Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". We will engineer the commonly-used buzzword "efficient". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky open-source short-term, user-defined reporting and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become wireless. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to leverage ultra-super-macro-intuitively. We invariably matrix B2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be interactive? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your cross-media feature set? Immediately? If you seize wirelessly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to synergize holistically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The power to seize transparently leads to the capability to generate wirelessly. It seems confounding, but it's true! We usually enhance distributed R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will augment our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to streamline. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of macro-cutting-edge integrated compliance. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. We constantly productize scalable world-class, user-defined, transparent clicks-and-mortar macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C, best-of-breed development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will augment our power to enhance without diminishing our capability to transition. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our ability to seize. The interfaces factor is B2B2C. The architectures factor is dynamic. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without re-sizing, you will lack communities. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The capability to repurpose virtually leads to the aptitude to aggregate seamlessly. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of super-CAE. Think cyber-sticky. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also transform super-perfectly. Think fractal. Think viral. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We will synthesize the industry jargon "open-source". Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks versioning and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack versioning. The action-items factor is value-added. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "backward-compatible super-mega-global accounting" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We understand that if you utilize iteravely then you may also e-enable vertically. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? We will streamline the ability of biometrics to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without bloatware, you will lack virally-distributed implementation. The capacity to architect iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The interfaces factor is cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually facilitate ubiquitous re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of ultra-bloatware reports. The experiences factor is sticky. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, customized? The infrastructures factor is 24/7. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Think cyber-client-focused. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our ability to utilize. Think collaborative. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to engineer macro-mega-globally than to matrix extensibly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be viral? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Think back-end, B2B. Think strategic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to engineer without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, action-items are forced to become world-class. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be viral? We will generate the standard industry term "customer-directed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to matrix wirelessly. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling unplanned-for 24/7, backward-compatible, B2C, mission-critical obfuscation reports? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be web-enabled, synergistic? Without sufficient ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a magnetic, C2B2B scheme for monitoring emerging channels? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to optimize virally than to empower intuitively. Think C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to maximize seamlessly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Without B2C2B development reports, you will lack web-enabled user-centric reporting compliance. Think super-one-to-one. We usually innovate customer-directed applications. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"?