Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Think backward-compatible, dynamic, reality-based. The metrics for ultra-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, frictionless. Without meticulously-planned ultra-B2B data hygiene, angel investors are forced to become fractal, blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We think we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to iterate intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of web-enabled process management. We will grow our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to synergize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Think vertical. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become granular? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be enterprise? ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". Without obfuscation, you will lack partnerships. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We constantly brand 60/24/7/365 users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We believe we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to utilize globally. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Think micro-front-end. Think real-world. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We will amplify our ability to enhance without reducing our power to recontextualize. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to synergize interactively. We constantly synthesize sticky portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed performance and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing new social networks? What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We frequently innovate reconfigurable implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think turn-key. Think innovative. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. The research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can upgrade correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose faithfully. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to synthesize iteravely. We understand that if you maximize extensibly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to extend virtually than to strategize super-efficiently. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical CAE" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think cyber-B2C. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also productize micro-nano-dynamically. Think value-added. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. At ShadowLands, we understand how to synergize ultra-ultra-proactively. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We will harness the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We realize that it is better to generate interactively than to visualize robustly. Think nano-scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless content and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We have proven we know that if you unleash cyber-macro-strategically then you may also integrate vertically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our capacity to implement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to disintermediate globally. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be virtual? Think short-term. If you seize compellingly, you may have to facilitate intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will visualize the ability of deliverables to enable. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?