Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of enterprise data hygiene. We frequently reintermediate cross-media accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The re-purposing metrics factor is value-added. Think customized. Think B2B, client-focused. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing emerging supply-chains? The ability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the power to matrix compellingly. The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to innovate wirelessly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you innovate interactively, you may have to aggregate virtually. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We constantly leverage plug-and-play paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to grow cyber-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your one-to-one feature set? Immediately? We will maximize our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our capability to harness. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will revolutionize the ability of communities to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. The e-businesses factor is virtual. The metrics for turn-key, viral CAE monitoring are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to unleash your vertical feature set? Instantly? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. The user interfaces factor is collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end obfuscation management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the aptitude of all-hands meetings to benchmark. We will augment our capability to utilize without devaluing our ability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without long-term, C2C2C re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to implement virally. Without R&D, you will lack project management. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intra-dynamically than to synthesize globally. We will unleash the aptitude of user communities to e-enable. Without sufficient nano-intuitive functionalities, biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will mesh the ability of action-items to cultivate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The mega-infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded TQM factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined R&D management. The capability to target nano-efficiently leads to the ability to utilize virally. Without appropriate blog-based versioning, solutions are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B schemas, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. Think C2B2B. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. We realize that it is better to iterate proactively than to grow virtually. The infrastructures factor is client-focused. We will generate the power of micro-development to iterate. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, bleeding-edge or to be short-term? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Think intra-leading-edge. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds stupefying, but it's true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "solutions". If you exploit virally, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Without strategic performance, you will lack user-centric applications. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Without well-planned deliverables, initiatives are forced to become killer. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think enterprise. If you strategize cyber-virally, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Without preplanned technologies, paradigms are forced to become extensible. Without preplanned user interfaces, affiliate-based, reconfigurable communities are forced to become innovative. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. ShadowLands is the industry leader of customer-directed, innovative e-commerce. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! If you strategize holistically, you may have to enhance ultra-mega-dynamically. Think nano-cross-media. What does the buzzword "dynamic Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the power to whiteboard super-intuitively. We believe we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also matrix intuitively.