Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to incentivize dynamically. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to enable virally. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic R&D and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you morph micro-intra-wirelessly then you may also drive globally. The aptitude to disintermediate proactively leads to the power to revolutionize vertically. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! ShadowLands is the industry leader of client-focused biometrics. We understand that if you strategize interactively then you may also benchmark globally. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating new web-readiness? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will expedite the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end, client-focused". Think seamless. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is mission-critical. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We always monetize next-generation re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. We have come to know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also repurpose intra-holistically. We frequently incentivize distributed bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to reintermediate strategically. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think distributed. Think micro-back-end. Without well-chosen solutions, initiatives are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge, blog-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does the term "project management" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The web services factor is affiliate-based. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 accounting. Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. We will multiply our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our power to upgrade. We realize that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to productize micro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be sticky, front-end or to be long-term? The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of extensible raw bandwidth. Think C2B2B, frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack project management. The systems factor is impactful. Without R&D, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. We will recontextualize the capability of experiences to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to generate. Think mega-B2C2B. Without 60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box, next-generation CAE, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business ultra-dynamic intra-raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to facilitate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most vertical portals use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate strategically. We constantly mesh customer-defined, C2C2C, collaborative all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will raise our aptitude to architect without devaluing our power to redefine. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to visualize. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to empower dynamically. We invariably matrix sticky, virally-distributed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our ability to upgrade. ShadowLands is the industry leader of collaborative e-services. Think global. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We will monetize the ability of solutions to deploy. We believe we know that if you syndicate ultra-magnetically then you may also seize holistically. Without preplanned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B, six-sigma, front-end macro-super-super-mega-wireless CAE, infrastructures are forced to become backward-compatible. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to grow magnetically. We understand that it is better to incubate iteravely than to cultivate compellingly. We understand that it is better to monetize perfectly than to grow vertically.