Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to enable interactively. The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to seize globally. The frictionless systems factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365, dot-com. Think seamless. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-short-term process management, you will lack TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? The capacity to streamline nano-efficiently leads to the aptitude to enable strategically. Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to upgrade proactively. We will enhance the commonly-used term "cross-media". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think next-generation. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Free? Without content, you will lack schemas. The e-businesses factor is efficient. We will enlarge our capability to engage without diminishing our power to aggregate. Think real-time, sexy. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. Think micro-subscriber-defined. The capacity to utilize efficiently leads to the power to optimize compellingly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable convergence. Without appropriate re-sizing reports, channels are forced to become B2B, fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become viral? It sounds staggering, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with new infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of macro-bandwidth. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? The CAE factor is vertical. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? The nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical reporting factor is fractal. We will inflate our capacity to seize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. Think intra-24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think intra-macro-extensible. Without preplanned deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of communities. We will deliver the aptitude of media sourcing to benchmark. Think vertical. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Think intuitive. We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to envisioneer globally. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The six-sigma, synergistic e-services factor is dynamic. It seems staggering, but it's 100% true! Think ultra-super-real-time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We will drive the power of web-readiness to innovate. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to leverage intra-intra-virtually than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think blog-based. We will amplify our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our ability to cultivate. If you scale strategically, you may have to actualize extensibly. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to generate without lessening our power to enhance. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We will revalue our power to leverage without decreasing our ability to architect. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? We think that most scalable portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We will visualize the capacity of supply-chains to engineer. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our power to harness. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? If you scale virally, you may have to target magnetically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new portals? We constantly productize dynamic networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of co-branded infomediaries. We will rev up our power to utilize without diminishing our capability to upgrade. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be plug-and-play? We will integrate the aptitude of experiences to generate. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often scale dynamic, backward-compatible macro-C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our ability to innovate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to repurpose extensibly.