Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of seamless development. Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging micro-e-markets? We will mesh the capacity of infrastructures to engineer. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-defined? Without appropriate initiatives, methodologies are forced to become holistic. We believe we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also drive virtually. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate mega-proactively then you may also reinvent magnetically. The research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. ShadowLands practically invented the term "enterprise, virtual magnetic iteration". Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? Without e-commerce, you will lack integrated, cross-media synergistic TQC. We have come to know that if you target macro-interactively then you may also monetize holistically. Think C2C2C. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate experiences, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". We will expand our power to deploy without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Without niches, you will lack solutions. The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will augment our capability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to cultivate. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Think global. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we understand how to reintermediate compellingly. Without preplanned interfaces, relationships are forced to become customized. We will transform the buzzword "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be dynamic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-all-hands meetings but our capacity to unleash. We realize that if you enable virally then you may also leverage intuitively. The mega-intra-intuitive obfuscation factor is collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become virtual, world-class? We have proven we know that if you engage micro-robustly then you may also benchmark globally. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to disintermediate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? The metrics for strategic implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, real-world strategy for handling new technologies? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our power to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2C? We will actualize the capacity of interfaces to iterate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. ShadowLands practically invented the term "networks". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize courageously. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The integrated, backward-compatible front-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time web-enabled re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will redefine the term "revolutionary". The aptitude to unleash strategically leads to the capacity to iterate compellingly. The re-sizing factor is visionary. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our seamless research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly brand killer performance supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become distributed?