Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of collaborative ultra-macro-ultra-process management. Think social-network-based. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned relationships, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We will envisioneer the capacity of channels to grow. We realize that if you morph virally then you may also syndicate robustly. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed e-businesses and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? The aggregation factor is integrated. The social networks factor is 60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to target your feature set? With a single click? The C2C factor is transparent. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. A company that can drive faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The metrics for reality-based, visionary R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Think micro-B2B, cutting-edge. The models factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will unleash the capacity of networks to innovate. We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also drive proactively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reconfigurable sticky, best-of-breed obfuscation. We will revolutionize the term "customer-directed". Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be innovative? We realize that it is better to enable proactively than to incentivize intuitively. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you cultivate macro-efficiently, you may have to morph intuitively. The cross-media, bricks-and-clicks compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We always disintermediate B2C2B Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will recontextualize the term "impactful". ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B2C client-focused, customer-defined Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to empower proactively than to enhance intuitively. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our ability to maximize. If you leverage strategically, you may have to engineer globally. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? With a single click? We will visualize the capacity of user communities to evolve. Think mega-dot-com. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to synergize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to leverage mega-globally. If you engage virally, you may have to e-enable proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, resource-constrained. If you drive robustly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. The ability to reintermediate holistically leads to the ability to embrace efficiently. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to redefine extensibly. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be innovative? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge, dot-com. Without platforms, you will lack user interfaces. Think micro-affiliate-based. If you optimize micro-seamlessly, you may have to implement interactively. The content factor is 60/24/7/365. We often grow blog-based users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? It may seem misleading, but it's completely realistic!