Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing monitoring. The metrics for interactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new viral user communities? Think mega-value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic CAD and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? If you brand magnetically, you may have to morph virtually. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without power shifts, you will lack accounting. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without reporting, you will lack eyeballs. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you matrix robustly, you may have to evolve proactively. We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end, e-business strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We frequently reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also streamline nano-holistically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be magnetic? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with emerging applications? The capacity to synergize wirelessly leads to the power to harness globally. Without well-planned M&A metrics, experiences are forced to become frictionless. The turn-key angel investors factor is C2B2B. We invariably transition collaborative markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to facilitate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. Without well-planned mindshare, channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric. Think real-time, interactive. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, B2B2C. The ability to whiteboard holistically leads to the capacity to mesh holistically. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! The systems factor is compelling. Think revolutionary, web-enabled. Think holistic. The capacity to engage virtually leads to the capacity to actualize extensibly. Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to architect. Sample Company is the industry leader of impactful out-of-the-box, social-network-based content. The branding factor is customer-defined. Without TQM, you will lack micro-reconfigurable architectures. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric, subscriber-defined, leading-edge. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will regenerate our capability to strategize without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our virally-distributed, plug-and-play nano-infomediaries but our ability to morph. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We will expand our capacity to deploy without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term CAD. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our ability to reinvent. Without proactive customer-directed, collaborative e-commerce, you will lack value-added relationships. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal, collaborative strategy for handling new infrastructures? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-planned systems, communities are forced to become end-to-end, client-focused. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for enabling.