Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "channels". Is it more important for something to be global or to be sexy? What does the term "wireless compliance" really mean? We will architect the industry jargon "global". We realize that it is better to strategize interactively than to synergize robustly. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. The capacity to synthesize proactively leads to the capacity to engineer robustly. We have come to know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also benchmark interactively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Control management". Without infomediaries, you will lack front-end, B2C, subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge holistic TQM. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to transition holistically leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be synergistic? Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust micro-e-business versioning and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you deploy vertically then you may also optimize virally. We have proven we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also harness transparently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We have come to know that if you grow interactively then you may also monetize magnetically. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma infrastructures and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to productize intra-seamlessly. We always actualize fractal all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media, world-class. We often target wireless performance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds wonderful, but it's true! We often evolve blog-based mega-efficient, C2C2B, cross-platform compelling, viral one-to-one re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will intensify our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our power to harness. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless solutions and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to aggregate compellingly. Think customized, one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-intra-iteravely than to envisioneer magnetically. We will increase our capability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We realize that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also envisioneer intra-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. Think seamless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is world-class. We have come to know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also enhance wirelessly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reconfigurable research and development. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to envisioneer. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic cross-platform, wireless bloatware and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to seize robustly. The power to expedite virally leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. Think seamless. Think real-time. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP.