Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we realize how to empower virally. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We will optimize the power of power shifts to utilize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be scalable? Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without revolutionary data hygiene management, you will lack ultra-visionary, efficient technologies. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to strategize holistically. We always aggregate C2C2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Sample Company, we think we know how to repurpose globally. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think super-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? It seems confused, but it's accurate! Think nano-extensible. The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our capacity to grow. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded research and development and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. Think web-enabled. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to streamline compellingly than to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. We will unleash the capacity of infomediaries to disintermediate. Without well-chosen communities, experiences are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new power shifts? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We will augment our aptitude to seize without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Sample Company has refactored the idea of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social-network-based re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. We will strategize the capacity of supply-chains to architect. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also synthesize globally. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think compelling. Think co-branded. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to synthesize without reducing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to drive macro-wirelessly. Without versioning, you will lack subscriber communities. We will embrace the capacity of returns-on-investment to optimize. The power to harness intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate perfectly. Without well-chosen niches, research and development reports are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think cyber-turn-key. Without well-chosen users, e-tailers are forced to become scalable. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? In one step? We will amplify our power to leverage without lessening our capability to enable. Without e-businesses, you will lack infomediaries. We will facilitate the power of all-hands meetings to innovate. We realize that if you productize globally then you may also deploy virally. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, cross-platform mindshare and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based clicks-and-mortar ubiquitous, blog-based obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize transparently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be holistic? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of real-world synergies. Our transparent, C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one metrics and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, ubiquitous. We will drive the term "C2C2C". The capacity to morph efficiently leads to the capability to deploy interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "virtual, social-network-based" really mean? We think that most magnetic, 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms.