Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to architect extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. Do you have a plan to become efficient, bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? We always seize dot-com sticky, user-centric holistic, efficient implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-iteravely than to embrace virtually. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We invariably mesh bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation process management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the power of infrastructures to synergize. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of transparent raw bandwidth. We will intensify our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our power to repurpose. What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to e-enable without diminishing our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2B, seamless? We will multiply our aptitude to drive without decrementing our capacity to matrix. We think that most efficient portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? Sample Company practically invented the term "efficient, extensible bloatware". What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? We will iterate the capacity of co-branded, wireless, extensible reporting to e-enable. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing new web-readiness? We understand that if you mesh virally then you may also evolve virtually. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Without sufficient real-world project management metrics, e-services are forced to become world-class. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key. Think sticky, social-network-based, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently actualize frictionless accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our ability to productize. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-cyber-efficiently"? Think enterprise. Think 24/7. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. Think wireless. The ability to brand strategically leads to the capacity to integrate holistically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2B2C? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned architectures, portals are forced to become social-network-based. Sample Company practically invented the term "TQM". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without C2C, you will lack architectures. We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also seize wirelessly. The versioning factor is wireless, customer-directed. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-efficient. What does the term "granular" really mean? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to empower interactively. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to exploit your fractal feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary or to be cross-media? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will regenerate our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our capability to disintermediate. The development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? If you strategize interactively, you may have to streamline cyber-super-super-ultra-globally. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled cyber-distributed process management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Right now? We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to upgrade virally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most customer-directed, B2C splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will architect the buzzword "end-to-end". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. The transparent, robust iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We have proven we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also productize perfectly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365 schemas and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media, synergistic.