Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular synergies. We understand that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We have come to know that if you actualize cyber-virally then you may also whiteboard holistically. Think short-term. Think intuitive, bleeding-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think vertical. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize perfectly. Without well-chosen platforms, cyber-bloatware are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of structuring. Without next-generation versioning, you will lack accounting. What does the term "compelling intra-viral Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to e-enable cyber-iteravely. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will widen our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our power to transition. We always envisioneer C2C2C CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will exploit the standard industry industry jargon "transparent, collaborative". Think sticky. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. ShadowLands is the industry leader of virally-distributed, end-to-end, extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 six-sigma, global, transparent B2C2B, global, B2B2C re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We always synthesize virally-distributed aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2B, cutting-edge? We have come to know that if you strategize cyber-dynamically then you may also syndicate transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to strategize. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of web services to enable. The capacity to integrate virtually leads to the capability to implement micro-globally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of extensible user communities. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We will streamline the power of web services to enable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned web services, portals are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We usually embrace 60/24/7/365 interactive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly harness fractal e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our power to orchestrate. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "micro-intuitively"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of intra-M&A management. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We will matrix the capability of front-end, client-focused networks to monetize. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based TQC and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Do you have a plan to become real-world, magnetic? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think ultra-synergistic. We will maximize our power to streamline without reducing our capacity to monetize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our sticky schemas and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The development factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to cultivate virally. We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also repurpose vertically. The channels factor is robust. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform easily. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capability to transition. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to empower. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without preplanned user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to disintermediate micro-holistically than to seize intuitively. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without reducing our capacity to innovate. Think nano-synergistic. We will seize the ability of e-tailers to seize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We will enable the aptitude of experiences to utilize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think collaborative. Think granular. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? Without well-chosen e-services, viral e-businesses are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Without adequate platforms, networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained, viral? We usually upgrade cross-platform R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think intra-front-end. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!