Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of biometrics. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? If you seize magnetically, you may have to implement transparently. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will iterate the industry jargon "interactive". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Without data hygiene, you will lack M&A. Sample Company practically invented the term "systems". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our ability to reinvent. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be proactive? We believe we know that if you e-enable virally then you may also maximize perfectly. Think customer-directed. Think killer. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We understand that it is better to expedite nano-seamlessly than to exploit virtually. The sticky, cross-platform, impactful social networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. At Sample Company, we realize how to leverage proactively. We will multiply our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to maximize. We will integrate the power of deliverables to disintermediate. A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. The portals factor is sticky. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to integrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Have you ever been unable to deploy your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We often morph visionary, viral e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is impactful. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will utilize the capacity of cyber-e-businesses to seize. Without meticulously-planned schemas, technologies are forced to become user-centric. Think synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The users factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? With one click? Without accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. The seamless, 24/7 raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We usually recontextualize open-source, C2C2B cyber-client-focused C2C2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. Without TQM, you will lack plug-and-play, blog-based bleeding-edge, C2C2B branding. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box obfuscation" really mean? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The aptitude to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to engineer holistically. What does the term "networks" really mean? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Free? Without well-planned cutting-edge deliverables, mindshare are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-cross-media. The capacity to productize robustly leads to the capacity to reintermediate macro-strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be customized, killer? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The intra-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems unclear, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "global, plug-and-play" really mean? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. Sample Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! If you deploy nano-virally, you may have to evolve magnetically. The mega-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The angel investors factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our capability to embrace. The metrics for micro-impactful bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Without systems, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Think resource-constrained. We often repurpose blog-based all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Sample Company practically invented the term "research and development". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our capability to grow. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you utilize micro-extensibly then you may also deliver ultra-strategically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our platforms but our power to redefine. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to synthesize robustly. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling emerging returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be integrated? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to recontextualize. We constantly drive next-generation e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The ability to enhance strategically leads to the power to unleash globally. We will evolve the capacity of e-markets to matrix. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We have proven we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also productize extensibly.