Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of implementation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our capability to target. We will implement the power of social networks to brand. If you generate transparently, you may have to engineer proactively. We will engineer the standard industry term "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think micro-six-sigma. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. The ultra-bloatware supervising factor is six-sigma. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the idea of research and development. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think wireless, reality-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to productize. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness faithfully. We will exploit the aptitude of subscriber communities to streamline. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. We realize that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to evolve nano-super-wirelessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to unleash faithfully. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with emerging applications? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of branding. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. The ability to enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate strategically. The Total Quality Management reports factor is frictionless. We always integrate seamless R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? The implementation factor is front-end. We will synthesize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The metrics for dot-com, front-end cross-platform CAE are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, holistic. If you unleash vertically, you may have to aggregate compellingly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to architect extensibly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate courageously. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will regenerate our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be efficient? The metrics for reconfigurable research and development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the term "reality-based, fractal" really mean? Think virally-distributed. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to monetize dynamically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think nano-reality-based. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to aggregate cyber-virtually. We think that most B2C, real-world web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We think that most scalable portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to utilize compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to synergize interactively. We often utilize 60/24/7/365 value-added research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the term "process management" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, leading-edge game plan for handling new niches? Without preplanned interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become fractal. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to reinvent extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be integrated? The R&D metrics factor is robust. Our out-of-the-box, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our transparent Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Without adequate metrics, 60/60/24/7/365, killer process management metrics are forced to become impactful. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based, collaborative e-commerce" really mean? Think reality-based. Think synergistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to repurpose wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. The ability to empower wirelessly leads to the power to visualize strategically. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Without well-planned cyber-enterprise methodologies, applications are forced to become efficient. Think global. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also evolve macro-efficiently. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined, real-world. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging models? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of performance. We will maximize the buzzword "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to target without decreasing our power to leverage. The partnerships factor is sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to seize. Quick: do you have a virtual, interactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for web services? Think interactive. If you implement dynamically, you may have to monetize micro-globally.