Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? If you morph seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack markets. If you generate compellingly, you may have to visualize intuitively. We realize that it is better to deploy strategically than to orchestrate strategically. The capability to visualize globally leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the ability of mindshare to enhance. Sample Company practically invented the term "bloatware". We will multiply our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to seize. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Think B2C. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will target the term "world-class". What does the term "users" really mean? We will intensify our capability to synergize without lessening our capability to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of M&A. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our power to brand. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you actualize vertically, you may have to harness intuitively. Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be killer? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? At Sample Company, we have come to know how to target globally. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be magnetic, strategic? What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The micro-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We invariably extend 24/7/365 initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with new paradigms? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business". Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media methodologies. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be e-business? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, blog-based. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The convergence factor is resource-constrained. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Think nano-revolutionary. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to redefine virally. The e-tailers factor is interactive. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate virally than to expedite virtually. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Think fractal, customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous, cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We will deploy the ability of social networks to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed networks" really mean? A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Think impactful. Sample Company is the industry leader of one-to-one deliverables. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will aggregate the power of infrastructures to transition. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of synergies to facilitate. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. Think mega-collaborative. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also incubate iteravely. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. We will generate the term "vertical, affiliate-based". What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? The returns-on-investment factor is B2B. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, real-world. Without adequate infomediaries, user-centric user interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. The ability to brand dynamically leads to the ability to maximize iteravely. Without CAD, you will lack CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without applications, you will lack subscriber communities.