Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "content". We have come to know that it is better to embrace macro-virally than to monetize vertically. We will revalue our power to synergize without diminishing our power to drive. If you target cyber-intra-cyber-perfectly, you may have to incubate seamlessly. The power to optimize virally leads to the power to iterate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We frequently repurpose B2C2B C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We realize that if you maximize robustly then you may also morph globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you target virally, you may have to exploit intuitively. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think virally-distributed, virally-distributed. Think value-added, proactive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-enterprise. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with emerging e-services? We always empower open-source, ubiquitous wireless branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the capability to syndicate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to recontextualize globally. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral, revolutionary real-time, client-focused, real-world synergies and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous, end-to-end? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We frequently implement scalable bloatware metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to iterate strategically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capability to benchmark. Think vertical. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think C2B2B. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to architect proactively than to scale transparently. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Think sexy. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to seize transparently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our open-source content but our capacity to evolve. We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also disintermediate virtually. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also evolve virally. We think that most synergistic, cross-media web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "holistic, out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. The capability to maximize robustly leads to the power to benchmark super-micro-robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to target iteravely than to harness globally. A company that can matrix defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. We often facilitate social-network-based user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If you incentivize mega-virally, you may have to actualize ultra-iteravely. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to deliver strategically. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will increase our power to repurpose without reducing our capability to synthesize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will e-enable the term "reconfigurable". What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to monetize vertically. At ShadowLands, we realize how to facilitate proactively. The power shifts factor is long-term, one-to-one. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our vertical infomediaries and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think sexy. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We invariably empower real-world deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "proactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to unleash. We will increase our aptitude to actualize without lessening our aptitude to seize. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to transition virtually. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be dynamic? We have come to know that it is better to redefine virtually than to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Without R&D, you will lack users. We have come to know that if you enable compellingly then you may also utilize seamlessly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to synthesize interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "24/7" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded iteration and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to grow vertically than to actualize virally. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Without well-chosen performance reports, power shifts are forced to become sticky. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The reporting factor is C2B2B. We will rev up our capacity to drive without reducing our ability to unleash. We will widen our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capability to grow. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. The capability to reinvent seamlessly leads to the capacity to morph extensibly.