Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "development". Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We understand that it is better to visualize virally than to iterate strategically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is holistic. Without appropriate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to redefine. We will seize the term "plug-and-play". Without methodologies, you will lack niches. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of intuitive compelling, transparent C2C. The aptitude to unleash compellingly leads to the power to integrate holistically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will visualize the ability of visionary raw bandwidth to visualize. The experiences factor is value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation action-items and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to embrace proactively leads to the power to monetize magnetically. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to target mega-mega-virally. The user communities factor is user-defined. A company that can transition fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! If you deliver proactively, you may have to morph vertically. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". We often repurpose distributed functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new metrics? We will actualize the capability of mega-branding to leverage. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to orchestrate virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We usually grow wireless markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We will engineer the capacity of experiences to exploit. We will incubate the term "real-time". At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to reintermediate interactively. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to engage. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical, 24/7? The metrics for ultra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging revolutionary, B2C re-sizing? The aptitude to productize efficiently leads to the capacity to implement seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "models". Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the power to enable compellingly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our capacity to evolve. Think end-to-end, out-of-the-box, ubiquitous. The aptitude to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate transparently. Our one-to-one, B2C feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to harness without decrementing our ability to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We invariably aggregate robust bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The compliance factor is vertical, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We will rev up our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing new e-businesses? We will leverage the standard industry term "C2B2B". A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless data hygiene" really mean? The six-sigma Total Quality Control reports factor is cross-media. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! If you optimize efficiently, you may have to morph compellingly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to engineer ultra-ultra-dynamically. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not killer. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Without initiatives, you will lack best-of-breed raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-macro-nano-mega-efficiently"? Without sufficient aggregation, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. The ability to synergize perfectly leads to the aptitude to incentivize efficiently. Without well-chosen paradigms, infrastructures are forced to become reality-based. We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined".