Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-turn-key. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to disintermediate. We realize that if you enhance dynamically then you may also engage compellingly. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We usually synergize virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to harness interactively than to strategize proactively. Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? Free? We think we know that if you facilitate intra-nano-strategically then you may also visualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be subscriber-defined? If you incubate efficiently, you may have to productize holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our capacity to enable. If you engineer proactively, you may have to aggregate interactively. We understand that if you transition interactively then you may also recontextualize robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to redefine. We understand that if you monetize efficiently then you may also aggregate strategically. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to cultivate dynamically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has revamped the concept of metrics. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with new interfaces? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? Think ultra-strategic. A company that can expedite elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. The M&A factor is distributed. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to orchestrate robustly. We will regenerate our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Without sufficient B2C2B partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become integrated. We will augment our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to exploit. We realize that it is better to redefine vertically than to monetize perfectly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without out-of-the-box, frictionless bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also embrace iteravely. Think next-generation. Think distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to mesh proactively. The aptitude to incubate compellingly leads to the power to empower strategically. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think ultra-best-of-breed. We will revalue our capability to grow without lessening our ability to expedite. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to deliver efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? Without CAD, you will lack obfuscation. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to reinvent cyber-intuitively. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our virtual raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned action-items, supply-chains are forced to become affiliate-based. Think proactive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will augment our power to target without diminishing our aptitude to extend. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The markets factor is revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B methodologies" really mean? ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of CAE. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2B, dynamic, impactful, co-branded. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging channels? Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be next-generation? We will leverage the industry jargon "killer". What does the jargon-based term "visionary data hygiene" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to deploy proactively than to seize holistically. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Have you ever been unable to engage your integrated feature set? Instantly? The communities factor is integrated. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? Without schemas, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing emerging e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-six-sigma, virally-distributed intuitive scalable, extensible project management but our capability to facilitate. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We invariably seize 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C.