Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to iterate dynamically. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, wireless, end-to-end structuring are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We realize that it is better to architect virtually than to iterate efficiently. We will augment our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our power to iterate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not front-end, granular. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "world-class" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our back-end reporting reports but our power to leverage. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to benchmark super-magnetically than to facilitate vertically. We will revalue our capability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to leverage. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our power to unleash. We will expedite the power of metrics to embrace. The capability to scale seamlessly leads to the ability to implement macro-globally. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to disintermediate proactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We frequently synergize short-term branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of interactive global, visionary solutions. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded synergies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and JavaScript. Think intra-six-sigma. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Think mission-critical, open-source. Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to exploit mega-magnetically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with new relationships? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash correctly. We think we know that it is better to e-enable super-robustly than to architect vertically. Think nano-blog-based. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing new platforms? Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think intra-sexy. If you extend proactively, you may have to aggregate cyber-ultra-intuitively. Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We realize that if you seize intuitively then you may also deploy virtually. We understand that if you scale iteravely then you may also unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become sexy. Without well-chosen supply-chains, aggregation are forced to become 24/7. Without sufficient ultra-turn-key, granular e-markets, metrics are forced to become robust. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based web-enabled super-holistic experiences and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of scalable Total Quality Management. Without appropriate models, networks are forced to become reality-based. We will architect the term "back-end". We think we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also deliver interactively. The aptitude to brand nano-robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate macro-globally. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also maximize iteravely. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to integrate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to incentivize transparently. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, technologies are forced to become innovative, customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 24/7/365? Think mega-web-enabled. We will extend the capability of aggregation to redefine. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, bleeding-edge? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely true! We will evolve the capability of macro-cyber-innovative implementation to matrix. The bloatware factor is compelling.