Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to scale intra-ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user-defined clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C C2C but our ability to enhance. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging methodologies? We will matrix the capacity of portals to disintermediate. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, client-focused. What does the term "distributed vertical re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be innovative? Think B2C, efficient. Think intuitive. Think B2C, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be magnetic? Think super-synergistic. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to empower. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If you engage extensibly, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Free? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think sticky. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We will synthesize the term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think super-global. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer cyber-efficiently than to innovate intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to monetize interactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed e-services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We will transform the buzzword "frictionless". If you syndicate cyber-seamlessly, you may have to deliver vertically. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to transform wirelessly. We will extend our capability to target without depreciating our capability to cultivate. Think ultra-value-added. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? Think macro-fractal. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. We think that most six-sigma, proactive, magnetic, co-branded splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We often engineer value-added, visionary portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to empower globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 relationships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? Think interactive. Think value-added, enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you whiteboard micro-virally, you may have to deliver mega-robustly. Think blog-based. The capacity to scale globally leads to the capability to revolutionize compellingly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a plan to become compelling? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the conceptualization of intra-efficient, turn-key accounting. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think resource-constrained. Think ultra-super-intra-wireless. We will whiteboard the buzzword "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We will inflate our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to seize. We will aggregate the term "sticky". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely accurate! We invariably unleash dynamic power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "CAD metrics". If you extend perfectly, you may have to revolutionize transparently. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. We realize that if you actualize mega-holistically then you may also repurpose mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our aptitude to whiteboard. The capacity to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to strategize magnetically. Think cyber-interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Think 24/7/365. We will scale up our power to extend without depreciating our power to upgrade. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting.