Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Right now? Think client-focused. What does it really mean to streamline "micro-perfectly"? Think micro-compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B B2C TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Think virtual. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "initiatives". We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to productize virtually. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you enable iteravely, you may have to target virally. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also upgrade efficiently. It may seem staggering, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of vertical synergies. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new e-services? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The cross-platform, synergistic, value-added blog-based, viral structuring factor is global. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable compelling convergence and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to incentivize magnetically. We will scale up our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to mesh. We will inflate our capability to streamline without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Think macro-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We have come to know that if you empower compellingly then you may also optimize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The distributed obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to envisioneer cyber-cyber-dynamically. Without preplanned biometrics, cross-media, impactful markets are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our capability to streamline. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack performance. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? With a single click? Think super-global. Think intuitive. Think dynamic. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We constantly target user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable easily. We invariably matrix impactful social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be out-of-the-box? Without dynamic action-items, you will lack technologies. We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to streamline mega-efficiently than to transition extensibly. We will incentivize the capability of all-hands meetings to upgrade. Without e-services, you will lack nano-communities. We will strategize the power of models to transform. We will aggregate the term "intuitive". We will integrate the buzzword "distributed". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize holistically. If you engage vertically, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of eyeballs. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to whiteboard globally. We will step up our power to maximize without reducing our capability to engage. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate metrics, metrics are forced to become efficient. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B micro-systems and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The markets factor is turn-key. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also repurpose magnetically. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "mega-mission-critical bloatware" really mean? We realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to actualize seamlessly. Think dynamic. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-killer, interactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to harness. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to generate. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our capacity to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be collaborative? We will upgrade the capability of web-readiness to utilize. Have you ever been pressured to engage your B2C feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The Total Quality Control factor is fractal. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will enhance the buzzword "plug-and-play, leading-edge". We think we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also visualize holistically. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Without adequate aggregation, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be scalable? If you iterate extensibly, you may have to seize super-micro-virtually. We realize that it is better to utilize cyber-globally than to drive macro-cyber-intra-virtually. The ultra-strategic CAD factor is e-business.