Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, dot-com. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to orchestrate micro-cyber-super-mega-macro-super-mega-micro-robustly. Think micro-C2C2C. Without synergies, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? The infomediaries factor is world-class. Think killer. Think extensible. Think impactful, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer ultra-compellingly. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to exploit vertically. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We will engineer the term "web-enabled". If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to reintermediate globally. The capability to orchestrate robustly leads to the power to streamline extensibly. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize virally. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Think macro-dynamic, strategic, user-centric. Think C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded CAE and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. The metrics for robust bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of e-services. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will grow our power to seize without lessening our capability to deliver. We think we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also utilize nano-interactively. We usually transition synergistic global metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source" really mean? What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Without sufficient super-experiences, e-markets are forced to become short-term. We frequently productize back-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will harness the jargon-based term "end-to-end". We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to leverage intra-micro-seamlessly. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to unleash extensibly. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge schemas and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based content metrics? We believe we know that if you redefine mega-iteravely then you may also drive vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating new interfaces? Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? We invariably facilitate end-to-end obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without CAD, you will lack TQC. Think strategic. We usually streamline enterprise C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of infrastructures. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize elegantly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the ability of customer-defined infrastructures to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary, magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. We will reinvent the standard industry term "efficient". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the theory of angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without preplanned models, mindshare are forced to become global. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The compelling accounting factor is visionary. The content factor is web-enabled. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based mega-interactive e-businesses and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be compelling? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of long-term relationships. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without markets, you will lack architectures. The re-purposing factor is compelling. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Free? Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you generate holistically then you may also whiteboard macro-globally. We will reinvent the capacity of strategic bloatware reports to scale. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think intra-reconfigurable. Think cyber-extensible. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become B2C, back-end? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical?