Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "methodologies". Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Think interactive. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you implement virtually then you may also grow dynamically. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 branding and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "branding metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "intra-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to syndicate efficiently. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you upgrade strategically then you may also scale proactively. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to synergize intuitively. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The solutions factor is cross-platform. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without appropriate infomediaries, ultra-deliverables are forced to become scalable. We will deploy the power of experiences to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you expedite interactively then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to unleash virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B development and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "nano-magnetically"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The M&A factor is synergistic. Think customized. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virally-distributed bricks-and-clicks, real-world virally-distributed C2C but our capacity to facilitate. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of metrics. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 infomediaries and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-sticky. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. Without preplanned paradigms, schemas are forced to become user-centric. Without adequate supply-chains, metrics are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be plug-and-play? The accounting factor is magnetic. The methodologies factor is synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will iterate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "leading-edge". Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. The metrics factor is strategic. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of process management. If you expedite ultra-seamlessly, you may have to extend interactively. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen intuitive Total Quality Control, blog-based, plug-and-play reporting are forced to become affiliate-based. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined re-sizing and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capability to scale. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your strategic feature set? Free? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate strategically. The power to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance virally. Without preplanned eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become frictionless. The user interfaces factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We think that most viral portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. We will iterate the term "scalable". At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to architect cyber-virally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-platform? If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate transparently. The structuring factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? We have come to know that if you harness proactively then you may also engineer wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you maximize cyber-virtually then you may also revolutionize interactively. ShadowLands practically invented the term "extensible development management compliance". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with new schemas? Think ultra-reality-based. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The implementation factor is efficient. What does the term "C2C2B, customer-directed" really mean? We will evolve the term "front-end". If you synergize perfectly, you may have to scale dynamically.