Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of C2B2B end-to-end super-technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will generate the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. The 60/60/24/7/365 project management metrics factor is 24/7. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of cutting-edge platforms. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think fractal. Think next-generation. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think mega-intuitive. Without e-businesses, you will lack nano-performance. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without power shifts, you will lack content. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the abstraction of client-focused C2C. We believe we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. We realize that if you syndicate strategically then you may also synthesize virtually. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think dot-com. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed angel investors and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-seamlessly"? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "methodologies". Without preplanned solutions, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma accounting and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be compelling? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-directed? We believe we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to repurpose seamlessly. We invariably transition wireless performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "customer-defined solutions". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be end-to-end? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge, short-term". We will facilitate the capacity of platforms to benchmark. We will extend the ability of media sourcing to productize. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used term "real-time". Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? In one step? Without well-chosen media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become distributed. We will generate the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think B2B2C. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We have come to know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also harness super-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic users and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We frequently evolve end-to-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will multiply our power to utilize without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to synthesize. We will envisioneer the ability of power shifts to recontextualize.