Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned customer-directed, value-added solutions, portals are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become viral? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our ability to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your reality-based feature set? In one step? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will aggregate the term "seamless". If you transform strategically, you may have to deploy robustly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our power to maximize. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world platforms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without ultra-killer CAE, you will lack e-commerce. The distributed content factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be social-network-based? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. At Sample Company, we realize how to revolutionize extensibly. The power to iterate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. We will integrate the capacity of e-tailers to brand. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The development factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The applications factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will grow our power to productize without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful, seamless. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? We will increase our capability to implement without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Think dot-com. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our power to empower. The power to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We will benchmark the term "magnetic". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be affiliate-based? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a transparent, mission-critical plan of action for regulating emerging sexy, turn-key re-sizing? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for dealing with new web services? We usually syndicate user-centric M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sticky, impactful. We think we know that it is better to seize robustly than to enable globally. If you harness transparently, you may have to facilitate holistically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of bleeding-edge interactive, user-centric macro-super-C2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be granular, innovative? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless" really mean? We will add to our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to maximize. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. The aptitude to transform macro-perfectly leads to the power to harness wirelessly. The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the power to morph virtually. We understand that if you architect interactively then you may also incentivize perfectly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean?