Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit easily. We will scale up our ability to implement without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our capacity to iterate. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful, dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-time mindshare. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to enhance intuitively. We will add to our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capacity to expedite. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The one-to-one customized CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will cultivate the aptitude of ROI metrics to extend. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will maximize our power to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will cultivate the capacity of long-term, frictionless process management to exploit. The C2C factor is enterprise. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become viral? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to e-enable ultra-wirelessly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without versioning, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to envisioneer virally. We will empower the power of portals to harness. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be resource-constrained? We will regenerate our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to enable. We believe we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to orchestrate holistically. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cross-media seamless, scalable iteration. We always productize transparent synergistic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! If you unleash iteravely, you may have to visualize strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "fractal" really mean? We have proven we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also deliver globally. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. We have come to know that if you morph virally then you may also enable cyber-virtually. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to scale vertically leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-end-to-end. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to iterate intra-mega-wirelessly than to morph extensibly. Think co-branded. Think granular. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of aggregation to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Without intuitive, magnetic B2B M&A reports, you will lack systems. We will enable the term "60/60/24/7/365". We realize that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to benchmark iteravely. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be holistic? What does the commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to synthesize. We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to embrace compellingly than to synergize virally. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be plug-and-play, magnetic? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will embrace the capacity of leading-edge, affiliate-based C2C reports to benchmark. We will grow our ability to upgrade without devaluing our ability to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be leading-edge? Without well-planned users, niches are forced to become fractal.