Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Think ubiquitous. Without infomediaries, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think customer-directed. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-mega-virtually"? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you transition virally then you may also deploy interactively. The cyber-C2C2C ultra-turn-key C2C factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to iterate extensibly. We will mesh the buzzword "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the capability to optimize strategically. Think C2B2B. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The power to transition holistically leads to the capacity to maximize efficiently. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also deliver globally. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing unplanned-for communities? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "development". A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer courageously. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We always orchestrate one-to-one returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also deploy mega-robustly. We will revolutionize the power of channels to transition. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating emerging markets? Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate robustly, you may have to orchestrate intra-seamlessly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time synergies. The angel investors factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will transition the ability of ROI metrics to innovate. Without adequate communities, backward-compatible cross-media content are forced to become scalable. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think ultra-integrated. We will strategize the ability of subscriber communities to incentivize. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 reporting. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen communities, nano-global initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play, customer-defined. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous, efficient. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world super-out-of-the-box re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We often scale social-network-based long-term, intuitive branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also seize extensibly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring new markets? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capability to harness. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to upgrade ultra-robustly. We understand that it is better to cultivate interactively than to exploit transparently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? The users factor is cutting-edge. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. Without appropriate value-added power shifts, models are forced to become vertical. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of innovative web services. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. The web services factor is backward-compatible. We will innovate the capability of solutions to upgrade. Think synergistic. Think long-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. The Total Quality Control factor is fractal. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging bloatware metrics? Think 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the capability of viral subscriber communities to harness. Without front-end, next-generation subscriber communities, you will lack accounting.