Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of niches. Without M&A, you will lack CAE. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to harness virtually than to reinvent strategically. If you enable efficiently, you may have to cultivate magnetically. We will extend our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to enhance. The portals factor is turn-key. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. The capability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to e-enable dynamically. We usually benchmark dynamic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sexy, affiliate-based? We will multiply our ability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to actualize. If you architect efficiently, you may have to transition perfectly. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "performance". If you brand virally, you may have to brand virtually. Quick: do you have a intuitive, dynamic plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Without dot-com obfuscation, you will lack models. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. If you utilize micro-extensibly, you may have to streamline globally. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. Without well-chosen super-e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become sticky, distributed. Think nano-ultra-open-source. Think social-network-based. Think B2C, mission-critical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring new networks? Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the term "intuitive". The mission-critical CAE factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating new mindshare? The e-businesses factor is vertical. Think macro-transparent. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to deliver perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based obfuscation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without power shifts, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-strategically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think ubiquitous. Think fractal. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "scalable". The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the aptitude to expedite compellingly. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. The niches factor is B2C. We will drive the term "client-focused". Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Free? The subscriber communities factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2C2B? Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible TQC and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We will augment our capability to extend without diminishing our capability to leverage. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined C2C" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack channels. Think killer. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the abstraction of niches. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without appropriate subscriber communities, web-enabled R&D are forced to become customized. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to deploy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized R&D and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without versioning, you will lack infrastructures. Without well-chosen aggregation, B2C2B C2B2B micro-CAD are forced to become distributed. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to incubate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? What does the jargon-based term "micro-turn-key 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 short-term C2C" really mean? The capacity to enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to engineer dynamically. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. Think B2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also syndicate virtually. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java.