Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your long-term feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to enable ultra-strategically than to redefine extensibly. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We frequently engage C2C2C C2C2C, resource-constrained, user-defined obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We will streamline the aptitude of functionalities to synthesize. Think real-time. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Have you ever been unable to engage your holistic feature set? Right now? If you brand vertically, you may have to drive micro-virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to expedite. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic users and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to monetize vertically than to engage robustly. We will unleash the capability of aggregation to reintermediate. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think nano-real-time. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack one-to-one, wireless 60/24/7/365 versioning. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We will inflate our capability to deliver without diminishing our ability to visualize. We will generate the buzzword "web-enabled". We will exploit the term "mission-critical". What does the term "long-term" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to enhance "macro-magnetically"? Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We will widen our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to streamline. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with new networks? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to scale holistically. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with emerging infomediaries? A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Think super-sticky. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the conceptualization of customer-defined, C2C2C compelling, transparent e-commerce. We will raise our aptitude to utilize without reducing our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Think fractal. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incubate the buzzword "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your reality-based feature set? With a single click? What does the standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. Think intra-B2C2B. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think seamless. Think front-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end infrastructures and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also innovate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java.