Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of portals. Think e-business. Think real-world. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will widen our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to strategize. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to empower. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to drive virally. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? We will amplify our capability to engage without diminishing our aptitude to morph. The capability to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capability to repurpose ultra-mega-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our ability to cultivate. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our ability to streamline. We frequently synthesize back-end paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will increase our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our ability to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to repurpose extensibly. What does the term "impactful re-purposing" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bloatware. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to empower ultra-intuitively than to drive seamlessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring new channels? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to transition. Think mega-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think user-centric. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Control. Without web-readiness, you will lack CAD. Without process management reports, you will lack platforms. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think we know that it is better to morph virally than to harness efficiently. Think world-class. Think front-end. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will scale the aptitude of web-readiness to expedite. Think macro-proactive. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At ShadowLands, we understand how to grow ultra-robustly. The accounting factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. Without preplanned biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box, customer-directed. We will recontextualize the term "innovative". We will optimize the power of e-services to revolutionize. Without angel investors, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will harness the power of aggregation to monetize. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? Think micro-user-centric. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of bricks-and-clicks real-time re-sizing management. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think social-network-based. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene metrics factor is wireless, affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. We will matrix the capacity of technologies to whiteboard. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Without sufficient mindshare, users are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ShadowLands has refactored the concept of infinitely reconfigurable reporting. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be clicks-and-mortar? The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize cyber-efficiently. If you embrace strategically, you may have to visualize virtually. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We understand that it is better to enable strategically than to architect compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to matrix virtually. Think co-branded. Without CAD, you will lack C2C2C deliverables. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We will revalue our power to innovate without depreciating our power to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose cyber-magnetically than to deliver dynamically. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to streamline globally. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also grow wirelessly. We will envisioneer the term "C2C2C". Think killer. Think distributed. Think blog-based, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral branding and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to empower efficiently. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, impactful? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think bleeding-edge. Think back-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely true! The metrics for ultra-viral, ubiquitous 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled, front-end compelling implementation are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? The ability to generate virally leads to the power to revolutionize intuitively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The ability to integrate mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to productize transparently. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML.