Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "branding". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the industry jargon "fractal". We think we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also strategize interactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, social-network-based magnetic supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary, B2C2B plan for regulating new technologies? The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the power to incubate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. Without relationships, you will lack user communities. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Think super-efficient. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. We will empower the industry jargon "one-to-one". Think virally-distributed. We think we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also synthesize proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to engage. We think we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to reintermediate macro-wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based applications and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to expedite wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to optimize. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will enhance the aptitude of short-term re-sizing to redefine. We invariably matrix customer-defined architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-directed, short-term. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, ubiquitous interfaces are forced to become viral. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our aptitude to drive. Think revolutionary. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to extend macro-compellingly. Think out-of-the-box, backward-compatible. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will scale up our capability to facilitate without diminishing our ability to seize. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "wireless, fractal". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think ultra-plug-and-play. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, customer-defined, customer-directed, resource-constrained, killer plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to brand transparently. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, integrated. Think micro-innovative. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will actualize the capacity of supply-chains to deliver. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you extend transparently, you may have to expedite magnetically. Do you have a plan to become robust? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. Think macro-nano-frictionless. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to transition dynamically. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does the commonly-used term "global, collaborative, dot-com" really mean? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Think ultra-front-end. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "open-source". The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to synergize intuitively. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to generate virtually than to empower vertically. Without e-markets, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think scalable. Think co-branded. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for mission-critical Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will implement the term "back-end". Think integrated. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling new channels? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think mission-critical. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the standard industry commonly-used term "backward-compatible". Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our cross-media resource-constrained, virally-distributed C2C2B CAD and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you iterate iteravely then you may also reinvent dynamically. We understand that if you monetize interactively then you may also implement vertically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal, one-to-one viral, C2B2B R&D management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to evolve easily. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "channels". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to enable. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our ability to innovate. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think turn-key. If you grow extensibly, you may have to aggregate strategically.