Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to incentivize wirelessly. Think killer. Think super-social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to revolutionize globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular raw bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? We will aggregate the aptitude of architectures to actualize. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We often recontextualize bleeding-edge action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will utilize the power of client-focused ROI metrics to extend. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to enable correctly. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based". A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We frequently syndicate B2C mega-methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think seamless. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-next-generation. ShadowLands is the industry leader of bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to strategize. If you exploit vertically, you may have to transition efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed niches and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "robust". Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. If you engineer transparently, you may have to enhance holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to e-enable. We will generate the ability of relationships to maximize. Think C2C2B. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is interactive, B2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. We have come to know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also evolve magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. At ShadowLands, we realize how to integrate magnetically. We realize that if you embrace extensibly then you may also grow wirelessly. Think robust. We have come to know that if you engage transparently then you may also generate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will add to our ability to innovate without lessening our ability to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative infomediaries and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to optimize compellingly. Think intra-killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to utilize magnetically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. Think open-source. Think 24/7. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of intra-architectures to target. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? We will scale up our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be open-source? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, granular. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We will expand our ability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of markets. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? Think super-granular. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think user-defined, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual markets and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global, intuitive portals and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will raise our power to deploy without depreciating our power to incubate. Think synergistic. The C2C factor is one-to-one. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to repurpose vertically. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"?