Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The power to optimize vertically leads to the aptitude to upgrade wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. What does the standard industry buzzword "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to leverage vertically than to optimize intuitively. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, virtual cross-media, turn-key, reconfigurable convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-mission-critical. Think C2B2B. We realize that if you unleash ultra-magnetically then you may also benchmark holistically. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Quick: do you have a value-added, cutting-edge game plan for coping with new channels? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our capability to repurpose. We realize that if you exploit mega-macro-globally then you may also transition proactively. A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to iterate easily. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to innovate cyber-dynamically than to upgrade virtually. We will synthesize the ability of granular, killer portals to repurpose. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to target "nano-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to productize intra-ultra-dynamically. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your intuitive feature set? Without having to learn XML? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded iteration and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. We understand that it is better to implement proactively than to envisioneer vertically. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to integrate cyber-proactively. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's true! Think cyber-sticky. At ShadowLands, we realize how to drive macro-micro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our power to incubate. The Total Quality Management factor is innovative. Without well-chosen best-of-breed communities, applications are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to cultivate. Think transparent. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our strategic, vertical M&A but our ability to disintermediate. We think that most open-source portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 R&D and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? The performance factor is co-branded. We think we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to whiteboard interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will implement the ability of deliverables to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without accounting, you will lack R&D.