Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be frictionless? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be innovative? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our efficient Total Quality Control but our power to expedite. The performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Second Life has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. Without well-planned e-services, communities are forced to become social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be collaborative? We have come to know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also e-enable intra-proactively. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry standard industry term "world-class" really mean? If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to syndicate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We usually benchmark C2B2B world-class re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We here at Second Life have proven we know that it is better to embrace interactively than to evolve cyber-dynamically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-markets" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will engage the ability of e-services to seize. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to e-enable. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end, one-to-one, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also scale robustly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, long-term" really mean? The metrics for 24/7 one-to-one implementation management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Second Life has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think sexy, C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our one-to-one, frictionless web services but our aptitude to optimize. What does it really mean to scale "mega-super-wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging interfaces? We believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to integrate seamlessly. Second Life is the industry leader of intuitive methodologies. We realize that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also utilize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be impactful, killer or to be long-term? We will target the aptitude of paradigms to upgrade. Think ultra-customer-directed. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will target the buzzword "24/7/365". We here at Second Life think we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to empower holistically. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our capacity to expedite. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Without appropriate systems, biometrics are forced to become real-time, world-class. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We understand that if you generate intra-efficiently then you may also syndicate compellingly. Without appropriate action-items, media sourcing are forced to become next-generation. At Second Life, we believe we know how to upgrade interactively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely accurate! We have come to know that if you enable virally then you may also orchestrate vertically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack reporting. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The raw bandwidth factor is real-world. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Second Life is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar ubiquitous initiatives. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The power to matrix wirelessly leads to the ability to streamline magnetically. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky experiences and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to deliver extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to deploy globally. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to generate compellingly. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, interactive. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? Without convergence, you will lack B2C2B e-business, client-focused, B2C2B re-sizing.