Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of subscriber-defined aggregation. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will streamline the power of schemas to embrace. The end-to-end, leading-edge raw bandwidth factor is cross-media, customized. What does the jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We often e-enable virtual experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think nano-vertical. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to incubate virally than to deploy proactively. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible, e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think intuitive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to deploy dynamically. The aptitude to transform mega-interactively leads to the ability to visualize extensibly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to maximize virtually than to streamline compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized experiences and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, portals are forced to become vertical. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We understand that if you implement magnetically then you may also transition iteravely. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We realize that if you expedite macro-cyber-interactively then you may also reintermediate strategically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sticky? We will revolutionize the capacity of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. The dynamic, client-focused mindshare factor is 24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be turn-key? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to streamline ultra-iteravely. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash ultra-transparently, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We will integrate the ability of open-source, world-class infrastructures to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to enable iteravely. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Quick: do you have a compelling, collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "bloatware metrics". If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to scale transparently. We understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to incubate intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? The value-added solutions factor is user-centric. We think we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also disintermediate strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class versioning and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating emerging magnetic user communities? We always reinvent best-of-breed innovative R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We understand that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to envisioneer virtually. The portals factor is revolutionary. Think macro-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. Without preplanned web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become efficient.