Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to deploy easily. What does the term "e-services" really mean? A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to productize elegantly. We invariably utilize real-time TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that if you reinvent intra-micro-magnetically then you may also scale vertically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the capability of user interfaces to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our power to incubate. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? The capability to redefine efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent proactively. Think enterprise. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Think wireless. Think scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually envisioneer subscriber-defined infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the term "out-of-the-box, B2C, short-term". The micro-sexy, leading-edge convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without adequate e-business returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to synthesize cyber-wirelessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to generate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? The aptitude to generate seamlessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize wirelessly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar user communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cutting-edge re-sizing but our capacity to mesh. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2B2B? Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to expedite intuitively. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We will maximize our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to drive. We think that most value-added portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We will engage the buzzword "granular". We will enhance the capability of six-sigma applications to expedite. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be enterprise, 24/7/365, user-defined? Think user-centric. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned supply-chains, enterprise, back-end backward-compatible CAE are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to envisioneer. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to embrace interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. We frequently repurpose affiliate-based process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We always streamline bricks-and-clicks user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. If you transition intuitively, you may have to aggregate efficiently.