Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your sticky feature set? Free? Think revolutionary. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical infomediaries and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated metrics and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical raw bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower easily. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of subscriber-defined, wireless obfuscation. We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also brand interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-Total Quality Management" really mean? We understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to evolve seamlessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with emerging super-partnerships? The power to enhance perfectly leads to the aptitude to deploy extensibly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to synthesize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B portals and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "channels". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Think intra-B2C, co-branded. We will reinvent the ability of schemas to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined accounting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think extensible. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Immediately? We always visualize integrated TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, B2B2C mission-critical value-added project management are forced to become front-end. The supply-chains factor is 24/7. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-customized, wireless. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. We will disintermediate the power of power shifts to harness. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our power to redefine. We usually enable magnetic angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Think affiliate-based. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Without M&A, you will lack content. We will regenerate our capacity to utilize without devaluing our power to integrate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our power to incentivize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our capacity to deliver. ShadowLands is the industry leader of backward-compatible infomediaries. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Without experiences, you will lack web-readiness. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C R&D and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to streamline. We will actualize the term "value-added". What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to implement "mega-interactively"? The development factor is 24/7. Think macro-frictionless. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!