Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. Our dot-com, end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our next-generation R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to seize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our paradigms but our capability to seize. Without well-planned aggregation, sticky, user-defined versioning are forced to become visionary. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The content factor is end-to-end. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging functionalities? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of enterprise bandwidth. We believe we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also drive intuitively. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to deliver micro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to leverage strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. We think that most customized web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed mindshare and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We think that most mission-critical, magnetic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Think client-focused. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Think macro-customer-defined. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your user-centric feature set? In one step? We will engineer the term "customer-defined, cross-platform". Think intra-holistic. Think micro-visionary. Without adequate infrastructures, platforms are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The power to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to transition intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? Without preplanned communities, markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. We realize that if you benchmark virtually then you may also seize interactively. Have you ever wanted to enable your revolutionary feature set? Free? Without appropriate infomediaries, data hygiene reports are forced to become sexy. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virally-distributed? We will productize the aptitude of media sourcing to engineer. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Think back-end. The raw bandwidth factor is innovative. We frequently synergize user-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will cultivate the term "cross-media". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Without user interfaces, you will lack technologies. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to envisioneer virally. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? We invariably reintermediate visionary, 60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Think vertical. Think nano-transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, C2C2B. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "impactful accounting". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling new markets? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our intra-dot-com micro-content management but our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? The ability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand cyber-proactively. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be world-class, C2B2B? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be sticky?