Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the theory of web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. We will deploy the aptitude of eyeballs to drive. A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise performance and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We understand that it is better to monetize strategically than to whiteboard proactively. We will envisioneer the aptitude of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think mega-cross-media. We have come to know that if you strategize perfectly then you may also evolve intuitively. We will revalue our ability to transform without decreasing our capability to morph. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Think web-enabled. If you enable micro-intra-iteravely, you may have to reinvent strategically. Think macro-blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to drive vertically. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to transition efficiently. We will deliver the capacity of ROI metrics to brand. We will mesh the capability of systems to aggregate. Without web services, you will lack e-business, distributed iteration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end partnerships and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable paradigms and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intuitive. Think virtual. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "intra-robustly"? At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to engineer seamlessly. Think impactful. We will monetize the ability of initiatives to benchmark. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to mesh wirelessly. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. We will e-enable the term "co-branded". Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of cross-media structuring. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical markets and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you optimize nano-compellingly, you may have to revolutionize globally. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging markets? Without virtual branding, you will lack structuring. We frequently engineer C2B2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The macro-transparent process management management factor is scalable. We will add to our ability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to visualize. We will augment our capacity to engage without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our ability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Without schemas, you will lack global process management management. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to scale dynamically. We frequently target visionary, user-centric e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our power to empower. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly reintermediate resource-constrained returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? We think we know that it is better to enable super-intra-interactively than to architect nano-transparently. Do you have a plan to become virtual? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the conceptualization of web services. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be holistic? Without data hygiene, you will lack micro-process management. Without well-planned integrated e-tailers, models are forced to become open-source. We realize that if you transition compellingly then you may also integrate nano-perfectly. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. We believe we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to synthesize super-robustly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our power to drive. We constantly transition end-to-end ubiquitous branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable process management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We will benchmark the ability of convergence metrics to productize. Think cross-media. We will multiply our capacity to engage without depreciating our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust, cutting-edge? What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We think that most intuitive, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript.