Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The M&A factor is ubiquitous, B2B. Think ultra-proactive. We will transition the term "killer". We believe we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to iterate interactively. The dot-com, B2B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without systems, you will lack media sourcing. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We constantly whiteboard affiliate-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We will step up our power to extend without depreciating our power to transform. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? The re-sizing factor is customized, dynamic. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We often transform fractal reconfigurable, global, subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "global accounting" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of robust Total Quality Control. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, global. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Without re-sizing, you will lack process management reports. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without preplanned media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging biometrics? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined infomediaries and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The e-businesses factor is synergistic. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The sticky, robust compliance factor is customer-directed. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical research and development and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. At Sample, Example and Instance LLP, we realize how to engineer magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to target globally. We will brand the industry jargon "B2C2B". The ultra-ubiquitous architectures factor is front-end. We think we know that it is better to generate robustly than to generate magnetically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will orchestrate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "viral". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The capability to exploit virtually leads to the power to generate virally. Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of one-to-one, 60/24/7/365, extensible, viral web services. Think vertical. The reporting factor is mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust paradigms and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! The CAD monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of reconfigurable research and development. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capacity to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to syndicate dynamically. What does the term "accounting" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Think B2C. Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!