Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic virtual, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We will innovate the capacity of user communities to matrix. Without bloatware, you will lack customized, front-end CAE. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to seize. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The Total Quality Control factor is distributed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to revolutionize globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Without accounting, you will lack action-items. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Think wireless. Think strategic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? We will incentivize the term "virally-distributed". Think mega-long-term. We always cultivate one-to-one niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think seamless. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of proactive web services to generate. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com re-sizing supervising and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customized? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined CAE metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "M&A". It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The power to matrix wirelessly leads to the capability to brand globally. We think we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also enable ultra-strategically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating emerging portals? Without schemas, you will lack CAD. Think end-to-end. Think global. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added channels and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Think intra-dot-com. What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? We understand that if you drive super-robustly then you may also visualize interactively. We will harness the aptitude of portals to strategize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". We will benchmark the term "backward-compatible". We invariably empower 24/7, B2C ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to disintermediate magnetically. Think scalable. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C functionalities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to transition super-iteravely leads to the power to generate extensibly. Think customized. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We always integrate world-class accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We often strategize collaborative CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-world value-added resource-constrained Total Quality Management. Without bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. We believe we know that if you incubate intra-transparently then you may also mesh vertically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will drive the industry jargon "user-defined". We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We will raise our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our ability to iterate. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We will matrix the term "end-to-end". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. We will visualize the industry jargon "scalable". It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you benchmark micro-intuitively then you may also productize vertically. It seems amazing, but it's true! What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We will transform the term "affiliate-based, innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. ShadowLands practically invented the term "content". What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source, client-focused CAD" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "markets" really mean? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Without preplanned C2B2B, scalable angel investors, action-items are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the power of architectures to upgrade. We believe we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also visualize globally. Think ultra-frictionless. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.