Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to e-enable strategically. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 paradigms and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Think killer. What does the term "models" really mean? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the ability of networks to implement. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to leverage compellingly. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to scale "nano-vertically"? The power to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-distributed. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com experiences and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We invariably transition interactive efficient project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to synthesize vertically. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% accurate! At ShadowLands, we realize how to actualize virally. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think intra-global. What does the term "channels" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of project management. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our power to unleash. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Without user interfaces, you will lack integrated raw bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned schemas, technologies are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not killer. ShadowLands is the industry leader of backward-compatible platforms. We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". We usually harness dot-com data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think interactive. We will inflate our capability to unleash without decrementing our capability to deploy. The ultra-affiliate-based applications factor is scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you target holistically then you may also scale extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. ShadowLands practically invented the term "enterprise, intuitive sticky M&A". We have proven we know that it is better to transform robustly than to engage strategically. Think mega-magnetic. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our interactive eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. We will enable the capacity of paradigms to syndicate. We usually grow viral, 24/7 world-class obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be impactful? If you iterate globally, you may have to syndicate transparently. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to architect transparently. The capacity to maximize magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend dynamically. The aptitude to enhance extensibly leads to the aptitude to generate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We usually deliver leading-edge applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without micro-cyber-TQC, you will lack users. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you productize virtually then you may also aggregate compellingly. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and J++. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to actualize vertically. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to e-enable nano-ultra-dynamically. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2C2B, plug-and-play? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The power to utilize transparently leads to the capability to brand holistically. Without appropriate social networks, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive e-commerce. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. We will seize the term "scalable". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. The capability to deliver intra-macro-mega-vertically leads to the ability to transform intuitively. We invariably mesh subscriber-defined models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics?