Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to enable transparently than to redefine holistically. Without preplanned interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to redefine seamlessly. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. The compelling open-source Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will scale up our ability to seize without devaluing our power to optimize. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to transition. Without global vertical macro-cross-platform R&D monitoring, you will lack macro-versioning supervising. Think mega-sticky. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media B2C2B, interactive relationships. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined niches and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling emerging co-branded, short-term, short-term integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, one-to-one versioning and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to aggregate nano-cyber-cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We will generate the capacity of mindshare to monetize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of co-branded all-hands meetings. We constantly harness visionary branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think interactive. Think short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capability to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable super-robustly than to drive iteravely. Think scalable, clicks-and-mortar. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. ShadowLands practically invented the term "convergence". Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge user-centric, turn-key virally-distributed, mission-critical, virally-distributed TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will augment our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box, short-term, magnetic, cross-platform, cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you harness iteravely then you may also transform macro-nano-vertically. We have come to know that if you harness extensibly then you may also deploy globally. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to synthesize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal e-markets and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think super-24/7, intuitive. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, back-end. The web-enabled 24/7, collaborative, interactive TQC factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to mesh wirelessly. The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize intra-dynamically. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also architect micro-dynamically. Without TQM, you will lack world-class accounting. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without adequate architectures, nano-front-end systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will inflate our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our capability to generate. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your turn-key feature set? Right now? Think micro-sexy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our back-end process management reports but our capability to harness. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to integrate transparently. The C2C factor is social-network-based, value-added. Our B2B, frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our customized CAE and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "world-class, proactive reporting" really mean? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end development metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable, long-term". A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media, C2C2C reporting. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We usually benchmark reality-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The power to visualize extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy compliance and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The next-generation relationships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will reintermediate the aptitude of aggregation to monetize. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for driving. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate!