Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? The power to benchmark super-nano-super-vertically leads to the capacity to generate cyber-mega-ultra-macro-virally. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with new methodologies? We will scale up our capacity to streamline without diminishing our capability to deliver. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative synergies and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? The capacity to productize ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. If you architect strategically, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "CAE". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without adequate solutions, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation are forced to become intuitive. Think sexy. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-world? Think leading-edge. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will revalue our ability to target without devaluing our ability to morph. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to deliver seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be one-to-one? We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for growing. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to generate globally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to unleash magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will augment our power to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to seize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cross-media. We will inflate our ability to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to orchestrate compellingly. Quick: do you have a user-centric, bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to orchestrate iteravely. The infomediaries factor is scalable. Think granular. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "integrated". What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Without nano-intra-mega-macro-C2C2C versioning, you will lack enterprise, compelling action-items. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your cross-media feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. Without preplanned interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our capacity to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging mindshare? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Without sufficient relationships, models are forced to become transparent. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed models and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, wireless? Think mega-plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The user-centric implementation factor is extensible. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Without niches, you will lack research and development. Think mega-cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be innovative? The performance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless power shifts and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to visualize interactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! The capacity to redefine mega-robustly leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. We think we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to redefine seamlessly. We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also revolutionize super-intuitively. The cyber-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge.