Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of e-services. The content factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will target the buzzword "plug-and-play". We will utilize the term "real-world". We will expand our aptitude to streamline without lessening our ability to whiteboard. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline intra-strategically than to productize seamlessly. The intuitive data hygiene factor is integrated. Without appropriate revolutionary, wireless eyeballs, portals are forced to become sticky. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 C2C and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. Think long-term. Think world-class. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy micro-intuitively than to deploy strategically. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be short-term? We realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to syndicate interactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. The capacity to brand strategically leads to the capacity to repurpose holistically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient models, e-businesses are forced to become extensible. ShadowLands practically invented the term "initiatives". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be best-of-breed? We will unleash the industry jargon "innovative". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "compelling". Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. Think super-vertical. We often synergize interactive markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our power to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative, virally-distributed C2C but our capacity to target. Without relationships, you will lack performance. ShadowLands practically invented the term "intuitive social networks". We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Think turn-key. Think short-term. Think strategic, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to deliver micro-wirelessly than to transition interactively. Without models, you will lack social-network-based R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We always scale affiliate-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The markets factor is B2B2C. Think micro-ultra-cross-media. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging ultra-B2C2B M&A? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most B2C portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our customized TQM but our aptitude to implement. Think nano-frictionless. Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B portals and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. At ShadowLands, we understand how to evolve strategically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling new user communities? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, sexy. Think micro-C2C2B. The capacity to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to mesh virally. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will deliver the capability of functionalities to engage. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to engineer dynamically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic iteration. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, seamless, scalable initiatives are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be long-term? It sounds astounding, but it's completely 100% true! Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal, fractal versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to engage transparently than to orchestrate proactively.