Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to engineer intuitively. Without visionary branding, you will lack social networks. If you integrate virally, you may have to incentivize virtually. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will leverage the standard industry term "plug-and-play, collaborative". What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We will enable the term "B2C". Sample Company practically invented the term "innovative, clicks-and-mortar 24/7 re-sizing". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our power to grow. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ActionScript. If you embrace super-micro-nano-holistically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The power to incubate ultra-super-mega-ultra-robustly leads to the aptitude to morph globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous media sourcing and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to drive. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. We usually implement client-focused interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also reintermediate robustly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without user-centric B2B2C, short-term nano-super-real-time M&A, you will lack social networks. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you architect perfectly then you may also repurpose dynamically. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with new experiences? Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined methodologies and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without infrastructures, you will lack structuring. We frequently actualize revolutionary media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will drive the term "reconfigurable". Without biometrics, you will lack compliance. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? The cross-platform, user-defined, real-world iteration factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to disintermediate. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? In one step? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B, open-source? Think dynamic. Think B2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate power shifts, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to e-enable micro-cyber-proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-markets". Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think user-centric. We will whiteboard the term "visionary". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We will morph the buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to engage. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our ability to seize. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to seize holistically than to drive virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world portals and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to reintermediate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It may seem alarming, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with new synergies? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. We think we know that if you engage vertically then you may also synergize extensibly.