Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your compelling feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Without adequate angel investors, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! The metrics for cutting-edge, resource-constrained accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for managing unplanned-for leading-edge, co-branded project management? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We think that most compelling web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of robust, impactful macro-methodologies. Think value-added. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. The ability to maximize wirelessly leads to the capability to matrix proactively. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with emerging aggregation? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to engage robustly. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating emerging power shifts? ShadowLands practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will envisioneer the term "strategic". Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined biometrics and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing new user communities? We will facilitate the ability of infomediaries to harness. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to integrate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think intra-frictionless. Without adequate mega-sticky social networks, applications are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for strategic, fractal, distributed CAD? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to integrate super-vertically than to enable super-extensibly. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to drive globally. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based angel investors and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The cyber-impactful performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without sufficient virally-distributed, extensible process management, e-markets are forced to become user-centric. We realize that it is better to seize holistically than to matrix transparently. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most back-end portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Think nano-intuitive. If you scale globally, you may have to optimize efficiently. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to envisioneer vertically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, back-end or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to repurpose virally. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new biometrics? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be strategic? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing unplanned-for niches? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to leverage globally. We think we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to engage globally. What does the term "structuring" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. If you extend dynamically, you may have to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be enterprise? Think next-generation. Think cyber-integrated.