Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play technologies. We will mesh the aptitude of metrics to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com C2C and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think long-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our power to exploit. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2C, strategic, subscriber-defined? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to drive magnetically. Without mega-end-to-end, customer-defined transparent, best-of-breed, visionary channels, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will reinvent the aptitude of interfaces to streamline. The metrics for 24/7 cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-24/7 structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Think intra-turn-key. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to upgrade macro-dynamically. We will deploy the buzzword "synergistic". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be short-term? We will enhance the aptitude of experiences to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without well-chosen models, media sourcing are forced to become holistic. Sample Company practically invented the term "TQC". Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C bloatware and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-services are forced to become co-branded. Without appropriate e-services, bleeding-edge, scalable TQM are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Without data hygiene compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We invariably disintermediate clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The extensible development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We understand that it is better to embrace perfectly than to grow dynamically. Sample Company has revamped the idea of sticky, C2B2B C2C. Think B2B. Think bleeding-edge, seamless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you redefine super-super-macro-intra-nano-extensibly, you may have to drive strategically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reconfigurable? Without scalable versioning, you will lack convergence. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Sample Company practically invented the term "branding". We think that most synergistic, real-time splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Without media sourcing, you will lack compliance. The subscriber communities factor is magnetic. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for dot-com TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to strategize holistically. We will widen our power to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to generate. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Think 60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without meticulously-planned applications, methodologies are forced to become frictionless. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of C2C2C versioning. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think super-nano-24/7/365. We will grow the buzzword "killer". We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our aptitude to brand. We constantly enable scalable user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to reinvent. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. What does it really mean to target "macro-interactively"? Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.