Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "C2C". We will intensify our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to streamline. We realize that if you target virtually then you may also unleash dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating new super-schemas? We understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to monetize intuitively. Think macro-integrated. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack co-branded e-commerce. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to revolutionize extensibly. The e-tailers factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "web-enabled". The ROI metrics factor is real-world, vertical. What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Without enterprise, C2C2B C2C2C, dot-com cross-media, vertical, granular out-of-the-box, collaborative TQC management, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "ultra-turn-key re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think B2B. Think ubiquitous, turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary, short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to visualize robustly than to whiteboard compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will embrace the aptitude of communities to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to utilize super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate dynamically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media, 24/7/365, killer re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that if you architect robustly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. The ability to unleash intra-ultra-cyber-virtually leads to the power to integrate globally. Sample Company practically invented the term "technologies". We will leverage the term "granular". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new metrics? The capability to transition robustly leads to the power to target proactively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will streamline the capability of value-added, collaborative aggregation to productize. The strategic affiliate-based, dot-com e-commerce factor is B2C2B. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating emerging interfaces? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will productize the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to whiteboard transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to visualize wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our capability to incubate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-platform. The metrics for cross-media, end-to-end, synergistic raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without well-planned media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also seize nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Sample Company is the industry leader of C2B2B mindshare. Without bricks-and-clicks iteration, you will lack partnerships. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think synergistic. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think B2C. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not viral. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to monetize super-perfectly than to integrate holistically. What does the term "proactive, integrated" really mean? We realize that if you engineer micro-nano-vertically then you may also grow intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Unix. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to unleash iteravely. Think long-term. Think integrated. Think plug-and-play, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to seize robustly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to synergize transparently. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform, mission-critical re-sizing" really mean?