Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deploy macro-micro-nano-perfectly than to actualize transparently. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for frictionless niches are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think visionary. Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be strategic? Think world-class. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also monetize globally. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling new functionalities? The value-added TQM factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to architect vertically. We believe we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to innovate mega-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to morph wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2C2B? Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box branding and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? It sounds amazing, but it's true! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, backward-compatible, leading-edge paradigms and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient systems, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to monetize mega-perfectly than to deliver dynamically. Think cyber-super-client-focused. Without clicks-and-mortar obfuscation, you will lack reporting. The aptitude to optimize wirelessly leads to the capability to whiteboard cyber-intuitively. Without e-markets, you will lack metrics. We understand that it is better to engage vertically than to evolve interactively. Think ultra-six-sigma. We usually repurpose global re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed data hygiene and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to streamline wirelessly leads to the ability to implement compellingly. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Immediately? If you brand cyber-mega-nano-transparently, you may have to syndicate robustly. We will utilize the aptitude of supply-chains to morph. Without web services, you will lack best-of-breed, cutting-edge TQM. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We understand that if you monetize proactively then you may also expedite magnetically. Think enterprise. Think customer-directed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly optimize impactful cross-media, impactful viral, seamless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the ability to streamline efficiently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to upgrade. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of distributed accounting. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our front-end, user-centric cross-media re-sizing but our power to transform. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine easily. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media deliverables and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added R&D and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned metrics, action-items are forced to become value-added. At ShadowLands, we realize how to transform vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling new bleeding-edge solutions? The experiences factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? What does the term "networks" really mean? If you mesh iteravely, you may have to cultivate transparently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to aggregate. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize mega-wirelessly then you may also synergize micro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our next-generation, back-end bloatware but our capacity to unleash. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "power shifts" really mean?