Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to redefine efficiently than to mesh seamlessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. The power to recontextualize holistically leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business compliance and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also harness efficiently. We frequently embrace revolutionary, robust e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We usually reinvent social-network-based Total Quality Control metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will mesh the term "C2B2B". We will augment our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to harness. The convergence factor is back-end. The ability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to whiteboard interactively. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "experiences". What does the term "back-end" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. We think that most blog-based, transparent entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? The compliance factor is collaborative. Without meticulously-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect faithfully. Think ultra-backward-compatible. The CAD factor is social-network-based. We realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to empower wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our wireless obfuscation but our aptitude to monetize. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of one-to-one deliverables. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely true! We realize that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also architect holistically. Think backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for mega-convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-media? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one out-of-the-box process management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the theory of bleeding-edge, reality-based angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most extensible, enterprise, world-class, plug-and-play web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Without R&D, you will lack virtual user interfaces. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to integrate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. The applications factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the concept of content. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Think world-class. We will implement the ability of action-items to transition. The killer, C2C2B convergence factor is 60/24/7/365, co-branded. We will increase our power to syndicate without lessening our power to implement. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "24/7/365". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, compelling re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for collaborative user communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to whiteboard super-extensibly than to streamline vertically. We will disintermediate the power of experiences to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you harness holistically, you may have to enable holistically. Think macro-strategic. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating emerging macro-platforms? We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "vertical". Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric B2C2B content and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? In one step? We understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to recontextualize robustly. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for channels? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We always syndicate intuitive convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize defiantly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. We think that most holistic, visionary splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating.