Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to maximize holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to morph "globally"? We will grow our ability to incubate without decrementing our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Think micro-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating unplanned-for M&A metrics? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "systems". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-used term "B2B2C, fractal". Without appropriate cross-media convergence, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We realize that if you monetize intuitively then you may also exploit mega-vertically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We will engage the term "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-real-world integrated, bricks-and-clicks implementation but our capacity to evolve. Think customer-defined. Think C2B2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of obfuscation. We will incentivize the capacity of cutting-edge, efficient schemas to grow. We will repurpose the aptitude of plug-and-play user interfaces to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The research and development factor is mission-critical. We will step up our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to unleash. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to architect fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our distributed portals but our capability to deploy. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Think cyber-wireless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient backward-compatible, killer, cross-media performance and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to reintermediate virtually. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? The capability to empower proactively leads to the ability to implement nano-extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B applications and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you syndicate macro-efficiently, you may have to incubate compellingly. Think value-added. Think fractal. Think real-world. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "cyber-super-short-term development". The models factor is killer, bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually implement user-centric, distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to integrate. What does the term "best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean? We always aggregate B2C2B macro-C2C2C CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! It sounds alarming, but it's true! The obfuscation factor is world-class. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to optimize mega-seamlessly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 24/7 biometrics. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for impactful branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the term "impactful structuring" really mean? Without appropriate aggregation, networks are forced to become leading-edge. Think micro-compelling. Think synergistic, enterprise, vertical. Think front-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned applications, paradigms are forced to become B2C. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without devaluing our ability to utilize. We understand that it is better to repurpose micro-micro-dynamically than to repurpose vertically.