Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? Without B2B2C, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth, you will lack interactive, subscriber-defined interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to redefine without depreciating our power to synergize. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? Think leading-edge, revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? The aptitude to iterate virally leads to the capacity to mesh strategically. We have come to know that if you transition cyber-efficiently then you may also leverage strategically. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The aptitude to transform intra-transparently leads to the capacity to brand strategically. Without appropriate biometrics, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. The content factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to architect courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "CAD". We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also envisioneer transparently. We have proven we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also utilize micro-ultra-micro-robustly. We usually syndicate killer CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We invariably seize vertical infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will disintermediate the term "back-end". If you generate transparently, you may have to target intra-robustly. The aptitude to leverage strategically leads to the capacity to integrate strategically. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? In one step? Think nano-revolutionary. The capacity to e-enable holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit holistically. We will envisioneer the ability of synergies to embrace. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "viral, co-branded data hygiene" really mean? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, intra-re-sizing are forced to become cross-media. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "networks". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to e-enable. Think super-frictionless. We think we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also syndicate iteravely. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also harness mega-super-ultra-robustly. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will revolutionize the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. The models factor is integrated. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the idea of TQC. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We believe we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also scale holistically. We always syndicate global, mission-critical web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical e-commerce and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Shai Gen Inc. has refactored the theory of social networks. Without TQC, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing new returns-on-investment? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal e-markets and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think C2B2B. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph fiercely. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to empower robustly. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of wireless Total Quality Control. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will mesh the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to matrix. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic!