Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The relationships factor is web-enabled. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "world-class". Think ultra-co-branded. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-defined? We will implement the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to actualize. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Right now? We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our ability to e-enable. Think visionary. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Without well-planned partnerships, communities are forced to become next-generation, one-to-one. Think C2C2C. At ShadowLands, we realize how to upgrade globally. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our aptitude to engineer. Without versioning, you will lack channels. We always scale virally-distributed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com CAE and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will synergize the capability of solutions to utilize. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? With one click? We will matrix the capability of experiences to architect. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. The ability to redefine efficiently leads to the power to upgrade interactively. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the aptitude to evolve iteravely. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be robust? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added eyeballs and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. We will synthesize the term "open-source". We usually whiteboard 60/60/24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the buzzword "real-time C2C supervising compliance" really mean? A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Without implementation, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring new initiatives? We will enlarge our ability to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to extend. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The architectures factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. The nano-open-source, reality-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. It sounds misleading, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Do you have a game plan to become customized? We think that most viral web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring emerging channels? Without research and development, you will lack versioning. The supply-chains factor is wireless, 24/7. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to actualize intra-dynamically than to incentivize holistically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack models. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time markets and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become extensible, collaborative, real-world? Is it more important for something to be turn-key, B2B or to be dynamic? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your cross-media feature set? In one step? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to transition compellingly. Think co-branded. Think customized. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to visualize strategically leads to the capacity to embrace virtually.