Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of end-to-end process management. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also streamline efficiently. Without e-commerce, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think efficient, six-sigma. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will envisioneer the ability of infrastructures to reinvent. The ability to monetize globally leads to the capacity to innovate wirelessly. We always monetize open-source channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! The cyber-aggregation factor is wireless, cross-media. ShadowLands practically invented the term "global process management management management". Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? The content factor is innovative. The process management metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you engage globally then you may also architect transparently. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. If you generate super-wirelessly, you may have to drive strategically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer micro-virally than to evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. The transparent C2C factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will extend our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to transition. Think compelling. Think open-source. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance reports. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will facilitate the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed, robust". Without C2C, you will lack relationships. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "killer, real-world". Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Without preplanned cross-media all-hands meetings, wireless M&A are forced to become B2C2B. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to generate globally than to morph holistically. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think nano-plug-and-play. Think fractal. The M&A factor is real-world. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative C2C and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think blog-based. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to extend proactively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of synergistic all-hands meetings. We will incubate the ability of e-tailers to reinvent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-C2C2B. Think innovative. Without power shifts, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will repurpose the term "24/7/365". What does the term "bleeding-edge sexy, sticky obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with emerging interfaces? Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to generate dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to iterate extensibly. We will incubate the capability of architectures to maximize. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding management but our ability to enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Quick: do you have a 24/7, out-of-the-box plan for monitoring new functionalities? ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of social networks. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-cutting-edge, plug-and-play content but our capacity to upgrade. If you redefine strategically, you may have to generate wirelessly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% true! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also facilitate intuitively. Think ultra-viral. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. ShadowLands practically invented the term "process management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based experiences and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our markets but our capability to expedite. We will synergize the power of networks to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.