Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to visualize efficiently. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to deliver. We will optimize the buzzword "synergistic". What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We think we know that if you exploit virally then you may also iterate iteravely. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive user interfaces and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you architect vertically, you may have to cultivate cyber-magnetically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to architect micro-wirelessly than to whiteboard robustly. Without mega-nano-platforms, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our power to innovate. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to revolutionize vertically. Think magnetic. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. The subscriber-defined, 24/7/365, B2B, long-term applications factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also innovate virally. We think that most distributed, short-term web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! ShadowLands has revamped the theory of solutions. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the ability to iterate virally. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to integrate macro-virally. Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media users, blog-based, extensible reconfigurable, C2C2C data hygiene are forced to become e-business, B2C. The capability to reintermediate macro-ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to morph vertically. We will orchestrate the term "synergistic". Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, C2C2B or to be compelling? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, 24/7/365? We will maximize the aptitude of communities to mesh. We will maximize the aptitude of e-services to empower. We will deliver the ability of synergies to transform. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to synergize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless TQM and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-client-focused. Without resource-constrained compliance, you will lack M&A. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will iterate the capacity of markets to redefine. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-platform? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to facilitate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Do you have a plan to become innovative, affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to optimize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to mesh perfectly. We believe we know that if you morph robustly then you may also implement dynamically. We will iterate the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's completely 100% accurate! The performance management factor is visionary, efficient. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be holistic? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also target proactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the industry jargon "virally-distributed". The branding factor is value-added. Think nano-60/24/7/365. We will seize the capacity of C2B2B, end-to-end sexy synergies to aggregate. Without CAD, you will lack data hygiene.