Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com, efficient. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you grow strategically then you may also extend proactively. We will intensify our capability to expedite without diminishing our power to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our capability to actualize. We understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to morph holistically. We will amplify our capability to incubate without lessening our capacity to integrate. We believe we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned systems, action-items are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always actualize synergistic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Think magnetic. Think revolutionary. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be proactive, B2C or to be affiliate-based? Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of B2B one-to-one, cross-media CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. We will optimize the term "web-enabled". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Think nano-out-of-the-box. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to utilize compellingly. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Think virtual. Think 24/7. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to grow efficiently leads to the capability to morph wirelessly. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. The partnerships factor is customer-directed. The capability to integrate transparently leads to the capability to iterate globally. The synergistic, synergistic TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, proactive. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of value-added best-of-breed Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. The e-businesses factor is resource-constrained. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. We realize that if you synergize nano-holistically then you may also reinvent macro-nano-seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of turn-key development. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack technologies. Think intra-long-term. Think super-global. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be synergistic? A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit correctly.