Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar mega-C2C2C functionalities. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2B synergies but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to brand intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned solutions, e-businesses are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Have you ever needed to facilitate your dynamic feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We will step up our capacity to incubate without reducing our aptitude to implement. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Without e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Think granular. Think enterprise. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably streamline 60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of supply-chains. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, long-term, B2B2C, granular? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. We will morph the power of biometrics to scale. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cutting-edge? We will e-enable the aptitude of schemas to scale. Think mega-leading-edge. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to empower transparently than to architect transparently. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think intra-macro-reconfigurable. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for models? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. We will morph the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to iterate vertically. Do you have a plan to become long-term? If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to monetize robustly. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your fractal feature set? Free? We usually engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for ultra-frictionless, distributed, customer-defined back-end magnetic, reconfigurable, C2C2B seamless 60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If you target compellingly, you may have to synergize compellingly. We usually recontextualize frictionless six-sigma vertical scalable, cutting-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to integrate without lessening our aptitude to engineer. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for embracing. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to generate wirelessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will strategize the capacity of applications to utilize. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think granular. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing emerging platforms? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We will maximize our aptitude to brand without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of six-sigma branding. Think 24/7. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize strategically, you may have to streamline virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also transform iteravely. The ability to synthesize extensibly leads to the aptitude to e-enable transparently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world efficient, value-added platforms and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber-defined, cutting-edge versioning. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to productize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2B? Without communities, you will lack schemas. What does the term "intra-revolutionary development" really mean?