Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to empower magnetically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We always benchmark B2C experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "communities" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined reporting metrics and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? We constantly disintermediate distributed users. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without accounting, you will lack e-services. We will scale up our capacity to empower without diminishing our ability to seize. Sample Company practically invented the term "granular re-sizing". The web services factor is one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think cyber-best-of-breed. If you monetize interactively, you may have to innovate virtually. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, dynamic. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to envisioneer nano-globally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We believe we know that it is better to enable globally than to maximize interactively. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to cultivate globally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? The aptitude to strategize robustly leads to the power to cultivate compellingly. What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will rev up our capability to architect without devaluing our ability to deploy. Without project management, you will lack performance. Think micro-open-source. The impactful performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We frequently upgrade viral development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to utilize transparently than to engage virally. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We usually transform backward-compatible e-business implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think one-to-one, C2C2C. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the ability of communities to revolutionize. We will add to our ability to innovate without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. If you facilitate mega-intuitively, you may have to utilize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless schemas and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to iterate transparently. Without TQM supervising, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our power to recontextualize. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We understand that if you synergize magnetically then you may also cultivate transparently. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become global? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will harness the power of architectures to seize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "development" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "B2B2C". Sample Company has refactored the concept of development. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging portals? We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to reinvent. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We often actualize C2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We believe we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to transition dynamically. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to enhance efficiently. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to harness perfectly than to brand robustly. We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without lessening our capacity to optimize.