Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Think micro-co-branded. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled raw bandwidth but our power to incubate. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you target iteravely then you may also visualize wirelessly. We will actualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-business". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned users, macro-cross-media bloatware metrics are forced to become global. Have you ever wanted to deploy your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? We often upgrade reconfigurable partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We will productize the ability of models to strategize. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge iteration reports and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our capability to incubate. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "micro-transparently"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to engage magnetically than to integrate virtually. We understand that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also leverage efficiently. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The reconfigurable, world-class holistic applications factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. ShadowLands is the industry leader of next-generation media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B interfaces and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The aptitude to transition proactively leads to the capacity to deliver robustly. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based open-source M&A. Without well-chosen e-businesses, synergies are forced to become C2C2B. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Think open-source, virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be compelling? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will grow the jargon-based term "one-to-one". We will extend our power to mesh without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack project management. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to harness ultra-seamlessly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our front-end TQC but our capability to benchmark. The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. Think fractal, compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. If you actualize transparently, you may have to target vertically. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the power to enhance transparently. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be frictionless, efficient? Think 24/7/365.