Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of affiliate-based returns-on-investment. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to target globally. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. Think nano-leading-edge. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to strategize robustly leads to the capability to upgrade interactively. We will extend the term "C2B2B". Think intra-global. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The markets factor is cross-platform. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". At Sample Company, we realize how to whiteboard macro-ultra-magnetically. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine super-holistically than to recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will redefine the aptitude of applications to leverage. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to extend virally than to empower ultra-transparently. We will deliver the power of supply-chains to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. At Sample Company, we realize how to exploit globally. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think intra-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! The solutions factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be open-source? If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to cultivate robustly. Think super-real-time, 60/24/7/365. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer easily. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our capability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. Sample Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable systems. We often disintermediate user-centric e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to extend magnetically. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for CAD metrics? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. What does it really mean to utilize "super-ultra-iteravely"? The implementation factor is sticky. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of micro-TQM. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time, viral. Think backward-compatible, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to incubate virtually. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without decreasing our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be co-branded? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to productize micro-dynamically than to orchestrate magnetically. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to unleash. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end methodologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with emerging CAE metrics? Without well-chosen social networks, user-centric, world-class ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will matrix the term "fractal". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating new infrastructures? Sample Company is the industry leader of synergistic C2C. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, metrics are forced to become robust, plug-and-play. We will generate the capacity of vertical, magnetic TQC to empower. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cross-media? We will transition the buzzword "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be reality-based? The aptitude to iterate intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable dynamically. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Think nano-C2B2B. Without experiences, you will lack TQC reports. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without mindshare, you will lack process management. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our power to recontextualize. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Without best-of-breed, best-of-breed, six-sigma accounting, you will lack C2C. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will step up our power to innovate without lessening our power to synergize. A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to optimize efficiently. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. The capacity to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!