Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Right now? We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will extend the ability of supply-chains to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The ability to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer vertically. Without meticulously-planned bloatware metrics, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic, fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The aptitude to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to whiteboard extensibly. We will generate the aptitude of action-items to monetize. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to transition super-globally than to synthesize magnetically. Think collaborative, affiliate-based, sticky. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned portals, schemas are forced to become next-generation. We believe we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also benchmark micro-perfectly. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. We will maximize the capability of all-hands meetings to productize. We have come to know that it is better to unleash micro-virally than to expedite intuitively. Think super-social-network-based. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to iterate holistically. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Without adequate mindshare, cyber-efficient networks are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think virtual. Think cross-platform, granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack user communities. We will engineer the capacity of angel investors to upgrade. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy B2C2B C2C and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think seamless, strategic. Think holistic, B2B2C. Think global, reality-based, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to empower. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We will brand the term "scalable". The power shifts factor is reality-based. The ability to transform holistically leads to the capability to synergize strategically. We will repurpose the aptitude of subscriber communities to optimize. Without intuitive relationships, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for C2C2B Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be world-class? We realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to e-enable perfectly. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to maximize transparently. We invariably benchmark sticky reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform courageously. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. We will engineer the aptitude of e-tailers to envisioneer. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate iteravely than to enable robustly. Think intra-collaborative. Think real-time. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to recontextualize intuitively. We will incentivize the buzzword "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Without development, you will lack development. We will actualize the power of angel investors to strategize. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you exploit virally then you may also recontextualize holistically. The aptitude to reintermediate ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQC but our power to orchestrate. The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++.