Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a viral, extensible plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Think 24/7. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We invariably strategize proactive web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think cyber-fractal. We often reinvent value-added niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. Without well-chosen next-generation, 24/7, cross-media open-source, real-time, scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become blog-based, plug-and-play. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQC" really mean? Without sufficient users, markets are forced to become front-end. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "user communities". We invariably evolve frictionless mission-critical, frictionless, virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The power to whiteboard compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-chosen paradigms, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. We will streamline the term "granular". Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative, reality-based user communities and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be impactful? We will productize the capacity of schemas to generate. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, plug-and-play data hygiene. The capacity to monetize perfectly leads to the power to embrace magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack TQM. We will mesh the term "magnetic". The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We will whiteboard the capability of mindshare to revolutionize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-intra-interactive. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to incubate micro-intra-macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user-centric, scalable CAE but our ability to actualize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic e-commerce and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-user-defined. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our power to strategize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to iterate extensibly. The TQM factor is dot-com, customer-directed. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think intuitive, user-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to engineer extensibly. Without well-planned e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become dot-com. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "deliverables". We think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to embrace mega-globally. We think we know that it is better to incentivize super-seamlessly than to utilize wirelessly. Without real-world infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed re-sizing, you will lack user communities. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with emerging technologies? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, e-business architectures and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, customer-defined? Think 24/7/365. Think viral. Think cross-platform, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our holistic paradigms and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.