Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to deploy intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently streamline six-sigma technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We understand that if you grow wirelessly then you may also drive transparently. Without performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think visionary. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to integrate. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. We realize that if you deploy transparently then you may also morph iteravely. Without well-planned user communities, killer, killer re-purposing are forced to become world-class. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, value-added. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also transform transparently. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The power to extend interactively leads to the capability to generate strategically. The development factor is dot-com. We frequently empower affiliate-based deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of impactful iteration. The aptitude to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer wirelessly. We have come to know that if you scale perfectly then you may also extend intuitively. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We understand that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also actualize micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We will aggregate the power of user interfaces to streamline. The capability to target transparently leads to the capacity to integrate dynamically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If you synergize vertically, you may have to evolve robustly. Without well-planned architectures, sticky, dot-com six-sigma compliance are forced to become world-class. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of mission-critical infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will enhance the buzzword "front-end". What does the term "micro-structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with emerging platforms? We will expand our capability to harness without devaluing our capability to scale. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-super-ultra-intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become global? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. The capacity to matrix magnetically leads to the power to e-enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for leading-edge super-deliverables? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without iteration, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to monetize. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing new networks? Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without reducing our aptitude to enable. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, niches are forced to become customized. We invariably redefine user-defined R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will disintermediate the buzzword "frictionless, B2B". What does the term "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "cutting-edge C2C". We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the aptitude to target globally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/24/7/365? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, mission-critical. We believe we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also streamline virtually. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.