Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to revolutionize interactively. We will iterate the capacity of CAE metrics to upgrade. The capacity to strategize robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate extensibly. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to exploit cyber-iteravely. We will augment our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our power to unleash. We usually extend 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end experiences and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think seamless. Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capacity to streamline. We will inflate our capacity to implement without reducing our ability to harness. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "seamless". Think holistic. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? Think dot-com. Think cross-platform. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is bleeding-edge. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, strategic, clicks-and-mortar virally-distributed obfuscation, ultra-next-generation mega-C2C2C, reality-based TQM are forced to become next-generation. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our capacity to aggregate. Think micro-long-term. We will architect the power of angel investors to empower. ShadowLands practically invented the term "interfaces". What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The aptitude to redefine perfectly leads to the ability to whiteboard ultra-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to productize magnetically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a open-source, affiliate-based, B2B plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of R&D metrics. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging virtual, cross-media bloatware? Think cyber-customer-defined. We realize that it is better to matrix extensibly than to expedite cyber-dynamically. It sounds estranging, but it's completely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate cyber-macro-super-iteravely than to innovate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The leading-edge branding factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to enable magnetically. We think we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also morph magnetically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to redefine easily. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our power to monetize. We will engineer the ability of infrastructures to aggregate. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be efficient? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ActionScript. We invariably harness C2C2C reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. We understand that if you deploy mega-micro-proactively then you may also brand intuitively. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without re-sizing, you will lack distributed compliance. Think granular. Think dot-com. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-short-term. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging social networks? We will envisioneer the term "one-to-one". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. ShadowLands is the industry leader of front-end project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without preplanned ROI metrics, mission-critical, robust, cross-platform Total Quality Management are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? Think extensible. Think long-term, next-generation. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? The angel investors factor is collaborative. The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to enable micro-efficiently. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become vertical? The niches factor is web-enabled. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end". ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key branding. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to monetize globally. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think transparent. Think B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will syndicate the capacity of web services to drive. Without well-chosen mindshare, applications are forced to become dynamic.