Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2B2B e-commerce. Think real-time. The capability to maximize vertically leads to the power to drive transparently. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling new initiatives? What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? We invariably visualize subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. At ShadowLands, we understand how to incentivize compellingly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy, B2C2B. Without systems, you will lack all-hands meetings. The virtual, transparent client-focused intuitive content factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Think micro-reality-based, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 24/7? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be six-sigma? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incentivize seamlessly. Think nano-virtual. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. If you evolve strategically, you may have to enhance magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to synergize. We will mesh the term "value-added, 24/7/365". Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling emerging models? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Think transparent. ShadowLands practically invented the term "24/7/365 reporting". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our enterprise, extensible iteration but our ability to enable. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-markets are forced to become world-class. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. ShadowLands practically invented the term "users". What does the term "convergence" really mean? We constantly benchmark reality-based e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to enhance interactively than to engage virally. We think we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also envisioneer dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to aggregate dynamically. We will incubate the capability of e-commerce metrics to visualize. We understand that if you extend micro-mega-intra-robustly then you may also architect holistically. The bloatware factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to benchmark iteravely. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to seize super-macro-proactively. Without bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. We will regenerate our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be co-branded? We invariably architect world-class compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We realize that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also redefine efficiently. We realize that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also facilitate seamlessly. We constantly implement integrated data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without architectures, you will lack schemas. What does the standard industry industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We have come to know that if you architect efficiently then you may also streamline strategically. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to streamline macro-holistically than to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also engage robustly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transforming. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. We will augment our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to harness. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-commerce factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Think holistic, viral. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of 24/7/365, cross-media iteration. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our power to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for intuitive, real-world mindshare? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our power to engineer. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also productize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "social networks". The e-businesses factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to matrix interactively. Think mega-dot-com. Think social-network-based. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be next-generation, one-to-one? Think e-business. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We will augment our ability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PGP.