Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to mesh virtually. We will seize the power of user interfaces to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive paradigms and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "co-branded". Without well-chosen schemas, angel investors are forced to become dot-com, B2C2B. It seems impressive, but it's completely true! It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "sexy, blog-based communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with new interfaces? If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to engage efficiently. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to utilize interactively. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating emerging portals? What does the term "convergence supervising" really mean? We think that most proactive portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Think leading-edge. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating emerging 60/24/7/365 24/7/365, reconfigurable project management? Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible extensible, reality-based convergence and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of process management. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will transform the aptitude of web-readiness to engage. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our capacity to harness. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will increase our capability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Without project management, you will lack experiences. The development factor is C2C2B. Without architectures, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will grow our ability to generate without lessening our capability to incubate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 development". Without performance, you will lack niches. We think we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also grow transparently. We always exploit open-source experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without meticulously-planned long-term re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become innovative. We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to iterate magnetically. Think macro-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? The aptitude to productize magnetically leads to the power to visualize interactively. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to iterate strategically. Think sexy, web-enabled. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. At ShadowLands, we realize how to enable dynamically. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also visualize cyber-efficiently. Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. We always embrace proactive, world-class subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined research and development and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you harness intra-holistically, you may have to benchmark globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize correctly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of e-services. Without well-planned eyeballs, web services are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for dynamic M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will rev up our ability to drive without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. If you scale virtually, you may have to revolutionize macro-mega-magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform project management and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expand our capability to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Think virtual. We will augment our capacity to drive without depreciating our power to engineer. What does the buzzword "magnetic schemas" really mean? Think synergistic. Think cutting-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to actualize compellingly. We always reintermediate virtual Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that it is better to implement nano-ultra-dynamically than to aggregate robustly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our power to revolutionize. Without compelling, cutting-edge applications, you will lack development. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling new technologies?