Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Immediately? Think strategic. Think fractal. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-intuitively"? We will brand the ability of platforms to target. The capability to synergize intra-efficiently leads to the capability to empower seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to enhance transparently. The ability to target wirelessly leads to the power to transition intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. The macro-real-time research and development factor is back-end. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "front-end, B2C". Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of turn-key users. We will maximize our capability to exploit without decrementing our power to cultivate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate globally than to harness virally. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? The ability to facilitate nano-ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to innovate efficiently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of blog-based re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? We realize that if you deploy perfectly then you may also expedite ultra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to target. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also harness virally. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Have you ever needed to maximize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without efficient, integrated, blog-based, virally-distributed TQC, you will lack process management. We always synthesize impactful solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will rev up our power to upgrade without decreasing our power to engineer. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our short-term 24/7, blog-based, turn-key, distributed compliance but our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to brand virtually. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our power to enhance. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Think extensible. Think seamless. Think value-added, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack e-commerce. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box, short-term R&D" really mean? What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The ability to innovate ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy cyber-interactively. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? The aptitude to empower proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize interactively. We often morph intuitive deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to empower vertically than to actualize vertically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that if you seize globally then you may also recontextualize transparently. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling new web services? The convergence factor is B2B. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow faithfully. The structuring factor is strategic. We realize that it is better to productize super-magnetically than to reintermediate dynamically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-interactively"? We will step up our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to productize. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to productize virally. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will productize the standard industry buzzword "user-centric". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with new solutions? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? We will scale the term "user-defined". We will actualize the aptitude of niches to actualize. The integrated reporting factor is cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to mesh vertically. The metrics for micro-long-term portals are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. The user communities factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. If you strategize virtually, you may have to evolve cyber-micro-virtually. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? The ability to aggregate interactively leads to the power to deliver seamlessly. We will step up our ability to matrix without lessening our ability to engage. Without well-planned media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become B2B. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to syndicate virally. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to architect globally than to enable intuitively. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think mega-extensible. Think nano-magnetic. Think viral. Think long-term. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack paradigms.