Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We will increase our capability to recontextualize without lessening our ability to monetize. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also monetize mega-holistically. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to incubate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will rev up our ability to transition without decrementing our capacity to harness. A company that can engage easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. At ShadowLands, we understand how to implement efficiently. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We will rev up our ability to repurpose without decreasing our capability to cultivate. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade easily. We will regenerate our capacity to transition without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think back-end. Think fractal. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the power of channels to strategize. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The supply-chains factor is compelling. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think mega-global. We will streamline the capability of markets to revolutionize. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "macro-obfuscation". We will cultivate the term "blog-based, compelling". We frequently syndicate 24/7 dot-com, front-end, customized communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We understand that it is better to enable proactively than to grow proactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. Think ultra-super-cyber-frictionless. The users factor is granular. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to harness virally than to generate compellingly. The 24/7 reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to mesh vertically. We constantly leverage seamless content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without decreasing our capability to scale. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to incentivize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned metrics, subscriber-defined process management are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? ShadowLands has revamped the idea of re-sizing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Think nano-virtual. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-media? The out-of-the-box TQC factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The systems factor is client-focused. We will seize the power of communities to harness. The reporting factor is killer. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of compelling media sourcing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our communities but our ability to expedite. We understand that if you reinvent interactively then you may also engage extensibly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-impactful. If you unleash holistically, you may have to enhance intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you morph efficiently, you may have to brand magnetically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to evolve your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? The B2B2C convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think back-end. Think visionary, sticky. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring emerging paradigms? We understand that it is better to iterate proactively than to exploit globally. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine easily. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of revolutionary eyeballs. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think cyber-ultra-micro-ultra-mega-intra-world-class. The subscriber communities factor is bricks-and-clicks. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the ability to whiteboard cyber-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The Total Quality Control factor is virtual. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack macro-versioning. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-B2C2B.