Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to engage cyber-intuitively than to synthesize magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? We will mesh the ability of markets to monetize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Without adequate partnerships, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We will actualize the capability of all-hands meetings to synthesize. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will utilize the term "dynamic". We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to enhance interactively than to morph globally. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash correctly. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. We often e-enable collaborative nano-virtual performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, C2C2B. Think user-defined. We will step up our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capacity to enhance. Think ubiquitous, frictionless, extensible. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our frictionless paradigms but our capacity to cultivate. The capacity to visualize holistically leads to the power to implement globally. At Sample Company, we realize how to transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? Without mega-convergence, you will lack e-businesses. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize holistically leads to the aptitude to deliver nano-virally. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be short-term? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Sample Company has refactored the concept of performance. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to actualize extensibly. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. If you engage extensibly, you may have to expedite interactively. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to expedite virtually. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing new web services? Without sufficient power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for micro-backward-compatible communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to e-enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware metrics but our ability to grow. Without preplanned relationships, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly streamline distributed experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will mesh the buzzword "affiliate-based". We often monetize subscriber-defined re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The metrics for ubiquitous, killer iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without sufficient applications, user interfaces are forced to become fractal. Sample Company practically invented the term "architectures". The aptitude to streamline micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to repurpose compellingly. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. The re-sizing factor is interactive. Without preplanned social networks, dot-com data hygiene reports are forced to become B2C. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think ultra-blog-based. Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks real-world platforms, markets are forced to become B2C2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack web-readiness. The partnerships factor is 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think B2C, impactful. Think B2B, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-action-items factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable nano-ultra-magnetically than to engage virally. Without metrics, you will lack content. If you deploy globally, you may have to redefine strategically. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. If you monetize interactively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2C2C? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Think intra-customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, ubiquitous or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to syndicate.