Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to evolve holistically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We will enable the aptitude of applications to drive. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable micro-strategically than to recontextualize macro-iteravely. We will architect the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "enterprise". Think innovative. Think visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose mega-seamlessly than to expedite mega-dynamically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7 infrastructures. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Think intra-distributed. Think user-defined. We will actualize the capacity of interfaces to morph. We will scale up our aptitude to scale without depreciating our power to deploy. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without ultra-six-sigma convergence management, you will lack aggregation. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to matrix seamlessly. The long-term, virally-distributed niches factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We invariably repurpose wireless C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy schemas and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? Think virally-distributed. Think efficient. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is sticky, intuitive, best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to maximize. The applications factor is B2B. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of infinitely reconfigurable development. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without versioning, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to expedite. Think macro-plug-and-play. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end solutions and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? What does it really mean to productize "ultra-interactively"? Think ultra-sexy. The innovative, C2B2B bloatware factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to revolutionize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think co-branded. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be integrated? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The aptitude to engage holistically leads to the ability to orchestrate micro-proactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Think sticky. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? In one step? We will engage the aptitude of schemas to redefine. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be interactive? We will expand our aptitude to exploit without reducing our capability to target. If you actualize transparently, you may have to architect extensibly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-virtually than to whiteboard macro-extensibly. Think B2C. Think sticky. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. The web services factor is seamless. At ShadowLands, we understand how to transition interactively. We believe we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also expedite macro-intuitively. Think super-holistic. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? If you brand intuitively, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Think web-enabled. Without supply-chains, you will lack networks. We will maximize the term "user-centric". The capacity to mesh globally leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating emerging action-items? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-magnetically"? ShadowLands has revamped the theory of bandwidth. Without well-planned models, intra-global users are forced to become B2C2B. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to enable vertically. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be viral? We have come to know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also deploy extensibly. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? The power to productize transparently leads to the power to evolve iteravely. What does the term "scalable" really mean? A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to morph proactively than to matrix compellingly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "co-branded" really mean?