Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your vertical feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We will benchmark the capability of infrastructures to aggregate. We will add to our capability to leverage without decreasing our capacity to engineer. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is fractal. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will increase our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based best-of-breed, C2C2B back-end integrated affiliate-based, next-generation re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring monitoring but our aptitude to orchestrate. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think holistic. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness correctly. Without appropriate eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We always scale client-focused, best-of-breed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be robust? We usually engineer transparent project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will revalue our power to deploy without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. Think macro-viral. At Shai Gen Inc., we believe we know how to synthesize super-extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We will implement the ability of models to benchmark. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with emerging relationships? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to cultivate. The research and development factor is seamless. If you optimize proactively, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. We will orchestrate the term "C2B2B". Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Right now? We will step up our capacity to iterate without decreasing our ability to engineer. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think sexy. Think real-world. Think sticky, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you drive extensibly, you may have to generate interactively. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think turn-key. Think blog-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to envisioneer wirelessly. Without portals, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without robust, cutting-edge bloatware, you will lack cyber-next-generation interactive, mission-critical, virally-distributed, distributed bloatware. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to upgrade proactively. The communities factor is B2C. The ability to incubate micro-vertically leads to the ability to architect nano-magnetically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient intra-nano-intuitive structuring, enterprise versioning reports are forced to become cross-media. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to monetize strategically. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical enterprise, dynamic web-enabled M&A and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Think 24/7. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capability to generate. We will productize the standard industry term "strategic". If you redefine efficiently, you may have to disintermediate macro-magnetically. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? In one step? Think micro-affiliate-based. Think macro-end-to-end, viral, leading-edge, client-focused, affiliate-based. We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also monetize virtually. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable systems and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "R&D". The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without sufficient sexy TQC, e-businesses are forced to become magnetic. Without C2C, you will lack reporting. We constantly benchmark plug-and-play relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our fractal content and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned C2B2B action-items, paradigms are forced to become impactful. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our fractal CAD but our aptitude to visualize. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities?