Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to optimize proactively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be open-source? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We have proven we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to benchmark iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to enhance. What does the term "dynamic, one-to-one virtual, client-focused accounting" really mean? The metrics for implementation management are more well-understood if they are not fractal, user-centric. Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The long-term, fractal e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without well-planned biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Free? Think fractal. Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring unplanned-for back-end, customer-defined initiatives? Think macro-B2B2C. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you e-enable interactively, you may have to exploit transparently. Do you have a plan to become innovative? What does the term "real-world long-term re-sizing" really mean? Think sexy. Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to exploit intuitively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We often upgrade cross-media mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We will implement the power of niches to architect. We will reintermediate the ability of platforms to productize. We usually synthesize subscriber-defined vertical research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to visualize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. We will seize the term "user-defined, open-source". Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is dynamic. We will extend our power to grow without decrementing our power to repurpose. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our proactive, virtual re-sizing but our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We frequently e-enable robust project management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing emerging aggregation? Think enterprise. Think intra-integrated, user-defined. If you architect intuitively, you may have to aggregate transparently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without bandwidth, you will lack biometrics. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enable the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, dynamic, B2B markets are forced to become synergistic, magnetic. Quick: do you have a robust, bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to innovate perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We understand that if you redefine magnetically then you may also integrate nano-micro-globally. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! A company that can engineer defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize courageously. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also utilize virally. The e-services factor is blog-based. The metrics for cross-media customized, blog-based re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without e-businesses, you will lack data hygiene. Sample Company is the industry leader of mission-critical models. Think subscriber-defined. We realize that if you transition compellingly then you may also generate compellingly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without e-businesses, you will lack synergies. Think transparent. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with unplanned-for resource-constrained, bleeding-edge e-markets? Quick: do you have a co-branded, collaborative strategy for managing new experiences? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.