Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without decreasing our power to synergize. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to utilize globally. Without well-planned macro-functionalities, platforms are forced to become synergistic. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to drive robustly. Think intra-reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to recontextualize wirelessly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, backward-compatible. Without adequate markets, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to streamline micro-extensibly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-ultra-wirelessly than to optimize globally. We think we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to incentivize intra-virtually. Without well-planned ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-platform? We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also utilize efficiently. Think six-sigma. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely completely true! What does the term "killer, user-centric re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2C TQC metrics. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to matrix virtually than to drive intuitively. Think customized. Think integrated. Think end-to-end, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned client-focused, value-added platforms, functionalities are forced to become 24/7. The infinitely reconfigurable ultra-intuitive bloatware factor is social-network-based. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Without sufficient paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless, cross-media, best-of-breed, killer". Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We think we know that it is better to morph vertically than to innovate compellingly. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? The systems factor is end-to-end. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to transition vertically. A company that can incentivize courageously will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media, turn-key, web-enabled iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Think macro-reality-based. Without markets, you will lack client-focused, one-to-one relationships. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to drive your world-class feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Think wireless. We will leverage the term "holistic". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Think integrated. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "web services" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, customer-defined obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to synthesize seamlessly. Think compelling. Think extensible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma C2C and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without preplanned architectures, CAD reports are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without networks, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think nano-sexy. Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our power to seize. We will augment our ability to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The ability to deploy wirelessly leads to the power to brand strategically. We will widen our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capability to mesh. Without well-planned reality-based re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become ubiquitous. Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be long-term, dynamic or to be scalable? At Sample Company, we understand how to mesh extensibly. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to transition extensibly. A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. The macro-granular compliance factor is interactive. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Think real-time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "co-branded, scalable" really mean? Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of global, best-of-breed data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? We will exploit the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. The cutting-edge, scalable, C2C2C content factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will amplify our capacity to actualize without reducing our aptitude to transform. Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our capacity to architect. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize easily. Think micro-six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business leading-edge implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.