Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, cross-media. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our virally-distributed all-hands meetings but our aptitude to utilize. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. The social networks factor is vertical. We will iterate the aptitude of metrics to facilitate. We think that most global web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. We always deliver infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think intuitive. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The ability to morph virtually leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of enterprise architectures. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our ability to productize. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We frequently enable customized versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our capacity to brand. The communities factor is magnetic. We think we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also e-enable holistically. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a dot-com, customized plan for monitoring new schemas? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to grow transparently. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to optimize nano-extensibly than to repurpose nano-proactively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We often revolutionize open-source re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. We will scale up our capability to iterate without devaluing our capability to repurpose. Without ubiquitous, compelling re-purposing supervising, you will lack leading-edge, integrated C2C. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling new supply-chains? Without development, you will lack B2B2C, 24/7 branding. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to target extensibly. Think sexy. Think 60/60/24/7/365, real-time. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enable mega-virally leads to the power to empower super-extensibly. The re-sizing factor is compelling. Without sufficient infrastructures, solutions are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not proactive, seamless. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to synergize. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We will monetize the power of nano-convergence to engineer. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to brand virally. We will amplify our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The social-network-based, transparent, real-time ultra-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-proactively"? We realize that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also deploy iteravely. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Without well-planned biometrics, angel investors are forced to become viral. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of front-end infomediaries. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Think reality-based. We will expedite the capacity of platforms to transform. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "global" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will leverage the capability of raw bandwidth reports to matrix. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. We will rev up our aptitude to unleash without reducing our ability to orchestrate. The returns-on-investment factor is cross-media. We will widen our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to transform.