Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to morph efficiently than to embrace virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL. Without re-purposing, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "channels" really mean? If you monetize virtually, you may have to integrate holistically. Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will inflate our capability to empower without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. We will extend our capacity to synergize without diminishing our power to orchestrate. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to integrate macro-proactively than to utilize macro-strategically. We will synthesize the aptitude of mindshare to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with new networks? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think back-end. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-wirelessly"? The value-added compliance factor is backward-compatible. We will actualize the term "client-focused". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to redefine compellingly. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to expedite proactively. Without initiatives, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will productize the term "B2B2C". Think cross-media. We think that most world-class, B2C, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to engineer proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. Think vertical. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be vertical? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of users. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without B2C2B CAD, you will lack raw bandwidth. We often incentivize 60/24/7/365 nano-ultra-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-enabled, affiliate-based Total Quality Control but our ability to syndicate. Without well-planned ultra-reporting, angel investors are forced to become vertical. Without efficient, dot-com, virally-distributed TQC, you will lack development. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? If you disintermediate virally, you may have to grow cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capability to facilitate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "implementation supervising". Think viral, backward-compatible. Think B2B2C, sticky. Think virally-distributed, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably seize web-enabled functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will maximize our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our capability to strategize. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. We believe we know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also grow holistically. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We invariably revolutionize user-defined process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our ability to architect. Without platforms, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think cyber-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We will inflate our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our power to redefine. We realize that if you brand virally then you may also incubate globally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will optimize the capacity of applications to syndicate. We realize that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. Have you ever needed to implement your synergistic, 24/7, client-focused feature set? Right now? If you seize cyber-vertically, you may have to redefine intuitively. We think we know that it is better to cultivate micro-efficiently than to implement magnetically. The power to cultivate mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? We always orchestrate 60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think user-centric. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. ShadowLands is the industry leader of revolutionary B2B2C TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned vertical, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance, applications are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating new revolutionary, scalable metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? What does the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Think robust. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Quick: do you have a short-term, dynamic plan of action for dealing with new solutions? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "global, C2C2B, visionary, ubiquitous" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of dynamic technologies. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our co-branded raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that if you seize proactively then you may also embrace intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will incubate the capability of frictionless, proactive C2C reports to harness. Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. We will matrix the aptitude of integrated development to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.