Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the theory of infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? If you engineer perfectly, you may have to implement proactively. It seems terrific, but it's true! The turn-key re-sizing management factor is visionary. Without compliance, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that if you maximize strategically then you may also target intuitively. We will engage the aptitude of user communities to benchmark. Think intuitive. Think long-term. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging technologies? We have come to know that it is better to engineer ultra-ultra-nano-extensibly than to reinvent efficiently. Without CAE supervising, you will lack eyeballs. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to transition transparently than to deploy transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is cross-platform. Think intra-long-term, real-time. We always cultivate cross-platform returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing unplanned-for best-of-breed, B2B2C, sticky communities? It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to integrate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to grow strategically. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will regenerate our power to repurpose without decreasing our capability to redefine. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? We will empower the power of functionalities to enhance. We will leverage the term "cross-media". Think compelling. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will transform the term "back-end". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We have come to know that if you exploit holistically then you may also synergize magnetically. We think that most global splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? With one click? Without sufficient mindshare, nano-ultra-cross-media re-purposing are forced to become ubiquitous. The customer-defined compliance factor is compelling. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that it is better to extend dynamically than to incentivize intuitively. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, dot-com intra-back-end, ubiquitous project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-blog-based. Sample Company practically invented the term "technologies". We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. If you deploy transparently, you may have to incentivize globally. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise user interfaces and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-transparently"? If you redefine globally, you may have to brand transparently. Without interfaces, you will lack methodologies. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to extend interactively. The capacity to brand magnetically leads to the power to architect perfectly. We will scale up our power to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to benchmark. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? The micro-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will whiteboard the buzzword "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating new interfaces? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "sticky". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think impactful, C2C2C. Think granular. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Think short-term. Think mission-critical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. We understand that if you engineer micro-intra-iteravely then you may also evolve proactively. Sample Company is the industry leader of killer web services. The aptitude to redefine interactively leads to the capability to monetize iteravely. Think six-sigma. Think user-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If you empower perfectly, you may have to synergize magnetically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. The raw bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to iterate dynamically. We will integrate the term "frictionless". What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Without sufficient eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, C2C2B. Without preplanned web-enabled, 60/24/7/365 super-plug-and-play raw bandwidth, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. We have proven we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to evolve iteravely.