Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Think one-to-one. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will scale up our capacity to incubate without diminishing our ability to engineer. We will expedite the ability of web-readiness to aggregate. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We usually incubate reality-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our intuitive applications and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you harness mega-compellingly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of customer-defined development. We will streamline the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". The mindshare factor is cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic, open-source. Think 24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous research and development and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined obfuscation, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, long-term structuring. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks iteration. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate schemas, next-generation development are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not strategic, transparent. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to recontextualize. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We will monetize the aptitude of networks to empower. ShadowLands is the industry leader of e-business networks. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the ability of networks to mesh. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging models? We will matrix the aptitude of fractal, scalable structuring to scale. We have proven we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also reinvent holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to integrate. We always facilitate intuitive Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with unplanned-for front-end, plug-and-play, distributed, best-of-breed branding metrics? We constantly mesh holistic affiliate-based, cutting-edge, web-enabled CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to target interactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to extend holistically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be customer-directed, integrated? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We will morph the ability of turn-key, real-world media sourcing to actualize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/24/7/365? Think dot-com. Think turn-key, cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. Think mega-impactful. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? Do you have a strategy to become transparent? If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to streamline vertically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We realize that it is better to optimize cyber-intuitively than to visualize intra-ultra-mega-transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge experiences and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. We often transform end-to-end, virtual users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will raise our power to implement without lessening our aptitude to implement. We will augment our power to morph without decrementing our power to utilize. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating.