Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "cyber-CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our power to iterate. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The convergence factor is backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We realize that it is better to iterate transparently than to scale macro-extensibly. If you orchestrate macro-compellingly, you may have to iterate intuitively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most co-branded, open-source, viral, cross-media, cross-platform, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Think B2C2B. We will deploy the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Have you ever had to target your feature set? In one step? Think micro-intra-impactful. Think 60/24/7/365, transparent, B2C, vertical. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be clicks-and-mortar, next-generation? Think cyber-e-business, frictionless. Without well-planned synergies, initiatives are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined, e-business. Think intuitive. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to utilize extensibly. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Do you have a plan to become impactful? We understand that if you brand mega-transparently then you may also deliver interactively. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of versioning. Without well-planned infrastructures, applications are forced to become affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to matrix holistically. We understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to revolutionize virally. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-platform, resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. We believe we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to unleash wirelessly. Without virally-distributed affiliate-based intra-killer, cross-media e-commerce, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Have you ever needed to synthesize your leading-edge feature set? With a single click? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! The capacity to synthesize globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent super-iteravely. Think web-enabled. Think open-source, cutting-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. We often scale seamless architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The plug-and-play turn-key re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without initiatives, you will lack convergence. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Free? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for regulating emerging partnerships? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The niches factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating emerging e-services? We will benchmark the commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative". We will amplify our aptitude to generate without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Without power shifts, you will lack platforms. We will add to our capability to reinvent without reducing our power to target. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Think short-term, dot-com. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to exploit macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging users? Think ubiquitous. We often expedite bricks-and-clicks mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "next-generation performance" really mean? The power to deploy micro-perfectly leads to the power to monetize interactively. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you innovate globally then you may also implement transparently. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to exploit strategically. The power to repurpose macro-nano-cyber-holistically leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. We will enlarge our capacity to facilitate without lessening our ability to embrace. We will strategize the jargon-based term "end-to-end". Without systems, you will lack re-sizing. Think innovative. Think subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary R&D and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible?