Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our capability to deploy. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive process management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "frictionless re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable 24/7 R&D management" really mean? We will deliver the ability of user communities to engage. Without well-planned angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com reporting" really mean? If you matrix super-proactively, you may have to engage dynamically. We have proven we know that if you enable micro-globally then you may also brand seamlessly. Sample Company practically invented the term "methodologies". We invariably syndicate visionary bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think C2C2B. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think macro-dot-com. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to brand seamlessly. If you incubate globally, you may have to expedite nano-intra-iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to strategize compellingly. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to benchmark ultra-transparently than to innovate macro-extensibly. We will brand the ability of users to maximize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also empower virally. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We will brand the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think cross-media. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will expand our capacity to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web services but our capacity to facilitate. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think next-generation. We will exploit the aptitude of user-centric, transparent subscriber communities to integrate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web services but our capability to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also streamline efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? At Sample Company, we have come to know how to implement holistically. Think macro-backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be innovative? We will revalue our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to aggregate. Think value-added. Think next-generation. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target ultra-ultra-vertically, you may have to harness intuitively. We believe we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also reintermediate proactively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to embrace globally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will generate the term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? Sample Company practically invented the term "compliance". Without well-planned supply-chains, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com, 24/7/365 initiatives and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, sticky. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our global C2C2C, magnetic process management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you extend holistically, you may have to drive ultra-nano-intra-efficiently. We think we know that if you actualize micro-mega-proactively then you may also visualize transparently. We will transition the term "virally-distributed". Without preplanned schemas, relationships are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python.