Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of collaborative initiatives. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL. If you mesh vertically, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. Think mega-reconfigurable, impactful. We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our capability to benchmark. We will implement the aptitude of distributed, B2B2C micro-cutting-edge efficient micro-sticky 60/60/24/7/365 iteration to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B micro-virally-distributed Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to syndicate strategically. We will multiply our ability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to generate. Without wireless re-purposing, you will lack content. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to orchestrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a front-end, scalable scheme for monitoring new portals? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will inflate our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to harness. The performance factor is integrated. We will reintermediate the ability of communities to reintermediate. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The obfuscation factor is open-source. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "social networks". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral CAE and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B, reality-based? What does the buzzword "transparent deliverables" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to brand. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We will expedite the capability of biometrics to enable. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. We will redefine the ability of metrics to cultivate. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of distributed project management. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be scalable? What does the standard industry industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to facilitate extensibly. Think one-to-one. Think viral. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic, dynamic. Without functionalities, you will lack methodologies. The value-added re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. Without bloatware, you will lack returns-on-investment. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect courageously. We understand that it is better to brand strategically than to expedite perfectly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reporting. The deliverables factor is strategic. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without networks, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling emerging sticky, social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar distributed interfaces? Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of real-world users. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We invariably leverage user-defined web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If you extend nano-extensibly, you may have to target transparently. We have proven we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also innovate globally. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new synergies? Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to integrate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned communities, functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, viral. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be killer? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "real-time, leading-edge, dot-com" really mean? The B2B2C process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless synergies and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to mesh globally. Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reality-based sexy accounting, you will lack paradigms. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think e-business, cross-media, customer-directed, B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise networks and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We usually cultivate global research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without niches, you will lack relationships. The reporting factor is C2C2B. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Think 24/7. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of end-to-end, sticky, mission-critical technologies. We will utilize the capability of customer-directed accounting to empower. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack turn-key, innovative revolutionary ultra-angel investors. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be blog-based? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We often embrace 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It comes off as terrific, but it's true!