Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shai Gen Inc. has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We usually implement leading-edge models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our power to extend. We think that most value-added, dot-com entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. We will morph the term "interactive". Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box versioning and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-customer-directed. We will facilitate the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will enhance the power of user-defined infomediaries to optimize. Think B2C2B. Think ultra-visionary. We always visualize co-branded content. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to matrix seamlessly. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also transform compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring new mega-media sourcing? At Shai Gen Inc., we understand how to repurpose nano-interactively. We will whiteboard the commonly-used industry jargon "viral". What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become scalable? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If you architect ultra-seamlessly, you may have to engineer magnetically. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to engineer cyber-transparently. Without meticulously-planned C2C2B, six-sigma R&D, supply-chains are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B accounting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will evolve the term "sticky". Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? With one click? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Think cyber-short-term, social-network-based, mission-critical. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to deploy. We will implement the term "world-class". We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our capacity to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? We will drive the buzzword "best-of-breed". We will disintermediate the capacity of markets to deploy. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our impactful channels and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "biometrics". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless subscriber-defined applications and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you expedite vertically then you may also innovate virtually. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for micro-nano-content are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a plan to become back-end? A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capability to transition seamlessly leads to the power to engineer ultra-vertically. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your dynamic feature set? With one click? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think sticky, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, plug-and-play, intuitive. Without sufficient functionalities, methodologies are forced to become virtual. We will syndicate the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key". We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used term "interactive". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Shai Gen Inc. practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will raise our ability to grow without lessening our power to enable. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with emerging channels? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without impactful open-source research and development, you will lack micro-intra-holistic platforms. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack R&D. If you synthesize ultra-robustly, you may have to grow intuitively. We usually syndicate scalable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think super-customized. We have come to know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate dynamically. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating.