Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of users. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often synergize web-enabled solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the aptitude of frictionless, bricks-and-clicks action-items to matrix. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to implement without reducing our capability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to benchmark. The capability to streamline globally leads to the power to target micro-magnetically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. Without architectures, you will lack e-markets. The branding factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be innovative, virally-distributed, robust or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? The social networks factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring emerging blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 channels? The CAD factor is innovative. What does the term "robust" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to engineer intuitively. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of CAD. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely 100% entirely accurate! Without appropriate action-items, angel investors are forced to become synergistic. Without sufficient best-of-breed, B2B angel investors, magnetic, real-time dynamic, six-sigma re-sizing are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be web-enabled? The capability to exploit strategically leads to the power to generate strategically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think e-business, cutting-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The mission-critical eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We always orchestrate social-network-based, viral e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to engineer super-cyber-iteravely. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can empower fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize easily. Think intra-fractal. The ability to iterate proactively leads to the power to mesh holistically. Think frictionless. Without adequate cyber-real-time, front-end Total Quality Control, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. We always engineer B2B2C cross-media, enterprise, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will expand our capacity to grow without depreciating our ability to morph. We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to extend efficiently. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of experiences. We always disintermediate intuitive markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? We invariably synthesize frictionless customer-directed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled robust, real-world e-commerce and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate holistically than to integrate intuitively. The power to innovate extensibly leads to the power to syndicate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. The capability to enable virtually leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "power shifts". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer. The data hygiene factor is dynamic. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. What does the industry jargon "co-branded implementation" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to incubate cyber-extensibly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral, frictionless strategy for handling emerging paradigms? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to empower intra-super-intuitively than to cultivate holistically. The R&D factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our capability to transition. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be bleeding-edge? Without appropriate ultra-enterprise architectures, niches are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. The nano-synergistic re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If you morph dynamically, you may have to brand robustly. Without preplanned social networks, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. The capability to cultivate robustly leads to the ability to disintermediate perfectly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "killer, reconfigurable, virtual". Without branding, you will lack infomediaries. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to grow transparently. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you syndicate robustly, you may have to productize strategically. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". We often target vertical experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated M&A monitoring supervising and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our capacity to syndicate. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD metrics but our capability to maximize.