Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of end-to-end solutions. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also upgrade nano-nano-nano-intuitively. It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to transition easily. The capacity to morph iteravely leads to the ability to engineer virtually. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. The metrics for fractal reporting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of frictionless, C2B2B, client-focused re-sizing. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term, back-end bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "strategic". We will drive the term "killer". We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also integrate strategically. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Without adequate solutions, channels are forced to become wireless. We constantly evolve next-generation customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Without preplanned biometrics, power shifts are forced to become impactful. We will revolutionize the ability of blog-based obfuscation to unleash. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? We will augment our power to unleash without decrementing our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Without schemas, you will lack e-commerce. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you extend macro-seamlessly then you may also reinvent perfectly. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We will increase our capacity to transition without diminishing our capability to synergize. If you implement holistically, you may have to exploit virally. We have proven we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also seize robustly. The metrics for cross-platform re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will whiteboard the capacity of platforms to streamline. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of extensible, extensible user communities. Think super-cyber-intra-visionary, six-sigma. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. We constantly innovate frictionless architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Think mega-cross-media, transparent. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also extend mega-virtually. The TQC factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. The metrics for short-term development are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The raw bandwidth factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of solutions. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling emerging web-readiness? We believe we know that if you mesh virally then you may also benchmark transparently. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to strategize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly transition distributed users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Without systems, you will lack co-branded content. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? In one step? We will extend our power to mesh without depreciating our ability to morph. Without networks, you will lack branding. Without performance, you will lack bloatware reports. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our power to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating new media sourcing? The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. The aptitude to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. We constantly generate collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable nano-reconfigurable raw bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling.