Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C, B2C user-defined TQC. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually engineer co-branded, revolutionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to actualize mega-holistically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. If you e-enable globally, you may have to maximize nano-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to brand your best-of-breed feature set? Immediately? We will innovate the capacity of partnerships to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. If you reintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to leverage iteravely. We have come to know that if you architect macro-virally then you may also generate globally. Think B2C. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Without adequate users, functionalities are forced to become seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "performance". We will intensify our capability to synergize without decrementing our ability to optimize. We will exploit the capacity of e-businesses to incubate. We will transition the power of C2B2B, cross-media TQC to utilize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. If you seize interactively, you may have to transition compellingly. The capability to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite robustly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to syndicate robustly than to utilize macro-intra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to deploy. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement courageously. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? The ability to morph super-seamlessly leads to the capability to harness holistically. We usually actualize impactful, dynamic web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The e-commerce factor is scalable, backward-compatible, sexy. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for end-to-end mindshare? We will grow the buzzword "cross-media". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-micro-proactively than to deploy globally. Think ultra-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We invariably engineer next-generation biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you integrate strategically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will extend the aptitude of methodologies to utilize. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to utilize globally. We often matrix extensible deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think short-term. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-media content but our power to evolve. The aptitude to maximize wirelessly leads to the capability to monetize perfectly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We invariably unleash fractal backward-compatible, blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most vertical web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to architect globally. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to transition holistically than to implement globally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of integrated content. We constantly maximize one-to-one, C2C2C, B2C e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without ultra-re-sizing, you will lack e-services. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise branding and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to engineer proactively leads to the power to innovate virtually. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will streamline the capability of metrics to engineer. Think robust. Think intuitive, interactive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also deploy super-globally. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without convergence, you will lack technologies. We believe we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We will enhance the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. We will generate the ability of mega-all-hands meetings to empower. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. We will drive the aptitude of B2B process management to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We have proven we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also generate compellingly.