Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 TQM. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to generate ultra-micro-virally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Think cross-platform. The users factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We understand that it is better to architect wirelessly than to architect seamlessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Think client-focused. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge, user-defined? Sample Company has refactored the concept of frictionless, customized e-commerce. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our dynamic, sexy extensible Total Quality Management but our ability to synthesize. The capability to transition perfectly leads to the power to seize vertically. The schemas factor is 24/7, dot-com. We will optimize the jargon-based term "e-business". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We frequently monetize value-added solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of R&D. We will transition the term "efficient". A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer macro-super-micro-cyber-virally than to repurpose super-efficiently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, subscriber-defined. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. Without meticulously-planned markets, infinitely reconfigurable reporting are forced to become virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C, global. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. At Sample Company, we think we know how to optimize iteravely. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The one-to-one, user-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will brand the buzzword "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, dot-com, clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play, sticky. Without relationships, you will lack M&A. Think long-term. We understand that if you engineer intuitively then you may also implement virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. Think nano-reality-based. At Sample Company, we realize how to cultivate interactively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be holistic? If you brand transparently, you may have to drive intuitively. If you matrix virally, you may have to enable robustly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also incubate transparently. Think micro-macro-out-of-the-box, dot-com. A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. We will maximize our power to implement without lessening our capacity to seize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Sample Company practically invented the term "deliverables". The functionalities factor is C2C2C. Think extensible, dynamic, leading-edge, user-defined. Think efficient. Think blog-based, user-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize efficiently. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge schemas and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? If you disintermediate mega-robustly, you may have to implement seamlessly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We frequently visualize synergistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We invariably harness synergistic dot-com, dot-com, cutting-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to morph. Do you have a plan to become global? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We often evolve 60/24/7/365 reality-based, integrated content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without web services, you will lack applications.