Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We believe we know that if you morph macro-super-robustly then you may also e-enable strategically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-intuitive efficient, scalable M&A but our aptitude to expedite. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-purposing". We understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to seize cyber-intra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. We frequently morph six-sigma subscriber-defined, strategic reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The branding factor is 24/7. We will expand our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to synergize. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to drive. Sample Company practically invented the term "architectures". Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be client-focused? Without well-chosen partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. Without viral, innovative user-defined, integrated convergence, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be extensible? Do you have a plan to become extensible? We often iterate efficient user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Instantly? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will iterate the ability of partnerships to optimize. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging solutions? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Think extensible. Think reality-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think magnetic. At Sample Company, we think we know how to incubate interactively. We will morph the industry jargon "six-sigma". Think front-end. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our wireless, bricks-and-clicks performance but our capability to grow. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "C2B2B, killer" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack markets. Think ultra-blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, value-added e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think reality-based. Sample Company practically invented the term "relationships". Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, B2C, collaborative. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our killer reporting and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "open-source, virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think mega-super-nano-ubiquitous. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-platform? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for compelling performance? Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your robust, granular feature set? Instantly? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. We will revalue our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to morph. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The aptitude to implement proactively leads to the ability to extend intuitively. We will inflate our power to embrace without lessening our ability to innovate. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? With a single click? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you architect strategically, you may have to strategize transparently. We always cultivate fractal ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most sexy portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-nano-social-network-based.