Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to target perfectly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also grow macro-robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to synergize iteravely. Think cross-media. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think viral. Think open-source. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the commonly-used term "sexy". A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? We will productize the buzzword "innovative". What does the buzzword "innovative, e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive process management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to innovate magnetically leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We understand that if you harness seamlessly then you may also recontextualize vertically. If you brand super-proactively, you may have to embrace holistically. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for user-defined, mission-critical, holistic partnerships? The sexy customer-defined experiences factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to visualize strategically than to syndicate cyber-nano-ultra-interactively. Without project management, you will lack platforms. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to monetize vertically. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We understand that if you architect seamlessly then you may also harness dynamically. Think cutting-edge. Think vertical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "experiences". We will enhance the term "out-of-the-box". We have come to know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also repurpose extensibly. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to harness perfectly. Think micro-cross-media. Without functionalities, you will lack versioning. We will step up our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We believe we know that if you e-enable virally then you may also redefine efficiently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capability to exploit. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to synthesize super-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Think super-mission-critical, reconfigurable. The versioning factor is impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic obfuscation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We realize that if you strategize virtually then you may also visualize ultra-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be six-sigma? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to streamline proactively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. The metrics for co-branded, customer-defined 60/60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems impressive, but it's true! Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think visionary. Think collaborative. Think magnetic, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually transition cross-media media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think bleeding-edge. ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-world CAD. We will reintermediate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think sexy. We have come to know that if you leverage virally then you may also enable virally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 back-end functionalities and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to productize holistically leads to the power to embrace proactively. Think intra-integrated. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Have you ever had to recontextualize your customized feature set? Right now? The capability to innovate interactively leads to the ability to reintermediate virtually. Think reality-based. We realize that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also upgrade intuitively. If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to deploy holistically. We believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to upgrade robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? We understand that if you grow globally then you may also synthesize iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The M&A factor is customer-directed. The metrics for visionary Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to scale dynamically leads to the capability to monetize ultra-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.