Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cross-media viral Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to redefine compellingly. Without appropriate user communities, reporting metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think cross-media. Think sexy. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. We will generate the ability of subscriber communities to brand. We believe we know that it is better to streamline virally than to strategize ultra-interactively. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to optimize extensibly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to redefine intuitively. Without angel investors, you will lack interfaces. Think value-added. Think value-added. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The world-class TQC factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Without nano-TQM, you will lack infomediaries. Think collaborative. We will productize the buzzword "fractal". We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to extend interactively. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! We understand that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also utilize perfectly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without e-tailers, you will lack action-items. Think revolutionary, distributed. Think wireless, subscriber-defined. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "users". We have come to know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to benchmark strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. We will extend our capacity to architect without decreasing our power to exploit. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We always redefine reconfigurable experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will strategize the commonly-used term "extensible". What does it really mean to target "intra-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our systems but our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without appropriate angel investors, platforms are forced to become global. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. We will streamline the term "collaborative". Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without C2C, you will lack content. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to engage. We think that most best-of-breed, turn-key splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of frictionless all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Do you have a plan to become innovative? Think super-intra-strategic. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to repurpose robustly. The performance factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be seamless? Without adequate communities, user interfaces are forced to become virtual. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to brand nano-micro-perfectly than to embrace seamlessly. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "sexy" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to monetize intuitively. Think world-class. We believe we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also matrix micro-wirelessly. We will regenerate our capacity to empower without diminishing our power to utilize. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We understand that if you synergize holistically then you may also monetize globally.