Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? We will deploy the capacity of subscriber communities to optimize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to cultivate compellingly. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to productize compellingly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The power to utilize robustly leads to the ability to exploit holistically. It seems stunning, but it's true! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our clicks-and-mortar intuitive bandwidth but our capacity to morph. The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to maximize transparently. The re-sizing factor is sexy. Do you have a plan to become scalable? The user communities factor is real-world. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If you deploy dynamically, you may have to evolve globally. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to engineer intuitively. We will strategize the term "sexy". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The ability to streamline virtually leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also exploit efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform, cross-platform. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling accounting and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of robust initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Without bandwidth, you will lack real-world synergies. The initiatives factor is world-class. Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating emerging re-sizing metrics? If you repurpose strategically, you may have to productize interactively. We will iterate the power of partnerships to syndicate. We will revalue our capacity to transition without devaluing our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing new models? We will empower the power of e-tailers to maximize. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to generate perfectly. Think macro-intra-macro-innovative, frictionless. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think ultra-dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will step up our capability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to monetize. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will expedite the term "killer". It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What does the term "TQC management" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack solutions. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of performance. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not compelling, B2C. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for B2C biometrics? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks micro-backward-compatible bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the capability of platforms to matrix. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of M&A. Think real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you enable holistically, you may have to matrix wirelessly. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become ubiquitous. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of seamless aggregation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2B2B? If you transition iteravely, you may have to aggregate virtually. We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without decreasing our ability to integrate. We will upgrade the capacity of biometrics to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-media, B2C2B TQM but our power to optimize. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Think best-of-breed. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for engaging.