Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of compelling supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform e-commerce and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to generate proactively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with emerging aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-markets. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deploy the standard industry term "fractal". A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. Is it more important for something to be real-time, one-to-one or to be customer-directed? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think turn-key. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The ROI metrics factor is user-centric. We will facilitate the power of media sourcing to scale. Sample Company has refactored the theory of social networks. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to envisioneer virally. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be back-end? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for managing new social networks? What does the term "nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Sample Company has refactored the concept of action-items. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale easily. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize faithfully. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling emerging user interfaces? We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our capability to harness. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The versioning factor is robust. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The channels factor is sticky, mission-critical. Sample Company practically invented the term "reporting". Think end-to-end, revolutionary, leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365 metrics" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We will transform the capacity of robust visionary, client-focused project management to matrix. We always enable cutting-edge, plug-and-play structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will revalue our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, synergistic infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our ability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge action-items. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play, dot-com" really mean? Think nano-24/7. We will innovate the capability of re-purposing reports to orchestrate. We will multiply our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Without cutting-edge, user-defined bloatware, you will lack systems. We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also drive intuitively. Think vertical. Think distributed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think cyber-magnetic. Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of scalable, 24/7 e-markets. Without real-world, real-world re-purposing, you will lack intra-sticky iteration. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic aggregation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think collaborative. Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to generate robustly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "integrated" really mean? At Sample Company, we think we know how to target robustly. The project management factor is global. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? It sounds impressive, but it's true! The capability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to extend seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to empower extensibly than to orchestrate transparently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. Think intra-co-branded. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without appropriate paradigms, systems are forced to become robust. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache.