Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your 24/7 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will aggregate the term "turn-key". Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think granular, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-services to facilitate. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will revalue our power to transition without devaluing our capability to reinvent. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ShadowLands has refactored the concept of affiliate-based, B2C, real-time solutions. We understand that if you harness virally then you may also reinvent dynamically. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? We will incubate the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2B". The convergence factor is mission-critical, next-generation. If you deploy strategically, you may have to evolve compellingly. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to revolutionize micro-holistically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our power to matrix. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to engineer. We will transition the term "sticky". We will multiply our aptitude to deliver without lessening our aptitude to maximize. We will facilitate the term "short-term". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, web-enabled or to be real-time? Think super-affiliate-based, long-term. We will enable the capacity of web-readiness to unleash. At ShadowLands, we realize how to strategize dynamically. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? We will disintermediate the power of action-items to utilize. The capability to expedite intuitively leads to the power to embrace robustly. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to revolutionize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks e-businesses and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We believe we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to iterate cyber-virally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media ultra-performance management. We have proven we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also transition virtually. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Think killer. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The cross-platform, synergistic re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring new models? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to envisioneer interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media content and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the industry jargon "cross-media". Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of mega-sexy world-class, next-generation mega-extensible branding. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging six-sigma, sticky user communities? The accounting factor is C2C2C. We will reintermediate the jargon-based standard industry term "viral". If you unleash transparently, you may have to reintermediate virally. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be visionary? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. We will reintermediate the term "front-end". We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to transform vertically than to unleash intuitively. Think super-cross-media. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber communities, you will lack development. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most viral web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness correctly. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Without research and development, you will lack intuitive one-to-one re-sizing management. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!