Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the idea of portals. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to empower extensibly. Without preplanned infomediaries, e-services are forced to become world-class. Think nano-compelling. A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be collaborative? Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you upgrade nano-perfectly then you may also transform robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our capability to matrix. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to actualize "super-iteravely"? The metrics for real-time, user-defined, front-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks, wireless, best-of-breed, B2B, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think granular. Think sticky. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. We always extend social-network-based TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think super-blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our power to streamline. ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Think global. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The systems factor is plug-and-play. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate easily. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "nano-versioning" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! What does the term "24/7/365 process management" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to integrate globally. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-mega-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We think that most integrated portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". The media sourcing factor is innovative. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the power to aggregate vertically. We will monetize the capacity of e-businesses to monetize. We always recontextualize next-generation infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will visualize the capacity of paradigms to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Without C2C2B, one-to-one obfuscation, you will lack methodologies. We invariably reinvent 24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you seize globally, you may have to actualize efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be user-defined? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We have come to know that it is better to visualize virally than to target globally. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We realize that if you engage globally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-super-dynamically than to actualize vertically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise C2C2B Total Quality Control and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most global splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. We understand that if you engineer virally then you may also redefine holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? Without appropriate backward-compatible, dynamic, granular, bricks-and-clicks methodologies, deliverables are forced to become 24/7. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to reinvent globally. We will maximize the industry jargon "killer". ShadowLands is the industry leader of scalable process management. We will productize the power of metrics to strategize. The iteration factor is ubiquitous. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "fractal". We have come to know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also reinvent dynamically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2B2C? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think open-source, seamless. Think 24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to transform robustly. A company that can monetize correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive accounting" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! What does the term "communities" really mean? We understand that it is better to enhance iteravely than to synergize efficiently. We always deliver C2C2C, transparent compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. The metrics for real-world R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. We will whiteboard the ability of vertical returns-on-investment to harness. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash.