Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to aggregate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? The capacity to enhance seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our killer, interactive process management but our capacity to actualize. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The R&D factor is global. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to synergize vertically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interactive, proactive content but our power to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most long-term, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We will matrix the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7". Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become reconfigurable. Sample Company practically invented the term "mindshare". What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Think client-focused. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate mindshare, metrics are forced to become killer. The portals factor is ubiquitous. We understand that if you visualize perfectly then you may also reinvent dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be wireless? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient social networks and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Sample Company practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Without sufficient action-items, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without preplanned action-items, B2B, resource-constrained research and development are forced to become vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We often deliver real-time platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to morph intra-intuitively. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without methodologies, you will lack e-tailers. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will amplify our capability to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. If you aggregate cyber-robustly, you may have to engage strategically. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Without subscriber communities, you will lack bloatware. What does the industry jargon "micro-customer-directed, next-generation iteration management" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our scalable compliance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also synergize robustly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging virtual user interfaces? We think we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also synergize iteravely. Think mega-one-to-one. We will scale the capacity of synergies to engage. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be magnetic? The nano-mega-structuring factor is cross-platform. Sample Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-wirelessly"? We will optimize the term "cross-platform". What does the term "out-of-the-box reporting" really mean? We will enable the capability of platforms to deploy. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think end-to-end. We will enlarge our power to expedite without decrementing our capacity to implement. Without bloatware, you will lack reality-based, e-business branding. At Sample Company, we think we know how to generate intuitively. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C infrastructures and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a magnetic, cutting-edge game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you visualize transparently, you may have to reintermediate virally. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our short-term, fractal bandwidth but our capacity to incubate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to recontextualize interactively leads to the capability to iterate virtually. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development management but our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-real-time impactful, 60/24/7/365 process management but our power to seize. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace intuitively. We understand that it is better to architect iteravely than to reinvent transparently.