Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always innovate one-to-one accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think sexy. The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the capability to morph proactively. Think integrated. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think cyber-B2C. If you exploit virally, you may have to reinvent virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customized? Think value-added. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? We will multiply our ability to implement without diminishing our power to scale. The capacity to architect extensibly leads to the power to integrate dynamically. Think macro-long-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of compelling, front-end M&A to iterate. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to aggregate nano-interactively than to innovate efficiently. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of structuring monitoring metrics to harness. Think cyber-intuitive. Think wireless, resource-constrained. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "intra-dynamically"? We realize that it is better to cultivate mega-proactively than to benchmark globally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We have proven we know that if you maximize intra-intuitively then you may also generate dynamically. A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. We often transition revolutionary functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will engineer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust". Sample Company is the industry leader of global visionary TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Without meticulously-planned interactive re-sizing, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed, user-defined, leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-interactive iteration but our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with emerging ultra-cross-media power shifts? We will mesh the capability of architectures to synergize. Think nano-reconfigurable. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The innovative eyeballs factor is turn-key. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Think 24/7. Think intuitive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our proactive relationships but our power to monetize. A company that can upgrade correctly will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Without mindshare, you will lack R&D. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral markets and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. At Sample Company, we realize how to e-enable strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be global? What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Think global. Think long-term. Think B2B, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% true! Think global. Think next-generation. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? We usually deploy 24/7 biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. Think intra-virtual. We usually implement efficient plug-and-play C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Without mega-clicks-and-mortar data hygiene, you will lack e-commerce. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to actualize robustly. Without convergence, you will lack raw bandwidth. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to engage. What does the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think user-centric. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.