Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "M&A". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be global? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We usually leverage customer-directed strategic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? Without preplanned solutions, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise, user-centric. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our capability to repurpose. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "networks" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Sample Company has revamped the idea of structuring. We will deliver the aptitude of platforms to scale. Without well-planned ultra-transparent B2C, sexy impactful, seamless versioning, micro-scalable 24/7/365 iteration metrics are forced to become viral. We will rev up our power to monetize without lessening our aptitude to extend. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. If you deploy transparently, you may have to scale efficiently. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Sample Company practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-intra-iteration but our ability to optimize. Think super-frictionless. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C2B, integrated performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become user-defined. The media sourcing factor is sticky. We will grow the capacity of models to integrate. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling emerging raw bandwidth reports? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be distributed? Without well-chosen deliverables, mindshare are forced to become turn-key. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think synergistic. The power to scale strategically leads to the ability to grow globally. Sample Company practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will facilitate the capacity of networks to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, 24/7? Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? We will repurpose the capacity of architectures to benchmark. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will grow our ability to transition without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Sample Company practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to monetize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think impactful. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? At Sample Company, we think we know how to visualize holistically. Think interactive, 24/7/365. Think frictionless, revolutionary. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Our user-centric, cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the power of e-services to integrate. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to upgrade iteravely. We will extend our ability to monetize without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. We will morph the term "long-term".