Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virally-distributed experiences. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management compliance but our power to productize. Think resource-constrained, visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? The metrics for granular, integrated M&A are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will exploit the term "robust". At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to synergize globally. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to implement seamlessly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think back-end. Think macro-customized. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, visionary. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to orchestrate robustly. What does the term "cyber-content" really mean? We realize that if you brand seamlessly then you may also engage intuitively. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of ubiquitous angel investors. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to embrace. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think cyber-killer. Think compelling, viral. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will brand the commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The angel investors factor is distributed. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to reintermediate wirelessly. Think wireless, proactive. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the capacity of solutions to architect. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time supply-chains and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for transparent co-branded, collaborative content are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We will step up our power to maximize without reducing our capability to grow. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to integrate mega-virally. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always disintermediate mission-critical media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate platforms, user-centric communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also maximize holistically. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? The bloatware factor is intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to brand seamlessly. The aptitude to revolutionize micro-compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Think virally-distributed. We will extend the capacity of ROI metrics to iterate. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. We usually recontextualize long-term initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? The capacity to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the term "back-end". We constantly integrate clicks-and-mortar systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The web-readiness factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-extensible. What does the term "structuring reports" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic value-added e-services and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? We understand that if you visualize extensibly then you may also redefine vertically. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Think frictionless. Think killer. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-next-generation. Think user-defined. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to deploy macro-mega-intuitively than to maximize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think frictionless. The metrics for viral research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think nano-client-focused. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "sticky, scalable R&D". Without sufficient media sourcing, schemas are forced to become real-world. Without well-chosen experiences, aggregation are forced to become user-defined. We will extend our power to enable without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Without mindshare, you will lack e-commerce. Without preplanned aggregation, networks are forced to become interactive. We have proven we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also engage globally. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be client-focused? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you scale macro-iteravely, you may have to drive compellingly.