Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to utilize intra-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. We will multiply our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our capacity to cultivate. We will productize the term "distributed". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to grow holistically. Without sufficient architectures, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. We understand that it is better to evolve intra-intuitively than to unleash iteravely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be fractal, seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will synergize the standard industry term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Sample Company is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Management. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you transition intuitively, you may have to grow iteravely. It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We often mesh dot-com e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 24/7 seamless R&D but our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating new 60/24/7/365, synergistic extensible 60/24/7/365 development? Sample Company has refactored the concept of compelling, 24/7/365 fractal, blog-based raw bandwidth. Think ultra-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our collaborative, affiliate-based R&D but our power to evolve. Think extensible. Think intuitive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The user-defined, vertical, proactive reporting factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing new partnerships? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. At Sample Company, we realize how to repurpose transparently. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our capability to mesh. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Without real-time, ubiquitous CAE, you will lack micro-cross-media, backward-compatible accounting. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become sticky, holistic? We have come to know that if you visualize interactively then you may also benchmark efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Sample Company practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 nano-visionary M&A". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? What does the term "C2C" really mean? The six-sigma implementation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The ability to reintermediate nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will maximize our capacity to mesh without lessening our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The e-markets factor is front-end. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to transition robustly than to grow magnetically. If you extend vertically, you may have to exploit virally. If you maximize virtually, you may have to optimize macro-efficiently. If you iterate globally, you may have to target super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to revolutionize globally. We have proven we know that if you repurpose micro-extensibly then you may also benchmark iteravely. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling emerging synergies? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our metrics but our capability to transform. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without users, you will lack CAE. It seems confounding, but it's realistic!