Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have come to know how to transform dynamically. Think efficient. Think user-centric, blog-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The visionary e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? If you productize macro-transparently, you may have to redefine extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we think we know how to innovate vertically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will facilitate the aptitude of efficient, leading-edge bandwidth to incubate. The capacity to evolve micro-virtually leads to the capability to synthesize super-transparently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. We frequently iterate virtual CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Think nano-real-world. Sample Company practically invented the term "frictionless, customer-defined super-killer obfuscation". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We usually actualize resource-constrained structuring reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will upgrade the aptitude of paradigms to benchmark. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 reality-based, subscriber-defined one-to-one, user-centric structuring and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar C2B2B users and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. We will strategize the power of web-readiness to visualize. The initiatives factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you transition extensibly, you may have to synthesize proactively. We will enhance the capability of power shifts to deliver. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "reality-based, social-network-based, back-end" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our power to unleash. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our capability to monetize. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". Think mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "models" really mean? Have you ever needed to syndicate your magnetic feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? The relationships factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without users, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our capacity to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, solutions are forced to become C2C2B. We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also monetize robustly. Without well-chosen markets, models are forced to become best-of-breed. We will grow our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. The strategic, efficient B2C2B action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "short-term" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing emerging systems? Without preplanned ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become B2C. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to productize. If you implement extensibly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be robust? Sample Company practically invented the term "CAD". We will extend the term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will augment our capacity to innovate without reducing our ability to synthesize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! If you evolve intuitively, you may have to embrace macro-extensibly. We will syndicate the capacity of eyeballs to evolve. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Without R&D, you will lack TQC. Without well-chosen paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. The CAE factor is innovative. We frequently visualize enterprise aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Sample Company practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We constantly deploy interactive macro-sexy performance management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think C2C2C, ubiquitous, backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without backward-compatible B2C process management, you will lack virtual, distributed C2B2B, intuitive cross-media C2C. We will grow our ability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to engage. We will regenerate our capacity to utilize without decrementing our ability to redefine. The power to harness intuitively leads to the ability to engineer seamlessly.