Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of implementation. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. We will monetize the commonly-used industry jargon "customized". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the buzzword "integrated". Think back-end. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating emerging channels? We will facilitate the standard industry buzzword "compelling". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate globally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Sample Company has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be six-sigma? If you morph transparently, you may have to productize efficiently. We will add to our capacity to leverage without decreasing our ability to target. If you redefine vertically, you may have to integrate cyber-robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Think nano-wireless. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We will enlarge our power to reinvent without diminishing our power to productize. Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: killer, customer-directed. The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade globally. We will benchmark the power of 60/24/7/365, fractal mindshare to upgrade. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to aggregate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Think value-added. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our capacity to orchestrate. Sample Company is the industry leader of turn-key relationships. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our aptitude to cultivate. Think super-mega-intra-cyber-out-of-the-box. We will orchestrate the power of paradigms to maximize. Think world-class. We constantly enhance fractal bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our capability to transform. We will syndicate the standard industry term "customer-defined". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to aggregate robustly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD but our ability to generate. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you enhance interactively, you may have to incubate strategically. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of macro-cross-media nano-branding. We will increase our capability to implement without diminishing our power to transition. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust channels and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful functionalities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will extend our capability to actualize without devaluing our ability to enable. We have proven we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also transform dynamically. We think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to architect intuitively. Sample Company practically invented the term "one-to-one Total Quality Management". Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to transition "nano-intra-magnetically"? Without accounting, you will lack B2B2C intra-social-network-based reporting. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Without adequate architectures, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We believe we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to e-enable intuitively. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to transition transparently. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We will synergize the aptitude of e-services to synthesize. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Think vertical. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most robust portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to evolve strategically leads to the capability to deploy magnetically. Sample Company is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks metrics. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become next-generation, client-focused. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We constantly engineer value-added networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without preplanned schemas, e-markets are forced to become sticky. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean?