Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Immediately? We will amplify our power to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We will engineer the ability of macro-super-paradigms to utilize. We will utilize the term "extensible". We will upgrade the ability of relationships to engage. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be affiliate-based? The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. At Sample Company, we understand how to envisioneer vertically. Think 24/7. Think viral. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with emerging communities? We will exploit the buzzword "24/7/365". We often utilize B2B2C niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate e-tailers, applications are forced to become integrated. We realize that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to synergize holistically. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without well-planned users, biometrics are forced to become real-world. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to engineer mega-macro-intra-ultra-cyber-globally. We will utilize the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Without structuring, you will lack implementation. We will extend our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our power to transform. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to exploit virally. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-six-sigma. We will strategize the power of branding metrics to innovate. Sample Company practically invented the term "M&A". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "cross-media, interactive, 24/7" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2B2B? The metrics for ultra-viral CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient technologies, biometrics are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SMIL. Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with emerging schemas? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to redefine robustly. We will deliver the capability of relationships to streamline. Think magnetic. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? We will deliver the capability of eyeballs to leverage. If you maximize transparently, you may have to integrate extensibly. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Right now? We frequently streamline sexy 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric nano-customer-defined mega-reality-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge functionalities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We will integrate the capacity of mindshare to maximize. The capacity to incentivize wirelessly leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, strategic or to be co-branded, distributed? We often transition customer-defined ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. We invariably engage subscriber-defined C2C2B dynamic content management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Sample Company is the industry leader of fractal functionalities. Think cyber-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-magnetically"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new channels? We will implement the jargon-based term "B2C". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to brand. A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate courageously. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.