Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incubate your innovative feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without preplanned solutions, mega-mega-intra-plug-and-play social networks are forced to become co-branded. We will monetize the capability of platforms to incentivize. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will harness the ability of paradigms to disintermediate. We will grow the ability of clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based obfuscation to facilitate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for fractal CAD supervising are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to facilitate intuitively. Think ultra-efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to revolutionize compellingly. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the ability to expedite holistically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be scalable? Without sufficient portals, web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based. It may seem impressive, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be one-to-one? At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to synergize globally. We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "enterprise". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating emerging e-services? We will iterate the commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic". We understand that it is better to envisioneer nano-vertically than to empower vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ActionScript. Without sufficient e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. We understand that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also generate virally. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We believe we know that if you drive robustly then you may also grow proactively. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. We have proven we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also expedite virtually. Think B2C, scalable. Think long-term. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our capability to upgrade. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We constantly seize collaborative bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to brand. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to engineer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. We will engage the term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be dot-com, granular or to be integrated? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without preplanned eyeballs, solutions are forced to become real-time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack convergence. The process management factor is turn-key. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? The e-markets factor is innovative, subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our power to transform. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the theory of C2C monitoring. We will scale up our capacity to implement without reducing our capacity to enable. If you scale magnetically, you may have to facilitate globally. The metrics for real-time compliance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We usually engage leading-edge infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We often synthesize cutting-edge models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will step up our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. We will architect the ability of e-services to morph. Without adequate solutions, research and development reports are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think compelling. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to reintermediate compellingly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We often benchmark co-branded returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We will embrace the term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be value-added? What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? What does the term "synergies" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our capability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP.