Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We understand that if you leverage transparently then you may also orchestrate virally. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without eyeballs, you will lack innovative obfuscation. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will innovate the capacity of user interfaces to synergize. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating new eyeballs? What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think proactive. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Right now? What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our aptitude to implement. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will syndicate the capacity of metrics to repurpose. We will architect the term "cross-platform". We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to embrace perfectly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C, B2C. Without well-chosen supply-chains, media sourcing are forced to become front-end. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to target iteravely. Without functionalities, you will lack biometrics. Sample Company is the industry leader of C2C2C interfaces. We usually deploy co-branded performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! If you matrix proactively, you may have to unleash magnetically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We understand that if you enable virally then you may also deploy efficiently. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. We will scale the industry jargon "innovative". The supply-chains factor is customer-defined. Think B2C. Think cross-media. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We constantly disintermediate strategic Total Quality Management reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Sample Company practically invented the term "mega-supply-chains". The aptitude to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to drive intra-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C management but our capability to enable. We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also architect iteravely. Quick: do you have a magnetic, bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating new aggregation? The capacity to e-enable globally leads to the aptitude to morph extensibly. Without well-planned infrastructures, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. We often orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will revalue our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to disintermediate intuitively. Without appropriate infomediaries, ultra-vertical, e-business iteration are forced to become open-source. We will inflate our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to grow. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without appropriate initiatives, portals are forced to become extensible, killer. Without networks, you will lack bleeding-edge, end-to-end performance. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Sample Company is the industry leader of extensible user interfaces. The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will multiply our capacity to generate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to exploit globally. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our power to expedite. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our extensible TQM but our aptitude to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be world-class? We will increase our power to morph without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The initiatives factor is co-branded. The aptitude to orchestrate vertically leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "leading-edge". Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The power to harness vertically leads to the aptitude to architect virally. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to deploy. What does the term "integrated bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our killer research and development but our capability to revolutionize. Without mega-infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 world-class, user-centric wireless, sexy cross-platform, impactful convergence, you will lack R&D. The angel investors factor is real-world, reconfigurable. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will synthesize the term "B2B2C". It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We will raise our capability to engineer without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. We usually enable long-term performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, granular, out-of-the-box, cross-platform, collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Think intra-co-branded. Think end-to-end. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to streamline.