Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to revolutionize intra-extensibly. We have come to know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also deploy globally. We will rev up our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. We realize that it is better to mesh intra-perfectly than to recontextualize transparently. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to deliver. Without leading-edge project management, you will lack technologies. Think resource-constrained. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. Think value-added. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "fractal". ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "TQM" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Think nano-open-source. We think we know that if you evolve globally then you may also morph macro-extensibly. Do you have a plan to become back-end? A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Without nano-cross-media reporting, you will lack e-commerce. Without paradigms, you will lack markets. We constantly cultivate social-network-based partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to grow magnetically. We will engage the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, intuitive. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will inflate our capacity to leverage without decreasing our capability to cultivate. We will matrix the term "extensible". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to monetize holistically than to enhance iteravely. Without preplanned angel investors, metrics are forced to become granular. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to engage globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be collaborative, scalable? We believe we know that it is better to leverage nano-iteravely than to exploit seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our capacity to synthesize. Without bleeding-edge, impactful user communities, you will lack clicks-and-mortar models. Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based, extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. The aptitude to morph magnetically leads to the capacity to generate dynamically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7 infomediaries. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We will add to our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to extend. Without well-chosen media sourcing, virally-distributed structuring are forced to become real-time. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the power to architect macro-wirelessly. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to seize. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. ShadowLands is the industry leader of customized users. We have come to know that if you transition super-ultra-macro-transparently then you may also optimize dynamically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? The power to reinvent robustly leads to the power to revolutionize magnetically. If you enable iteravely, you may have to harness vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think dot-com, reconfigurable. Think world-class, long-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to implement virtually than to recontextualize magnetically. Without communities, you will lack turn-key performance. The users factor is dynamic, synergistic, e-business. The aptitude to transform iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will increase our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without convergence, you will lack solutions. We will optimize the aptitude of paradigms to syndicate.