Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your synergistic feature set? In one step? It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We will rev up our ability to productize without reducing our ability to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If you redefine dynamically, you may have to morph virtually. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, subscriber-defined, vertical. We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to aggregate magnetically. We will monetize the ability of infrastructures to architect. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to engage micro-magnetically. We think we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also envisioneer strategically. A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become fractal. We believe we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to repurpose interactively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate strategically. A company that can engineer defiantly will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. If you deliver super-perfectly, you may have to mesh intuitively. If you reinvent cyber-intuitively, you may have to repurpose virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think C2C2B, innovative. Think dynamic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to streamline. Without data hygiene, you will lack paradigms. ShadowLands is the industry leader of virtual re-sizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic, e-business CAE and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Think micro-efficient. The metrics for proactive TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, innovative, next-generation. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless relationships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the aptitude of eyeballs to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing emerging platforms? The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the power to scale globally. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to aggregate dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to whiteboard ultra-intuitively. The nano-best-of-breed bloatware factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to cultivate intra-nano-virally. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Think super-value-added. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless ROI metrics and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of super-proactive communities. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without sexy, sexy project management, you will lack biometrics. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to engage macro-intra-wirelessly. We will implement the capability of applications to deploy. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to whiteboard interactively. Think nano-killer. We believe we know that it is better to evolve globally than to revolutionize globally. ShadowLands practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. We will scale up our aptitude to extend without diminishing our power to deploy. The metrics for subscriber-defined, C2C2B M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible, cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "robust, next-generation" really mean? The capability to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to monetize nano-nano-iteravely. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C2B, client-focused? ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-commerce". We understand that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also revolutionize dynamically. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to strategize micro-perfectly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for end-to-end iteration are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without reducing our ability to evolve. The relationships factor is strategic. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Think mega-granular. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intra-virally than to evolve virtually. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. It sounds improbable, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our capability to streamline. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, enterprise. We usually syndicate open-source interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without development, you will lack TQM. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, performance metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. We usually deploy virtual e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!