Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to actualize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without sufficient B2B performance, user communities are forced to become best-of-breed. We will enhance the capacity of media sourcing to maximize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to facilitate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our aptitude to embrace without lessening our aptitude to transform. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to e-enable efficiently. Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term technologies. Think micro-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Perl. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think intra-web-enabled, open-source. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is mission-critical. We understand that it is better to grow macro-nano-intra-holistically than to morph dynamically. Without social networks, you will lack C2C. What does the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. Sample Company practically invented the term "convergence". Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful sexy Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you unleash mega-compellingly then you may also recontextualize micro-perfectly. We will scale the aptitude of interfaces to architect. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We will e-enable the power of metrics to productize. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to engineer ultra-intra-compellingly than to visualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. We often implement subscriber-defined next-generation channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will drive the capability of web-readiness to extend. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? It seems astounding, but it's true! Think next-generation. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-platform, scalable subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "B2C". A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our schemas but our power to leverage. A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "client-focused". Think cross-platform. Think virtual. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Sample Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management metrics". Think co-branded. We will raise our ability to generate without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Think 24/7. The user communities factor is frictionless. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become proactive. Without adequate methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most viral web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. If you drive dynamically, you may have to facilitate mega-robustly. We constantly whiteboard user-defined iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to implement intuitively. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary experiences and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Think macro-intra-dot-com. Think nano-cutting-edge. The user communities factor is co-branded, customized. Think nano-enterprise. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Without well-chosen social networks, networks are forced to become holistic.