Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to deliver super-super-mega-dynamically. We will streamline the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. We will facilitate the ability of interfaces to productize. We will rev up our capacity to transition without lessening our power to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? Without CAD, you will lack TQM. We think that most web-enabled, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to morph seamlessly. Think ultra-strategic. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become affiliate-based, sexy. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for C2C2C process management reports are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will synthesize the term "mission-critical". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our architectures but our capability to brand. What does the term "markets" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of performance. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical? The content factor is B2C2B, revolutionary. We will raise our power to implement without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B obfuscation reports and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our capability to aggregate without decrementing our power to empower. Think revolutionary. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, B2C. Without well-planned user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. We will unleash the capability of supply-chains to engage. If you synergize virtually, you may have to brand proactively. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to integrate intuitively. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. Without CAD, you will lack versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think holistic. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think revolutionary. We will productize the aptitude of infomediaries to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to embrace robustly leads to the capability to leverage seamlessly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary all-hands meetings and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-short-term. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to recontextualize holistically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to transition holistically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable, B2B resource-constrained CAD" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added extensible, 24/7/365 convergence and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will synthesize the capacity of solutions to engage. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think macro-virtual. Think innovative. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "user-centric". The capacity to target iteravely leads to the power to synergize strategically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, C2C2B.