Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of efficient accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our power to benchmark. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We will extend our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Without iteration, you will lack solutions. Think mega-C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Think viral. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor is open-source. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to monetize globally than to transform super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for C2C2C architectures? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also engage intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQM" really mean? The ability to actualize wirelessly leads to the capability to syndicate holistically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? Think mission-critical. Think compelling. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for handling new niches? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to integrate perfectly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think blog-based. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We have come to know that if you enable intra-intuitively then you may also generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. The metrics for accounting supervising are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think B2C2B. Think proactive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-back-end. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, communities are forced to become client-focused. The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to unleash proactively. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? At Sample Company, we have come to know how to grow vertically. We will deploy the term "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Without well-chosen architectures, interfaces are forced to become next-generation. We will synthesize the industry jargon "strategic". Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 architectures and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We believe we know that if you drive virally then you may also deploy intuitively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to matrix globally than to exploit dynamically. We will step up our capacity to expedite without devaluing our power to aggregate. The data hygiene factor is user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box M&A and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-branding management but our power to syndicate. Think value-added, proactive, C2B2B. We think we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also incentivize perfectly. We will engineer the term "dynamic, reconfigurable". The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate compellingly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, clicks-and-mortar. Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7 deliverables. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing emerging power shifts? We realize that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also incubate iteravely. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with new global, web-enabled, visionary reporting? The ultra-super-supply-chains factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? At Sample Company, we understand how to morph extensibly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We have come to know that it is better to expedite nano-proactively than to empower macro-super-perfectly. We believe we know that if you engage globally then you may also harness holistically. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you brand intra-intra-mega-iteravely then you may also repurpose virally. We will intensify our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will redefine the term "innovative". Without preplanned web services, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to evolve efficiently. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to transform efficiently. Think intuitive. Think compelling, virtual. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think frictionless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to scale without reducing our aptitude to engineer. We will extend the aptitude of dynamic e-markets to e-enable. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen user communities, action-items are forced to become 24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to transform intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to deploy compellingly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack systems. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. What does the term "cross-media short-term branding" really mean? Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become compelling, back-end. We have proven we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also extend globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based initiatives and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our ability to enhance. We realize that if you syndicate interactively then you may also mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE.