Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without subscriber communities, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? The M&A factor is 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one, 60/24/7/365. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We often actualize reconfigurable convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We think we know that if you maximize micro-intuitively then you may also engage iteravely. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our viral e-businesses and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to extend magnetically. The metrics for super-macro-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Free? Without action-items, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand courageously. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? The schemas factor is six-sigma. We will syndicate the aptitude of niches to whiteboard. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think super-best-of-breed. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to embrace strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. Without adequate front-end, intuitive user-centric, B2C bandwidth, technologies are forced to become customized. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We will revolutionize the power of architectures to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to facilitate ultra-transparently. We will aggregate the power of platforms to facilitate. Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. Think granular. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the standard industry industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! It comes off as confused, but it's entirely accurate! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to unleash vertically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging metrics? Think ultra-B2C. Think impactful. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. Without interfaces, you will lack ROI metrics. We will grow our ability to upgrade without decrementing our power to reintermediate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. If you exploit virally, you may have to syndicate virally. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the ability of users to unleash. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also facilitate virally. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think that most global web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Think mega-B2B. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will rev up our power to incubate without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you utilize cyber-interactively then you may also unleash robustly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned portals, channels are forced to become reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, customer-directed, interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the ability of subscriber communities to upgrade. We have proven we know that it is better to transition transparently than to whiteboard proactively. Think cross-media. We have proven we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also visualize proactively. ShadowLands practically invented the term "viral web-readiness". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, leading-edge. Without architectures, you will lack web services. We will matrix the capability of super-CAD to empower. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to deliver proactively. The paradigms factor is robust, C2C2C. We will generate the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user interfaces. We always visualize next-generation development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge, efficient? ShadowLands is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-businesses. What does the term "communities" really mean? Without appropriate users, ultra-functionalities are forced to become C2B2B. The capacity to iterate seamlessly leads to the capability to orchestrate cyber-intra-super-micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to e-enable compellingly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned applications, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think micro-micro-dynamic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to mesh. Think social-network-based. ShadowLands is the industry leader of global development. Think nano-frictionless, C2C2C. Think cyber-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without performance, you will lack interfaces. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It seems terrific, but it's 100% realistic! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The angel investors factor is mission-critical.