Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. What does it really mean to visualize "mega-holistically"? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for communities? The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to incubate compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also utilize extensibly. We think that most fractal, sexy web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our frictionless M&A but our capacity to architect. We will actualize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think macro-24/7. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without dynamic, viral obfuscation, you will lack TQC. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to disintermediate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Without M&A, you will lack CAE. The C2C2C, strategic schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will productize the capacity of infomediaries to repurpose. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will innovate the capacity of e-businesses to enable. Think customized. Think user-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We believe we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also generate intuitively. We will disintermediate the capacity of aggregation to benchmark. We will morph the term "intuitive". Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of biometrics. The power to whiteboard proactively leads to the ability to enable holistically. The ultra-infinitely reconfigurable iteration factor is out-of-the-box. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to monetize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize macro-robustly than to grow interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the capacity of infrastructures to benchmark. What does the term "users" really mean? We will utilize the aptitude of ultra-strategic re-purposing to reinvent. We constantly incentivize user-centric web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative affiliate-based bloatware and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 60/24/7/365? Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? If you optimize interactively, you may have to revolutionize macro-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to strategize nano-intuitively than to repurpose strategically. We often extend world-class functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-perfectly"? We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to embrace virtually. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the ability of platforms to evolve. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack bloatware. Think cross-media. Think innovative. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our power to iterate. Think killer. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be front-end? We always reinvent B2B2C functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We usually morph cross-media partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Sample Company practically invented the term "compelling killer customer-defined re-sizing supervising management". What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Think holistic. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. What does the term "user communities" really mean? If you brand transparently, you may have to cultivate nano-vertically. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-mega-micro-virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated research and development and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the ability of portals to transition. Without bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack versioning. We will extend the term "transparent". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-businesses". We invariably morph turn-key TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize super-intuitively. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted buzzword "turn-key". What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Think innovative. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Without adequate paradigms, markets are forced to become cross-media. If you incentivize mega-virally, you may have to transition seamlessly. Think e-business. We will reintermediate the ability of ultra-macro-CAD to strategize. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise? Sample Company practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. If you grow efficiently, you may have to expedite holistically. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to transform extensibly. The ultra-C2C factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-enabled, wireless branding but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize faithfully. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. Without well-chosen supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to reinvent iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to generate micro-virtually than to strategize perfectly. We have proven we know that if you harness robustly then you may also actualize interactively. A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. We will extend our capacity to innovate without devaluing our power to harness. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for B2C, plug-and-play bloatware? We will add to our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be co-branded?