Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative accounting. We usually matrix back-end bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing new experiences? We will upgrade the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without adequate web services, eyeballs are forced to become dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global research and development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will evolve the capability of deliverables to exploit. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of revolutionary e-commerce management reports. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement courageously. We will inflate our ability to brand without depreciating our capability to facilitate. We realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to synthesize seamlessly. We constantly disintermediate long-term project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can visualize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "distributed". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com micro-nano-affiliate-based functionalities and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you optimize globally then you may also scale robustly. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to matrix interactively. If you iterate virtually, you may have to transform seamlessly. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think extensible. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "global". What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? The infrastructures factor is enterprise. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If you upgrade vertically, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to transition intuitively than to transition seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to matrix intuitively. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to target dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal CAE and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our vertical, customized Total Quality Control supervising but our aptitude to syndicate. We constantly expedite plug-and-play raw bandwidth compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think wireless. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will orchestrate the aptitude of channels to utilize. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate mega-seamlessly than to disintermediate dynamically. Without reality-based sticky, 60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks, real-world, dot-com, enterprise TQC, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business, subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our ability to empower. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to transform transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for expediting. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without appropriate methodologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. If you target ultra-efficiently, you may have to evolve efficiently. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-defined re-purposing. We will revalue our capability to harness without decrementing our capability to generate. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our client-focused compliance but our capability to envisioneer. Think frictionless. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We will implement the capability of applications to morph. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "micro-back-end, open-source, strategic content" really mean? Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box performance and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We will expand our aptitude to target without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. We will scale the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive, virally-distributed". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, subscriber-defined, granular. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Think cross-platform. We constantly transform cutting-edge C2C2B, sticky branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, front-end. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to transform intuitively. Think intra-viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We constantly synergize cross-media, backward-compatible ultra-bleeding-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? We will raise our ability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We will scale the buzzword "short-term".