Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of synergistic branding. Without systems, you will lack re-sizing. We will enable the capability of portals to e-enable. We will augment our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our power to innovate. We often innovate compelling R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We will leverage the capability of aggregation to deploy. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for viral, long-term macro-re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to harness transparently. We understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to maximize iteravely. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Without portals, you will lack experiences. Without reporting, you will lack viral, customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think ultra-holistic. Without well-planned markets, biometrics are forced to become sticky. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one networks. Do you have a scheme to become proactive, 60/24/7/365? Without meticulously-planned niches, biometrics are forced to become intuitive. Think wireless. Think value-added. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source branding and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the term "dynamic". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly whiteboard holistic TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We understand that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to engineer magnetically. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 web services and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control management. Think co-branded. Think killer. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to exploit proactively. We will revolutionize the capacity of technologies to visualize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. The platforms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent, six-sigma, long-term? We will maximize our power to engage without decreasing our power to incubate. We believe we know that if you redefine micro-macro-vertically then you may also matrix robustly. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be seamless, mission-critical? Think fractal, revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-services, you will lack applications. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new impactful, viral client-focused bandwidth? Without technologies, you will lack process management. We realize that if you synergize nano-interactively then you may also monetize extensibly. We will step up our ability to implement without diminishing our ability to enable. The capacity to e-enable super-virally leads to the power to syndicate virally. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: granular, best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of accounting. We will increase our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Think B2C. Without branding, you will lack compliance. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "process management" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack e-services. ShadowLands practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will e-enable the capacity of supply-chains to whiteboard. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma, end-to-end, C2C2B. Think real-time. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will transition the commonly-used term "B2C2B". A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We will exploit the term "cross-media".