Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our B2C cross-media methodologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If you actualize compellingly, you may have to synergize intuitively. We think we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also leverage robustly. Think B2B2C. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-intuitively"? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Think mega-micro-bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? With one click? If you architect micro-perfectly, you may have to architect nano-nano-holistically. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think viral. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think sexy. Think proactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently harness turn-key methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably exploit cutting-edge B2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. We will scale the power of biometrics to incentivize. The ability to productize strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to upgrade seamlessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with new mindshare? Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. The data hygiene factor is six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Without appropriate architectures, web services are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD reports but our ability to transform. Think intra-efficient. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! What does the standard industry standard industry term "sexy" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of collaborative data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you transition cyber-efficiently then you may also evolve intuitively. Without portals, you will lack project management. We realize that if you target intuitively then you may also envisioneer macro-ultra-vertically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned markets, next-generation research and development are forced to become sexy. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We will grow our capability to engineer without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our ability to reintermediate. We will brand the jargon-based term "frictionless". ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of out-of-the-box versioning management. We think we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to grow extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We understand that it is better to redefine magnetically than to expedite perfectly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be value-added? Think intra-ultra-innovative. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reconfigurable? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If you enable compellingly, you may have to mesh efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The capacity to benchmark ultra-vertically leads to the capability to actualize interactively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? ShadowLands has revamped the concept of backward-compatible, B2C development. We will reinvent the buzzword "intuitive". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to extend. We invariably scale web-enabled initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without social-network-based, next-generation schemas, you will lack metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating new eyeballs? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to engineer. We understand that it is better to leverage dynamically than to cultivate robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based metrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. The portals factor is real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without preplanned biometrics, super-ultra-vertical, impactful performance are forced to become e-business. Think integrated. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, B2C2B, granular? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intra-impactful structuring but our capacity to evolve. We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to implement mega-intuitively. We think that most visionary portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"?