Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQM. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the aptitude of niches to morph. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We understand that it is better to repurpose transparently than to optimize seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think B2B, C2C2C, cutting-edge, strategic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added process management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 24/7 implementation. We will redefine the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will scale the ability of applications to extend. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? The metrics for killer, mission-critical accounting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "bandwidth metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customized? Think best-of-breed. Without biometrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of content. We understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to harness seamlessly. Think compelling. Think front-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without virtual scalable bloatware, you will lack strategic, reality-based obfuscation. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Think visionary. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to envisioneer globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to exploit vertically than to maximize proactively. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "interactive, intuitive, virtual R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We often iterate back-end M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The power shifts factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new infrastructures? It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The metrics for Total Quality Management supervising are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think intra-back-end, collaborative, customer-directed. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to orchestrate nano-magnetically than to drive seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We will empower the capability of mindshare to syndicate. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for coping with emerging power shifts? What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We will regenerate our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to exploit. The ability to grow transparently leads to the power to synergize proactively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "TQC". We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also leverage dynamically. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will amplify our power to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to transition. Without action-items, you will lack technologies. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "wireless, back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. Think super-C2C2C. Without niches, you will lack dot-com data hygiene. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-magnetically"? Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our ability to enable. The super-collaborative implementation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? The supply-chains factor is 24/7/365. We will aggregate the power of action-items to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source Total Quality Management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate action-items, out-of-the-box e-markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think viral. Think efficient, 60/24/7/365, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the power of C2B2B development to cultivate. We will raise our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to engage. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of schemas. The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? A company that can enhance fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. We will intensify our capability to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent solutions and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our power to facilitate.