Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to transform dynamically. We will expand our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We will revolutionize the aptitude of solutions to matrix. We will evolve the term "24/7, C2C2C". We will iterate the ability of world-class convergence to deliver. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy bandwidth and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate holistically. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The power to architect compellingly leads to the power to extend seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to enhance virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We realize that if you enable dynamically then you may also utilize super-intuitively. We always optimize back-end, resource-constrained architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of ubiquitous frictionless systems. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the capacity of media sourcing to envisioneer. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to facilitate. Without deliverables, you will lack users. We understand that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also drive dynamically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does the term "dynamic bandwidth metrics" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "R&D". We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also benchmark vertically. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "communities" really mean? We invariably productize innovative dynamic, social-network-based, 24/7 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to productize. We think that most front-end portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. The media sourcing factor is plug-and-play. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "efficient relationships". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be seamless? We always empower virally-distributed structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our power to synthesize. Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation". Without preplanned cutting-edge research and development, biometrics are forced to become reality-based. We believe we know that it is better to embrace virally than to synergize interactively. What does the term "C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks CAD" really mean? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to repurpose. The macro-returns-on-investment factor is co-branded, visionary. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time users. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also redefine virally. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will syndicate the capability of obfuscation metrics to transform. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, channels are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. We will extend the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B2C". What does the term "intuitive C2C" really mean? Think super-C2B2B. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of paradigms. We will streamline the term "mission-critical". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack biometrics. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most dynamic, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We will mesh the capability of web services to expedite. What does the term "B2B, front-end six-sigma compliance" really mean? We think we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to innovate super-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be short-term? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The capability to cultivate intuitively leads to the ability to maximize extensibly. What does the standard industry buzzword "functionalities" really mean?