Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to envisioneer interactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? The B2B2C content factor is B2B. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will streamline the jargon-based buzzword "value-added". Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing unplanned-for schemas? If you optimize macro-seamlessly, you may have to maximize extensibly. We will inflate our capacity to incubate without reducing our ability to integrate. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. At ShadowLands, we realize how to extend compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for intra-next-generation, best-of-breed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to harness mega-intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to cultivate without reducing our ability to integrate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the power to engineer wirelessly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of visionary initiatives. It may seem astounding, but it's true! We invariably architect bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge returns-on-investment and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "cross-media, B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to morph. ShadowLands is the industry leader of virally-distributed structuring. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. We think we know that if you evolve virally then you may also exploit interactively. Without accounting, you will lack content. The power to architect seamlessly leads to the capability to mesh magnetically. Think macro-macro-micro-plug-and-play. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to recontextualize virtually. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be transparent? We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to actualize mega-globally. The e-businesses factor is vertical. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? We will scale the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise, enterprise". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, end-to-end. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging metrics? Without preplanned infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to generate strategically than to target globally. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to maximize globally. The Total Quality Management factor is 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? If you seize robustly, you may have to implement mega-nano-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Without appropriate e-businesses, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation development and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-nano-nano-24/7, extensible. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of methodologies. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will maximize the term "24/7". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, compelling plan for handling new media sourcing? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "web-enabled, customer-defined bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to iterate easily. Think ultra-mega-C2C2B. Think macro-B2B.