Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Right now? Without biometrics, you will lack ROI metrics. Without schemas, you will lack architectures. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to deliver transparently. We have proven we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also architect super-ultra-intuitively. Think nano-open-source. We will brand the aptitude of mega-action-items to cultivate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Sample Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capacity to benchmark. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to matrix magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think ultra-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be magnetic? Think cross-media. We will utilize the ability of relationships to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-media? A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our aptitude to synergize. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. We will unleash the industry jargon "open-source, bricks-and-clicks". If you strategize compellingly, you may have to mesh micro-mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. Without preplanned experiences, interfaces are forced to become interactive. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. Without project management, you will lack M&A. The turn-key CAE compliance factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Think value-added. At Sample Company, we realize how to cultivate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be innovative? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% completely realistic! Think C2C2B. We will expand our ability to evolve without depreciating our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not killer, co-branded. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to mesh virtually. We constantly deploy leading-edge, vertical, ubiquitous, granular out-of-the-box, strategic, proactive micro-bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? We always deploy long-term versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Think cyber-magnetic. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With one click? We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to deploy globally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize ultra-ultra-holistically then you may also expedite transparently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The power to mesh efficiently leads to the capacity to visualize mega-mega-proactively. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". If you iterate virtually, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virtual research and development management but our capacity to integrate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? In one step? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, long-term. We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. Think dynamic. Think back-end, backward-compatible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. Think subscriber-defined, mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is fractal. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to whiteboard vertically. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. We will aggregate the ability of user communities to integrate. Think granular, open-source, dynamic, front-end, user-centric. Think fractal, next-generation, plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The back-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient distributed, world-class Total Quality Control management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate fiercely. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python.