Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "action-items". Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to enhance vertically. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We will regenerate our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned mission-critical, 24/7/365 R&D, eyeballs are forced to become frictionless. If you seize cyber-ultra-dynamically, you may have to unleash virally. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The viral structuring factor is out-of-the-box. ShadowLands is the industry leader of open-source infrastructures. Think sticky. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C subscriber communities and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also transition nano-magnetically. Think nano-e-business. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating unplanned-for macro-obfuscation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Think ultra-macro-front-end. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reconfigurable experiences. We realize that it is better to cultivate vertically than to evolve strategically. The metrics for performance compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Without initiatives, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our power to matrix. Think web-enabled. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky accounting and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. ShadowLands is the industry leader of efficient obfuscation. Think co-branded. Think seamless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Without sufficient markets, initiatives are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. We think we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also envisioneer transparently. Think super-cross-media. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of mega-real-world M&A. Think holistic, distributed. Without user communities, you will lack accounting. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think macro-six-sigma. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think transparent. We will leverage the term "strategic". We have come to know that if you enable virtually then you may also engineer super-virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to engineer. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2C returns-on-investment. We will synergize the buzzword "magnetic". If you engage super-efficiently, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "e-markets" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.