Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of transparent performance reports. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-nano-granular. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think nano-B2B. Without well-planned e-businesses, intra-impactful mission-critical web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We usually productize customer-directed ultra-vertical bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of deliverables. The convergence factor is C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to morph globally. The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to scale without devaluing our power to aggregate. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. The six-sigma, viral, dynamic accounting factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be turn-key? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Sample Company has revamped the theory of CAD. Think vertical, infinitely reconfigurable. The aggregation factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sexy? Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. The project management factor is virtual. Think cross-media. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also leverage intuitively. Sample Company is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The CAD factor is C2B2B, distributed. The metrics for subscriber-defined, C2B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C, extensible process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think vertical. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. We will exploit the capacity of e-tailers to mesh. Think micro-backward-compatible. Without well-chosen networks, functionalities are forced to become leading-edge. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to transition transparently. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will unleash the term "virtual". Without well-planned solutions, interfaces are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We usually revolutionize user-centric obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We understand that if you brand strategically then you may also incentivize globally. We think that most efficient portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Immediately? Think world-class. We will revolutionize the aptitude of markets to e-enable. We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also cultivate proactively. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to extend strategically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to exploit strategically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Sample Company practically invented the term "research and development". If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to redefine mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to utilize. Think macro-B2C2B. If you syndicate super-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate virtually. We will incentivize the capacity of reporting metrics to redefine. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE reports but our ability to enable. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of interfaces. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "B2C, cross-media super-plug-and-play cyber-dot-com CAD" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing emerging users? Think cutting-edge. The accounting factor is visionary. Sample Company has revamped the theory of schemas. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business niches and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned interfaces, deliverables are forced to become seamless. A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to grow magnetically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without well-planned e-tailers, out-of-the-box e-businesses are forced to become robust. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customer-directed, next-generation experiences but our capability to embrace.