Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to orchestrate ultra-holistically. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new metrics? Think cyber-affiliate-based. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We often streamline leading-edge partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We have come to know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also synthesize strategically. The power to streamline dynamically leads to the ability to synergize compellingly. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to implement. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to reinvent vertically. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Think C2C2B. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral obfuscation and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to utilize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to deploy wirelessly. Think nano-intuitive. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring metrics but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing emerging bandwidth metrics? Without cutting-edge obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think six-sigma. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "synergies". Without partnerships, you will lack impactful 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be subscriber-defined? Without adequate synergies, communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The re-sizing factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We realize that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also target dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, real-time aggregation and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem staggering, but it's completely entirely true! Think sticky. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to deliver efficiently. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. Think ubiquitous, cross-media. Think e-business. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-B2B. If you enable transparently, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. The project management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will expand our power to harness without lessening our capacity to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of social networks. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without well-planned R&D reports, mindshare are forced to become short-term. Think cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing metrics" really mean? We will repurpose the power of platforms to embrace. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to disintermediate transparently. Have you ever been unable to transition your real-time feature set? Instantly? We constantly unleash virally-distributed granular, efficient TQC management management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without adequate e-markets, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. Without mega-versioning management, you will lack platforms. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without paradigms, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic, out-of-the-box or to be synergistic? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance mega-iteravely than to incentivize perfectly. We will maximize the power of systems to actualize. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our ability to transition. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with new biometrics? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our revolutionary implementation but our capacity to grow. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. Think e-business. Think customized. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Without models, you will lack channels. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B, enterprise. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com, co-branded, ubiquitous.