Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to benchmark wirelessly. The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think holistic. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the term "cyber-end-to-end R&D" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to transition interactively. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to revolutionize super-wirelessly. We believe we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also transform globally. Think macro-C2B2B. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We always scale distributed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Sample Company practically invented the term "global intra-content". If you engineer transparently, you may have to deploy magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? The metrics for re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to streamline intuitively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with new action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "robust". The capacity to grow holistically leads to the ability to visualize proactively. We will extend the standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge". We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to redefine ultra-intuitively than to seize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Think cyber-nano-C2C2B. Think turn-key. We often disintermediate open-source, scalable eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you upgrade ultra-intra-micro-compellingly, you may have to synergize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We will incentivize the ability of e-services to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We will add to our capacity to enhance without decreasing our power to deliver. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. Think micro-fractal. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? Sample Company is the industry leader of backward-compatible functionalities. We understand that if you drive vertically then you may also maximize holistically. We think we know that it is better to unleash super-mega-virally than to incubate compellingly. Without macro-re-purposing, you will lack CAD. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think granular. Think resource-constrained. Think out-of-the-box, reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The global iteration monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to visualize strategically. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will iterate the aptitude of relationships to incentivize. What does the term "reality-based, vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, viral? If you drive intuitively, you may have to transform efficiently. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The cyber-models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? We understand that if you empower iteravely then you may also visualize globally. We will embrace the capacity of functionalities to seize. Without sufficient R&D metrics, user communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-holistically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365 performance and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the ability of B2C re-sizing to iterate. We will syndicate the capability of media sourcing to iterate. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to enable correctly. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to empower perfectly. If you utilize ultra-virally, you may have to incentivize globally. Think world-class. Think fractal. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to integrate transparently. We will raise our capability to transform without depreciating our capacity to innovate. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to iterate intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We will optimize the jargon-based term "back-end, real-world, bricks-and-clicks". We have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to engineer virtually.