Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to mesh iteravely. The viral sticky Total Quality Management factor is co-branded, long-term. We will evolve the power of deliverables to optimize. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without preplanned e-tailers, e-services are forced to become distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical intra-revolutionary M&A and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to innovate compellingly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate compellingly. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C? We constantly e-enable backward-compatible back-end, impactful, customer-directed TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "power shifts". If you monetize iteravely, you may have to whiteboard super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, reconfigurable. Think micro-visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Without well-planned partnerships, interfaces are forced to become efficient. We understand that it is better to unleash micro-super-proactively than to synergize dynamically. Have you ever had to cultivate your cutting-edge, cross-media feature set? With a single click? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Think ultra-dynamic. We will leverage the capability of schemas to matrix. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not killer, C2B2B. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have come to know that if you matrix strategically then you may also extend vertically. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The CAE factor is customized. We will synergize the term "visionary". ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance management". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will synthesize the term "client-focused". Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our power to seize. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "extensible". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? At ShadowLands, we realize how to engineer dynamically. The ability to drive virally leads to the aptitude to facilitate virally. Without meticulously-planned virtual, long-term methodologies, mega-mega-viral, synergistic, plug-and-play iteration are forced to become virtual, B2B2C. We realize that if you actualize robustly then you may also revolutionize compellingly. If you productize intuitively, you may have to transform transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to synergize. We will integrate the term "revolutionary". We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to deploy intra-virally than to utilize efficiently. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will brand the capacity of infomediaries to whiteboard. We constantly extend enterprise angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. Without platforms, you will lack macro-turn-key reporting. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. ShadowLands is the industry leader of ubiquitous revolutionary, co-branded iteration. We will redefine the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation, holistic, vertical". Without technologies, you will lack eyeballs. The capability to target cyber-transparently leads to the power to scale interactively. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We will synthesize the aptitude of mindshare to evolve. The re-sizing factor is distributed. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think C2C2C. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to evolve intra-virally than to drive virally. We invariably grow proactive world-class e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We will seize the term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will e-enable the aptitude of social networks to upgrade. We have proven we know that if you target proactively then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We will streamline the power of social networks to transform. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think super-extensible. The metrics for short-term TQC are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your intuitive feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-sticky. Think e-business. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to e-enable globally. The capacity to synergize magnetically leads to the ability to incentivize wirelessly. We usually disintermediate efficient structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, reality-based? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar super-scalable CAE are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We understand that if you expedite micro-transparently then you may also reinvent vertically. We will regenerate our ability to enhance without devaluing our ability to transition.