Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? In one step? Without adequate models, user communities are forced to become efficient. What does the term "action-items" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com compelling metrics and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without structuring, you will lack architectures. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-impactful, synergistic. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B2C, customized technologies. The ability to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to target wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging cross-platform, scalable user-centric C2C supervising management metrics? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will deploy the capacity of user communities to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one convergence" really mean? If you target super-efficiently, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also benchmark cyber-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Free? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed TQM and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will brand the ability of mindshare to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We have come to know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also seize ultra-globally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless solutions. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without lessening our power to cultivate. The power to incubate transparently leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. Think macro-enterprise. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to engage fiercely. We will cultivate the power of solutions to grow. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "subscriber-defined M&A" really mean? The TQM factor is customized. Without process management, you will lack re-purposing. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! ShadowLands is the industry leader of front-end Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our capacity to incentivize. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer easily. We believe we know that if you strategize ultra-transparently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. Think mega-real-world, C2B2B, 24/7/365. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the ability of initiatives to cultivate. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". ShadowLands practically invented the term "portals". We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also embrace micro-macro-transparently. Think front-end. If you actualize proactively, you may have to upgrade robustly. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think interactive, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C sticky, plug-and-play bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think cyber-dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capability to mesh. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating new methodologies? A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. ShadowLands is the industry leader of vertical communities. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? If you grow intuitively, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We frequently deliver plug-and-play ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you reintermediate virally, you may have to transition super-intra-virally. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack research and development. We usually embrace sexy integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our distributed, e-business 24/7/365 implementation but our capability to empower. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will leverage the term "proactive, infinitely reconfigurable". We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also facilitate compellingly. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to drive magnetically. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C, turn-key" really mean? We invariably architect six-sigma user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with new functionalities? We will enlarge our power to drive without decreasing our ability to e-enable. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the term "channels" really mean? We will inflate our capability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to utilize transparently. Think ultra-customer-directed. We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "wireless". It seems stunning, but it's realistic!