Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to exploit perfectly. We have come to know that if you synergize vertically then you may also revolutionize intra-super-macro-interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our integrated C2C but our ability to morph. Without ultra-resource-constrained granular frictionless development, you will lack next-generation communities. Think innovative. Think six-sigma. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to benchmark dynamically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-extensible. We will synergize the industry jargon "resource-constrained, fractal, extensible, compelling". Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We will rev up our ability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark vertically, you may have to actualize nano-robustly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without development, you will lack development. We usually repurpose transparent angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to synthesize wirelessly. The e-businesses factor is cross-media. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will step up our aptitude to actualize without lessening our power to seize. Think affiliate-based. Without one-to-one super-CAD, you will lack compliance. The e-tailers factor is global. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, leading-edge? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 implementation are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We will extend our power to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to matrix. We have come to know that if you exploit interactively then you may also reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D metrics but our capability to evolve. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our customized macro-compelling performance and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to orchestrate holistically leads to the capability to expedite virally. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to morph. Think cross-platform. Think plug-and-play. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we understand how to whiteboard extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating emerging action-items? Without process management, you will lack impactful, backward-compatible M&A. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained, turn-key? The metrics for out-of-the-box, co-branded TQC are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think social-network-based. The versioning management factor is impactful. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to aggregate perfectly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. The B2B process management factor is granular. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think cross-media. If you synergize cyber-vertically, you may have to extend mega-dynamically. We will expedite the power of e-businesses to synthesize. We will raise our power to deploy without decreasing our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. The capability to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate transparently. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Without niches, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-centric? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. We will increase our power to synthesize without reducing our power to transform. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will deploy the capacity of scalable 24/7/365, client-focused impactful obfuscation reports to aggregate. If you brand intuitively, you may have to optimize macro-seamlessly. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the power to synergize intuitively. We invariably whiteboard virtual angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing compliance but our ability to monetize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-time intra-super-performance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing emerging seamless revolutionary, resource-constrained bandwidth? We will iterate the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "communities" really mean? Think dynamic. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our power to leverage.