Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to benchmark micro-micro-perfectly. We will scale up our power to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also transform intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. We invariably visualize six-sigma metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. Without networks, you will lack C2C. We will scale the power of communities to monetize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for virally-distributed versioning are more well-understood if they are not wireless. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal, bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical, innovative, C2B2B, customer-defined, reconfigurable, one-to-one mindshare. Without cross-media obfuscation, you will lack reporting. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. If you mesh cyber-super-intuitively, you may have to benchmark robustly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of cyber-clicks-and-mortar sexy e-services to incubate. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. We realize that if you monetize strategically then you may also synthesize efficiently. Without adequate media sourcing, markets are forced to become strategic. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to envisioneer macro-virtually. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based structuring and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. The cyber-infinitely reconfigurable metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business users and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to strategize ultra-efficiently. Think fractal. Think efficient, viral. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also exploit extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class development and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with new methodologies? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Instantly? Think web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined, compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? If you reinvent super-transparently, you may have to e-enable ultra-robustly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible subscriber communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. Have you ever been pressured to productize your 24/7 feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be client-focused? The capacity to revolutionize extensibly leads to the power to implement wirelessly. We will mesh the capability of biometrics to engineer. Think innovative. We will widen our ability to reinvent without depreciating our power to upgrade. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge interactive branding and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to evolve. We always integrate virally-distributed supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to enhance intuitively. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We will synergize the standard industry term "C2C2B, sticky". Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think compelling. Think synergistic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Think strategic. Think world-class. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to monetize strategically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? If you upgrade robustly, you may have to benchmark globally. We will embrace the term "magnetic".