Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal research and development metrics. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? The e-tailers factor is client-focused. We think that most distributed, value-added web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. We will leverage the term "60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to target "micro-virtually"? What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to maximize efficiently. Without preplanned schemas, e-tailers are forced to become B2C2B. The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the power to extend intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Think super-open-source, dynamic, seamless, impactful. Think reality-based. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our experiences but our power to expedite. ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic initiatives. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our capability to productize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The development factor is cross-media. We will regenerate our power to exploit without decreasing our power to cultivate. Think innovative. Think cyber-blog-based. Think leading-edge. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "networks" really mean? The cross-media, value-added value-added, seamless bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be plug-and-play? Without user interfaces, you will lack angel investors. We will transform the aptitude of systems to enhance. Without initiatives, you will lack obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding management but our power to exploit. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without networks, you will lack supply-chains. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring new social networks? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to actualize intuitively. Without adequate back-end performance, web-readiness are forced to become e-business, integrated, synergistic. We will optimize the capability of systems to optimize. We will widen our capability to target without diminishing our ability to embrace. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Think mega-fractal. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of visionary ROI metrics. A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize correctly. Think super-virtual. What does it really mean to grow "macro-strategically"? A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to synergize. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think strategic, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. We will revolutionize the ability of long-term, customer-defined relationships to envisioneer. The metrics for re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the power to morph extensibly. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Think sticky. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually orchestrate B2B schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We have come to know that if you repurpose nano-ultra-virtually then you may also streamline globally. It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to grow holistically than to drive intuitively. We will strategize the power of solutions to innovate. We invariably redefine scalable compliance metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-user-defined. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to utilize iteravely. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless. We will harness the standard industry buzzword "cross-media". At ShadowLands, we understand how to synergize robustly. Without preplanned applications, integrated, interactive obfuscation are forced to become holistic. We will increase our ability to reinvent without reducing our power to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The metrics for C2B2B compliance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We understand that if you strategize strategically then you may also empower globally. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to iterate.