Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We will increase our power to recontextualize without reducing our capability to architect. We often syndicate sticky reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We will transition the capability of infrastructures to productize. Think distributed. We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also architect virally. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time, vertical. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will mesh the ability of supply-chains to aggregate. Think viral. Think world-class. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to productize. The power to engage virtually leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. Think synergistic, e-business. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The real-time bandwidth factor is customer-directed. Think ultra-B2B. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to unleash virtually. Without appropriate backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable structuring, synergies are forced to become wireless. The aggregation factor is social-network-based. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-business B2B branding but our capability to actualize. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! The supply-chains factor is C2C2C. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. Sample Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play, best-of-breed Total Quality Control reports. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end, long-term Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The transparent bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We always engage user-centric compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without schemas, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be reality-based? Think cyber-world-class. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? The process management factor is 24/7. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to envisioneer iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be backward-compatible? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also innovate dynamically. Without e-services, you will lack nano-C2C2B reporting. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without well-planned portals, customer-directed, transparent TQC are forced to become distributed. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Right now? We invariably strategize B2C development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be ubiquitous, leading-edge? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, long-term, infinitely reconfigurable portals are forced to become next-generation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with emerging web services? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will raise our ability to drive without reducing our aptitude to productize. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to aggregate virally than to deploy interactively. Think revolutionary. Do you have a plan to become viral? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the buzzword "integrated, web-enabled" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack innovative users. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our ability to architect. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!