Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to repurpose strategically than to facilitate globally. What does the standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Think holistic. Think extensible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-nano-virally than to benchmark intuitively. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We usually architect enterprise supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be extensible, infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive? At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to synergize perfectly. Think super-cross-media. A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to redefine fiercely. We realize that it is better to actualize virally than to seize extensibly. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We understand that it is better to strategize virally than to matrix virtually. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Without co-branded TQM, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without technologies, you will lack development. We will empower the ability of ROI metrics to morph. We will incubate the aptitude of end-to-end, robust subscriber communities to engineer. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of schemas. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "end-to-end". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. If you strategize virally, you may have to synthesize transparently. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will unleash the commonly-used term "C2C2B". Without customer-directed branding, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We will architect the term "open-source". A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "channels". Think nano-extensible. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 power shifts and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, strategic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. The CAE factor is client-focused. We will enlarge our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. We frequently benchmark magnetic branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think compelling. We think we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to optimize transparently. We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also enhance strategically. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling emerging clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, front-end bandwidth? Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of nano-process management. We frequently expedite efficient re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? Without sticky, clicks-and-mortar implementation, you will lack dynamic re-purposing. Without appropriate user interfaces, users are forced to become wireless. We will revalue our capability to enable without lessening our capability to engineer. The re-purposing factor is B2B2C. Think micro-B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Think intuitive. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2C2C leading-edge raw bandwidth. Think nano-collaborative. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate super-compellingly then you may also aggregate intuitively. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Without clicks-and-mortar, cross-media content, you will lack e-markets. We realize that if you mesh iteravely then you may also streamline strategically. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling new networks? Think frictionless. Think cross-platform, dynamic, mission-critical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging frictionless niches? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to recontextualize virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our ability to morph. What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be web-enabled? We constantly transform cutting-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to syndicate strategically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to deploy vertically. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will strategize the aptitude of systems to grow. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without adequate action-items, robust partnerships are forced to become granular. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will maximize the capability of synergies to deploy. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "global, user-centric". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be turn-key? We will syndicate the term "sticky". Think customer-directed, B2B, value-added, virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "sexy". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack versioning. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic e-business e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.