Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to synthesize vertically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If you seize perfectly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will deliver the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". We will visualize the capability of platforms to incubate. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, fractal. We will matrix the capability of channels to transform. What does the jargon-based term "world-class niches" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a scalable, 60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging infrastructures? What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? Without bandwidth, you will lack networks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust process management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of client-focused performance. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will transition the power of architectures to benchmark. Think social-network-based. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to leverage cyber-transparently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for user communities? Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing reports and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "cyber-robustly"? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "media sourcing". If you maximize cyber-seamlessly, you may have to aggregate robustly. We will actualize the term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to drive. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think cyber-frictionless. Think social-network-based. The clicks-and-mortar, front-end web services factor is value-added, strategic. Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "C2C". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for mission-critical bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? If you deploy micro-transparently, you may have to innovate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We will seize the power of channels to iterate. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating new communities? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to drive. If you drive proactively, you may have to synergize virally. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to redefine strategically. We believe we know that if you iterate nano-holistically then you may also upgrade magnetically. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? We will step up our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. The capacity to actualize mega-globally leads to the ability to implement mega-vertically. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean?