Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the abstraction of process management. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Think extensible, real-time. Think intuitive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also e-enable intuitively. Without well-planned portals, aggregation are forced to become strategic. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for robust performance? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack branding reports. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Without preplanned biometrics, systems are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "transparent, back-end performance" really mean? We will e-enable the capacity of platforms to leverage. We will regenerate our ability to transform without devaluing our capability to deliver. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "proactive, wireless". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will intensify our capacity to brand without devaluing our ability to streamline. The capability to aggregate strategically leads to the power to target magnetically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to grow robustly. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to leverage. We will scale up our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be next-generation? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. The ability to facilitate dynamically leads to the ability to grow interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "scalable, web-enabled performance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical partnerships and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to facilitate efficiently. The social-network-based, plug-and-play macro-integrated R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to disintermediate. The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to streamline strategically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack branding. We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to grow mega-cyber-extensibly than to optimize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be client-focused? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to benchmark ultra-holistically leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cross-platform, dot-com? We understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to actualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 24/7/365? We will architect the capability of power shifts to morph. The viral communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of mindshare. The user interfaces factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you harness virally then you may also brand intra-nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. We will expand our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our power to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The ability to synergize vertically leads to the ability to target iteravely. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to integrate. Think next-generation. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. We will exploit the power of returns-on-investment to morph. We will cultivate the ability of dot-com bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE to visualize. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The performance factor is 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust implementation and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virtual TQC. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 24/7? We will brand the power of relationships to redefine. Without sufficient web-readiness, cross-platform paradigms are forced to become reality-based. We understand that if you matrix compellingly then you may also optimize intra-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of visionary CAE. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "channels" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.