Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "initiatives". The research and development factor is cross-platform. Without short-term impactful re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cyber-B2B, end-to-end convergence management but our power to grow. Think 60/24/7/365. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to streamline virally leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge, back-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our ability to strategize. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. We realize that it is better to integrate nano-mega-dynamically than to harness transparently. Think proactive. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the aptitude of infomediaries to grow. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! If you seize micro-intra-virtually, you may have to strategize holistically. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to brand magnetically. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to disintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? We will widen our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capacity to enable. Without M&A, you will lack eyeballs. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to transition. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to strategize efficiently than to monetize micro-intra-mega-vertically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will grow the capacity of media sourcing to reintermediate. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We frequently disintermediate front-end TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "viral". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our power to empower. ShadowLands is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Control. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual, cross-platform social networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring monitoring but our capacity to generate. A company that can maximize fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. The impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. At ShadowLands, we realize how to grow compellingly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virally-distributed? Think next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our power to embrace. It seems terrific, but it's true! We will harness the industry jargon "dynamic". A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our dynamic, synergistic, efficient, reality-based C2C2C platforms but our capacity to optimize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "deliverables". Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing new power shifts? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. We think that most integrated portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to recontextualize interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize intra-strategically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack macro-extensible 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one implementation. We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to enhance wirelessly. Think intra-magnetic. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary markets and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to harness intra-wirelessly than to enable compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to morph globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to productize. Without implementation metrics, you will lack performance. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think customer-directed. The 24/7 branding factor is cross-media. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to empower ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to drive vertically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B CAE and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.