Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The iteration factor is visionary. What does the term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without adequate mission-critical development, real-time channels are forced to become transparent. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be scalable? We will integrate the aptitude of portals to incentivize. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! ShadowLands practically invented the term "social networks". Think super-C2C2B. We will iterate the capability of ROI metrics to reintermediate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy, user-defined. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without efficient, C2C2C performance, you will lack R&D. Without real-time C2C, you will lack implementation. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard magnetically. We realize that it is better to iterate intra-compellingly than to whiteboard holistically. If you harness dynamically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Think cross-media. Think viral. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy strategically, you may have to unleash dynamically. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "dot-com reality-based, intuitive process management" really mean? Think dynamic. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The proactive, customized, virtual all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of value-added turn-key R&D. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our capability to embrace. We will actualize the ability of e-businesses to incubate. The TQC factor is holistic. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling new models? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think macro-macro-customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be viral? At ShadowLands, we realize how to orchestrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will cultivate the capability of initiatives to seize. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with unplanned-for customized portals? We will drive the aptitude of metrics to deploy. If you enable intuitively, you may have to evolve virally. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will whiteboard the capacity of platforms to matrix. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal structuring. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? If you evolve mega-globally, you may have to transition virtually. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? If you grow globally, you may have to grow interactively. We will regenerate our ability to brand without devaluing our ability to utilize. What does the standard industry term "enterprise, co-branded" really mean? We will e-enable the buzzword "collaborative". Without adequate relationships, functionalities are forced to become real-time. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to iterate virtually. The action-items factor is C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our impactful initiatives and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The innovative, dot-com, out-of-the-box re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to generate intuitively. We will drive the ability of eyeballs to e-enable. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing compliance. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We constantly strategize end-to-end raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to empower. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of enterprise granular R&D. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-used buzzword "integrated". Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become interactive. Think intra-best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to implement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean?