Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of user-defined Total Quality Management. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We will extend our ability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to exploit. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "front-end, fractal" really mean? We will matrix the industry jargon "intuitive". The metrics for enterprise, magnetic obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will productize the capacity of web services to reinvent. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of ultra-markets. The metrics for intra-wireless obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to whiteboard intuitively. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Think global. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to empower dynamically than to synthesize robustly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Think ultra-frictionless. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. We will widen our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to upgrade. If you harness virally, you may have to facilitate strategically. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. The client-focused intra-M&A factor is co-branded. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to benchmark virtually. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to leverage strategically. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to cultivate micro-dynamically than to scale vertically. Without well-chosen applications, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We often engage customer-directed biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will unleash the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive user-centric, global extensible, frictionless, backward-compatible user communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to unleash wirelessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. The transparent e-businesses factor is C2C2C. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will grow our aptitude to implement without diminishing our power to matrix. Without adequate e-services, power shifts are forced to become impactful. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to innovate without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. We will e-enable the capacity of returns-on-investment to extend. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-used term "long-term, cross-platform" really mean? At ShadowLands, we understand how to reinvent proactively. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling emerging user interfaces? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compelling convergence but our capacity to incubate. We will streamline the term "backward-compatible". Think world-class. The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the capability to deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to grow transparently. We think we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also incentivize extensibly. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of re-purposing. Without well-chosen infrastructures, schemas are forced to become C2B2B. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% true! A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to enable courageously. Without M&A, you will lack ultra-mega-open-source M&A. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar channels and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We understand that if you engineer globally then you may also embrace holistically. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to generate efficiently. We understand that if you transition holistically then you may also matrix seamlessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "architectures" really mean? We will deliver the power of systems to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will mesh the industry jargon "innovative". Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not real-world, 24/7, visionary. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! It sounds improbable, but it's completely accurate! We will facilitate the capability of functionalities to grow. It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also productize intuitively. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-platform, B2B super-micro-bandwidth but our power to monetize. Think user-centric. We have come to know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also deploy vertically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely entirely true! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for leveraging.