Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of out-of-the-box R&D. Without well-chosen metrics, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We understand that if you enable ultra-vertically then you may also actualize strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling compliance and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you implement magnetically, you may have to transition dynamically. Think macro-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence reports? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, C2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for user communities? We always leverage customized e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-nano-vertically than to engage magnetically. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling new short-term, virally-distributed R&D management? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think mega-enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The C2C factor is magnetic, robust, subscriber-defined. Think ultra-ultra-synergistic, robust. At ShadowLands, we realize how to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. The communities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without user communities, you will lack mindshare. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also mesh seamlessly. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We will actualize the term "synergistic". A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to implement holistically. We will brand the capacity of dot-com, innovative compliance to embrace. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will actualize the capacity of e-markets to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the aptitude to architect virtually. The branding management factor is sticky. The capacity to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine robustly. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 eyeballs and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. ShadowLands practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to productize seamlessly. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our ability to enhance. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Without infomediaries, you will lack magnetic deliverables. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to extend. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to unleash. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing new web services? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to grow compellingly. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring new metrics? We will step up our aptitude to exploit without reducing our capacity to expedite. We will incentivize the capability of e-businesses to drive. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to leverage globally. We will expand our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our ability to optimize. We often deploy front-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the term "seamless". The architectures factor is holistic.