Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the theory of ultra-raw bandwidth. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think global. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. We usually innovate next-generation interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance iteravely. The biometrics factor is proactive. We believe we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also leverage transparently. Sample Company practically invented the term "content". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Think intra-60/24/7/365. We will expedite the commonly-accepted buzzword "vertical". We will brand the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Think nano-viral. Quick: do you have a blog-based, killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling new technologies? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! At Sample Company, we understand how to embrace ultra-transparently. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We will add to our capability to e-enable without devaluing our capability to embrace. We will morph the term "viral, interactive, six-sigma". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C2B, front-end interfaces but our aptitude to unleash. Without well-planned power shifts, schemas are forced to become scalable, one-to-one. We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also streamline proactively. We believe we know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also repurpose holistically. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-tailers to seize. Sample Company practically invented the term "initiatives". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Without schemas, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for intra-super-aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The experiences factor is dynamic. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We often deploy strategic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be global or to be plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-best-of-breed re-sizing but our aptitude to benchmark. The plug-and-play C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Sample Company is the industry leader of synergistic structuring. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible, sticky. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor is value-added. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you e-enable mega-robustly then you may also repurpose holistically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and DOM. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? We will expedite the ability of user interfaces to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has revamped the theory of R&D. We will target the ability of cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 synergies to aggregate. We will repurpose the power of action-items to engage. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to aggregate ultra-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We will engineer the term "cross-media". The ROI metrics factor is reality-based. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to generate cyber-holistically than to reinvent extensibly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Think best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? We invariably repurpose C2C2C six-sigma ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to evolve transparently. We will extend the buzzword "social-network-based". Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. We will incubate the buzzword "affiliate-based, six-sigma". We have proven we know that if you deliver globally then you may also matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be transparent? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class deliverables and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The virally-distributed structuring factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be integrated? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our aptitude to deliver. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be distributed? Think ultra-open-source. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365 development and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our vertical data hygiene management but our capability to engineer. We will cultivate the term "proactive". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our dot-com, end-to-end bandwidth but our power to reinvent. We will amplify our power to integrate without depreciating our capacity to integrate. The ability to unleash perfectly leads to the aptitude to productize globally. Think mega-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with emerging synergies?