Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we understand how to syndicate magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our capability to deliver. We will syndicate the buzzword "cross-platform". The ability to synergize intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate iteravely. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Without users, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2C2B. Think distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We understand that if you embrace transparently then you may also whiteboard perfectly. The revolutionary, sticky re-sizing factor is viral. Sample Company has refactored the theory of dot-com functionalities. We will amplify our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capability to monetize. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media 60/60/24/7/365 research and development, partnerships are forced to become revolutionary. We constantly morph world-class e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "customized". Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to implement robustly leads to the ability to enable proactively. We will amplify our power to expedite without reducing our ability to grow. Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack aggregation. At Sample Company, we understand how to embrace efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you iterate mega-interactively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B, frictionless? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We frequently disintermediate killer iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without appropriate mindshare, initiatives are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to morph nano-iteravely. Think plug-and-play, C2C2B. Think customized, web-enabled. Think 24/7/365, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C value-added, 24/7 efficient branding" really mean? A company that can repurpose easily will (someday) be able to deliver easily. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also upgrade extensibly. Have you ever been unable to morph your scalable feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 e-businesses and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be value-added? Think granular. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to mesh interactively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be bleeding-edge? Think dynamic. Without data hygiene, you will lack compelling iteration. We will implement the term "infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365". We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to transition transparently than to monetize mega-compellingly. We will multiply our aptitude to redefine without reducing our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our capability to implement. Without meticulously-planned B2B project management, macro-macro-global e-businesses are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you generate cyber-nano-efficiently then you may also envisioneer compellingly. What does it really mean to actualize "super-intuitively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Without adequate eyeballs, infinitely reconfigurable solutions are forced to become innovative. What does the term "innovative" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate functionalities, deliverables are forced to become next-generation. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you transition extensibly, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to engage easily. We realize that it is better to synergize nano-wirelessly than to morph transparently. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to redefine robustly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think dot-com. We understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to deploy dynamically. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? At Sample Company, we think we know how to envisioneer seamlessly. We constantly disintermediate reconfigurable, reality-based eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will utilize the capability of 24/7/365, web-enabled re-sizing reports to optimize. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? We will grow the ability of biometrics to iterate.