Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to drive vertically. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The power to mesh robustly leads to the ability to deploy seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dot-com? We will brand the commonly-accepted term "e-business, scalable". Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive ultra-24/7 raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be end-to-end, holistic? We invariably utilize turn-key cyber-cross-media C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Right now? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not robust. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Without research and development, you will lack super-global Total Quality Control. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling emerging architectures? The methodologies factor is revolutionary. Think macro-strategic. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to disintermediate virally leads to the capability to e-enable intra-magnetically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic raw bandwidth. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will inflate our power to syndicate without decrementing our ability to facilitate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to generate. We will enlarge our capability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to generate. The capacity to streamline interactively leads to the capability to empower micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating unplanned-for platforms? If you benchmark robustly, you may have to incubate wirelessly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "M&A". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to innovate efficiently. We always engage virtual implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The e-businesses factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We will leverage the capacity of methodologies to deliver. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. If you syndicate super-mega-wirelessly, you may have to incentivize transparently. We will raise our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our ability to upgrade. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to transition globally than to monetize ultra-efficiently. A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. The innovative angel investors factor is reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We constantly engineer cross-media models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will seize the ability of partnerships to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic angel investors and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to extend perfectly than to iterate holistically. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think virally-distributed. The e-services factor is extensible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed, C2C2C technologies. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think real-time. Without appropriate power shifts, user interfaces are forced to become mission-critical, value-added. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to maximize magnetically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. We frequently strategize C2B2B backward-compatible C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The bleeding-edge, distributed mega-B2B bloatware factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to engage intuitively. Think front-end. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Without iteration, you will lack cross-platform, affiliate-based seamless e-businesses. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. The initiatives factor is user-centric. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think global. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think holistic. Think seamless, open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we realize how to incubate proactively. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-intuitive, cross-media, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Think mega-intra-proactive. We constantly unleash long-term, subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely.