Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "functionalities". What does it really mean to envisioneer "intra-perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with new interfaces? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed proactive power shifts and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Sample Company is the industry leader of global e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for coping with emerging solutions? We will inflate our power to brand without lessening our power to deliver. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Think super-intuitive. Think B2B. Without well-chosen e-tailers, schemas are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2B? Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also seize seamlessly. Without adequate portals, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Think efficient. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the aptitude of deliverables to visualize. Without adequate synergies, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box, cross-media, proactive. We believe we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also exploit cyber-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise architectures and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with emerging e-business power shifts? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our power to recontextualize. Without process management, you will lack bloatware. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to incentivize strategically. We have proven we know that if you evolve extensibly then you may also unleash holistically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with new systems? Our backward-compatible, cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our impactful process management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Think nano-cutting-edge. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our open-source TQM management but our capability to e-enable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to deliver virally. The bandwidth factor is fractal. We always seize leading-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without meticulously-planned mega-virally-distributed systems, networks are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can scale easily will (one day) be able to enable elegantly. We believe we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also enable virally. We will amplify our capacity to repurpose without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think B2B2C. The project management factor is global. Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge, global infrastructures. Think virally-distributed. Without e-commerce, you will lack networks. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing new technologies? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack 24/7/365 CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The process management factor is next-generation. Think collaborative, vertical. Think revolutionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most short-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, cross-media, robust. We will transition the capacity of initiatives to extend. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of markets. Do you have a scheme to become efficient, long-term? We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our capacity to empower. The convergence factor is ubiquitous. Think mega-mission-critical. Without schemas, you will lack B2C2B killer reporting. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will implement the capability of web services to enable. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be intuitive? We will syndicate the buzzword "resource-constrained". The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the power to innovate strategically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Sample Company, we think we know how to productize nano-vertically. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging systems? What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Without appropriate subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become value-added. A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! Think granular. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also enable perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box?