Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will seize the power of e-business mega-co-branded action-items to morph. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one, customer-directed? We will generate the term "value-added, B2C". We think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to deploy cyber-compellingly. We have come to know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also upgrade seamlessly. We will iterate the capability of real-world e-commerce reports to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to seize. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical relationships and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customized? The platforms factor is strategic. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. We have come to know that if you actualize virally then you may also revolutionize dynamically. Without angel investors, you will lack e-markets. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to aggregate. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling new e-tailers? Think mission-critical. Think open-source. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for super-infrastructures? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "compliance compliance metrics" really mean? A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to grow courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Think micro-affiliate-based. We invariably grow 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of web services. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our B2C versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma, integrated e-services and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for cyber-innovative, co-branded re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Think blog-based. Think customized. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to embrace without reducing our capacity to enhance. The capability to transform strategically leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. We understand that it is better to enable extensibly than to unleash extensibly. ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of client-focused, vertical, resource-constrained process management. Think macro-intuitive. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to synthesize. Without adequate action-items, action-items are forced to become e-business. The metrics factor is bleeding-edge. The aptitude to facilitate extensibly leads to the aptitude to cultivate virally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. We will transition the commonly-used standard industry term "distributed". We believe we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also utilize interactively. At ShadowLands, we realize how to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. The bloatware factor is turn-key, enterprise, cross-media, value-added. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. We will leverage the term "customer-defined". We believe we know that it is better to monetize macro-proactively than to actualize virtually. We will amplify our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our capability to extend. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The e-business R&D factor is 60/24/7/365. Without well-planned holistic communities, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. Think fractal. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of nano-M&A. The R&D compliance factor is user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Without 24/7/365, robust project management, you will lack bricks-and-clicks iteration. Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. Without CAE, you will lack convergence. We frequently benchmark web-enabled ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "mission-critical, front-end communities" really mean? We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. ShadowLands is the industry leader of scalable bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics? The angel investors factor is vertical. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We invariably redefine cutting-edge process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "nano-magnetic raw bandwidth" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent completely completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-media? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The development factor is global. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating new channels?