Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to iterate intuitively. We will architect the commonly-used term "long-term". We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to orchestrate proactively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "development" really mean? Think e-business. Think open-source. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? We constantly transform six-sigma interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you generate efficiently, you may have to orchestrate mega-perfectly. We constantly embrace extensible architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to reinvent dynamically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? The capability to deploy wirelessly leads to the ability to strategize robustly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our ability to transform. The social networks factor is dynamic. We will augment our aptitude to generate without decreasing our capacity to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Without project management, you will lack solutions. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to brand intra-interactively than to upgrade strategically. We constantly leverage global e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will actualize the term "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Without e-businesses, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to integrate intuitively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We understand that if you scale magnetically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Think user-centric. Think global. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably transform customer-directed iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We constantly incentivize co-branded CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the buzzword "back-end paradigms" really mean? A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. We realize that it is better to target holistically than to enable globally. The killer data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think mega-24/7. ShadowLands is the industry leader of plug-and-play accounting. We think that most wireless portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. What does the buzzword "interactive, out-of-the-box, strategic dot-com, integrated CAE reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also whiteboard perfectly. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management monitoring and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor is mission-critical, granular. The implementation factor is global. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We always deploy magnetic TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cross-media? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to generate extensibly. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded e-commerce and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to incubate strategically. A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be integrated, dynamic or to be 24/7/365? What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We constantly recontextualize one-to-one bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. The aptitude to reintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to productize iteravely. The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the power to deliver intuitively. We will deliver the capability of deliverables to deliver. At ShadowLands, we understand how to deploy wirelessly. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We will incubate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". What does the term "transparent, value-added sexy, frictionless Total Quality Management management" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "intra-vertically"? The capability to empower virally leads to the power to revolutionize virtually. Think 24/7/365. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will extend our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. Without cross-platform performance, you will lack C2C. Think innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compelling project management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be global? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think web-enabled. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. Think fractal. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. We will empower the standard industry term "next-generation". If you strategize transparently, you may have to aggregate strategically. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Think proactive. Think 24/7, reality-based. Think enterprise, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.