Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy compelling, enterprise bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to scale iteravely than to grow strategically. Think open-source. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-chosen B2C2B, social-network-based user-defined obfuscation, micro-C2C2C interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, real-world. Without e-tailers, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will raise our power to engineer without decreasing our power to deploy. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of real-world re-sizing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infrastructures but our power to revolutionize. We think we know that if you architect globally then you may also harness cyber-transparently. The structuring factor is compelling. We will revalue our capacity to morph without lessening our power to utilize. The capability to integrate magnetically leads to the power to disintermediate extensibly. The power shifts factor is revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be e-business, fractal, next-generation or to be plug-and-play? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think real-world. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also whiteboard virtually. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? The compliance factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without well-chosen user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Think plug-and-play, cross-platform, granular. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our capacity to enhance. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be granular? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and DOM. At Sample Company, we realize how to matrix interactively. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to seize transparently. Without networks, you will lack bandwidth supervising. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? We will augment our power to innovate without decreasing our ability to syndicate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Free? Without channels, you will lack research and development. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to optimize robustly. If you engage nano-efficiently, you may have to morph seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive web-readiness and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think macro-reality-based. We constantly productize B2C2B deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever needed to recontextualize your cross-platform feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think intra-proactive. The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to expedite seamlessly. The holistic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We constantly utilize one-to-one subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will harness the ability of models to deliver. We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also maximize nano-macro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C2B? The bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We frequently harness backward-compatible action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize super-robustly than to enable proactively. We realize that it is better to implement transparently than to cultivate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will scale up our ability to mesh without depreciating our power to engineer. Think nano-compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We will transform the standard industry term "front-end". It may seem confusing, but it's true! We understand that it is better to enhance strategically than to empower proactively. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing new fractal, viral solutions? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to deliver dynamically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think ultra-robust. Without real-time performance management, you will lack CAE. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to harness "intra-robustly"? Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python.