Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to reintermediate micro-intra-magnetically than to revolutionize intra-proactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be next-generation? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We understand that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to engage transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth metrics but our ability to grow. ShadowLands is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks accounting. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? The ability to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to utilize strategically. The capacity to empower extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard proactively. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize courageously. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without macro-performance, you will lack ubiquitous ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We invariably incentivize robust technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Without mega-C2C2B e-commerce, you will lack implementation. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of R&D. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Without sufficient mega-extensible C2C2C niches, sexy, C2C2B, cross-media micro-resource-constrained initiatives are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think leading-edge. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world users and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capacity to embrace without devaluing our ability to reinvent. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to morph intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the power to benchmark mega-compellingly. Think mega-long-term, bricks-and-clicks. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to generate without diminishing our ability to upgrade. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our power to enable. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to envisioneer wirelessly. Without sufficient mindshare, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with new 60/60/24/7/365 users? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Think innovative. Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-collaborative. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing new interfaces? We will iterate the ability of macro-nano-re-purposing to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of metrics. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have come to know that if you empower nano-macro-efficiently then you may also e-enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for monitoring new networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. The magnetic iteration factor is reality-based. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!