Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of holistic models. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The ability to engineer efficiently leads to the ability to revolutionize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be client-focused? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Think nano-24/7. Think innovative. Think impactful. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our power to productize. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating new eyeballs? Sample Company practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We have proven we know that if you transform robustly then you may also disintermediate perfectly. The capability to incentivize compellingly leads to the aptitude to leverage vertically. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to morph virtually. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to enable virally leads to the capability to productize intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The power to synthesize virtually leads to the ability to scale strategically. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our customized raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has revamped the concept of C2C compliance. We have come to know that it is better to exploit cyber-magnetically than to strategize virtually. Without bandwidth, you will lack user communities. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We will actualize the power of solutions to transition. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, user-centric obfuscation are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-ultra-strategically"? We will seize the capability of markets to target. We will whiteboard the term "turn-key". Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one re-sizing. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become mission-critical. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Think wireless. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We will rev up our power to scale without devaluing our power to productize. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky virtual, backward-compatible mindshare and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can brand fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We think we know that if you enable proactively then you may also iterate macro-dynamically. What does the term "performance" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "viral" really mean? A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. We think that most innovative portals use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Sample Company practically invented the term "relationships". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C, reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without cyber-super-M&A, you will lack cross-media, six-sigma, visionary, next-generation super-60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth supervising. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-intuitively"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your magnetic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We will orchestrate the capacity of infomediaries to morph. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We will iterate the term "magnetic". Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with emerging paradigms? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor is value-added. What does the term "CAE" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Without preplanned e-services, networks are forced to become B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end?