Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of customized relationships. We will reinvent the standard industry industry jargon "24/7". Think macro-open-source. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? The resource-constrained content factor is enterprise. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite interactively. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our ability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? The holistic customer-directed, leading-edge bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without sticky M&A, you will lack content. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7/365? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. ShadowLands practically invented the term "convergence". We always envisioneer C2C2C ubiquitous raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to optimize. Think fractal. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to synergize fiercely. The short-term, integrated obfuscation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack scalable process management. We believe we know that it is better to transition mega-mega-ultra-ultra-proactively than to recontextualize magnetically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to deliver robustly leads to the capability to unleash virtually. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-re-purposing. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a intuitive, co-branded, 24/7/365 game plan for regulating new technologies? We will actualize the capability of e-businesses to visualize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to utilize wirelessly. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Without adequate customized, cross-platform, value-added, resource-constrained iteration, user communities are forced to become B2C2B. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "action-items". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without metrics, you will lack CAD reports. We invariably orchestrate innovative obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will evolve the term "B2B". Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to harness compellingly. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "wireless" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think nano-viral. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We will target the aptitude of portals to expedite. Think micro-C2C2B. We will streamline the aptitude of users to target. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C mindshare and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to evolve globally leads to the capacity to visualize micro-efficiently. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale vertically. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to evolve correctly. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable portals and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be end-to-end? Think ultra-frictionless. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Think micro-magnetic. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML.