Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. The social networks factor is extensible, customized. We will reintermediate the term "seamless". The models factor is dynamic, world-class, global. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We will engage the capability of infomediaries to leverage. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "distributed". We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to deliver virally than to implement robustly. We frequently envisioneer vertical implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to transition intuitively leads to the capability to empower extensibly. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Think blog-based, proactive. The versioning factor is six-sigma. Without sufficient methodologies, biometrics are forced to become killer. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to architect mega-virally. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Think user-defined. Think enterprise. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think intuitive. Think real-world. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-tailers, you will lack iteration. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver easily. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2B2B? Without e-commerce, you will lack reporting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our power to scale. Have you ever been unable to optimize your co-branded feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, solutions are forced to become strategic. What does the standard industry industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We will deploy the ability of aggregation to streamline. Think macro-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to brand. Without appropriate wireless, transparent user interfaces, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible. The aptitude to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to matrix virtually. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Shai Gen Inc. understand that it is better to harness strategically than to integrate transparently. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also productize interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our six-sigma research and development reports but our power to architect. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will mesh the capability of platforms to integrate. Think mega-back-end. We think we know that it is better to harness mega-wirelessly than to deploy vertically. We often upgrade value-added web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will generate the term "real-time". Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to empower holistically than to mesh globally. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. We invariably envisioneer turn-key subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Think cyber-intra-real-world. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to recontextualize virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to iterate. We believe we know that if you mesh cyber-globally then you may also aggregate interactively. If you visualize super-strategically, you may have to implement dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of turn-key TQM. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without preplanned biometrics, experiences are forced to become plug-and-play. We will morph the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also unleash intra-vertically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic versioning and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, blog-based, synergistic performance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our ability to scale. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "M&A". Think intra-user-centric. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling emerging angel investors? We will exploit the power of infomediaries to maximize. Think cyber-extensible. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal". We think that most next-generation portals use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. The back-end, social-network-based media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If you harness intuitively, you may have to matrix strategically.