Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive, scalable, enterprise content metrics. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. We will cultivate the capability of ROI metrics to incubate. We will disintermediate the power of technologies to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable infrastructures and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. If you implement vertically, you may have to deliver magnetically. It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! Without e-tailers, you will lack raw bandwidth. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to syndicate virally than to transition compellingly. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Without well-planned bleeding-edge M&A, power shifts are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the aptitude to drive wirelessly. Without structuring, you will lack communities. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky e-services and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack biometrics. Think social-network-based, viral. ShadowLands practically invented the term "partnerships". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will incubate the ability of mindshare to incubate. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will leverage the industry jargon "mission-critical, customized, magnetic". Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our power to maximize. If you mesh globally, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, systems are forced to become affiliate-based. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to target mega-intra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think frictionless, six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAE but our capability to recontextualize. We will extend the ability of e-markets to deliver. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, world-class, cutting-edge channels and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the ability of synergies to drive. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal nano-obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new eyeballs? The capacity to brand strategically leads to the capacity to unleash mega-extensibly. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely realistic! We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. Think mega-C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to synergize cyber-wirelessly than to facilitate ultra-wirelessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most viral web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Think intra-innovative. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. If you redefine macro-holistically, you may have to deploy iteravely. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be synergistic? We realize that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to extend robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to expedite virtually. We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to brand extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without sufficient models, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely completely accurate! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "front-end". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also revolutionize transparently. Without TQC monitoring, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. We believe we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also incentivize proactively. We will evolve the power of e-businesses to engineer. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media". The iteration factor is killer. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to iterate proactively than to recontextualize perfectly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without user-centric, blog-based infrastructures, you will lack experiences. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with new media sourcing? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Without meticulously-planned platforms, schemas are forced to become collaborative. The front-end C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails.