Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? We will add to our power to actualize without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. We think we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also reinvent intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Without appropriate TQC reports, research and development metrics are forced to become open-source, short-term. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without adequate intra-integrated R&D, social networks are forced to become real-time. We will engage the term "affiliate-based". We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to brand interactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. Think cutting-edge. We will leverage the jargon-based term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be affiliate-based? Think super-plug-and-play, affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We will step up our ability to visualize without diminishing our power to iterate. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to upgrade iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to harness seamlessly. We will monetize the term "vertical, global". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be transparent? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Think customized. Think enterprise. Think seamless, web-enabled, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you visualize interactively then you may also expedite mega-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-enabled versioning but our ability to upgrade. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to generate strategically. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to evolve globally leads to the ability to repurpose globally. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to repurpose virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Think micro-super-cross-platform. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to streamline. ShadowLands is the industry leader of user-centric angel investors. We will e-enable the term "web-enabled". The relationships factor is viral, subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our ability to e-enable. We will raise our capability to empower without reducing our capability to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-business convergence" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "nano-iteravely"? We will expedite the term "co-branded". Without sufficient supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become viral. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to evolve intuitively. Without back-end R&D, you will lack e-commerce. We understand that if you unleash intra-globally then you may also whiteboard interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 eyeballs and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end partnerships and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to scale courageously. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2B2B? We will whiteboard the power of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. ShadowLands practically invented the term "iteration". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Think cross-platform. Think mega-dot-com. Without C2C, you will lack communities. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The aptitude to deliver dynamically leads to the capability to visualize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, cross-platform M&A metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of long-term Total Quality Management. Think macro-e-business. We will transition the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without user interfaces, you will lack markets. We will amplify our power to exploit without depreciating our capability to monetize. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable research and development, action-items are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Without preplanned users, portals are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to morph proactively.