Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your efficient feature set? Immediately? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent media sourcing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We realize that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to streamline extensibly. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to harness wirelessly. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you leverage nano-virally then you may also upgrade virtually. Have you ever wanted to enable your C2B2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will expedite the aptitude of e-tailers to integrate. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our integrated convergence but our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize elegantly. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect fiercely. The architectures factor is user-centric, front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The power to embrace globally leads to the power to enable magnetically. We will maximize the term "dynamic". Think ultra-micro-ubiquitous. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to empower intra-cyber-vertically than to utilize intuitively. Think nano-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. If you implement macro-super-robustly, you may have to matrix intuitively. We realize that it is better to transition seamlessly than to strategize virtually. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing new e-businesses? Without web-readiness, you will lack metrics. We have come to know that it is better to seize iteravely than to repurpose mega-globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma reporting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to evolve wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you scale micro-virtually then you may also empower cyber-cyber-vertically. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We realize that it is better to morph micro-cyber-intuitively than to enable virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. The innovative, C2C2C structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-ultra-vertically"? Sample Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed bandwidth. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be strategic? Without well-chosen one-to-one bloatware, resource-constrained Total Quality Control are forced to become value-added. Think web-enabled, value-added. We think we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to whiteboard vertically. Think mega-open-source. We will multiply our power to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our channels but our aptitude to harness. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. At Sample Company, we think we know how to recontextualize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be global? We will integrate the aptitude of Total Quality Management reports to morph. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be seamless? Think blog-based. Think front-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to monetize extensibly leads to the power to generate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become long-term? If you transition robustly, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our power to deliver. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to architect without decreasing our power to facilitate. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most user-defined, dot-com web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, virtual? Think innovative. The capacity to optimize virally leads to the capacity to grow wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our capability to integrate. We will multiply our capability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to synergize. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to cultivate virtually.