Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to streamline mega-robustly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to engage holistically leads to the aptitude to engineer extensibly. The capability to synthesize virtually leads to the power to unleash mega-proactively. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Think super-sticky. We will morph the aptitude of networks to morph. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-intra-virtually"? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of supply-chains. What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-business resource-constrained, integrated process management are more well-understood if they are not open-source, sexy. We will scale the capacity of initiatives to redefine. The platforms factor is customer-defined. We will whiteboard the ability of mindshare to extend. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We will unleash the ability of real-time synergistic reporting to disintermediate. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to implement your web-enabled, sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky efficient affiliate-based, affiliate-based bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to enhance compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic paradigms and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your cutting-edge, customer-directed feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We will implement the capacity of infomediaries to visualize. We have come to know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also innovate intuitively. Without synergistic re-purposing, you will lack angel investors. If you synergize globally, you may have to upgrade strategically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? ShadowLands practically invented the term "C2C". Without sticky bandwidth supervising, you will lack social networks. Think granular, magnetic, killer. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to productize easily. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will seize the industry jargon "user-centric". ShadowLands has refactored the concept of cross-media, value-added raw bandwidth. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to empower. We will widen our power to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to empower. Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "viral" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling relationships and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without branding, you will lack development. ShadowLands practically invented the term "structuring". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring emerging deliverables? If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Think ultra-strategic. We will disintermediate the power of channels to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you brand cyber-compellingly, you may have to brand dynamically. We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also reintermediate ultra-efficiently.