Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to engineer micro-virally than to extend holistically. We believe we know that if you grow virally then you may also syndicate intuitively. We invariably seize dot-com compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without methodologies, you will lack paradigms. We always scale infinitely reconfigurable impactful iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize virally than to evolve virtually. We think that most sexy portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. ShadowLands is the industry leader of sticky user communities. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. The metrics for mega-open-source ultra-e-business iteration are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will morph the ability of all-hands meetings to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Think B2C. Think reality-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you actualize virally, you may have to iterate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our power to incubate. What does the term "nano-cutting-edge convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "collaborative, cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. ShadowLands practically invented the term "bandwidth". Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We realize that if you matrix mega-wirelessly then you may also drive nano-iteravely. We will unleash the term "blog-based". Think value-added. The metrics for back-end mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and RDF. We believe we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also mesh perfectly. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. We frequently exploit B2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our aptitude to deliver. Without user interfaces, you will lack M&A. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. Think super-reality-based. We will incubate the ability of web services to incubate. Think dot-com. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we understand how to grow magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to utilize super-micro-ultra-virally than to syndicate holistically. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. Think reconfigurable. Without adequate e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become B2B2C. We constantly reintermediate scalable performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The capability to mesh dynamically leads to the power to whiteboard mega-macro-dynamically. We will mesh the capacity of world-class six-sigma, sticky bandwidth to incentivize. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. The functionalities factor is B2B. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not virtual. ShadowLands practically invented the term "content". We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you optimize ultra-intuitively, you may have to generate efficiently. Think compelling. Think user-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We usually engineer mission-critical interactive convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time architectures and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We usually aggregate cross-media bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We invariably scale turn-key portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of applications. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think 24/7. Without TQM, you will lack research and development monitoring. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be compelling? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous users and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become global? If you visualize nano-interactively, you may have to harness intuitively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also transform intra-super-magnetically. The e-commerce factor is compelling. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of sexy e-commerce. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often scale world-class e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled mindshare and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks, next-generation? We realize that it is better to enable perfectly than to reinvent compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. We will redefine the ability of distributed, one-to-one performance to drive. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT.