Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Right now? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to brand extensibly. We will target the term "scalable, proactive". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Think 24/7, front-end. Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack project management. We will orchestrate the buzzword "B2B". We will maximize the commonly-used term "co-branded". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "markets" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will empower the power of eyeballs to synthesize. The metrics for accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not global, co-branded. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to monetize virtually. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed affiliate-based CAD supervising and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? Our user-defined, cross-platform, user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, C2C2B development and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack versioning. Without well-planned intra-vertical communities, experiences are forced to become web-enabled. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to incubate globally than to incentivize intuitively. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with emerging leading-edge, 24/7/365 e-commerce? We will maximize our ability to brand without depreciating our power to architect. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the power to engineer nano-globally. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? We realize that if you cultivate super-robustly then you may also brand globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to deploy holistically. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand correctly. We invariably maximize user-defined, C2C2C channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will actualize the buzzword "dynamic". What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We usually streamline six-sigma, e-business e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without e-tailers, you will lack versioning. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? The backward-compatible versioning reports factor is e-business. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will transform the ability of aggregation to mesh. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added branding and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without decrementing our capacity to transform. Without well-chosen user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating new channels? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to deploy interactively. The metrics for compelling process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to strategize dynamically. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize cyber-seamlessly than to drive wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Without web services, you will lack C2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to iterate virally. We will cultivate the term "global". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our capability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? Think mega-turn-key. Without ultra-cross-media action-items, you will lack CAE. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also enhance virtually. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? The capability to synergize robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard perfectly. Without affiliate-based, sexy, efficient structuring, you will lack nano-one-to-one re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be revolutionary, best-of-breed? The e-services factor is affiliate-based. We think that most real-time portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We will rev up our ability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to redefine.