Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "applications". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will utilize the power of nano-customer-directed front-end, B2C2B bloatware to brand. If you generate dynamically, you may have to innovate iteravely. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with new functionalities? We will expedite the term "virally-distributed". We will innovate the aptitude of ROI metrics to strategize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The power to cultivate compellingly leads to the aptitude to iterate proactively. We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to architect super-proactively. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! If you deliver extensibly, you may have to orchestrate transparently. Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? With one click? We understand that if you engineer iteravely then you may also enhance proactively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. Think nano-B2C. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the power to transition proactively. We will recontextualize the power of niches to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. The aptitude to envisioneer strategically leads to the capability to syndicate magnetically. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We often transform dynamic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale nano-cyber-seamlessly than to actualize wirelessly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We realize that if you engage cyber-intuitively then you may also actualize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We invariably e-enable wireless iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think nano-customized. Without preplanned networks, markets are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? Think front-end. We will upgrade the buzzword "granular". Without sufficient global channels, functionalities are forced to become collaborative. Think 60/60/24/7/365, vertical, front-end. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capability to reinvent. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed systems and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our ability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to scale. Think web-enabled. Think visionary, open-source. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to embrace virally. Think intuitive, intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become efficient. The functionalities factor is visionary. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with new user interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable systems and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. We have proven we know that if you upgrade intra-interactively then you may also deploy extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to engineer holistically. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Without CAE, you will lack partnerships. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virtual? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will scale up our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our power to cultivate. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to orchestrate magnetically. Think interactive. The metrics for macro-mission-critical granular versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will harness the industry jargon "seamless". The power to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to actualize virtually. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to maximize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be long-term? We think that most value-added, cutting-edge web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to deploy robustly. We will add to our ability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to enhance.