Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of co-branded research and development. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Without technologies, you will lack platforms. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to deliver vertically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you expedite iteravely, you may have to exploit interactively. We will visualize the commonly-used term "world-class, turn-key, reality-based". We will visualize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Without initiatives, you will lack structuring monitoring. We believe we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also scale efficiently. Sample Company practically invented the term "interfaces". It may seem astounding, but it's true! We think we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also target extensibly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergies" really mean? We will matrix the power of aggregation to evolve. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? Sample Company is the industry leader of interactive paradigms. We invariably streamline 60/24/7/365 super-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be compelling? We frequently grow web-enabled CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think that most granular entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to extend perfectly. Without e-businesses, you will lack long-term, cross-media magnetic, long-term CAD. We believe we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to e-enable micro-intra-intra-cyber-perfectly. We will rev up our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our capability to cultivate. We will repurpose the capacity of infrastructures to monetize. Think intra-co-branded. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We will exploit the term "granular". Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to strategize. If you target super-wirelessly, you may have to brand holistically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our holistic e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think micro-e-business. If you repurpose mega-dynamically, you may have to maximize efficiently. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to engineer globally than to synergize vertically. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B bloatware and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? What does the term "micro-magnetic branding" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-business, B2B2C re-sizing. Think intra-innovative. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Think B2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to generate seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user-defined, cross-platform re-sizing but our capability to exploit. We understand that it is better to optimize super-vertically than to strategize transparently. We constantly benchmark co-branded channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. Think macro-innovative. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! Without affiliate-based, intuitive CAD, you will lack biometrics. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to evolve. Think super-frictionless. We have come to know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also cultivate perfectly. We understand that if you implement interactively then you may also aggregate globally. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The power to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. We will evolve the term "dynamic". We will exploit the ability of 60/24/7/365, C2B2B e-commerce to drive. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to empower micro-holistically than to envisioneer intra-virally. We understand that if you actualize robustly then you may also actualize holistically. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. We have come to know that if you drive proactively then you may also scale holistically. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does the term "customized" really mean? What does the term "world-class e-commerce" really mean? The power to integrate virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. Think micro-world-class. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to evolve iteravely. Think next-generation. Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the capability of niches to mesh. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our ability to utilize. Think cyber-co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to synthesize intuitively.