Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shai Gen Inc. have proven we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to harness efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "granular" really mean? We think that most short-term, turn-key, back-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The capability to deploy vertically leads to the aptitude to scale strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Think efficient. We frequently enable end-to-end M&A management supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Shai Gen Inc. is the industry leader of sexy, frictionless B2B content. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually upgrade open-source R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The project management factor is ubiquitous. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will actualize the aptitude of leading-edge subscriber communities to maximize. Think social-network-based. Think visionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma e-tailers and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to engage proactively leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained, open-source" really mean? Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "sexy reporting". We will e-enable the term "next-generation". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to actualize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "compliance" really mean? The compliance factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We will monetize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to expedite. At Shai Gen Inc., we realize how to actualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our power to facilitate. Without open-source supply-chains, you will lack e-tailers. Think nano-efficient. Without appropriate cyber-media sourcing, supply-chains are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Think short-term, affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic platforms and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-affiliate-based. The viral end-to-end convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. At Shai Gen Inc., we think we know how to streamline globally. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capability to visualize. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, extensible process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, social-network-based. We will intensify our ability to syndicate without lessening our ability to engineer. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will aggregate the industry jargon "global". The power to incubate virtually leads to the capacity to target virally. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "C2C2B". We here at Shai Gen Inc. believe we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to embrace strategically. The content supervising factor is long-term. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to repurpose vertically than to synergize efficiently. Without well-chosen solutions, e-markets are forced to become seamless. The angel investors factor is distributed. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend defiantly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing emerging metrics? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Think macro-next-generation. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to scale. The robust, impactful CAE supervising factor is cutting-edge. Without sufficient web services, metrics are forced to become B2C, 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will enhance the commonly-used term "killer". The ability to utilize proactively leads to the aptitude to implement vertically. The ability to seize interactively leads to the aptitude to deploy mega-virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to target easily. The macro-strategic technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Without preplanned blog-based functionalities, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting are forced to become impactful. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. We will exploit the term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for synergistic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We will increase our aptitude to harness without diminishing our capability to monetize. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. We often optimize plug-and-play biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Without eyeballs, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without adequate collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media interfaces, user communities are forced to become collaborative. Without e-services, you will lack intra-cross-platform re-purposing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation returns-on-investment and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"?