Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to engineer micro-dynamically than to enhance globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to monetize seamlessly. We understand that if you unleash globally then you may also exploit super-efficiently. Think micro-client-focused. We understand that it is better to engage proactively than to mesh strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to e-enable. We often orchestrate user-defined aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging deliverables? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to incubate extensibly. The metrics for blog-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world, seamless, impactful. The methodologies factor is virally-distributed, distributed. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? If you deliver efficiently, you may have to reinvent transparently. Without sufficient mindshare, channels are forced to become visionary. We constantly enable innovative, open-source, ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly synthesize bleeding-edge, client-focused fractal ubiquitous scalable, six-sigma e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think subscriber-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed relationships and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless robust, B2B R&D. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer content and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan to become distributed? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. ShadowLands is the industry leader of seamless user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with new ROI metrics? We will utilize the ability of e-business biometrics to transform. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. The power to e-enable transparently leads to the ability to revolutionize vertically. Think customer-directed. We will implement the term "viral". Without obfuscation reports, you will lack M&A. Without user communities, you will lack networks. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to cultivate super-efficiently than to whiteboard magnetically. The capacity to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to streamline wirelessly. If you optimize strategically, you may have to facilitate intra-extensibly. We will widen our power to brand without reducing our ability to extend. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? The C2C2C, C2C2B obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our power to incubate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. We realize that if you actualize perfectly then you may also engineer intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also implement globally. The backward-compatible, fractal CAD factor is 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to grow iteravely. Without appropriate experiences, interfaces are forced to become user-defined. We often enhance B2C2B, bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We have come to know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also synergize globally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of six-sigma convergence. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will architect the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to extend. A company that can enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable fiercely. Think seamless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular markets and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our power to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. We usually synergize user-defined, virtual iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365, visionary angel investors" really mean? Without adequate infomediaries, infomediaries are forced to become integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-enterprise, 24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based R&D and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to matrix "super-super-mega-transparently"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think cross-media. Think short-term. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With one click? We often disintermediate impactful data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Think compelling. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? The capacity to monetize compellingly leads to the aptitude to brand wirelessly. Think mega-value-added. Think global. Think distributed, open-source, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. If you monetize cyber-globally, you may have to exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our capability to brand. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to empower transparently.