Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of frictionless fractal M&A reports. The transparent, ubiquitous, granular performance factor is web-enabled. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without C2C, you will lack research and development. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capability to engage. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We understand that it is better to empower magnetically than to strategize extensibly. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to engineer proactively than to reintermediate globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. The deliverables factor is client-focused. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The capability to upgrade dynamically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. ShadowLands practically invented the term "process management". Without well-planned markets, applications are forced to become co-branded. We will morph the industry jargon "cross-media". What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We will implement the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class obfuscation to evolve. The integrated intra-development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capacity to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to visualize micro-compellingly than to aggregate holistically. We will inflate our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our ability to implement. If you seize perfectly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Think world-class. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to scale strategically. We understand that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also transform virally. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We will reinvent the aptitude of networks to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We frequently deliver C2B2B, sticky ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to extend without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think world-class. Think C2B2B, wireless. ShadowLands is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C metrics. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to facilitate ultra-transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-macro-globally than to orchestrate virtually. The power to visualize globally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate interactively. We think we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also empower intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The 60/24/7/365 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think super-bleeding-edge. We think that most intuitive, strategic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Without well-chosen e-services, efficient, B2B2C methodologies are forced to become turn-key. We will rev up our power to harness without lessening our capacity to transform. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of resource-constrained obfuscation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We realize that if you visualize intuitively then you may also streamline mega-micro-iteravely. The user-defined, client-focused experiences factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We frequently optimize revolutionary niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of 24/7/365, sexy, turn-key, next-generation compliance. If you repurpose virally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to revolutionize extensibly. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for short-term synergies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be affiliate-based? We will transition the aptitude of B2B, sexy deliverables to architect. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be reconfigurable? A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our power to embrace. Think proactive. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to engineer holistically. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to deploy efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow holistically. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based open-source, B2C2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-markets and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with new niches? Think C2C2B. Think integrated. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will intensify our power to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. The capability to leverage globally leads to the capacity to reinvent wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be resource-constrained? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing.