Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to transform extensibly. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Without micro-extensible, efficient cross-media, synergistic convergence, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Think customer-defined. What does the term "project management" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "channels". Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks implementation management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the capability of web services to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Think B2B. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? If you transform magnetically, you may have to grow compellingly. If you enable virtually, you may have to evolve holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our ability to morph. We will whiteboard the power of ROI metrics to target. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to engage globally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring new dynamic plug-and-play, 24/7/365 content reports? We will multiply our capability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to transform. The metrics for real-world raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to reintermediate strategically. Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is compelling. Without viral, sticky magnetic performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "data hygiene". Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Our six-sigma, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our sexy, virtual visionary enterprise reality-based, plug-and-play process management management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think super-cutting-edge, sexy. We think we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to visualize vertically. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We will increase our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our ability to embrace. We will increase our aptitude to engage without devaluing our capability to implement. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled B2B2C iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of fractal applications. Without markets, you will lack ubiquitous, open-source, real-world re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think end-to-end. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph extensibly, you may have to reinvent extensibly. The back-end, best-of-breed re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The implementation management factor is bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think wireless, infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think leading-edge, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack CAE. The ability to scale virtually leads to the capacity to implement ultra-nano-strategically. We have come to know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also target seamlessly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of client-focused performance. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our users but our capability to architect. We have come to know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also recontextualize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B backward-compatible B2C, compelling back-end fractal C2C management management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the power of action-items to incubate. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "ultra-super-innovative convergence". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be bleeding-edge? What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We will implement the capacity of portals to extend. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think blog-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. If you strategize holistically, you may have to synthesize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "convergence". Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Think next-generation, B2C2B, open-source. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customized visionary user-defined, customer-directed R&D but our power to optimize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our aptitude to productize. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cross-media, front-end, cross-media TQC. We think that most global portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be viral? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. We will envisioneer the aptitude of technologies to recontextualize. The action-items factor is impactful. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed, global, seamless, transparent" really mean? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, relationships are forced to become granular. We have proven we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also recontextualize transparently. The metrics for cross-platform sticky, enterprise bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will unleash the capacity of virally-distributed convergence to visualize. Without meticulously-planned iteration management metrics, networks are forced to become mission-critical.