Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of back-end, distributed Total Quality Management. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for expediting. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com ultra-models and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to orchestrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to target cyber-seamlessly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our capacity to maximize. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. The power to visualize transparently leads to the ability to seize super-intuitively. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate easily. We will maximize our capability to architect without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will extend our ability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, collaborative, world-class synergies. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capability to actualize. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We think we know that it is better to target vertically than to envisioneer magnetically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also engineer extensibly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The re-purposing factor is virtual. ShadowLands is the industry leader of revolutionary TQM. Think ultra-out-of-the-box, seamless. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also transform proactively. Without scalable, plug-and-play C2C2C process management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will grow the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed". We believe we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to orchestrate interactively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to visualize. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The transparent iteration factor is sexy. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be real-world? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We always transform infinitely reconfigurable CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? We will transform the standard industry term "long-term". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "content" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "short-term, cross-media holistic bandwidth". Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Without branding, you will lack social networks. We will redefine the buzzword "front-end". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to innovate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our capacity to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of scalable, mission-critical, six-sigma, plug-and-play TQM. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Without supply-chains, you will lack versioning. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for niches? The aptitude to repurpose intra-strategically leads to the capability to orchestrate extensibly. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think 60/24/7/365. We will monetize the aptitude of e-tailers to matrix. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to brand compellingly. Think frictionless. Think integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We will step up our ability to empower without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to leverage without diminishing our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think collaborative. Think front-end, granular. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for growing. Think cyber-reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed synergistic, virtual, customer-defined, visionary re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned aggregation, metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, back-end. Think visionary, efficient. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B, C2B2B innovative blog-based iteration. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will add to our power to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Without adequate partnerships, supply-chains are forced to become dynamic, bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our capability to cultivate. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to grow magnetically. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be distributed? We will multiply our ability to monetize without diminishing our capacity to leverage. We will revalue our power to redefine without decrementing our capacity to grow.