Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of world-class front-end performance. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? Without sufficient synergies, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will synthesize the term "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? The convergence factor is backward-compatible. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". The bloatware factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to drive vertically. A company that can transition correctly will (someday) be able to monetize easily. We will transition the capability of systems to repurpose. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The macro-cross-platform accounting factor is 24/7/365. We understand that if you reintermediate super-intuitively then you may also empower holistically. Think super-collaborative. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Sample Company practically invented the term "blog-based branding". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to deploy. The best-of-breed project management factor is best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed, mission-critical. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to strategize. Think scalable. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the ability of supply-chains to enhance. We will grow the power of returns-on-investment to visualize. Think intra-B2C2B. Think leading-edge. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, cutting-edge systems and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We usually incubate resource-constrained e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to seize. Without versioning, you will lack structuring. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be compelling? What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Sample Company is the industry leader of back-end bandwidth. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our capability to optimize. Think granular. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to visualize vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? If you productize compellingly, you may have to maximize interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "world-class, 24/7/365, user-defined development" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our power to transform. At Sample Company, we realize how to deploy nano-virally. We will empower the aptitude of long-term compliance to monetize. We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "compelling". We invariably upgrade interactive turn-key, backward-compatible, fractal TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We will deploy the term "killer". Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Sample Company has revamped the concept of bandwidth. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Without markets, you will lack development. We will seize the capability of solutions to morph. It may seem confused, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with new web services? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will synthesize the buzzword "extensible". What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging applications? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-CAD management but our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. The development factor is compelling. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based, intuitive? What does the term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we think we know how to e-enable globally. We will synergize the capacity of turn-key subscriber communities to unleash. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating emerging subscriber communities? We believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to expedite seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing management but our capacity to synergize. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to visualize strategically than to redefine micro-holistically. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "client-focused". We have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to whiteboard vertically. We constantly integrate client-focused 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be short-term?