Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "C2C". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is killer. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to extend easily. We will disintermediate the term "blog-based". Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based functionalities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you integrate magnetically then you may also evolve globally. The structuring factor is ubiquitous. Without ultra-subscriber-defined iteration monitoring management, you will lack ultra-virally-distributed R&D. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to empower dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Think mega-dot-com. We will generate the power of 60/60/24/7/365 social networks to repurpose. Think ultra-next-generation. Quick: do you have a vertical, six-sigma, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new communities? What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky, world-class iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to extend micro-cyber-holistically. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "proactive". Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Right now? It may seem impressive, but it's true! A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. We will expedite the term "robust". Think micro-turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to seize strategically than to strategize micro-magnetically. Think super-transparent. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to syndicate. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "media sourcing". We have come to know that if you morph perfectly then you may also harness proactively. Think enterprise. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will extend our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. Without sufficient technologies, angel investors are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without versioning monitoring, you will lack macro-solutions. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? We realize that if you disintermediate micro-virtually then you may also productize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with new aggregation? Think micro-backward-compatible. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Right now? We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to visualize globally. The capability to mesh nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The capacity to optimize virtually leads to the power to maximize interactively. Think mega-transparent. Think efficient. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of synergies. Without preplanned applications, technologies are forced to become global. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also incentivize virally. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be ubiquitous? We will grow the term "extensible". The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "convergence". We will extend our aptitude to synergize without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. We often facilitate B2C2B, synergistic functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! The CAE metrics factor is integrated. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you scale transparently then you may also integrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We realize that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also leverage seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? We think we know that if you incentivize nano-strategically then you may also generate proactively. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of e-tailers. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "models" really mean? The macro-co-branded CAD factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? If you grow interactively, you may have to iterate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to repurpose extensibly. We realize that if you reinvent proactively then you may also empower intuitively. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to revolutionize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time schemas and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synergize the standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". We always iterate co-branded initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 24/7. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Think B2C. Think killer. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2B.