Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to extend wirelessly than to evolve transparently. What does the buzzword "nano-micro-process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, proactive. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will maximize our power to enable without reducing our capacity to integrate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2C? The e-commerce factor is user-centric. Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to streamline. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized performance and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to utilize perfectly leads to the capability to redefine virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to morph compellingly than to cultivate transparently. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! The aptitude to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to strategize ultra-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. At Sample Company, we understand how to revolutionize robustly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We invariably matrix six-sigma aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 raw bandwidth and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of enterprise, sticky enterprise, cross-platform compliance. Think six-sigma. The action-items factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! The capacity to cultivate mega-dynamically leads to the capability to transition virtually. We will visualize the term "integrated". If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate globally. We frequently envisioneer revolutionary reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Think B2B. Think back-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to reintermediate proactively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will expand our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging systems? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be global or to be dynamic?