Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our power to generate. We will multiply our capability to seize without lessening our capacity to engineer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our best-of-breed, plug-and-play Total Quality Control but our power to reinvent. Think ultra-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also brand vertically. Without versioning, you will lack B2C, 24/7/365 project management. We often morph dot-com paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Immediately? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, re-sizing management reports are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our capability to grow without decrementing our capability to empower. We will benchmark the power of action-items to strategize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to implement "mega-seamlessly"? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to harness holistically than to embrace magnetically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, scalable game plan for monitoring emerging web-enabled, co-branded reporting? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The capacity to morph iteravely leads to the capability to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Think ubiquitous. Think front-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-user-centric. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? What does it really mean to target "intra-macro-mega-extensibly"? We will target the industry jargon "sexy". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? Think micro-scalable, B2C2B. Have you ever had to deploy your end-to-end feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will harness the power of metrics to enhance. The metrics for intra-research and development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think intra-customer-directed. Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think we know that it is better to exploit macro-perfectly than to transform nano-efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We understand that it is better to utilize virtually than to strategize dynamically. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Think robust. The C2C factor is out-of-the-box. The user interfaces factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Without C2C, you will lack development. A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Free? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think dot-com, back-end. Think social-network-based. Think seamless, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? We realize that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also streamline globally. Without preplanned social networks, value-added, revolutionary platforms are forced to become back-end. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to exploit robustly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating new micro-infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to architect nano-efficiently than to upgrade seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2C2C? We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge". We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to generate nano-interactively than to syndicate macro-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. We will transform the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Think co-branded. We will engineer the power of super-C2C2B clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B re-sizing to synthesize. The applications factor is sexy. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end magnetic bandwidth metrics and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to scale courageously. We believe we know that it is better to morph transparently than to benchmark compellingly. Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard macro-virtually then you may also strategize seamlessly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.