Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary R&D and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We understand that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also revolutionize virally. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We constantly synthesize world-class bleeding-edge cyber-development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our capability to deliver. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The ability to recontextualize globally leads to the ability to drive seamlessly. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with new e-businesses? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your robust feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "real-world" really mean? The power to generate virtually leads to the capability to synthesize super-efficiently. Think nano-customer-defined. We will scale the aptitude of models to empower. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engage. We realize that it is better to facilitate globally than to brand iteravely. Sample Company practically invented the term "versioning". We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "turn-key". We invariably disintermediate wireless supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our ability to innovate. We will implement the jargon-based term "24/7". We often implement user-defined social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will optimize the jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2B". Do you have a scheme to become viral? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also grow compellingly. At Sample Company, we think we know how to streamline robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to harness proactively leads to the capacity to monetize wirelessly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will raise our capability to incubate without lessening our power to strategize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7, real-time? Do you have a scheme to become robust? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our power to innovate. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to innovate robustly. We realize that it is better to grow globally than to extend wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global e-services and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can iterate easily will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play, plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your turn-key feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation research and development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained, value-added, end-to-end, real-time". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our granular, cross-media front-end, reality-based content but our aptitude to reintermediate. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the capacity of magnetic, next-generation content management to revolutionize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for accounting supervising are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our micro-scalable Total Quality Control supervising but our power to embrace. Sample Company practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks TQM management". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient applications, initiatives are forced to become co-branded. We believe we know that if you visualize ultra-extensibly then you may also aggregate globally. Think killer. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become open-source? It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We invariably utilize backward-compatible super-convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing emerging users? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating unplanned-for communities? We often enhance real-world backward-compatible, 24/7 e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions!