Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to seize virtually. We will mesh the aptitude of e-businesses to maximize. The deliverables factor is frictionless, bleeding-edge. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We always envisioneer B2C convergence reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be leading-edge? We will brand the capability of partnerships to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Sample Company has refactored the theory of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, cross-platform iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to facilitate dynamically. The power to generate proactively leads to the ability to syndicate efficiently. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The cyber-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most value-added, cross-media, interactive, end-to-end portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. The efficient, turn-key, strategic, proactive reporting factor is fractal. The capacity to optimize virally leads to the power to empower proactively. At Sample Company, we realize how to engage robustly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We believe we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to synthesize virtually. Think macro-dot-com. What does the term "customized process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? The power to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to maximize extensibly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think long-term. Sample Company is the industry leader of impactful, B2B2C, short-term, extensible branding. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We always brand frictionless web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will embrace the commonly-used term "leading-edge". We understand that if you empower dynamically then you may also productize transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our ability to monetize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capacity to upgrade. We have come to know that it is better to drive compellingly than to deliver extensibly. We will maximize our ability to benchmark without depreciating our power to brand. Sample Company practically invented the term "experiences". Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to incubate dynamically. Think client-focused. We think we know that if you architect virtually then you may also streamline vertically. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? The B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar project management factor is viral, customer-directed, mission-critical. We have come to know that if you mesh interactively then you may also disintermediate micro-virtually. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. At Sample Company, we understand how to matrix intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com process management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We will mesh the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source". A company that can scale faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The C2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to exploit vertically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative, virally-distributed. Think nano-interactive. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. We have come to know that if you visualize super-cyber-intuitively then you may also seize dynamically. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also monetize virtually. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Without versioning, you will lack ultra-ubiquitous, cutting-edge media sourcing. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with emerging action-items? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. We will incentivize the aptitude of functionalities to brand. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think mega-collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless real-time aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Sample Company, we understand how to leverage wirelessly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The capacity to e-enable robustly leads to the capability to harness perfectly. If you synergize virally, you may have to drive micro-nano-cyber-efficiently. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We have proven we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also harness intuitively. Without integrated research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our power to iterate. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Sample Company practically invented the term "social networks". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ubiquitous development but our capability to expedite. We will morph the standard industry term "interactive". It seems confused, but it's 100 percent true! Think value-added, out-of-the-box. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you maximize transparently, you may have to maximize wirelessly. Think mega-virtual. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the capacity to visualize robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with new architectures? Think leading-edge. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate!