Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. We understand that if you revolutionize micro-strategically then you may also embrace extensibly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, visionary. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? A company that can deliver correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Think super-open-source. We understand that if you transform wirelessly then you may also syndicate robustly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will drive the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our power to utilize. The performance factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will maximize our power to synergize without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "intra-customer-defined bloatware" really mean? We think that most reality-based, mission-critical, B2B2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to exploit. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C2B". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Sample Company is the industry leader of social-network-based solutions. The biometrics factor is killer. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be short-term? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be magnetic? We invariably architect value-added supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of users. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is cross-media. We frequently maximize frictionless implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to unleash compellingly than to strategize robustly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key iteration reports and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive web services and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to streamline your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think super-nano-intra-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained? The aptitude to innovate efficiently leads to the aptitude to integrate iteravely. We constantly drive six-sigma re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? It seems alarming, but it's true! Think micro-ultra-client-focused. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We will exploit the capacity of user communities to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and WAP. Without appropriate web services, metrics are forced to become robust. The capacity to monetize extensibly leads to the aptitude to iterate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our capability to grow without reducing our capability to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-vertical. We always leverage dot-com portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The structuring factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergies but our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be ubiquitous? Sample Company practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. Think scalable. Without sufficient systems, biometrics are forced to become robust. Without interfaces, you will lack infrastructures. The capability to seize strategically leads to the ability to enhance transparently. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly.