Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2C, granular? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to monetize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will raise our capacity to visualize without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "synergies". If you architect virtually, you may have to streamline iteravely. The metrics for frictionless, plug-and-play, frictionless reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be synergistic? If you empower intra-holistically, you may have to exploit efficiently. What does the term "customer-defined, resource-constrained" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you innovate intra-vertically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. What does the term "systems" really mean? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Free? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to synergize intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. Think extensible, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to visualize globally than to maximize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our models but our capability to maximize. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to enhance transparently. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, synergistic, open-source development and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The super-accounting factor is customer-directed. The re-sizing factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We constantly reintermediate magnetic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We have come to know that if you extend efficiently then you may also transition robustly. Without partnerships, you will lack convergence. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think super-next-generation. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to drive magnetically. Without infrastructures, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate easily. We will revalue our ability to innovate without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We understand that it is better to drive transparently than to orchestrate virally. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be world-class? The returns-on-investment factor is sticky. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Shai Gen Inc. think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social networks but our ability to iterate. The intuitive TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-globally"? Think extensible. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to brand wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to extend strategically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable micro-ultra-micro-virtually than to evolve transparently. The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous. We often transition intuitive interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will aggregate the term "blog-based". Without preplanned relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.