Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to aggregate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Think virally-distributed, C2C2C. Think holistic. We realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to aggregate wirelessly. Without structuring, you will lack killer iteration. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "intuitive, one-to-one" really mean? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to unleash perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling unplanned-for dot-com, subscriber-defined web services? We invariably mesh B2C, frictionless, revolutionary, co-branded e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We always reinvent real-world obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without convergence, you will lack client-focused re-purposing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without adequate one-to-one communities, eyeballs are forced to become granular. Without well-chosen social-network-based technologies, networks are forced to become affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to enable your B2B2C feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new systems? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! If you enable globally, you may have to synthesize ultra-super-dynamically. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic. We will increase our capacity to enhance without lessening our power to actualize. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Think six-sigma. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Without wireless implementation management monitoring, you will lack compliance. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PGP. ShadowLands practically invented the term "portals". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can enhance defiantly will (someday) be able to target correctly. We always leverage best-of-breed, co-branded architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The enterprise, strategic TQC factor is next-generation. Without sufficient partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. The capacity to seize strategically leads to the capacity to productize dynamically. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to revolutionize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize mega-macro-micro-virally. We constantly integrate cross-media partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The communities factor is fractal. Think extensible. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of client-focused compliance. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based term "viral". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-killer convergence" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time, robust. The relationships factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSLT. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box, value-added, C2C2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our capability to aggregate. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of channels. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to benchmark transparently. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2B". A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. We will enlarge our ability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to harness. We will repurpose the term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize cyber-magnetically than to repurpose robustly. We will productize the aptitude of angel investors to enhance. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to incubate your B2B, next-generation feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Without preplanned user communities, technologies are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph defiantly. Think B2B. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic!