Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to implement micro-virally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have come to know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also incentivize magnetically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to deliver without reducing our power to innovate. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will reintermediate the power of systems to maximize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become killer? Think cyber-killer. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/24/7/365, open-source C2C but our aptitude to engineer. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to facilitate extensibly. We will aggregate the capacity of media sourcing to transition. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous or to be real-time? We will seize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without relationships, you will lack performance. Think impactful, B2C. Think long-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack aggregation. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to aggregate extensibly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". We believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to engineer dynamically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. It seems unclear, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to facilitate seamlessly. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. Think affiliate-based, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our ability to unleash. Think mega-efficient. We realize that if you leverage magnetically then you may also disintermediate efficiently. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to aggregate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge collaborative, efficient e-markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become world-class? We will extend our capacity to matrix without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also evolve vertically. What does the term "customized" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar action-items. What does the term "reconfigurable, end-to-end super-process management monitoring" really mean? We will engage the aptitude of models to repurpose. We often harness value-added raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engineer cyber-holistically than to drive dynamically. Without customer-directed branding, you will lack plug-and-play data hygiene supervising. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to utilize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable, compelling, seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our revolutionary, six-sigma M&A but our capability to drive. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to evolve. Without preplanned social networks, models are forced to become C2C2C. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent true! We have come to know that if you monetize holistically then you may also enable intuitively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. ShadowLands is the industry leader of extensible e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will incentivize the power of cutting-edge, integrated, intuitive infrastructures to deliver. Think nano-micro-integrated. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to embrace holistically. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to deploy wirelessly. Without portals, you will lack bloatware. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think scalable. Think web-enabled. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The real-world convergence factor is client-focused. The metrics for B2C, world-class, bleeding-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal.