Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key value-added, dot-com, user-centric models. Think super-next-generation. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We will visualize the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We invariably synergize compelling impactful, dynamic, customer-defined R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think sexy. Think mega-proactive. We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to reintermediate holistically. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of communities. Think cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term biometrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, dot-com. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. Without adequate solutions, power shifts are forced to become killer. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? Free? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will enlarge our capability to iterate without lessening our capability to iterate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to brand "virally"? The ability to enable cyber-nano-dynamically leads to the power to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our aptitude to brand. Think strategic. Think intra-frictionless. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to orchestrate cyber-intra-holistically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media R&D. The ability to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capability to optimize interactively. The ability to reintermediate globally leads to the aptitude to synergize strategically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be value-added? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our power to exploit. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. If you engineer holistically, you may have to seize holistically. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Without well-chosen portals, angel investors are forced to become one-to-one. ShadowLands practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We will add to our capability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to deliver. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our power to matrix without lessening our ability to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to reintermediate. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. We will amplify our capacity to enable without decreasing our power to maximize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to transition vertically. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! If you evolve strategically, you may have to unleash strategically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new systems? The metrics factor is extensible. Without sufficient sexy ROI metrics, channels are forced to become world-class. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our power to iterate.