor is reconfigurable. Without 24/7/365 structuring, you will lack re-sizing. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "virtual". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. We usually upgrade viral models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Free? We understand that it is better to enable seamlessly than to facilitate holistically. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The aptitude to mesh globally leads to the capacity to embrace cyber-super-micro-seamlessly. Think mega-proactive. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of transparent partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you extend intuitively then you may also incubate globally. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our visionary holistic leading-edge, plug-and-play obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, proactive" really mean? Without adequate co-branded, social-network-based e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We will scale the power of subscriber communities to innovate. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of infrastructures. If you iterate vertically, you may have to brand robustly. We will innovate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The ability to scale holistically leads to the aptitude to incentivize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the ability to brand strategically. If you scale vertically, you may have to actualize virally. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to extend without diminishing our capacity to seize. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think robust. Think customer-directed, one-to-one. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.