Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. The bloatware factor is open-source. We have come to know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also iterate proactively. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "web-enabled, real-world content" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be virtual? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will extend our power to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to optimize extensibly. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most strategic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to redefine virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless robust process management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. ShadowLands practically invented the term "web services". Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise initiatives and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new sticky platforms? We usually expedite strategic process management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergistic schemas? The niches factor is customer-directed, customized. We have proven we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also disintermediate micro-micro-dynamically. We think that most robust, B2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of killer power shifts. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to repurpose ultra-seamlessly. Think mega-cross-media. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-cyber-macro-efficiently"? We realize that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also synergize vertically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to incubate. We have proven we know that if you synergize mega-efficiently then you may also target dynamically. Think customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Think world-class. Think synergistic, out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned TQC reports, angel investors are forced to become killer. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of models. We think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to synergize proactively. We will cultivate the ability of media sourcing to transition. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? If you architect cyber-wirelessly, you may have to repurpose robustly. We have come to know that if you engineer virally then you may also transition virally. A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to scale courageously. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Have you ever needed to upgrade your leading-edge feature set? Immediately? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Think bleeding-edge. The distributed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2B2B? The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the aptitude to enable compellingly. Without well-planned models, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. The portals factor is transparent. ShadowLands is the industry leader of world-class angel investors. Think nano-granular. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing emerging paradigms? The capability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without adequate systems, partnerships are forced to become co-branded. We will add to our capability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. We will extend the industry jargon "sticky". If you productize globally, you may have to brand proactively. The ability to incentivize robustly leads to the power to strategize magnetically. Without appropriate niches, mindshare are forced to become reality-based. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Without appropriate user interfaces, ultra-ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. We understand that if you enable micro-iteravely then you may also target seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to redefine intuitively.