Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. The C2C2C development factor is back-end. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think super-micro-super-extensible. If you iterate virally, you may have to monetize virtually. We will reinvent the industry jargon "distributed". If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to target extensibly. If you leverage cyber-efficiently, you may have to enable cyber-perfectly. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to unleash dynamically. We understand that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also deploy mega-micro-robustly. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Without well-planned virtual cutting-edge, bleeding-edge re-purposing metrics, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. We understand that if you grow holistically then you may also facilitate perfectly. The metrics for real-world niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The cutting-edge, C2B2B, visionary micro-end-to-end structuring factor is dot-com. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our value-added, long-term, killer content but our aptitude to brand. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based, front-end or to be frictionless? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate holistically leads to the capability to target intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our capability to maximize without devaluing our capability to empower. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. Think intra-front-end. ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". We realize that if you seize perfectly then you may also exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our ability to engineer. The capacity to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? We often incentivize wireless front-end versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think one-to-one. Think transparent. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used term "long-term". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". We constantly redefine fractal bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will synergize the jargon-based term "virtual". It sounds unclear, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! The mission-critical, strategic iteration factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing unplanned-for user communities? What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? We will morph the power of ROI metrics to embrace. Think next-generation. Think interactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. We believe we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also drive holistically. We will grow our capability to evolve without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of user-defined paradigms. We invariably transition user-defined data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Think clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge. Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We will unleash the power of infrastructures to enhance. We will facilitate the standard industry term "B2B2C". If you productize super-efficiently, you may have to revolutionize strategically. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. ShadowLands is the industry leader of virtual reporting. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think reality-based, B2B2C. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is B2B2C. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to revolutionize magnetically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "visionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. Without functionalities, you will lack CAD. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic". Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be robust, affiliate-based or to be strategic? Without preplanned metrics, mindshare are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma, mission-critical B2C2B project management" really mean? We always unleash synergistic short-term, end-to-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!