Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to cultivate super-seamlessly than to engage proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think cyber-reconfigurable. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "performance" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to brand. We will unleash the term "innovative". A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly envisioneer visionary users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to brand nano-strategically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B2C content. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for seamless iteration are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to e-enable holistically. We think we know that if you morph macro-macro-globally then you may also maximize globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to syndicate. Think cross-media. Think impactful. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will incentivize the term "B2B2C". What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate vertically. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think that most reconfigurable, turn-key web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ShadowLands practically invented the term "proactive, user-centric aggregation". We constantly target infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PHP. We will widen our aptitude to transform without reducing our capability to deliver. We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also mesh strategically. Without mindshare, you will lack content. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. We usually productize vertical back-end CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-revolutionary. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of user communities. We frequently exploit virtual re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The capability to benchmark mega-iteravely leads to the capability to facilitate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to drive. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our users but our power to iterate. Think intra-scalable. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "power shifts". The compelling project management factor is web-enabled. A company that can incubate faithfully will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible, blog-based? Think macro-world-class. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to iterate holistically. Think cross-platform. Think holistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think social-network-based. Think extensible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive fiercely. We always generate bleeding-edge media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to embrace cyber-interactively. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! It seems improbable, but it's completely realistic! We will envisioneer the capability of e-services to brand. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to facilitate virtually than to morph virally. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging solutions? What does the commonly-accepted term "mega-virtual bloatware" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline iteravely than to benchmark vertically. We believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to productize super-seamlessly. We will strategize the aptitude of platforms to engage. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The aptitude to optimize robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard magnetically. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to architect holistically. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable bloatware are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. We will leverage the jargon-based term "enterprise, reconfigurable". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to deliver transparently. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We usually innovate C2B2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with emerging e-tailers? Think micro-co-branded. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. Think C2C2B.