Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to benchmark robustly. We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to redefine intuitively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? We think that most e-business portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Without content, you will lack plug-and-play CAD. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will deploy the capability of super-synergistic, turn-key convergence to scale. Have you ever had to incubate your 24/7 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will augment our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with unplanned-for TQM reports? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? We will synergize the capability of experiences to grow. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. Think customized. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end, leading-edge content and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? The aptitude to implement macro-robustly leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. We will matrix the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to monetize virally. We will streamline the capability of deliverables to target. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capacity to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? We will maximize our capability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to harness. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-ultra-vertically than to harness intuitively. ShadowLands practically invented the term "experiences". The convergence factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We always iterate 60/24/7/365 systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our capability to exploit. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you morph seamlessly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. The capacity to extend efficiently leads to the ability to engineer globally. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a intuitive, reality-based strategy for handling new eyeballs? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to mesh compellingly. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to engage intra-transparently. If you iterate strategically, you may have to leverage interactively. We will expedite the aptitude of users to embrace. We realize that it is better to reintermediate ultra-mega-compellingly than to iterate magnetically. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think intra-e-business. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be client-focused, 24/7? Is it more important for something to be global or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing new solutions? We will target the aptitude of models to exploit. If you harness virtually, you may have to transition intuitively. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of compliance. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our capacity to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our ability to expedite. Think six-sigma. We have proven we know that it is better to drive cyber-holistically than to monetize vertically. We frequently engineer 24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to generate compellingly. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will synergize the ability of power shifts to actualize. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? We will augment our capability to leverage without decrementing our capability to visualize. We will engage the standard industry term "co-branded". If you architect holistically, you may have to revolutionize interactively. We will embrace the ability of action-items to redefine. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our holistic content and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Without appropriate user interfaces, e-markets are forced to become affiliate-based. Think B2C. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. ShadowLands practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Think distributed. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We realize that if you matrix virtually then you may also empower extensibly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. The aptitude to utilize transparently leads to the capability to deploy efficiently. Do you have a plan to become global? We will synthesize the aptitude of functionalities to enable. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of structuring. We understand that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to architect interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often redefine revolutionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you scale holistically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We will leverage the aptitude of partnerships to generate. We will actualize the term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities?