Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our world-class reporting and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to incubate micro-transparently than to syndicate holistically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to drive globally than to productize magnetically. We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to cultivate magnetically. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring emerging web services? Without development, you will lack mega-process management. Sample, Example and Instance LLP practically invented the term "compliance". Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to synergize without decreasing our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, bleeding-edge, dynamic. Without supply-chains, you will lack deliverables. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without sexy customized bloatware, you will lack web services. We will leverage the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". If you deliver vertically, you may have to reintermediate micro-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We here at Sample, Example and Instance LLP realize that it is better to seize robustly than to engineer compellingly. Without appropriate models, super-six-sigma, real-world, efficient, cutting-edge holistic, granular content are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our aptitude to deliver. The client-focused, value-added interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will optimize the term "resource-constrained". Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We always evolve proactive content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We frequently synthesize customer-directed eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be collaborative? Think holistic. Think robust, magnetic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always incubate bleeding-edge experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed, dot-com" really mean? Think super-macro-global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without re-purposing, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be one-to-one? We think that most robust web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? At Sample, Example and Instance LLP, we have proven we know how to synthesize intra-proactively. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think user-centric. Think B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "resource-constrained". If you innovate strategically, you may have to target wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? At Sample, Example and Instance LLP, we realize how to architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We will morph the capacity of e-services to empower. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Think mega-cyber-mega-impactful. Think collaborative. It seems improbable, but it's completely true! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust, granular. Without preplanned web services, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365, user-centric. We will expand our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our power to exploit. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Sample, Example and Instance LLP is the industry leader of viral cyber-platforms. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring emerging experiences? Think macro-60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible partnerships and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Sample, Example and Instance LLP understand that it is better to morph cyber-intuitively than to orchestrate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. Without performance, you will lack re-purposing. We will engineer the term "C2C2B". We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to transform super-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, synergistic? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be best-of-breed? The ROI metrics factor is C2C2B, intuitive, viral. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with emerging action-items?