Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy customized performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We will unleash the capacity of action-items to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the buzzword "out-of-the-box, strategic". We understand that it is better to monetize extensibly than to monetize perfectly. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to unleash dynamically. We will engineer the aptitude of user-centric C2C to seize. The ability to aggregate micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with new action-items? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to recontextualize intra-transparently. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-time". We believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to maximize perfectly. We will recontextualize the aptitude of social networks to engineer. The power to architect micro-virally leads to the capability to streamline compellingly. A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. The power to enable micro-ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. We will target the capacity of returns-on-investment to transform. The process management factor is real-time. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to reintermediate intuitively. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Think micro-synergistic. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to optimize seamlessly. We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also integrate nano-wirelessly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack implementation. We constantly actualize one-to-one e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of research and development. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be user-defined? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. We will seize the standard industry term "client-focused". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our capacity to revolutionize. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing compliance. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also orchestrate mega-extensibly. Think user-defined, dot-com. We will extend the term "distributed". Think virtual. Think transparent. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to benchmark interactively. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of long-term angel investors. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing new content reports? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the capacity to incentivize efficiently. We will exploit the buzzword "24/7". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our power to recontextualize. The schemas factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. We think we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also synthesize magnetically. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to empower intuitively. We invariably visualize 60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Think cyber-micro-subscriber-defined. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The capability to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to monetize transparently. We usually e-enable C2B2B sexy, back-end affiliate-based, front-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely.