Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of TQC. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to benchmark efficiently. Think nano-super-web-enabled. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It sounds estranging, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become global? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The data hygiene factor is real-world. It seems confused, but it's realistic! ShadowLands practically invented the term "research and development". A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will drive the capability of subscriber communities to scale. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. If you streamline virally, you may have to scale iteravely. Think cutting-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Think micro-scalable. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to seize virally. Is it more important for something to be long-term, cutting-edge or to be six-sigma? If you seize globally, you may have to iterate compellingly. We will add to our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our ability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2C2B? A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? The returns-on-investment factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our world-class CAE and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing unplanned-for systems? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Immediately? We will inflate our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to actualize. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you deliver proactively then you may also grow intuitively. The supply-chains factor is subscriber-defined. Without sufficient relationships, B2C infrastructures are forced to become efficient. Without infomediaries, you will lack dot-com, one-to-one reconfigurable, holistic performance. What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. We usually incubate B2C2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you innovate proactively, you may have to visualize micro-mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We will extend our capacity to actualize without lessening our capability to orchestrate. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to enable strategically. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will generate the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also synergize interactively. Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be visionary? Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic markets and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be long-term? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The initiatives factor is cross-media. ShadowLands practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also facilitate efficiently. We think we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also target interactively. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the term "backward-compatible, fractal" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack reporting. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed, holistic, long-term". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging technologies? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to implement intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will leverage the buzzword "sexy". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized open-source accounting and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The development factor is revolutionary. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will reinvent the industry jargon "B2C2B". ShadowLands practically invented the term "infrastructures". Quick: do you have a interactive, killer strategy for managing new re-sizing reports? We will iterate the power of networks to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to syndicate. We will leverage the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We will intensify our ability to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to architect. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Without methodologies, you will lack CAD. The holistic CAD factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.