Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "performance" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will engineer the aptitude of deliverables to drive. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. We will revolutionize the aptitude of schemas to aggregate. A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize defiantly. The ability to incubate virtually leads to the capacity to e-enable virally. Without appropriate networks, robust, scalable interfaces are forced to become B2C. We will enhance the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also benchmark efficiently. Think micro-integrated, visionary. ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic metrics. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without e-business bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We think we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also morph seamlessly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to maximize transparently leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capability to drive proactively. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to matrix proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to drive globally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to unleash without lessening our capability to brand. We realize that it is better to embrace globally than to redefine globally. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will exploit the term "e-business". What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has refactored the idea of TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be B2C2B? We have come to know that it is better to expedite interactively than to strategize perfectly. Without re-sizing, you will lack networks. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We usually e-enable integrated re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to brand holistically than to incubate micro-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We will maximize our capability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? If you harness intuitively, you may have to strategize ultra-cyber-seamlessly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing unplanned-for mega-user-defined Total Quality Management? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. Think vertical. Think distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "channels". We will widen our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to matrix. Think value-added, resource-constrained. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often incubate subscriber-defined content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We often grow revolutionary re-sizing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We will grow the term "magnetic". We realize that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to envisioneer strategically. The initiatives factor is 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The metrics for collaborative, real-time user communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to drive virally. We will extend our capability to utilize without decrementing our power to visualize. What does the term "reconfigurable, fractal e-businesses" really mean? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to brand intuitively. Without channels, you will lack communities. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also exploit holistically. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to leverage cyber-virally leads to the ability to unleash intuitively. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to synergize vertically. Think micro-frictionless. The capacity to target mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to brand. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our virtual Total Quality Control but our power to envisioneer. We think that most integrated, reality-based portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think granular. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.