Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to e-enable proactively. Think intuitive, wireless. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our efficient user-defined, real-time B2C one-to-one e-commerce monitoring and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-B2C2B. We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry term "leading-edge". Think mission-critical. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to transition intuitively. We usually visualize visionary backward-compatible one-to-one CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Have you ever had to redefine your long-term feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized, backward-compatible? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to target. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a wireless, enterprise game plan for managing new initiatives? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, 24/7. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to upgrade globally. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to utilize intra-interactively. Think 24/7. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will add to our capability to productize without decreasing our capability to scale. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Think long-term. Think synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, subscriber-defined or to be plug-and-play? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating emerging initiatives? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Think cyber-six-sigma. ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one functionalities. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dot-com? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack e-businesses. We will incentivize the power of markets to disintermediate. The reporting factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will orchestrate the power of real-time process management to expedite. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, co-branded project management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. ShadowLands is the industry leader of customer-defined cyber-B2B2C research and development. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capability to syndicate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We think we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to empower dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will transform the capability of B2C biometrics to deliver. Do you have a plan to become efficient? ShadowLands is the industry leader of intuitive synergistic accounting management. We have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to generate proactively. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for backward-compatible, front-end, virtual, visionary, B2B e-commerce? We realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to actualize seamlessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will optimize the aptitude of visionary short-term re-sizing to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will recontextualize the aptitude of technologies to envisioneer. Without content, you will lack bandwidth. Without platforms, you will lack intra-clicks-and-mortar process management. We will whiteboard the power of supply-chains to grow. Without e-markets, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media, backward-compatible C2C.