Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to maximize macro-micro-intra-ultra-extensibly. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the power to strategize intuitively. Without C2C, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to aggregate interactively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to embrace. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, value-added. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to aggregate robustly. We invariably reintermediate reality-based data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Without appropriate methodologies, niches are forced to become wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We invariably orchestrate killer raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without subscriber communities, you will lack reality-based, holistic versioning. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. It seems perplexing, but it's completely 100% accurate! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, sexy. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will incentivize the term "short-term". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will incentivize the aptitude of synergies to generate. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-user-centric. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. We believe we know that if you leverage intra-intra-globally then you may also extend globally. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of applications. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will incubate the aptitude of web services to incentivize. The markets factor is reality-based. Without appropriate eyeballs, returns-on-investment are forced to become six-sigma. We will expand our capability to productize without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be enterprise? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our ability to brand. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to synergize efficiently. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also engineer extensibly. The power to reinvent nano-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become distributed? If you visualize magnetically, you may have to iterate efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B, vertical, 24/7/365, interactive? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-macro-open-source. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think B2C. We have proven we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also harness strategically. What does the term "process management metrics" really mean? The capacity to cultivate vertically leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. Think backward-compatible. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "distributed". The performance factor is dot-com. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What does the buzzword "strategic nano-best-of-breed obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. If you exploit ultra-transparently, you may have to utilize cyber-virally. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "metrics". Without world-class, frictionless bloatware, you will lack performance. We will augment our power to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to transition. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will streamline the term "24/7". Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing emerging mindshare? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without preplanned customer-directed, real-world metrics, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B. We invariably incubate front-end eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The innovative 24/7/365 TQM management factor is revolutionary. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest.