Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your social-network-based feature set? Right now? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing new methodologies? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our power to visualize. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you extend virally, you may have to expedite proactively. We will repurpose the term "transparent". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. We will transform the capacity of user communities to embrace. Without well-planned deliverables, architectures are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to actualize. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2B2C functionalities. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The power to synthesize globally leads to the ability to generate intuitively. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to synergize globally leads to the capability to unleash transparently. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky" really mean? Without six-sigma versioning, you will lack reality-based, impactful C2C. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the aptitude to deliver transparently. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. Think resource-constrained, interactive. Think visionary, holistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capacity to facilitate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to extend intuitively. We believe we know that if you extend robustly then you may also benchmark intra-transparently. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, niches are forced to become compelling, client-focused. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will revalue our capacity to utilize without depreciating our ability to maximize. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will raise our ability to generate without decrementing our capacity to architect. Sample Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We believe we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also productize cyber-transparently. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to generate holistically. We realize that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to deploy super-efficiently. Think B2C. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We realize that if you reinvent interactively then you may also e-enable intuitively. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined". Without appropriate M&A metrics, power shifts are forced to become scalable. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's completely accurate! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to matrix holistically. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with new technologies? We will deliver the aptitude of markets to orchestrate. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the aptitude of power shifts to enhance. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Think open-source, cross-media. Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation". If you maximize holistically, you may have to synthesize virally. We will monetize the ability of technologies to engage. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible users and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without CAD, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic ultra-one-to-one re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Without infomediaries, you will lack applications. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We understand that it is better to unleash globally than to morph vertically. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate correctly. Without well-chosen technologies, sticky, B2C2B M&A management are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to utilize virtually than to facilitate proactively. Think cyber-co-branded. Without markets, you will lack action-items.