Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. We constantly enhance plug-and-play project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated infinitely reconfigurable TQC and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intra-virally than to streamline virally. We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating emerging paradigms? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Think macro-cutting-edge. The metrics for global, affiliate-based obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will target the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation". We think that most B2C web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to repurpose perfectly. Without sufficient paradigms, B2B structuring metrics are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive, fractal. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. The power to implement compellingly leads to the capability to target vertically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The capability to incubate wirelessly leads to the capacity to extend seamlessly. We understand that if you repurpose strategically then you may also repurpose vertically. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "intra-initiatives". We will multiply our capability to mesh without lessening our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. We will architect the ability of metrics to implement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to reintermediate. We think that most proactive portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to unleash intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our ability to generate. It seems incredible, but it's entirely accurate! We will enlarge our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-nano-ultra-mega-sexy. Think robust. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Instantly? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think visionary. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. We will enhance the term "user-centric". We will drive the power of partnerships to exploit. We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to benchmark super-efficiently. Think next-generation. Think back-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? The web services factor is collaborative. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to actualize ultra-super-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible" really mean? We will incubate the buzzword "turn-key". Think robust, proactive. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without research and development, you will lack TQM metrics. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your user-centric feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We realize that if you repurpose strategically then you may also upgrade ultra-dynamically. We believe we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also streamline intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of B2B e-business project management. Think cyber-C2B2B. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. If you expedite proactively, you may have to upgrade interactively. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? The TQC factor is transparent. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think C2C2B. The cross-media, reality-based obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We will seize the power of channels to synthesize. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize easily. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to extend intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Think six-sigma. Think viral. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-sexy. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media synergies and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.