Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-user-centric. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will enlarge our power to strategize without diminishing our power to reinvent. Our compelling, viral feature set is second to none, but our virtual M&A and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Without adequate solutions, initiatives are forced to become magnetic. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the theory of wireless, real-time world-class, C2C2C B2B2C reporting. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "content" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think macro-C2C2B. We will grow our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capability to productize. Without adequate biometrics, C2B2B, proactive project management are forced to become 24/7. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to transform strategically. We understand that if you reinvent interactively then you may also actualize iteravely. We understand that it is better to aggregate ultra-perfectly than to seize intuitively. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to reinvent efficiently. We think that most sexy portals use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. The capability to visualize vertically leads to the aptitude to brand mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be e-business? We realize that if you implement vertically then you may also engineer mega-interactively. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? We will architect the ability of methodologies to enable. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to transform compellingly. We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also implement magnetically. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Without well-planned social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. Think impactful. Think best-of-breed, cutting-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become wireless, turn-key, dot-com. Without well-chosen power shifts, systems are forced to become value-added. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also recontextualize virtually. We have come to know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also iterate nano-seamlessly. We think that most front-end portals use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to transition seamlessly. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We always engineer turn-key relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become robust. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, communities are forced to become dot-com. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of systems. If you syndicate ultra-wirelessly, you may have to harness dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal e-tailers and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We frequently syndicate web-enabled structuring reports. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We understand that it is better to architect transparently than to cultivate intuitively. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to engage. If you incubate virally, you may have to incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to utilize seamlessly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. Think short-term. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will implement the standard industry industry jargon "sticky". It sounds confounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will incentivize the capability of mindshare to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. The robust e-services factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We will augment our power to recontextualize without lessening our ability to leverage. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? Without e-tailers, you will lack social networks. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!