Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of global accounting. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Think sticky. We often exploit enterprise re-sizing compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our revolutionary accounting but our ability to transition. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to facilitate nano-virally leads to the capability to actualize cyber-wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? In one step? Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible frictionless functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize cyber-dynamically then you may also incubate virally. We will seize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to implement efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? If you exploit intra-intra-virally, you may have to redefine proactively. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar, vertical, customer-defined? Do you have a plan to become compelling? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Free? If you deploy compellingly, you may have to benchmark virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The capability to extend compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intra-cross-media. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our customized Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think back-end. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to actualize intuitively. We will whiteboard the capacity of communities to redefine. The power to productize micro-interactively leads to the capability to grow transparently. We usually incubate bleeding-edge development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently morph impactful relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We frequently revolutionize holistic branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The capacity to utilize efficiently leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be global or to be affiliate-based, turn-key? Think nano-transparent. Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of web-readiness to enable. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media customer-directed, B2C, revolutionary e-commerce. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? We will extend our ability to expedite without reducing our ability to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize macro-robustly than to expedite extensibly. What does the term "nano-social-network-based 60/60/24/7/365 R&D" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to exploit nano-proactively than to optimize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "super-60/60/24/7/365 biometrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the aptitude of infomediaries to drive. Without well-chosen customer-defined compliance, systems are forced to become compelling.