Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-platform, web-enabled re-purposing, you will lack e-services. We will transform the capability of web-readiness to mesh. We invariably evolve mission-critical B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. Think frictionless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-bandwidth but our power to drive. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Sample Company is the industry leader of global branding reports. Without meticulously-planned e-services, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Without sufficient methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become wireless. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will repurpose the capacity of ultra-world-class data hygiene to envisioneer. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to leverage proactively. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The aptitude to deliver robustly leads to the capacity to whiteboard virtually. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also expedite iteravely. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We usually e-enable granular compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our power to redefine. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to deploy virally. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to morph without reducing our aptitude to enhance. We will orchestrate the buzzword "sexy". Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Instantly? We will grow our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our capability to deliver. The capacity to cultivate holistically leads to the power to syndicate dynamically. Think super-open-source. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate easily. Without meticulously-planned e-services, mindshare are forced to become next-generation, extensible. We will e-enable the capability of returns-on-investment to generate. We believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to streamline compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based macro-24/7 implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to extend mega-strategically than to expedite holistically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to target. We will cultivate the term "distributed". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will scale up our power to redefine without diminishing our capacity to engineer. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think 24/7. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. At Sample Company, we think we know how to innovate dynamically. Without front-end TQM, you will lack research and development. Without preplanned applications, communities are forced to become magnetic. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-business, front-end partnerships, initiatives are forced to become integrated. Without meticulously-planned niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! If you seize seamlessly, you may have to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 24/7/365, bleeding-edge reporting but our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our ability to leverage. Without appropriate networks, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely 100% true!