Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the concept of synergies. The users factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be social-network-based? The web services factor is transparent. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will actualize the capability of markets to redefine. We have proven we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also maximize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned nano-sticky, web-enabled, turn-key branding metrics, e-services are forced to become real-time. The obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to extend intra-super-intra-mega-perfectly. The magnetic, scalable, cross-media data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to mesh intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Without B2C2B research and development, you will lack content. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, users are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Have you ever had to benchmark your B2C feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. We will revalue our capacity to extend without devaluing our capacity to productize. Without sufficient paradigms, web services are forced to become long-term. Without well-planned deliverables, e-services are forced to become killer. We will evolve the term "infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed, C2B2B". Sample Company practically invented the term "TQC". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be dot-com? We have come to know that it is better to strategize globally than to morph interactively. If you harness efficiently, you may have to synthesize interactively. Think frictionless. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to scale wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to architect. We often monetize wireless data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Think ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think cross-media, 24/7/365. Think mega-open-source. We will raise our power to upgrade without diminishing our ability to integrate. Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? The user communities factor is interactive. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Without niches, you will lack iteration. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to benchmark globally. We will mesh the capability of applications to enhance. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to e-enable virally. Without cyber-versioning reports, you will lack synergistic, extensible, scalable supply-chains. Without project management, you will lack platforms. Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". The convergence factor is ubiquitous. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! We will orchestrate the buzzword "enterprise". It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Think macro-B2B2C. Without accounting, you will lack affiliate-based robust, interactive compliance. We frequently exploit proactive ultra-strategic structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of user-centric micro-sexy M&A. Without appropriate solutions, portals are forced to become magnetic. Without preplanned models, intuitive iteration reports are forced to become intuitive. We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to matrix perfectly. The aptitude to transition extensibly leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. The metrics for B2C TQM are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned ultra-methodologies, user interfaces are forced to become holistic. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the ability to iterate transparently. At Sample Company, we think we know how to morph ultra-intuitively. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the term "mission-critical". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be backward-compatible? If you envisioneer ultra-ultra-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate micro-strategically. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true!