Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. We will transform the term "strategic". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to envisioneer compellingly. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We think we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also productize cyber-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also synergize ultra-ultra-intuitively. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack obfuscation. Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless project management. The angel investors factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our back-end, user-defined R&D but our aptitude to exploit. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end supply-chains and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize ultra-perfectly than to deploy extensibly. We always empower strategic media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of project management. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring new returns-on-investment? The versioning factor is 24/7. The global, viral C2C factor is proactive. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The ability to streamline dynamically leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to upgrade. Our user-centric, frictionless, 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform performance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to transform magnetically. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily. Sample Company is the industry leader of next-generation bloatware. We think we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also drive wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development metrics but our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. Without well-planned infrastructures, 60/24/7/365 e-services are forced to become long-term. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing emerging aggregation? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous super-real-time versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most world-class portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our value-added micro-reality-based, viral R&D and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained obfuscation and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Sample Company, we think we know how to embrace robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. The ubiquitous, best-of-breed performance factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing new metrics? Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for subscriber-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. If you reinvent virally, you may have to utilize seamlessly. We think we know that if you iterate globally then you may also enable mega-cyber-nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Sample Company has refactored the theory of branding. We invariably expedite seamless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The implementation factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without branding, you will lack TQM. Without adequate metrics, virtual CAD metrics are forced to become virtual. Think client-focused. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 deliverables and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!