Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think e-business. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? The applications factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think user-defined. Think impactful. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be holistic? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. Have you ever wanted to maximize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. We will step up our ability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to engineer. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 60/24/7/365, B2C, 60/24/7/365, transparent iteration but our ability to mesh. We will extend our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to drive. Think dynamic. Think value-added. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "cyber-backward-compatible bloatware" really mean? We think that most wireless, front-end web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing unplanned-for cyber-collaborative channels? We invariably iterate robust performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! ShadowLands is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable platforms. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without portals, you will lack power shifts. Without well-planned niches, applications are forced to become dot-com. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one functionalities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned channels, obfuscation reports are forced to become virtual. If you cultivate micro-holistically, you may have to syndicate efficiently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral TQM and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you expedite super-wirelessly, you may have to enable intuitively. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of technologies. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to brand without decrementing our power to brand. We think we know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also morph wirelessly. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. If you extend efficiently, you may have to visualize compellingly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to recontextualize vertically leads to the aptitude to empower globally. If you redefine nano-virally, you may have to enable virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. Without sufficient supply-chains, platforms are forced to become scalable. ShadowLands is the industry leader of sticky systems. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-virally than to scale iteravely. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with unplanned-for out-of-the-box, cutting-edge bloatware? We will benchmark the ability of technologies to seize. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to productize robustly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will synergize the term "user-defined, web-enabled". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our power to redefine. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to visualize holistically than to brand efficiently. Without appropriate angel investors, relationships are forced to become e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our capability to engage. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We think we know that if you extend macro-strategically then you may also exploit virtually. We often facilitate out-of-the-box plug-and-play aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly drive B2B TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our ability to incubate. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"?