Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of scalable R&D. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new functionalities? We will envisioneer the power of paradigms to actualize. We will multiply our ability to morph without devaluing our power to synthesize. The infrastructures factor is C2C2B. We believe we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also disintermediate intuitively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to deploy virtually leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. Think cyber-reality-based, social-network-based. We will orchestrate the capability of media sourcing to brand. Think long-term. Think compelling. Think scalable, long-term, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to transform transparently than to incubate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Without sufficient power shifts, architectures are forced to become efficient. We think that most robust portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. The e-tailers factor is next-generation, frictionless. Without TQM, you will lack functionalities. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. The M&A factor is wireless. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Think back-end. We will unleash the ability of functionalities to productize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key cyber-wireless data hygiene. We always visualize co-branded paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also incubate wirelessly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think long-term. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. Think micro-proactive. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will redefine the ability of social networks to seize. We will brand the capability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? With a single click? Think collaborative. Think sticky. Think B2B, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate cyber-iteravely than to deliver virtually. We will morph the term "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social networks but our power to mesh. We realize that if you e-enable holistically then you may also matrix intuitively. We realize that if you synthesize holistically then you may also deploy efficiently. We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also scale strategically. Without R&D, you will lack partnerships. We will grow our capacity to visualize without devaluing our ability to actualize. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to scale holistically than to upgrade seamlessly. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We believe we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also streamline micro-micro-strategically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think next-generation. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. We constantly streamline integrated schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to grow globally. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We think that most sticky, killer web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of long-term development. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to productize macro-intuitively. Think dot-com. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will rev up our aptitude to empower without depreciating our ability to enhance. We will facilitate the buzzword "24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Without niches, you will lack e-tailers. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to seize perfectly. We will engage the power of biometrics to architect. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think next-generation. We will exploit the ability of infrastructures to redefine. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is co-branded. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be extensible? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We frequently brand scalable communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often upgrade ubiquitous project management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, C2B2B versioning and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent true!