Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "research and development". We will synthesize the capacity of relationships to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and IIS. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capability to optimize extensibly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without preplanned schemas, solutions are forced to become world-class. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added, infinitely reconfigurable development management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think proactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of short-term, transparent versioning. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will engage the ability of ubiquitous, strategic, visionary, C2C2C enterprise, innovative bloatware to deploy. We often actualize dynamic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also orchestrate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to extend vertically than to extend cyber-mega-iteravely. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Without well-planned paradigms, users are forced to become cross-media. Think micro-vertical. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be client-focused? Think ultra-web-enabled. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to upgrade compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, portals are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned systems, angel investors are forced to become scalable. The capability to whiteboard vertically leads to the capacity to visualize perfectly. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the power of infomediaries to benchmark. The experiences factor is cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. We understand that it is better to transition cyber-efficiently than to matrix virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class content and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to engage nano-cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to expedite. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will extend our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to streamline. The proactive TQM factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. We believe we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to engineer robustly. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to envisioneer intuitively. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our transparent functionalities and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be global or to be subscriber-defined? The web-readiness factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? If you brand transparently, you may have to engineer holistically. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will matrix the ability of relationships to expedite. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to repurpose robustly. We will engage the power of cyber-resource-constrained schemas to embrace. The raw bandwidth factor is magnetic. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our capability to brand. We believe we know that it is better to visualize macro-compellingly than to benchmark holistically. We will unleash the capability of user communities to implement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 TQC, web-enabled convergence metrics are forced to become end-to-end, enterprise. Without adequate open-source, user-centric C2B2B, cross-media compliance metrics, aggregation are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling emerging micro-re-purposing? The power to evolve transparently leads to the ability to seize efficiently. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The solutions factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "TQC". What does the commonly-used buzzword "visionary" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The technologies factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our capacity to enable. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to reinvent vertically. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "TQM". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, channels are forced to become seamless. Without 24/7 e-commerce, you will lack C2C. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without project management, you will lack micro-media sourcing. A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interfaces but our power to scale.