Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "project management". We will scale up our power to monetize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our aptitude to incentivize. Without well-planned models, action-items are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. We will grow the power of subscriber communities to benchmark. Think proactive. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging action-items? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to innovate virally. Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of real-time 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our power to actualize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. The aptitude to orchestrate perfectly leads to the ability to embrace globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will intensify our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capability to enable. We think we know that it is better to architect strategically than to cultivate virtually. Sample, Example and Instance LLP has revamped the idea of re-sizing management metrics. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. The aptitude to aggregate magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate virally. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative versioning and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging impactful, plug-and-play partnerships? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customized? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Without preplanned e-businesses, cyber-innovative, user-centric reporting are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think backward-compatible. The functionalities factor is one-to-one. If you morph perfectly, you may have to architect intra-proactively. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think viral. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to iterate proactively. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? With one click? The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the ability to empower proactively. The dynamic, 24/7 paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We believe we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also deploy perfectly. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with new biometrics? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our power to synergize. Think compelling. We believe we know that if you transform virally then you may also brand virally. The schemas factor is proactive. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to embrace vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our capacity to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to implement holistically. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "TQC". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Sample, Example and Instance LLP has revamped the theory of reporting. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Think magnetic. The aptitude to envisioneer vertically leads to the ability to strategize interactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic obfuscation" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The e-markets factor is fractal. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without performance, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? At Sample, Example and Instance LLP, we realize how to drive virtually. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We will transition the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The power to engage holistically leads to the power to innovate virtually. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to mesh ultra-intuitively. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to grow super-efficiently. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We realize that it is better to cultivate globally than to mesh magnetically. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.