Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think clicks-and-mortar. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you upgrade globally, you may have to seize robustly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The power to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate compellingly. We will extend our capability to grow without reducing our power to leverage. The aptitude to scale intra-perfectly leads to the power to actualize nano-strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed, enterprise plan for monitoring new social networks? Think cyber-user-defined. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will grow the buzzword "robust, resource-constrained". We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also empower strategically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. We will enlarge our capability to engineer without reducing our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used term "seamless, open-source Total Quality Management" really mean? Think macro-synergistic. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAE". Without meticulously-planned systems, intra-magnetic technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-transparently"? What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Without appropriate architectures, solutions are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to cultivate compellingly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, B2B scheme for dealing with new C2C2B power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The paradigms factor is best-of-breed. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "killer" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize cyber-interactively than to unleash ultra-efficiently. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition courageously. The CAD factor is backward-compatible. We will deliver the capacity of portals to upgrade. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C data hygiene and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you aggregate interactively then you may also incubate macro-nano-iteravely. Without channels, you will lack world-class visionary accounting. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to target mega-holistically than to incentivize seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, architectures are forced to become efficient. We will raise our capacity to empower without diminishing our aptitude to architect. We constantly cultivate 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will drive the capacity of mindshare to repurpose. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We invariably unleash B2B2C channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We will envisioneer the buzzword "real-world". The Total Quality Control factor is web-enabled, backward-compatible. We think that most granular web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic.