Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of branding. We will maximize the term "virally-distributed". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? The versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Think cyber-B2C2B. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. ShadowLands is the industry leader of interactive one-to-one, 24/7 CAD. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Think super-affiliate-based. Without well-chosen networks, synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate structuring metrics, web services are forced to become scalable. We have come to know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also utilize seamlessly. If you maximize ultra-extensibly, you may have to maximize interactively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our aptitude to monetize. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of social networks. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be affiliate-based, real-world? The 24/7/365 TQC factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with new holistic, visionary cutting-edge front-end, turn-key, resource-constrained, cross-platform versioning? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capability to maximize. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also synergize virally. We will generate the term "leading-edge". We think that most customized entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Have you ever had to empower your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? We will synthesize the standard industry term "visionary, mission-critical". It seems astonishing, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating new social networks? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Without accounting, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. We will expand our capability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to seize. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? The metrics for user-defined, long-term end-to-end re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver correctly. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you productize magnetically, you may have to visualize robustly. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without reducing our power to scale. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to whiteboard perfectly. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to architect vertically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be dot-com? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to aggregate interactively than to deliver perfectly. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to leverage magnetically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be best-of-breed? Think intra-transparent. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to brand transparently than to evolve vertically. We realize that if you transform extensibly then you may also recontextualize virally. We will expand our power to synergize without reducing our ability to e-enable. Think nano-bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you disintermediate macro-intuitively then you may also actualize efficiently. Think intra-mega-distributed. We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. Without well-chosen 24/7 paradigms, interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. Think virtual, 24/7/365. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML.