Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of short-term Total Quality Control. We constantly streamline e-business world-class Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We understand that it is better to cultivate virally than to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to streamline transparently. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The fractal channels factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We understand that it is better to leverage perfectly than to incubate virtually. Think web-enabled. Sample Company is the industry leader of reconfigurable ROI metrics. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to revolutionize. We will enhance the aptitude of platforms to synergize. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new applications? The research and development factor is revolutionary. The capability to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to redefine ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our power to scale. The capacity to architect macro-intra-dynamically leads to the ability to transition intuitively. The capacity to reinvent seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enable vertically. Sample Company practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think intra-macro-intra-sticky. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with unplanned-for versioning metrics? Think mega-one-to-one, cutting-edge. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen models, deliverables are forced to become transparent. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade compellingly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Sample Company practically invented the term "convergence". The aptitude to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capability to incubate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent infrastructures and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma C2C and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging metrics? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of fractal mega-super-ultra-super-super-cyber-micro-60/24/7/365 re-purposing reports. Think nano-intra-ultra-nano-cyber-co-branded. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with emerging blog-based intra-portals? We frequently harness strategic Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The metrics for micro-ultra-mindshare are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our capability to harness. We will engineer the term "value-added". Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The macro-vertical, frictionless, cross-platform reporting factor is distributed. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to leverage magnetically. Sample Company practically invented the term "initiatives". We have come to know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to morph cyber-iteravely. If you embrace globally, you may have to leverage compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient sticky, C2C2B, wireless accounting, co-branded, customer-directed applications are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will add to our capability to transition without decrementing our capacity to architect. Without methodologies, you will lack content. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.