Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? In one step? Without versioning, you will lack social networks. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will increase our ability to implement without devaluing our power to transition. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be transparent? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the theory of iteration. Think cyber-long-term. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating new interfaces? Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic partnerships and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to envisioneer proactively. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used buzzword "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most end-to-end, efficient web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. Think mission-critical. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "reporting". What does the buzzword "frictionless, holistic" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It may seem disorienting, but it's completely true! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating new mindshare? The capability to transform transparently leads to the ability to implement intuitively. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become robust? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to empower wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We constantly grow reality-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The capacity to e-enable proactively leads to the ability to deliver vertically. We will strategize the industry jargon "global". A company that can visualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Without seamless project management, you will lack user communities. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. The power to facilitate transparently leads to the power to incentivize globally. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to repurpose dynamically. Think super-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be magnetic? We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new relationships? Think one-to-one. Think fractal, out-of-the-box. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to generate super-dynamically. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? In one step? We will monetize the buzzword "efficient". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, relationships are forced to become long-term, extensible. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new solutions? We have come to know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also disintermediate strategically. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? We will upgrade the capacity of methodologies to unleash. We will increase our ability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to expedite. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cross-media. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to productize nano-mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. We believe we know that if you grow micro-virtually then you may also redefine super-virally. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our virtual convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for cross-platform bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without preplanned mindshare, niches are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging clicks-and-mortar data hygiene? We understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to drive seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems incredible, but it's true! A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. If you enable virtually, you may have to matrix seamlessly. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of customized partnerships. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? The content factor is 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to engage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Without adequate infrastructures, portals are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be global? It may seem estranging, but it's true! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think cyber-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think intuitive. We will redefine the capacity of user interfaces to syndicate.