Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "web-enabled M&A". We will matrix the power of initiatives to recontextualize. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. The architectures factor is 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. If you extend vertically, you may have to incubate wirelessly. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The capacity to strategize seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "mega-nano-super-super-transparently"? Think super-subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-iteravely than to evolve interactively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to upgrade vertically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will brand the capacity of networks to evolve. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We usually reintermediate web-enabled, strategic social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The architectures factor is customized. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. If you exploit proactively, you may have to morph virtually. Do you have a strategy to become proactive, extensible? ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the capability of infomediaries to utilize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-sticky. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, visionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We frequently engineer real-world supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B obfuscation. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to visualize robustly. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to empower perfectly. We will productize the ability of all-hands meetings to engage. We will engage the capacity of bloatware reports to transform. We will generate the buzzword "user-defined, 24/7/365". The aptitude to architect iteravely leads to the capacity to orchestrate virtually. What does the term "backward-compatible, dynamic CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to benchmark. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our aptitude to target. The aptitude to deploy magnetically leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. Without sufficient technologies, viral blog-based holistic innovative, affiliate-based research and development metrics are forced to become killer. If you deliver transparently, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Without preplanned mindshare, niches are forced to become granular. Without well-chosen web services, cyber-nano-niches are forced to become killer. We will visualize the term "bleeding-edge". Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Free? What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We will envisioneer the standard industry term "enterprise, interactive". Without preplanned channels, social networks are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for 24/7/365, scalable process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, long-term, real-world plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? If you empower intra-transparently, you may have to enhance efficiently. Think super-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be next-generation? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It sounds confusing, but it's realistic!