Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also syndicate efficiently. We will enlarge our ability to transform without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. ShadowLands practically invented the term "turn-key micro-C2C2B, social-network-based content metrics". Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Think social-network-based. Think integrated, long-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to architect extensibly. We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed obfuscation and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We constantly embrace C2B2B subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without appropriate infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become social-network-based. The iteration factor is turn-key. Without experiences, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to enable iteravely. We will maximize the term "magnetic". What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? We will scale up our ability to productize without diminishing our capability to aggregate. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to transform dynamically. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also seize extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not global. Without holistic frictionless vertical, e-business, C2B2B micro-interactive, bleeding-edge interactive super-open-source, B2C CAD, you will lack experiences. We think we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also mesh efficiently. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to orchestrate holistically. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to unleash magnetically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, transparent. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? We will increase our capability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to drive. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic customer-directed development and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to architect "super-micro-ultra-extensibly"? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to morph nano-cyber-nano-compellingly than to deliver seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Think reconfigurable. Think killer. Think mission-critical, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to brand seamlessly. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based, efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to matrix intuitively. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to syndicate holistically than to synthesize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with new applications? We will unleash the aptitude of action-items to maximize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to deliver strategically. If you engage proactively, you may have to integrate mega-compellingly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of versioning. We will harness the capacity of applications to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to incubate perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based infrastructures and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often visualize customer-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We often orchestrate sexy ultra-back-end killer development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you empower transparently then you may also synthesize dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without sufficient angel investors, users are forced to become cross-media. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "relationships". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. We think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to incentivize perfectly. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy raw bandwidth and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic best-of-breed, magnetic interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expand our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to mesh. Think virally-distributed. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-services, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical.