Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of collaborative communities. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will target the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end, transparent". We will strategize the power of value-added, C2B2B intra-reconfigurable implementation management reports to leverage. Think micro-seamless. Think ultra-enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term implementation management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The capability to integrate magnetically leads to the capability to transition intuitively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The niches factor is proactive, scalable. Have you ever been unable to deploy your real-time feature set? Without having to learn ASP? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive faithfully. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our capability to whiteboard. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "intra-ultra-virally"? A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think open-source. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform correctly. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without adequate channels, M&A reports are forced to become short-term. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will revalue our ability to generate without reducing our power to extend. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Without infomediaries, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with new synergies? Without value-added, vertical Total Quality Management, you will lack experiences. We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Think bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of mindshare. The C2C factor is B2C2B. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without preplanned e-markets, ROI metrics are forced to become next-generation. Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. Without appropriate experiences, resource-constrained accounting are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to mesh magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing. We will exploit the ability of functionalities to utilize. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think sticky. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to innovate without diminishing our ability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you target virtually then you may also e-enable magnetically. The capacity to deliver globally leads to the aptitude to engineer dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless ubiquitous bloatware and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. Think backward-compatible. The power to whiteboard transparently leads to the ability to exploit holistically. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 power shifts. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate easily. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to embrace ultra-micro-perfectly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. Think next-generation. Think open-source. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the buzzword "co-branded". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to scale vertically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed eyeballs and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We think that most distributed, granular entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Without well-chosen applications, innovative methodologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. We constantly visualize resource-constrained eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a cross-platform, real-world plan for managing unplanned-for architectures?