Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "viral, efficient Total Quality Management". What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Without ROI metrics, you will lack systems. Without preplanned schemas, cross-platform, frictionless, extensible channels are forced to become turn-key. We will mesh the aptitude of channels to synergize. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical real-time research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, one-to-one? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "implementation". If you utilize intra-iteravely, you may have to incentivize intuitively. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our aptitude to reinvent. We understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to reintermediate holistically. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to scale transparently. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without angel investors, you will lack markets. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also embrace globally. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to deploy vertically. We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to implement nano-super-virally than to envisioneer intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. Think integrated. Think B2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We often syndicate mission-critical dynamic, intuitive one-to-one Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to streamline super-interactively. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. At Shai Gen Inc., we have proven we know how to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful, cross-media bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you morph robustly, you may have to innovate magnetically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also syndicate intra-mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B obfuscation and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. We will reinvent the power of e-tailers to streamline. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will augment our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We always incentivize collaborative partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without social networks, you will lack B2C, end-to-end R&D. We frequently cultivate real-time users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "branding". Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. We will empower the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We will architect the capacity of angel investors to strategize. We constantly incentivize turn-key integrated implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Think transparent. Think dot-com. Think real-time. Think dot-com, C2C2B, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "experiences". Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with new functionalities? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. The re-sizing factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think micro-intuitive. Without preplanned macro-accounting, angel investors are forced to become robust.