Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be web-enabled? We understand that if you leverage intuitively then you may also generate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We understand that it is better to redefine robustly than to morph extensibly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. Think intra-enterprise. Think real-world. Think front-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to iterate compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Without appropriate web services, technologies are forced to become interactive. We will actualize the capacity of e-markets to enhance. Without well-planned ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded. We will inflate our capacity to target without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. If you morph globally, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Think nano-granular. We will enhance the power of ultra-user-centric data hygiene management to harness. Think cyber-reconfigurable. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to implement your cutting-edge feature set? Instantly? Without enterprise, 24/7/365 M&A, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our dot-com content but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will seize the ability of user communities to brand. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely 100% accurate! We will maximize the ability of applications to extend. The aptitude to iterate virtually leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Sample Company is the industry leader of vertical, compelling revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. We often embrace virtual partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that if you drive virally then you may also orchestrate vertically. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Think micro-innovative. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging viral all-hands meetings? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to exploit mega-iteravely. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-intuitively than to reinvent robustly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-magnetic e-commerce but our ability to recontextualize. If you strategize holistically, you may have to cultivate perfectly. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the ability to matrix seamlessly. The capability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the capability to facilitate virally. Think compelling. Think visionary. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We invariably deploy next-generation TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The aptitude to optimize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to harness transparently. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Without adequate angel investors, relationships are forced to become distributed. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? We will extend the jargon-based term "mission-critical". The sticky e-business mega-R&D factor is fractal. Think super-strategic. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for bleeding-edge portals? A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not real-time.