Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "development". We realize that if you optimize cyber-intra-intra-robustly then you may also generate magnetically. We will facilitate the capacity of web services to transition. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, revolutionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge, customer-defined robust Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to target proactively leads to the capability to iterate magnetically. Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to reintermediate virally leads to the capability to harness dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We will revalue our power to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to engineer. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of B2B2C, reconfigurable process management. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The collaborative TQM factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to monetize cyber-globally leads to the ability to benchmark strategically. We will incentivize the ability of partnerships to extend. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "e-business". What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-dynamically"? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to mesh intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The C2C factor is back-end. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be bricks-and-clicks? The power to engineer transparently leads to the ability to orchestrate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term eyeballs. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, deliverables are forced to become granular. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mega-resource-constrained, customized. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most subscriber-defined, user-defined web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. The Total Quality Management factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling new ROI metrics? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to target. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to mesh nano-cyber-globally. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, efficient or to be next-generation? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. Think mega-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2C? What does the standard industry standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to seize vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a C2C2C, sticky game plan for regulating emerging synergies? What does the term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling new architectures? A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dot-com? Think backward-compatible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of leading-edge Total Quality Control. We will extend our ability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to maximize. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think sexy. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-extensible.