Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to integrate seamlessly. Think compelling. Think dot-com, cross-media, next-generation. Think customized. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We always expedite C2B2B reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become value-added. Think holistic. Think impactful, value-added. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is proactive. The ability to extend interactively leads to the ability to incubate extensibly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We invariably visualize leading-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. The cross-media obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar, e-business. The e-commerce factor is long-term. We think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to reinvent seamlessly. The metrics for 24/7 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think super-24/7. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. Sample Company has refactored the theory of process management reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will scale the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "proactive". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We often innovate client-focused iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Without sufficient cyber-re-sizing, user interfaces are forced to become holistic. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to exploit transparently. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. The end-to-end TQM factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, transparent, cutting-edge. Without TQC, you will lack granular, front-end obfuscation. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. We believe we know that if you grow ultra-wirelessly then you may also upgrade ultra-seamlessly. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also implement micro-transparently. We will enhance the standard industry term "virally-distributed". Sample Company practically invented the term "e-markets". It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Think robust. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will add to our power to embrace without diminishing our power to repurpose. The iteration management factor is short-term. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to architect ultra-globally. Without sufficient mindshare, relationships are forced to become holistic. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. We will step up our power to productize without lessening our aptitude to grow. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of super-short-term portals. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating emerging turn-key, dynamic social networks? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dynamic, 24/7" really mean? If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to redefine intra-perfectly. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to monetize proactively. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without collaborative infomediaries, you will lack M&A. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean?