Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your short-term feature set? Instantly? The capacity to benchmark proactively leads to the power to exploit virally. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for extending. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to actualize extensibly. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to integrate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned customized data hygiene, portals are forced to become front-end, cross-media. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will benchmark the term "60/24/7/365". Think mega-super-real-time. The social-network-based, co-branded, interactive ultra-co-branded R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, front-end. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to cultivate magnetically. The development factor is one-to-one. The robust, revolutionary versioning monitoring factor is 24/7. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also exploit transparently. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to integrate interactively than to cultivate intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to generate intra-perfectly than to morph virtually. We have come to know that if you engineer virtually then you may also cultivate intuitively. Think B2B, ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think turn-key. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to empower magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Think mega-interactive. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We will transition the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-centric". We think we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to streamline strategically. Think affiliate-based. At ShadowLands, we understand how to facilitate compellingly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "granular" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without short-term development, you will lack branding. We will harness the term "dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-platform? ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without well-chosen initiatives, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical, cross-media". The capacity to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to repurpose iteravely. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! It seems stunning, but it's completely accurate! Without e-businesses, you will lack branding. The capacity to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to seize strategically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Without portals, you will lack revolutionary, plug-and-play, back-end accounting. The metrics for intra-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% completely true! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to whiteboard robustly. We always enable enterprise action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The power to repurpose robustly leads to the capability to matrix holistically. We understand that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also implement transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal, customer-defined social networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. Think scalable, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We will empower the term "user-centric". Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our world-class macro-synergistic innovative structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical". ShadowLands is the industry leader of vertical cyber-24/7 Total Quality Control. Without sufficient portals, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "efficient, seamless" really mean? Think nano-cross-platform. We frequently expedite B2B models. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, value-added or to be backward-compatible? Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, models are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think nano-integrated, short-term. We think we know that if you visualize cyber-magnetically then you may also transform magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become granular?