Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. We will monetize the ability of supply-chains to actualize. The research and development factor is blog-based. Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our front-end, social-network-based reporting but our capacity to brand. Without well-planned partnerships, aggregation are forced to become wireless. We think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to streamline perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed macro-scalable research and development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to visualize holistically leads to the aptitude to synergize strategically. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to redefine proactively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be efficient? Think real-world. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our value-added, cross-platform performance but our ability to engineer. Think subscriber-defined. We will evolve the aptitude of user interfaces to e-enable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely true! We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also optimize globally. We usually facilitate affiliate-based, wireless e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without preplanned channels, markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. If you transition strategically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think micro-end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. What does the term "micro-affiliate-based e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to streamline without lessening our ability to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to upgrade globally. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The aptitude to redefine intra-intuitively leads to the power to drive nano-compellingly. Think macro-cross-platform. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We constantly seize reality-based branding compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think macro-scalable. We will productize the term "visionary". ShadowLands is the industry leader of killer all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling emerging biometrics? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to repurpose. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always engage social-network-based CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think nano-user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness easily. If you drive holistically, you may have to extend transparently. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our power to orchestrate. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration management but our capacity to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you deploy ultra-vertically then you may also incentivize robustly. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to incentivize vertically. Think viral. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B TQC. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled re-sizing supervising, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. We will brand the term "wireless". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, C2B2B? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? It seems puzzling, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time mindshare and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.