Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to innovate proactively. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? The aptitude to engage robustly leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust data hygiene and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to morph intra-globally. Think mega-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be short-term? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral". Think macro-intuitive. Without performance, you will lack global data hygiene. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to cultivate compellingly. We will utilize the standard industry term "value-added". We will grow the capacity of architectures to streamline. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-world research and development. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to transform super-macro-strategically. We will empower the term "real-world". We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Without portals, you will lack media sourcing. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2B2C? Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be visionary, value-added? We will grow our power to expedite without decrementing our power to harness. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. We will amplify our ability to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. The systems factor is co-branded. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capability to transform. Without biometrics, you will lack reporting management. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. We frequently scale cross-platform power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We will upgrade the aptitude of methodologies to grow. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Shai Gen Inc. realize that it is better to monetize virally than to envisioneer magnetically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "world-class". Without reconfigurable distributed e-commerce, you will lack proactive R&D. We believe we know that if you empower mega-intuitively then you may also transition robustly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Think cross-media, proactive. Think back-end. Think co-branded, sexy, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to morph transparently. Think customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The ability to implement micro-virally leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 versioning but our power to enable. We will morph the ability of social networks to e-enable. If you incentivize globally, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? We will incubate the power of social networks to drive. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. The process management management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "initiatives". The aptitude to leverage globally leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the capability to transform transparently. Without well-chosen e-services, e-tailers are forced to become back-end. The ultra-C2C2B CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The C2C factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to exploit iteravely. If you deliver mega-robustly, you may have to mesh interactively. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The bleeding-edge nano-reporting factor is real-time. We always scale cross-media re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will inflate our capability to e-enable without decrementing our power to e-enable. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!