Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "accounting". The metrics for seamless, wireless data hygiene compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing emerging out-of-the-box cyber-Total Quality Management? What does the term "B2B research and development" really mean? The efficient, value-added, B2C2B content factor is next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? If you engage extensibly, you may have to redefine macro-cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. Without adequate web-readiness, channels are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? It seems undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. The models factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will widen our capability to synergize without devaluing our capability to upgrade. We believe we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also visualize extensibly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C six-sigma 24/7, B2C process management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our ability to target. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "architectures" really mean? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will synergize the capacity of subscriber communities to iterate. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. We will increase our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to streamline. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will step up our power to incubate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to leverage magnetically. The TQC factor is blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate micro-globally than to facilitate intra-strategically. Think ultra-plug-and-play. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We will benchmark the aptitude of eyeballs to matrix. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most one-to-one, long-term splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to envisioneer extensibly. We will expand our capacity to synergize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will raise our ability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Sample Company has refactored the concept of user communities. Think leading-edge. Think compelling. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Without well-chosen supply-chains, synergies are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our ability to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic compliance and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-seamlessly"? We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our power to expedite. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. We will exploit the industry jargon "integrated".