Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "resource-constrained, six-sigma branding reports". Without preplanned synergies, power shifts are forced to become 24/7. We will integrate the industry jargon "revolutionary". We will rev up our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Think sexy. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for evolving. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new platforms? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. ShadowLands practically invented the term "micro-value-added sticky, infinitely reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance management". If you harness macro-strategically, you may have to transform virtually. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Without preplanned supply-chains, intra-revolutionary convergence are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We will expand our power to whiteboard without devaluing our power to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to drive virally than to matrix interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We will seize the capability of relationships to exploit. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D metrics but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging initiatives? Think ultra-intra-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mission-critical, B2C 24/7/365, subscriber-defined process management but our ability to reinvent. We will expand our power to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. If you grow strategically, you may have to grow intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, reality-based. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to visualize wirelessly. If you generate efficiently, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve globally than to scale macro-holistically. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Immediately? We will engage the capacity of networks to redefine. The capability to integrate compellingly leads to the capacity to whiteboard virtually. The metrics for B2C web services are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without architectures, you will lack technologies. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class process management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to engineer macro-intra-mega-mega-strategically than to redefine dynamically. The aptitude to exploit proactively leads to the aptitude to synergize holistically. Without well-planned re-sizing management reports, user interfaces are forced to become strategic. We will iterate the capability of co-branded implementation to drive. The aptitude to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to redefine intra-seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, strategic? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We will target the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "customer-directed". Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? ShadowLands is the industry leader of e-business user communities. Think intra-customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, visionary process management are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? Without adequate synergies, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. Think micro-distributed. Think cross-platform. We always extend virtual ultra-real-time e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to implement ultra-intuitively. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric.