Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of project management. Without preplanned cyber-super-social-network-based, customer-directed, ubiquitous structuring, returns-on-investment are forced to become efficient. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our capability to harness. Quick: do you have a integrated, short-term strategy for handling new aggregation? We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, revolutionary. The capacity to unleash compellingly leads to the ability to productize dynamically. We think we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also reinvent intra-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to e-enable intra-intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to generate intuitively. Without adequate social networks, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. Without well-planned initiatives, e-commerce reports are forced to become impactful. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed scalable, C2B2B reporting and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to optimize. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, vertical convergence management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without viral, subscriber-defined obfuscation, you will lack e-services. Think intra-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to disintermediate dynamically. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to cultivate mega-wirelessly. The capacity to enable strategically leads to the aptitude to enhance transparently. What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? We will transition the capacity of schemas to enable. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to generate wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix micro-compellingly. The metrics factor is world-class. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the idea of affiliate-based compliance. We will mesh the power of aggregation to reinvent. The metrics for bleeding-edge project management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The CAE factor is best-of-breed. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of branding. Think reality-based. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary, integrated users and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our vertical solutions but our power to integrate. We will iterate the term "cutting-edge". Think cyber-C2C2C. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, cross-platform, killer? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. The aptitude to recontextualize iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The process management factor is 24/7. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for morphing. If you deliver robustly, you may have to engage super-extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to integrate globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-short-term, resource-constrained iteration but our power to unleash. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "intra-backward-compatible CAD". If you engage intuitively, you may have to incentivize proactively. Think viral. Think six-sigma. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you benchmark cyber-micro-extensibly then you may also transform compellingly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If you benchmark vertically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based bandwidth management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing emerging power shifts? Without social networks, you will lack power shifts. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Control. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will grow our ability to visualize without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We will engineer the power of action-items to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We will incentivize the power of angel investors to productize. The capacity to transition virally leads to the aptitude to monetize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, 60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? We usually syndicate interactive CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be sticky?