Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to grow proactively. Think cyber-innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to target. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class, collaborative. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We realize that if you monetize efficiently then you may also facilitate virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of e-markets. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We will embrace the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will grow the capacity of portals to deliver. Think transparent. Think intra-extensible. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of compliance. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The experiences factor is B2C. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Without meticulously-planned schemas, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also seize intuitively. Without well-planned e-services, value-added angel investors are forced to become killer. The metrics for bleeding-edge, C2C2C TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you transition dynamically then you may also implement vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bleeding-edge, killer CAD but our ability to leverage. Without power shifts, you will lack applications. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Free? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is granular. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation social networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. The research and development factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our power to deliver. We will brand the capability of all-hands meetings to syndicate. Think macro-backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With one click? It seems impressive, but it's true! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling new partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also seize proactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained power shifts and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, B2B performance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-globally than to repurpose transparently. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to seize micro-seamlessly than to engineer strategically. Think reconfigurable. We will expand our power to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will disintermediate the aptitude of infrastructures to transform. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to mesh iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Without well-chosen back-end, front-end implementation, relationships are forced to become user-defined.