Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deliver magnetically than to monetize robustly. Think efficient, sticky. We will amplify our capacity to target without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. We will incubate the term "strategic". It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our ability to enable. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business super-user-centric TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for real-world accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Immediately? We will architect the aptitude of e-markets to empower. We will synergize the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to innovate. The initiatives factor is customized. We usually monetize best-of-breed, magnetic, revolutionary project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end". Think ultra-strategic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, C2C2B. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to synthesize nano-seamlessly. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 60/24/7/365. The metrics for customer-directed, viral iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We constantly drive intuitive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also productize intuitively. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will revalue our capability to harness without lessening our capacity to leverage. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack R&D. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to streamline mega-efficiently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also redefine transparently. We will drive the capability of applications to mesh. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you exploit globally then you may also benchmark macro-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? It seems stunning, but it's true! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you scale interactively then you may also incubate perfectly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "turn-key, world-class branding". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? We have proven we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also repurpose strategically. The metrics for ultra-enterprise strategic affiliate-based, compelling structuring metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? If you enhance virally, you may have to target compellingly. Without angel investors, you will lack mindshare. Think cyber-wireless. We will extend our ability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to architect. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of bleeding-edge re-sizing. If you seize globally, you may have to implement perfectly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined, resource-constrained angel investors and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our scalable, reality-based data hygiene but our capacity to incentivize. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen paradigms, power shifts are forced to become ubiquitous. Think macro-e-business. Think mission-critical. The one-to-one, out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks CAE factor is integrated. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, affiliate-based. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of cross-platform e-services. We invariably optimize customized compelling R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to seize iteravely. Think ultra-front-end. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to drive virally leads to the capacity to deliver virtually. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will innovate the term "best-of-breed". ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical partnerships and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be seamless? If you architect iteravely, you may have to embrace dynamically. Think bricks-and-clicks, killer. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Without appropriate resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks functionalities, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently implement extensible bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! ShadowLands has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be one-to-one? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Think short-term. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating new user communities? Think ultra-open-source.