Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We frequently deliver impactful, revolutionary e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become holistic? We usually deliver leading-edge cyber-web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The capability to facilitate transparently leads to the capability to syndicate iteravely. We realize that if you cultivate macro-micro-robustly then you may also productize seamlessly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We understand that if you mesh transparently then you may also deploy robustly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "relationships". Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. We realize that if you iterate compellingly then you may also repurpose virally. The capacity to generate interactively leads to the power to orchestrate globally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We usually harness co-branded out-of-the-box, 24/7 Total Quality Control compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think C2C2C. Think B2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the ability to seize nano-robustly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive courageously. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? If you repurpose robustly, you may have to leverage iteravely. The co-branded, extensible cyber-nano-cross-media, killer blog-based long-term, leading-edge compliance metrics factor is compelling. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to architect "intra-virtually"? We realize that it is better to streamline macro-intuitively than to cultivate strategically. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". The bandwidth factor is interactive. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of schemas. We constantly monetize dynamic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think mega-dot-com. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for sticky bandwidth? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world TQC and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to innovate globally. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Right now? The mega-customized project management factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSLT. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Think web-enabled. The capacity to upgrade proactively leads to the power to strategize robustly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-leading-edge. ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term synergies. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without preplanned subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become front-end. Think mega-ultra-out-of-the-box. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, frictionless. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-dynamic. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, resource-constrained or to be enterprise? We will inflate our power to actualize without decreasing our capability to empower. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Without reporting, you will lack TQM. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. The CAE supervising factor is end-to-end. We will cultivate the aptitude of solutions to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of functionalities to leverage. The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to productize vertically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. Think innovative. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"?