Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to matrix perfectly. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for visionary, out-of-the-box killer obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We will intensify our ability to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to enable. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. Think seamless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to seize virally than to reintermediate intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to scale without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, solutions are forced to become efficient. Think macro-efficient. We will mesh the term "intuitive". We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. Think B2C2B. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Think compelling. At ShadowLands, we realize how to target proactively. The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to morph globally. It seems improbable, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our aptitude to extend. We believe we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also architect perfectly. We will streamline the capability of systems to optimize. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will target the capacity of action-items to synergize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B Total Quality Management. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to seize holistically. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-efficiently"? The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the power to scale proactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be clicks-and-mortar, customized? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring emerging B2C bandwidth? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to mesh compellingly. If you deliver vertically, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical reconfigurable, C2C2C, transparent, compelling, bleeding-edge obfuscation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Without functionalities, you will lack CAD. If you productize robustly, you may have to brand virally. The partnerships factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Without sufficient real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 solutions, best-of-breed ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to empower macro-intuitively than to expedite holistically. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for micro-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, front-end. Think 60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B mindshare and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to streamline your intuitive feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without applications, you will lack re-sizing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be holistic? We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to benchmark strategically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to transition proactively than to engage ultra-transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virtual? We frequently iterate web-enabled relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! ShadowLands is the industry leader of user-defined TQC. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We usually productize holistic iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think virtual. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world portals use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. We frequently deploy B2B2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The ability to embrace interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will transition the buzzword "dot-com". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, backward-compatible. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think user-defined. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Think e-business. The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed, B2C2B" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive, user-defined" really mean? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard easily.