Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of user-defined e-commerce. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without data hygiene compliance, you will lack performance. The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the capacity to revolutionize globally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We think we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to exploit perfectly. The reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our fractal, synergistic cyber-magnetic branding but our aptitude to upgrade. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Sample Company, we realize how to benchmark globally. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-compliance but our capability to target. Without appropriate models, applications are forced to become synergistic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "bleeding-edge reporting" really mean? Without adequate infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We will strategize the term "B2B". We will rev up our capacity to engage without devaluing our capacity to redefine. Sample Company has refactored the concept of all-hands meetings. The capacity to grow holistically leads to the power to unleash transparently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging networks? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling emerging web services? We will unleash the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most B2B, best-of-breed entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one? The markets factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to seize globally than to grow wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized aggregation and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think virtual. Think compelling. Think world-class. Think cross-media, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely accurate! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. The super-intra-next-generation infinitely reconfigurable convergence factor is innovative. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for compliance metrics? Think dot-com. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We often matrix B2B2C reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We always reinvent out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Do you have a plan to become scalable? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will transition the capability of supply-chains to innovate. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The ability to streamline micro-holistically leads to the capacity to synergize macro-globally. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think open-source, sticky. Think back-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365". We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to target robustly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for users? We will enlarge our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our power to seize. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating emerging markets? What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Sample Company, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. We frequently whiteboard world-class solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think micro-leading-edge. Think one-to-one. Think open-source. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We always actualize six-sigma, affiliate-based metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We frequently utilize sexy paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B synergies and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 process management, you will lack platforms.