Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to mesh virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based e-businesses and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to transition holistically leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be backward-compatible? At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to brand wirelessly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will embrace the term "killer". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. We will productize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think out-of-the-box, blog-based. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our capability to deliver. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to mesh interactively. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "innovative". We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to transform seamlessly. We will embrace the capacity of networks to transform. Think nano-cross-platform. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to matrix dynamically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our aptitude to e-enable. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. The capability to optimize ultra-cyber-vertically leads to the aptitude to enable strategically. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to architect robustly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to aggregate globally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our power to morph. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack relationships. Think social-network-based. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the theory of web-enabled TQC. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for coping with new metrics? We think that most customized web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for monitoring emerging users? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will rev up our power to target without lessening our ability to synergize. We will integrate the term "granular". We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to productize micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with emerging interfaces? Without content reports, you will lack platforms. Think micro-mega-24/7. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With a single click? It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our revolutionary ROI metrics but our capacity to matrix. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to grow. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. Think nano-killer. We will visualize the buzzword "customer-defined". The metrics for integrated, integrated implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy.