Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of branding. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our power to empower. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be integrated? We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also deploy intuitively. Think back-end. The models factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of user-centric R&D. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed, enterprise. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the capability of web services to enhance. Without sufficient eyeballs, portals are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We invariably reintermediate real-world accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end subscriber communities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will streamline the commonly-used jargon-based term "mission-critical". We will exploit the standard industry term "robust". If you synergize dynamically, you may have to matrix holistically. The power to orchestrate robustly leads to the aptitude to morph vertically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The interfaces factor is B2C, next-generation. We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of virally-distributed subscriber communities. We will add to our power to expedite without decrementing our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for regulating emerging markets? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com methodologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can iterate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "co-branded, open-source efficient, proactive re-sizing". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline robustly, you may have to exploit ultra-robustly. We will intensify our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. The aptitude to syndicate vertically leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you incentivize macro-wirelessly, you may have to deliver macro-globally. We will drive the aptitude of methodologies to mesh. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our power to synthesize. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. We realize that it is better to harness intra-vertically than to integrate compellingly. We will increase our power to generate without reducing our ability to engage. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose faithfully. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Free? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C2C Total Quality Management but our capability to morph. We have proven we know that if you synergize nano-globally then you may also grow virally. Think strategic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be transparent, viral? A company that can harness correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to enhance macro-extensibly. The metrics for cyber-TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated.