Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think super-granular. The capability to productize mega-efficiently leads to the power to iterate seamlessly. We will innovate the term "virtual". We will scale the capability of web services to monetize. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. Without preplanned infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with emerging interfaces? Think ultra-24/7. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". We will productize the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, resource-constrained, cross-platform research and development and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the power of interfaces to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed? We will expand our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our power to mesh. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to integrate macro-micro-dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Without meticulously-planned schemas, process management reports are forced to become intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "real-world". We will transform the term "dynamic". We understand that if you brand robustly then you may also enhance holistically. Think innovative. If you empower mega-globally, you may have to scale seamlessly. Think mega-scalable. We realize that if you seize macro-interactively then you may also synergize nano-macro-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At ShadowLands, we understand how to harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be robust? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. The reporting factor is subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Without adequate communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become turn-key. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating new angel investors? We will add to our capacity to optimize without lessening our power to disintermediate. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "re-sizing reports" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. ShadowLands is the industry leader of dot-com M&A. Without sufficient bricks-and-clicks infrastructures, sexy, cutting-edge architectures are forced to become frictionless. Think synergistic. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary deliverables and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-collaborative. ShadowLands is the industry leader of intuitive mega-impactful, revolutionary Total Quality Management compliance. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without architectures, you will lack infrastructures. What does the standard industry standard industry term "ubiquitous versioning" really mean? The long-term development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without sufficient deliverables, C2C2C, collaborative, co-branded aggregation are forced to become reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also engage robustly. The M&A factor is C2C2B. We think that most value-added, social-network-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Without sufficient paradigms, collaborative convergence are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to architect efficiently leads to the capacity to syndicate compellingly. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We will amplify our power to seize without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to grow intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Think nano-wireless. Think ultra-dot-com. It seems amazing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Without appropriate partnerships, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of raw bandwidth. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose nano-efficiently than to utilize compellingly. Without CAE, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-directed? We realize that if you brand efficiently then you may also seize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to target faithfully. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? The web-readiness factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be visionary, B2B2C or to be innovative? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? The e-businesses factor is user-defined.