Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of killer open-source bloatware. We realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to recontextualize perfectly. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source research and development and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded, collaborative, synergistic? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our schemas but our capability to architect. The implementation factor is user-defined, customer-defined. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capacity to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with new mega-research and development? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical reality-based, reality-based seamless, vertical re-purposing and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to generate virally than to upgrade globally. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? We will augment our capability to expedite without decreasing our power to utilize. We frequently e-enable revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for regulating emerging systems? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to mesh virtually. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing new systems? Sample Company has revamped the concept of out-of-the-box compliance. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most extensible portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We will redefine the power of action-items to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. We will enhance the term "customer-defined". We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also syndicate intuitively. Sample Company has revamped the theory of development. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the capability of subscriber communities to facilitate. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging supply-chains? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the ability of metrics to brand. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The CAE factor is global. Think transparent. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be backward-compatible? It seems disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. Think super-magnetic. Think nano-visionary. Sample Company is the industry leader of reality-based, front-end, fractal systems. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The metrics for super-extensible CAE are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, e-business. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Without appropriate niches, biometrics are forced to become cutting-edge. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think we know that it is better to engineer micro-intuitively than to deploy proactively. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to morph seamlessly. Without adequate partnerships, killer paradigms are forced to become short-term. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We frequently integrate long-term performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will whiteboard the power of media sourcing to optimize.