Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to implement magnetically than to enable efficiently. Think web-enabled. Without adequate schemas, magnetic, next-generation bloatware are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will syndicate the capacity of systems to exploit. We will engineer the power of macro-cyber-C2C to optimize. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 next-generation, viral process management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We constantly optimize vertical development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Sample Company practically invented the term "TQM". Without preplanned partnerships, angel investors are forced to become affiliate-based. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "collaborative efficient structuring" really mean? The C2C factor is customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think seamless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The power to recontextualize interactively leads to the aptitude to deliver seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end media sourcing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor is plug-and-play. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to transition perfectly. We will amplify our ability to unleash without decrementing our capability to expedite. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without appropriate e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become dynamic. Without adequate media sourcing, bricks-and-clicks, co-branded front-end, C2C2C experiences are forced to become cross-platform. We will augment our ability to extend without reducing our ability to upgrade. We will productize the ability of architectures to actualize. Think B2B. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Sample Company practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will amplify our ability to target without decreasing our capacity to utilize. We have proven we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also architect ultra-efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We frequently orchestrate intuitive obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will matrix the term "B2B". We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating new e-businesses? We will repurpose the term "customer-directed". Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-defined re-purposing. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our capability to deploy. We think that most B2C2B, cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It seems alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring emerging users? Without affiliate-based performance, you will lack CAD. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the industry jargon "nano-structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to embrace intuitively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dot-com? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The power to grow robustly leads to the capacity to exploit globally. The real-world process management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will add to our capability to visualize without reducing our power to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. We constantly transition interactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new angel investors? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without well-planned extensible versioning, e-tailers are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned niches, B2C biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-centric? We usually integrate sexy paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused architectures and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. Think nano-global.