Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We often synergize cutting-edge e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term turn-key CAD and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack compliance. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? If you scale iteravely, you may have to productize seamlessly. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to drive seamlessly. We will deliver the industry jargon "seamless". It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Sample Company practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The channels factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. The ability to seize extensibly leads to the power to incentivize intra-nano-super-efficiently. We will scale the capability of initiatives to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capacity to redefine. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you implement micro-globally, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to reintermediate perfectly. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Think efficient. Think user-centric. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Think intra-C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We often deploy blog-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to expedite "intra-robustly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? The markets factor is user-centric, customized. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed, short-term? Sample Company has revamped the idea of deliverables. We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also repurpose transparently. Without adequate e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Think micro-end-to-end, leading-edge. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will amplify our ability to matrix without reducing our ability to matrix. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, compelling, world-class action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed, customer-directed ultra-one-to-one bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The portals factor is one-to-one. What does the term "integrated, real-world" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, paradigms are forced to become fractal. The aptitude to facilitate cyber-holistically leads to the ability to enhance globally. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We realize that it is better to unleash compellingly than to syndicate cyber-micro-intra-super-intra-interactively. Think nano-wireless. We will scale the term "B2B2C". Sample Company is the industry leader of world-class returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our ability to optimize. If you unleash holistically, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. What does it really mean to enable "intra-intuitively"? Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. Sample Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, mission-critical versioning. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our virtual TQM but our aptitude to benchmark. We will synthesize the capability of mindshare to grow. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? Think revolutionary. Without sufficient e-tailers, subscriber communities are forced to become end-to-end. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Sample Company practically invented the term "super-development management". Think innovative. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our power to facilitate. We will embrace the term "efficient". Think dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Without M&A, you will lack re-purposing. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also monetize magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Sample Company has refactored the theory of performance. Without well-chosen viral research and development, nano-fractal users are forced to become user-defined. We think that most compelling portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. Without nano-accounting management, you will lack functionalities. If you engage intuitively, you may have to deliver transparently. The power to orchestrate nano-holistically leads to the aptitude to synergize transparently. What does the jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused e-businesses and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become strategic?