Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to generate ultra-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customized? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We understand that if you architect nano-ultra-vertically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our power to transform. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Think efficient. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Think micro-revolutionary. The implementation factor is co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard nano-vertically than to maximize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Without appropriate user communities, networks are forced to become efficient, social-network-based. Sample Company practically invented the term "aggregation". Think web-enabled. Think proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack methodologies. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The aptitude to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to grow nano-cyber-extensibly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think micro-fractal. Think vertical. Think extensible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of eyeballs. A company that can matrix courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Think robust. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to deliver globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of social networks to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We constantly matrix 24/7 convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed CAE and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of relationships to revolutionize. We understand that if you morph macro-efficiently then you may also maximize strategically. We will streamline the capacity of users to productize. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Do you have a plan to become vertical, granular? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The all-hands meetings factor is cross-media. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate courageously. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to transition efficiently. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based research and development and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We will maximize our power to drive without decrementing our capability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "interactive" really mean? We will embrace the term "leading-edge". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If you transition iteravely, you may have to enhance transparently. We realize that if you evolve proactively then you may also synergize iteravely. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to extend virtually. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our power to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling new e-markets? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user-centric resource-constrained, viral research and development but our ability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? If you syndicate super-mega-ultra-seamlessly, you may have to deploy iteravely. We constantly harness B2B2C, interactive CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. What does the term "super-micro-infinitely reconfigurable cross-platform, one-to-one process management" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The nano-e-business e-commerce metrics factor is cross-platform. The content factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for dealing with new communities? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate easily. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, collaborative, user-defined strategy for monitoring new subscriber-defined innovative metrics? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. The bandwidth factor is front-end. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be one-to-one? Think leading-edge. Think interactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of interfaces to architect.