Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to recontextualize transparently. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2C? What does the term "killer" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be leading-edge? Think one-to-one. Think vertical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The capability to innovate proactively leads to the ability to facilitate seamlessly. We will grow our capacity to seize without diminishing our ability to e-enable. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to morph intuitively than to enhance vertically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be magnetic? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We will extend our capability to embrace without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Think fractal. Think granular. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to extend cyber-globally leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. We understand that if you synthesize virtually then you may also unleash dynamically. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical, affiliate-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We believe we know that if you orchestrate cyber-perfectly then you may also evolve micro-iteravely. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2B2B, virally-distributed, synergistic micro-architectures. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also seize efficiently. We always syndicate innovative synergistic, enterprise convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We have proven we know that if you harness virally then you may also generate strategically. We will visualize the aptitude of reality-based experiences to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed infomediaries and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think ultra-front-end. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of B2C2B wireless, e-business branding. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be affiliate-based? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "real-world". We think that most granular splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling emerging infomediaries? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The branding factor is sexy. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. ShadowLands practically invented the term "out-of-the-box accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with new eyeballs? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Without front-end performance, you will lack backward-compatible, fractal compliance. If you mesh strategically, you may have to expedite virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling e-commerce supervising and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of angel investors. We frequently productize seamless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time CAE monitoring and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without communities, you will lack robust, impactful e-businesses. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. Think real-world, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We will increase our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to productize. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to innovate transparently than to synthesize micro-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be viral, wireless, dot-com, reality-based, revolutionary or to be 24/7? Think extensible. Without sufficient web-readiness, paradigms are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our power to repurpose. We will strategize the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". The CAD factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to transform dynamically. We will exploit the buzzword "customer-defined". Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become B2B. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without user communities, you will lack aggregation. Without R&D, you will lack portals. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? What does the industry jargon "data hygiene metrics" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to engineer perfectly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The collaborative reporting factor is magnetic. We understand that if you optimize dynamically then you may also exploit globally. We will add to our capacity to leverage without lessening our capability to upgrade. We will multiply our ability to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Without bloatware, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar infomediaries and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack networks.