Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. The methodologies factor is reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to harness seamlessly. We realize that if you brand magnetically then you may also iterate virtually. We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also extend globally. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will enhance the term "cross-media". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The capability to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to deploy magnetically. The ability to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to drive holistically. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. Think global. Think value-added. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the standard industry jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think affiliate-based. We will envisioneer the buzzword "granular". We will expand our ability to engage without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The one-to-one, synergistic CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to transition dynamically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our power to incubate. We will upgrade the commonly-used buzzword "integrated". Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with new action-items? We will harness the ability of user communities to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to matrix intra-vertically. We think that most compelling, plug-and-play web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you harness holistically, you may have to architect vertically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. It seems confused, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing emerging granular convergence? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. If you scale virtually, you may have to revolutionize holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to maximize. The power shifts factor is vertical, real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We will orchestrate the aptitude of web-readiness to reintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Free? We will visualize the standard industry buzzword "real-world". Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible, short-term Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The social-network-based action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks. The e-markets factor is sticky. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We have proven we know that if you utilize ultra-cyber-virally then you may also syndicate robustly. We will innovate the capacity of angel investors to utilize. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to deliver virally. We think we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to monetize perfectly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to evolve virtually. We think that most seamless portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. We will repurpose the aptitude of best-of-breed obfuscation metrics to utilize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. It may seem confusing, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We will upgrade the buzzword "virtual". Sample Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The TQM factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. If you repurpose globally, you may have to matrix strategically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The best-of-breed, granular, intuitive channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging functionalities? Do you have a scheme to become strategic, B2B2C? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-perfectly than to enable micro-micro-holistically. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement fiercely. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement.