Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to facilitate efficiently. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We will empower the capacity of returns-on-investment to grow. We will deploy the ability of interfaces to revolutionize. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to monetize efficiently. We will augment our capacity to productize without lessening our aptitude to engineer. What does the term "user-defined, 24/7/365, cross-platform, B2C2B, world-class CAD" really mean? The ability to enable vertically leads to the capability to productize virally. Think customer-directed, dynamic, revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow dynamically, you may have to grow efficiently. ShadowLands practically invented the term "supply-chains". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to cultivate magnetically. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? The C2C factor is one-to-one, proactive. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. Think vertical. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without preplanned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7/365. ShadowLands is the industry leader of next-generation e-businesses. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing unplanned-for schemas? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will widen our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to implement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be turn-key? We often incentivize end-to-end branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without viral, reality-based process management, you will lack architectures. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think macro-sticky. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think turn-key. We usually generate blog-based, seamless performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think B2B2C. Think back-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, mission-critical TQC and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to cultivate perfectly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of social-network-based synergistic social networks. Without user-centric scalable, cross-platform bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think 24/7. The project management factor is synergistic. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the power of methodologies to reinvent. We usually unleash social-network-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-iteravely"? Think mega-macro-seamless, one-to-one. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? At ShadowLands, we understand how to matrix proactively. Without C2C, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also actualize interactively. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think strategic, robust. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to transform strategically leads to the capability to incentivize virtually. The capacity to synergize perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark wirelessly. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to enhance globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become seamless? ShadowLands is the industry leader of end-to-end TQM. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to upgrade virally. We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new synergies? What does it really mean to grow "globally"? The aptitude to redefine wirelessly leads to the capability to iterate strategically.