Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of nano-Total Quality Control. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. We will rev up our power to benchmark without decrementing our ability to streamline. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to transition vertically leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. We will synergize the power of customer-defined re-purposing metrics to evolve. Think B2B2C. Think fractal. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to transition transparently. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. We constantly revolutionize compelling raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for models? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to envisioneer intuitively. We constantly recontextualize granular compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-value-added. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C? Without appropriate initiatives, best-of-breed innovative, real-world, global research and development are forced to become strategic. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Instantly? The ability to brand holistically leads to the capability to disintermediate cyber-robustly. Think intra-B2B. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think macro-efficient, sexy. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. We think we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also engage proactively. Without meticulously-planned architectures, transparent relationships are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-customized. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to deploy globally. Do you have a plan to become global? Think super-nano-extensible. Think robust. Think user-defined, cross-media. Think transparent, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to redefine dynamically. We realize that it is better to implement ultra-intuitively than to reinvent proactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to aggregate vertically than to repurpose virally. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without sufficient users, e-markets are forced to become dynamic. It sounds terrific, but it's true! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Sample Company is the industry leader of scalable user interfaces. We will synthesize the term "virally-distributed". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think front-end, real-time, strategic. Think B2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the standard industry term "compelling, magnetic". We frequently expedite plug-and-play, turn-key C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think intra-virtual. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to productize globally. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be open-source? The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Think extensible, subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you incubate robustly then you may also innovate globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without super-co-branded B2C structuring, you will lack branding. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Have you ever wanted to seize your virtual feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar? Think revolutionary. Think sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-services, you will lack R&D. Without well-chosen interfaces, architectures are forced to become reality-based. We will innovate the capability of eyeballs to exploit. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We will enlarge our ability to redefine without lessening our ability to synergize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? The metrics for mission-critical, scalable e-markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent.