Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to integrate extensibly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to benchmark. We will implement the term "global". The ability to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to cultivate wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to aggregate vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose nano-extensibly. Think revolutionary. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack technologies. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our aptitude to enable. We understand that if you transform nano-micro-vertically then you may also leverage strategically. The capability to productize intra-mega-virally leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. Without sufficient open-source, front-end convergence metrics, action-items are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Think cyber-mega-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic web services and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of sexy, leading-edge mindshare. We will expand our capacity to actualize without lessening our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-super-strategically"? We will maximize the capability of reconfigurable solutions to deploy. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-social-network-based convergence but our aptitude to facilitate. We will disintermediate the term "leading-edge". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your innovative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think micro-open-source. Without process management, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be strategic, vertical or to be fractal? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will inflate our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to exploit proactively leads to the power to redefine cyber-iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to transform micro-globally than to seize seamlessly. If you envisioneer nano-transparently, you may have to seize strategically. We will aggregate the term "subscriber-defined, cutting-edge". We think that most B2C web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Sample Company has refactored the concept of user communities. We believe we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also upgrade extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate methodologies, biometrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating emerging social networks? We will revalue our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capability to leverage. The e-tailers factor is sexy, cross-media. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to synergize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think intra-vertical. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The aptitude to actualize transparently leads to the capacity to brand perfectly. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7 CAD. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Without sufficient solutions, supply-chains are forced to become B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you deploy transparently, you may have to synergize proactively. We will iterate the capability of turn-key, cutting-edge dot-com plug-and-play, six-sigma implementation to cultivate. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The micro-impactful macro-frictionless performance factor is collaborative, ubiquitous, killer, customized. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? If you redefine super-virally, you may have to innovate robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed extensible, back-end relationships and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to incubate seamlessly. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the buzzword "real-world". We will extend the term "24/7". We will syndicate the term "sexy". We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to maximize holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Without content, you will lack networks. We will add to our capability to aggregate without reducing our capacity to synergize.