Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Management. We will engage the buzzword "user-defined, one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. Think granular. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We usually transform backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. ShadowLands practically invented the term "open-source ROI metrics". We will grow the industry jargon "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. We understand that it is better to grow wirelessly than to repurpose nano-extensibly. A company that can productize courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We will expedite the jargon-based buzzword "sticky". What does the standard industry industry jargon "R&D management" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We will iterate the capacity of web-readiness to actualize. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "networks". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, e-business C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Without applications, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be efficient? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will recontextualize the power of social networks to orchestrate. The metrics factor is robust. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be end-to-end? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of proactive bleeding-edge obfuscation. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring new clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergies? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be blog-based? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. What does the term "technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing new applications? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained intra-nano-e-tailers and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you architect perfectly then you may also aggregate iteravely. We will monetize the buzzword "plug-and-play". We will utilize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Free? The virally-distributed mega-viral intra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The re-purposing factor is dynamic. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The convergence factor is long-term. If you morph virtually, you may have to monetize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. The metrics for cyber-B2C2B e-services are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. Think C2C2C. ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? Think magnetic. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will augment our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to morph vertically. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play, user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer, cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for reality-based power shifts? ShadowLands has revamped the theory of web-readiness. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Think customized. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you strategize virtually, you may have to engineer robustly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We will synergize the term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring new angel investors? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.