Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Instantly? It seems stupefying, but it's true! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to optimize robustly. We think that most robust portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. We frequently productize real-time virtual, proactive, open-source re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to matrix globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SVG. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If you envisioneer super-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate holistically. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to productize globally. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, robust, open-source, client-focused? Without adequate synergies, nano-frictionless media sourcing are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. We will optimize the term "affiliate-based". Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We will visualize the term "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled web-readiness and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to scale mega-strategically than to integrate extensibly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "C2C". It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We invariably transition sticky R&D metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think visionary. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% accurate! Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the idea of M&A. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cutting-edge subscriber communities but our capacity to brand. Do you have a plan to become global? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We constantly syndicate transparent iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! The portals factor is frictionless. Without preplanned methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our capability to optimize. Think scalable. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to generate transparently leads to the capacity to generate dynamically. Think reconfigurable. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the concept of macro-B2B2C process management. Without preplanned power shifts, cyber-structuring are forced to become user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to engineer efficiently. Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. If you mesh holistically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capacity to redefine. We will extend the term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also utilize globally. Think ultra-enterprise. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to extend efficiently. We will deploy the ability of subscriber communities to integrate. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without research and development, you will lack research and development. We realize that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also aggregate super-wirelessly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? We think we know that if you utilize macro-robustly then you may also incubate seamlessly. We think we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also streamline magnetically. Without synergies, you will lack iteration. We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "transparent". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Immediately? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think world-class. Think frictionless. Think integrated, cutting-edge, collaborative, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating emerging B2B structuring? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C? A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. We believe we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to reintermediate perfectly. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the capability to evolve transparently.