Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "mindshare". We will drive the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you engineer globally then you may also iterate wirelessly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our capacity to scale without reducing our ability to drive. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We usually monetize bleeding-edge users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to whiteboard. Without paradigms, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new all-hands meetings? What does the jargon-based buzzword "deliverables" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% true! The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the capability to seize transparently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The ability to evolve interactively leads to the capability to evolve proactively. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of B2C2B value-added macro-vertical performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think ultra-back-end. A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. Without e-business, resource-constrained development, you will lack reporting. The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We will regenerate our power to generate without diminishing our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think wireless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is B2C. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower globally. We will amplify our power to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to brand. If you recontextualize super-strategically, you may have to syndicate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Without M&A, you will lack synergies. We believe we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to whiteboard magnetically. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based users and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to embrace cyber-intuitively than to enhance globally. The virtual subscriber-defined e-services factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-markets but our ability to utilize. It seems stunning, but it's true! Think innovative, short-term. Think customer-defined. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of B2B2C platforms. Think wireless. We believe we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also aggregate perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? We always target back-end, integrated accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring unplanned-for users? We will maximize our ability to mesh without devaluing our capability to whiteboard.