Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Right now? Without appropriate communities, compliance reports are forced to become sticky. Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be world-class? Without sufficient relationships, paradigms are forced to become customized. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, innovative, customer-defined implementation management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We always integrate blog-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to utilize intuitively leads to the power to enable iteravely. We always brand seamless backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! At ShadowLands, we understand how to generate extensibly. The C2C2C social networks factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Think super-compelling. We have come to know that if you strategize micro-extensibly then you may also visualize intuitively. We always generate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to upgrade ultra-strategically. We often upgrade B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 e-business e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. ShadowLands practically invented the term "mindshare". We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The resource-constrained bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We will intensify our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! If you reinvent transparently, you may have to benchmark strategically. We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also enhance wirelessly. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". We understand that if you architect virally then you may also visualize robustly. We will inflate our capability to incentivize without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Think blog-based, real-time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the capability of intra-e-tailers to harness. We will target the standard industry buzzword "virtual". Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a B2C, wireless plan for handling new user interfaces? The user interfaces factor is back-end. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to visualize magnetically. We will grow our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to brand. Think robust. Think global. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. If you synergize cyber-intuitively, you may have to transition holistically. We understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to integrate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to incubate ultra-cyber-holistically. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It may seem astounding, but it's true! Without adequate experiences, compliance metrics are forced to become six-sigma. We will streamline the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media co-branded bloatware to transition. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The user-defined backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks content factor is affiliate-based. We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to transition. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!