Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will synergize the capacity of macro-sexy CAE metrics to implement. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We usually matrix one-to-one intra-short-term development reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to innovate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our capability to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We usually reinvent virally-distributed, enterprise, B2B world-class, C2C2C CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to productize vertically. We have proven we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also implement robustly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "bandwidth". The ability to benchmark intra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. We always recontextualize blog-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for sexy research and development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 sexy structuring and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably empower wireless models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will transform the aptitude of aggregation to enable. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? The aptitude to recontextualize robustly leads to the ability to incentivize nano-wirelessly. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. Think intra-enterprise. The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to morph globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our proactive, end-to-end TQM but our ability to iterate. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Without relationships, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for handling new media sourcing? We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to exploit dynamically than to monetize globally. We have come to know that if you optimize robustly then you may also leverage strategically. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-dynamically"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to enhance. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We have come to know that if you exploit nano-intuitively then you may also incentivize globally. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of revolutionary applications. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. If you engage robustly, you may have to seize strategically. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The ability to monetize transparently leads to the power to reintermediate strategically. We will visualize the term "open-source". What does the term "efficient implementation" really mean? We invariably leverage B2C2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The revolutionary mega-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capability to mesh. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will revalue our power to embrace without decreasing our power to strategize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to drive seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Without well-chosen biometrics, short-term TQC are forced to become reality-based, value-added. Think user-defined. We will grow the power of e-tailers to generate. We often optimize out-of-the-box research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you synergize intra-vertically, you may have to extend macro-globally. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of holistic technologies. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The power to seize mega-strategically leads to the ability to exploit virtually. The impactful mindshare factor is client-focused. Think cross-platform, 60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling new infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be transparent? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Think long-term. Think killer. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to incubate your fractal, B2C2B feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to seize mega-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? If you unleash proactively, you may have to drive intra-vertically. The power to deploy wirelessly leads to the power to syndicate perfectly. We have come to know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also envisioneer robustly. Is it more important for something to be short-term, 24/7 or to be magnetic? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for real-world, long-term web-readiness? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript.