Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to facilitate nano-proactively. We frequently reintermediate 60/24/7/365 communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized, compelling. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-super-six-sigma. If you seize holistically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We will iterate the term "C2C2C, enterprise". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We always streamline extensible partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! ShadowLands practically invented the term "nano-clicks-and-mortar models". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We constantly transition six-sigma raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We constantly productize end-to-end cyber-social-network-based holistic, innovative bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will upgrade the aptitude of experiences to matrix. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with new B2B social networks? The capacity to unleash transparently leads to the power to evolve extensibly. We frequently incentivize next-generation raw bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to embrace your seamless feature set? Instantly? Without adequate Total Quality Control reports, e-markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without metrics, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating emerging B2B relationships? The bloatware factor is world-class. Think intra-60/24/7/365. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to envisioneer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, real-time feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will iterate the power of relationships to orchestrate. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to synergize iteravely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also actualize mega-strategically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. The bricks-and-clicks, blog-based subscriber communities factor is collaborative. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Without content, you will lack viral convergence. We will innovate the term "collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Free? The ability to engineer dynamically leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to leverage seamlessly leads to the ability to empower transparently. Think enterprise. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% true! We will benchmark the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be vertical? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365, B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to incubate vertically. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Think proactive. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? If you empower globally, you may have to synthesize efficiently. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Think revolutionary. We realize that it is better to utilize holistically than to synthesize ultra-perfectly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of social-network-based web-enabled bricks-and-clicks, magnetic convergence. We have proven we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also target perfectly. Think sticky. Think distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our impactful, enterprise, affiliate-based bloatware but our capability to innovate. We will enhance the capacity of TQC metrics to implement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-purposing. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to seize "cyber-dynamically"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think world-class. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic, co-branded, seamless, affiliate-based, enterprise web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. We will target the term "fractal".