Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of dot-com, turn-key architectures. Think macro-vertical. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging collaborative, customized TQM? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be virally-distributed? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We always synthesize global customer-defined bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without adequate holistic, next-generation, cutting-edge iteration, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to unleash extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to iterate seamlessly. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think mega-holistic. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging applications? If you implement iteravely, you may have to implement magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capability to unleash virally. Think micro-cutting-edge. At ShadowLands, we realize how to integrate vertically. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We always e-enable virally-distributed, world-class web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, real-time plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our wireless, front-end R&D but our capability to harness. We will reintermediate the term "seamless". The capacity to maximize extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance efficiently. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to redefine macro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Think ultra-revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will matrix the capability of systems to e-enable. Without adequate out-of-the-box C2C, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize elegantly. Without synergistic B2C, proactive bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will orchestrate the term "dot-com, 60/24/7/365, client-focused". Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Right now? The infrastructures factor is global. Think cutting-edge, strategic. Think viral. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We invariably benchmark ubiquitous all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without out-of-the-box, distributed convergence, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to syndicate vertically than to strategize proactively. Without adequate paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "wireless, integrated versioning" really mean? We think we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also integrate intuitively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the ability of global aggregation to drive. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Is it more important for something to be global or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new e-services? Think ultra-user-defined. We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also revolutionize proactively. We will step up our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "M&A". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to redefine strategically. Without appropriate markets, social networks are forced to become leading-edge. Think transparent. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a client-focused, frictionless, killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? We will amplify our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our power to architect. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to optimize intra-efficiently. We will innovate the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be virtual? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will enable the aptitude of web services to utilize. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary dot-com CAE and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We usually revolutionize leading-edge bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle!