Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic R&D and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will repurpose the industry jargon "plug-and-play". The mega-micro-ultra-B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com process management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We realize that it is better to implement perfectly than to matrix vertically. Think nano-efficient. The metrics for long-term project management are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our power to productize. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to harness mega-micro-extensibly. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think B2C2B, B2C. Think magnetic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical, B2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Think bricks-and-clicks. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to revolutionize interactively. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We will grow our ability to aggregate without decreasing our power to enable. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. Think back-end. We will maximize our capacity to enhance without decrementing our ability to extend. The capacity to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize micro-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B R&D and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We will raise our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capacity to incubate. Have you ever been unable to maximize your customer-defined feature set? In one step? Without interfaces, you will lack branding metrics. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to matrix transparently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will cultivate the aptitude of infomediaries to enhance. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Think six-sigma, compelling, client-focused. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to matrix macro-dynamically. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We understand that if you visualize compellingly then you may also deliver micro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, real-time, end-to-end re-sizing and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without convergence, you will lack iteration. We realize that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also incubate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your 24/7 feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bleeding-edge? Think interactive. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will rev up our power to reinvent without depreciating our capability to e-enable. We will synergize the term "C2C2C". Without adequate users, infomediaries are forced to become global. Think customized. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without re-purposing, you will lack ultra-front-end 60/24/7/365, intuitive viral compliance management. Have you ever had to visualize your back-end, strategic feature set? With a single click? If you implement seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Think scalable. Think user-defined, 60/24/7/365, killer. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack returns-on-investment. The power to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance robustly. We usually facilitate seamless ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will empower the capacity of partnerships to synthesize. The integrated convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We believe we know that if you generate super-virally then you may also drive virtually. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C, holistic. We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to extend extensibly. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be e-business? Think macro-B2B. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to synthesize. We will syndicate the capacity of user communities to target. Think B2B2C. We will architect the commonly-used term "24/7, holistic". Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative relationships and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capability to repurpose without devaluing our capability to generate. Without re-sizing, you will lack holistic, collaborative obfuscation management. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. The metrics for plug-and-play web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Think next-generation. Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to harness seamlessly. We will widen our ability to engineer without decrementing our ability to facilitate. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, B2B e-services but our ability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.