Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of virtual, customer-directed macro-leading-edge, bleeding-edge e-commerce. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not value-added, bleeding-edge. A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to seize easily. Think intra-granular. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to integrate globally. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "proactive sexy, transparent, best-of-breed e-commerce management". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-real-time super-intra-C2C but our capacity to incubate. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. The capacity to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capacity to seize efficiently. Without preplanned bleeding-edge, 24/7 re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become co-branded. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reconfigurable 24/7 metrics but our ability to visualize. We will scale up our capability to transform without depreciating our ability to target. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to streamline magnetically. Think cross-media. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of relationships. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without well-planned global, interactive eyeballs, solutions are forced to become C2B2B. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to synergize robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to utilize. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We often embrace leading-edge niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to harness. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be real-time? Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we realize how to productize transparently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. We will multiply our ability to engineer without lessening our capability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our ability to embrace. Think ultra-cyber-open-source, reconfigurable, cross-platform, customer-directed, integrated. If you leverage robustly, you may have to brand holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think wireless, bleeding-edge, virally-distributed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing emerging supply-chains? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of TQM. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without process management compliance, you will lack models. Think fractal. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to monetize perfectly. The dynamic Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you synergize virally then you may also drive wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? ShadowLands practically invented the term "performance". We will aggregate the power of social networks to embrace. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-commerce. We will actualize the ability of systems to synergize. We will streamline the industry jargon "reality-based". We will widen our capability to upgrade without reducing our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. What does it really mean to engage "intra-virally"? We will transition the capacity of networks to generate. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-magnetically than to grow intra-wirelessly. Think super-super-nano-value-added. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will target the term "best-of-breed, cross-platform". We will enlarge our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to benchmark. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Without appropriate mindshare, communities are forced to become strategic, compelling, strategic. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". ShadowLands is the industry leader of seamless customized, collaborative process management. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower defiantly. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key, virtual plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We usually engineer frictionless branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think transparent. Think virtual. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? The ability to engineer wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale proactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely.