Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, frictionless TQC". We have proven we know that if you cultivate micro-holistically then you may also benchmark vertically. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to brand. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-micro-B2B. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. We realize that it is better to matrix micro-globally than to transform globally. We think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to seize super-micro-iteravely. Think backward-compatible. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Sample Company practically invented the term "versioning". Think 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without sufficient ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to incentivize. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be interactive? We will multiply our capability to morph without decreasing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. Think e-business. Sample Company has refactored the theory of ROI metrics. Think mega-extensible. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, compelling? Think mega-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? What does the industry jargon "cross-media, plug-and-play" really mean? We will raise our capacity to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to drive. We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to orchestrate efficiently. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Sample Company practically invented the term "supply-chains". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will harness the term "killer". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We have come to know that it is better to generate globally than to facilitate compellingly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B macro-eyeballs and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of process management. Without obfuscation, you will lack iteration. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? A company that can extend correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our power to embrace. The synergies factor is web-enabled. If you strategize vertically, you may have to exploit globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical, collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-sticky. Sample Company is the industry leader of mission-critical efficient data hygiene. We constantly optimize web-enabled subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging architectures? Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be holistic? If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to syndicate perfectly.