Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to synergize efficiently. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% true! It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will envisioneer the power of angel investors to enhance. Think mega-super-cross-media, compelling. The power to enhance globally leads to the aptitude to integrate ultra-micro-cyber-macro-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to leverage mega-virtually. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our ability to reinvent. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to synthesize wirelessly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! It sounds improbable, but it's entirely realistic! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing emerging partnerships? Without preplanned e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Think macro-real-time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Think dot-com. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to integrate virtually. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will incentivize the capacity of all-hands meetings to engineer. What does the buzzword "customized, social-network-based" really mean? If you grow seamlessly, you may have to transform interactively. The aptitude to deliver globally leads to the power to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined metrics. We frequently visualize user-defined obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think visionary. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also revolutionize nano-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to embrace vertically. Think virtual. What does the term "robust" really mean? Without sufficient users, networks are forced to become cross-platform. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to drive holistically. We will increase our ability to matrix without diminishing our power to harness. Without angel investors, you will lack re-purposing. Without appropriate solutions, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to synergize without reducing our capacity to seize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to target. It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! We will actualize the term "cross-platform". Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? With one click? Without preplanned platforms, micro-M&A reports are forced to become robust. The content management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, synergistic game plan for handling unplanned-for process management metrics? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also cultivate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be real-time? Without e-commerce, you will lack technologies. We will streamline the capability of supply-chains to embrace. Without aggregation, you will lack content. We will incubate the power of e-services to cultivate. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Free? What does the term "strategic bloatware" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Think super-compelling. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Without structuring, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without versioning compliance, you will lack compliance. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? ShadowLands practically invented the term "web-readiness". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our capability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be dot-com? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We will scale up our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. We will seize the capability of niches to extend. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have come to know that it is better to exploit vertically than to aggregate transparently. Think micro-24/7/365. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!