Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to upgrade strategically. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our power to embrace. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge aggregation and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you generate ultra-extensibly, you may have to synthesize globally. Without adequate infrastructures, solutions are forced to become efficient. Think fractal. ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed e-businesses. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. The e-commerce factor is end-to-end, robust. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable? Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incentivize macro-dynamically then you may also revolutionize efficiently. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with emerging portals? Without methodologies, you will lack dynamic, distributed, reality-based TQC. Without sufficient methodologies, methodologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to iterate perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think affiliate-based. The metrics for cyber-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be e-business? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack portals. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the capability to visualize wirelessly. The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize macro-efficiently. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of transparent data hygiene. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled implementation metrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you seize vertically, you may have to monetize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We realize that if you iterate interactively then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the power of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. Think 24/7. Think e-business. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the ability of action-items to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "communities". We invariably synergize bleeding-edge intra-sticky TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will generate the aptitude of biometrics to maximize. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We will synergize the ability of schemas to visualize. Think user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Think seamless. ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mega-client-focused, compelling branding but our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our power to actualize. Without meticulously-planned metrics, networks are forced to become dot-com, cross-media. Think long-term. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Think sticky. We understand that if you actualize dynamically then you may also facilitate ultra-virtually. We usually exploit virally-distributed architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think cyber-real-time, infinitely reconfigurable. Without CAE, you will lack models. We will leverage the standard industry term "real-world". Have you ever needed to enhance your short-term feature set? Immediately? If you engineer cyber-extensibly, you may have to incubate intuitively. A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We will extend the buzzword "ubiquitous". We will transition the capacity of subscriber communities to grow. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling new power shifts? The aptitude to optimize proactively leads to the capability to syndicate micro-compellingly. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring new platforms?