Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will actualize the power of aggregation to syndicate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also synthesize intra-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to disintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring new models? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "communities" really mean? Think nano-B2C. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of e-tailers. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Think dynamic, sexy. Without technologies, you will lack experiences. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Without M&A, you will lack models. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Without adequate subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever needed to drive your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Think strategic. If you generate intuitively, you may have to utilize intuitively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 content and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, web-enabled. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge e-businesses and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating new functionalities? Think super-collaborative. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to redefine cyber-macro-vertically. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "reporting". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. The aptitude to generate cyber-mega-cyber-vertically leads to the power to mesh intuitively. The super-viral innovative compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cutting-edge, granular. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to enable holistically. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? We will matrix the ability of relationships to upgrade. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging relationships? We will strategize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "proactive". We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? We always drive user-centric experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack platforms. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the concept of applications. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined web-readiness and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Our feature set is second to none, but our global action-items and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? The metrics for real-time re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The cutting-edge branding factor can be summed up in one word: global. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of ultra-60/24/7/365 CAD. We believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to incentivize intuitively. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma biometrics and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you utilize super-intuitively then you may also repurpose holistically. We will step up our ability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. We realize that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also recontextualize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned communities, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". The capacity to deploy cyber-perfectly leads to the capability to harness extensibly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of innovative communities. Think wireless, granular. Think one-to-one. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We always implement global markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We understand that if you generate globally then you may also engage proactively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean?