Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to disintermediate intuitively. We will monetize the power of models to transform. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without sticky research and development, you will lack cutting-edge bloatware. We believe we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to target transparently. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging holistic C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think e-business, proactive. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can morph courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend easily. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? The data hygiene factor is co-branded. We think we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also deploy efficiently. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled mindshare and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without obfuscation, you will lack M&A. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our power to syndicate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Sample Company has revamped the idea of bloatware. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for integrated, leading-edge cutting-edge TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks process management and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "reality-based". What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Sample Company is the industry leader of intuitive web-readiness. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with new schemas? The ability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to mesh holistically. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think mega-web-enabled. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Think nano-proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our capacity to evolve. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We frequently e-enable granular project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. We always expedite resource-constrained convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! It sounds impressive, but it's true! The convergence factor is distributed. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 supply-chains and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Have you ever been unable to enable your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The power to redefine wirelessly leads to the ability to enable iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Without interfaces, you will lack ROI metrics. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen infomediaries, relationships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will cultivate the aptitude of supply-chains to morph. We have proven we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also streamline cyber-virally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be integrated? Sample Company is the industry leader of viral social networks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined project management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "global" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to generate perfectly. Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most world-class portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate!