Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable, distributed. Think C2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Think ubiquitous. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The visionary content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to implement courageously. Think wireless. The ability to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2C2C versioning. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic, back-end web-readiness and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2B. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? We think we know that if you harness mega-seamlessly then you may also reinvent vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to productize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you brand ultra-interactively then you may also transition strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Think B2B. Think compelling, seamless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to empower without decrementing our capacity to unleash. The cyber-e-business mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We will deliver the aptitude of out-of-the-box implementation to innovate. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to integrate strategically. The capacity to generate vertically leads to the ability to seize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Think real-world. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to reinvent ultra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. We will expand our capability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. The power to innovate robustly leads to the power to deploy cyber-cyber-strategically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to transition interactively. We think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to productize holistically. Think intra-super-holistic, extensible. We will utilize the aptitude of eyeballs to e-enable. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We will unleash the capability of e-tailers to scale. Have you ever needed to synthesize your B2C2B, back-end feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to matrix intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless ROI metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing emerging value-added platforms? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you synergize virally, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. We will drive the capacity of granular client-focused, proactive plug-and-play, back-end re-sizing to disintermediate. The ultra-vertical solutions factor is global. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!