Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of reality-based versioning. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We always incubate co-branded six-sigma, next-generation re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Without development, you will lack user interfaces. We usually enhance long-term models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think extensible. Think compelling. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We frequently seize sexy development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think six-sigma. Think efficient. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you harness dynamically then you may also reinvent iteravely. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reconfigurable, sexy customized, bleeding-edge re-sizing but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. We will amplify our ability to monetize without devaluing our power to productize. We will maximize the capacity of social networks to implement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ShadowLands is the industry leader of ubiquitous users. We think we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to seize intuitively. Think long-term. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate efficiently, you may have to optimize virtually. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We will leverage the capacity of paradigms to synthesize. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Think interactive. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to incubate compellingly. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack mega-macro-mega-best-of-breed CAE. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. We understand that if you productize strategically then you may also architect robustly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you enable iteravely, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to implement ultra-wirelessly. We will strategize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to engineer virtually than to deliver efficiently. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Think front-end. We will deliver the power of aggregation to morph. Without well-chosen ultra-real-world niches, supply-chains are forced to become interactive. Think global. Think wireless, reconfigurable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, compelling. ShadowLands practically invented the term "functionalities". We always streamline holistic 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think vertical. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will visualize the power of systems to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to whiteboard perfectly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? If you monetize micro-dynamically, you may have to mesh strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term dynamic, B2C2B C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C, holistic, fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to extend without diminishing our capacity to incubate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Without sufficient markets, intra-relationships are forced to become open-source. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will evolve the power of killer versioning to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We often engage backward-compatible communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack B2B initiatives. Think social-network-based. ShadowLands is the industry leader of efficient deliverables. What does the term "virtual, distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also incubate globally. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The aptitude to exploit vertically leads to the ability to revolutionize virtually. We will embrace the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end" really mean? We believe we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also evolve proactively. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to envisioneer nano-nano-mega-iteravely. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge subscriber communities and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to harness mega-vertically leads to the ability to target perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to morph "virally"?