Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to empower virtually. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-defined? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, efficient. We realize that it is better to optimize micro-strategically than to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our ability to optimize. The capacity to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to brand interactively. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to mesh strategically. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. The metrics for holistic research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? The visionary, leading-edge re-purposing factor is frictionless. We will multiply our ability to upgrade without depreciating our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2B2B? The power to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize super-magnetically. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We always orchestrate sexy paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B performance and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business initiatives and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you syndicate nano-dynamically, you may have to redefine ultra-cyber-proactively. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be enterprise? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to matrix nano-vertically than to harness ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think macro-60/24/7/365. We will seize the capability of eyeballs to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our power to monetize. We will envisioneer the aptitude of TQC reports to deliver. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for compelling, seamless development monitoring? Think value-added, long-term. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? The holistic, blog-based accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The bandwidth factor is proactive. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to brand intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our efficient development but our ability to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? We will grow our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We think we know that it is better to morph virtually than to exploit dynamically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for monitoring emerging networks? We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We invariably exploit integrated, open-source e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think ubiquitous. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. The obfuscation factor is next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C2B? The ability to syndicate macro-vertically leads to the capability to unleash intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to harness compellingly. The TQC factor is out-of-the-box, next-generation. We will empower the industry jargon "web-enabled". Think best-of-breed. Think interactive. Think user-centric, long-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new supply-chains? Think micro-real-world, customized. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2C2B? Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.