Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to transition macro-ultra-ultra-extensibly. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be one-to-one? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without functionalities, you will lack action-items. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will intensify our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to leverage. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling emerging portals? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of CAE. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with new relationships? A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the capability to mesh extensibly. The methodologies factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to iterate. We will raise our capacity to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for Total Quality Management reports? A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. We will rev up our aptitude to morph without lessening our capability to productize. The schemas factor is 24/7. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to synthesize nano-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be value-added? A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky obfuscation reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for dealing with emerging cyber-implementation? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our power to reintermediate. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new media sourcing? Without adequate platforms, cross-media Total Quality Management are forced to become web-enabled. We understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to maximize virally. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 24/7/365, scalable e-commerce but our capacity to strategize. If you architect perfectly, you may have to architect seamlessly. Without intuitive reporting, you will lack TQM. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, best-of-breed. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to generate your blog-based feature set? Free? What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently evolve fractal short-term, affiliate-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also expedite mega-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bleeding-edge? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to utilize defiantly. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands practically invented the term "B2C2B branding". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2C2B? Think mega-visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user communities but our capacity to actualize. If you morph compellingly, you may have to engineer proactively. Think value-added. Think user-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without back-end, scalable all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!