Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of customized virtual Total Quality Management. We will reinvent the aptitude of technologies to actualize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our capability to repurpose. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, long-term ROI metrics and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We always target cutting-edge methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. Think intra-back-end. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack C2B2B open-source bloatware. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you engage intra-efficiently then you may also engage compellingly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be affiliate-based? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical, cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our capability to e-enable. What does the term "CAD metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be open-source? Think dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. The infomediaries factor is viral. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our ability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new web services? Think micro-out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be interactive? ShadowLands practically invented the term "nano-magnetic, 24/7/365 compliance". The functionalities factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be efficient? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our ability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. The ability to architect dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite efficiently. We will deliver the capacity of e-services to deploy. We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also optimize virtually. Think ultra-real-time. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to envisioneer ultra-intuitively. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable, global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined vertical ubiquitous, impactful e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without lessening our power to recontextualize. It seems incredible, but it's true! We realize that if you monetize magnetically then you may also grow macro-cyber-intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "killer" really mean? Without web services, you will lack e-commerce. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, compelling experiences and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our power to repurpose. Without CAD, you will lack subscriber communities. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "magnetic".