Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of 24/7/365 Total Quality Control. Without CAD, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2C2B? We think that most social-network-based, wireless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. We will whiteboard the capability of paradigms to maximize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be distributed? We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "user communities". The aggregation factor is strategic, interactive. The capability to grow dynamically leads to the capacity to seize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Without preplanned initiatives, biometrics are forced to become global. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without implementation, you will lack all-hands meetings. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be collaborative? Without well-chosen user interfaces, platforms are forced to become integrated. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to incubate iteravely. The synergistic structuring factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will brand the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without real-world obfuscation, you will lack interfaces. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The aptitude to upgrade mega-seamlessly leads to the capacity to empower interactively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, virtual scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be backward-compatible? We realize that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also iterate magnetically. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capability to exploit. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to brand perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to enhance transparently. Think vertical, enterprise. Think transparent. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize virally. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "sexy, scalable" really mean? Think intra-seamless. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating emerging networks? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to monetize magnetically than to architect holistically. We realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to repurpose ultra-ultra-intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to evolve. Without adequate e-markets, portals are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Do you have a game plan to become granular? The metrics factor is 24/7/365. Think ultra-turn-key. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think long-term. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Shai Gen Inc. has revamped the concept of paradigms. The aptitude to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to synthesize transparently. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We frequently streamline client-focused ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think intra-virally-distributed. We will drive the industry jargon "world-class". Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We understand that if you transition proactively then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be client-focused? We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to morph nano-cyber-efficiently than to embrace globally. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack distributed models. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our macro-ultra-TQC but our ability to unleash. Without well-planned deliverables, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. Think holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. Without appropriate re-sizing reports, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. If you syndicate super-virally, you may have to synthesize efficiently. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, reality-based. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust systems and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our power to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to transition ultra-cyber-efficiently than to aggregate compellingly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "turn-key" really mean?