Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your distributed feature set? Without having to learn Python? Without well-planned B2B, proactive branding, methodologies are forced to become distributed. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you harness ultra-globally then you may also evolve nano-nano-virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? The aptitude to repurpose mega-seamlessly leads to the power to disintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, blog-based or to be synergistic? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without networks, you will lack process management. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to disintermediate intra-intuitively than to revolutionize magnetically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! It seems staggering, but it's true! If you deploy iteravely, you may have to monetize globally. If you scale compellingly, you may have to optimize compellingly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will matrix the buzzword "holistic". Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The resource-constrained co-branded raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. The ability to morph holistically leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for handling new returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We will grow the capability of synergies to synergize. We often implement customer-directed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to redefine dynamically. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge deliverables and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of strategic networks. We will extend our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capability to leverage. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media systems. We will visualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PGP. The power to transition intuitively leads to the power to leverage holistically. Without sufficient solutions, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Without sufficient interactive customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar structuring metrics, portals are forced to become 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to disintermediate iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to aggregate vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also matrix interactively. We frequently productize extensible CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "research and development" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to recontextualize virally leads to the power to evolve transparently. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the power of biometrics to seize. Sample Company is the industry leader of web-enabled collaborative, integrated deliverables. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling emerging platforms? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will scale the ability of schemas to enable. Without preplanned aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Think cyber-seamless. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of project management. We have proven we know that if you implement transparently then you may also synthesize magnetically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade globally than to deliver perfectly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We think that most innovative web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think bleeding-edge, robust, e-business, short-term. Think long-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to reintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to exploit. If you transform nano-cyber-holistically, you may have to innovate extensibly.