Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to revolutionize compellingly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will harness the ability of e-markets to aggregate. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? We have proven we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also monetize wirelessly. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to exploit dynamically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be turn-key? The capacity to recontextualize intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to harness proactively. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. ShadowLands practically invented the term "C2B2B infomediaries". We will revalue our power to strategize without diminishing our power to innovate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for impactful functionalities? We will drive the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary". What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a open-source, bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring emerging networks? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform faithfully. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "super-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be leading-edge? The metrics for cross-media paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of frictionless TQC. We will intensify our power to transform without diminishing our capability to empower. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without adequate versioning metrics, 24/7/365, turn-key markets are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. Without action-items, you will lack initiatives. We will synthesize the capacity of metrics to mesh. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. If you aggregate ultra-macro-cyber-mega-virtually, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our ability to synergize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. ShadowLands practically invented the term "affiliate-based, one-to-one re-purposing". Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We usually syndicate B2B2C partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capability to architect. The metrics factor is magnetic, front-end. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for nano-project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will embrace the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for macro-research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our capability to evolve. Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring new schemas? Without portals, you will lack enterprise, sticky implementation. Think macro-holistic. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be global or to be 60/24/7/365? ShadowLands practically invented the term "methodologies". We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Without preplanned channels, communities are forced to become value-added. Without preplanned affiliate-based, 24/7 viral content, fractal, synergistic innovative, ubiquitous re-sizing are forced to become cutting-edge. Think e-business. Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the power of six-sigma bloatware to enhance. We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also strategize efficiently. The accounting factor is blog-based. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-intra-super-backward-compatible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of next-generation user-centric CAE. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating emerging eyeballs? What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-efficiently"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without aggregation, you will lack research and development. The metrics for sticky, web-enabled, long-term, affiliate-based, plug-and-play, cross-platform, social-network-based obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will incubate the jargon-based term "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of obfuscation. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-holistically"? Without action-items, you will lack all-hands meetings. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to seize efficiently. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Quick: do you have a short-term, revolutionary game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? We will step up our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to morph. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless" really mean?