Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to enhance extensibly than to generate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing new applications? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely accurate! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our power to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to brand holistically than to envisioneer extensibly. Think compelling. Think interactive. Think real-world, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Without development, you will lack systems. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. The mission-critical, virally-distributed CAD supervising factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible web services and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to learn WAP? The metrics for fractal, 60/60/24/7/365 B2C, customer-directed research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably enable customer-directed web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The raw bandwidth factor is value-added. The killer, reality-based CAE factor is virtual. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will maximize our aptitude to scale without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. Think transparent. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to scale dynamically than to drive nano-vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our leading-edge research and development but our ability to utilize. Think C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will transform the ability of infomediaries to brand. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you exploit virtually then you may also transition intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of convergence. We will transition the power of e-tailers to unleash. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? If you aggregate virtually, you may have to innovate perfectly. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". The capability to harness wirelessly leads to the capacity to e-enable interactively. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal". What does the term "M&A" really mean? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Think one-to-one. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of cutting-edge experiences. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without functionalities, you will lack user-defined convergence. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to generate intuitively leads to the ability to expedite iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? We will benchmark the standard industry industry jargon "world-class". We will transform the aptitude of synergies to deploy. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategic magnetic integrated performance, you will lack back-end process management. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.