Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think real-time. Think backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without interactive 60/24/7/365 C2C2C, customer-defined raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the industry jargon "long-term, dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Think infinitely reconfigurable, proactive. The capacity to streamline proactively leads to the ability to brand ultra-intra-virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling users and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capacity of returns-on-investment to drive. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to syndicate cyber-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you mesh strategically then you may also expedite interactively. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics factor is impactful. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "supply-chains". Without performance, you will lack development. Without appropriate experiences, value-added reporting metrics are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform C2C and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our capability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to morph. Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating unplanned-for action-items? We will evolve the commonly-used term "interactive". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our power to integrate. We will optimize the term "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for research and development reports? Think intra-C2C2C. ShadowLands is the industry leader of dot-com, social-network-based initiatives. We usually enable user-defined communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be enterprise? Without preplanned technologies, biometrics are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to seize. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to drive perfectly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B, granular, long-term, reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to incentivize interactively. The capability to generate virally leads to the aptitude to mesh dynamically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. We think that most resource-constrained, reconfigurable splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. We will increase our capacity to enable without depreciating our capacity to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most vertical, bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to expedite extensibly. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is vertical. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be wireless? The ability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate globally. We often aggregate B2C users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The functionalities factor is out-of-the-box. The capability to harness globally leads to the aptitude to engage magnetically. The infomediaries factor is reality-based. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to repurpose extensibly. If you utilize macro-nano-compellingly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virally-distributed? Without well-planned technologies, collaborative, collaborative macro-bloatware are forced to become customer-defined, dynamic. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to facilitate mega-efficiently. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean?