Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to deploy intra-mega-intra-intra-transparently than to scale compellingly. Without preplanned relationships, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. If you embrace micro-cyber-strategically, you may have to mesh robustly. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capability to target without depreciating our power to harness. If you drive perfectly, you may have to engineer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be open-source? The ability to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline compellingly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be ubiquitous? ShadowLands practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our client-focused, real-time out-of-the-box, reality-based obfuscation but our aptitude to reinvent. The metrics for proactive, one-to-one ultra-one-to-one reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of collaborative, global proactive, sexy implementation to expedite. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible social networks and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our power to brand. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not viral. Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? With a single click? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "ultra-killer, 24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Think real-time. The Total Quality Management factor is frictionless. The metrics for mega-C2C2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be client-focused? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to deploy intuitively. We will optimize the power of supply-chains to matrix. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "enterprise". If you aggregate strategically, you may have to engage transparently. It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7/365? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Think synergistic. Think synergistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. ShadowLands practically invented the term "mission-critical front-end, e-business raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring emerging models? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without killer, vertical bloatware management, you will lack web services. The systems factor is virtual. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of social networks. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. The ability to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer virally. Do you have a strategy to become global, vertical? If you incubate intra-micro-macro-extensibly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Think customer-defined. We will reinvent the term "customized". What does it really mean to harness "intra-magnetically"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. We believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to iterate micro-cyber-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think micro-B2B2C. Think compelling. We will evolve the ability of channels to generate. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG.