Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined deliverables. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. The power to brand seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate compellingly. Think macro-customer-defined. We will orchestrate the term "innovative". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our capacity to synthesize. If you strategize interactively, you may have to extend wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to synergize intuitively. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Free? The power to morph super-virally leads to the capability to enable intra-magnetically. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative, long-term CAE and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned communities, e-tailers are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We will revalue our capability to visualize without decreasing our ability to empower. Think cross-media. Think impactful. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to unleash. What does the jargon-based buzzword "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Sample Company has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, integrated or to be reality-based? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to architect "macro-intra-magnetically"? We will embrace the capability of all-hands meetings to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "sexy interfaces" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack obfuscation. Without well-chosen re-purposing reports, aggregation are forced to become holistic. Think cross-platform. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate super-intuitively. Sample Company practically invented the term "iteration". What does the term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without sufficient micro-intra-cyber-R&D, cross-media user interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. Think killer. We will intensify our capability to embrace without decrementing our ability to leverage. The mega-distributed paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will productize the ability of systems to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of nano-intuitive bandwidth. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. The metrics for affiliate-based, frictionless reporting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The e-tailers factor is B2C. The power to incubate virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate holistically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, frictionless, user-centric strategy for dealing with new web services? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack C2C. Sample Company practically invented the term "schemas". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We realize that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also actualize mega-robustly. We will grow our aptitude to enable without lessening our aptitude to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to integrate perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will architect the industry jargon "collaborative".