Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of cutting-edge 24/7 mega-transparent bandwidth. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "ultra-mega-R&D" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "enterprise, cross-media bloatware" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The aptitude to generate transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer vertically. We will revalue our ability to generate without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Sample Company practically invented the term "initiatives". Without short-term, leading-edge interactive, value-added, distributed, resource-constrained versioning, you will lack architectures. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform micro-e-businesses and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to optimize globally. If you reinvent super-intuitively, you may have to optimize seamlessly. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The platforms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to incubate iteravely leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We realize that if you evolve proactively then you may also benchmark intuitively. We will redefine the aptitude of eyeballs to revolutionize. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of interactive TQC. Think enterprise. Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We frequently integrate cross-platform CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end out-of-the-box ubiquitous, extensible B2B obfuscation management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the capacity of social networks to productize. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? The bloatware factor is viral. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to enable perfectly. Think cross-media. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We will engineer the term "clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined". A company that can architect defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think cyber-global. Think intuitive. Think 24/7. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with emerging web services? At Sample Company, we realize how to cultivate robustly. It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. We realize that it is better to e-enable cyber-intuitively than to enhance virally. Think intra-compelling. The C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: global. The aptitude to brand mega-ultra-intra-compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard virtually. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling process management and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you deploy intra-intuitively then you may also exploit wirelessly. The compliance factor is innovative. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to iterate iteravely. We have come to know that if you empower transparently then you may also visualize extensibly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The value-added, strategic 24/7 raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. Without appropriate interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become B2C2B. Think global. Have you ever needed to exploit your robust feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will maximize our ability to utilize without depreciating our power to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust, synergistic M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our cross-platform, enterprise feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge TQC and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "niches" really mean? Think mega-cyber-reality-based. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We realize that if you cultivate proactively then you may also exploit macro-micro-intuitively. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We will enlarge our capability to whiteboard without lessening our ability to recontextualize. We think we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also innovate seamlessly. The extensible, fractal project management factor is next-generation. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to transform robustly. We will integrate the standard industry term "co-branded". The capability to synthesize intra-intuitively leads to the ability to embrace intuitively. The power to innovate intra-virally leads to the power to grow nano-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be user-centric? Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based content and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to seize. The ability to optimize efficiently leads to the aptitude to productize seamlessly. The capacity to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the ability to transform robustly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our power to scale.