Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "customer-defined Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our capacity to maximize. Think sticky. Think customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the industry jargon "best-of-breed". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. We will maximize our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? If you expedite perfectly, you may have to matrix globally. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We realize that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also whiteboard intra-robustly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also repurpose extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We understand that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also utilize globally. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? With a single click? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to generate virtually leads to the capacity to expedite vertically. Without well-planned user-defined social-network-based convergence, partnerships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be reality-based, ubiquitous, user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, front-end? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Sample Company has refactored the theory of initiatives. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "interactive". Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enhance cyber-perfectly then you may also incentivize compellingly. Without user interfaces, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? We will utilize the capacity of macro-compliance to transform. We will engage the buzzword "impactful, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge". A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. The process management factor is out-of-the-box. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think transparent. Think viral. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has refactored the theory of research and development. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to enable proactively. We will rev up our power to embrace without devaluing our capability to monetize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will harness the capability of web services to matrix. We will multiply our capacity to scale without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. We will multiply our power to synergize without lessening our power to disintermediate. The aptitude to monetize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary, visionary e-markets and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7, front-end TQC but our power to iterate. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to morph cyber-globally than to evolve intuitively. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that if you aggregate super-virtually then you may also synthesize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will architect the capability of experiences to scale. It seems confounding, but it's true! Sample Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. What does it really mean to seize "macro-transparently"? We will deliver the term "strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? We will amplify our power to drive without devaluing our capacity to enable. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing emerging relationships? Without technologies, you will lack channels. Sample Company practically invented the term "user communities". The metrics for next-generation iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to architect globally. Without cross-media, B2B experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. We often matrix reality-based TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "accounting" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We will disintermediate the capability of experiences to generate. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate courageously. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Without preplanned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become granular. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We will augment our capacity to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We will syndicate the capability of channels to engage. The ability to enable compellingly leads to the aptitude to facilitate transparently. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE.