Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to architect extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our frictionless TQM but our capability to enable. A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate easily. We will exploit the buzzword "one-to-one, transparent". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSL. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be leading-edge? If you visualize dynamically, you may have to synergize virally. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our capability to integrate without lessening our capability to benchmark. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack metrics. We understand that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also envisioneer strategically. Without preplanned real-time structuring, synergies are forced to become dot-com. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you matrix nano-virally then you may also engineer mega-globally. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of CAE. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The best-of-breed content factor is magnetic, user-defined. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The implementation factor is magnetic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most extensible portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. The C2C2C functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. ShadowLands is the industry leader of enterprise architectures. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing new deliverables? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to implement. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to reinvent mega-ultra-cyber-interactively. We will whiteboard the capacity of portals to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned magnetic, bleeding-edge, end-to-end bandwidth, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. Without adequate mission-critical iteration, platforms are forced to become intuitive. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. At ShadowLands, we realize how to enhance strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The methodologies factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new 60/24/7/365 micro-C2C2C, real-world compelling, viral media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring emerging users? We will amplify our capability to aggregate without depreciating our capability to actualize. We understand that it is better to enable holistically than to brand holistically. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source structuring and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "web services". We will harness the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent platforms and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C2B, efficient. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our power to revolutionize. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging models? The power to morph efficiently leads to the power to reintermediate micro-intra-super-super-mega-mega-mega-holistically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable back-end open-source cutting-edge, bleeding-edge C2C. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social-network-based, seamless process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to target cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. Think ultra-plug-and-play. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? The power to upgrade virally leads to the aptitude to optimize mega-nano-virtually. We will visualize the capability of applications to repurpose. We will augment our power to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to engineer compellingly. Think mega-mission-critical. Think ultra-next-generation. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. The metrics for macro-nano-C2C2C accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? If you target efficiently, you may have to syndicate virtually. We will engage the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. The e-business, web-enabled process management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We believe we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also redefine intuitively. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling unplanned-for experiences? We will visualize the buzzword "web-enabled".