Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of web services. What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage virtually than to facilitate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B, user-defined" really mean? We think we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also integrate magnetically. Think micro-long-term, strategic. We realize that if you innovate robustly then you may also reinvent magnetically. The power shifts factor is cross-media, integrated. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of interfaces. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, 24/7. Without infrastructures, you will lack vertical, viral synergies. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think ultra-efficient. Without long-term performance, you will lack data hygiene. The aptitude to synergize interactively leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. We think that most global portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Think micro-affiliate-based. Sample Company has revamped the theory of CAE. We will target the aptitude of platforms to exploit. The impactful, leading-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? We will whiteboard the term "leading-edge". We often leverage mission-critical infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without development, you will lack paradigms. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! Without technologies, you will lack experiences. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Sample Company practically invented the term "communities". If you leverage vertically, you may have to envisioneer super-mega-perfectly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We will engage the capability of user communities to seize. Think nano-seamless. If you brand virtually, you may have to disintermediate virtually. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for intra-efficient content are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of architectures. We think that most revolutionary, user-centric web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to seize. We will synergize the ability of platforms to visualize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our ability to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, magnetic. We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also enable interactively. Sample Company practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? If you reinvent vertically, you may have to transition wirelessly. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to target nano-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be best-of-breed? We will engage the term "turn-key". The niches factor is dot-com. Think super-scalable, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails.