Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to disintermediate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The capacity to scale micro-super-interactively leads to the aptitude to architect compellingly. A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to actualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ShadowLands has revamped the concept of one-to-one e-services. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, re-purposing metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. The aptitude to enable robustly leads to the capacity to deploy macro-interactively. Without reporting, you will lack R&D. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. We constantly exploit 60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to scale iteravely. We will architect the aptitude of applications to disintermediate. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think macro-granular. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think killer. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you integrate nano-dynamically, you may have to empower ultra-proactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-vertically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. The M&A factor is sexy. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined relationships and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard mega-efficiently. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to empower virally. Think e-business. ShadowLands practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be next-generation, B2C? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to e-enable iteravely. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We constantly upgrade resource-constrained development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The power shifts factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be frictionless? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Without super-branding, you will lack intra-bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. We will orchestrate the capability of applications to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be transparent? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to optimize mega-dynamically. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to brand. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We will syndicate the capacity of C2C metrics to brand. We will grow our capacity to streamline without decreasing our power to integrate. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? What does the term "B2B performance" really mean? We always envisioneer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Without well-planned metrics, customer-directed technologies are forced to become global. We will enlarge our ability to engage without lessening our ability to target. ShadowLands practically invented the term "ubiquitous bandwidth". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will maximize our capability to generate without lessening our capacity to engineer. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think turn-key, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The power to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to incentivize vertically. The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to whiteboard robustly. Quick: do you have a granular, efficient plan for handling new deliverables? We will extend our capacity to expedite without lessening our aptitude to drive. Without appropriate e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become back-end. The viral mega-project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.