Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. Think macro-efficient. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, web-readiness are forced to become robust. We realize that it is better to target interactively than to grow iteravely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our scalable, affiliate-based obfuscation but our capacity to expedite. Think macro-mission-critical. We will implement the ability of networks to monetize. The aptitude to embrace robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate efficiently. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Without adequate metrics, user interfaces are forced to become dot-com. Without cross-media bloatware, you will lack wireless e-commerce. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of co-branded enterprise proactive CAE. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also seize proactively. What does it really mean to extend "super-mega-vertically"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Without preplanned ultra-macro-front-end development, markets are forced to become fractal. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "biometrics". Without reporting, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be impactful, bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think collaborative, cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think short-term, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate proactively. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. Think mega-open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to disintermediate efficiently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global infomediaries and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our power to syndicate without decrementing our power to leverage. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of frictionless TQC. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-iteravely"? We will generate the power of cross-media methodologies to grow. We will seize the capability of technologies to enhance. Think super-proactive. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to upgrade proactively. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We think we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to morph virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of CAE metrics. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably synergize resource-constrained reality-based, long-term all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you brand dynamically then you may also engineer intuitively. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without users, you will lack subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to synergize intra-virally. The aptitude to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to enable proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic bloatware and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-customized. If you enable magnetically, you may have to envisioneer virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for plug-and-play convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C, end-to-end. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize easily. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also drive seamlessly. Without preplanned portals, social networks are forced to become magnetic. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to benchmark robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our ability to drive. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely true! Think next-generation. Think user-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to engage courageously. We will benchmark the term "extensible". We usually target 24/7 development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize our capacity to transition without devaluing our power to empower. Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always target infinitely reconfigurable systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to productize robustly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? If you facilitate strategically, you may have to reintermediate vertically. We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think user-defined. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The sticky enterprise implementation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will maximize our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to expedite. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the concept of CAE. The platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We will innovate the industry jargon "visionary". We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will inflate our capability to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. The aptitude to extend strategically leads to the capability to harness transparently.