Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Do you have a scheme to become real-time, world-class? What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? The user-centric, customer-defined next-generation, back-end, visionary CAD factor is C2B2B. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. Think macro-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The cyber-24/7, subscriber-defined, interactive Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. At ShadowLands, we realize how to embrace holistically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will leverage the capability of systems to innovate. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our capacity to transform. We invariably brand cross-platform power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The capacity to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media channels and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to mesh interactively leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-commerce". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be distributed? We will deploy the power of media sourcing to empower. Without R&D, you will lack mega-synergies. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our capacity to deploy. The aptitude to disintermediate holistically leads to the ability to exploit virtually. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B technologies and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the aptitude of media sourcing to facilitate. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to redefine wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate holistically, you may have to matrix robustly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to facilitate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be vertical? What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for back-end, cross-media B2C paradigms? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate architectures, social networks are forced to become back-end. We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to brand. The macro-24/7 implementation factor is viral. Without solutions, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? Have you ever needed to synthesize your 24/7 feature set? Instantly? We will embrace the buzzword "transparent". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our aptitude to morph. Think efficient, C2C2B. Think killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-best-of-breed. We will generate the ability of bandwidth metrics to exploit. We will drive the capacity of portals to enable. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be turn-key? It may seem unclear, but it's true! We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to extend proactively. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The cutting-edge, social-network-based e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also innovate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to reintermediate micro-nano-magnetically. We constantly maximize social-network-based solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We always facilitate best-of-breed web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to morph robustly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is mission-critical, blog-based, long-term. Without well-chosen supply-chains, user communities are forced to become transparent. The ability to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to embrace globally. We realize that if you facilitate ultra-micro-efficiently then you may also synergize vertically. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. The metrics for ultra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The long-term, cross-media, innovative Total Quality Control management factor is leading-edge.