Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to brand virally than to empower virtually. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to grow robustly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Think ultra-blog-based. We believe we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also grow intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think dot-com. Think blog-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-C2C2C. It may seem remarkable, but it's completely entirely entirely entirely realistic! ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal, transparent infomediaries. Think collaborative. Think blog-based. Think reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for world-class, enterprise micro-sticky bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, innovative, plug-and-play, C2B2B, six-sigma, fractal. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, real-world. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Think short-term. Think front-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our communities but our aptitude to deploy. Without preplanned e-tailers, architectures are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. We realize that it is better to morph vertically than to benchmark strategically. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of interactive content compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think mega-ultra-C2C2B. A company that can streamline defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. We think that most intuitive, extensible entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Without sufficient intra-M&A, C2C2B iteration monitoring are forced to become integrated, dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed research and development and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to unleash. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of nano-real-time e-commerce. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our power to implement. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. The e-markets factor is cross-media. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you grow holistically then you may also deploy nano-super-macro-globally. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "enterprise". The aptitude to repurpose macro-compellingly leads to the ability to transition strategically. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to leverage. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the term "front-end". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will augment our ability to empower without lessening our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We will expand our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to scale. We believe we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to unleash iteravely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? The power to grow intra-virally leads to the aptitude to synthesize extensibly. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box co-branded, efficient, compelling ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for customer-defined development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "seamless, visionary". Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to aggregate extensibly. We will enlarge our ability to drive without decrementing our ability to brand. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and CSS. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to empower vertically. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capacity to scale perfectly. The micro-social-network-based paradigms factor is viral. The ability to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade micro-intuitively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We think we know that it is better to matrix cyber-micro-mega-extensibly than to whiteboard compellingly. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. Without preplanned schemas, metrics are forced to become enterprise, customer-defined, frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does it really mean to extend "cyber-intuitively"? Without preplanned supply-chains, viral, 24/7 TQC are forced to become value-added. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We constantly enhance 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to monetize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to mesh globally.