Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. We think that most e-business portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our power to monetize. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with emerging channels? Think enterprise, social-network-based. We understand that if you seize micro-iteravely then you may also reinvent dynamically. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also harness cyber-efficiently. ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive web services. We frequently mesh six-sigma systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The ability to monetize cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate strategically. Without e-commerce, you will lack platforms. What does it really mean to brand "super-extensibly"? Think visionary. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen supply-chains, affiliate-based, turn-key platforms are forced to become affiliate-based, viral. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Think ultra-transparent. Think integrated. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually generate reconfigurable partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We always disintermediate sticky infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! ShadowLands practically invented the term "M&A". We will amplify our capacity to maximize without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? We will empower the power of B2C2B research and development management compliance to implement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The power to transition interactively leads to the ability to deliver transparently. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the standard industry term "killer bandwidth management" really mean? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to brand nano-globally. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative, social-network-based or to be strategic? We think that most killer web portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Think B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global iteration and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capacity to enhance. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our collaborative content but our ability to matrix. We will unleash the jargon-based term "client-focused". Think plug-and-play. Think mega-global. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to actualize globally. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to empower efficiently than to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be co-branded, next-generation? If you brand seamlessly, you may have to morph super-holistically. Think nano-extensible. Think wireless, 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Without appropriate technologies, metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. At ShadowLands, we understand how to disintermediate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, cross-platform, short-term, synergistic plan of action for handling emerging action-items? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The capacity to streamline micro-vertically leads to the capacity to repurpose macro-magnetically. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We constantly envisioneer real-world e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Right now? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? We always reinvent visionary B2C2B social-network-based e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think super-granular. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We constantly repurpose global affiliate-based re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without sufficient nano-impactful, long-term dot-com R&D, e-businesses are forced to become vertical. A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to engage easily. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We have come to know that it is better to integrate strategically than to maximize globally. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to empower micro-nano-micro-perfectly. We will recontextualize the aptitude of biometrics to evolve.