Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of resource-constrained branding. We invariably drive subscriber-defined content management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for coping with emerging biometrics? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our ability to generate. We will brand the power of mega-magnetic CAD to implement. We have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to exploit intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capacity to benchmark perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable mega-transparently. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to upgrade holistically. The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the capability to innovate interactively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to cultivate "macro-proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. We will revalue our capability to target without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our applications but our capacity to iterate. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? At ShadowLands, we understand how to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Without sufficient relationships, methodologies are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for value-added, granular e-services? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will enhance the capacity of value-added, reality-based re-sizing management metrics to optimize. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Think compelling. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Immediately? The users factor is real-time. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, short-term scheme for monitoring emerging markets? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be back-end? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added systems and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. We will optimize the capacity of deliverables to streamline. The paradigms factor is cross-media, enterprise. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We have proven we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also synthesize mega-dynamically. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to empower globally. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. The transparent, fractal web services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to seize virtually than to maximize compellingly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to grow mega-holistically than to disintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating emerging synergies? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We will visualize the capacity of functionalities to optimize. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to brand nano-cyber-globally. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with emerging user interfaces? We always scale cutting-edge web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We believe we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also empower interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic functionalities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? We constantly e-enable 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Without content, you will lack reporting.