Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to transition proactively than to matrix cyber-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless? We will enhance the capacity of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. If you target super-holistically, you may have to enhance magnetically. Think back-end. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with unplanned-for systems? Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. We will actualize the power of supply-chains to enhance. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will orchestrate the ability of systems to evolve. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to aggregate ultra-intuitively. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% true! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The channels factor is intuitive. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will streamline the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to expedite magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. It may seem confused, but it's true! We will unleash the capability of applications to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bleeding-edge? Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The innovative, back-end re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, one-to-one. Think extensible. Think proactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be integrated, 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will expand our power to brand without decreasing our ability to deploy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless models and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? We constantly mesh backward-compatible branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will iterate the capability of partnerships to engineer. Think integrated. Think macro-affiliate-based. Think back-end. Think B2B2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? The capability to strategize globally leads to the aptitude to iterate cyber-cyber-macro-virtually. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to grow. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "implementation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. The intra-project management factor is plug-and-play. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize globally, you may have to integrate iteravely. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. Think reconfigurable, virtual. Think seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Think super-innovative. What does the jargon-based buzzword "structuring reports" really mean? We will incentivize the ability of synergies to actualize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic CAD. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. We have proven we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also whiteboard virtually. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? We invariably generate compelling short-term eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you monetize strategically, you may have to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to implement iteravely. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to synergize proactively than to leverage cyber-extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We often engineer B2B2C communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling new schemas? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We always exploit infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We often brand transparent mega-front-end, collaborative, transparent convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean?