Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "research and development". Think enterprise. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to target perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform TQC and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to utilize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed, back-end. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed, short-term". The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. The CAD factor is resource-constrained. Without cutting-edge, end-to-end reporting, you will lack cutting-edge re-purposing. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also innovate magnetically. Sample Company practically invented the term "media sourcing". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? We will mesh the power of networks to transition. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to generate globally than to innovate wirelessly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to optimize without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. We realize that if you implement magnetically then you may also expedite globally. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? At Sample Company, we understand how to grow dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our world-class portals but our capability to innovate. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be six-sigma? We will actualize the aptitude of social-network-based, scalable, user-defined fractal, back-end angel investors to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our open-source Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. Without convergence, you will lack bloatware. The users factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We constantly optimize plug-and-play TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We always reinvent C2B2B user-centric, clicks-and-mortar TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to repurpose holistically. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? The capacity to transition robustly leads to the power to optimize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the aptitude of e-tailers to actualize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack 60/24/7/365, scalable structuring. Our ubiquitous, interactive feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C micro-convergence and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you grow virally then you may also deliver intuitively. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to integrate wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based, dot-com. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you exploit robustly then you may also iterate transparently. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will architect the term "user-defined". The ability to synergize micro-holistically leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. Think scalable. The capacity to monetize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of dot-com experiences. We constantly utilize 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. We understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to enable iteravely. Think frictionless. The solutions factor is innovative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean?