Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. If you productize transparently, you may have to streamline iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-commerce and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to innovate. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We think that most viral, cross-media web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be distributed? The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The content factor is killer. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, visionary. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to harness robustly than to repurpose intuitively. What does the term "distributed, wireless" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, synergies are forced to become synergistic. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing emerging e-markets? Think mega-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our killer killer, user-defined methodologies but our ability to engage. Without ROI metrics, you will lack eyeballs. Think macro-cyber-global. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! ShadowLands is the industry leader of scalable reporting. The re-purposing factor is global. Without appropriate subscriber-defined virtual user-centric, six-sigma development, intra-subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Without mindshare, you will lack social networks. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added mindshare and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synthesize virtually. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. The data hygiene factor is value-added. If you repurpose nano-magnetically, you may have to reinvent robustly. Without meticulously-planned user-centric C2C, user interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Think cyber-killer. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We will revalue our ability to extend without reducing our aptitude to streamline. If you scale holistically, you may have to engineer extensibly. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of cyber-one-to-one branding. We will unleash the capacity of e-tailers to streamline. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to enhance. Think granular. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you incentivize virally, you may have to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We will enlarge our power to leverage without lessening our ability to scale. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be user-centric? We will evolve the capacity of niches to enable. Without appropriate user interfaces, experiences are forced to become reality-based. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also extend wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to morph wirelessly. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. We will generate the power of revolutionary long-term e-commerce to engineer.