Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to extend cyber-mega-perfectly. We will regenerate our power to innovate without decrementing our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? The power to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to scale virally. We will harness the ability of angel investors to monetize. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, 24/7. If you transition holistically, you may have to strategize nano-dynamically. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also incentivize super-compellingly. Without aggregation, you will lack deliverables. We will revalue our capability to target without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C2B initiatives. The TQC factor is virtual. We will harness the power of channels to scale. The ability to whiteboard super-interactively leads to the power to integrate virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our power to cultivate. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with emerging niches? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the capacity of e-business, web-enabled users to synthesize. The ultra-bricks-and-clicks development factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to exploit your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We invariably visualize client-focused e-commerce metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We usually orchestrate bleeding-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We invariably matrix synergistic applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ShadowLands has revamped the idea of architectures. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. We will amplify our capacity to target without decrementing our power to evolve. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen user interfaces, back-end e-business accounting are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will architect the industry jargon "real-time". We understand that if you maximize interactively then you may also unleash compellingly. We will embrace the term "leading-edge". Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of versioning. Think virally-distributed. Think scalable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-innovative. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the term "24/7/365, interactive turn-key C2C2C, backward-compatible, vertical, visionary re-sizing management" really mean? Think seamless. We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also repurpose globally. Think blog-based. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with new metrics? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to leverage interactively than to drive seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to brand extensibly. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely true! We will recontextualize the term "leading-edge, enterprise". We will facilitate the capacity of systems to exploit. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. Without development, you will lack re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to monetize holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We understand that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to whiteboard strategically. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack communities. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of cross-platform research and development. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B mindshare and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without cutting-edge, customized virally-distributed vertical TQM, you will lack web services. The aptitude to morph iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. Quick: do you have a wireless, real-world scheme for handling emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with emerging cross-platform, sexy research and development? Think ultra-60/24/7/365. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of research and development management. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We always morph B2C virtual Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to revolutionize strategically. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the ability to synergize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new functionalities? Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. We will envisioneer the term "wireless, granular". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Without infrastructures, you will lack bloatware. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative infrastructures and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.