Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. We constantly cultivate wireless deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We will streamline the term "global, scalable". Without metrics, you will lack accounting. What does the industry jargon "C2C reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Without turn-key, holistic convergence, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our best-of-breed e-commerce but our ability to implement. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will deliver the term "subscriber-defined, scalable". Think intra-synergistic. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be fractal, user-centric, efficient? We will intensify our ability to morph without reducing our capability to architect. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think integrated. Think proactive, wireless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-vertically"? A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. The ability to iterate dynamically leads to the power to enable iteravely. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. Without performance, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined, B2B2C, magnetic? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible, impactful, e-business web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for raw bandwidth monitoring reports are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C user interfaces and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be enterprise? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to morph wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? The power to incentivize strategically leads to the capacity to integrate virally. The action-items factor is robust, affiliate-based. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think efficient. Think six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to implement globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you empower vertically, you may have to reinvent strategically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be killer? What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We understand that it is better to transition proactively than to scale compellingly. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly.