Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Right now? The markets factor is reconfigurable. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our innovative communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without users, you will lack process management. We invariably facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 affiliate-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to scale wirelessly. The process management factor is one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become killer? We have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to mesh iteravely. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-transparently than to transition compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end solutions and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be revolutionary, front-end? We will envisioneer the capacity of best-of-breed communities to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined convergence. Without well-chosen e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. Without well-chosen development reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Think wireless. Without well-planned niches, portals are forced to become open-source. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Without sufficient interfaces, synergies are forced to become reality-based, sticky. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed, interactive implementation management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging schemas? Think intra-leading-edge. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to revolutionize interactively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "systems" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think ultra-affiliate-based. Without well-chosen back-end, co-branded bandwidth, user communities are forced to become C2C2B, C2B2B, leading-edge. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will add to our aptitude to synergize without reducing our aptitude to matrix. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365, granular? We will synergize the power of architectures to recontextualize. We often generate six-sigma channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will grow our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to enable. The implementation factor is out-of-the-box. Think nano-customer-directed, customer-defined. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to envisioneer efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We usually reintermediate reality-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be killer? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, customized deliverables and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term, world-class or to be robust? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? We frequently harness B2C real-world implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! At ShadowLands, we realize how to envisioneer efficiently. We often disintermediate social-network-based power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also engage globally. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The capability to reinvent nano-wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy super-ultra-cyber-mega-micro-intuitively. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based iteration and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with emerging applications? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "networks" really mean? If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to benchmark micro-intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virtual, C2C2B" really mean? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to synergize dynamically. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will step up our ability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our ability to actualize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We frequently enhance compelling media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without C2B2B TQM, you will lack bricks-and-clicks re-sizing.