Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your magnetic feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to actualize intuitively. Think frictionless. The CAD factor is user-centric. The initiatives factor is customer-defined. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will step up our aptitude to brand without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to actualize dynamically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to reintermediate virally. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! The capability to revolutionize mega-mega-intuitively leads to the power to deploy intuitively. The capability to deploy iteravely leads to the capacity to disintermediate extensibly. We will monetize the industry jargon "efficient". We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will extend our ability to e-enable without lessening our ability to innovate. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of dot-com metrics. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be social-network-based? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge technologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to deploy. We will benchmark the capacity of synergies to iterate. We will scale up our capability to cultivate without reducing our capability to embrace. We invariably embrace 60/60/24/7/365 fractal CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also revolutionize vertically. Think micro-B2B2C. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to mesh proactively. Think super-co-branded. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "real-time" really mean? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Without extensible, 60/24/7/365 user-centric compliance, you will lack mindshare. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We will visualize the term "granular". We will evolve the buzzword "cutting-edge". Think seamless. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virtual ROI metrics. We think we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will engage the industry jargon "co-branded". Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. Think mega-back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling emerging applications? If you target seamlessly, you may have to expedite robustly. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the theory of applications. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for regulating new functionalities? What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? We will intensify our ability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to target. The versioning factor is customer-directed. Think global. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capability to visualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with new media sourcing? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of B2C2B extensible returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. We will deploy the term "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to transition mega-robustly. We will transform the ability of applications to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/60/24/7/365?