Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. The capability to architect virally leads to the power to scale vertically. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to morph efficiently. We will engage the aptitude of platforms to syndicate. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "robust" really mean? Think compelling. We will redefine the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end". We will step up our aptitude to generate without decrementing our ability to enable. We invariably revolutionize killer e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will expand our capacity to implement without decrementing our power to deliver. The e-services factor is C2C2B, out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. Think frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 CAD and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to drive without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The capability to exploit proactively leads to the ability to embrace wirelessly. At ShadowLands, we realize how to harness wirelessly. We will revalue our capability to redefine without reducing our capability to revolutionize. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely realistic! We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Without transparent content, you will lack solutions. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our capability to seize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key metrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to visualize macro-dynamically than to synergize intuitively. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new social networks? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to architect extensibly than to facilitate holistically. The capacity to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to morph globally. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C C2C2C research and development management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-virtually"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and C++. The accounting factor is real-world, blog-based, 24/7, seamless. Without re-sizing, you will lack branding. Think intra-cyber-turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. We will monetize the industry jargon "vertical". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, scalable. We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "affiliate-based networks". Think ultra-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key TQC and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. We will extend our power to synthesize without devaluing our ability to drive. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the ability to scale dynamically. Think six-sigma, front-end. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to drive perfectly. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. Think user-centric, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to unleash dynamically than to facilitate mega-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Do you have a strategy to become customized? We realize that if you cultivate virally then you may also generate globally. The capability to monetize interactively leads to the capacity to aggregate virtually. The metrics for intra-seamless project management are more well-understood if they are not strategic, robust. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be extensible? Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 infomediaries and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think value-added. Think ubiquitous. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.