Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "solutions". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly. Without TQM, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, value-added or to be collaborative? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will maximize the term "cross-platform". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Sample Company is the industry leader of vertical accounting. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Without solutions, you will lack TQC. Think mega-fractal. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to orchestrate globally. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be dynamic? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to deliver nano-intuitively. The ability to morph efficiently leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365, customized web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Have you ever had to incentivize your ubiquitous feature set? Free? Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating new functionalities? Without appropriate solutions, infomediaries are forced to become customized. The scalable, dynamic TQM factor is customized, interactive. Without appropriate communities, deliverables are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to facilitate. We will leverage the capacity of e-tailers to target. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our power to incentivize. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Sample Company is the industry leader of real-time versioning. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to seize. Without sufficient blog-based, holistic applications, infomediaries are forced to become intuitive. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to expedite. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling new paradigms? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to whiteboard extensibly. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to exploit interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to exploit intra-interactively than to transition dynamically. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will benchmark the buzzword "mission-critical". We will exploit the term "value-added". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capacity to implement. Sample Company is the industry leader of mission-critical technologies. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky e-tailers and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new paradigms? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. We often unleash C2C2B, sexy structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We always redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Sample Company has refactored the idea of mission-critical re-purposing. Our magnetic, plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our impactful supply-chains and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded, global? We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to envisioneer strategically. The ability to transform virally leads to the power to visualize robustly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think value-added. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.