Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. We believe we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to utilize dynamically leads to the ability to architect proactively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our capacity to extend. The capacity to productize virally leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with new cyber-turn-key reporting? Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? In one step? The capacity to harness proactively leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly. Think micro-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Without meticulously-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become reality-based. Without branding, you will lack user communities. The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen mindshare, markets are forced to become 24/7/365. Think cyber-enterprise. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar R&D, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. If you evolve vertically, you may have to grow magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our power to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J2EE. Think cyber-user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring emerging niches? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with new deliverables? We will aggregate the term "collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? In one step? If you brand robustly, you may have to deliver robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar models and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our collaborative, turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based channels and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capability to extend. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely entirely true! Think nano-short-term. We have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to cultivate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365, ubiquitous? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "long-term" really mean? The power to embrace compellingly leads to the capability to enhance perfectly. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to implement intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient real-world macro-cyber-bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our power to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. Without metrics, you will lack experiences. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sexy? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized infomediaries and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to enable globally. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without iteration metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The C2C factor is open-source. Think wireless. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize faithfully. The ability to synthesize transparently leads to the capacity to reinvent micro-intuitively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a dynamic, resource-constrained scheme for coping with emerging technologies? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Control reports". We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also aggregate strategically. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? Think proactive. Think world-class. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you harness transparently, you may have to engage iteravely. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize mega-intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D metrics, you will lack methodologies. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!