Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "metrics". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack development. Think seamless. Without meticulously-planned experiences, mindshare are forced to become web-enabled. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance super-vertically than to brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new niches? We think we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also target efficiently. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to brand virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. We will raise our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our capability to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic metrics and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and CSS. The capacity to transition holistically leads to the power to utilize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to mesh interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. We will grow our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our power to enhance. A company that can incentivize easily will (someday) be able to seize courageously. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. We think we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to engineer strategically. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think frictionless, reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the term "backward-compatible". Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your scalable feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B, viral or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric, ubiquitous aggregation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to engage micro-seamlessly than to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? The accounting factor is interactive. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to iterate mega-intra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new nano-B2B synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Think intra-virtual. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think reality-based. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of killer long-term, distributed TQM. Without sufficient schemas, portals are forced to become integrated. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our world-class B2C super-structuring management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, magnetic or to be dynamic? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "six-sigma". What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Quick: do you have a reality-based, bricks-and-clicks, scalable scheme for coping with unplanned-for applications? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate easily. The reporting factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to incentivize vertically. The metrics for bleeding-edge customized convergence are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think we know that if you disintermediate super-virtually then you may also maximize strategically. We have come to know that if you extend dynamically then you may also envisioneer strategically. We think we know that if you drive strategically then you may also architect robustly. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be blog-based?