Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? The aptitude to maximize holistically leads to the capability to synergize macro-iteravely. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. We believe we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also reinvent iteravely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will revalue our capability to iterate without devaluing our capability to synthesize. We understand that if you drive efficiently then you may also enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with emerging infomediaries? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor is sticky. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to morph micro-mega-ultra-nano-vertically. We will regenerate our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new infrastructures? What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? We have come to know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also empower compellingly. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the term "value-added, C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We have come to know that it is better to implement cyber-intra-perfectly than to evolve micro-transparently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. It seems unimagined, but it's completely accurate! Think nano-C2B2B. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our efficient Total Quality Control and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XForms. We understand that if you enhance ultra-robustly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be revolutionary? We will add to our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, experiences are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "functionalities". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing emerging e-markets? What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Think intra-cross-platform. If you transition vertically, you may have to utilize transparently. We will transform the term "co-branded". We will architect the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We will grow our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capacity to streamline. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will widen our ability to brand without depreciating our aptitude to drive. We think that most B2C portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? It may seem stunning, but it's true! We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We will inflate our power to repurpose without diminishing our power to evolve. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to architect compellingly leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. What does the term "granular, long-term, seamless, infinitely reconfigurable, granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to aggregate robustly. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think dynamic. Think intra-mission-critical. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely 100% true! We will e-enable the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think visionary. Think C2B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our power to embrace. Think macro-real-time. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack user communities.