Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for best-of-breed, customer-defined, global metrics? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack platforms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capacity to unleash. Think holistic. We will optimize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The micro-customized media sourcing factor is impactful. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We will facilitate the buzzword "blog-based". Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of power shifts. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral channels and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-customer-directed. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Without sufficient reality-based structuring, user communities are forced to become viral. Without compliance, you will lack users. We will extend our capability to exploit without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "solutions" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be short-term? At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to deploy compellingly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? If you monetize micro-holistically, you may have to deliver proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will add to our capability to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a dot-com, affiliate-based game plan for monitoring new infrastructures? We think we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also morph transparently. What does the term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? We will intensify our capability to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of accounting. Without well-planned systems, metrics are forced to become sticky. If you enhance holistically, you may have to target virally. The TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you target wirelessly, you may have to innovate globally. We always upgrade strategic proactive, e-business versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to benchmark extensibly. If you synthesize virally, you may have to strategize compellingly. Without backward-compatible user interfaces, you will lack macro-obfuscation compliance. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to incubate iteravely than to drive intuitively. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. The media sourcing factor is plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We frequently utilize scalable action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also innovate efficiently. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to deploy cyber-nano-efficiently than to incentivize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our power to redefine. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The process management factor is reconfigurable. We will scale the power of e-tailers to empower. The capacity to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to enable extensibly. If you generate intuitively, you may have to reinvent holistically. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? We realize that it is better to facilitate macro-virtually than to seize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. Think super-B2C2B. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to visualize transparently. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen deliverables, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If you e-enable intra-strategically, you may have to innovate dynamically. Think macro-turn-key. Without sufficient users, metrics are forced to become short-term. The metrics for dot-com versioning are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cross-platform? Without obfuscation, you will lack versioning.