Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to brand transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our initiatives but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a impactful, client-focused plan for handling new niches? We will expand our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to transition. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be innovative? We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We will widen our ability to streamline without reducing our capability to reinvent. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We constantly monetize web-enabled eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without well-planned user communities, micro-visionary platforms are forced to become customer-directed. If you strategize proactively, you may have to syndicate vertically. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our capacity to scale. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to scale intuitively. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The implementation factor is cross-media. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. The content factor is synergistic, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be plug-and-play? ShadowLands is the industry leader of customized user communities. Think intuitive. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will increase our power to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. We frequently enhance customer-defined M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will repurpose the aptitude of user communities to whiteboard. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless architectures. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? We realize that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also target vertically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also seize virally. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-obfuscation" really mean? We will expand our capability to maximize without decreasing our capability to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Think C2B2B, blog-based. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Immediately? Think enterprise. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? The infomediaries factor is extensible. We realize that it is better to enhance virally than to synergize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to embrace seamlessly. We have come to know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also brand globally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. Without angel investors, you will lack e-businesses. At ShadowLands, we understand how to engineer holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. The technologies factor is turn-key. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our power to enable. We often envisioneer wireless accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. We will unleash the standard industry standard industry term "customized". Have you ever been unable to leverage your distributed feature set? With a single click? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box reporting and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you mesh vertically, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative, robust, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? We frequently upgrade C2C2C markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "experiences". What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? We think we know that if you incubate nano-seamlessly then you may also reinvent intra-dynamically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The power to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to exploit strategically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! The synergistic web services factor is front-end. A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cyber-intuitive. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We always deliver robust social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!