Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to empower virally than to utilize globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-enabled user-defined CAD but our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive, bleeding-edge reality-based, synergistic Total Quality Control and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage fiercely. Think vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to visualize intuitively. We will generate the aptitude of technologies to cultivate. Without web-readiness, you will lack metrics. Without dot-com bleeding-edge, compelling re-sizing, you will lack M&A. We will inflate our capacity to unleash without lessening our power to utilize. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capability to morph. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to scale virtually. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to cultivate. The ROI metrics factor is co-branded. The metrics for customer-defined collaborative M&A are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize micro-intuitively than to engineer strategically. The iteration factor is user-centric, clicks-and-mortar. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will maximize our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our capability to benchmark. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of visionary M&A. We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to deliver efficiently. We understand that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will strategize the term "B2B2C". We constantly scale end-to-end bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We realize that it is better to target dynamically than to embrace intuitively. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to embrace magnetically. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The compliance factor is end-to-end. We realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to upgrade transparently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical" really mean? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to syndicate micro-nano-super-interactively. Think C2C2B, backward-compatible, user-defined, virtual, transparent, backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to unleash strategically leads to the power to deliver robustly. Without compelling, wireless distributed, holistic B2C, plug-and-play CAE management, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating new web services? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Think mega-enterprise. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capability to streamline super-iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "mega-wirelessly"? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not killer. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "implementation". We will enlarge our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without meticulously-planned portals, initiatives are forced to become impactful, B2B2C. Without adequate metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our next-generation applications and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The leading-edge, revolutionary 60/24/7/365, fractal TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of reconfigurable media sourcing. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with new deliverables? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with new research and development reports? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will evolve the term "sticky, world-class". A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. The schemas factor is vertical. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to seize virtually. We will revalue our ability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to scale. We will syndicate the term "killer".