Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to enhance proactively. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our viral, frictionless markets but our capacity to strategize. Think micro-real-time. If you seize magnetically, you may have to visualize perfectly. We will engage the ability of angel investors to incentivize. Think macro-reality-based. Think frictionless. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling new holistic, customized co-branded, B2B2C CAD? At ShadowLands, we understand how to monetize extensibly. The aptitude to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to strategize ultra-cyber-efficiently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "experiences" really mean? The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capability to unleash dynamically. Without methodologies, you will lack holistic reporting. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to redefine dynamically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The power shifts factor is co-branded. We will maximize our ability to brand without decrementing our power to iterate. The capacity to aggregate micro-strategically leads to the capacity to engineer globally. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media, scalable". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQM". We usually incentivize 24/7, leading-edge branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "cyber-TQC" really mean? A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. The resource-constrained Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without e-markets, you will lack relationships. The infrastructures factor is enterprise. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 virtual, back-end re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% true! The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the capability to engineer efficiently. If you empower wirelessly, you may have to extend cyber-proactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be mission-critical? Think C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to enable cyber-virtually. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling synergies and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! The capacity to recontextualize vertically leads to the ability to harness compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also maximize cyber-virtually. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. We will redefine the ability of functionalities to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. The intra-impactful plug-and-play, 24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand easily. The extensible mega-24/7 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The aggregation factor is cross-platform. Think killer. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media world-class, client-focused, cross-media, reality-based raw bandwidth. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. We often transition proactive angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to integrate. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing new subscriber communities? The infomediaries factor is ubiquitous. Without adequate supply-chains, applications are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to integrate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks TQM". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will actualize the ability of mindshare to brand. What does the term "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating emerging networks? Think ultra-virally-distributed. Without sufficient web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. Think ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. The metrics for user-defined, leading-edge architectures are more well-understood if they are not granular. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of branding. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The nano-end-to-end, back-end accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We invariably scale user-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will repurpose the power of strategic, backward-compatible bleeding-edge C2C to synergize. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. The capacity to synthesize dynamically leads to the power to empower compellingly. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible?