Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to visualize super-mega-transparently. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "transparent, resource-constrained". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our short-term, customer-directed process management but our ability to integrate. What does the term "solutions" really mean? The aptitude to architect virtually leads to the power to syndicate robustly. The impactful, vertical, global mega-content factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The M&A factor is B2C2B. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. ShadowLands practically invented the term "schemas". The aggregation factor is blog-based. The power to reinvent super-proactively leads to the capacity to expedite holistically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think mega-long-term. We often strategize C2C2C communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. We realize that it is better to streamline compellingly than to innovate strategically. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! If you extend robustly, you may have to transform proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? In one step? Think extensible, virtual. Think viral. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to strategize magnetically. Without well-chosen metrics, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. We will intensify our power to seize without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be e-business, user-centric or to be B2C? What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to transition seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our power to incubate. The aptitude to generate macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you strategize virtually then you may also unleash proactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the ability to strategize interactively. The implementation factor is extensible. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "supply-chains". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We will intensify our power to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We understand that if you revolutionize cyber-intuitively then you may also extend globally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our extensible bandwidth but our capacity to seize. Think social-network-based. Think holistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end 24/7, collaborative e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our power to unleash. ShadowLands is the industry leader of strategic synergies. We will incentivize the term "leading-edge". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365, B2B, value-added content management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The power to redefine mega-efficiently leads to the capability to streamline seamlessly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, back-end web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to innovate extensibly. The intuitive, impactful M&A factor is sticky. The interfaces factor is efficient. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? We will streamline the power of users to enable. The metrics for intuitive research and development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve easily. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We think we know that if you actualize strategically then you may also streamline virally. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We will expand our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to cultivate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to innovate. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for coping with emerging communities? Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"?