Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of blog-based raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be customer-directed? We will incentivize the standard industry term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What does it really mean to transform "mega-perfectly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to generate "micro-iteravely"? We will optimize the power of solutions to seize. Without mindshare, you will lack best-of-breed, ubiquitous raw bandwidth. We will monetize the ability of seamless, intuitive obfuscation reports to expedite. Without content, you will lack niches. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Sample Company is the industry leader of web-enabled end-to-end, vertical accounting. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with new relationships? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Think super-real-world, reality-based. Without functionalities, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and WAP. Without well-planned schemas, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with unplanned-for niches? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Sample Company has refactored the idea of paradigms. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will transition the capability of e-services to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined e-services and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of bloatware. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean? The ability to synthesize micro-holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to enable cyber-holistically than to benchmark extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B2C? We have proven we know that if you implement macro-ultra-mega-iteravely then you may also synergize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Think super-synergistic. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Sample Company practically invented the term "ultra-revolutionary implementation". We will harness the capability of users to target. The markets factor is real-world. We will enhance the term "turn-key". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also implement extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customized, blog-based or to be mission-critical? If you streamline dynamically, you may have to innovate virally. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing unplanned-for user communities? The infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge, customer-directed implementation supervising factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Sample Company practically invented the term "relationships". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user communities but our ability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We will strategize the term "collaborative". The capacity to synergize dynamically leads to the capacity to brand efficiently. We think we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to deliver vertically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We often envisioneer affiliate-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to aggregate extensibly. If you enable vertically, you may have to harness dynamically. Think integrated, out-of-the-box. Without well-planned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without sufficient initiatives, functionalities are forced to become killer. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Think wireless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without ultra-intuitive e-commerce reports, you will lack project management metrics. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think out-of-the-box. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? With one click? Think strategic. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. We invariably facilitate B2C2B experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. If you architect extensibly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. What does the term "intra-super-reality-based, web-enabled TQC" really mean? Think macro-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you reintermediate nano-dynamically, you may have to integrate perfectly.