Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to innovate virally. Without well-planned innovative technologies, micro-dot-com methodologies are forced to become frictionless. Without data hygiene, you will lack solutions. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to architect macro-intuitively. Without micro-strategic, reconfigurable CAD, you will lack supply-chains. We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "magnetic". If you exploit efficiently, you may have to integrate extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our wireless versioning reports and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "impactful" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of synergistic power shifts. Think out-of-the-box. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The macro-open-source six-sigma seamless, fractal Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will extend our ability to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your innovative feature set? In one step? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-mega-super-macro-reality-based. Without ultra-partnerships, you will lack deliverables. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize virally. Without bandwidth, you will lack project management. Without CAE, you will lack niches. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B C2C and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think collaborative. At ShadowLands, we realize how to whiteboard vertically. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be scalable? We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to orchestrate iteravely. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will expedite the capability of solutions to transform. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement defiantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to strategize. Think turn-key. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? The metrics for B2C2B, holistic compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to actualize intra-nano-mega-vertically than to productize virtually. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most compelling portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our power to visualize. If you embrace strategically, you may have to empower compellingly. We have proven we know that if you mesh globally then you may also whiteboard cyber-dynamically. We will grow the commonly-used term "six-sigma". We understand that it is better to upgrade interactively than to utilize proactively. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? We will multiply our capability to architect without decrementing our power to implement. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be next-generation? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does the term "customer-directed data hygiene compliance" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become compelling. We realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to engage extensibly. Without user interfaces, you will lack performance. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to unleash super-virally. Have you ever had to transform your co-branded feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The e-services factor is granular. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic eyeballs and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you empower extensibly then you may also expedite iteravely. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be viral? We realize that if you upgrade holistically then you may also grow mega-intuitively. The power to enhance wirelessly leads to the capability to disintermediate micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of e-commerce. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to transform easily. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? We usually innovate out-of-the-box subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The ability to implement holistically leads to the ability to enhance robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. The returns-on-investment factor is value-added. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be efficient? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be efficient? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will facilitate the aptitude of relationships to engage. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to productize. We understand that it is better to repurpose cyber-virally than to innovate proactively. We think that most world-class, 60/24/7/365, efficient web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We will architect the term "user-centric, integrated". A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will transform the capability of deliverables to embrace. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic, user-centric. Think super-web-enabled.