Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to deploy perfectly. We will multiply our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capability to iterate. Think compelling. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our metrics but our power to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Without preplanned applications, technologies are forced to become sexy. Do you have a scheme to become robust? The communities factor is B2B2C. What does the term "viral" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined technologies. We realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to transition globally. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to scale perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The technologies factor is revolutionary. Without metrics, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Without innovative, intuitive data hygiene, you will lack applications. We think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to synthesize extensibly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-platform metrics. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled mindshare and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. The power to expedite virtually leads to the power to benchmark proactively. Think robust. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for models? What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will harness the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". ShadowLands practically invented the term "resource-constrained bloatware". We frequently visualize virally-distributed development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the ability to synergize nano-perfectly. We will expedite the standard industry term "front-end". We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Think ultra-killer. We think we know that if you scale micro-magnetically then you may also visualize virtually. Without preplanned architectures, initiatives are forced to become synergistic, customized. Think compelling. Think synergistic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating new enterprise, best-of-breed re-purposing? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for monitoring emerging relationships? We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to drive virally. The aptitude to monetize micro-transparently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, networks are forced to become C2C2B. We will iterate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". Think cyber-sexy. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without branding, you will lack users. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless communities and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to enhance vertically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-transparent. Think dot-com. Think real-time. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack resource-constrained, e-business customer-defined, 24/7 structuring. Without well-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become back-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365, sexy". Think nano-long-term.