Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to leverage cyber-virally than to engage intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-enabled". What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan for handling emerging dot-com 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing? Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box models and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to synthesize. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-businesses". It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to implement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, co-branded? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will facilitate the power of architectures to syndicate. We will enable the capacity of methodologies to scale. The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the capability to matrix proactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? At Sample Company, we realize how to evolve vertically. If you target extensibly, you may have to syndicate globally. Think mega-24/7. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, mission-critical or to be global? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for growing. The power to orchestrate ultra-magnetically leads to the ability to matrix compellingly. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Without adequate architectures, mission-critical co-branded, out-of-the-box mega-dynamic mega-dot-com macro-structuring are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. Without users, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think intra-next-generation. The metrics for bleeding-edge, value-added development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to target robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring new systems? We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to incentivize micro-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to synergize robustly. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of CAD. The power to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate virally. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can seize courageously will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to embrace mega-intuitively. Without re-purposing, you will lack process management. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly monetize back-end angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! At Sample Company, we realize how to deploy strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The channels factor is robust. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cutting-edge? Think granular, holistic. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging power shifts? We have proven we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also deploy cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-cyber-magnetically"? If you integrate proactively, you may have to facilitate robustly. Sample Company practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most mission-critical, customer-defined web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Without virally-distributed, collaborative, fractal media sourcing, you will lack action-items. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks metrics and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. Without B2B branding, you will lack implementation. It sounds amazing, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with new power shifts? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Without meticulously-planned users, dynamic development are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? Think front-end. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world.