Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "TQC". We will optimize the capability of functionalities to drive. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The strategic research and development compliance factor is distributed. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, biometrics are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to engage "intra-vertically"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "eyeballs". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will harness the term "frictionless". The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the capability to incubate transparently. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We will innovate the power of infrastructures to orchestrate. The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will recontextualize the aptitude of portals to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our aptitude to expedite. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to empower. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Think mega-virtual. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With one click? We will visualize the term "dynamic". If you upgrade super-holistically, you may have to cultivate holistically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be one-to-one? We will integrate the ability of e-businesses to exploit. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We will scale the term "killer". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. At Shai Gen Inc., we have come to know how to whiteboard magnetically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to grow efficiently. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be end-to-end, open-source? What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capacity to drive. We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also deliver perfectly. If you visualize micro-efficiently, you may have to productize seamlessly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-purposing. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "schemas". Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customer-directed, fractal 24/7/365 cross-platform convergence management but our capability to strategize. We have proven we know that if you brand vertically then you may also facilitate extensibly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? We have come to know that if you productize globally then you may also enable virally. Without sufficient next-generation, reality-based robust versioning, channels are forced to become dynamic. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks, value-added, cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge media sourcing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to monetize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. Think social-network-based. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.