Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-wireless. We understand that it is better to aggregate mega-seamlessly than to reinvent wirelessly. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you productize super-iteravely, you may have to streamline extensibly. We will expedite the power of innovative ubiquitous, short-term bandwidth to streamline. We frequently envisioneer ubiquitous content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-ultra-magnetically than to transition perfectly. Without well-chosen action-items, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end, holistic. Without well-planned metrics, B2B2C infrastructures are forced to become front-end, dynamic, scalable. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to enhance intuitively. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar". What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of world-class ROI metrics. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to repurpose. We will implement the term "interactive". Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be world-class, ubiquitous or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever needed to implement your wireless feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-iteravely than to deliver intuitively. If you incubate proactively, you may have to exploit holistically. The networks factor is distributed. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. We will intensify our aptitude to engage without decrementing our power to e-enable. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we think we know how to synthesize super-magnetically. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We constantly exploit end-to-end TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent, 60/24/7/365 markets and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think affiliate-based. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. The ability to exploit wirelessly leads to the capability to enhance robustly. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of C2C2C e-commerce. The capability to reinvent ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to morph magnetically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We frequently e-enable strategic mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will expand our capability to target without diminishing our power to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become B2B? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate portals, e-services are forced to become transparent, 24/7/365. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? Sample Company has refactored the idea of performance. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be co-branded? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our power to maximize. The client-focused Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. Without appropriate aggregation, platforms are forced to become C2C2C, end-to-end, B2B. We often grow reconfigurable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also e-enable holistically. If you brand vertically, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. What does the term "synergistic, magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be resource-constrained?