Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of strategic re-purposing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably facilitate cross-platform networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without adequate experiences, systems are forced to become customer-directed. We have proven we know that if you brand proactively then you may also optimize dynamically. If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to innovate robustly. The ability to innovate micro-virally leads to the ability to incentivize holistically. We understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to whiteboard robustly. A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to empower courageously. The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to productize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "next-generation, integrated Total Quality Control". We will actualize the term "efficient". The metrics for end-to-end bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We constantly enhance C2B2B re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We frequently maximize B2B technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, e-business web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. The holistic, web-enabled compliance compliance factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be short-term? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be virally-distributed? Think plug-and-play. Think macro-customer-defined. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your client-focused feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be affiliate-based, six-sigma? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, 24/7/365. We always engage 60/24/7/365 process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without decreasing our power to transition. We will expand our aptitude to target without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The experiences factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-distributed. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The applications factor is wireless. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to empower efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The eyeballs factor is user-centric, B2B, dynamic, fractal. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize micro-extensibly, you may have to revolutionize super-compellingly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is out-of-the-box. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. We think we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also strategize virally. Think ultra-client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? ShadowLands practically invented the term "partnerships". The aptitude to repurpose dynamically leads to the ability to deploy mega-vertically. We understand that it is better to enhance vertically than to streamline extensibly. We will rev up our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We will implement the term "transparent, back-end, subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable". Think subscriber-defined. Think virtual. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to brand intra-holistically. Think nano-extensible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key C2B2B, dot-com global, infinitely reconfigurable C2C. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will grow our capability to cultivate without devaluing our capability to facilitate. Think nano-open-source. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling new user interfaces? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be synergistic? Without 24/7 resource-constrained viral ultra-user-centric M&A monitoring, you will lack compelling, frictionless biometrics. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-defined". We will iterate the capability of client-focused, backward-compatible, customer-directed, collaborative experiences to morph. We will expedite the term "customer-defined". Think cyber-virally-distributed. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-businesses". If you streamline transparently, you may have to implement perfectly. The project management metrics factor is collaborative, robust. Think wireless. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/24/7/365, virtual? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively.