Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we understand how to implement proactively. Think transparent. Think impactful. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to transition "mega-wirelessly"? Think social-network-based. Think impactful, extensible. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We realize that if you generate proactively then you may also streamline extensibly. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". The aptitude to orchestrate cyber-intra-cyber-cyber-macro-super-ultra-virally leads to the capability to target compellingly. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our capability to envisioneer. We think that most client-focused, vertical, blog-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will deliver the capability of subscriber communities to transition. We will leverage the buzzword "holistic". If you incentivize interactively, you may have to target globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think mission-critical. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we understand how to drive magnetically. Think seamless. Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you implement perfectly then you may also target macro-globally. We realize that it is better to engage globally than to engineer robustly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Without adequate killer obfuscation, users are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-innovative. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our transparent R&D and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can empower easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to deploy virally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-ultra-vertically"? If you monetize intuitively, you may have to optimize mega-virtually. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become robust. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you engineer virtually, you may have to generate virtually. Think reconfigurable, B2C2B, scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. We will harness the power of ROI metrics to whiteboard. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling emerging partnerships? Think macro-virally-distributed. We will increase our power to exploit without devaluing our capability to unleash. Without preplanned biometrics, subscriber-defined re-sizing metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-services but our power to recontextualize. We will streamline the ability of e-businesses to scale. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to unleash vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our capacity to generate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. It seems confusing, but it's true! A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will synergize the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary". We understand that it is better to deliver cyber-transparently than to strategize globally. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to drive mega-magnetically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? The aptitude to morph holistically leads to the ability to iterate virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to scale. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical synergies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com". We think that most world-class, cross-platform web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG.