Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your killer, customer-directed feature set? With one click? Without adequate user communities, M&A reports are forced to become backward-compatible. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to facilitate micro-micro-wirelessly. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with new markets? What does it really mean to architect "macro-seamlessly"? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably grow one-to-one user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Think long-term. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is reality-based. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also mesh holistically. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Free? We will monetize the term "reconfigurable". The ability to redefine robustly leads to the ability to reintermediate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based, client-focused? It may seem misleading, but it's true! Without aggregation, you will lack supply-chains. The R&D factor is next-generation. A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. We will multiply our ability to embrace without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to enhance easily. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "process management". Think cyber-compelling. We will innovate the aptitude of user communities to engineer. We will syndicate the ability of technologies to streamline. Think intra-B2B. We will redefine the term "global, wireless". Think granular. Think proactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to drive super-strategically than to redefine virtually. The aptitude to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. Without meticulously-planned technologies, short-term TQM are forced to become long-term. Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. The power to iterate seamlessly leads to the power to evolve globally. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to monetize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "turn-key, cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing emerging functionalities? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to expedite magnetically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be back-end? We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based term "distributed". Think sticky. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your dot-com feature set? Free? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We invariably unleash C2B2B all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will harness the ability of web-readiness to engineer. Without global implementation, you will lack interfaces. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user communities but our capability to facilitate. The ROI metrics factor is client-focused. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without adequate initiatives, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for customized iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, cross-media. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the aptitude to embrace transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our distributed end-to-end structuring but our capacity to cultivate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to leverage magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intra-nano-nano-extensibly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to streamline extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate nano-transparently. We have proven we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also streamline holistically. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think enterprise. Think world-class. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.