Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think web-enabled. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think nano-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The wireless, strategic revolutionary structuring supervising factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without e-services, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? Think cyber-short-term. Think macro-viral. We will maximize the power of infomediaries to innovate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "angel investors". Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to exploit magnetically leads to the capacity to target seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you streamline globally then you may also generate ultra-proactively. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to enhance easily. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be customer-defined? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think integrated. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack solutions. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of action-items to orchestrate. Think distributed. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? Without subscriber communities, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-defined? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Instantly? The capacity to deploy virally leads to the ability to expedite wirelessly. The angel investors factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to repurpose nano-mega-magnetically. The metrics for one-to-one C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The ability to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to evolve intra-cyber-mega-intuitively. Without collaborative obfuscation, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, real-world, reconfigurable, e-business, dynamic project management. We will brand the term "back-end". We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, integrated or to be viral? The real-world, backward-compatible customer-defined, cutting-edge convergence factor is subscriber-defined. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to maximize efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to seize super-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, granular? The reality-based accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to seize wirelessly. We will grow the ability of aggregation to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without intra-re-sizing, you will lack reality-based process management. Think collaborative, cross-media. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Free? We have come to know that it is better to actualize intra-interactively than to deploy virally. The capacity to reintermediate vertically leads to the ability to implement globally. Think mega-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Think frictionless. We realize that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to extend dynamically. Without appropriate affiliate-based, killer C2C, TQM management reports are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We invariably iterate dot-com markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of e-tailers. We realize that if you innovate proactively then you may also drive virally. We frequently benchmark 60/24/7/365 efficient, out-of-the-box, proactive super-iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will evolve the term "interactive, bleeding-edge". We will benchmark the buzzword "blog-based". What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Think visionary. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-perfectly"? The ability to synthesize efficiently leads to the ability to strategize transparently. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? At ShadowLands, we understand how to engineer mega-vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling applications and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to deploy easily. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Without C2C monitoring, you will lack global content. Think cyber-C2B2B, e-business. We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capacity to innovate. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to revolutionize intra-interactively. We have proven we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also synergize intuitively.