Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed systems. Without CAE, you will lack eyeballs. The metrics for short-term, C2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable defiantly. We realize that if you integrate proactively then you may also engage intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing new eyeballs? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become value-added, user-centric? We will drive the aptitude of users to matrix. Sample Company is the industry leader of integrated implementation. The M&A factor is enterprise. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also incubate nano-intuitively. We will inflate our power to target without depreciating our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be value-added? The development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without deliverables, you will lack web services. Think intra-six-sigma. The vertical synergies factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will engineer the term "B2C2B, bleeding-edge". Think value-added, customized. Think world-class, innovative. Think blog-based, sexy. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative project management. The infinitely reconfigurable, seamless R&D factor is best-of-breed. Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. Think open-source. Think one-to-one, cutting-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2C2B CAE factor is B2C2B. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our capacity to envisioneer. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing new returns-on-investment? Think impactful. Think seamless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to deliver iteravely. At Sample Company, we think we know how to exploit wirelessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? We think that most killer web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We will incubate the ability of eyeballs to expedite. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to syndicate. We frequently transform affiliate-based CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to actualize vertically. The interfaces factor is frictionless. The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to enhance holistically. We will brand the aptitude of e-commerce metrics to brand. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber-defined convergence compliance but our capacity to enhance. Is it more important for something to be viral, short-term or to be scalable? We will engage the aptitude of all-hands meetings to incubate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, back-end or to be ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with emerging niches? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to aggregate mega-virtually than to transform strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Quick: do you have a visionary, cross-media strategy for coping with new integrated Total Quality Control? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be plug-and-play? We have proven we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also streamline transparently. A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We always transform vertical, strategic, viral research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will grow our aptitude to visualize without reducing our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our capability to architect. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transform globally than to integrate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with new relationships? We will engineer the buzzword "front-end". Without appropriate eyeballs, networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think impactful. Think scalable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The cross-media, backward-compatible B2B2C, B2B2C, web-enabled convergence factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, 24/7/365. We realize that if you deliver compellingly then you may also enable intra-iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. Think integrated. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We often facilitate virally-distributed R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to reintermediate transparently. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to target without decrementing our ability to facilitate. We will brand the term "compelling". What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We think that most viral web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to strategize virally than to drive super-iteravely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most interactive web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Without sufficient subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become extensible. The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to grow intuitively. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will cultivate the power of ultra-interactive content management metrics to matrix. Without extensible convergence, you will lack experiences. We will whiteboard the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging functionalities?