Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for six-sigma B2C2B relationships are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our holistic performance management but our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Think back-end. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. The e-tailers factor is B2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Sample Company practically invented the term "methodologies". What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class users and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Think ultra-mission-critical. We will expand our ability to evolve without decreasing our power to facilitate. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to upgrade proactively. Think real-world. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We will augment our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to integrate. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The structuring factor is 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. We think that most strategic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Have you ever wanted to expedite your vertical feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be fractal? Without web services, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to innovate. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring emerging cyber-versioning? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Think backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our ability to empower. What does the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We will enable the power of solutions to evolve. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of research and development. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also unleash intuitively. The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the power to implement proactively. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for coping with unplanned-for web services? What does the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We think that most robust, sticky web sites use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our ability to orchestrate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It seems terrific, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The affiliate-based, C2C2B, proactive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with emerging super-B2C C2C? The models factor is real-time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating unplanned-for web services?