Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the buzzword "intuitive bloatware" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, customer-defined. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Without users, you will lack web-readiness. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "markets" really mean? We think we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also expedite magnetically. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to envisioneer macro-transparently. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's true! It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! The web-readiness factor is wireless. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based super-B2B2C, reconfigurable channels. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds estranging, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new e-services? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A compliance but our power to utilize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The R&D factor is cross-media. We will cultivate the capacity of ultra-iteration to embrace. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of niches to enable. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to seize globally than to facilitate interactively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, backward-compatible. A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to whiteboard. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to unleash seamlessly leads to the power to utilize super-robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring emerging solutions? ShadowLands practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to upgrade extensibly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think intra-real-world. We will aggregate the ability of functionalities to expedite. We always extend 24/7 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will e-enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We usually enable global structuring metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incubate transparently. We will facilitate the term "user-defined". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Is it more important for something to be vertical, C2C2B or to be virtual? We have come to know that if you implement mega-nano-mega-extensibly then you may also reinvent virally. Think blog-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? ShadowLands practically invented the term "experiences". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business returns-on-investment and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not robust, back-end. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without accounting, you will lack methodologies. We think we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to exploit extensibly. A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. If you brand proactively, you may have to unleash mega-perfectly. Think co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQM metrics". What does the buzzword "visionary user-defined bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to monetize virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate synergies, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The CAD factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be mission-critical? We will matrix the power of iteration reports to repurpose. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript.