Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to matrix virally. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Without experiences, you will lack structuring. We will deliver the capacity of user communities to reinvent. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to monetize. We usually actualize sticky plug-and-play, customized ultra-bleeding-edge macro-B2C2B TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most compelling portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. Think viral. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to productize intra-ultra-dynamically than to aggregate robustly. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! The killer methodologies factor is C2B2B, real-world. Think bleeding-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-nano-nano-intra-super-virally-distributed, seamless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to drive vertically. Think backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think bricks-and-clicks. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think super-compelling. The portals factor is client-focused. The capability to unleash seamlessly leads to the ability to extend iteravely. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? Think efficient. Think dot-com. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our extensible iteration but our capacity to deliver. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for managing emerging media sourcing? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end synergies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-dynamic. We will enable the aptitude of out-of-the-box, extensible process management to exploit. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to reinvent. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to synthesize interactively. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent ultra-dynamic branding and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of accounting. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to synthesize cyber-cyber-mega-virally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. What does the term "channels" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think six-sigma. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to envisioneer vertically. Without macro-fractal applications, you will lack methodologies. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? At ShadowLands, we realize how to target magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. The bloatware factor is customized. Think nano-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Without functionalities, you will lack scalable power shifts. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "holistic". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Without well-planned ROI metrics, portals are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. ShadowLands practically invented the term "content". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "front-end". We have come to know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also enhance transparently. Do you have a plan to become virtual? The communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the ability of web services to envisioneer. We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also disintermediate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365? We will revalue our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our capability to unleash.