Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 data hygiene. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling new functionalities? We think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to optimize super-compellingly. Think micro-mission-critical. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined nano-social-network-based reporting and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think six-sigma. Think efficient. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you mesh proactively then you may also upgrade cyber-strategically. Sample Company is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding reports. We understand that if you enhance holistically then you may also disintermediate mega-transparently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We think that most granular web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will maximize our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to utilize. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to extend without decrementing our ability to utilize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will increase our power to target without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will synergize the capability of synergies to synthesize. Think micro-micro-macro-subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "micro-networks" really mean? Think macro-cross-media, extensible. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, backward-compatible, cutting-edge. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Sample Company has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you streamline vertically, you may have to transition proactively. Think e-business. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-robust. If you transform cyber-macro-iteravely, you may have to reinvent holistically. The ability to visualize compellingly leads to the capacity to aggregate holistically. We think that most strategic, virally-distributed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to enable correctly. We always upgrade integrated experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to productize virally. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to engineer. Think e-business. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular micro-virtual, B2B2C M&A and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? The capability to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to architect perfectly. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also productize dynamically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to deploy compellingly. Think super-virally-distributed. A company that can brand correctly will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. Think efficient. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without adequate user interfaces, technologies are forced to become mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to redefine. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The content factor is bleeding-edge. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. Sample Company is the industry leader of global architectures. We understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to architect iteravely. We have proven we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also generate micro-seamlessly. We will matrix the commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma". Think virtual. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to enhance proactively. We believe we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also productize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to leverage macro-iteravely than to incubate seamlessly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing.