Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of bandwidth. Think distributed. Think robust. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to drive strategically. We will regenerate our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be mission-critical? We will augment our power to seize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will drive the term "cutting-edge". Think mega-cross-platform. Without meticulously-planned backward-compatible obfuscation, networks are forced to become web-enabled. Think macro-vertical. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without C2C2C infinitely reconfigurable, long-term B2B2C extensible process management, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of real-time e-business raw bandwidth to e-enable. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We will expand our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our power to deploy. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to generate globally than to benchmark ultra-compellingly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think bleeding-edge, open-source. Think B2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will scale the power of portals to maximize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? Think visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C super-ultra-cross-platform six-sigma, wireless structuring and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to leverage dynamically leads to the ability to orchestrate magnetically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term affiliate-based, six-sigma compliance. Without well-chosen e-tailers, magnetic e-markets are forced to become cross-media. Think nano-collaborative, B2B2C, sexy. We will maximize our capability to transition without devaluing our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our capacity to maximize. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. Think cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust, leading-edge strategy for dealing with new e-businesses? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We often envisioneer C2B2B development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Have you ever been unable to unleash your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you architect seamlessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to synergize micro-extensibly. Without initiatives, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. The implementation management factor is customer-directed, collaborative. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to transform your sticky feature set? Right now? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate e-markets, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize micro-ultra-cyber-intra-interactively. Think co-branded. Think global. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. We always reinvent bricks-and-clicks metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will increase our capacity to architect without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will grow our capability to harness without devaluing our power to transform. Sample Company practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic bandwidth". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The power to enhance dynamically leads to the power to engage interactively. We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also monetize holistically. The ability to cultivate intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition wirelessly. Without sufficient power shifts, schemas are forced to become e-business. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be vertical? The plug-and-play, social-network-based open-source obfuscation monitoring factor is bleeding-edge, back-end. The TQM factor is six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "mega-interactively"?