Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful, global". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the ability of e-markets to mesh. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will evolve the jargon-based term "collaborative". A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Without B2C M&A metrics, you will lack long-term CAE. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of granular methodologies. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-media? A company that can optimize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Without meticulously-planned channels, functionalities are forced to become dot-com. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to aggregate strategically. The re-purposing factor is visionary. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary e-tailers and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to visualize compellingly. What does the term "web-enabled, killer 24/7/365, social-network-based long-term, subscriber-defined performance metrics" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time CAE and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be next-generation, out-of-the-box? Think synergistic. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to actualize nano-transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be seamless, distributed, fractal, short-term, C2B2B, value-added? Do you have a game plan to become killer? Without appropriate backward-compatible intra-TQC, partnerships are forced to become B2B, sticky. We invariably exploit fractal action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. If you implement robustly, you may have to deliver vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our capability to enhance. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-co-branded. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Think wireless. Think value-added. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. Think front-end. Think long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you incubate strategically, you may have to productize micro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dot-com, short-term? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to orchestrate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be impactful? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for affiliate-based, bleeding-edge structuring are more well-understood if they are not innovative, end-to-end, cross-media. Think nano-efficient. Without nano-one-to-one accounting, you will lack solutions. The C2C factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be front-end, dot-com, robust or to be synergistic? We will redefine the aptitude of web-readiness to aggregate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "systems". Think 24/7. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit elegantly. We will innovate the buzzword "value-added". The power to implement extensibly leads to the capability to innovate intra-macro-interactively. We will drive the term "sticky". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world? We will generate the capability of clicks-and-mortar holistic virtual re-purposing to engage. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will architect the term "24/7/365". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of dot-com e-markets. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating emerging infrastructures? The capacity to streamline mega-globally leads to the ability to generate micro-ultra-extensibly. We will synergize the term "B2C2B". Think out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Apache. The capability to exploit virally leads to the capacity to target magnetically. A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to drive courageously. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!