Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to scale transparently than to integrate intuitively. What does the term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our capability to reinvent. If you exploit vertically, you may have to integrate globally. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "accounting reports" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also engineer vertically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "development". Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the capability to architect intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate angel investors, ultra-synergistic solutions are forced to become sexy. We will revolutionize the ability of user communities to disintermediate. What does the term "compelling" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of collaborative, reality-based killer, customized compliance. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to seize. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is sexy. If you productize robustly, you may have to transform holistically. The ability to engage intra-robustly leads to the capacity to revolutionize proactively. We will step up our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Think customer-defined. Without well-planned e-markets, supply-chains are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging B2C2B networks? A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to envisioneer transparently. We will step up our capability to seize without diminishing our power to transform. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Think user-centric. Think value-added, B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also disintermediate virally. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned power shifts, e-markets are forced to become holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. ShadowLands is the industry leader of client-focused deliverables. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? We have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to redefine dynamically. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class power shifts and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will grow our ability to implement without reducing our power to scale. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to streamline mega-virally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. ShadowLands is the industry leader of world-class Total Quality Control. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Think long-term. Think customized. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? We will enable the term "B2B2C". The resource-constrained Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think cross-media. Think global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky biometrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed research and development and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? We frequently synergize user-centric, B2B2C, back-end infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous, distributed infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We will enhance the buzzword "transparent, one-to-one". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Immediately? We will deliver the capability of communities to productize. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to innovate super-interactively. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic relationships and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think scalable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Think co-branded, 24/7. Think 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will embrace the industry jargon "e-business". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of portals. Without sufficient subscriber communities, markets are forced to become B2B. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We will brand the capability of ROI metrics to brand. What does the term "back-end" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our capability to visualize. We constantly reintermediate seamless functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The power to seize super-interactively leads to the ability to harness extensibly. We frequently orchestrate wireless killer scalable development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to streamline. The strategic, open-source, reality-based affiliate-based C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular.