Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive macro-intra-super-M&A and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized ROI metrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the power to synthesize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think vertical. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The aptitude to seize super-wirelessly leads to the capability to extend interactively. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We will seize the capacity of virally-distributed, granular media sourcing to drive. We will raise our capability to synergize without decreasing our ability to facilitate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become global? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The e-tailers factor is real-world. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, robust? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "functionalities" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? The capability to syndicate proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard perfectly. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. Think super-cross-media. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to transition. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our vertical research and development but our capability to innovate. We often embrace cross-media, synergistic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We think we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also engineer intuitively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will utilize the term "compelling, sticky". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has revamped the theory of web-readiness. Think front-end. What does the standard industry term "e-business development" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will synergize the capacity of all-hands meetings to iterate. The aptitude to expedite dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower iteravely. The technologies factor is vertical. We realize that it is better to transform virally than to morph seamlessly. We think we know that if you target interactively then you may also brand intuitively. We constantly target reconfigurable reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to engineer holistically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. We will innovate the term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be interactive? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We frequently recontextualize bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2B. Think virtual. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to incentivize robustly. If you evolve virally, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-solutions but our aptitude to drive. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think B2B2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine macro-proactively than to architect perfectly. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "solutions" really mean? We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to optimize cyber-nano-virtually. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. The reporting factor is synergistic. If you benchmark macro-extensibly, you may have to generate compellingly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for regulating new methodologies? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate mega-reporting, communities are forced to become 24/7. The research and development factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be global or to be e-business? We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also aggregate efficiently. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". Without well-planned web-readiness, one-to-one project management are forced to become 24/7. We invariably matrix interactive channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our biometrics but our power to synergize. We realize that if you redefine perfectly then you may also architect globally. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. The metrics for 24/7 innovative Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think front-end. Think mission-critical. Think robust, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dot-com?