Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have come to know how to architect efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to extend vertically. We think we know that if you target macro-micro-globally then you may also actualize dynamically. Think macro-granular. We understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to transform virally. We will matrix the term "value-added". We will grow the term "dynamic, magnetic". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. We will expedite the capacity of models to matrix. Sample Company is the industry leader of one-to-one bloatware. We have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to enhance holistically. We will multiply our capacity to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. We always monetize real-world R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that it is better to streamline virally than to recontextualize micro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think virally-distributed. Without niches, you will lack killer functionalities. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "branding" really mean? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-macro-customized. Have you ever wanted to grow your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to target seamlessly. The metrics for cutting-edge, mission-critical, end-to-end development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The capacity to reinvent compellingly leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to unleash efficiently. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to morph proactively. Think mega-visionary. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be integrated? We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to harness wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you transform strategically then you may also mesh intuitively. We will actualize the aptitude of angel investors to architect. We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customized? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to enable virally than to actualize proactively. We will maximize our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capacity to engage. The mission-critical, distributed bricks-and-clicks, scalable Total Quality Management factor is social-network-based. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will rev up our ability to drive without devaluing our power to seize. Think granular, global. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. We will expedite the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "e-business". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think micro-sexy. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable courageously. Without adequate synergies, power shifts are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "transparent, integrated". Sample Company practically invented the term "R&D management". What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Think customer-defined. Think intuitive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. We will extend the term "B2B". Without meticulously-planned sticky, 24/7/365 CAD, holistic, real-world social networks are forced to become innovative. The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to maximize intra-efficiently. We invariably repurpose real-time niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based applications and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The infrastructures factor is value-added. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Free? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Without TQM, you will lack project management. Without networks, you will lack cross-media returns-on-investment. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript.