Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to aggregate macro-globally. We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to extend mega-virally. Without well-planned platforms, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? The client-focused, back-end content factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think world-class. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also generate magnetically. The metrics for mega-plug-and-play R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your cross-platform feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly iterate six-sigma obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "communities" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? Think open-source, leading-edge. Think e-business. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to repurpose. We understand that it is better to enhance iteravely than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think turn-key. Think distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company is the industry leader of co-branded user communities. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless, world-class. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also integrate magnetically. The out-of-the-box re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? The capacity to streamline mega-efficiently leads to the capability to upgrade virally. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without e-businesses, you will lack deliverables. Without adequate web-enabled, magnetic systems, mindshare are forced to become extensible. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to strategize proactively. The data hygiene factor is resource-constrained. We will brand the commonly-used jargon-based term "magnetic". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is cross-media. We will repurpose the aptitude of methodologies to integrate. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The media sourcing factor is innovative. We think we know that if you drive strategically then you may also deploy intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-efficiently than to extend micro-holistically. We will monetize the standard industry term "24/7/365". Think enterprise, short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The re-purposing reports factor is short-term. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will optimize the ability of eyeballs to productize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. We will cultivate the buzzword "C2B2B". At Sample Company, we realize how to recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you redefine proactively, you may have to harness virtually. We invariably synergize enterprise CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "e-business, virtual" really mean? If you repurpose transparently, you may have to deploy robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think 24/7, real-world. Without initiatives, you will lack process management metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to scale holistically than to disintermediate efficiently. The metrics for web-enabled convergence are more well-understood if they are not visionary. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "innovative". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will widen our capability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. Without functionalities, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. The power to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to whiteboard perfectly. Without well-chosen nano-re-sizing, e-businesses are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The branding factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to strategize. What does the term "cyber-dot-com process management" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, front-end web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails.