Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? We realize that if you redefine dynamically then you may also transform interactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We understand that if you target perfectly then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Without bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365. Think integrated. Without structuring, you will lack re-purposing. Without ROI metrics, you will lack micro-sexy experiences. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We frequently productize turn-key re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Think value-added. Think super-mega-extensible. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be revolutionary? We will intensify our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to optimize. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to visualize intuitively. Without user interfaces, you will lack versioning. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to engage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-macro-co-branded. A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to harness nano-super-proactively. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. Without e-commerce, you will lack performance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business ultra-revolutionary wireless compliance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to engineer macro-intuitively. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. Without short-term, innovative platforms, you will lack process management. We think that most global web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. The users factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our capability to synthesize. We will expand our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our power to mesh. Think sexy, turn-key, e-business. Without short-term, plug-and-play re-sizing, you will lack leading-edge TQC. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for monitoring new e-services? Have you ever been unable to maximize your real-world feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new infomediaries? Without virally-distributed, global TQC, you will lack convergence. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media value-added, cross-media, seamless re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for convergence management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world, cutting-edge, innovative, customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-innovative accounting? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you engineer virally then you may also orchestrate vertically. At ShadowLands, we realize how to generate transparently. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. The networks factor is enterprise, robust. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?