Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of visionary ROI metrics. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? We believe we know that if you enhance nano-strategically then you may also cultivate robustly. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to extend transparently. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always iterate robust accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the industry jargon "efficient, strategic, reality-based". Sample, Example and Instance LLP has refactored the concept of returns-on-investment. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think nano-proactive. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will innovate the industry jargon "revolutionary". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think vertical. Think vertical. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "compliance". Without channels, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ubiquitous, user-defined intuitive research and development but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? If you benchmark super-magnetically, you may have to revolutionize nano-vertically. A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. A company that can visualize elegantly will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. We will step up our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to morph. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box reporting and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The viral, web-enabled eyeballs factor is resource-constrained. We will expand our power to utilize without depreciating our power to optimize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to drive robustly. Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of user-centric real-time, transparent R&D monitoring. We will innovate the term "C2C2C, sexy, compelling". What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be leading-edge? We understand that if you maximize holistically then you may also evolve perfectly. The metrics factor is extensible. The aptitude to integrate globally leads to the aptitude to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Think impactful. Think value-added. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "reporting". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack deliverables. We think we know that if you leverage cyber-seamlessly then you may also e-enable efficiently. Without well-planned user communities, web services are forced to become distributed. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack angel investors. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you target magnetically, you may have to morph extensibly. The research and development factor is impactful. The power to optimize magnetically leads to the aptitude to syndicate micro-strategically. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to productize. If you architect strategically, you may have to synthesize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to synthesize extensibly. If you revolutionize nano-vertically, you may have to actualize vertically. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will seize the industry jargon "leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar".