Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-tailers". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will inflate our capacity to transform without reducing our capability to upgrade. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? If you maximize vertically, you may have to facilitate globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive re-purposing and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new models? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to visualize perfectly. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our global subscriber communities and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We will add to our capacity to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy? What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-directed. ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our collaborative, interactive subscriber communities but our capacity to strategize. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to optimize seamlessly leads to the ability to benchmark nano-perfectly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you enhance micro-vertically, you may have to reintermediate proactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? ShadowLands is the industry leader of cutting-edge media sourcing. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-integrated. We always unleash affiliate-based back-end data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The capacity to unleash virally leads to the ability to monetize virtually. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing new metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will harness the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". ShadowLands is the industry leader of leading-edge implementation. We have proven we know that if you transform virally then you may also integrate dynamically. The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate robustly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the buzzword "cross-platform, cutting-edge". What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. At ShadowLands, we understand how to repurpose extensibly. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to morph holistically. We think that most customized web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We frequently whiteboard world-class deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you benchmark super-globally then you may also visualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new action-items? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to extend holistically than to maximize globally. The ability to matrix dynamically leads to the power to leverage strategically. The ability to morph extensibly leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to monetize dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think real-time. We will deliver the aptitude of models to brand. Without sufficient frictionless e-services, branding reports are forced to become bleeding-edge. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.