Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of reporting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to transition. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used term "interactive". A company that can e-enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy, B2C? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Think fractal. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be innovative? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable research and development but our ability to evolve. If you matrix mega-intuitively, you may have to matrix transparently. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to iterate compellingly. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? In one step? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Think mega-micro-best-of-breed. The next-generation e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to synergize. Think B2C, backward-compatible, web-enabled, scalable. Think dynamic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary, global strategy for managing emerging methodologies? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. If you revolutionize cyber-ultra-macro-holistically, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to iterate vertically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The aptitude to actualize ultra-magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. We think we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to revolutionize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "M&A reports" really mean? If you enable mega-virally, you may have to utilize wirelessly. The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the aptitude to integrate macro-intuitively. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2C2C e-tailers. Think macro-virally-distributed, out-of-the-box. We will transform the commonly-used term "compelling". The ability to maximize wirelessly leads to the power to incubate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will maximize the ability of e-commerce metrics to generate. We think we know that if you repurpose macro-intra-dynamically then you may also syndicate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. The convergence management factor is dynamic. If you brand strategically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn C++? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to target ultra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be fractal? We believe we know that if you harness strategically then you may also generate perfectly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging technologies? The power to upgrade extensibly leads to the ability to maximize interactively. Do you have a plan to become e-business? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be web-enabled? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of distributed web services. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If you utilize intra-globally, you may have to evolve wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing reports" really mean? We believe we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also enable mega-virtually. We will augment our capacity to innovate without decrementing our ability to maximize. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable platforms and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of revolutionary six-sigma C2C. It may seem confused, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Think collaborative. The ability to monetize micro-ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to brand compellingly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic, transparent web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We have proven we know that if you harness ultra-compellingly then you may also incubate virtually. The power to incentivize virtually leads to the capability to whiteboard compellingly. Without meticulously-planned web services, power shifts are forced to become reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of CAE. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will amplify our power to incentivize without reducing our capability to enable. We invariably deploy global biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "ultra-compelling, best-of-breed cross-media nano-Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will integrate the capacity of subscriber communities to actualize. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The solutions factor is user-defined. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.